i swear to god i want to marry all of you

chaotic--cosmos  asked:

Please talk about the mummy returns

pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?

I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day. 

but what the people want, the people get!

RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!

aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit. 

ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human! 

the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.

okay. sure jan. 

but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome! 

alex o’connell. this kid is literally:

  • 50% evie super-klutz-genius. 
  • 50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at. 
  • 50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit. 
  • 10% i’m really bad at math. 

you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:

Originally posted by rafikecoyote

ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS. (because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again. 

*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.”
*after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”

he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”

Originally posted by lestatscherie

jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family. 

“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”

“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”

when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.

Originally posted by aurhireactions

rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.

“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.”
*sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.”
“knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”

Originally posted by lmhotep

evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess

“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”

rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.”
evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”

Originally posted by a-ripley

we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses. 

imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.

anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time. 

Originally posted by marimoody

the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today. 

thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed

Originally posted by charmander-ann

THE ROMANCE AGAIN:

normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH. 

not here bitch. 

rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.

Originally posted by yocalio

the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?

JUST DO IT.

Originally posted by mummymovies

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

Practical Shakespeare Quotes

Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.

“What an ass am I!”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

“I am not a slut,”
As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,”
The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2

“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5

“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”

King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Making the beast with two backs,”
Othello, Act 1, Scene 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,”
As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1

“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,”
Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2
(Works great for courting hot widows.)

“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,”
Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,”
Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5

“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.”
A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5
(No judgement here.)

“My horse is my mistress,”
Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7
(Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)

“Thou dost infect my eyes,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,”
Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5
(“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)

“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,”
Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3

“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1

“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!”
King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”
Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2
(This means exactly what you think it does.)

“And thou unfit for any place but hell,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,”
Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
Othello, Act 4, Scene 2

“Out, dunghill!”
King John, Act 4, Scene 3

“This is too long.”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!


  1. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
  2. “How long have you been standing there?”
  3. “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”
  4. “Who gave you that black eye?”
  5. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
  6. “I just like proving you wrong.”
  7. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
  8. “Forget it. You fucking suck.”
  9. “Quit it or I’ll bite.”
  10. “If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”
  11. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
  12. “I’m pregnant.”
  13. “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”
  14. “Take. It. Off.”
  15. “Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”
  16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”
  17. “Stop it! It tickles!”
  18. “It’s okay to cry…”
  19. “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”
  20. “D..did you just make that noise?”
  21. “He’s a bad kisser.”
  22. “You can scream if you want.”
  23. “I didn’t know we were keeping track.”
  24. “We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”
  25. “One of them’s missing.”
  26. “Save some for me.”
  27. “Oh, fuck off.”
  28. “You’re still mad?”
  29. “Come over here and make me.”
  30. “You better watch yourself.”
  31. “Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”
  32. “Why did we have to have kids?”
  33. “Call on Line 1”
  34. “He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”
  35. “I’m done! You can fix it!”
  36. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  37. “Where did he go?”
  38. “You leave whenever you feel like it.”
  39. “I forgot I was a single parent.”
  40. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
  41. “You’re going out dressed like that?”
  42. “For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  
  43. “Frost the damn cupcakes.”
  44. “Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”
  45. “You look pretty hot in plaid.”  
  46. “I thought you were dead!”
  47. “I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”
  48. “We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”
  49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”
  50. “You know you want it, sweetheart.”
  51. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  
  52. “You just wanted them because the light up.”
  53. “That wasn’t very subtle.”
  54. “He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  
  55. “It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”
  56. “I don’t do hugs.”
  57. “Don’t talk anymore.”
  58. “I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”
  59. “How do I even put up with you?”
  60. “I said get rid of it.”
  61. “They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”
  62. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”
  63. “Can you just man up and change his diaper?”
  64. “Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”
  65. “I have a secret.”
  66. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
  67. “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”
  68. “He’s four years old!!”
  69. “I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”
  70. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
  71. “Me and the boys will handle it.”
  72. “You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”
  73. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
  74. “You’re a dork, just like your father.”
  75. “Mind if I join you?”
  76. “Daddy!”
  77. “I lost our child.”
  78. “That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”
  79. “My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”
  80. “There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”
  81. “I’ll take care of it.”
  82. “I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”
  83. “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”
  84. “Come on, baby, up to bed.”
  85. “They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”
  86. “Am I scaring you?”
  87. “Run! You said you’d work out with me!”
  88. “After everything…I’d still choose you.”
  89. “And when did you plan on telling me about this?”
  90. “Trust me.”
  91. “Scoot over a little bit, please.”
  92. “You’re so clingy, I love it.”
  93. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”
  94. “Did they hurt you?”
  95. “You’re cute when you’re all worried.”
  96. “Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”
  97. “I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”
  98. “Don’t shut me out.”
  99. “You got a cute butt.”
  100. “I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”
  101. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”
  102. “Do you really think I could ever replace you?”
  103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”
  104. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”
  105. “You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”
  106. “Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”
  107. “You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”
  108. “Have you seen my contacts?”
  109. “Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”
  110. “Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”
  111. “You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”
  112. “Is he coming home?”
  113. “I prefer blondes.”
  114. “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”
  115. “I let you win.”
  116. “I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”
  117. “Can I do your hair?”
  118. “Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”
  119. “I told you not to jump on the bed!”
  120. “He’s pampering me, let him be.”
  121. “Ready or not, here I come.”
  122. “I’m worried about losing my job!”
  123. “Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”
  124. “Happy new year!”
  125. “Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”
  126. “You nap, I’ll stay awake.”
  127. “It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”
  128. “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
  129. “I’ll give you a massage.”
  130. “You fell asleep in the tub?!”
  131. “Are you doodling?”
  132. “We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”
  133. “Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”
  134. “Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”
  135. “Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”
  136. “You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”
  137. “We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”
  138. “Is this our closet? Or your closet?”
  139. “If I win, you do dishes for a week.”
  140. “Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”
  141. “Use your words.”
  142. “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”
  143. “Ew, your hand is sweaty.”
  144. “Get out of my face before I hit you.”
  145. “I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”
  146. “You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”
  147. “Look! Fireflies!”
  148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”
  149. “I just need ten minutes.”
  150. *Make Your Own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
SKAM S04E07 Clip 6 - Fucking over your friends

VILDE: He’ll break up with me..

EVA: No, Vilde, he won’t.

VILDE: Yes, he will!

CHRIS: He won’t do that..

EVA: Vilde, there are some douchebags who have done this and it’s not your fault. Someone did this to you.

NOORA: It’s not your fault.

EVA: It’s going to be fine. You’re just very, very sad now.

SANA: What happened?

EVA: Someone made ellevillevillde 2 and posted lots of shit about Vilde. It’s really bad.

CHRIS: Yeah..

NOORA: Oh my God..

CHRIS: It’ll be fine.. Just..

Keep reading

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

“God, someone shut him up,” Erica groans. They’re all kind of at their breaking point by now; they’ve been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it’s just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it’s hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he’s just gotten so fed up with them all that it’s either storm out or kill someone, and he’s just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It’s a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. “Oh my god, is that what I think it is?”

Derek holds it up over his head. “Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own.”

“Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs.” Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek’s grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

“Why don’t I get a meatball sub?” Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. “You didn’t ask.”

“You just like Stilinski better,” she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can’t help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

“Mmm,” Stiles says. “Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me.”

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, “Okay.”

Keep reading

100 Dialogue Prompts
  1. “Where the hell did that baby come from, Marissa?!" 
  2. “Did you destroy the world AGAIN?”
  3. "What do you mean you’re a serial killer?”    
  4. “Listen, you can’t just keep shoving people off the sides of cliffs.”
  5. “Oh my god. I thought you were dead.”
  6. “That wasn’t there before”
  7. “So what now?” “I have no idea, I thought that would kill us”
  8. “I can’t believe you’re married to death, again!”
  9. “Assassination would seem to be a better career, with your skillset.”
  10. “It’s not my fault that the snails committed mutiny!”
  11. “It’s situations like this that make me question why I follow you anywhere.”
  12. “Where did this dog come from?”
  13. “Did you remember to take the skin off?”
  14. “I was going to ask what you’re doing, but at this point, I don’t think I want to know.”
  15. “Why is there a corpse in the bathtub?”
  16. “What in tarnation”
  17. “I love you, I’ll make you love me too”
  18. “This would be a lot easier if you sat still.”
  19. “You see, it all began when it spoke back.”
  20. “This is the pit where we keep the cube that screams.”
  21. “Why did you steal my door?”
  22. “Why didn’t you just listen to me…”
  23. “Hey, you finally made it!”
  24. “Wait, there were only three of them. Why are there now four?”
  25. “How do you ‘accidentally’ hit someone hard enough to rip a hole through time and space?”
  26. “Why is there bloodstains on the floor, honey?”
  27. “… Why are you… eating tacos at 3 AM?” “Why not?”
  28. “Why would you train your gerbil army to take over the world and enslave humanity?!”
  29. “Are toasters supposed to float?”
  30. “Honey, did you eat the dog”
  31. “Hey bro, where’s our sister?” “Um… we don’t have a sister.”
  32. “Wanna help me steal a giraffe?”
  33. “I told you that you would regret it, now we’ve ended up like this.”
  34. “Why are your clothes all wet? Why are you covered in glitter? Why does your sister have wings? Ah- get off the carpet! It’s getting all wet!”
  35. “You’re not actually sure, are you?”
  36. “What do you expect me to do? I’m a magician, not a wizard!”
  37. “Dad? What are you doing here? This is a spaceship.”
  38. “Mom says I can’t burn the city hall with you. She said that we’re going to my aunt that day.”
  39. “You….you just don’t understand..”
  40. “Okay, so. No more caffeine for you, that’s apparent.”
  41. “Where were you last night?”
  42. “Okay but have you seen what my hair does?! I kills people!”
  43. “I don’t think you understand the term 'dead or alive’, because I don’t know if this thing IS dead or alive”
  44. “What do you mean, ‘there wasn’t a murder weapon’?”
  45. “Time flies, but I can fly faster.”
  46. “You just crashed with MY podship into that wall and all you say is »It’s just a scratch«?”
  47. “Now sweetie, don’t get scared when you hear the gunshots, okay? Just don’t come to the house.”
  48. “and… why do you have a gorilla in your room again?”
  49. “Okay, last question: why is there an owl in the fridge?”
  50. “Well shit, you’re hotter than i was expecting.”
  51. “It turns out, space isn’t actually the final frontier”
  52. “If I had hands right now I would choke you.”
  53. “…why did you think it would be a good idea to set that on fire?”
  54. “Close your eyes, sweetie. They can’t get you then.”
  55. “That tiger, that tiger eats humans”
  56. “I swear, if ONE more person comes at me with their hot dog buns–”
  57. “If you would have just kissed them, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on traintracks about to be smushed like bugs!”
  58. “Do I want to know why your'e in my apartment wearing only sport shorts which are quite tight?”
  59. “What do you mean that woman wasn’t you?”
  60. “Why is there a dog on the couch?!”
  61. “Stop dude stop, you scared the dogs.”
  62. “What on earth made you think the banana was a good idea?
  63. "Do I want to know whats in the box”
  64. “Wait, no! Please don’t leave me here, it’s getting dark. Have you not heard the stories of the things in these woods?”
  65. “Those were shoes yesterday”
  66. “Can I at least put on my socks first?”
  67. “Why is the Devil in your living room?” “It’s Saturday, Tom. Date night.”
  68. “John, get your damn death ray off of my cat’s bed. You’ve given poor Fluffy radiation poisoning!”
  69. “I get it, you think I don’t care about you. You think I want nothing to do with you… And you’re right.”
  70. “No. Not after last time.”
  71. “What made you think you could survive this?”
  72. “No! I never said you could reenact General Sherman’s Total War tactic from the Civil War! We’re gonna get arrested!”
  73. “Why does our 8 y/o daughter think that THAT werewolf is her pet dog?! He’s been terrorizing our entire town!!”
  74. “Have you even bothered to consider your options before deciding to bungee jump into the Pacific?”
  75. “That is NOT how you bury a dead body, Jared!”
  76. “Do you know where the cat is? I haven’t seen it in two weeks…”
  77. “You did what?!” “It’s not that big of a deal” “You killed a man!”
  78. “But you love me, don’t you? So you’ll forgive me.”
  79. “I don’t care.”
  80. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right?”
  81. “You’d be surprised how flexible a sloth can be.”
  82. “Oh great, the world exploded…. again”
  83. “I dressed up for THIS?”
  84. “Why? And how?”
  85. “Would it hurt you to tell me exactly where we’re going?”
  86. “You can’t take back those words anymore. Or everything else you did.”
  87. “he didn’t do anything I fucking told him to do!”
  88. “When they came, why didn’t you fight?”
  89. “What are you doing here?” “I was about to ask you the same thing…” “Well, it’s called the hanging tree for a reason.”
  90. “__, please come down from the tree, i’ll treat you to pizza.”
  91. “You can… seriously? Oh my gosh, teach me teach me teach me!!”
  92. “I wasn’t aware that 'monster’ was a term of endearment.”
  93. “Yes, I’m sure your flower pot really is trying to kill you, Debra.”
  94. “Why is our child on the roof?”
  95. “Do you want a hug? Will that help?”
  96. “How could you sign us up for this without reading the fine print?! It says right there that we have to give up everything!!!”
  97. “And it’s been stuck in there how long now?”
  98. “I learned I can’t trust you when the world was "fine”, now tell me one reason not to place a bullet between your eyes and listen to you.“
  99. “Why the hell are you naked in my room?”
  100. "Having criminals line up against their will and you killing them is not community service!”

100 prompts. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your ideas and contributing to our community.

Let’s make a new list right now! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”! I will use the first 100 prompts for the next list. One prompt per amigo please!

THE QUEST FOR LOVE

Relationships has never been something I’m brave enough to write about, especially in public. The love between a man and a woman to me is very personal. Add religion into the equation and it just becomes very sacred to me. I do not wish to write too long, since I have classes tomorrow at 9am and it’s exactly 4.30am right now. However, I just need to let a few things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now. Also, due to my hectic schedule, this is the only time I have to write- though I swear to god I’m super sleepy right now

Before we jump into the topic, yes I am single. Have I ever been in a relationship? The answer is also yes. I know how it feels like to love and be loved the same way I know how it feels to be completely shattered. You see, different people have different definitions of love. I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can sometimes reflect the kind of person we are. For instance, I really value religion, knowledge and ambition. Thus, if i were to marry someone, I look for someone with these exact characteristics. I want someone who has the same goals that I have. Someone who will not only fight with me to succeed in this world, but also in the hereafter. I need someone who works just as hard as I do, not someone who is always tired and only cares about sleep. No more time should be wasted with whiny and lazy ambitionless boys. If you’re serious to pursue a relationship, look for a man.

If there’s one thing a relationship has taught me, it is the importance of maturity when it comes to love. NEVER indulge in a relationship just because it’s a ‘nice’ feeling. If you want to be with someone might as well be with a person who will help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally and also emotionally. If the relationship you are in is leading you towards the haraam, leave. No buts. It is just the end of a toxic relationship, not the end of the world. 

By the way people, it is perfectly OKAY to be single. I have been single for over a year now, and wallahi I have never been this happy and I have been achieving so much. I always tell my friends that when you are single, you have 27 hours a day. What it essentially mean is that you’ll have more time for yourself. I know some people who can only seek comfort in the presence of their significant other. After one relationship ends they feel the need to jump into another. Chill people, chill. Take a breather. You don’t need another person to feel sufficient. Try to be comfortable and at peace with yourself with or without a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be spent with your significant other, so while you’re single, might as well really embrace/enjoy it.

Okay last point before I hit the sack, never settle. Ya Allah I can’t stress this enough. Being single is better than being with the wrong person. As they say, it’s better to wait long than marry wrong. If we dont know what we deserve, we will always settle for less. But to deserve more, we should first be more. Build your character before you choose to build a family. Study hard, learn new skills, take up a hobby, read more, travel. There’s so much that can be done when you’re single for your personal development. Take care of yourself. Your health, spirituality, intelligence, akhlak (good character) etc & inshaAllah you’ll get someone who’d do the same for you.

Jim Rohn once said, “The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me”.

I know this entry is all over the place, but I’m half awake so do forgive me. I hope you find this post helpful. As for me, call me philophobic but I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But when the time comes, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud with the lady I have become. If you happen to read this, whoever you may be, please know that not a day passes that I don’t make do’a for you, and for us. Wherever you are in this world, I hope you are also striving to be your best self. May Allah make it easy for us to find our way to each other. See you when I see you!

Ending this cringey post with one of my favorite quotes from Rumi,

‘Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.’

Lots of love,

Aisyah

Inexorable (2)

Plot: How does is feel to be arranged to be married to a cocky, arrogant Mafia leader? Once you look at his face, you think you’re lucky, but then he opens his mouth.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, (eventual) smut, Mafia au!

Notes: Welp, since so many of you asked for it, here is a part two!! There are two other stories which need a continuation as well, so I might keep requests closed for a while.. Sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind. Feel free to ask me questions, though! Ya’ll are so nice to me! 2,053 Words

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (FINAL)

The ride to the vacation home wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your husband actually gave you the space you needed. There were brief glares exchanged between the two of you, a whole lot of drinking, and forced slumber – it was a 3 hour ride, after all. 

When the both of you had finally reached, the luggage was taken out by the bodyguards who had come along, and brought to your huge master bedroom. It was twice the size of your father’s office – if not, bigger – the bed was king-sized, and adorned with silk sheets. The walk-in wardrobe was already stacked with clothes for both sexes, making you wonder why you had even brought luggage in the first place.

“Too small, honestly,” Jungkook commented, plopping down on the couch by the fireplace. “My room is bigger than this.”

There he was, ruining the moment again. It was a good thing you were too exhausted to fight with him; but that didn’t mask over the fact that you still wanted to knock him out.

“Brat..” 

Keep reading

prompt list

feel free to request away
-
1. “Why are we at a strip club?”
2. “I’m sorry, you said what to your teacher?”
3. “Am I dead?”
4. “It’s always been you. You and only you.”
5. “If you loved me, you’d fight for it. If you loved me, you’d show it. If you loved me, you’d fight for me. Do you even know what love is?”
6. “Stay with me.”
7. “How about we put the gun down and talk about this?”
8. “I came here to kick ass and chew gum.. and I’m all out of gum.”
9. “Whatever it is I didn’t do it.”
10. “Don’t make me regret saving you.”
11. “Are you-are you flirting with me?”
12. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.”
13. “I trusted you.”
14. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”
15. “Don’t tempt me.”
16. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
17. “Is that my shirt?”
18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”
19. “Does your life revolve around embarrassing me?”
20. “I can’t do this anymore.”
21. “Do you smell burning?”
22. “Look at the sky.”
23. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
24. “I will not hesitate to murder you.”
25. “It’s simple really. Here let me show you.”
26. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
27. “Hey have you seen my- Oh.”
28. “Go to hell.” “Already been but thanks for the invite.”
29. “Look at me.”
30. “Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”
31. “Don’t tell me how to calm down, you calm down!”
32. “Where did you get that?”
33. “Oh my gosh is that blood?”
34. “What are you doing here by yourself?”
35. “Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving.”
36. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
37. “You don’t need to protect me.”
38. “Stop looking at me like that!”
39. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
40. “All I wanted was the truth.”
41. “I had a nightmare about you, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
42. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
43. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”
44. “I forgive a lot, but I never forget what was said and done.”
45. “Again?”
46. “Please shut up. Just shut up.”
47. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
48. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
49. “Go on, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
50. “I just want to be alone right now.”
51. “Those things you said yesterday.. did you really mean them?”
52. “Just say it is okay. I just need to hear you say that.”
53. “I love you and I am terrified.”
54. “Promise me you’ll come back.. I need you to promise me.”
55. “That’s distracting.”
56. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”
58. “This is by far the most stupid plan you’ve ever created. Of course I’m in.”
59. “You did this for me?”
60. “I’m afraid this conversation is going to end in goodbye.”
61. “Would you just hold still?”
62. “We’re running low on time here.”
63. “You’ve got something on your cheek.”
64. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”
65. “Really, right now?”
66. “Wait, you’re my soulmate?”
67. “I really wish you told me your mother was in town.”
68. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”
69. “I can never say no to a picnic.”
70. “I could tell it was your favorite book from all the notes you wrote in the margins.”
71. “I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”
72. “I’m yours, in every way possible.”
73. “We’re not just friends, and you know it.”
74. “Well. Yell, scream, say something, anything.”
75. “Where do you think you’re going?”
76. “Nobody thinks what I think.”
77. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”
78. “Just please be my best friend right now, and not the person I confessed my love to.”
79. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
80. “Make me.”
81. “Well if you insist.”
82. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”
83. “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”
84. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
85. “Sometimes I really dislike you.”
86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
87. “It’s too early for this.”
88. “But then I’d have to put pants on..”
89. “If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me.”
90. “Are you trying to make me to hate you? Because it’s working.”
91. “Don’t open those till later!”
92. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
93. “To be honest I could care less.”
94. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
95. “Hold my hand, we have to make this look convincing!”
96. “I’ll make it right for you.”
97. “When you smile I fall apart.”
98. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
99. “I really don’t know why I’m crying.”
100. “I won’t let you fall.”
101. “I’m like 20% sure this plan work. There’s an 80% chance we could die horribly and violently, but this plan is solid, I swear.”
102. “I’m not happy here.”
103. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
104. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
105. “Well if you’re up for the challenge.”
106. “I’ve moved on.”
107. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you don’t think I can see you.”
108. “If I die, I am coming back to haunt you.”
109. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”
110. “If you walk out that door don’t you dare think about coming back.”
111. “Is that a challenge?”
112. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
113. “I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them.”
114. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
115. “I mean, it could be worse.”
116. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
117. “This was all a dream?”
118. “It’s not what it looks like.”
119. “It’s okay I’m here for you.”
120. “Wait, you did what again?”
121. “Just talk to me.”
122. “Just leave me alone!”
123. “Let him go! It’s me who you want!”
124. “My parents asked about you again.”
125. “Make a wish.”
126. “None of this makes sense.”
127. “None of that matters anymore.”
128. “Wait this is your handwriting? I thought this was hieroglyphics.”
129. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.”
130. “Oh my god! You’re in love with her!”
131. “Please don’t give up on me.”
132. “Please listen to me.”
133. “Please don’t go.”
134. “Please.. I love you.”
135. “Please, take me instead!”
136. “Please don’t leave me.”
137. “Please don’t argue with me.”
138. “Promise me you’ll take care of her/him.”
139. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”
140. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
141. “Why are you taking so many photos?”
142. “I didn’t know you could play.”
143. “You can sing?”
144. “Teach me how to play?”
145. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “Because you’re wearing two different shoes.”
146. “Want to talk about it?”
147. “I just really miss talking with you.”
148. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”
149. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
150. “You made me what?”
151. “Times up!”
152. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
153. “We could’ve had it all.”
154. “Are you sure you two aren’t married?”
155. “Well.. don’t keep me waiting.”
156. “Please look at me.”
157. “What have I ever done to you?”
158. “What are you doing here?”
159. “When are you going to realize I don’t care?”
160. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people stop to roll their eyes or call you crazy.. even then. Especially then!”
161. “Where did that cat come from?”
162. “Where did you get this from?”
163. “Why are you up so early?”
164. “Why can’t they see they’re meant for each another?”
165. “Why did you choose me?”
166. “Why don’t you say it to my face?”
167. “Why couldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
168. “Would you stop for a second so I can say something to you for once!”
169. “You need to calm down.”
170. “I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.”
171. “You are nothing like them.”
172. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
173. “I never believed in love till I met you.”
174. “I don’t need a Prince Charming saving me.”
175. “You can’t sit on the sidelines your entire life!”
176. “You deserve so much better.”
177. “You did all of this for me?”
178. “You take my love for granted.”
179. “You haven’t even touched your food.. what’s going on?”
180. “You know my name?”
181. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this on my own.”
182. “Stay the night. Please.”
183. “What did you say?”
184. “Why are you so annoying?”
185. “Don’t ask me that.”
186. “Don’t ever mention that again.”
187. “What’s with the box?”
188. “Say it!”
189. “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
190. “Did you do this on purpose?”
191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”
192. “It’s not fair!”
193. “I could kill you right now!”
194. “Don’t you dare give me that look!”
195. “Screw you!”
196. “Just shut up already.”
197. “You are so infuriating.
198. “Listen to me!”
199. “I dare you!”
200. “Please pretend to be my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
201. “You think I’m insensible enough to fall for that?”
202. “I’m not going to apologize. I can’t anymore.”
203. “Is this seat taken?”
204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”
205. “You are strangely comfortable.”
206. “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
207. “I don’t know how to feel any more.”
208. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
209. “Just marry me already.”
210. “Did I stutter?”
211. “Did I just say that out loud?”
212. “Did you hear that.”
213. “Don’t say you love me.”
214. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
215. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
216. “I try so hard to forget you, but every single time it comes back to you.”
217. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
218. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know what I put up with it all? Because I love you!”
220. “I just need you here with me right now.”
221. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and- Oh screw it!”
222. “We can’t lose each other, we just can’t.”
223. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”
224. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
225. “I waited and waited, but you never came back!”
226. “I’m sick of feeling useless!”
227. “Is that what you call an apology?”
228. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”
229. “Somebody’s in love!”
230. “It’s not what it looks like.”
231. “Just hold me.”
232. “You’re the best part of me.”
233. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
234. “Can I hold your hand?”
235. “Let’s go get lost somewhere.”
236. “I just don’t know how to look forward anymore.”

Being pregnant with Steve Rogers' baby:

Originally posted by closer-to-the-edge-of-glory

• Without any doubt, when you discover your pregnancy, you are already married to Steve.
   - Some people around him tend to forget it, but he has been raised in the Catholic values. It means, he still believes in God, and for him, starting a family means being committed and happily married.
• Steve is speechless for a quick moment when you tell him about your pregnancy.
• However, the shock of the news swallowed, he takes you in his arms, careful to not use his super-strength and he peppers kisses all over your face.
• He chuckles, saying he is the happiest man on the planet and he gives you that smile. The same smile that made your knees go weak.
• After a long moment, he releases you from his arms in panic because he thinks he’s hurting the baby.
• Your husband immediately finds a safe house like Clint’s, but a Brooklyn inspired one. Nobody knows about your home location to protect your future family.
• The team is overly happy that a mini-avenger is on their way! Natasha is the happiest of all and she can’t hide her tears.
• Tony calls himself godfather or uncle… it depends on the days.
  - “No, Tony! My child isn’t going to wear a metal suit.”
  - “Steve, I’m obviously the uncle here, so this baby will have tons of gifts, including a suit.”
  - “I swear if you-”
  - “Y/N, your husband is threatening me.”
• He hates the morning sicknesses as much as you because he feels helpless.
• Steve spends his free days making your house safe for the baby.
• You are annoyed that you can’t go on missions for a while and you get bored easily.
• But your husband spoils you whenever he can. He just makes sure you are comfortable and happy all the time. He’s the sweetest of all.
• Steve buys every book he finds and does all the research he needs because he wants to be ready to welcome the baby.
• Sam and Bucky are always here to calm him down when he’s feeling stressed.
• Gosh, he is so adorable when he is with you. He keeps saying you are his safe haven.
• He overreacts every time he learns something new about the pregnancy.
• Steve is worried your child will have the same issues he had before the serum, but you tell him this baby will be loved and cherished, anyway.
• You cuddle all the time.
• He’s so into you, though!
• The first time you can really feel the baby kicks, you rush to his office and without a word, you place his hand on your stomach. This is a very emotional moment for both of you.
• Since then, he always asks you before rubbing your belly and listening to your baby.
• Steve confesses he is afraid of fatherhood because of his family’s story.
• You tell him that he will learn just like you and if he protects the baby as much as you, then they will never catch a cold.
• Never.
• You try to convince your husband to go on missions because that’s his duty.
• He promises you he will come back and he tries to call you every day to have some news whether they are important or unnecessary to share.
• When you’re away, Steve asks Laura for help every time your hormones drive you mad.
• - “You’re so beautiful in that dress. Let’s go for a walk in the park?”
  - “You disabled the Wi-Fi on my laptop once again, haven’t you?”
  - “Uh…?”
  - “Steve.”
  - “But it’s not healthy for anyone, doll!”
• He says he doesn’t have a preference about the gender of your baby, but he secretly wants a girl. He thinks there are too many male members of the Avengers family.
• During the last months of your pregnancy, Steve places his cup of coffee on your belly just to make you laugh.
• You think of calling your baby either Sarah if it’s a girl or James if it’s a boy.

Bonus:
• Steve tries to be so prepared that he’s got a whole schedule made out for the day you would go into labor. He named it: Rogers family’s D-Day.
• When you finally go to the hospital, he grips your hand harder than you are holding is.
• Even though you are completely exhausted after giving birth to your baby, your husband thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
• So many tears are shed when Steve holds and looks down at the baby for the first time. His whole life he thought he’d never have his own family and now that he does, he can’t even explain how happy he is.

PERMANENT TAG LIST:
@feelmyroarrrr @gallifreyansass @bicevans @ballerinafairyprincess @misschrisevans @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @buckybarnesisalittleshit @helloitscrowley @captainamerica-ce @kiwi71281 @topthis808 @dead-lee-15 @the-daydreamer-girl @our-love-world @hellomissmabel @voidobsession @mrssierrarogers @redstarstan @punkrockhippiefromthefourties @angryschnauzer @fangirling-is-what-i-do-best @minstrel-axx @captainamerotica @kaitlynthehuman @juneookami @mellifluous-melodramas @sfreeborn @buckyswinterchildren @potterhead1265 @castellandiangelo @louisespecter @fvckingevans @katnisswa @justanotherfangurlz @10kindsofderp @1enchantedfantasy1 @logan8546 @thewinterpunkass @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @chrisevans-imagines @sian22redux @a-winchester-by-choice @captainumeboshi @katie27hp @seizethedaygodhatesus @sebastianstanaddictsanonymous - tell me if you’d like to be added/deleted. :)

Trouble in Canada // 2

a/n: You all have been so patient and I know I’m a bit late (4 months late soz about that). Every single one of you have been so amazing with the support of this, and it blows my mind every time I get a notification that TiC got another note. And when I posted earlier today that I was posting it, I absolutely loved the response I got in my inbox.  It made my heart incredibly happy and with each message that came in, not gonna lie, i teared up a bit. You all have been so lovely and good sports (especially when i posted that fake TiC2 WHAT A TIME). So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the support. I have met some of the most incredible people through TiC and I cherish every single one of you. I feel so emotional posting this, but you all finally deserve the second part to probably the most angsty piece I have ever written (and will ever write omg).  So, please enjoy the second and final installment to Trouble in Canada :)

THANK YA TO MY LOVELY @whitechocolateperfection for reading over this and giving me confidence :) you’re the best and i love you a whole lot 

Trouble in Canada (1)  |  Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

“We need to talk,”

        Those four words held a weight so heavy that you lost your grip on your tea.  Your mug dropped to the floor, shattering in pieces and tea spilling all over the hardwood floor.  You immediately went to pick up the broken pieces.  On your knees, you picked up the shards of glass as Shawn was stood in the same exact position; not moving a single bone in his body to help you.

        Collecting all the tiny shards in your hand you swiftly moved past Shawn to go throw the pieces out in the kitchen.  You opened the trash bin, and right as you were about to throw out the broken mug, Shawn’s voice interrupted your movements, “Is that the mug I got you?  The one from our first Valentine’s day together?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey sorry do you know any ‘being a couple for a case’ fic ? Thank you'

I CERTAINLY DO. It’s one of my favourite tropes of ALL TIME. Like, I reread these fics ALL THE TIME. I am just SO SAD that there’s no long-fic really strictly from Sherlock’s POV. Like I would LOVE for a fic where we see Sherlock’s thought processes about trying to get John to be his date / partner / whatever. 

FAKE RELATIONSHIP 

ANYWAY. I added a few onto this list here, but here’s a full list of the ones in my bookmarks.

  • Wars We Fought, Things We’re Not by blueink3 (M | 55,126 w.) Five months after John’s world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for. [[**FAVE. You have to check this one out!**]]
  • I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E | 7,692 w.) - They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband. [[AHHH so much pining John, I love it. Sherlock is so good to him!!]]
  • A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E | 16,825 w.) John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica [[FAVE!!! MUST READ!!]]
  • Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E | 15,139 w.) - John is invited to his aunt’s Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John’s family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock. [[this one is cute]]
  • Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (M | 15,390 w.) - When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counselling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike. Part 12 of 25 Days of Johnlock [[OH GOD this one is lovely. Lots of pain but happy ending]]
  • That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (E | 35,353 w.)Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody’s happy. [[I really like this one. Jealous John AND Sherlock and lots of Angst]].
  • What I Hide By My Language, My Body Utters by PixChuu22 (M | 9,047 w.) - Based on a prompt from Tumblr user thetwogaydetectives - “fake relationship that ends up being so real, they finally realize they are in love.” (I like this one. They end up together because of a case).
  • The Case of the Made-Up Case by DoubleNegative (T | 2,394) - Sherlock takes John to a club. For a “case.” Yes, John, a case. Part 1 of The (Secret) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes [[CUTE!]]
  • The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E | 9,020) - John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it’s for a case. Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr [[LOVE THIS ONE. It’s so cute!]]
  • A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T | 91,009 w.)John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level… [[I love this fic. It’s a really great long-fic!]]
  • A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR | 3,364 w.) -  A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance. [[This one is so domestic and cute GUH I love it.]]
  • The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T | 47,798 w.) - Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock’s faked death and return. [[OMG this is like my FAVOURITE fic in this genre ever. It’s SO good and well characterized]].
  • Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E | 30,568 w.) “You love your mother, Sherlock?”John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk.“Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”
  • Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T | 21,178 w.) - To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues. [[nice amount of fluff and pining!]]
  • Hope Springs Eternal by QuinnAnderson (T | 4,054 w.) - John Watson and Sherlock Holmes go on holiday, and Sherlock has romance on the brain. [[Another cute one!]]
  • Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M | 32,406) - A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.
  • Disguises are always a self-portrait by yellowteapots (NR | 6,223 w.) - They were headed to a Pride Fest for a case-triple suicide/murder- which, of course mean they had to pretend to be couple. John had a suspicion Mycroft took a fairly sadistic glee in booking them a (single king-sized bed) room at the most romantic B&B in town. (I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH)
  • A Silver Sixpence by doodle (E | 16,400 w. LIVEJOURNAL) - John and Sherlock have to get married for a case, and learn some things about each other. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this story, though its only fault is that it’s on LiveJournal… (PITA to read on mobile)

AMNESIA:

Here are a couple where either John or Sherlock have amnesia and they think that they are each other’s husband or partner.

  • Among the Secret Things by Kate_Lear (E | 26,073 w.) - Sherlock would be the last person to describe himself as given to flights of fancy, but at the look on Lestrade’s face he could swear that something inside him curls up and dies. Part 1 of Among the Secret Things
  • What Meets the Eye by worldaccordingtofangirls (M | 8,251 w.) Amnesia is just another case to solve. Piece together unfamiliar faces, reconstruct the old identity, the lost reality. A challenge that Sherlock could even enjoy. He can read people like books. The man with the silver hair is his boss. The tottering old woman, his landlady. The girl with the worried look in her eyes…infatuated. And as for John Watson? His husband. Obviously.

“FOR A CASE” TROPE

So these aren’t necessarily relationships, or weren’t tagged as such, but contains some other “for a case” fics!

  • Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E | 151,907w.) - When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate’s charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim? [[THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS OF ALL TIME. tw for gore-ish type things near the end.]]
  • It Isn’t Strange Until You Think About It by ivyblossom (T | 4,596 w.) - John tells the truth about how it happened. For some reason, “it’s for a case” always seems to do the trick.
  • The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E | 44,025 w.) - Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants for a case. [[there are some angsty bits in this, but I did giggle at a few scenes]]

OTHER SORT-OF RELATED FICS:

Here are a few that aren’t REALLY “for a case” but they end up together or the Johnlock is strong in it because of cases or because of situations.

  • Rescue by missilemuse (T | 2,574 w.) - If this was the way Sherlock Holmes loved, it was no wonder why he had avoided the damned emotion for over half of his life. Part 6 of Reichenbach To Return [[this isn’t really Johnlock, but it is… it’s non-ad10ck ad10ck. You have to read it to understand. It’s SO good and painful, trust me. Sherlock!Whump and pining]].
  • Five Times John Noticed But Didn’t Really by ScandalousMinds (T| 6,383 w.) 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock’s relationship but really missed the obvious.
  • A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (K+| 964 w., FFNet) - As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened. (short and sweet!! I love it!!)
  • Hallowed Eve by EventHorizon (T | 14,750 w.) - It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to let Sherlock choose the costumes for Halloween, but John never considered himself the smartest man in the room, anyway. (It’s a couple’s costume thing!)
  • Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E | 3,834 w.) - Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.
  • Maybe This Christmas by feverishsea for leopardwrites (T | 6,021 w.) Anthea has given up her life, her own desires, even her name in service of something greater than herself. But that doesn’t mean she can’t see when someone else wants something – even if she doesn’t happen to care overmuch for that person. And it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to help. (Anthea gets the boys together)
  • You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile  (T | 23,584 w.) Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse (I LOVE THIS ONE)
  • The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M | 24,579 w.) Sherlock owes Mycroft a favor. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock’s consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock’s mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It’s a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within. Or In which John learns that Sherlock owing Mycroft a favor is very suspect, and Sherlock has a very bad idea.

Hope those satisfy! Alex also has a list that has some ACD Holmes on the list too!

They’re getting married.

With the sweat on his back sinking uncomfortably into his costume, Victor’s first and only thought is that they’re getting married. There are cameras flashing at them at blinding speeds as they hold up their medals, recording their every move, and the reporters yell for their attention. Victor drowns them all out.

Victor can’t exactly spare anyone a second of his glance.

Not when from the top podium, his fiancé holds up his gold medal with pride and just a hint of overwhelming disbelief, still in shock that he actually won. 

Not when Yuuri looks down at him with twinkling dark eyes and a breathless, slow grin, sweat beading at his hairline, looking like a masterpiece that has come to life. 

Not when he stares at Victor with his chest heaving, beautiful brown eyes shiny with happy tears, as if to say, Look at me, Vitya. Look how far I’ve come.

The sight makes Victor’s throat run dry, makes his gut flutter and his heart hammer inside his chest with the bruising force of his adoration. It makes Victor want to say, Happiness and a gold medal looks beautiful on you, solnyshko.

It makes him want to say, you make me fall in love with you again and again.

It makes him want to say, you are everything I’ve ever wanted.

It makes him want to say, please marry me. Please stay forever. I love you, I love you, I love you—

Keep reading

Klance Recs #2

A Kiss is a Kiss (But it’s never like this) by GibbousLunation (PG, 25k)
Summary: “How does this keep happening to us, every time.” Lance grumbled.

“You’d think they’d stop sending us on away missions,” he agreed. Honestly, between the poisonous plants of their last planet, and Lance’s tendency to always end up on the business end of every blaster or pointy ended stick, Allura was just being inefficient at this point.

Or, five times Keith kissed Lance but the situation was less than ideal, and one time Lance finally kissed him back. [5+1 Times]

supermassive black hole by epiproctan (NC-17, 7k)
Summary: Keith has always known that he wasn’t going to get what he truly wants out of the arrangement, but he also hadn’t ever imagined that it would just…end.

aka that classic fic where lance wants to stop hooking up but keith wants something else entirely [Friends with Benefits, Mutual Pining]

you never stood a chance by kagshina (PG, 12k)
Summary: lance to hunk ♡
>i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent
>keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said
>”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS”
>HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E

(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there’s lots of shirtless selfies) [College AU/Snapchat]

Love and Other Questions by squirenonny (PG, 46.6k, WIP)
Summary: One week after news of the Kerberos disaster broke, Pidge receives a new Mark–proof that Matt is still alive. She breaks into the Garrison to find him, only to find herself caught up in the fight for the fate of the universe.

Keith keeps his arms covered so he doesn’t have to watch Shiro’s scars compounding on his skin–but doing so means cutting off contact with his romantic soulmate, who greets him each morning with a new (and terrible) pickup line.

Shiro and Matt thought they were the luckiest people alive when they found out they were going to Kerberos together. But Shiro hasn’t seen Matt’s untidy scrawl on his arm in almost a year, and he has no idea if his soulmate is even still alive.

[Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)] [Soulmates and Soulmate Marks, WIP]

Save a Horse (But Also Spare the Cowboy) by Mytay (PG, 0.8k)
Summary: “Keith, did you just break out your Texas for me? Did you just make a space cowboy pun for me?”

“No. Also, the fact that bad jokes turn you on explains so much.”
[Space Cowboys]

Seven Minutes by LanceMcLame (PG, 2.2k)
Summary: Pidge never should have mentioned sleepovers to Allura.

That was the only thought in Lance’s mind right now, as he tried to make himself comfortable on the awkward nest of blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags. This was all Pidge’s fault. They’d offhandedly mentioned something about having a sleepover party once with their friends, and Allura had immediately picked up on the idea, insisting that it’d be “an excellent team-building opportunity”. And that was how the five Paladins of Voltron and the two Alteans had ended up building a sort of fort in the bridge of the Castle of Lions, and playing the most heinous game known to mankind.

Truth or Dare. [Team Bonding]

Your Love Has Shown Me Proof by freshia (PG, 22.4k)
Summary: “This situation is a bit more complicated than we initially realized.”

Lance raises an eyebrow, but Pidge is the one to question that. “Define complicated.”

Allura takes no more time beating around the bush, “Well, I received a transmission. Keith and Lance–from the future, that is–would like to have their daughter back.”

or: Lance and Keith deal with a walking spoiler, in the form of a little girl who just wants to get back to her own home. [Time Travel, Kid Fic]

dynamic by kagshina (PG, 13.5k, WIP)
Summary: “So, uh,” Keith starts, and Lance notices the way he shifts, like he’s not quite sure how to say what he wants to say. “How are we gonna…do this?”

Before answering the question, Lance makes a quick list in his head of things he should never do:
Ask the boy he has a huge crush on to be his fake boyfriend for the sake of proving a point (even if Lance thinks he’s going to say no, because apparently he might actually say yes!) [Fake/Pretend Relationship, WIP]

You stole a BABY?! by genericfanatic (PG, 24.3k)
Summary: The castle ship has a new stowaway, and Keith and Lance must figure out how to take care of them without alerting the rest of the crew. [Kid Fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition]

Rushing To Say Nothing by LynnLarsh (NC-17, 36.7k)
Summary: “What the hell was that?” Keith says, sounding strangely pissed. Probably jealous; whatever happened, Lance is a lucky son of a bitch and Keith knows it.

Coran clears his throat before answering, and when Lance finally pulls his eyes away from the crowd, that purplish blush from earlier has increased to a noticeable shade of violet across his cheeks. “It seems our boy Lance here has just been propositioned by the local brothel.”

A.k.a. That time Lance went into an alien brothel to prove a point and came out perhaps a little too enlightened.

The Little Things by fairietailed (G, 1.6k)
Summary: On Friday Hunk can hear the two of them behind him as they walk to the control room, and he swears he hears something akin to a kiss, and Keith whispering.

“That’s 10-7, Cargo Pilot. Try catching up.”

When Hunk turns around Lance is bright red, and there’s a foot of space between him and Keith.Or maybe he’s imagining things? [Secret Relationship]

Marital Mayhem by genello (PG, 26k, WIP)
Summary: Cornered by the Galra, Lance and Keith find shelter in a local temple. There’s just one problem—the natives seem to think the two of them are engaged. [Fake/Pretend Relationship, WIP]

Burning Love by TeaAndKittens (NC-17, 7k, WIP)
Summary: An injury sustained on the job for firefighter Keith means an extended medical leave that makes him feel useless and angry. He’s so desperate to get back to his crew at Station 5 that he’s almost willing to try anything - except yoga. Especially after Hunk calls this friend of his that owns a yoga studio and Keith gets supporting evidence for his claim that only crazy people practice yoga.

Somehow, despite all of that, Hunk and Shiro manage to bully him into at least trying it. He shows up for that first class expecting to hate it. What he’s not expecting is for Hunk’s friend to be hot like the fire of a thousand suns. Or even more insane in person.

Or: Keith’s life. So Hard. [Firefighter/Yoga Instructor AU, WIP]

if you’re ready by rhapsodyinpink (PG so far, 2k, WIP)
Summary: “Why was I wearing a wedding veil?” Lance asks, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“Oh wait..wait, shit! Shit! Did I marry a hot babe last night? Talk about a wild birthday!” Lance crows, waving his arms with glee.

“No,” says Keith. “You married me.”

In which the paladins visit Las Vegas for Lance’s 21st birthday, Keith and Lance get married, Allura goes missing, Pidge gets arrested, and Shiro goes to the spa. [Accidentally Married in Vegas - still in universe not au! WIP]

Dancing for Voltron and Follow My Lead by The_Sickfic_Sideblog (PG, 2k total)
Summary: Lance has a hidden talent. It’s not hidden for long. [Dance Skills Lance]

Seven Days by MilkTeaMiku (NR, 63.5k, Series)
Summary: The Galra has a new weapon that de-ages the Paladins into babies for a week. [De-aged/Kid Fic]

Thank God For Hometowns by merycula (thanksillpass) (PG, 6.5k)
Summary: Lance tells his grandparents that he has a boyfriend to get them off his back, and is forced to ask his neighbor Keith to pretend to date him when they come with a visit. [Fake Dating]

seeing him for the first time (again) by breadpoetsociety (G, 1.5k)
Summary: “Who are you?” Keith demanded, excitedly putting his free hand to his cheek. “What’s your name?”

“Eat the cracker, Keith.”

“Did god send you? Are you an angel?” Keith didn’t look very frightened as this concept of being dead worked its way out of him. Lance ran a hand through his own hair, smiling wryly.

“Please, eat the cracker, Keith.”

“What’s your name?” Keith’s voice cracked, desperately, excitedly. “Please. Who are you?”

“My name is Lance,” Lance paused, nerves sitting uncomfortably in the bottom of his stomach– deep, in the part he never searched. He licked his lips and ran a hand through his unwashed hair. “I’m, um, I’m your fiancé.” [Amnesia]

On Thin Ice 
by Minadora (R, 150k, WIP)
Summary: This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater. [Ice Hockey/Figure Skater AU]

swipe right [smut]

A;N: Things and people you meet are not always what they seem. 

Pairing: StilesxReader

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: Smut. 18+ Explicit Content.

Word count: .9,612

Listen to me.

Originally posted by stilinskisvoid

Keep reading

Dark Souls’ Kings And Lords

Gwyn: I will raise this son as a daughter and in general take a whole diarrhea on him regardless of his merits and accomplishments because he was born aligned to a different aspect than me. I will also disown my other son and erase any records of his identity and history. I embarked on genocide of dragons for possibly very shady reasons, and was fully on board with a dangerous project to recreate that which cannot be replicated, resulting in a catastrophic failure that mutated a wise and peaceful civilization into murderous beast. You are supposed to feel bad about having to kill me, as the sad piano that plays while we duke it out suggests.

King of Oolacile: Dude, what if we totally dabbled in the forbidden arts with our golden sorceries (read: utility spells) as our only back-up and tortured this ancient conglomeration of twisted existences that we revived just to satisfy our sick curiosity? That’d be RAD, I hope nothing about this bites us in the ass down the lane, am I right.

The Four Kings: Man, it was really a challenge, but we finally got this whole New Londo jimjam going strong and steady! *phone rings* GUYS, THIS SNAKE THAT ANTAGONIZES EVERYTHING WE STAND FOR PROMISES TO TEACH US THE 120% ILLEGAL ART OF LIFEDRAIN, LET’S ROLL, I MEAN, WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

King Vendrick: *playing the harmonica off-note in his shitty crypt* I married this really hot chick but she turned out to be, like, a literal aspect of darkness hell-bent on the obliteration of civilization, so, hey, whatevs, man, you gotta compromise in marriage, right? *takes a swig of a black label Johnnie Walker* she then was like “honey, you gotta murderize that entire civilization of peaceful giants”, so we did! It was GREAT, we lost over half of our population, I redefined the concept of “war crime”, it was mad cool, man, well, except for the part where I realized what I had done, engaged full pussy mode, and locked myself in a crypt, where I took to wandering naked and afraid while my bodyguard protects me, despite the fact that I am insanely strong and immortal and wise. WHATCHA GONNA DO *LIFTS ARMS IN MOCK SURRENDER* *LAUGH TRACK PLAYS*

Duke Tseldora: SPIDERS

The Sunken King: Whew! That took a LOT of time, but we finally did it! We built a whole city around this slumbering dragon, our object of worship! This is, in no way, a dangerous idea at all. You know what is also not dangerous? Why, those famed Dragonslayers coming over by yonder, the Drakeblood Knights, led by Sir Yorgh, famed Dragonslayer! Let’s see what they want!

Old Iron King: LOOK AT ALL THIS METAL, HOMIE. LOOK AT MY COOL ASS SAMURAI MAN TEACHING MY KNIGHTS TO BE SAMURAI, HOMIE. LOOK AT THIS BITCHIN’ FUCKIN’ FORMER DRANGLEIC KNIGHT, RAIME, WHO CAME TO SERVE ME, HOMIE. YEAH BABY, WE GOT IT ALL IN THE IRON KINGDOM, WE GOT THESE CROSS-CULTURAL SAMURAI KNIGHTS PIMPING UP THE PLACE WITH PLATE ARMOR AND IAI, MAN, AND WE– H-hold on, Alonne, baby? Where you going, man? Baby, no, I can change, I swear, please come back, baby, NO, BABY, ALONNE *SHANKS ALONNE* aw fiddlesticks well I guess my kingdom goes to fuck now ‘cause I will throw the biggest, meanest tantrum in the history of big diaper pissbabies LET’S GO

Ivory King: Hello! I love you! Yes, you! Whoever is reading this, I love you! I really do! And while I love you a lot, there’s someone I love even more, and that’s my beautiful wife, Alsanna! God, I love my wife, she’s so beautiful and kind and smart, I just want her to be happy forever. I know, she’s a literal aspect of darkness who came with evil intentions and zealous desire to raze my lands, but, I know that anyone, anyone, is capable of redemption, and my love has confirmed that. I love my wife, and I love my kingdom Eleum Loyce, my capable knights, my beautiful tigers, my kingdom of snow and peace! Wanna know a secret? I built my kingdom right on top of the Old Chaos to contain it, to keep it in check, so it wouldn’t rampage across the world. Ah, I’m really sad to have to cut this short, but my soul, well, it wavers. After so many years of fighting it, my very fabric is yielding to the overwhelming chaos. As an ultimate act of sacrifice, I will give myself to the Flame, contain the whole essence of the Old Chaos within my body, and keep it wrested to the ground, so it can never harm anyone evermore. I am glad to have met you, but I must go now. Please live a wonderful life! Shout out to my beautiful wife!

Yhorm the Giant: *hands you the one thing that can kill him* I AM HONESTLY TRYING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER, PLEASE TRUST ME. AND IF I GO COO-COO, USE THAT TO KILL ME, AND ALSO, I AM PUTTING AWAY MY GREATSHIELD SO IT IS EASIER TO HIT ME IN CASE I GO BAD, BUT PLEASE, I AM JUST TRYING TO BE GOOD, BRUSH YOUR SEATBELT AND FASTEN YOUR TEETH.

Oceiros, the Consumed King: *spams your Facebook feed with photos of his invisible baby*

Nameless King: Funny story, but I am actually not a king. Anyways, check out these delayed attacks and these FPS drops.

Prince Lothric: What If Stay Home Instead

hamilton + marriage proposal headcanons

masterlist

you had to know this one was coming next.

alexander

  • he does it in a public place of course
  • literally in the middle of the food court
  • it really wasnt safe to carry it in his pocket in the mall but. he did it anyway
  • he gets down on one knee
  • in the f o od court
  • and because of that you genuinely think hes just tying his shoe
  • who the fuck proposes in a food court surrounded by teenagers who might get wrong ideas and french fries
  • apparently alexander hamilton
  • so you’re looking around and waiting for him to finish 
  • and when you look back theres a box in his hand
  • and he… takes out a… folded up piece of paper…
  • ITS A POEM…….
  • and he READS IT OUT LOUD and its so CUTE but youre also SO EMBARRASSED because theres a part about how much he LOVES YOU IN BED
  • and after what felt like six hours he finally just says… “will you marry me?”
  • you hug him and pull him very close
  • (you mainly want him to shut up and for him to not talk about you in the nude in public anymore)
  • (he will ask you if it took too long. say yes. it was. he will then say “you know what else is long”)

john

  • this boy…
  • is so romantic…
  • he puts his heart into everything he does!!!
  • so he takes you to a little hillside in a park or in the countryside
  • and takes you for a picnic and everything is really nice
  • he packed all of your favourite foods and drinks and desserts and hes wearing a really nice white dress shirt and black pants
  • theres a little letter at the bottom of the basket he wants you to read
  • the dedication is really cute (”to the love of my life”)
  • but when you finish reading the letter… he is gone?
  • you are clearly very worried and you stand up and start looking around frantically 
  • and he is behind you and behind him is laf, alex, and herc
  • they’re all wearing…. matching outfits….
  • he starts s i n g ing and da nc ing
  • and when the song is finished he rushes over to you and gives you a big hug
  • and he keeps going
  • he gets down on one knee and has the BIGGEST, HAPPIEST GRIN ON HIS FRECKLED FACE 
  • and when he asks you to marry him
  • you’re probably blubbering and maybe crying because its so goddamn cute and hes so goddamn cute and hes like ”oh god did i do something wrong”
  • and you just shake your head and say yes, you do want to marry him
  • and the boys are in the background smiling, and sweating after all of the choreo they did
  • seriously. they’d been practicing for weeks.
  • (they said john even yelled at them once because he wanted it to be perfect)

lafayette

  • if there’s. ANYONE who is going to ask you to marry him in a restaurant
  • it’s lafayette.
  • he takes you out to a really fancy dinner
  • and you both dress up really nice
  • and you get what you swear to god is the nicest food you’ve ever eaten
  • and you laugh and smile and talk throughout dinner
  • but he seems… somewhat…. nervous and awkward
  • and he’s normally this smooth talking guy
  • and its… very suspicious
  • and its even MORE suspicious when he says he forgot his wallet and that you have to pay
  • and you’re like “…. alright???? …. i geuss?????”
  • he apologizes a lot, more than he ever has before
  • and when the bill comes in the lil wallet holder folder thing made of leather
  • and you start rummaging through your wallet for the money
  • he looks very panicked that you actually are going to pay
  • and he’s like “no no y/n please look in the folder thing please”
  • and you open it and tHERES A RING SITTING THERE ON TOP OF THE BILL
  • and he snatches it before you can do anything and proposes in front of everyone!!!
  • (you see a few waitresses cry)
  • (he repeats over and over that he doesn’t actually want you to pay)
  • (kiss him. he deserves it. he was so scared.)

hercules

  • you are completely alone when he proposes.
  • he just… does it in your living room?
  • he steps out of the bedroom and he has a shirt in his hands
  • and he’s quietly like “y/n i made this for you can you try it on?”
  • and you take it and somehow wrestle it onto your body
  • you don’t even know whats on it. you just look at him and tell him it fits
  • and he’s like “go look in the mirror and tell me if you like it”
  • and when you go to the bathroom and look in the mirror it says “will you marry me?” in big sparkly pink font
  • when you go back out hes wearing… a MATCHING SHIRT…
  • and he’s already down on one knee and you approach him
  • and he hits you with the pick up line he said when you first met
  • and you BURST into laughter
  • once you’ve calmed down he’s like “in all seriousness y/n… will you marry me?”
  • and when you say yes, he j u mp s up and tackles you onto the couch
  • (like it actually slightly hurt a little bit) 
  • and he’s very apologetic
  • and to make it up to you he starts kissing you everywhere he can reach
  • (he made the shirt very revealing… for a reason)

angelica

  • its going to be big.
  • its going to be very big because she has to live up to her own high standards that she and everyone else has set for herself
  • so she takes you to a really busy tourist destination
  • that you’ve probably been to a million times
  • and you’re like “ok nice can we go now angelica”
  • and she’s like hang on… i’m waiting for something
  • and when you’re probably starting to get really annoyed because you’ve been there for the longest time
  • music starts playing that wasn’t playing before
  • and its your favourite love song
  • (whatever genre, whatever artist, your favourite song is playing)
  • and you’re like wow angelica this is really funny huh? its my favourite song
  • and she gulps, really loudly, and takes you by the hands
  • and sits you down in a chair in the MIDDLE OF THE BUSY PART OF THE TOURIST DESTINATION THAT WASN’T THERE BEFORE
  • and peggy and eliza emerge from the crowd
  • and, for you, they sing the rest of your favourite love song with beautiful harmony and really cute and simple dance moves
  • and by the end everyone around you is clapping and you’re clapping but still you’re…. probably confused because… why did she serenade you in public
  • and angelica gets down on one knee
  • and she asks you to marry her in the most simple phrase
  • just straight up. “Will you marry me”
  • you stand up and nod
  • and when you say yes everyone EXPLODES
  • and everyone is cheering and clapping and she kisses you and you’re both laughing
  • (”was it good y/n” “yes angelica” “are you sure cuz if it wasn’t good then i can redo it” “angelica it was great” “are you satisfied” “ye s”)

eliza

  • the two of you are out for coffee and you both are having a good time
  • laughing and typing away at your laptops or doing work
  • and eliza excuses herself to go to the bathroom
  • and so you’re texting on your phone waiting for her to come back
  • when one of the baristas calls your name even though you didnt order another drink
  • but you go over and retrieve the cup that is apparently yours
  • and try to take a sip from it because like… free drink hell yeah
  • but theres…. nothing inside but this little hollow noise???
  • so with an eyebrow raised, you take off the lid, and there’s this… beautiful ring at the very bottom.
  • like, it probably shouldn’t be there because if someone got the wrong cup, they would not return it
  • you know the ring is for you and that it’s from eliza but you… can’t see her? 
  • even the barista seems confused?
  • and then she shyly emerges from the bathroom and is like “DO YOU LIKE IT Y/N” across the entire cafe
  • and you’re like… “yes eliza i love it”
  • and so she runs on over and takes the cup from your hands and pulls the ring out
  • and she doesnt get down on one knee but she does help you sit up on the counter top
  • and she’s like “you know what i love? you”
  • and then she proposes. and she’s blushy and really flushed and has the goofiest, sweetest smile suspended on her face and she talks about how helpless you make her feel 
  • and when you say yes, she does this lil dance and picks you up by the waist and spins you around
  • and then she realizes she can’t carry you because she is smol!!! so you climb down
  • and she slips the ring onto your finger and kisses you and she tastes like hot chocolate
  • and its… amazing

thomas

  • he just got back from a really long business trip
  • and hes been away for weeks
  • and when you go to pick him up at the airport
  • hes sweaty, and his hair is kind of flat, and he looks more exhausted than you’ve ever seen him
  • but he still looks so happy to see you
  • and when you guys are hugging, he whispers “what’d i miss” into your ear
  • (which is an ongoing joke between the two of you)
  • and you whisper “you missed me” in return
  • and you feel his smirk grow against your cheek
  • but when you finally pull away after about ten years of hugging
  • hes not smiling and he says, very seriously, “i never want to have to miss you that much ever again”
  • and he gets down on one knee and opens a small pocket of his suitcase
  • and pulls out a ring.
  • and he says this big long speech about how much he loves you
  • and how much he missed you
  • and every little thing about you he loves
  • (and backs it up with evidence)
  • eventually, he’s almost fallen asleep when he says, “will you marry me?”
  • and you get down so you’re level with him and you say “yes, thomas, i’ll marry you. now let’s go home”
  • (when he wakes up the next morning he double-checks to make sure you said yes)
  • (you say yes, you did say yes. “did you miss that thomas?”)

madison

  • lets face it.
  • this man probably wouldn’t go out of his way to propose
  • he loves you, of course, but you know that
  • and he knows that very much
  • and he doesnt feel the need to prove it to you with some big declaration?
  • (”i bet hamilton would do something lame like serenade you or read a poem, pssh”)
  • so you’re most likely in your bed just cuddling
  • and when you begin to pull away to get water or get changed, he looks over and just goes
  • “marry me?”
  • and you fall back into bed and tell him that you’d love to.
  • (he doesnt have the ring yet)
  • (he promises he will take you shopping when he’s not working)
  • (he works a lot)
  • (it will take a very long time to get your ring)
  • (he also doesnt want to go out when hes sick cuz he doesnt wanna cough all over really expensive rings)
  • (he apologizes profusely)
  • (tell him you love him anyway)
  • (and kiss him)

aaron

  • he is very shy
  • and has been carrying around the ring for months.
  • literally. months.
  • (he’s afraid you’re going to say no)
  • (like, very afraid you’re going to say no)
  • (he doesn’t put himself out like this a lot)
  • and hes also been waiting for the perfect moment!!
  • so one day you’re in a bookstore you both like
  • and amidst the stacks of books and paper
  • he gets down one on knee and is biting his lip because hes so nervous…
  • but he does it anyway!!! because he loves you!!! and really wants to marry you!!!
  • he wants it more than anything in his life!!!
  • he has a really!!! really cute and cliche speech about how much he loves you
  • talks about how beautiful you are every ten words
  • explains to you that you are the best thing in his life and never wants to lose you!!! but stutters his way through it
  • wants to put the ring on your finger while hes kneeling and… kisses your ring finger oh gosh…
  • he may… stay on the ground……. ???
  • (he wants you to either meet him on the ground or pull him up)
  • (pull him up by the collar and kiss him. he will smile so wide after)
  • (he might ask you later if it was romantic enough. tell him yes.)