i swear this was for science

Imagine aliens reacting to human eating habits.

For instance, taste. Like, one day an alien notices the human crew member dumping something bright orange on their midday ration.

Alien: Does your supplement not have the right nutrients/?
Human: No, it just tastes bad.
Alien: ????
Human: Well, not precisely bad, but bland. It’s boring. So I thought I’d spice it up a bit. *waves bottle of bright orange substance*
Alien: You add items to your food that provide no necessary sustenance???
Human: Oh, just wait ‘til you hear about junk food.

‘Cause humans eat stuff that is not good just for the sensation. Like really spicy foods, chewing gum, and all these spices. And the aliens don’t get it. You put that in your body? Doesn’t that mess up your digestive system? What purpose does it serve?

Or human eating rituals. If you eat with one group of humans there are all of these utensils, some of which look extremely similar, but each with it’s own unique purpose. And if you don’t use the right one at the right time it’s a social faux pas. Then another group mostly uses their hands and lick their fingers. Does this not introduce pathogens? And you’ll see the same human doing both behaviors.

And there’s the whole concept of a meal as a social endeavor. Humans will have a meal with those they are close with as a sign of affection. Humans don’t even spend the entire meal eating, no they use it to talk. Business is done, friends catch up, families share news. All over a meal.

Aliens considering food a necessity not to be discussed in public. Yet here are these humans, who post pictures of their food to social media, share recipes, use food as a social catalyst, and as comfort. Hell, comfort food as a completely human idea that aliens don’t understand.

Anyway, humans are weird.

strejdaking  asked:

What do you consider to be some interesting modern takes on classic fantasy races? Perhaps some you have some ideas yourself? I read in Elder Scrolls, High Elves are basically Nazi Germany.

  • After unleashing one too many buried evils, the dwarves said “bugger this” and moved as far away from the Underdark as possible. Their entire civilisation now occupies a swarm of small space stations in high Earth orbit. 90% of them work in material science and telecommunications.
  • Gnome society has become steadily more obsessed with concealment and illusions until, in the present day, most gnomes use illusory disguises full-time to masquerade as members of other races. Almost everyone knows at least one gnome; almost no-one is aware of it.
  • Though halflings have a reputation as drugged-out savants, the truth of the matter is that their pharmacological science is incredibly advanced, particularly in the area of cognitive and empathic performance enhancement. At any given time, your average halfling is under the influence of a complex brew of brain-boosting drugs (which only work for halflings); there are fewer side effects than you’d think.
  • Orcish culture’s preoccupation with violent spectacle has evolved into an unstoppable entertainment industry. The largest orcish nation is also the global centre of production for big-budget summer blockbusters; orcish martial arts musicals are particularly popular among other races. Most orcs at least casually practice some sort of performance art, though some resent the expectation that they should.
  • Elves are hardcore gamers. All of them. It’s the cornerstone of their civilisation. Elvish video games tend to be unfathomably abstruse, unimaginably difficult, or both; being into “elf games” is regarded as a mark of refinement, though in truth most non-elves don’t really understand them.

anonymous asked:

I love the CEO!Kara AU's. Like Kara stayed involved in sciences to feel closer to her parents on earth and now she has a tech company. Cause it's HC for me that Kara is extremely intelligent, even if you think about flying she needs to be able to calculate how much she needs to decelerate to not put massive holes in the ground when landing. But the ones I've found have made Kara OCC(like Lord's personality almost), but what if she was still just Sunny Danvers? That would be cooler to me.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?!!

Kara coming into work in the mornings and her assistant (she always used to go through assistants rather quickly because she works to find out what their passion is and then promotes them, but finally; this retired grandma decides she wants to go back to work so she becomes Kara’s assistant and they just really hit it off.) so she comes in and Sheila hands her her coffee and Kara asks about the grandkids. And Sheila totally knows that Kara is Supergirl - figured it out on the first day -  and she covers for her whenever she needs to leave suddenly and makes sure no one else gets suspicious.

All of her employees love her, but they have a healthy respect for her because they all know that she has a tendency to crush expensive office equipment when she gets upset, and if she can do that on ACCIDENT then they never want to see her tear into something on purpose.

So when Lena moves L-Corp to National City, she makes the rounds to all the major CEO’s and of course Kara is one of them and she expects Kara to be just like the rest - super judgy and snarky, but Kara is super nice and welcoming, and Lena just has like an instant crush because no one has ever just been nice to her before - but she’s still wary because surely Kara must have some ulterior motive. 

Then Kara shows up with lunch at Lena’s office a few days later and Lena is just like WTF? And Kara explains that she thought Lena might need a friend in this town because she’s read the papers and all the mean things they have to say about Lena. And then they just talk about tech stuff and Lena is kinda surprised that the most powerful CEO in National City has such a high level knowledge of proton deflectors and so when Kara invites her to game night, she accidentally agrees. Like, oops?

Not that she’s complaining.

classysharkbarbarian  asked:

I would die for your headcannons how are YOU SO GOOD AT MAKING THEM

*finger guns* i spend most of my waking hours consuming memes my guy

  • keith: “shiro… told me to lead voltron” hunk: “galra keith, i’m glad you discovered your sense of humor but now is not the time for jokes”
  • coran was altea’s bill nye
    • but like. more ripped
    • had a series of informational videos that covered basically anything slightly educational. was sleeveless in every single one
    • he was the Science Guy
  • lance insists upon the use of space rock paper scissors to solve disputes. it’s exactly like normal rock paper scissors but the rock is a space rock
  • they refer to keith’s shack as the “love shack, baby love shack”
  • slav: *breathes* shiro, under his breath: “patience yields focus patience yields focus patience yields focus-”
  • they ditch kaltenecker on the first planet with aliens that’ll take him
    • lance argues against this decision vehemently
    • “but allura we can’t get rid of him!! he reminds keith of home” “lance if you tell another texas joke i swear to god-”
  • lance’s Mermaid Thing conversation w hunk was 1% “wow mermaids are hot” and 99% “i wanna be a mermaid”
  • pidge: “why do you guys have british accents” allura: “what’s a british”

one of my pcs is playing a homebrew race that can cast detect thoughts at any time as a racial ability. she does it so much ive started playing music on youtube for when she tries it on a creature thats intelligence is too low or doesnt speak any language. im sending them through a science/magic lab to find/calm/kill a rampaging chimera when she stumbles upon a hamster in a cage. 

her: “i detect thoughts on the hamster”

me: “alright” [pulling up hamster dance on yt]

her: “it better not be the fucking hamster dance or i swear to god”

the hamster ended up being given to the fighter who discovered that it is immortal and has healing powers

Science Partners (Peter Parker x Reader) - Part 1

A/N: With all of the Homecoming hype, I figured I would write another little thing about our cute web-slinger. Enjoy!! xx

Warnings: cute, cute, cuTE, and the cheesiest of tropes

PART 2  PART 3  PART 4  PART 5  PART 6

Originally posted by jessikaort

It was a new year. A new year of hell. Peter always did fairly well in his classes, especially his science classes, but he still hated the idea of being invisible as he navigated the crowds of hormonal teenagers. He also hated listening to guys and girls complain about broken phones when he had to worry about broken bones as he kept the streets safe. 

He didn’t hate school quite as much, however, when he walked into chemistry and saw you. You were a new student and you sat perched on a stool, alone at a back table. Your hair shone in the sunlight that streaked through the classroom window. Peter would swear that your eyes glittered like (Y/E/C) jewels when your eyes met his. You flashed him a shy smile before looking away. It was only for a moment but Peter was undeniably head-over-heels. 

“Parker,” the teacher barked. Peter snapped his head to look at the teacher. He gripped the strap of his backpack nervously. “It is nice of you to finally join us. For the rest of the year, I think it would be kind to your new science partner that you arrive on time.” The teacher gestured to you with one liver-spotted hand. 

Peter’s heart leaped into his throat as he willed his feet to move towards you. He placed his bag down with a thud and nervously took the stool next to you. “I’m (Y/N),” you whispered, tapping his shoulder lightly. 

“I’m Peter!” he blurted out as the teacher was going over the syllabus. His face went as red as a tomato and a few students snickered. The teacher shot him a threatening glare before continuing. You smiled and giggled lightly, pink creeping up your cheeks. 

The entire hour, Peter kept stealing glances at you. Everything about you was perfect. The shape of your lips, the color of your eyes, the rise of your cheek bones, the curve of your nose. An oral pop quiz was given and Peter was impressed by your intelligence. You raised your hand for almost every question and every time you were right. 

Every now and then you would catch Peter staring. Your heartbeat was rapid the entire class period. His chocolaty brown gaze made your breath hitch and your stomach flutter. When he wasn’t looking, you would also steal glances. His jaw clenched in concentration. His messy hair fluttered in his eyes. His surprisingly defined arms and chest moved gracefully under his sweater. 

Towards the end of class, the teacher handed out a list of various labs you could choose from to get yourself acquainted with the lab. You looked over the purple paper and looked up at Peter who was staring directly at you. His chin was propped up on his hand and he had a dazed smile on his face. “So, um, Peter, what do you think?” you asked.

“I think you’re amazing,” he mumbled. His eyes grew wide as he realized what he said. You looked away, hoping to hide the intense blush on your cheeks. “I.. I mean no, well, yes, you are, but I, uh…” You could say that Peter was saved by the bell, for the high pitched school bell began to ring and Peter was out the door before anyone else. You stared at the empty stool and your shoulders drooped a little. This was going to be an interesting year. 

Peter made his way to the lunch room, trying to block out the embarrassing image of him making a fool of himself. He somberly waited in line for his lunch and then took his usual seat with his friend, Ned. “New year, dude. New year means new girls,” Ned said, nudging Peter’s shoulder. Peter just slowly shook his head, staring down at his grease soaked pizza. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I met the new girl,” Peter mumbled. 

“Dude, tell me about her! Is she that bad that so you’re like this now?”

Peter shook his head once more. “No, Ned. She’s astounding. She’s so intelligent and she made this really funny joke in class and her face… Ned, her face. She’s the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. And she’s my science partner..” Peter went on and on with great enthusiasm about you. Ned encouraged it. 

You walked into the lunch room, gripping your bagged lunch and looking around nervously. You finally found who you were looking for and made a bee-line for the table. “And Ned, her shirt fit in all of the right…”

“Um, Peter?” you interrupted nervously, standing behind him as Ned eyed you humorously. You saw his shoulders tense and his ostentatious hand gestures freeze in mid-air. He slowly turned in his seat and looked up at you. “You forgot this in chemistry,” you held up the hand not holding your lunch to show Peter’s backpack. 

He gingerly took the bag from you, his fingertips brushing against your hand. You would laugh at yourself later but you could have sworn you felt sparks when his hand touched yours. “Thank you,” he mumbled, looking into your eyes. You could feel a heat creeping up your neck and you gripped your lunch nervously.

“Would you like to sit with us?” Ned piped up, breaking your attention away from Peter’s gold-flecked eyes. 

You flashed him a smile, and nodded. “Yes, thank you,” you stammered. 

“You wouldn’t mind, Pete, right?” Ned winked at him. 

“Not… Not at all,” Peter said, scooting over so you could sit next to him. You made yourself comfortable as you slid in next to your cute new lab partner. Your shoulders brushed together and Peter cleared his throat. 

“So, (Y/N), I’m Ned. Peter has told me a lot about you.” Peter angrily took a bite out of his pizza. You giggled shyly and began unpacking your lunch. “Peter here is very good at chemistry with other people, just so you know.” The boy in question let out a very angry sigh, his jaw clenching. You bit your lip and saw that Ned was playing wing-man. 

“Is he now?” you asked, sounding intrigued. “Maybe you could show me a thing or two… In the lab, of course.” Peter perked up but continued to stare down at his food. 

“So, (Y/N), have you ever studied anatomy?” Ned asked, waggling his eyebrows at you and nodding towards Peter. You suppressed a giggle as you felt Peter kick him under the table. 

You made sure to flutter your eyelashes a little as you looked sideways at the very embarrassed boy and said, “The human body happens to be a.. main interest of mine.”

Peter almost choked on his milk and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Ned roared with laughter and Peter was once again bright red. “He’ll get this flirting thing down eventually,” Ned said through fits of laughter, patting your hand reassuringly. “So, where ya from?”

Ned made pleasant conversation the rest of the lunch period and Peter gradually came out of his shell. You could tell that you would become fast friends with the two boys and your feelings for Peter had already begun to take root. Peter, at one point, even attempted a pick-up line. 

“What lab were you thinking of doing?” you asked Peter. 

“Well,” he began, puffing out his chest and looking at you through half-lidded eyes, “I was thinking we could mix copper and tellurium because you’re CuTe.”

“Impressive, Peter,” you said with a giggle. He looked very proud of himself for the “effectiveness” of his flirting. The lunch bell rang and all three of you stood up to leave. “Well, I’ll see you in gym, Peter. See you tomorrow, Ned!” you shouted over your shoulder. 

“Gym, huh? You guys can be gym partners! You can help her with her squats, spot that a… ouch, dude!” Peter punched Ned’s shoulder as he was talking. Peter watched you walk away, a soft smile on his face. You glanced once more over your shoulder and flashed a gorgeous smile at Peter. Peter was not going to hate school at all this year. 


A/N: This ended up a little longer than I expected. Also, this is set up perfectly to become a series! What do you guys think? Would you want that? Let me know and send in requests!! xx

Leave Me Breathless

Originally posted by kevinkeller


Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Request: “68 & 73 with Zach Dempsey?? If just one number than just 68 :,) <3.”

Prompt:

68. “Your girlfriend would hate me even more.”
73. “Where did you get that hickey?”

Word count: 1.695

Posted: 09th of May 2017

A/N: This is the first request that I got for my personal prompt list and I must say that I had fun on writing this. These prompts helped me to write these requests faster. In fact, I already have another two drafts from my prompt requests. I am so excited to write them all and there are still some numbers left, so don’t hesitate to request. Thank you for this request and for the others that I received.

P.S.: I am not accepting part 2 requests as I have more than 50 prompts to write. I am so sorry.

- G. x

Link: Prompt list

Warning: slightly swearing, betraying


“Hey (Y/N)!” Your best friend Zach softly greeted you as he entered the school library. He put his backpack on the large desk in front of him and took the seat beside you.

“Wow, Zachary Dempsey in the library!” You mocked while you were poking him with your pen. “Tell me, you need to meet your girlfriend here, right?”

“Uhm,” He scratched his head with a wide I’m-in-a-trouble smile. “yup.”

“I noticed.” You smiled at him, but quickly looked away as you continued writing for your Science test for the next hour.

“Did you skip History class to study?” He asked, even though he was just stating the obvious. Zach knew your timetable, although the only class you had together was Peer Communications.

“I thought it was already obvious.” You flashed him your judging face and he rolled his eyes in response. You giggled softly and Zach just huffed.

You’ve always liked Zach, but you never had the guts to tell him the truth. You were so insecure of yourself and you were afraid that he would never love you back. In fact, it broke your heart when he announced you that he started to date Meghan, one of the cheerleaders at Liberty High.

You were thankful though, because your relationship with Zach didn’t change, not even a tittle, or maybe some little things changed.

You’ve always had that more than best friends but less than lovers relationship with Zach and you were both okay with that. In fact, it never bothered you to kiss him during one of your friends’ house parties. Sometimes he would even tell you some sexual jokes, but you never pushed further than a passionate and deep French kiss. Of course, this thing has changed, because he was already dating someone and it wasn’t the right thing to cheat on his girlfriend.

“Hey, are you okay?” Zach called for your attention by waving his hand in front of you and you harshly shook your head to forget your thoughts about your best friend. You felt your cheeks burning at the thought of kissing Zach and you knew that he noticed your bright red face.

“Oh, yup.” You flashed him a sweet smile, but then you decided to stand up and head to the shelves, where Science books were located, to hide your blushing cheeks. You looked for a book that might be handy during your test and you freely released your tensed sensation.

You looked for some books while you wished that Zach didn’t follow you so you could calm yourself down.

“What the fuck!?” You loudly exclaimed as you held your chest for the shock. You saw Zach standing behind the shelves, leaning on the candid and cold wall of the library as he observed you.

“Shush!” You heard someone shouting from afar and you assumed that it was the old librarian, who sat on her computer desk near the entrance of the library.

“Sorry.” You and Zach said in unison and you slapped him using a thick textbook that you had in your hand.

“I didn’t mean to, sorry.” Zach whispered and you rolled your eyes as you stopped hitting him with the book.

“Fine.” You softly said and you decided to walk back to your place, but Zach stopped you as he held your forearm firmly. “What?”

“I miss you.” He sincerely said as you looked at your forearm, wrapped with Zach’s big hand. You knew what he meant and you obviously felt the same.

“Zach,” You pulled your forearm back and his hand fell in his side. You put the book back to the shelf as you tried to clear things with Zach. “you know that we can’t do those things, anymore.”

“I know, but I miss your lips. I miss your kisses.” He sadly confessed. He didn’t want to be a treacherous boyfriend, but the feeling was stronger than he was. He missed you a lot and the weight he had in his chest surely didn’t help him to forget your kisses. “I miss you, (Y/N).”

“Zach, I don’t want to betray people.” You looked at him and you read what his brown eyes tried to tell you. He was surely sad and he had this feeling that he was about to lose you because of the presence of his actual girlfriend. “She doesn’t deserve this.”

“I know, no one deserves this,” He unleashed a long deep sigh and he pulled you closer to him. “but I love you, (Y/N). I love you and not Meg.”

“Zach, this is so wrong. I love you too, but this is about lacking respect for someone.” You insisted, but Zach didn’t listen to you. You confessed your feelings and you were shocked for what he has just said to you, but that wasn’t the most important thing during that moment. You were about to betray someone and you couldn’t stand that feeling.

You were about to open your mouth to say something else, to start a debate between you and Zach but you suddenly felt his soft red lips on yours.

You were shocked at first, but you could never lie to yourself. You missed Zach’s kisses too and you longed for his lips every time you would see him with his girlfriend. You would always wish that he was your boyfriend.

The kiss became passionate when you responded back to his movements. He gently pushed you against the wall, behind some book shelves so people wouldn’t have the chance to see you. He held your hips tightly and you wrapped your arms around his neck, slightly tiptoeing because of your height difference.

The kiss wasn’t just a normal kiss. It was one of those breathtaking kisses, those kisses that could leave you breathless.

“Zach!” You shouted whispering as you broke the kiss. The reality sank in your mind and you felt disgusting, realizing what you were doing. You slowly unwrapped your arms from his neck as you panted for the deep kiss that you just had. “Your girlfriend would hate me even more.

“She will never know, (Y/N).” He leant in once again and he started to kiss your forehead, your temples, your cheeks and he went down to kiss your neck. He left some wet kisses on it and you wanted him to stop, but something suddenly took your voice away. Instead of barricading him, you pushed him closer to your neck and pulled his soft black hair.

You let him do what he had in his mind and you encouraged him to keep on doing it as you felt him sucking your neck hardly. You slightly let out a soft moan, it was so soft that only Zach could hear it.

It felt great, breathless just like the kiss before, but it was a little bit pungent and painful too. He bit your neck and continued marking your neck as if it was his own territory.

“Zach?” Your eyes shot open as you heard Meghan’s voice and you slightly pushed Zach away. The tranquil paradise that you were imagining has been changed by the loud and deafening shouts of hell.

Zach rolled his eyes and huffed against your skin. His hot breath sent shivers down your spine and you smiled at him. He caressed the love bite that he has just left and he smirked at you.

“Idiot.” You shook your head and you tiptoed to give him a quick peck on his lips. He was shocked, but then smiled at you. You liked what you did, although you felt horrible. You really felt horrible.

“Naughty.” He whispered and you winked at him. You made your way back through the shelves and grabbed the book that you were holding before the things between you and Zach happened.

“Hey Meg!” You cheerfully greeted as you saw her walking on the same aisle you were in. “What’s up?”

“Hey (Y/N)!” She pulled a fake smile as she greeted you. She has always hated you since she discovered that you were Zach’s best friend. It was great, wasn’t it? “Did you see Zach? His things were on the table.”

“Yeah, he was searching for something before but then I lost him.” You raised your shoulders as you lied through your teeth. You felt bad, of course, but you would never want Zach to be in a great trouble with her.

“OMG,” Her eyes grew wide as she didn’t mind your answer and you noticed that her gaze fell on your neck. “Where did you get that hickey?

“Oh, this?” You pretended that you didn’t know what she was talking about at first, but then you pointed at the love bite that you had on your neck. Your eyes grew wide as you peeked at it and it revealed you the reddish purple colour of it, almost scarlet.

“Yes!” She smirked at you, obviously not knowing from who it was, you honestly felt sorry for the innocent girl during that moment. You saw Zach walk near the two of you, leaving a little bit of space between him and Meghan.

“Just a weekend fling, nothing much.” You sugarcoated your lies with a sweet smile and you turned your head to Zach. “Oh, look. He’s here.”

“Oh, I noticed.” She nodded and smiled at you. Zach didn’t seem so excited to see his girlfriend, but it wasn’t one of your businesses.

“See you around guys!” You looked at Zach and you flashed him a naughty smirk. You noticed that he giggled a little bit and you winked at him, Meghan obliviously stood few steps away from Zach, thinking that you were teasing Zach with her.

“See you, (Y/N)!” They softly said in unison and you started to walk back to your place, packing up your things and you headed to the librarian to borrow the book that you needed.

You smiled at the thought of the kiss that you shared with Zach, but a knot was built in your stomach as soon as the thought of betraying his girlfriend sank in your mind.

How was the kiss? It was incredibly great. What might happen after? It would be plausibly terrible.