i swear to cher!

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 5 – Fun Moving Time, Fun Drama Time

In which we meet Matt, Neil’s torso makes me break out in Deadpool quotes, super-secret safes are bought to contain super-secret journals, and Kevin has a choking kink.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

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ohemgeeitsb  asked:

Do you find it ironic that nothing in the song "Ironic" is, in fact, ironic?

Stfu and get out of my face Ben don’t bring your alanis hate around here again I swear to Cher

holy shit okay so im at disney and its like ten pm on the bus and we are all exhausted and half the people are standing but i got you babe comes on the radio and my mom starts singing and so does the grandma next to me then me and the lady across from us join in and the practically the whole bus had joined in on singing i got you babe as we drove through tthe dark and rainy streets and i swear that was disney magic.

Chapter 25

A few months later

Soft kisses on my collar bone was his  signature way of waking me out of my slumber. His long arm wrapping around my torso pulling me close, hand finding it’s way into my pajama shorts. Maybe, if I didn’t acknowledge it, he would give up and let me rest. Only if I could keep the moan so desperately trying to escape under wraps.

“Go back to sleep,” I grumbled shifting away from him.

“I can’t my dick too hard,” he said pulling me closer.

“Use your hand,” I huffed rolling away from him again.

“Come on, just a little quickie.”

“The lotion is by the tub.”

“Alright, then what about a little mouth action.”

“Imagine it.”

He smacked his lips, throwing his body down on his side of the bed. I could care less about his morning arousal, I had another hour to rest and I was going to get it.

Five minutes of silence went by before he shook me.

“So you seriously gone make me beat ny meat?”

“Will you leave me alone before I smother your bitch ass with one of these pillows,  damn.”

“Just sit on top of my dick while you do it.”

“Ugh,” I screamed in a pillow.

“The sooner you help me bust this nut, the sooner you can get back to sleep.”

“Just like a nigga. Always compromising some shit,” I said sitting up knowing he already won this battle.

“Silence that bullshit, now turn over and put a arch in it.”


Typical morning in this house. Elle screaming to the top of her lungs because she’s been placed in her playpen,  and I do the honors of cooking breakfast and cleaning up the mess she just made. All while Chris takes an hour long shower.

“So you just gone let her scream?” He asked walking into the kitchen stealing a piece of bacon.

“She’s being the brat that you created.”

“Dah-Dee,” she whined reaching her short arms out for him to come rescue her.

“Chris, if you take her out, you’re cleaning up after her,” I warned. He loved spoiling her and they both left me with the clean up.

Soon as he scooped her up in his arms,  she stopped the fake tears. I shook my head, at ten months this little hell raiser had become the master of manipulation. 

“You know she’s only going to get worse, if we don’t nip this in the bud now,” I said, while setting the table.

“No she ain’t. You be tripping. She’s a  baby and they tend to cry Kels.”

“No, she’s becoming the cry baby from hades. She’s accustomed to getting whatever she wants whenever she throws a tantrum. That has to cease before it’s time for her to enroll in daycare.”

“She’s going to be fine and daycare is out of the question,” he said watching her snatching dvd’s off the media center.

“So you’re going to watch her everyday while I work?”

“No, but aint no damn daycare doing it either.”

“Interesting, so who is going to keep an eye on her?”

“That’s what nannies are for.”

“No, she needs to learn how to be around children her own age.”

“Do you know how much shit happens in those daycare facilities. I’m not taking a chance.”

“Nannies can’t be trusted either.”

“You own the place, why can’t you take her to work with you.”

“It’s still minor construction taking place on the building and futher more, my office is a place of business, so no.”

“Well, I don’t know what you gone do, but daycare is out of the question.  Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged.”

He chuckled ignoring the fact that she had grabbed a bunch of markers from her art station.

“And take them damn markers out her hand before she go marking up my walls.”

Waldron inc.

The only way to get something in this life was to take it. In over a course of a year, I’d fallen victim to the stereotypical outlook on young mothers. I wasn’t married,  had no degrees under my belt, and no job.

What I did have was the tools to help others and skills to assist celebrities, since I’d worked with Chris for so long.

After furnishing my condo and paying up my rent for a while, I took the few thousand I had left and started a public relations agency.

It wasn’t much, but with dedication and time, I know that it will be a flourishing company.

“Kelsy, your sexy ass friend is here.” Vickie, my overly honest assistant said bursting into my office.

Looking up from my desktop computer, I sighed, “Professionalism Vick, can you do that for me?”

“My bad boss lady,” she said holding her hands up.

“Let him in and also you can take your lunch break.”

It didn’t take long before Vickie escorted Drake into my office.

“Wassup Jimmy, ” I said, calling him the character he played on Degressi.

“We hitting below the belt today I see,” he said laughing as we hugged.

“What brought you over to my neck of the woods?”

“I can’t come over and visit the crib anymore since your boyfriend is always there now.”

“Correction, that is not my boyfriend. ”

“Yall playing house like he is.”

“Don’t start with me today Aubrey. You dont see me calling your confused ass out. One day you all over Zoe Kravitz, the next you a trying to be the diamond in Rihanna’s sky. ”

“Good one, ok, I’ll let you have that.”

“So what’s up?”

“I called in a favor-”

“Drake, I told you not to-”

“Woman will you let me finish. So, I called in a favor, like your financial adviser explained,  you will need a lucrative backer on this business.”

“So,” I said, waiting to hear what this favor was.

“I got you an interview in New York, this weekend. ”

“That’s such short notice Aubrey. ”

“Look, I did what I could -”

“I told you to let me handle it.”

“Kels, you’re like my little sister, and you’re new to all of this. I’m not, look either you can take this meeting or not.”

I sat back in my chair playing with the pen I held, pondering on the offer.

“With whom is this meeting with.”

“They will like to remain confidential for now. I will assure you that it’s in your best interest to do a hell of a job marketing your business. ”


“That’s the only way this team will have it.”

It was true, my business was ok, but I needed great to attract clientele. With the budget after construction I would have very little to pay utilities and the few employees I did have.

“What if they don’t like me,” I mumbled racking my busy hair out of my face.

“Don’t give them a reason not to,” he slid the index card on my desk, “I gotta go. Hit me up later if you can.”

He wasn’t gone for a good two seconds before Vickie came invading my privacy yet again.

“So what was that about?” She questioned taking a seat on the edge of my desk.

“You minding your business.”

“From what I could hear outside the door, it sounded like talk of New York and something about confidential,  and Rihanna, then girl I got confused. I asked the construction men to keep it down so I could hear, but hell they don’t even speak English so what good was that.”

“You aren’t getting that lunch break time back, you know that right,” I said.

The distorted expression on her face was priceless.

“Further more, not that it’s any of your business, but I will be taking the weekend off.”

“Why?” She asked curiously.

Looking down at the index card and back at her I sighed, “because if you expect to continue to be paid for your services, I have to attend this meeting. ”

2 weeks later

Kim went on and on about Kanye,  the couture wardrobe North is being sent,  and the infamous wedding awaiting to take place.

Chyna sat and soaking up every single word, even giving her feedback or ideas, I just really could care less.

The two of them sat like two little barbies, in a perfect world, the most stress on their plates was were the next vacation should take place.

I picked at my expensively dry salad, rolling my eyes at the conversation. If I didn’t know any better I would swear I was having lunch with Dionne and Cher.

Everything in my life at this moment was chaotic. So excuse the hell out of me if listening to this nonsense was sending me into a premature death. 

I’m sure it’s safe to say that I blew the meeting of a lifetime, tracking down Christopher and making sure he was back at the center on time, which was not my responsibility.  He kept getting these authorized visits, but kept fucking up and we all know who always cleans it up for him, me.

Lyric was truly the worse ten month old baby I had ever laid eyes on. It’s hard trying to be a working mother who gets to bed late turning around to be up  before the sun, and the routine repeats.

Right now, as I waste my time at lunch with the air head’s I call friends, my eyes kept drifting to my phone. Chris was out on a authorized outing with Elle, that wasn’t an issue, where the problem came was if he was actually obeying his court orders.

I had to rush across town to use my resources a couple of times to get some Niacin pills to help flush out his system, because he wanted to get high with the homies and kick it.

Lately, it’s been a lot on my plate.

“So how’s things going with Chris?” Chyna asked,  attention now on me.

“Things are going, ” I replied sarcastically.

Kim and her exchanged glances, “Hun, I wasn’t trying to be all in your business.  You just don’t seem like yourself that’s all,” Chyna said, before taking a sip of her lemongrass smoothie.

“Chris is fine, he’s actually excelling rapidly in rehab. I’m just a little stressed out about my business that’s all,” I lied.

They both bought it, agreeing that taking on a business was tough stuff. Just like that I’d eased out of the spotlight and back into my personal dwellings.


Kicking my feet up on the table, I watched as Karrueche vacuumed the floor, and checked up on my twitter account.  Shit was crazy in that place man, they was constantly trying to keep a nigga away from the real world.

I’m not the kinda guy who can be told what to do. I’m the captain of my ship, them niggas just sailor’s. 

Karrueche had just laid Elle down for a nap after she created a little portrait on the wall with the markers. By the time she’s ten she’ll be spray painting like her dad.

“Babe, do you want me to come back later and take you back to the facility?” Kae asked as she wrapped up the cord on the side of the vacuum.

“Ugh, naw, ima have wackstar ass take me.” I lied because Kelsy would raise all kind of hell if she knew I was still messing with Kae, and Kae thought I was just here to spend time with my baby.

She sat next to me pouting a little. Wrapping my arm around her, I pulled her close.

“Give me a kiss,” I said making her smile.

Who said you can’t have the cake and a back up too?


I’d pulled up to my building over an hour ago, but I sat in the car letting my mind wonder in silence.

My business was failing and that was the only income I had coming in. The location wasn’t the best, and with each problem that was being fixed another would arise. On my way home the contractor called and said that we the building had underlining mold growing between the walls.

I purchased a money pit. More cash was being invested quicker than I could make it. With no real money making clients, the doors to Waldron Inc. would soon be closing for good.


My phone rang snapping me out of my thoughts. I didn’t want to answer, but I did. Hopefully it could be a miracle on the other end.

No such luck, just another bill collector. 

While I’m on the line arguing about an outstanding credit card balance,  I happen to see the last person on earth that I wanted to cross paths with, exiting my building. 

I hung up the phone mid-sentence and all. My gut told me exactly where she was leaving from, my feelings hoped for the best.


My intuition never failed, she wasn’t even fully across the parking lot when he came jogging after her with what im guessing was her phone. They hugged, shared a kiss, and went separate ways.

It took everything in me not to start my car and run him over, but I didn’t want to confront it. I watched her speed pass me without any care in the world, while I sat and felt like the biggest fool.


I walked around the condo doing damage control before Kelsy came home and had any suspicion that a female was in the crib.

I heard the door open and close.

“Kels?” I yelled out.

The response…..nothing.

I quickly maneuvered towards the living room, to see her standing there in a trance.

“Get out,” she said in a low growl.

I frowned my face, looking at her like she had three heads.


“You had that bitch in my house,” she screamed,  “ around my child.”

The lamp she tossed at me was three centimeters away from my head shattering against the wall.

“What the fuck,” I said shocked that she was tripping like this.

“Get the fuck out my house!”

Picking up one of Elle’s big wheel’s, again she tossed it at me, trying to knock my head off my shoulders.

“Kels, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You! You’re what’s wrong with me. So how long did you think you could get away with fucking the both of us?” She screamed showing every vain in her body.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied.

“Oh okay,” she said harshly stomping pass me with an attitude. 

“Maybe this will make you remember, ” she yelled, turning the corner with a steel baseball bat, swinging in my direction.

“Chill man,” I yelled dodging her at all cost.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

This bitch had turned into the exorcist, before my own eyes.

“Kels lets-” I was cut off by her giving me a hard hit to the rib cage.

“Pussy ass nigga! You got five seconds to see yourself out before I call the muthafucking cops.”

Elle was in her room screaming at this point, but we were having a deadly stare down.

“I hate you. You ruined my life. Your karma is coming just wait on it,” she said.