i swear this is just the beginning of her acting career

anonymous asked:

I've never seen this discussed, but I was thinking about how the Winter Soldier is a legend and a ghost, always concealed. Yet they sent him after the Starks unmasked. I guess they knew Howard would recognize him and they wanted that, but it still seems a weird thing to do. With Steve it's obvious, they knew it gave WS the advantage because Cap didn't want to kill him, but the Starks hardly seemed a threat. Sure it was psychological, but what was the point if they die fast? Got meta?

Okay, so, I really need to organize my meta. Because I swear I’ve read at least one meta post that talks about the mask and the inconsistency of its use throughout the movies. But I have almost forty pages of meta on my blog and I can’t seem to find it. I may not have reblogged it, in which case I fear it’s lost to the depths of Tumblr. (Can anyone help with this?)

For lack of resources to point you to, anon, let me ramble a bit and see if anything comes out of it.

From a storytelling standpoint, the mask is primarily for us, the viewers, so that we can have a dramatic identity reveal in Winter Soldier.

Or, really, I should say the mask is primarily for Steve because I think pretty much everyone in the audience knew the Winter Soldier was Bucky all along. Losing the mask simply confirmed it. However, the audience wants to see Steve have the revelation for himself, the moment of recognition. (And to this day that moment remains one of my favorite scenes in the entirety of the MCU. It was beautifully staged, and perfectly acted. Chris Evans emoted so much fear/hope/disbelief in one whispered, “Bucky?” and then Sebastian Stan contrasted that painfully with his flat reply, “Who the hell is Bucky?” I could go on about that exchange for ages.)

After that, the mask isn’t really needed. It served its purpose for the dramatic reveal and the story kind of… forgets it. 

Wouldn’t it have been great to have Steve in Civil War realize, “Oh! That guy who bombed the UN? He isn’t wearing a mask and Bucky definitely knew to wear a mask to hide his identity when he was dismantling governments and destroying world order, so that’s probably not him.” 

Give your old pal some credit, Steve. Sheesh. He was a professional sniper and knew how to be sneaky even before Hydra caught him. There’s a reason you haven’t been able to find him for the last two years. 

But I digress. 

Ostensibly the reason Bucky doesn’t have the mask for Civil War is again for the sake of storytelling. We need Howard to recognize him and say his name and for the Winter Soldier to look straight into the security feed so there’s no doubt whatsoever that James Buchanan Barnes, Steve Rogers’ best friend, killed Tony’s parents. That makes it possible for Tony to react immediately, without having to pause to question whether or not it’s actually Bucky (it thus prevents Tony from thinking things through and reacting with a clearer head). It serves the heat of the storytelling more than it serves a common sense, fully developed backstory for the use of the mask. 

I mean, we could say that Howard’s death is the inciting incident that makes the mask necessary. The Winter Soldier was both recognized and caught on camera on the night of December 16, 1991. It was apparently a big enough deal that detailed Hydra records led Zemo to seek out that specific tape, sight unseen, knowing without a doubt the rift it would cause between Steve and Tony. 

I wonder how much trouble the Winter Soldier’s handlers had to go through to get that security tape into their hands? (Because please imagine them freaking out about Peggy Carter finding out Bucky was still alive and a brainwashed captive of Hydra. She may have been getting on in years, but I have no doubt Hydra operatives were still actively terrified of her. She was there when Steve vowed revenge for Bucky. Steve died to avenge Bucky. There’s no way she wouldn’t take it personally if she found out Bucky was still alive. Same goes for the rest of the Howling Commandos.)

That being said, it seems kind of silly for Hydra to make that realization so late into the game. Even petty thieves know well enough to obscure their identities. 

So, we could say Howard’s death is the inciting incident, but it doesn’t make much sense if it was. Because that leaves about forty-odd years where the Winter Soldier was operating without a mask. And the chance he’d be recognized by former friends and family was a lot higher earlier on in his “career.”

At one point in the past—there’s no way to know if it was before or after Howard’s death—the Winter Soldier was photographed with his mask on. In Winter Solider, computer-incarnated Zola shuffles through a series of historical images, including this one. 

It’s hard to tell for sure, but the Winter Soldier seems to be wearing the mask here. Of course, the irony is that the arm and the star make him 100% identifiable. The difference being the arm identifies him as a weapon and an agent of Hydra, not as a person with a name and a history of his own. It doesn’t particularly matter if anyone sees the arm and, in fact, adds to the chilling mythos of the ghost story. Regular men don’t have metal arms. Monsters without faces have metal arms.

The mask obscures Bucky’s identity and it dehumanizes him. (It’s also an inverse of Captain America’s helmet, which I think is simply brilliant costuming.) Not only does it serve a practical purpose in keeping anyone from knowing who he is, it furthers Hydra’s subtle fear tactics by making the arm the Winter Solider’s identifying mark. Hydra had every reason to want to use the mask from the very beginning. 

If we try to make sense of the use of the mask in the context of the marvel universe, without breaking the fourth wall, and setting aside its presence (or lack thereof) as an obvious function of targeted storytelling goals, I think we’re only left with two options: Either Hydra deliberately sent the Winter Soldier after the Starks without a mask, or Bucky took the mask off himself. 

Bucky’s not really giving us any clues here, so…

Reasons Hydra might want to unmask the Winter Soldier, knowing he’d be recognized: 1.) To throw Howard off, just in case he was armed. The man built weapons for a living. It’s not unreasonable to assume he might be armed with something that could kill a super soldier. But if that super soldier was a former friend and ally? He might be less likely to defend himself and less likely to attack, thus giving the Winter Soldier room to maneuver. 2.) Sheer pettiness. Wanting to gloat. Letting Howard know with his dying breath that Hydra was still alive and well and that his obsessive work on duplicating the super soldier serum wasn’t going to create another Captain America, but something much worse. 

Reasons Bucky might have taken the mask off: Depending on how long he was out of cryo, his memories could have been coming back. Some part of him could have remembered the name of his target and he might have wanted to be identified—either to be saved or punished. But the programming was still enough in control that he couldn’t stop himself from completing the mission. 

Those are my best guesses, at least. I doubt Marvel’s creative team has given it much thought (though I would be delighted to be proven wrong in subsequent films). Does anyone out there remember any other meta posts about Bucky’s mask? Or have anything more to contribute for this anon? Please reply or reblog with your own thoughts/theories/headcanons! :)

joshlerismyfren  asked:

Could I request an imagine please? I was wondering if you could make one about the reader having an argument with Josh then going off to the airport to fly back home (England in my case) but stops themselves when they hear Josh calling their name. The reader stops and rushes back over to Josh and it's all fluff from there.. Thank you! Xx

The lack of posting recently is really awful (I’m so sorry), but here you go! This is very long overdue, but I hope you enjoy!

Please Don’t Go (A Josh Dun Imagine)

Trigger Warnings: None

Packing was always bittersweet. You loved visiting your family back in England, but that meant being separated from Josh. You always managed to make it work, video chatting and calling for hours every night, but no matter how much you kept in-touch, you always missed him terribly when you were gone.

Today was going to be especially hard. Normally, you left for a week or two before returning, but this time, you were going to be gone almost an entire month. You wanted to make the most of time with Josh that you had left.

You sat cross-legged on the floor, humming softly as you folded clothes and packed them neatly into your suitcase for the trip. Distracted by the task-at-hand, you didn’t even hear Josh come up behind you until he was planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“How’s it going?” He asked you, making his way across your shared bedroom to grab his phone charger.

“Could be better. I hate leaving you.” You sighed, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your eyes before stuffing your toothbrush in the bag.

“I hate it when you leave too. But it’ll be nice to see your family, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”  You said absentmindedly, folding a sweater before stuffing it into the bag. “Hey I was thinking maybe you drive me to the airport tonight? We could stop for dinner on the way.”

Josh wound the phone charger around his palm. “Can’t. Tyler and I are recording tonight, remember? We booked the studio months ago; I can’t just ditch.”

You looked up from packing. You hadn’t expected him to say no. “But, it’s our last chance to see each other before I leave.” You whined, failing to mask the disappointment in your voice.

He gave you a sad smile. “I know baby, I really wish I could, but there’s not much I can do.”

“Why don’t you just call the studio, ask to reschedule?”

“That’s not how it works.”

“I’m sure there’s some way for-“

You flinched as Josh slammed his hand down hard on the dresser. His calm expression had quickly contorted into sheer exasperation.

“There’s not, okay? Tyler and I have been planning this for months. I’m sorry that our plans happened to fall on the same night that you leave, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t just re-arrange my life around your needs; I have things I need to do too. You need to learn that everything doesn’t revolve around you all the time.”

You froze, your eyes wide in shock. Josh had never yelled at you. Ever. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you grabbed your suitcase and headed toward the hall.

Fine. Have fun recording.” You choked bitterly, your voice dripping with sarcasm, before slamming the door behind you.

It wasn’t until you were on the sidewalk outside that the tears took over. The bitter wind whipped through your thin hoodie and stung your tear-stained cheeks as you marched bitterly toward the bus stop, your suitcase bumping along the cracks in the pavement behind you. You knew your relationship with Josh had been too good to be true. You should have backed out while you still had a chance. You fought back angry tears as you realized that he cared about his career more than he cared about you. Clenching your fist tighter, you dug your nails deep into your palm to keep yourself from losing it.

You were relieved to see that there was no one waiting at the bus stop when you arrived, giving you a chance to recollect yourself before someone saw you crying. When the bus arrived a few minutes later, you had managed to wipe the tears from your eyes and make yourself appear at least semi-presentable.

You chose a seat toward the back. The bus was surprisingly empty, with only a few passengers scattered throughout the rows.  Pulling out a pair of earbuds, you leaned your head against the window and watched everything whiz by in streaks of color. You turned up the music, trying to concentrate on the lyrics, but all you could think about was Josh.

How could he have prioritized his music over you? You guys had been through thick and thin together, and now you were going to lose him over some dumb recording session?

The rest of the bus ride was spent staring out the window, swaying gently over the bumpy roads. You felt numb, the anger of the argument wearing off into misery. When you finally reached the airport, it was getting dark, and the sun hung low over the horizon, casting a warm glow over everything in sight. You grabbed your suitcase and headed for the doors of the building.

You followed the same routine you did every time you left for home. Bag check, security, coffee. This time was different though. There was no rush of excitement, no jittery anticipation. Everything felt routine and lifeless.

Sitting down at the gate, the realization of how inconsiderate you’d been hit you like a truck at full force. You once again felt the familiar sting of tears welling up in your eyes, but you were determined to contain them this time. You felt awful for having been so selfish. Of course he loved you, but he loved his career too. He’d been waiting so long to record; of course he couldn’t just cancel it for you. You knew that his music meant the world to him, but in the heat of the moment, you’d been too focused on yourself to think about his perspective. Maybe Josh was right; maybe you did act like the world revolved around you.

Every second you spent with your thoughts made you feel sicker and sicker. Subconsciously, you reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone. You needed to apologize for how acted. But before you could click Josh’s number, you stopped yourself. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe the fight was a good thing. After all, Josh deserved someone better than you could ever be.

A monotone voice blared over the intercom. “Flight 206 to London-Heathrow will begin boarding shortly.”

Gathering your wits, you stood up from the bench and replaced your phone in your back pocket, joining the other people in line.

This was it. There was no turning back now. You were leaving here, leaving Josh. The painful lurch in your stomach almost convinced you to turn back, to call Josh and apologize, but you knew that was unfair to him. He deserved so much better.


Confused, you looked up from your boarding pass. You could swear that voice belonged to Josh. Looking over your shoulder toward the voice, all you saw was an older couple walking strolling slowly past the gate. You shook your head, embarrassed at how ridiculous that was. Why would Josh be here? But then you heard the voice again, louder, clearer this time.

Turning around again, your heart skipped a beat as you saw Josh sprinting toward you. His eyes were puffy and his hair was a mess, but there was a look of pure relief on his face.

You took off running toward him, the pent-up tears finally streaming down your face, but this time it wasn’t out of anger or despair, but utter joy. Josh was here.

When you finally reached him, you were swept off your feet by his enthusiastic embrace. He was breathing heavy, clearly having run as fast as he possibly could to catch you before your flight took off.

“I’m…sorry.” He panted, trying to catch his breath. “I-”

You squeezed him tightly, never wanting to let him go ever again. “It was my fault.” You sputtered, still holding him tight. “I’m sorry. I was so selfish. I know how much recording means to you.”

You stood there for a minute, wrapped in each other’s arms, while Josh caught his breath. His presence was so comforting; you didn’t even mind the ugly hiccups and sniffles you were making. He was here. He came for you.

A few minutes later, Josh’s breathing had become steady. He rubbed your back gently as he spoke, resting his head on yours. “I was really stressed out about this album and I was upset because you were leaving and, well… I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s not your fault. I was only thinking about myself.”

“No babe, I understand.”

He kissed your forehead gently and brushed a stray piece of hair out of your face with his thumb.

“So we’re good then?” He asked tentatively, looking you in the eyes.

You nodded. “I’m so glad you came.”

Unaware of what a scene you’d been making, you were startled when the ticket lady cleared her throat loudly behind you. “Are you coming or not? We’re on a schedule here.”

Frazzled, you turned to grab your carry on, but Josh grabbed your wrist, pleading desperately. “Please don’t go; I need you.”

You glanced at the gate and the angry ticket woman, conflicted. “I already told my mum I was coming.”

“I’ll buy you another ticket. You can fly out next week; I can even come too if you want. Just please don’t go. When you left, I… I realized how much I need you.”

You knew your mum would be upset, but there was no way you could ever get on that plane. You wanted to stay with Josh forever.


“Really?” The smile that lit up Josh’s face was bigger than you’d ever seen before.

“Yeah. I don’t want to leave, I want to stay right here with you.”

He pulled you up against him once again, his arms around your waist, and held you close. You let your head rest on his warm chest and wrapped your arms around his neck, holding on like it was life or death. You’d almost lost him once, and you promised yourself you would never let him go again.

anonymous asked:

Here's a request! Rfa members find out mc already has a kid from a previous relationship? Marriage, or teen pregnancy or any number of reasons.

Hey anon! Thanks for your request! ^^ Since all the boys are relatively young (besides Jumin) I just assume MC would also be in her mid 20′s so I decided to just make it a teen pregnancy. Hope that’s okay! :D ~

♥ He’d be really surprised and kinda nervous. He didn’t expect you to have kids and he’s not sure if he’s ready to be a father. Especially since he’s still in college.
♥ He loves your child to death anyway, he really wants a family, don’t get me wrong.
♥ Constantly asks you questions about your previous relationship that got you pregnant, he gets really upset when he hears the previous father left you alone to raise your child.
♥ He sticks by you and your child constantly, even though he’s not 100% ready to commit to a family of his own, he’s very willing to try once he graduates.
♥ he literally swears on his precious life to never leave you like that piece of shit who got you pregnant and left
“I’ve always wanted to have a family with you MC. Even if I wasn’t the one who got to go through your pregnancy with you, I’ll love them just the same.

♥ He’d be really anxious to hear you already have kids. He’d love to have a family but he also has a really busy acting career so he’s nervous he’ll neglect the child just like his parents neglected him.
♥ He’s really worried he’s not going to be a good father because he’s still making his way in life and his acting career is only just beginning.
♥ He tries his hardest to be at home and play with the child, but it’s really difficult when he has to go to practice all the time.
♥ When he does get to play with the child, he cherishes them so much. He’s so gentle and sweet.
♥ I swear to god if he ever sees your ex that left you with a child, he would punch them so hard in the face.
♥ “I will be the most supportive father I can be, MC. You can count on me.”

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anonymous asked:

What if Matt's acting career succeeded?

Matthew snuck up behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her a pressing a kiss just under her jaw. “You look beautiful, love.” He whispered. Stephanie laughed a little and turned her head to kiss him. “I swear I’m wearing five pounds of makeup on my face.” She confessed, closing her eyes as Matt pressed a half dozen quick kisses to her cheek. “You always look beautiful.”

He let go, letting her turn around and take him in; he couldn’t help but feel a little smug at the appreciative look she gave, eyes tracing the line of his shoulders and the way his tux made him look a little older, a little more mature. “And you,” Stephanie said, pulling Matt closer by the tie and kissing him quickly. “Look handsome as ever.” Matthew smiled and rested his hands on her hips, kissing lightly down her neck and across her collar, feeling the cool press of the pearl necklace he’s given Stephanie for her birthday against his cheek. “Keep looking at me like that and we’re gonna just skip the whole dumb thing.” He hummed against her shoulder.

Stephanie laughed and gently pushed his head away. “It’s your big night, we’re not skipping the Tony awards after everything you did to get here.” She scolded playfully. He sighed dramatically and suddenly dipped Steph, smiling at the startled squeak she let out. “Who cares? I’ve got the most beautiful treasure in the world right here.” Matthew said, kissing her once more before pulling Stephanie back to her feet. “But then again, you look far too beautiful to keep you stuck at home.”

I’m Sorry


Genre: Fluff/Angst

Member: Jungkook

Length: 2306 Words

Originally posted by ofzico

You and Jungkook were both locked in a fierce one on one battle in one his favourite games.

“Jungkook, don’t you- I swear if you-”

“Sorry,” he said unapologetically as he finished you off.

You screamed in frustration as you threw your controller to the floor, “that’s not even fair! I almost had you! You know what? I don’t want to play anymore.”

“Ah, come on Y/N. Don’t be like that,” Jungkook said laughing a little.

You crossed your arms and turned away from him.

He continued to laugh at your antics. He turned you back to face him, pulling you closer in the process, “you’re not actually mad, right?”

You carried on with your act.

“Come on, you like me too much to actually be mad at me, right?” He said jokingly, causing your breath to hitch.

“I-um,” you stuttered, his words affecting you more than you would’ve liked to admit. If only he knew how true his words were.

To make matters worse, you became highly aware of how close the two of you had become. Your mind was turning into a mess. Needing to think clearly, you moved away putting some distance between the two of you. You smiled nervously, “n-no, but just so we’re clear I had you.”

He cocked his head to side, a little suspicious of your behaviour. After a couple of seconds he let it go and nodded his head, “you did.”

You were just about to make a remark when his phone dinged.

You saw him quickly reach for it, as he held his breath. He  scanned the screen before his fingers started tapping rapidly. You couldn’t help your curiosity. Who could it be? Maybe one of the members?

In attempt to satisfy your curiosity, you casually leaned towards him trying to see who it was,  but he instantly moved his phone away from you with a small laugh.

You reluctantly waited as he finished. After the message had been sent, he placed his phone directly in front of him. He stared at it anxiously as he unconsciously ran his hands up and down his thighs, trying to calm his nerves.

You narrowed your eyes beginning to feel a little envious of the person that had enticed such a reaction from him, “who is it?”

His head snapped up to look at you, “what do you mean?”

“Who’s texting you that’s making you so restless?”

Keep reading

Time’s Up Part 3

Summery: You’re yet to confront Kai about what happened and your possible feelings for him but how will he react when he sees Sehun all over you?
Member: Sehun, Jongin (Kai) x Reader (ft. Various Idols)
Type: Angst, Fluff, School!Au
Warnings: Violence and Graphic Language
Length: 2,228 Words

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

I’m sorry this took so long but I’m a lot happier with this version than the original. In part 4 we will see the introductions of Sehun’s narrative voice (POV) and the introduction of 4 new characters from the idol requests so I hope you’re excited!

- Admin Kain

Originally posted by blondejongin

Kai found it’s hard to describe the feeling of watching your “best friend” pursue someone they know full well you have been interested in longer than you’ve been able to jack off. It’s a conflicting mix of emotions because although Kai would be lying if he said he hadn’t been fantasizing about putting Sehun’s pasty ass in the deep fryer and cooking him like the piece of meat he lets others treat himself like there’s also the years of countless, heart-warming memories that never fail to print a smile on Kai’s lips and have him laughing until he can’t breathe. On top of that, there’s the knowledge of what led the boy to have so little self-respect and make Oh Sehun the monster that he is today.

Still, none of that quiet explains why Kai and Sehun are sat on opposite ends of the sofa outside the headmaster’s office, Sehun surely with a broken nose judging by the cringe-worthy sound that seemed a mix of cracking and crunching and the apparently endless  river of blood spewing all caused by Kai’s fist and a natural reaction to Oh Sehun’s shit eating grin. Who can blame Kai, though? He fucking had it coming.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hiya ^_^ I hope you're having a fantastic day! I'm absolutely in love with your blog and really admire your writing style and talent. I was wondering if you could do an RFA reacts to an MC is educated, opinionated, someone who is less passive, and someone who values her independence but still is very empathetic, patient, and caring?

I’m glad you love my blog! I do too :D 


  • It probably gets Zen’s back up at first. Maybe he uses the wrong terminology when chatting about something in his script and MC is the first one in there to correct him. Maybe he says something sexist without meaning to and MC is the one who points it out.
  • Let’s not forget that he grew up with people who only ever valued academia. An MC that’s really freaking smart and independent would probably scare the crap out of him…to begin with.
  • But once MC realises where he’s coming from and eases up a bit and he realises MC is one of the good academics (I.e. they don’t sneer at modern stuff and probably LOVED Promiscuous Jalapeño topping because of how it dealt with Romeo and Juliet), he’s a lot less intimidated 
  • MC showing a genuine interest in acting and taking him to the theatre or bringing home books about performance art and how it correlates to modern stuff and Zen learning loads from them and indirectly improving his own style.
  • He’d never really get over the independence part though lol. He’d call them about six times a day and text all the freaking time
  • If they reference working with a guy in the same field he Will Not Like It. He does not have much self esteem when it comes to smarts.


  • Oh mother have mercy
  • This is his type
  • He asks MC’s opinion on e v e r y t h i n g 
  • If they’re educated in something he doesn’t know too much about, like a science-related field, he asks them to tell him everything ever about it. It won’t matter too much that he might not find a use for this information, he’ll just enjoy listening to them talk so passionately because it’s something that he’s still learning to do.
  • He actually prefers it that they are independent, considering that he has spent so much of his life surrounded by gold diggers, but he’s clingy af, so you would literally never guess
  • Honestly though, in the same breath as praising MC for working hard and finishing a project and just generally valuing their own stuff, he’d be like ‘but you’ll come to dinner with me, won’t you??? You’ll be home by five???’
  • Hopefully MC is communicative to establish boundaries quite early on, not because Jumin won’t otherwise be able to respect them, but because he has never been in a healthy relationship before where everyone respected everyone else (with the exception of his friendship with V) and this will almost certainly cause arguments.


  • Yoosung would be intimidated but also aROUSED
  • He’d love watching them debate their favourite topics and honestly sometimes might disagree with them on purpose just to be put in his place
  • Also wouldn’t like hearing about MC’s super smart colleagues/friends etc because he feels like they’re probably smarter than he is.
  • He’d be super passive aggressive about it too lmao
  • “So, MC…about that guy you’re working with…is he cute?”
  • “Not especially. Why?”
  • “Well, you’ve been staying late a lot recently.”
  • MC would need to be patient, especially if they have to cope with Yoosung ignoring their pleas for him to study
  • Because if MC is educated, they KNOW how important it is and Yoosung’s refusal to study because of LOLOL just won’t wash.
  • My gf and I were classmates at university and I told her once that I wasn’t planning to study for the end of year exams when I was 18 I didn’t study for anything and THE NEXT DAY she invited herself over to my apartment with ice cream, a bunch of our class texts and extra source materials and notes and basically WOULDN’T LEAVE until I’d at least done some studying with her present and this is what MC and Yoosung would be like I swear it.


  • Tbh, I think Seven wouldn’t realise exactly how smart MC was until someone else pointed it out
  • Honestly, what is his point of comparison?
  • He doesn’t have the same frame of reference as the other characters and he’d enjoy talking to them and think they were on the same wavelength, but only later when someone else made the comment that ‘oh my god, MC is so smart’ would it occur to him that they’re probably more intelligent than the average person
  • Seven prats around a lot, but..I mean…he graduated college early…he can build robots on a whim…he is genuinely really fucking clever
  • An independent MC would actually be one of the better options for Seven, I think.
  • Like seriously, you can get at least one bad end just by being too clingy and prioritizing his attention over getting shit done
  • Once Seven’s attentions are focused on something, he can really lose track of everything else, which is why it’s good that this MC is so understanding and patient, because they won’t get shirty for being neglected but instead will urge him to eat regularly and take a walk now and then.


  • Jaehee is super educated too so she’d be happy they had something in common 
  • The pair of them spend their free time rolling their eyes at the antics of the others over a cup of hot tea or glass of wine.
  • If MC has a busy job as well, they comfort each other and give each other advice that they know is the right thing to do even if they themselves are incapable of following it.
  • “You just need to take a vacation, MC.”
  • “You first.”
  • :/
  • Tbh they’d get on so well and have so much in common that they’d probably end up encouraging one another to quit their jobs after learning a great deal about themselves from each other.
  • MC and Jaehee being this weird mix of jaded about their careers but also ganging up on Yoosung whenever he lets on that he didn’t study.
  • “Studying is important!!!”
  • “Think of your job prospects!!”

Spoilery ones under the cut

Keep reading


Anonymous asked for a rec of possessive!Derek fics so here you go!

As usual can you please make sure to check the tags and warnings before you read! 

Cat Farming in the Cascades (1/1 | 3,043 | Rated E)

Derek has no idea why, but Stiles has this really horrible, absolutely unconscious habit of fondling himself. All the time. In public, in private, it doesn’t matter.

Really, this is probably at least partially Derek’s fault. Because he didn’t somehow stop Stiles’ behavior back when he’d had the chance, and the kid apparently never learned not to touch himself in public. So now he’s doing it enough that random people are taking videos of him fondling his junk in his university classes. Oh god.

Take a Glorious Bite Out of the Whole World (1/1 | 5,472 | Rated E)

Stiles gets a tattoo when he turns eighteen. Derek notices. Quietly.


The tattoo is vein-like and strange, but it’s so very…right. It’s not necessarily a picture, but free-flowing lines that wind around his arm and dip and dance around his scars. It makes him feel free, makes him feel powerful.

He goes in for his second tattoo when he’s about to leave for school in Southern California.

It’s not so much of a second one as a continuation. He decides that, though the pattern isn’t of branches it acts like them, so he branches it down over his shoulder and down to the center of his back, kind of like draping a toga. At the center of his back the lines concentrate and sort of circle. He adds a splash of jade-shaded almond shapes and feels stronger somewhere deep inside.

He Gets Me High (1/1 | 11,562 | Rated E)

Stiles and Derek act like a couple. But they’re not. Seriously! Derek has a boyfriend and Stiles has a girlfriend. They’re just friends, overly-attached and possessive friends, but that’s it. Right? 

Mirror, Mirror (2 works | 5,103 | Rated E)

Kink meme fill: Established relationship. After someone flirts with Stiles, Derek needs to show him who he belongs to by fucking him in a room full of mirrors so he can see himself stretched open. Bonus points if Derek forces Stiles to watch as his hole is stretched to accommodate Derek’s knot.

no aphrodisiac like loneliness (2 works | 19,705 | Rated E)

Stiles is 27 now, with a master’s degree and a career and a house and a serious boyfriend and a life in San Francisco that doesn’t include Derek. But then Stiles unexpectedly shows back up in Beacon Hills, and Derek would recognize that scent anywhere.

famous last words (6/6 | 16,957 | Rated E)

(No, he doesn’t belong in porn anonymous—it’s not an addiction. It isn’t, he swears.)

I Totally Planned on the Walk of Shame (1/1 | 14,960 | Rated E)

Stiles wiggled a bit to adjust the fit of his skinny jeans and winced slightly. There was a fine line between paint and pants and he was pretty sure that line had frowned at him in disapproval two sizes back. He popped a few breath mints and resisted the urge to run nervous hands through his hair lest he ruin all of Lydia’s hard work. Stiles took a deep breath, sent up a prayer, and stepped into line at Howl, the most underground of underground nightclubs that Beacon Hills had to offer.

Not that Beacon Hills had any other underground nightclubs but still, Stiles was there, ready to unleash his inner beast and walk on the wild side.

Jazz hands.

sleep on the floor, dream about me (1/1 | 4,887 | Rated E)

When she woke up in her room, everything smelled like puke and blood and Derek was leaning over her, palm pressed against her forehead.

“Well,” he said. “That was dramatic.”

“Yeah,” Stiles coughed and wished to stop breathing if only so she didn’t have to taste the inside of her mouth any longer. “Sorry about that.”

“Later on, when you’re able to really appreciate it, I will kill you for this.”

(K)Not Exactly According to Plan ( 2 works | 3,812 | Rated E)

Finding his mate is nothing like Derek expected.

He expected relief, a bone deep feeling of peace and contentment, whole hearted acceptance and soul freeing joy. Actually, given the last few years of Derek’s life saying he expected anything good is a bit of an overstatement. Derek had hoped though. He’d hoped that when he felt that connection, was overcome by that urge to touch and mark and claim, and finally found his mate it would be a new beginning, a sign of better things to come.

Instead he found Stiles –hahaha hell no you can’t know my first name-Stilinski and he’s the complete and total opposite of what Derek thought he wanted in a mate.

Control (1/1 | 3,953 | Not Rated)

Stiles, fed up with Derek’s I-Ruin-Fun attitude, skips out on the pack meeting. Meanwhile Derek, tired of pushing Stiles away, decides to let his wolf take control in order to secure his mate by his side. One-shot.

Discordant Chaos (1/1 | 3,148 | Rated E)

“Jesus, we really are some kind of fucked up, aren’t we, just completely toxic to each other.”

(Or the one where Derek and Stiles are assholes and Stiles gets Scott caught up in the middle of their shit. But it’s all good, because Scott’s an asshole, too.)

“We’re going clubbing!” (1/1 | 2,526 | PG-13)

“I’m sorry we’re doing what?!” Stiles was incredulous. They couldn’t be serious. Really they couldn’t be. Lydia and Erica were staring at him in amusement. They must be joking.

“Yes Stiles,” They replied in ominous harmony. “We’re going clubbing.”

“I’m looking at you and hearing clubbing but my head is saying no they can’t mean that. They can’t mean let’s take a group of adolescent werewolves, who can barely contain themselves on a good day! to a club, with people. Real people. But it’s okay. Because I know Derek would never agree to this.”

“Actually,” Lydia looked evil, with the current smirk she was sporting, “Actually he already did.”

The Hale Beast (1 works | 17,707 | Rated M)

Stiles would rather be at home playing X-Box than attending the ceremony inaugurating the Wolf nation’s sovereignty over the Argent kingdom, but he’s the Sheriff’s son so those are the breaks. What he doesn’t expect is the feral werewolf Prince Derek AKA The Beast to take an interest in him.

He was alone with the Beast. His heart started pounding its way up into his throat. A burst of static came from his cell phone.
“Scott! Oh my god! He’s here! The Hale Beast is here with me and I’m alone and no one is here to witness when he kills me…to death!”

Obsession (1/1 | 2,399 | Rated M)

Derek gets hit by a witch’s curse and is confined to his loft as his uncle searches for a cure and Isaac stands guard. But as the curse grows worse and Derek’s obsession with a certain pale skinned person becomes increasingly intense, how long can the team keep Derek and Stiles apart, especially when Stiles decides to take matters into his own hands? 

Originally posted by kseoulsunshine

You Made Me Feel So… [Part 2] (Kihyun)

Previous Parts: 1 | 2 | …

Warnings: Some swearing. More angst.

A/N: Again I’ve used original lyrics so I hope you’ll understand when i ask you to not steal my lyrics please! :)

“You have to record it!” Mike says beaming at you.

“No.” You answer and walk away.

Mike sighs but follows behind you, “C’mon Y/N! Those are some of he best lyrics I’v ever heard you perform. They’re real, they’re honest, they’re relatable! They don’t feed into the cookie cutter romance bullshit! It’s about serious pain. People are gonna love it!”

You sigh and stop walking. Mike stops as well. As you turn around to tell him no once again, you find hims staring at you with this ridiculous puppy dog face, no grown man should ever use.

Your face twist in disgust, “Don’t do that.”

Mike keeps the face, “You already had your heart broken tonight… You gonna break mine now too.”

Your eyes narrowed and you flipped him off before walking away. He begins to follow close behind you again.

“Look I can’t even remember half of what I said.” You tell him.

“There’s no need too. You know Daniel records all of your performances.” Mike smiles.

Shit, you forgot. Your manager Daniel does record every performance. The two of you watch over them together and talk about ways your performance could be improved. You’d been dreading it the entire time you were on stage, knowing you’d get an ear full from him about your rigid stature and serious lack of stage presence. Your performance wasn’t the best, but you’re heart broken right now so… sue you.

Speaking of Daniel, “Y/N…” He draws out your name, “You’re damn lucky you saved it toward the end but we still have a lot to talk about young lady.”

“Save the lecture.” You told him, continuing your retreat toward the exit…

“I will not save the lecture.” Daniel says grabbing your arm and forcing you to stop walking.

You look at Mike for help. He and Daniel have been married for 4 years now, and he’s the only person who can change his mind once he gets like this. Mike raises an eyebrow and mock question and you already know what he wants.

You sigh, “Fine, I’ll record the damn song.”

Mike smiles in triumph before taking a hold of Daniel’s shoulders, “There’s no need babe. You know how she felt about that boy. Just a case of heartbreak.”

Daniel’s face shifted from one of anger to one of sympathy, “In that case…” He sighed, “It was an amazing performance. You killed it… Broken heart and all.”

You smiled. The two of them are wonderful friends and your greatest support system when you need them to be. Sure they could be insensitive assholes at times, but they always put your friendship before work, and you love them. 

Three months have passed now since your original performance. Three months and you still aren’t over it… over him. It didn’t help that Mike and a producer friend had you constantly reliving the incident in order to pull lyrics for a second verse. Assholes. And while you weren’t entirely proud of the second verse it definitely got your point across and relayed your true feelings.

Today is the day it’s set to release. You’re nervous. How could you not be? You’re releasing a song based off of your own pain and heartbreak. Regardless to the fact that no one knows who the songs is about, it’s still nerve wracking. Why? Because he knows. And you’re sure of it.

Your phone stats to ring. You look down to see Hyungwon’s name light up the screen.

You’d kept up appearances among Monsta X. After all, you are friends with all of them. You hung out at their dorm, watched at their dance practices, and supported every move of their career. And in turn they did the same for you. Even Kihyun, who just assumed you’d done like you’d mentioned in your performance that night, and got rid of your feelings.

You answered your phone, “Yes Hyungwon?”

“Y/N!” All the boys screamed. You laugh.

“The song will be released in less than five minutes! Are you excited?” Hyungwon asks.

You smile. You told them you’d be releasing and new song but hadn’t told them the concept, or any of the lyrics. They complained for the first few days but after a week had gone by they’d come to accept they’d just have to wait like everyone else.

“I’m excited.” You said simply.

“You don’t sound it.” Someone mutters and you can tell it’s Minhyuk.

You roll your eyes, as if they can even see you, “I’m feeling a bit anxious.”

“Why? Is there something different this time?” Hyunwoo’s voice calls.

“Ehh… You’ll see.” You smile, “One minute until it goes live. Love you guys! Hope you love it!”

“Bye Y/N!!!” They all call again and you hang up… They’ll see.

“It’s live!” Jooheon calls, quickly pushing the button to agree to the $0.99 charge. The song begins to download and he connects his iPad to the speakers that run through the dorm.

Once it’s finished downloading it immediately begins to play. A cool slowed R&B rhythm starts through the speakers and your voice follows soon after.

“Is that your girlfriend?
Over there with the long hair
And brown eyes
Slim waist, and slim thighs.
The girl that looks half my size
And prolly don’t eat apple pie…
She’s on a diet half the month
the other half she’s eating salad
and carrots she’s eating carrots
so that you’ll buy her some carats
Like the one that’s sitting pretty on her finger
she’s an aspiring singer with no talent, but sucking dick and not gagging
she hates all your favorite movies and she acts just like a groupie.”

Kihyun’s ears peaked… These are the lyrics from the show. The one’s you’d basically confessed in. He thought you were over it. You smiled and greeted him kindly everyday for the past 3 months. All the while you were planning this? To say he’s pissed is an understatement. And yet… he continues to listen, the lyrics holding him hostage as you go from the first verse to the short chorus and immediately slip into the second verse.

“Is this my heart break?
Guess it had to happen now or then,
And I mean I get it we are better off as friends
But you realize this was messed up
A warning would’ve been nice
You never told me you were interested
That’s probably a good thing
‘Cause my emotions run so high
I would’ve tried to change your mind
I know it’s messed up
But it’s messed up
How I’m feeling’s really messed up
I hate unrequited love
And at some point I should’ve fessed up
Honestly I thought you knew
I was just waiting for you.”

You really sounded heart broken…How could he have known though? You never made things obvious… Well at least to him they weren’t. He always thought the two of you were just really good friends. In fact at one point he’d been convinced you had a crush on Hoseok. You denied it when he asked, claiming you were interested in someone else. He didn’t know you meant him. He dropped it and figured things hadn’t worked out between you and the guy when you didn’t tell him and the guys about you being in a relationship.

“You know my heart is not a place
I let too many people in
But at some point you took your shoes off
and just made yourself at home…
You became my constant
And the only one I want.”

It’s true. You were guarded the day he had met you, To the point where you seemed shy, only speaking when spoken too, and silently nodding in agreement with everything being said. It’d taken seeing you again on several different occasions for you to even laugh at a joke. But once you opened up you were a ball of love. Caring, and funny. Loving and compassionate. You made other, normal people look like terrible human being in comparison. To hear you say all of these things just reassured him he couldn’t be pissed. This song is obviously your way of venting, and as long as no one knows its about him… well he’ll leave it alone.

“And now I’m feeling like…
Maybe you planned this all along
Like you saw somebody weak
Someone you could use and go
And now you’re standing there with her
Arm wrapped around her waist
Staring at me…
With this shit eating grin upon your face
And I’m forced to say I’m happy that you’re happy
And I’ll watch while you stay happy
and I’ll pray that you stay happy
At this point I’m not too happy but who cares if my heart break.”

Someone cares… Someone hates to hear these lyrics and know you’re hurting so much. Someone who knows they’re about Kihyun. Someone who’s going to work to make you happy… No matter what.

“You made me feel so..

You made me feel so…

And Now I can’t…”

Hope you enjoyed!! I don’t like long series because I have trouble coming up with ideas. So it’ll probably be like… 5 parts long at most. I hope you enjoy!! :)

- admin aj

Nate Maloley-Your Lifestyle


I was in my sweat pants laying on my now husband of six months, Nate Maloley. We binge-watch tv shows together even if he’s on tour; we just FaceTime and watch; it was one of our ways of bonding and currently we were watching Lost together. It was kind if confusing but I was glad I had someone to help to clarify things. I traced Nate’s beautiful tattoos as we watched Claire’s baby daddy walk out on her.

“I would never do that to you.” Nate squeezed my waist tighter for a second as he kissed my forehead.

“Nate.” I sighed. “Please don’t start.”

Every since we got engaged every one it seems was asking about about when we were having a child. Aunts, uncles, sisters, cousins, his family, my family and don’t even get me started on my mother. ‘When are you going to give me another grandchild.’ 'If you wait to long your child isn’t going to grow up without their cousins.’ 'I feel like I’m going to die before I’m going to see your children.’ She’s so dramatic I swear but what can you do.

“Start what?” Nate questioned as if he genuinely didn’t know what I was talking about. Recently Nate had a really bad case of baby fever and I was not having it.

“Begging me for a child.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Nate defended himself.

“But you were hinting at it. ”

“I’m sorry can you blame me. You’d be a perfect mother and babies are so cute. Have you ever heard a baby laugh; because if you have you couldn’t help but want a baby. You always say you love my laugh so imagine that in a small miny me or you.” Nate kissed my forehead.

“Yes that would be adorable. There’s nothing wrong with waiting a bit. We just got married, everything’s going too fast. I want to enjoy me and you together for a year or two before we have a kid. Nate, we’re not ready for that kind of responsibility. Financially, our life style, your lifestyle.” I tried to explain.

“I am responsible and what’s that supposed to mean?” Nate scoffed at the idea.

“Please don’t even try to get offended by that.” I propped myself up on one arm. “Nate your always on tour and I get that. That’s how you make a living that’s what you love to do and I wouldn’t want you to stop that unless you’re ready to-”

“Well maybe I am ready to.”

“No you’re not! Listen to how crazy you sound!” I raised my voice momentarily. “Nate, I currently have an internship and a nice stack of college loans to pay off. Your music is just starting to take off and you have to focus on your career. Our lives are just beginning and you want to put everything we’ve worked for on hold.” I tried to reason with him.

“YN, we could do it. Sure it would be a juggling act but we’d make it through.”

“But that’s just it I don’t want to 'make it through’. I want us to be ready in every aspect of our lives. If we have a child our lives will change forever. You can’t go partying whenever you want. I don’t want to have to stay home alone left to wonder what you’re doing, where you are, are you safe.”

“YN, I know that. I’m going to be there for you. I’ll go out less-”

“It’s not about going out less!” I snapped making Nate’s eyes go wide.

“You know how you get when your under the influence Nate! Sometimes you don’t make really bad decisions. You drink and drive and you think it’s okay and it’s not. You know one of my brothers best friends was killed by a drunk driver. The kid got life in prison. You’ve done it multiple times and doesn’t even faze you that you could’ve killed someone or yourself. How could you expect me to want to have a child with you when I don’t even know if you’re going to come home; dead or alive; drunk or cross faded. And I’ll be damned if my child has to visit their father behind bars or at the cemetery on Father’s Day because he decided to be selfish and drive drunk. Nate you’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met!”

“If I’m so selfish why’d you marry me.” Nate fired back.

I took a deep breath in keeping my eyes shut tight trying to stop the tears from streaming down my face. I was standing infront of Nate arms crossed as he sat on the couch frustration all over his face.

“Because I love you, Nate. You don’t get it do you. What about your parents, they would be devastated if anything happened to you! Have you thought about your siblings at all. Kayan, God bless her heart and Stew; he looks up to you, you’re his hero, his idol, his knight in shining armor, Nate! And what about Sammy practically your other brother. What about Swazz and Jack and the other Jack and Hayes and Tez and your fans. But I forgot you don’t think and you don’t care about anyone or anything but your habit,” I’m done, I’m tired of arguing; he doesn’t get it and I’m starting to think that he never will. “I’m going to bed Nate.”

I walked to the near by stair case and dragged myself up the staircase mentally exhausted from the events that just unfolded. I wiped my eyes trying to clear my vision from the blurry mess my tears left. As I entered our room I grabbed a t-shirt out of my drawer and then surrounded my body under the covers. If your going to cry yourself to sleep cry into an old t-shirt so your pillow isn’t soggy when you want to sleep on it later. That’s one of the many tricks I’ve learned being with Nate; being together for nearly four years we’ve had our fair share of pretty bad fights, but every time we work it out and become better than before. I blew my nose into the damp t-shirt thinking about how warm my face felt from crying.

I can’t believe what just happened. I pretty much told Nate that I don’t want to have kids with him; but I do. Not at this second but I really do maybe in a year or two when we’re stable and have everything figured out and not right now, I guess we both have some growing up to do.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing.

I woke up to the feeling of dry skin from salty tears and a headache; crying is fun you guys. Looking at the bedside clock I groaned I was out for two hours. I got out of bed and went to the door opening and closing it slowly and softly; I really didn’t want to see or talk to Nate right now. I tip-toed downstairs walking past the couch and to the kitchen. I went into the cabinets and got a cup out then making my way to the fridge. As my cup began to fill with water I felt two arms snake around me and a head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Nate’s soft voice brought tears to my eyes. “I’ve been thinking for the past couple of hours and you’re right; I’m selfish and I’m sorry and I’m going stop.”

I turned around and hugged Nate, silent tears dampened his chest as he squeezed me. I looked up at him, his eyes were red but this time it wasn’t from weed. His skin looked tired and the bags under his eyes were accented by dry tears.

“Thank you.” I whispered back to him and squeezed him back harder. Nate lifted my chin up by a finger so he was looking me in the eyes.

“I don’t know why but out of all the times you’ve told me to stop drinking and driving this time it finally stuck. This time something like clicked. I’m sorry for not thinking about how you or anyone else felt about my drinking and driving or smoking or drinking in general; I’ll quit I promise; it’s what’s best for me; you always know what’s best for me.” Nate kissed my forehead.

“I really don’t. I don’t even know what’s best for myself sometimes.” I looked down.

“ YN,” Nate sighed. “No one knows everything but you’re right about a lot of things. We’re not ready for a child yet I just have a really bad case of baby fever right now. Maybe in a year or two or five we’ll be ready.”

“Five years?” I questioned.

“Yea, we’ll still be young like 27. Who’s got baby fever now. ” He joked.

“Not me it’s just recently it seamed like you wanted to have a baby in five months.” I laughed. Our laughter died down an we were now just staring at eachother.

“Are you really going to stop drinking and smoking?”

“Yes, YN I’m really going to stop drinking and smoking.” He repeated back in a nagging tone. “But I’m going to need your help.” He got serious again.

“I’ll be here every step of the way.” I promised him.

Nate and I kissed again momentarily.

“I love you.” Nate said into the crook of my neck.

“I love you too, baby.”

“You’re so good for me.” Nate kissed me again and we swayed in the kitchen.

“You’re so good too me.” I squeezed Nate as tight as I could.

AN: Yooo don’t drink an drive. I know so many people who have lost family and friends to drunk drivers. It’s not a joke and even if you got home safely this time next time you or your victim might not be so lucky. XO

Mr. Scrooge (ceo!luke)

A/N: Merry (early) Christmas to those who celebrate. Please enjoy some angsty CEO! Luke for the occasion. This idea has been in my head for quite a while. It feels wonderful to get it out now! I’m quite proud of how this turned out, so I hope you like it too. Honest feedback welcome.

Synopsis: Majorly successful CEO! Luke Hemmings is more focused on work than spending Christmas with his girlfriend. Y/N gets fed up with it, but soon uncovers the explanation for Luke’s behavior.
Words: 2.1k

You can feel your parents’ eyes on you. Their stare burns a hole of shame into your skin, practically screaming “I told you so.” They come from a philosophy that states it’s only rude if you say those words out loud. But it’s completely acceptable if they send the same message with their disapproving faces, and the not-so-subtle glances between them. The amount of silent derision hanging in the air is close to unbearable. The few hours until you can leave might as well be infinite.

Sighing beneath your breath, you aimlessly move the food around on your plate in endless circles. In the same manner that your appetite left when Christmas dinner started with an empty seat beside you, so did any hope of making a good impression.

“So, honey, should we be expecting your friend soon?” your mom asks.

Friend. Friend.

Luke isn’t a friend. Your mom knows that. It’s more of a denial tactic than anything else, as if she’s afraid using the label “boyfriend” will somehow make your relationship more real than it already is. Despite the nonsensical logic, she’ll keep pretending like Luke isn’t anyone special—isn’t someone that has potential to be in your future. She’ll keep seeing him as merely another guy that passes through your life temporarily.

Keep reading

Blue Bloods #5

Summary: With his identity still a secret, the arsonist begins to grow bored with just setting fires.
Characters: John Winchester, Female Reader, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, & Cole Trenton.
Word Count: 1,682
Warnings: Language, suspense, talk of masturbation.
Author’s Note: The feedback is amazing. Thank you so much!
Miss the beginning?


Dean sat at his desk, a toothpick hanging precariously close to the edge of his mouth and a pen twirling between his fingers, nervous habits he picked up his first year out of the academy. The timeline the arsonist was using bothered the detective. Instead of the arsonist setting fires closer together, they were growing farther apart. With a deep sigh, he leaned back and scraped a hand over his face. It wasn’t just the timeline that bothered him, nothing about this case made sense.

All signs pointed to Ben Braeden, but with a freshly-established rock solid alibi and no indicators that his acts of truancy and shoplifting would escalate to fires, the minor fell off the radar. Without Ben, there were no other suspects. No suspects meant that the trail might grow cold or another fire would be started, and God knows how many lives would be lost this time.

The death of Ellen hit everyone within the community hard. She was someone everyone could talk to and not feel judged. Many people called her aunt Ellen, Dean and Sam included, but the new generation started calling her grammy.

Feeling someone behind him, Dean spun in the chair and watched as LPD’s newest recruit hooked his thumbs into the top of his standard issue utility belt.

“Somethin’ I can help you with, Trenton?”

Sparkling blue eyes went wide, “N- no, Detective Winchester. I’m just waitin’ on my partner.”

Dean smirked, “You’re with Gabe, right?” Gabriel never had a partner for longer than two years. He was always playing jokes or tellin’ tall tales. One that always got the detective laughing until his sides hurt was that Gabe had starred in a porno as a pizza delivery guy.

“Yes, sir.”

Waving his hand in dismissal, Dean stood, “My father is called sir, just call me Dean.”

Cole shook the detective’s hand and worked hard at not cringing. He hated Dean with every fiber of his being. Fuck, he couldn’t wait to stand over Dean’s burning corpse and watch as recognition took hold of him just in time to die.

“Got any new leads?” Cole nodded toward Dean’s desk where the thick file was left opened. All Dean could do was shake his head and pinch the bridge of his nose. The rookie approached Dean’s desk with caution.

“You mind if I take a look?”

Shrugging, Dean closed the file and handed it to Cole, “Couldn’t hurt to get a fresh set of eyes.”

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carly rae jepsen’s emotion, in facts and theories

Fact: Criticland is a bubble, and often a suffocating one. To the general public, Carly Rae Jepsen is synonymous with “Call Me Maybe,” which is synonymous with flimsy pop, which is associated with Justin Bieber, who to the general public may as well be a walking Ed Hardy hat. To the music industry, she is a C-list rising pop artist with a whiff of Radio Disney, less Ariana Grande than Miranda Cosgrove.

And thus she’s been shackled to meme after meme, like all rising pop artists. “Take a Picture” was a Coca-Cola ad with crowdsourced lyrics. Emotion was promoted with an unholy Tinder/Instagram mashup, which was soon buried, presumably because everyone but its architects found it ridiculous. “I Really Like You” underperformed at radio, based in part on listener feedback, and its Tom Hanks Dramatic Hanksing video failed to meme even more embarrassingly than “Bitch I’m Madonna.” “Run Away With Me” is not performing substantially better. Scooter Braun – whose starmaking batting average is only about 50-50 – has all but admitted defeat; he told The New York Times they planned to “stop worrying about singles,” which for an artist coming off a No. 1 hit is the equivalent of “spending time with my family” or “creative differences.”

Plea: I am a copy editor and I will fight this fight alone (because copy editors are used to being alone, AMIRITE): The album title is Emotion without the syllable marks just as will.i.am’s album title was Willpower without the hashtag and the Andy Grammer single is “Honey, I’m Good” without the period. You can be a fan of an artist without breaking out the Unicode. It’s a perfect conceit, really: Carly Rae Jepsen, literally the dictionary definition of emotion! But it’s a cover-art conceit.

Fact: Emotion is Jepsen’s alt-pop cred. It’s a viable strategy, as Haim and Alessia Cara can attest. But it’s also a tough juggling act – and for an artist who’s in her late twenties yet seen as a teenybopper to most of the world, it’s the equivalent of tossing ten more balls at someone who’s already juggling.

And so while Emotion is much more cohesive as a creative statement than Kiss – no Bieber, no Owl City, in fact no features at all, which to the industry is probably a downgrade but to everyone else is an obvious plus – it still ends up as the sort of album where a track whose first line is “I remember being naked” co-exists with a slow jam designed for nothing past slow dancing, whose closest thing to a come-on is “I will be your friend.”

Fact: Assuming critics in 2030 aren’t all broke in a ditch somewhere, they’ll remember this decade as a groundswell of great pop production, right up there with Timbaland and David Frank. Emotion is a joy to listen to on a pure sonic level. “Warm Blood” is like a Magic School Bus ride through the bloodstream – here be art-pop arteries, there be throbbing hearts, those right there are the red wub cells. “Making the Most of the Night” begins moody – maybe I was primed by Julianne Escobedo Shepard but on the verses I swear I heard “Gravity of Love,” which if true would make Jepsen only the second person to remember this bit of the ‘90s. But then Jepsen talks about hijacking you, and everything goes rickety, like she’s literally hijacked the track and is re-enacting Speed through sheer force of crush.

Statement: Carly Rae Jepsen supposedly lacks personality. She wouldn’t be the only one accused of it. But for every Jessie J or Leona Lewis who struggles to shed the accusation, there’s a Katy Perry or Kim Kardashian who doesn’t need to. Like a lot of supposedly objective pop music writing, it’s self-reinforcing criticism; what happens is money is sluiced through pop stars’ careers, or not, and to the victors go the “personalities.”

Fact: But Carly Rae Jepsen does in fact have a creative presence.

Evidence: She wrote most of the toplines on Emotion, and as a lyricist she loves the sudden swerve into the grotesque or criminal: “be tormented by me, babe”; “who gave you eyes like that, said you could keep them”; not since Kesha have we had such a good pop game Shirley Jackson.

Evidence: Between “Boy Problems” and that, Carly Rae Jepsen may be the one singer on the planet who can sing a Sia-penned song and not sound exactly like Sia.

Evidence: “Your Type” is pretty transparently an attempt to fuse the Taylor Swift of “Style” to the Taylor Swift of “You Belong With Me.” Without Jepsen it wouldn’t work, the synths Morodering their way dully through a tinny track. But Jepsen is tremor and quaver and flutter and apology: “I love you – I’m sorry – I’m sorry – I love you.”

Fact: The proper response to this is “you’re sorry you love me?” I know this because I literally said it, and heard that, last Saturday.

Theory: The awkward female pop star is not a personality pop in 2015 can parse. Women are expected either to be den mother, empress, cyborg, and Courage Wolf in one; or self-loathing romantic who’s one drug away from sensuous, fetching collapse. Every pop star is either retrofitted to one of these models or discarded. Take Taylor Swift, once the closest we had to awkward, now forfeited that label upon moving to New York and taking up supermodels and gentrification. And is it any wonder? Women are told to scour their speech for every stray “sorry” or “I feel like” or “just,” to spend an amount of energy on regulating their speaking voice previously reserved for opera singers, all in the name of displaying mandatory hyperconfidence.

Fact: Pop in 2015, despite what anyone including me tells you, is not synonymous with the fans. Because the fans can parse this; of course they can. Britney was beloved for her dorkiness. Ariana Grande is a far more appealing personality when she’s spouting off about demons and donuts than when she’s a living David LaChappelle photoshoot. The No. 7 song in America, which I have heard approximately zero people discuss critically, is “Fight Song,” which is like “Roar” if sung by someone who has perhaps actually experienced self-doubt.

Theory: Women experiencing self-doubt are invisible. Women writing about their feelings are devalued. This theory is all but ascended to fact.

Fact: Carly Rae Jepsen albums have many uses: soundtracking bad decisions, flirting with people you really shouldn’t be flirting with, rummaging for mantras. The best lyric on this album is “I have a cavern of secrets; none of them are for you.”

Kill Me Heal Me appreciation post

So Kill Me Heal Me ended yesterday and the last episode was soooo beautiful (withdrawal is gonna be bad). The show did so many things right and I’m gonna talk about them…let’s go!

1. That acting tho…

I think I can safely say we all agree Ji Sung deserves every FREAKING AWARD! He successfully portrayed 7 personalities, all with their own individual fashion styles, manner of speaking and facial expressions. Seriously I thought they hired extra actors. Hwang Jung Eum did a spectacular job portraying Oh Ri Jin, the strong willed, comedic, happy psychiatrist who helps Cha Do Hyun with his DID. She managed to blend a gentle but firm demeanor which is exactly what the 7 personalities, who often get out of hand (-cough- Shin Se Gi, Yo Na -cough-) She was the reliable rock Cha Do Hyun needed but was also not afraid to lean on her family for support.

I loved them both so much in Secret ( a drama where they portray possibly one of the most melodramatic couples ever-seriously it will rip your heart out) I was thrilled to see they were paired up again portraying a somewhat lighter couple.

The rest of the cast was incredible, no matter how small the role everyone really worked hard and did their best to produce an incredible drama.

Special shout out to the child actors who portrayed very difficult roles and mini CDH did an amazing job showing us his Shin Se Gi.

2. That OST tho…

Hands down one of the best OSTs of all time! Auditory Hallucination sung by Jang Jae In and rapper NaShow was beautifully raw and powerful. It blended a killer rap and healing ballad (see what I did there) that really portrayed the shows theme of Cha Do Hyun’s struggle and Oh Ri Jin’s soothing guidance.

3. Those second leads tho…

Feel free to disagree with me but the second leads didn’t feel like true second leads. Usually second leads prove to be a heavy impact on the main couple, often even pulling them apart or making the leads doubt if they are with the right person. This was not the case here. 

Our first lead Han Chae Yeon is Cha Do Hyun’s first love that never was. Though he had a huge crush on her he never asked her out because of his DID and she went on to date his cousin. When he returned to Korea he only ever talked about her fondly since he was able to care about another person freely before DID took over his life. However he doesn’t instigate any romantic contact with her and he’s only concerned for her because Shin Se Gi will try to hurt those close to him. She on the other hand seems to enjoy the idea of having a pining love because when CDH doesn’t show any interest in her she becomes angry and tries to keep him tied to her by showing up unexpectedly at his house, breaking up with her BF, and secretly trying to get them engaged. She gets shot down hard and CDH sees right through her for the manipulative, possessive person she is.

The second lead is Oh Ri On, Oh Ri Jin’s adopted “twin” brother. Though it was established in the beginning that he had romantic feelings towards ORJ this was pushed aside to focus on his brotherly support and protectiveness. The only time he intervenes between the couple is when his sister is kidnapped. Fearing for her safety he demands that CDH stay away from her so she will be safe and no longer have to deal with the pain of her past. However when ORJ decides to stay with CHD because she loves him and wants to help him uncover his past he respects her decision. Though it pains him he decides to put her first and just become the best brother in world. YOU RULE OPPA!

4. That OTP tho…

Cha Do Hyun and Oh Ri Jin how do I love thee let me count the ways…

My babies, my sweet beautiful babies whom I love and hold in my heart forever. They portrayed a beautiful couple with a painful past and managed to turn it into a beautiful future. Their fate was tied when they were kids and sealed when they met again as adults. The reason why I don’t think there were any true second leads was because of their devotion to each other right from the beginning.

(This is the face that says “i like you”)

When they meet again outside the hospital Cha Do Hyun’s interest and attraction is obvious as is hers thought they both do there best to keep it from each other. As the drama progresses and they end up living together they become comfortable with each other and show skinship easily. Their romantic destiny is sealed when CDH ignores Shin Se Gi’s warning to stay away from ORJ and goes in for not just one but two kisses ( a rarity in the KDrama world- AND NO ONE AWKWARDLY WIDENED THEIR EYES AND KEPT THEM OPEN AS THEY KISSED!!!!) The fact they are open with each other, help each other and overcome great obstacles seals this couples fate as one of the greats in Kdrama history. 

5. That Oh family tho…

Oh Ri Jin’s adopted family is one of the greatest families ever. From Mama Oh’s gruff but gentle love, Papa Oh’s silly but wise words and Oh Ri On’s teasing but protective affection proves that imperfect but happy families can exist. They rescued their daughter from a life threatening situation and swear to raise her and protect her. They never once treat her less than own their flesh and blood child and support ORJ’s choice about her career and her love life while never being overly intrusive. For raising and protecting a beautiful child kamsamida!

6. That medical accuracy tho…

Medical done right. One of my many issues with medical dramas (and it’s little tiny minor thing with a HUGE IMPACT) is the fact they bulldoze right over the doctor patient confidentially. Yes I understand you need to progress your dramas plot line by having the doctor reveal the secret illness but work hard to think of a more creative reveal. KMHM main psychiatrist read the oath and wore in on his chest, never telling CHD family why he had been visiting him for so many years. They also take their time in explaining DID and how each of the different personalities work. Also since ORJ is a psychiatrist she was easily able to identify that CDH had DID. Thank you for not dumbing down a smart character for sake of the plot.

7. The child abuse…

One of the most serious themes of this show was the physical and mental abuse CDH and ORJ went through as children and the main reason for their trauma and CDHs DID. It was powerful and I think I was not alone in the anger I felt watching CDH’s father abuse ORJ in order to punish his son who ends up having mental damage. Abuse is not a topic that was glossed over lightly and it showed that everyone involved in the abuse, even those who just watched and ignored it were guilty of the crime (basically why I hated the entirety of Seungjin Group). When CDHs father woke up from his coma CDH didn’t allow him to play the victim for a moment and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with him. ORJ as well told her abuser if she ever forgave him it would be for the sake of bringing peace to Shin Se Gi and Cha Do Hyun who had to suffer and atone for his sins. It would never be for his peace of mind. 

Thank you to all the fans that came together to donated a little over $20, 000 to abused children because of this show. You are all amazing and have my deepest respect.

8. Those personalities tho…

Like I would forget to talk about the 7! All the personalities were amazing like I said earlier Ji Sung did an amazing job and I cried when each one left in order to give CDH peace. 

(I also do fan service ;) kekeke)

Shin Se Gi the personality who was the most hurt because he took all the painful memories of the past was aggressive but with the heart of a little boy who just wanted to be loved. This character was cool, sexy, and stylish. He and ORJ shared many deep and hilarious moments (rap scene anyone) He proved to be ORJs protector and grudgingly left only after CHD promised to remain strong and protect their girl. “You are me, I am you”

Yo Na won everyone’s heart (except her Oppa’s) with her antics and pink lip gloss and school uniform.She became so popular they even had real fans showup to cheer her on as she chased Oh Ri On down the street. Obsessed with handsome oppas (especially Oh Ri On) she took on CDHs stress. She and ORJ had a dueling sisters relationship, calling each other wench. After taking picture with her oppa and kissing him Yo Na departed to join her twin Yo Seob and it was sad to her go. I was happy to see her back in the body of a real girl who of course fell in love with her Oppa right away chasing him out of the bookstore.

Yo Seob was the suicidal but genius personality. Unlike his twin sister he’s introverted and prefers book and classical music. The gentlest personality he is the reason ORJ decides to become CDH personal doctor. Because CHD tried to kill himself at 17 Yo Seob was created and I wish they had also touched on this topic but with so much going on I understand why they didn’t. His goodbye happened early in ep 18 and he waited for his twin to show up before leaving permanently. 

Perry Park was the bomb making, boat obsessed, just trying to have one beer personality. The oldest personality Perry was fun and turned out to be the representation of CDHs father before he became abusive. Being the first to leave he dispenses wisdom to ORJ telling her to “be healthy and live freely” with CDH. His antics were hilarious and I was happy he finally drank his beer.

Nana the youngest personality was created in memory of ORJ. She was created at the same time as Shin Se Gi but only surfaced when CDH met ORJ. Born from the guilt and belief that she was dead Nana only ever appeared as a bear who turned out was the real Nana (talk about plot twists) and her real name was Cha Do Hyun (the plot twist that has us clutching our hearts and gasping for air).

Mr. X the mysterious personality finally showed up in the final episode. Dressed as a magician with a briefcase he was created to guide Nana as he was her father. Though his appearance didn’t have a huge impact on the already tied loose ends he was the “father” of ORJ and CDH promises to protect and cherish ORJ. Satisfied he and Nana leave together.

Thank you to entire cast and crew of Kill Me Heal Me you all worked so hard and it shows through the amazing fans you have! You all deserve all the awards!!!!


ME: this is my first Magcon imagine hope y'all enjoy it… And btw sorry (not sorry) for the ending :)

“Matthew please I didn’t know!” I said to my maybe ex-boyfriend Matthew Espinosa. He was ignoring me.
“Guys what’s going on?” Cameron asked and I looked to see Cam, Nash and Carter looking at us. I hated this.
“Matt just talk to me please!” I begged with tears in my eyes. I haven’t actually heard him talk since he left for tour 3 weeks ago.
He was ignoring my calls, texts and me in general.
All because I didn’t call him when he left.
I didn’t know to do that! For me, it was always call me first or not. There was no me calling first because I just got used to being called… Not being the caller.
“Now you want to talk?! What about the other times? You didn’t want to talk then! Well it’s too late to talk Y/N!” He yelled at me and the tears fell. The room grew silent and the guys looked confused.
“Matthew I didn’t know! I’m sorry! I tried to call but by that time you were ignoring me! I love you I swear!” I shouted back at him and he rolled his eyes.
“Fuck you Y/N. I’m done. We’re over just leave.” He said walking away to his room.
“No Matt stop! Please it won’t ever happen again I promise!” I pleaded grabbing his arm lightly and he swung around quickly.
He looked irritated.
“Get the fuck out! Guys get her she’s crazy!” He told them and Cameron grabbed my arm.
“Y/N I think it’s time to leave.” He said softly and I was shocked.
“Cameron…” I said and he gave me a look saying ‘we could do this the easy way or the hard way.’
“Matthew why did you make me fall for you if you were gonna do this to me all along?!” I yelled and it was like he was laughing at me.
Soon Cameron threw me over his shoulder and led me to the front door. (Which was totally unnecessary)
He lightly pushed me outside and shut and locked the door.
I was a mess… Just crying pathetically and I was embarrassed.


I was over Matt. Actually I hated Matt with all my heart and I lived happily without seeing his face everyday.
I decided to just forget him and move on with my own career. I’m a singer, actress and Youtuber.
And I realized that dating Matt kinda just threw me off my game and I had to gain it back.
“So Y/N… One last question that everyone wants to know if you don’t mind… Why did you and Matthew Espinosa break up?” The interviewer asked and I laughed.
“Well, some people are just not meant to be and we kinda just figured that out through our miscommunication. The love just stopped. So yeah, we decided to end it.” I said with a smile.
“And do you have eyes on anyone right now?” She asked moving her eyebrows at me. I laughed again.
“No… I’m pretty focused on my career right now… Yet that doesn’t mean I’m not looking.” I said and the interviewer closed us out the interview and soon I went home.


I’ve been up all night working on this song. It was pretty sad and you could already guess who it was about.
My phone went off and I was wondering who the heck was calling me this late or early or whatever.
“Hello?” I asked at the unknown number.
“Hey Y/N this is Gilinsky. Do you know where Matt is?” He asked and a fire grew inside me.
Was he serious?!
“You’re an asshole you know that?” I said angrily.
“Wait what…”
“If this is some kind of sick joke I don’t find it funny! Everyone knows Matt and I broke up and it wasn’t exactly on good terms! So just leave me alone and don’t call me again! Bye!” I yelled in the phone through anger.
“Y/N wai…” Before Jack could finish I hung up on him.
I’ve only met Jack a few times yet the last time got me in trouble with Matt.
Jack came over to do a skit with Matt but he wasn’t there. I told him Matt would be back soon so he just waited.
At the time I was writing a song as well and I guess he couldn’t help but hear it. The next thing I know he’s helping me write a song and we’re getting along great.
Well until Matt came home and told Jack he had to leave and that he’d call him later. And for me… He yelled at how I was cheating. Even though I did nothing of the sort.
Soon I got a call back… It was Jack again.
“Jack seriously leave…”
“Y/N I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you and Matt were broken up. I haven’t seen him in a while and no one ever tells me anything. So you could see how this went south.” He said nervously. I could tell he was telling the truth and I felt bad for lashing out on him.
“Jack it’s fine, I understand. But I don’t know where Matt is or could be so…” I said trailing off.
“Well it’s okay. I guess I’ll talk to you about it then. I mean you are the REAL actor and all.” He said and that was the beginning of a very long conversation.

1 MONTH LATER… (Digitour)

“Truth or dare Y/N?” Carter asked and everyone looked at me with curiosity.
“Truth.” I said and everyone boo’d then calmed down.
“Okay do you still have feelings for Matt or if not do you have feelings for someone?” Carter asked and everyone looked at me with smirks on their faces. I blushed crazily.
“I have absolutely NO feelings for Matt but I do have feelings for someone but I can’t tell.” I said with a smirk. I looked at Gilinsky and saw him looking across at me.
If he only knew that he was the one I had feelings for. He was the one that helped me through everything. Matt, YouTube, Acting… Just everything.
Yet deep down I knew he only saw me as a friend and it hurt but I could never show it.
As we finished up our game of truth or dare we decided it was time to go to bed. As I was walking out to my hotel someone caught me by the hand to turn me around.
At first I thought it was Gilinsky but I was surprised to see Matt looking at me with sincere eyes.
“Oh my gosh Matt what are you doing here?!” I asked and he smiled.
“Well if you look at the list of people on the guest list you’d see I come on tour from this point on.” He said and I rolled my eyes and I began to walk away but he caught me again.
“Y/N we need to talk.” He said looking me in the eyes and he looked serious.
“About what Matt?” I asked even though I couldn’t care less.
“Us. I want…”
“A second chance?” I interrupted and Matt smiled half heartily.
“No Matthew I can’t. It’s just too late I’ve already moved on.” I said and I saw anger, sadness and disappointment in his eyes and it was strange how I didn’t care.
Soon I walked away and went to my room. I got a call and I smiled when I heard Gilinsky on the other line.
“Y/N I heard about Matt. How ya holdin up?” He asked and I smiled lightly.
“I’m fine. But I did realize something.” I said and I prepared myself for what was going to happen next.
“Yeah? And what’s that?” He asked curiously.
“Jack Gilinsky I’m crazy about you and… I just want to know if you’d like to be my boyfriend.” I asked on the phone and the other side went dead and I knew he hung up.
“Jack?” I asked worriedly. I can’t believe it… Did I just ruin us?!
*knock knock knock*
I quickly got up and opened my hotel door before quickly wiping away the tears that I didn’t even realize I had.

I am beyond sick of this BS. Here is my rant for the night. Enjoy.

All of you DELENA SHIPPERS — first of all, back the fuck off of Kat Graham. She is an incredible actor, and her and Ian have some of the most beautiful chemistry I’ve ever seen in two actors. Not to mention, they have an amazing and such caring friendship in their real lives — aside from their acting careers.

As for S7 of TVD demanding to be cancelled by all of these people — all I have to say about that is GROW UP & SUPPORT. My first point is grow up and stop acting like a bunch of kids that didn’t get the candy they wanted. And be a supportive fan — not only supportive to Nina, but also to the entire cast and crew that have spent years giving you the show that you have loved so dearly, but now that you aren’t getting the ending that you wanted you’re wanting them to just give up and cancel their show cause you aren’t getting what you want? Nice fandom. If you are going to fuss and threaten people — then you obviously never gave a shit about the show or the people to begin with. It shows that you simply just wanted it to happen your way, or no way. Which is the most selfish thing I’ve ever seen.

I myself and very sad to be seeing Nina leaving — and the show will be so different without her. But frankly, there are so many other characters that I love and want to see how their story ends. They deserve that. And I honestly am so proud of Nina for making such a decision for herself. She is doing what will make her happy, and further her career the way she wants to. Short and simple, ITS HER CHOICE. so why make her suffer for a choice she made for herself? Please, just drop the issues and let her leave peacefully. She deserves that after all the amazing work she has done for this show.

And I also would love to see Stelena have a goodbye scene that means something. I don’t care who says or swears up and down that it’s DE’s goodbye that’s important, that’s bullshit. The show was built by Stelena’s love. I mean damn, I don’t care how much you love or ship DE — it’s stelena that was real and everyone knows it. I mean fuck — read the damn books. Seriously. It pisses me off beyond words how the writers of the show twist everything around from the original story, the REAL story — just so the fans can get DE. It’s fucking horse shit. Stelena deserves the goodbye scene that means something, way more than DE ever would.

And as for Bonnie and Damon — I love them. As a relationship, as a couple, even their friendship. They have both grown and been through so much the past few years. And they honestly deserve a chance. Because Bonnie was the one person who HATED damon for everything he ever did. But look at her now — no one ever trusts, cares, or even supports him more than her. And that’s the honest truth.

People keep saying that if Bamon happens than it won’t be real or right because Bonnie would just be his second choice to Elena. First of all — not only do you sound like a fucking brainless idiot by even saying something like that — but do you not recall the entire reason that damon even returned to mystic falls? Okay I’ll give you a sec. Think about ittttt. You got it? Yeah, that’s right. It was KATHERINE. she was the one he always wanted – she was the one he did everything for to find – she was the damn reason he wanted to be a vampire (even if stefan was the one that convinced him to go through transition) but if I recall right, the only reason he didn’t want to transition and become immoral was because he touchy Katherine was dead. He wanted to die, just like he thought she did. And then he gets Katherine back — and she doesn’t want him. So what does he do? Goes crazy, goes straight to elena would looks just like Katherine and tries to get with her — and when elena chooses stefan — damon snaps Jeremy’s neck. WOW. yeah, now think about who Damon’s second choice was will you? Enlighten me a little.

Geez people, look at the facts. And not to mention in the books — damon goes and kisses bonnie. Regardless of if he did it after elena chose stefan – it doesn’t matter. Bamon still means something, and I honestly believe that they always will. And she would not be a second choice, elena was the second choice. Which was filled with nothing but sex, killing sprees, more sex, no humanity, a sire bond, and oh yeah - more sex. And yet, yeah that’s epic. Please. Let me go barf right quick.

OHH, and as for steroline. My say is why is the hell would you go and ruin a fucking great friendship by them getting together? I mean really. I wish I could see Caroline have a good friendship with a guy and it stay exactly that — a friendship. I hate that they make Caroline look so slutty and needy. Seriously. Cause every single time she’s had a friendship with a guy — she falls for them. First with Matt, same scenario. Then with Tyler, same thing. Then now with Stefan. The only one that was any different was Klaus. She NEVER had to try to get his attention in any way like she did with the other guys. She even couldn’t stand him for a long period of time, but then she started to let him in and it became real — and the writers probably saw that so they went and made a damn spin off and klaus wasn’t a regular anymore. Hence, no more klaroline. (Even though, I LOVE the originals, no hate to them intended at all) but I am a huge Klaroline shipper, so I am pulling for them in the end. But back to my point. It was interesting and nice to see her not having to fight and work for a guys attention. He went after her because he wanted to, because he saw something special in her.

So, that’s just my take on a few things, thanks for taking the time to read my rant. Maybe you learned a few things. ✌️👌🙌

Just wrote someone a very long email about how The Oscars (and Hollywood in general) work, and I thought I'd put it here
Spoiler alert: making the best picture of the year has nothing to do with whether or not you win an Oscar. What I keep hearing again and again is “Hollywood is all about who you know.”  Which is why breaking in is such a daunting task.  A lot of the TV writers that I’ve read advice from keep saying that the best way to get a job in a TV writer’s room is to know someone who knows the executive producer, or to just go and introduce yourself if you happen to run into them at Starbucks or something.  Which is why I’m hoping that it won’t be too forward and desperate seeming of me if I try begging the executive producers of The Knick to read my spec over Twitter. Anyway.  Getting into “The Academy” is the same way.  If you just look at their webpage, it’s pretty self-explanatory: you get into The Academy because you know someone who is already in The Academy  and they sponsor you for membership, and the members then vote for who gets the awards.  It’s a democracy, but it’s an insider, good-old-boys club where there are serious career incentives to vote for, oh, say Ben Affleck’s big budget Iranian revolution film instead of a superior-in-all-ways indie film created by a first-time director with zero industry clout.  Not to mention that there are huge campaigns that go on behind the scenes, with “for your consideration” ads being run in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter (they’re so annoying this time of year, whenever I go looking at stories about where I might go looking for a job, I’m hit with Benedict Cumberbatch’s face), members are also sent free DVDs and fancy gifts from movie companies looking to curry some favor.  And then there’s the “they’re just a bunch of old White men” factor.  The LA Times broke its membership down:   

     Even if they’re voting objectively, without the nepotism and bribes, this kind of membership is naturally going to favor other White, male made films about White men.  Which explains why Birdman, despite being ridiculously pretentious and just kinda depressing, is likely to win best original screenplay while Cake, an indie movie with a nearly entirely female cast with an absolutely fantastic, clever, beautiful, and touching screenplay, isn’t even likely to be nominated.  It also means that it’s likely to give out Oscars to screenplays and movies that are kind of sexist, racist or homophobic.  Like I was saying earlier, I thought that Quentin Tarantino’s serious over-use of the n-word ruined an otherwise clever screenplay, making it sound like it was written by a ten-year-old who’s just realized he can use swear words when his mother isn’t looking, and I’ve got a lot of Black friends who tell me that it wasn’t even that great a screenplay to begin with.  And like how last year Spike Jonez won best original screenplay for Her, even though the movie was seriously too long, slow, boring, and its gender politics were kinda icky.  Beyond just the whole movie, there are also the kinds of roles available.  Recently, there have been more actors of color winning Oscars than ever, but if you look at the kinds of roles that are being offered, it’s not that great.  Seven Black actresses have won a best acting Oscar, and of those even roles, two have been slaves, one a maid, one an evil welfare queen, and one a woman having an affair with a racist.  Not exactly the most progressive kind of roles, but they’re the kind of roles that White people are used to seeing Black people in, and they’re the kind of roles that White people are going to vote for.  Quite often, when Hollywood actually does write a decent role about a person of Color, it goes to a White actor.  Characters of color in books magically become White on screen.  The lead role of Ghost in the Shell just went to Scarlett Johansen.  Back in classic Hollywood, Anna May Wong, an immensely talented Chinese-American actress, finally had the lead role that was going to give her an Oscar in The Good Earth, but the role went to Louise Rainer, who won the Oscar.     So, Oscar tropes.  There are a few tried-and-true tropes that seem to always work.  The most popular, and the most effective, is to play an iconic famous person.  This year, see Eddie Redmayne as Stephen Hawking.  Biopics are always big winners, and I’ll admit, a lot of the time, they create outstanding performances.  The King’s Speech is another good example of it.  It was a good movie, but I don’t think it was an especially *great* movie.  Another kind of infamous trope is “to go gay.”  Hollywood has a really weird relationship with queer people.  Anywhere there’s a lot of creativity and self-expression, there’s going to be a lot of gay folks coming to be there, so yeah, there are a lot of gay people in Hollywood.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean you get a lot of positive queer representation out of film and TV.  Recently, I talked to several transgender women about how they want to see trans people represented on TV (one of my characters in my TV pilot is a trans girl), and they all told me they were so very tired of the sad, pathetic queer person who does nothing but suffer and then dies.  The Imitation GameDallas Buyers ClubBoys Don’t CryPhiladelphia, they all fall into this trap, and they’re all big Oscar winners (or nominees at least).  Which is why I was freaking out so much to see the TV show Transparent win best comedy series and best comedy actor.  Transparent has a trans character who has a hard time and who struggles with coming out and transitioning late in life, but she ultimately stands on her own and most importantly, doesn’t fucking die.  And then there’s the whole issue of straight actors winning tons and tons of awards for playing gay roles while gay actors are terrified of coming out of the closet and ruining their career (it’s pretty much an open secret that Kevin Spacey is gay, but you haven’t heard a word of that from him, have you?).  Which is again why Matt Bomer, who is openly gay, winning a Golden Globe for a gay role, was also a really big deal.   and then there’s the role of women on the production half of Hollywood.  It’s still an overwhelming boys club.  Normally, I wouldn’t write (or even watch) campy melodrama for broadcast TV prime time, but I absolutely would change my style if I could get a chance to work with Shonda Rhimes.  She has three hit shows on air right now, is a titan of the industry, and is big on supporting other women in the industry.  That’s the kind of career support I might not get anywhere else.  But, as TV platforms continue to broaden, hopefully there will be more room for female screenwriters and female showrunners.  Orange is the New Black and Transparent, on Netflix and Amazon, respectively, both have female showrunners, have a solid core of female characters, and likely wouldn’t have gotten made if it weren’t for Netflix and Amazon being desperate for quality original programming.  The sudden boom of Netflix and other streaming services is a huge fucking deal for the entertainment industry because without the limitations on how programming is delivered, you no longer have to pander to the lowest common denominator and make TV and movies guaranteed to appeal to the widest possible audience.   There is a real breakdown of economics here: there are only so many network TV channels and so many time slots during the day.  Just the same, there are only so many movie theaters out there with only so many seats.  They aren’t going to waste precious space on something that’s got a somewhat narrow audience.  With Netflix and other streaming services, suddenly, that limit is completely removed, and suddenly people are *shocked* to realize that women want to watch stories about women, people of color want to watch other people of colors, and queers want to watch other queers.  And if it’s an especially good story, people from other groups might just join in.  Orange is the New Black may not have as massive an audience as How I Met Your Mother, but it’s a good enough show that people really do care about it and are passionate about seeing it do well, and want to see more TV shows like it.  So TV is really having a huuuuge moment where showrunners are king, original content is everything, and new voices are finally being heard.  Movies might just eventually catch up.  The Interview did absurdly well being streamed, much better than it would have just being in theaters.  I’m really wondering why the hell more movie companies aren’t going for the release to Netflix distribution method because movie theaters are a pain in the ass, and when I want to see a movie, I want to see it *now.* (cough, I um didn’t exactly pay to watch most of this season’s movies when I probably should have paid.  Seriously if movie companies want to compete with online piracy, they need to start making movies more available.  I’d have paid if they were on Netflix).  So if movies ever gain the democratizing effect that streaming has had on TV, you should be seeing much more diverse awards in the future, but it’s going to be slow going.   So yes there’s a long lesson on diversity in Hollywood and just what a clusterfuck of nepotism Hollywood really is.  I can’t wait to work there.
Some Swifties need to read this!


(Note: Submission)

Kim Kardashian’s Taylor Swift-Kanye West Snapchat story, explained

Kim Kardashian’s Taylor Swift Snapchat is proof that Swift might be a cold-blooded pop star.

Fourteen years ago, when Taylor Swift was just 12, a woman named Whitney Houston asked for the receipts. It was a simple request. Journalist Diane Sawyer had asked Houston to comment on an alleged $730,000 drug problem.

“I wanna see the receipts.” Houston calmly replied, daring Sawyer to come up with an itemized list of purchases from Houston’s alleged dealer. She repeated: “I wanna see the receipts.”

The logic: No matter how off Houston might have seemed at the time, she wanted to see proof that she was consuming enough illegal substances to pay for a one-bedroom Manhattan apartment. Sawyer could not manifest that proof. And even if Houston was most likely not of sound mind, no one had the receipts to pin her down.

On that glorious day, the concept of receipts — the damning, smoking-gun evidence that something occurred — was created. It wasn’t common to demand “receipts” yet, but it would be. Taylor Swift, then 12, had no idea that Kim Kardashian would one day release the most damning pop music receipts in recent memory: Taylor Swift lied about Kanye West, and there’s video to prove it.

Kim Kardashian released THE conversation between Kanye and Taylor Swift on Snapchat

On Sunday night, Kardashian posted a series of videos on Snapchat in which West, her husband, was talking to Swift on the phone about his song “Famous” — a song that Swift has labeled as offensive and derogatory. Because Snapchat is a strange beast and everything on the social media platform is temporary, here is a (hopefully more permanent) video of what Kim posted, as recorded by a Kanye West fan Twitter account:

(snapchat recording)

In it, you can hear West clearly talking to Swift about his song in a really polite voice. She’s pretty cordial too.

“I really appreciate you telling me about it. That’s really nice,” she says. “It’s all very tongue-in-cheek either way.”

If you’re just tuning in to the ongoing drama between Swift, West, and Kardashian, the video looks like two friends chatting. To unlock the full, swirling vortex of feuds you actually have to go all the way back to the beginning of the year.

In February, Swift and West had a very public fight over lyrics he rapped in “Famous,” then a new song. During West’s fashion show/album drop live event at Madison Square Garden, he dropped a verse about having sex with Swift someday, because he believes he made her famous:

I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex

Why? I made that bitch famous

God damn

I made that bitch famous

Swift took offense to this. In a statement to the press, her team said the lyrics were inappropriate, noting, “Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single ‘Famous’ on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message.”

West responded with a series of Twitter posts saying that Swift’s statement was bullshit and that he had specifically told Swift about the lyrics prior to the song’s release. He added that he even got approval from Swift, saying the lyric was her idea:

The fight between the two became a he-said-she-said version of events that culminated in a Grammys speech wherein Swift famously shaded West, implying that he was trying to take credit for her success.

“As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I want to say to all the young women out there, there will be people along the way who will try to undercut your success,” she said. “Or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.”

Essentially, this new video from Snapchat shows that Swift is being inconsistent, or not telling the entire truth. This video contradicts Swift and her publicist’s claim that West didn’t call Swift to get her approval of the “Famous” lyrics, and that she tried to talk him out of releasing the song and the verse.

“If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, ‘Look, he called me and told me about the line,’” she says in the recording — a sentence that’s so out of line with the public feud we’ve been watching ever since, you’d think it would be made up.

Swift says the video only tells one side of the story

To be clear: The video that Kardashian posted is edited. Due to the nature of Snapchat, which limits the length of continuous video you can post, there are several jump cuts and stops and starts. It’s possible that Kardashian could have simply omitted any portions that were unfavorable to West. But for the most part it doesn’t appear that Swift’s words are spliced together or edited in a misleading way — the videos use her full sentences.

After Kardashian posted the recording to Snapchat on Sunday, Swift posted a response on Instagram, explaining that though she was cordial and encouraging when West called her to discuss the song, West ultimately pulled a bait and switch on her:

Swift’s story changes a bit. In that initial denial, ​she​ made it sound like there was no conversation with West — just a plea ​for her​ to release the song on Twitter. If you go by that account, all the politeness that’s seen ​in the video isn’t supposed to exist.

​But now that Kardashian made Swift and West’s conversation public, Swift’s ​new story is that when she and West talked, he didn’t tell her he was going to call her a “bitch.” She says he didn’t give her the full story on the phone. In the recording, she and West discuss the line “I think me and Taylor might still have sex” and West saying that he made Swift famous, but not the part where West calls her “that bitch.”

“While I wanted to be supportive of Kanye on the phone call, you cannot ‘approve’ of a song you haven’t heard,” Swift wrote on Instagram on Sunday. “Being falsely painted as a liar when I was never given the full story or played any part of the song is character assassination.”

This fight is really about Taylor Swift’s image

Taylor Swift and her success are a strange phenomenon. Critics and her biggest fans will openly tell you that she doesn’t have the best voice or the best technical skills. Her songwriting, while impossibly catchy, isn’t mind-blowing or complex.

What she’s fantastic at is creating songs that crystallize a messy, usually teenage feeling that somehow speaks to everyone, even people who have never felt it, and weave it in with slips of her personal life. The personal life part of that skill is crucial.

Every song she’s released throughout her career, every post she’s shared on social media — it’s all helped paint a portrait of Swift as your best friend. Her latest album, her tour, her Instagram photos, and her Facebook posts are all wrapped around the fantasy of being her pal and joining her coven of female friendship. With some pop stars, you want to be them; with Taylor Swift, you just wanna hang out with her.

Kardashian’s Snapchat video cuts through that veneer — throwing doubt on what your BFF Taylor Swift is telling you, making you wonder, well, if Taylor could lie about that conversation with West, what else could she be lying about?

The timing of this Snapchat is interesting too. Kardashian was featured in GQ last month, where she addressed Swift, West, and the song. She maintained that Swift knew about the song:

“She totally approved that,” Kim says, shaking her head in annoyance. “She totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t. I swear, my husband gets so much shit for things [when] he really was doing proper protocol and even called to get it approved.” Kim is on a roll now, speaking faster and more animatedly than at any other point during our time together. “What rapper would call a girl that he was rapping a line about to get approval?”

And on Sunday’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, this interview was teased out. To be fair, Kardashian isn’t just releasing this video to clear her husband and her name — she (and her team) knows how to market a video-fueled scandal.

Further, Swift’s ex, Calvin Harris, had some not-so-nice things to say about Swift after it was revealed that she co-wrote one of his songs. It was implied that Harris never gave her the credit.

“I know you’re off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy [Perry, who was part of a feud with Swift and the alleged subject of Swift’s song "Bad Blood”] but I’m not that guy, sorry,“ Harris tweeted. "I won’t allow it.”

Harris paints Swift as cold and calculating. Her fights, Harris suggests, aren’t organic, free-range fights that happen out of nowhere. Instead, he implies they are actually planned out in advance, as marketing stunts.

Swift’s celebrity hinges on the air of authenticity, which means her feuds are supposed to be real. They’re supposed to be genuine stories of her being wronged. They’re supposed to involve her showing all of us that even our best friend can get angry, and that we need to stick up for her.

And when it comes to Swift’s feuds, none of them compare to her ongoing feud with Kanye West.

Swift has, since that infamous Video Music Awards interruption in 2009, cast Kanye as a bully to her innocence, a liar to her truth teller. At the 2016 Grammys, she accused him of trying to take credit for her fame. Now she’s been recorded not only being nice and cordial to him about his song but also insinuating that it’d be good marketing for her and Kanye.

“You guys wanna call this a feud, you wanna call this throwing shade,” she imagines herself saying to reporters and fans. “But right after the song comes out I’m gonna be on a Grammy red carpet and they’re gonna ask me about it and I’m gonna be like, he called me.”

Hearing Taylor Swift think out loud about how to spin the story, to me, is more damaging than learning that Taylor Swift lied about Kanye West. It’s very possible that she thought taking offense to “Famous” would be better for her career than showing the public that she and Kanye have patched things up. Harris’s Twitter outburst also makes that point — that there’s no hard feelings, just a savvy album and marketing strategy.

Kim Kardashian’s Snapchat video reveals a Taylor Swift and Kanye West interaction that we didn’t know existed. But it also confirms that underneath the thick coating of bubblegum pop known as Taylor Swift, there’s a shrewd, savvy woman who puts a lot of effort into shaping and maintaining her public image — a person who we sort of knew existed but never really had the proof. Until now.

Fic: Klaine Advent Day 2: “Broadway”

A/N: I’m going to write a continuous story in 24 chapters throughout the month. It’s gonna have a title too as soon as I can think of one. I’m going to put it up on the AO3 then too.

Previous chapter: anniversary

Blaine’s Saturday ends up being quite good. He doesn’t join Sam and Mercedes, who seem to be doing fine without him. Instead, he hangs out at the counter, has a cronut that Sam pays for and a piece of cheesecake that Kurt recommends. He also has a lot of coffee, and a lot of really amazing conversation.

Kurt has the best sense of humor, he’s smart, his laugh is the most beautiful sound Blaine has ever heard, and he has excellent taste in music and television. They never run out of things to talk about, and Kurt always comes back to him when his tables are quiet. It’s a slow day anyway since classes only start next week and the usual NYU theater crowd that hangs out here is only just trickling back into the city over the weekend.

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