i swear that i don't just have muse songs for this

anonymous asked:

Well, this is kinda angsty, but can I request a scenario where zen & mc are together and in the last rfa party zen slept with jaehee and after a few days jaehee couldn't deal with the blame and told mc in front of all rfa but MC pretended not to believe her (andthenrfa*cof*saeran*cof*tryingtocomforther). This is ridiculously specific, i know lolol but feel free if you don't want to do it, it's okay, or if you want to change anything just do it 😅 I love love love your blog and your writing ❤❤❤❤❤

Ok so this post actually ended up being realllly long and I don’t know how to do the ‘read more’ thing so I’m really sorry to anyone trying to scroll by
Oops 

And I’m so glad you like my writing, and I’m also really glad I got this request because at first I wasn’t sure how to write it (I basically ended up writing a fanfiction using bullet points haha oops) but I had a lot of fun doing it.

Disclaimer: I don’t think Zen would ever cheat and I actually don’t think Jaehee has any romantic feelings for him, just admiring adoration.

And I know you said I could change things
but it’s rlly angsty 
and I’m an angst monster and I kinda love it sooo i’m gonna keep it exactly how you wrote it  

let’s do it

  • Zen had always been flirty with you
  • And at some point..you had started flirting back
  • And soon it was more than flirting and you found yourself head over heels for each other
  • Constant phone calls too each other where you’d gush over how you wished you could see each other
  • Good morning and Goodnight texts
  • The occasional shameless flirt in the public chat
  • Once you two met at the first RFA party it was like a scene from a Disney movie, you two all but ran to each other and he swung you around once he snagged you in a tight embrace
  • Looking into his eyes you swore this could be love
  • He did too.
  • He really did swear he was in love with you
  • You were everything he had hoped and more
  • You were the person that woke him up everyday and put a smile on his face, you were the person that he thought of when love songs came on the radio, when he was on stage you were his muse, when he lay down to sleep at night you were the final thought in his head, and the first one in his dreams.
  • The next RFA party was a few months after you two had first met in person, only a couple months into your very happy relationship
  • You two had spent the first half of the night joined at the hip, happily enjoying each other’s company.
  • But somewhere throughout the nights timeline you both got distracted by separate guests and acquaintances and wandered away from each other.
  • Zen started drinking. Whoever he was talking to kept egging him on and the two of them were having a good ole time, which is rare for Zen in these occasions because the guests are usually upper class aristocrats like Jumin or if they are there for Zen, it’s as fans instead of friends
  • So he thought he’d treat himself
  • It got to be a bit much
  • The other guests were starting to notice and Jumin was not going to have the press covering Zen’s drunken gusto at an RFA event
  • “Assistant Kang,” Jumin sauntered over to Jaehee while keeping his eyes on Zen. “please escort Hyun to the back where he can cool down, out of the cameras’ lines of sight.”
  • “Of course, Mr. Han” And Jaehee was off. She was relieved that she had an excuse to get Zen out of the room, she too recognized the bad press that could follow this event but felt she hadn’t had the authority to tell Zen otherwise
  • But under the guise of Jumin’s will, she was able to convince Zen to head to the back so ‘Jumin wouldn’t bitch’ (in the words of the actor).
  • Soon it was just the two of them in the back room, Jaehee giving Zen water as he yanked at his shirt collar, complaining it was hot.
  • In his drunken shenanigens he managed to undo all his buttons at some point while Jaehee was getting more water, so she came back to shirtless Zen.
  • Zen knew those eyes.
  • As the assistant stared at his pectorals with a slight blush on her cheeks, he looked into her eyes and saw something
  • Adoration. Admiration. Want.
  • She wanted him.
  • Somewhere, deep in his psyche, behind the pseudo narcissist wall, 10 year old Hyun Ryu craved the attention. The positive attention his mom said he’d never get
  • He had you
  • But in that moment he had Jaehee too, and he couldn’t turn that down
  • Jaehee doesn’t even know how it initiated, she just recalls Zen pressing her against the wall and kissing her with a passion she’s never felt before.
  • His hands undoing the buttons of her shirt
  • His lips whispering praises of how she was not only successful, but also beautiful. And so sweet. And smart. And-
  • She almost cried. Someone as talented as Zen saw something so great in someone as plain as her? Impossible.
  • But he kept assuring her, and touching her, and loving her
  • Loving her the way he should have been loving you
  • The guilt hit her, but she watched it disappear as ecstasy took over
  • Zen passed out once they were both finished, pants undone and shirt wide open, but eyes closed and soft breaths flying in and out of his lips
  • Jaehee was wide awake though.
  • She was leaning against the wall, clothes messily pulled back on and tears threatening her eyes
  • The guilt was back and it felt like the weight of the world’s biggest mistake was sitting on her shoulders
  • She put her hands over her mouth as she stared at Zen, and she started crying when she thought of you.
  • “What have I done?”
  •  
  • After every party, the RFA gets together a few days later to go over logistics. What worked, what didn’t, who came, how to convince more people to come, etc
  • Jaehee’s heart dropped as you and Zen walked in together, a bright smile on your face, a blank slate on his.
  • No not blank
  • When Jaehee met his crimson eyes she saw it, the same thing he probably saw in her eyes: Guilt. Remorse. Regret.
  • She could barely stomach the feel as you greeted her and hugged her
  • “Jaehee! Good to see you! I feel like we didn’t get to talk much at the party thanks to someone making a little scene” As you pulled away you playfully rolled your eyes towards Zen. 
  • He just gave a nervous chuckle
  • Jaehee opened her mouth, ready to spill her guts, only to find it was dry as cotton. 
  • You gave her a quizzical look, ready to ask what was wrong, but Jumin’s voice interrupted with “Shall we begin?” looking pointedly at the three of you.
  • “Yahoo~” Seven cheered as he plopped down next to Saeran, who had recently been getting dragged along to all the RFA meetings, given he tended to just sit in the corner and pout.
  • Much like right now. He did little more than look at you and nod, which was as courteous a greeting as you were going to get with him.
  • Yoosung nodded, signaling everyone was ready, and the discussion began
  •  
  • You all were about 30 minutes into the conversation
  • Except for Jaehee
  • She couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the night of the party
  • She couldn’t stop looking at you and feeling guilty
  • She couldn’t stop thinking about telling you
  • “I need water” She stood up abruptly, startling everyone a bit
  • Jumin had a bit of an annoyed look on his face but conceded with “Fine. Quick 5 minute break for everyone”
  • Jaehee booked it to the kitchen
  • “Uh…I’m thirsty too.” Cue Zen bee-lining after her.
  • “Are you Okay??” He asked in a harsh whisper
  • “No I’m not okay!” Jaehee hissed back “We…we have to tell her.”
  • “No!” Zen’s eyes widened “No. You and I both know it was a mistake that will never happen again. She doesn’t need to know.”
  • “Zen if you love her-”
  • “I do love her!” He snapped back “I love her which is why I can’t lose her Jaehee. I know we messed up, I do. But..I can’t lose her over my mistakes” His eyes were pleading even more than his voice
  • Jaehee just stared into the crimson orbs, feeling the knot in her stomach grow. She just weakly nodded.
  • There was a moment of silence before she chugged her glass of water and turned to head back towards the living room where everyone was seated
  • She took a strong stride in
  • She bit her tongue
  • She was not going to-
  • You were the first face she met walking back in
  • Your smile welcoming her back to the circle
  • Your eyes cheery
  • Your heart open to her as it had been since the first day even when she treated you coldly.
  • Zen was right behind Jaehee and nearly bumped into her when she stopped dead in her tracks
  • “Jaehee?” You and he called at the same time, him due to her abrupt stop, and you because of the tears suddenly pouring from her eyes.
  • “Jaehee what’s wrong?” You rushed to her, attracting everyone’s attention
  • You caught Zen’s face from over her shoulder, his eyes wide. Knowing.
  • “M-MC” Jaehee choked out
  • “W-What is it?” You asked worriedly taking her trembling hands in yours
  • “MC” Her voice fell. There was just a moment of silence. Everyone in the room was looking, the outburst had even taken a hold of Saeran’s full attention.
  • “Zen and I…we’ve done something awful” 
  • You knew what she was suggesting but..no. No you didn’t. No way that’s what she meant you’re just confusing things.
  • “…What did you do?” You asked cautiously
  • Sniffling. Endless sniffling. You looked to Zen, who was pale and looked like he was also ready to cry.
  • “Zen…what happened?”
  • “I’m so sorry” He managed to get out before the lump in his throat clogged his vocal cords.
  • “At the party MC we- we had….” Jaehee couldn’t get the filthy three letter word out of her mouth
  • You dropped her hands and looked to Zen
  • “MC I’m so sorry” Zen repeated, his voice shaking even more
  • Everyone was quiet, waiting for your response
  • You had none. Just an empty stare and mouth slightly agape, waiting for words to come out of their own accord
  •  Finally they did
  • “This is a really cruel joke to play” You feigned a very obvious forced smile as your eyes blinked back tears “I never thought you guys would do such a thing..haha” You wiped a way a small drop ready to roll down your cheek
  • “MC!” Jaehee exclaimed “This isn’t-”
  • “Jaehee.” Your voice dropped. “I really don’t find this funny.”
  • “Neither do I!” The brown haired girl went to take your hand again but you pulled away
  • “And Zen” You turned to him “I don’t- I don’t know..how…” You couldn’t finish the sentence
  • They were everywhere. Pouring down your face, flooding your eyes, gathering in a small pool at your chin. It was an onslaught of tears rolling down your cheeks, choking your words, your thoughts, your everything.
  • “MC” Zen reached out to you, only to have his hand swatted away by yours.
  • You just stared at him and cried, forcing him to look you in the eyes as your faux smile fell to pieces. 
  • You felt a hand softly fall upon your shoulder, and you turned to see Seven looking at you, apologetic pity in his eyes. Saeran stood behind him, wearing an angrier version of his twin’s sentiment. 
  • “Let’s go for a ride, get some fresh air, huh MC?” The red head’s voice was soft
  • You softly nodded and let him guide you towards the door, not even able to muster up to energy to look back at Jaehee and Zen. 
  • Saeran did however, and he looked back towards the two with a face full of disgust, up until the moment he slammed the door
  • “what a good meeting” Jumin grumbled under his breath as he turned a disdainful eye towards Zen
  •  
  • You drove for a couple hours probably. Most of it in silence, but a comfortable one. You were in the passenger seat and Saeran was in the back, Seven at the wheel finding desolate roads and flying down them, giving the wind of your open window some sort of purifying feeling. It stung, but it felt good. Your hair whipped around and the land raced by and you occasionally sobbed but that was ok.
  • Eventually you found yourself back at the Chois’ place, sitting on the couch, staring at a TV playing a movie that you hadn’t been paying attention to for the last hour. Your mind was elsewhere, wondering what you had done wrong.
  • You looked at the carton of ice cream in your hand, only doing so because the sight of Saeran setting his own empty one on the coffee table had triggered you to remember Seven had given you your own carton to drown your sorrows in.
  • The redhead had actually gone out to buy more, so it was just you and Saeran on the black leather couch staring at the TV screen.
  • “Do you want this?” You offered the ice cream to Saeran who’s expression turned from bored to surprised, probably because you’d been silent for the past six hours aside from a sob here and there.
  • “You don’t want it?”
  • “I’m not hungry”
  • He stared at you and the carton for a second, his face unreadable.
  • He wanted to insist you eat the ice cream, because personally he found it to always make him feel better, but he figured you didn’t want to hear it.
  • He took the carton from your hands and placed it on the table in front of you two
  • Silence aside from the noise of the TV.
  • He cast a glance to you, only to find your eyes on the floor.
  • “doyou wantalk” You barely understood what he said it was so quiet
  • “What?” You looked to him
  • He thought you were asking out of surprise rather than inaudibility and “My therapist…he says that talking things out makes you feel better.” He looked indignant for a moment, likely remembering how stupid he felt when he rejected the idea only to find later that his therapist had been correct
  • “I…I have nothing to say” Your shell of a voice whispered
  • Saeran furrowed his brows at you. “Say you hate them”
  • “What?”
  • His voice raised a bit “You hate them don’t you? So say it. The therapist said talk about your feelings so start there. They’re scumbags who hurt you and deser-”
  • “No!” You’re voice hit a volume it hadn’t reached in hours. “I don’t hate them!”
  • Saeran was mixed with confusion and anger “What do you mean you don’t hate them? One of your best friends and your boyfriend fucked-”
  • There it was
  • Someone finally said it.
  • The hot tears made a return and began rolling down your cheeks as sudden sobs erupted from your mouth
  • Saeran was alarmed at the sudden show and tried to pinpoint the trigger. He supposes it could be his last sentence but it’s not as if it wasn’t something we all knew.
  • “I….I don’t hate them” You cried once the worst of the sobs subsided.”I don’t even think I want to hate them. I mean it’d be easier but…I don’t. Jaehee…it’s not her fault. She just..got wrapped up in it all. And she’s always liked Zen. How could she have said no. And he..he was drunk” You sputtered out your rationalizations to find that they only annoyed Saeran
  • “The Assistant should still no better. But fine. You know what? She’s not dating you, and clearly she triggered you finding out the truth. So let’s pretend she’s ok? What about the actor? I don’t care that he was drunk. There’s no excuse for him doing that!” The white haired boys voice had become louder and louder, fists clenching tighter and tighter as he began riling up old feelings of betrayal he once felt. “He abandoned you! He left you in the dust and for what? He failed you!”
  • You don’t know when it happened but Saeran had turned towards you and grabbed your hands, squeezing them tight in between his own. His mouth was contorted into some sort of snarl and you saw a fire raging behind his minty eyes. 
  • “Saeran..you’re hurting my hands” You squeaked out.
  • Your small voice dragged him out of whatever memory he was reliving and he sort of faded back into reality with a few blinks of his eyes before turning his attention to his hands. He let go of yours and in a flat voice uttered a “sorry”.
  • You guys were silent again, just staring at the floor, both living in whatever sad memory chose to cross your brains.
  • “You deserve better is all” He finally said.
  • “I know” You replied, voice empty of any real feeling.
  • You looked up, staring at the TV but not actually watching as a man on a horse offered a hand towards a young woman. “I just can’t stop thinking about him. About the him I fell in love with. Is he really gone?”
  • Saeran followed your gaze to the TV, looking on as the girl hopped on the horse. “I think so. That’s assuming he was the guy you thought he was at any point.”
  • “He was.” You said, a little defensive. Saeran looked towards you, watching your emotionless expression, knowing that there was a storm underneath despite the calm appearance. He knew because he often did the same, rocking a stoic appearance while watching all hell break loose in his own head.
  • “Is this the part where I say ‘It gets better’?” 
  • “Do you believe that it does?”
  • “Not a fuckin’ chance” A bitter smirk twisted his lips 
  • “I appreciate the honesty” You sighed
  • “Not in the way that we think it will anyway” He looked off into space somewhere.
  • “Hm?” You turned to him
  • “Everyone imagines that one day soon they’re going to wake up and suddenly it’s not going to hurt anymore. That there’s gonna be a day when you don’t think about this. You’re always gonna think about it. You’re always gonna wonder what you did wrong. Why God hates you. What things would be like if it didn’t happen.”
  • “You don’t think that there can be a day when it all feels ok?” You ask, partially to heal your hopeless heart, and partially because you see Saeran is projecting his own feelings and you’re curious to know how he feels.
  • “Maybe. I haven’t hit it yet though. Doubt I will.” 
  • You stared as he looked off into the distance, feeling as if you could see the scenes of his past playing in his eyes.
  • You were just about to recede back into your ball of depression and hopelessness before he spoke again and took your attention
  • “But that’s me. You’re…you, MC” your questioning look prompted him to continue “You’re…a good person.”
  • “You are to-” You went to say but he cut you off by turning and leaning towards you with a new intensity in his face.
  • “Not like you. If at all” He scoffed. “ You though, everyone loves you. And they’re right too. Because…” suddenly he stopped himself, seeming to turn a little shy.
  • “Because?” You wanted, no, needed to hear this.
  • He gulped down his fear and turned his eyes to the side, unable to look at you as he delivered his next few words, scared of you seeing through him even more than you usually do. 
  • “MC, you’re..everything. You’re smart, you’re cute, and you’re …kind. You always know what to say to help everyone. And that’s the thing. You try to help people, even people trying to hurt you…” His eyes turned back to you “You saw a good in me even when I didn’t. You risked your life to help my brother to save me. You’re…kind of like an angel.”
  • You just stared, taken aback by such kind words, from Saeran of all people. 
  • You were right to be surprised, he wasn’t usually this smooth in conveying his feelings verbally…there must have just been something about you that made it easy for him to talk.
  • “If it gets better for anyone, it’ll be for you, MC” He reached for your hand out of instinct, but pulled back instantly when your skin touched, as if he just realized what he was doing. His eyes did the same, it looked like he just realized how vulnerable he was in that moment, and a sort of wall was raised behind his irises and his whole body tensed a bit.
  • He was scared of being rejected.
  •  …
  • Your hand slowly reached out to his, which was floating in the space between you two, and when he didn’t pull back, you interlaced your fingers together. 
  • A look of awe decorated both of your faces.
  • “Thank you…Saeran.” The light of the TV bounced off your wet eyes, making them look extra glossy.
  • The boy just looked at you, wide eyed, apprehensive for a moment, then nodded and tightened his grip on your hand. It wasn’t the same anger induced bear trap grip from when he grabbed them before. Now it was just firm, reassuring, like a hug.
  • “MC…things will get better for you. If not? I’ll make them.” He gave a subtle squeeze of the hand, giving you the nostalgic feeling of a pinky promise.
  • “You already did.” You let your head, heavy from spinning and sobbing all day, fall on his shoulder.
  • He just looked at you for a moment, before taking a deep breath a pulling you closer, his free hand rubbing your back gently. 
  • Maybe he was wrong
  • Maybe things would get better for him too
÷ Sentence Starters
  • "I was born inside a small town."
  • "Friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride."
  • "And when the world's against me, is when I really come alive."
  • "I need to get in the right mind and clear myself up."
  • "I look in the mirror, questioning what I've become."
  • "I'm well aware of certain things that can destroy a man like me."
  • "I am happy on my own so here I'll stay."
  • "I used to think that nothing could be better than touring the world with my songs."
  • "I chased the picture perfect life, I think they painted it wrong."
  • "I think that money is the route of all evil, and fame is hell."
  • "Ain't nobody want to see you down in the dumps."
  • "You're living your dream and this should be fun."
  • "I beg you don't be disappointed with the man I've become."
  • "I guess you know I've been away."
  • "Where I'm heading, who knows?"
  • "My heart will stay the same."
  • "I was younger then."
  • "I found my heart and broke it here."
  • "I can't wait to go home."
  • "I miss the way you make me feel."
  • "We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill."
  • "Had my first kiss on a Friday night... I don't reckon I did it right."
  • "Maybe I came on too strong."
  • "Maybe I waited too long."
  • "Maybe I played my cards wrong."
  • "Baby I apologise for it."
  • "I've been known to give my all."
  • "Don't call me baby unless you mean it."
  • "Don't tell me you need me if you don't believe it."
  • "So let me know the truth before I dive right into you."
  • "You're a mystery."
  • "I have traveled the world and there's no other girl like you."
  • "What's your history?"
  • "Do you have a tendency to lead some people on? 'Cause I heard you do."
  • "The club isn't the best place to find a lover."
  • "Girl, you know I want your love."
  • "Your love was handmade for somebody like me."
  • "I may be crazy, don't mind me."
  • "Boy, let's not talk too much, grab on my waist and put that body on me."
  • "I'm in love with the shape of you."
  • "We push and pull like a magnet do."
  • "I'm in love with your body."
  • "Now my bedsheets smell like you."
  • "Although my heart is falling, too, I'm in love with your body."
  • "I never knew you were the someone waiting for me."
  • "We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was."
  • "I will not give you up this time."
  • "Darling, just kiss me slow."
  • "Darling, you look perfect tonight."
  • "Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know."
  • "She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home."
  • "We are still kids, but we're so in love."
  • "I know we'll be alright this time."
  • "Be my girl, I'll be your man."
  • "I see my future in your eyes."
  • "I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight."
  • "I know I have met an angel in person."
  • "You look perfect tonight."
  • "Baby, I just want to dance."
  • "She shared a cigarette with me while her brother played the guitar."
  • "You know she beat me at darts and then she beat me at pool."
  • "She kissed me like there was nobody else in the room."
  • "I was holding her hand, her hand was holding mine."
  • "I swear I'm going to put you in a song that I write."
  • "You look happier."
  • "I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours."
  • "Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain't nobody love you like I do."
  • "Promise that I will not take it personal if you're moving on with someone new."
  • "You look happier, you do, my friends told me one day I'll feel it, too."
  • "I'll smile to hide the truth, but I know I was happier with you."
  • "Everything's reminding me of you."
  • "You're happier, aren't you?"
  • "I know that there's others that deserve you, but my darling, I am still in love with you."
  • "I know I was happier with you."
  • "I knew one day you'd fall for someone new."
  • "If he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I'll be waiting here for you."
  • "Tribal tattoos and he don't know what it means."
  • "But I heard he makes you happy so that's fine by me."
  • "I'm just keeping it real."
  • "I'll be trying not to double tap, from way back, cause I know that's where the trouble's at."
  • "Let me remind you of the days when you used to hold my hand and when we sipped champagne."
  • "I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn't superman, just a young boy trying to be loved."
  • "If it was meant to be, you wouldn't be calling me up trying to fuck."
  • "I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me."
  • "I know you're missing all this kind of love."
  • "In the back of the club kissing a boy that ain't him."
  • "You're still a young girl trying to be loved."
  • "When you're with him I know you're lonely."
  • "Please, remember you're still free, to make the choice and leave."
  • "She is the sweetest thing that I know."
  • "You should see the way she holds me when the lights go low."
  • "Oh we're in love, aren't we?"
  • "I feel safe when you're holding me near."
  • "Love the way that you conquer your fear."
  • "You know hearts don't break around here."
  • "Spent my summer time beside her, and the rest of the year the same."
  • "She is the lighthouse in the night that will safely guide me home."
  • "I'm not scared of passing over or the thought of growing old, because from now until I go, every night I'll kiss you."
  • "We could change this whole world with a piano."
  • "I'm just a boy with a one-man show."
  • "Love could change the world in a moment."
  • "The revolution's coming, it's a minute away."
  • "I know, I'm all for people following their dreams."
  • "The future's in the hands of you and me."
  • "You are the one, girl."
  • "How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?"
  • "So tell me that you love me, too."
  • "We were sat upon our best friend's roof, I had both of my arms round you, watching the sunrise replace the moon."
  • "We were sitting in a parked car, stealing kisses in the front yard."
  • "I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up."
  • "A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved."
  • "I hope that I see the world as you did."
  • "A life with love is a life that's been lived."
  • "I've got two left feet and a bottle of red wine."
  • "We're going somewhere where the sun is shining bright."
  • "You're like something that God has sent me."
  • "I lost my shoes last night, I don't know where I put my keys."
  • "I get lonely and make mistakes from time to time."
  • "My heart is breaking at the seams and I'm coming apart now."
  • "Always say what's on your mind."
  • "I was twenty four years old when I met the woman I would call my own."
  • "Her daddy said, 'No, you can't marry my daughter.'"
  • "I'm gonna marry the woman I love."
  • "Never had I seen such beauty before."
  • "I never worried about the king and crown."
  • "I gave all my oxygen to people that could breath."
  • "I gave away my money and now we don't even speak."
  • "I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me."
  • "Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels."
  • "I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills."
  • "All the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf."
  • "So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself."
  • "I'm here again, between the devil and the danger."
  • "Before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself."
  • "Before I love someone else, I've got to love myself."

anonymous asked:

Can I request an imagine where Josh and the reader have a sleepover (They're already dating, they just don't live with each other) and it's really cute, at some point late at night they're dancing around the kitchen. You imagines are the cutest, I swear I've died 100 times whilst reading them!

(I had so much fun writing this one! Thank you for the prompt, hope you like it!!)


You park your car in the visitor parking spot, grabbed your over night bag from the passenger seat beside you, and locked your car before buzzing Josh to let you in. He had just gotten back from tour. The six months he was gone was too long it felt like. You basically live at his place while he was in town. Spending 5 out of 7 nights there. But six months was too long to not be at a place that felt so much like home.

You’re not sure if Josh ever locks his apartment door, because it always open when you go over - even when you’re surprising him. But you look past it, letting yourself in anyways.

You can see Josh, he has his back towards you, ear buds in and talking to someone on his phone while he sorts through the mail he had collected while being away. You’re thankful that he’s pretty oblivious to his surroundings as you sneak up. You throw your arms around his shoulders, jumping up onto his back.

“Whoah!” Josh shouts in surprise, pulling an ear bud out to hear what was going on. He turns his head to look at you, and you almost have tears in your eyes when he grins so big, you can hardly see his eyes.

“Hey, Mark,” he says to the person on the other line. “I’ll call you back.” He doesn’t even give Mark a chance to reply as he rips the other ear bud out, throws his phone on the table and turns to that he can wrap his arms around your small frame.

“I missed you,” you whisper into his chest and he tightens his grip around you. You feel complete again. Every time Josh leaves, it’s almost like he takes a part of your heart with him. Of course you miss him while he’s gone, but you get used to the empty feeling in your chest until he comes back and then you wonder how you ever went so long without him.

“I miss you too, baby,” he replies softly into your hair, before pressing a light kiss to your head. You look up, leaning in for more kisses, snaking your arms around his neck and standing on your tippy toes, trying to get as much as him as you can. You can tell he feels the same way when one of his hands finds his way to your hair, and now you’re feeling like there’s too much in between you guys.

“Josh?” You almost moan, as his lips find his way to your neck. And without warning he lifts you up by your legs and you take that as a sign to wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you towards his bedroom.

“Way ahead of you babe,” he smirks, pushing open the door and kicking it closed with his foot. He lightly tosses you on the bed before landing just over top of you and smothering you with kisses again. Your smile was so big, Josh never made you feel unwanted.

“You’re so beautiful,” he muses, holding himself overtop of you, eyes running everywhere over your body. “I missed you so much.”

You reach your hand out and touch the side of his face. His eyes are deep, like he has a thousand thoughts running through his mind. You do too, but as his body presses against yours, there’s only one that you can really think of. “Show me,” you tell him. He gets a mischievous grin and happily obliges.

You’re not sure what time it is when you roll over into Josh’s bare chest, nuzzling your head into his neck. He take his hand and lightly draws it against your arm, raising goosebumps. You’re in total bliss, you’re really not sure how this could get any better.

“You should go away more often,” you say after a couple minutes of quiet. Josh looks down at you, confused expression as he waits for you to continue. “That was incredible,” You grin. Josh rolls his eyes, smile appearing on his face. He moves so that he’s on top on you again, and you think that you can’t possibly go at it again. But instead he bends down, kisses you quickly and then hops out of bed, grabbing his boxers and putting them on swiftly. You sit up, giving him a curious look.

“If we’re going to keep this up, we need some food,” he states with his big, classic Josh Dun grin before disappearing out the bedroom door. You throw your head back in a light laugh before scrambling to get out of bed and find one of his shirts and following him to the kitchen.

The light on the microwave reads 2:33am when you enter into Josh’s tiny apartment kitchen. He has most of what was left in his fridge out on the counter. Which is basically eggs.

“I forgot to go grocery shopping,” he admits, with a squinty smile when he notices you.

You look around the tiny kitchen, trying to get ideas of what to make when you notice a Chinese take-out menu sitting on the counter. You grab it and hold it up to your boyfriend, raising an eyebrow.

“I like you’re thinking,” He nods. And half an hour later you’re both sitting on his couch with Chinese take-out boxes and binging X-Files. You’re sprawled across the couch, legs resting over top Josh’s lap. You’re half paying attention to the TV show, half scrolling through your twitter feed when you see a tweet from Paramore, releasing their new song.

“Did you know about the new Paramore song?” You ask, holding your phone up to him so he can see the post.

“Oh yeah!” His eyes light up. “Hayley mentioned something about that last time I saw her. Plug it into the speakers!”

You get up and plug your phone into the speakers Josh had set up across the room and press play. Both you and Josh are dead silent, listening, deciding if you liked what you were hearing. The song ends and you’re both still silent.

“Well,” Josh clears his throat after a couple of seconds pass. “I know what I’m going to listen to non-stop for the next - rest of my life.”

“Right!” You shout in agreement, immediately playing the song again. And by the 15th time of listening to it, both you and Josh are dancing on the furniture, singing the lyrics at the top of your lungs, pretending to play the instruments and genuinely just acting like idiots together.

You’re dancing on the couch as Josh passes you, so you take the opportunity to jump on his back for a piggy back. He spins you around as fast as he can before collapsing on the couch, both laughing till tears.

“Ah man,” Josh sighs after your laughing fit, looking over at you. And he can’t believe how beautiful you look in his over sized shirt. “I love you.”

That stops you mid laugh. You and Josh haven’t been dating for very long, only 8 months, and most of that had been long distance while he was on tour. And while you knew you loved him from the start, you never said it; afraid that he wouldn’t feel the same way. So you were perfectly content waiting until the time was right. What you didn’t expect was for him to say it first. “I really, really do Y/N,” he continues when you don’t say anything. “You make everything an adventure and I just, I love you.”

You’re grinning uncontrollably as Josh bares his soul to you, but you want to keep it cool. “Yeah, you’re alright.” You tease. Josh laughs and starts tickling you until you can’t breath, determined to get you to say it back. “Okay!” You shout in surrender, your sides sore from laughing. Josh pauses, keeping his hands close for another tickle attack if he doesn’t hear the right answer. “I love you, Joshua Dun.”

clingy

genre: I’m pretty sure this is fluff with some angst thrown in there but not that much. angst ain’t my type.

words: 4k+

warnings: Swearing! there’s swearing. 

summary: While Phil is away up in the north to celebrate Christmas, he starts wondering just how much of a clingy boyfriend he is. Because sure, he misses Dan a lot, but does he misses Dan to the point he hallucinates conversating with his 2009 and 2012 versions? Or maybe he just needs to sleep. It is 3:30 AM after all.

a/n: Merry Louis Tomlinson day. This is for my cute friend @pjothekick I hope you have a great day, Alex :’) also this is… 2009x2012x2015? Yeah? That’s not a thing? Oh.

Keep reading

NAME:  Kara 
NICKNAME: K, Cannoli.  I prefer Cannoli or K to my actual name.
FACE CLAIM:  porg.
PRONOUNS:  she/her
HEIGHT:  4′11″
BIRTHDAY:  August 12th
THE LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO:  Have a Holly Jolly Christmas (I love christmas music)
FAVORITE  MUSE (S)  YOU’VE  WRITTEN: I have to PICK?!  oh kriff.  I love Padmé to pieces.  Rey’s occupying a special place in my heart.  Cecil from WTNV is wonderful.  Obi-Wan is loved and adored.  I adore my trash son Ben Solo/Kylo Ren even though I haven’t RPed with him yet.  Rose is the most beautiful and adorable crankypants ever.

AESTHETIC: eh?  um.  coffee, tea, cats, sage from the Great Plains, rushing waters, new and old book smells, profoundly enthusiastic and artistic swearing

GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  ACCOUNT:

WHAT  INSPIRED  YOU  TO  TAKE  ON  THIS  MUSE: Which one lol?  Basically I had loved all of these muses but started to stretch myself thin with blogs, so I squished them all in this blog.  Most are muses I wanted to RP with rather than as but loved writing them anyway, Padmé is my absolute favorite character of all fiction, and Rose is hard NOT to love.

WHAT  ARE  YOUR  FAVORITE  ASPECTS  OF  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSES: mostly I love how not all of my RPs are nonstop crack anymore.  I mean, I’m the crack QUEEN but I do have more serious things on here and hope to stick with that.  I love that they’re all faceted and multi-dimensional in my own unique ways of writing them, too.  plus making icons for many muses is FUN as is blog construction.

WHAT’S  YOUR  BIGGEST  INSPIRATION  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  WRITING:  I love writing and pushing myself to actually get into my muses’s heads in many threads, so when I write something and it comes off organically instead of obviously scripted It makes me feel accomplished and more willing to write more.  I love being able to develop a muse beyond just the cold hard facts of canon and breathing life into them with my own unique twists, like Obi hating Christmas and Qui-Gon drinking a lot of Gin in the afterlife during downtime and developing Satine’s entire living AU.

FAVORITE  TYPES  OF  THREADS:  I, in case it’s hard to tell based on the Caramel Apple debacle on my Rey blog and the whole Christmas Carol event last Christmas on Obi’s blog, love Crack!Rp and the funnier the better.  but I’m also a sucker for happy “everything is fluffy and nobody dies” threads, family threads, and beginnings. Give me all the padawan shenanigans or parental things.  Give me Leia struggling with her annoying Force Ghost father and conflicted and in turmoil son.   I’m also an AU whore and proud.  

BIGGEST  STRUGGLE  IN  REGARDS  TO  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE: writer’s block on top of perfectionism.  So a great many things all caused by two things.

TAGGED  BY: @thesarcasmofasoldier

TAGGING: all of you peeps.

The 1975 sentence starters
  • "Don't call it a fight when you know it's a war."
  • "Go sit on the bed because I know that you want to."
  • "You've got pretty eyes, but I know you're wrong."
  • "Get in the shower if it all goes wrong."
  • "I swear there's a ghost."
  • "I feel like I'm just treading water."
  • "I love the house that we live in."
  • "I love you all too much."
  • "I've got a woman now."
  • "This one's on the house."
  • "It all tastes the same, but there's something different about your mouth."
  • "You try chasing dreams, it's harder than it seems."
  • "Stick another pill in my head and go to bed."
  • "We're not doing it again, so leave it."
  • "I wanna see you, but you're not mine."
  • "You think we're doing it again, keep dreaming."
  • "Yeah my shirt looks so good, when it's just hanging off your back."
  • "She's got a boyfriend anyway."
  • "All we seem to do is talk about sex."
  • "He's got a funny face, but I like that 'cause he still looks cool."
  • "Does he take care of you or could I easily fill his shoes?"
  • "If we're gonna do anything we might as well just fuck."
  • "And you're a liar, at least all of your friends are."
  • "It's my party and I'll cry to the end."
  • "You must try harder than kissing all of my friends."
  • "You're alive, at least as far as I can tell you are."
  • "And it's not my fault that I fucked everybody here."
  • "Do you wanna dance?"
  • "It's no fun if you've only a bottle of wine."
  • "Yeah, I want you."
  • "I'm so high, I think I love you."
  • "I was thinking about leaving again, it all depends."
  • "Are we just friends?"
  • "We go where nobody knows."
  • "Oh, my hair smells like chocolate."
  • "Stop looking at my friends."
  • "Write another song about your friends."
  • "I love you, don't you mind."
  • "I think I've lost a lot of my friends."
  • "Well fuck me if you must then."
  • "Treat me like an old friend."
  • "I'm not scared."
  • "I used to think you're cool and I believed you had a wonderful vision."
  • "I was always looking for a way to get out."
  • "You just write about sex and killing yourself and how you hardly ever went to school."
  • "I'm falling for you."
  • "Maybe you'll change your mind."
  • "I'll take you one day at a time, soon you will be mine."
  • "Do you fancy sitting down with me? Maybe?"
  • "I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck."
  • "I can't believe that we're talking about him."
  • "Why do you talk so loud?"
  • "I think you're trying too hard."
  • "I've been thinking lots about your mouth."
  • "I forgot to call you."
  • "I remember that I like you, no matter what I found."
  • "It's nice to have your friends round."
  • "It's just you and I tonight."
  • "Gotta love the way you love yourself."
  • "You got something to say? Why don't you speak it out loud, instead of living in your head?"
  • "I don't seem to be having any effect now."
  • "I guess I'll never learn 'cause I stay another hour or two."
  • "You know I can't be found with you."
  • "I'm so fixated on the girl with the soft sound and hair all over the place."
  • "You're cold and I burn."
  • "She had a face straight outta magazine."
  • "Babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay."
  • "I'll give you one more time."
  • "You've got a pretty kind of dirty face."
  • "Babe, you look so cool."
  • "What's the fun in doing what you're told?"
  • "I could persuade you."
  • "I'm not your typical, stoned 18 year old."
  • "Girl, I'm not your savior."
  • "They're just girls."
  • "One moment I was tearing off your blouse, now you're living in my house."
  • "What happened to just messing around?"
  • "You just sit and get stoned with 30 year olds and you think you've made it."
  • "Well, shouldn't you be fucking with somebody your age?"
  • "I told you from the start, I'll break your heart."
  • "She's definitely got the style."
  • "I'd like to say you've changed, but you're always the same."
  • "I'd love you to stay but that's simply insane."
  • ""Well, I think I'll say a couple of words if you don't mind..."
  • "You've seen so many faces that I've never seen before."
  • "We're never gonna lie to you."
  • "I know it's me that's supposed to love you."
  • "Is there somebody who can love you?"
Random lyric sentence starters
  • "This thing's bound to break."
  • "Why don't you make yourself available?"
  • "You said you want me, but you want me to leave."
  • "After it all, it's still repairable."
  • "I need to feel something, cause I'm still so far from home."
  • "Promise me you'll never leave my side."
  • "You can drag me through Hell if it meant I could hold your hand."
  • "If I fell in love with you would you understand me, dear?"
  • "Love is weird."
  • "I really can't believe I lost myself again."
  • "I wrote a song about your eyes."
  • "Ate a slice of cherry pie and I cried all night."
  • "I miss those blue eyes."
  • "I miss everything about you."
  • "I can't believe it, I still want you after all the things we've been through."
  • "I never should have walked away."
  • "I never told you what I should have said."
  • "Hope when the crowd screams out, they're screaming your name."
  • "Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay."
  • "Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad."
  • "The only way you can know is give it all you have."
  • "I did it all."
  • "I owned every second that this world could give."
  • "I swear I lived."
  • "I'm breaking my back just to know your name."
  • "Somebody told me you had a boyfriend."
  • "I've got potential."
  • "I'm leaving without you."
  • "You seem quite nice for a girl with good looks."
  • "I bet I'm not number one on your list to kiss."
  • "You seem quite shy, but you’re so cute."
  • "Just take a chance, try to hold my hand."
  • "Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?"
  • "My girl's in the next room... sometimes I wish she was you."
  • "I guess we never really moved on."
  • "It's really good to hear your voice saying my name."
  • "You make it hard to be faithful."
  • "Does he know you're talking to me? Will it start a fight?"
  • "She wears red when she's feeling hot."
  • "I don't know what she sees in me."
  • "She makes me feel like shit, but I can't get over it."
  • "She's everything I ask for and just a little bit more."
  • "She loves music but she hates my band."
  • "She's not big on holding hands, but that's alright 'cause I still got her."
  • "She keeps up on current affairs and Prada is what she wears."
  • "I'm freaking out because I'm just so lucky."
  • "How could I be so wrong?"
  • "What, did you forget or something?"
  • "Call me up, 'cause you know that I'll be there."
  • "This is so messed up, but that doesn't mean I don't care."
  • "You loved me last night, but what about today?"
  • "You keep saying that we were meant to be; well it must be the alcohol."
  • "Wait, why are you kissing me? I thought you need some time alone."
  • "You tried to punch the waitress, let's get out of here."
  • "I think I like you, and I think you like me too."
  • "Dreaming comes so easily, 'cause it's all that I've known."
  • "True love is a fairy tale."
  • "I'm scared and I'm alone."
  • "I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say."
  • "Will anyone get close to me?"
  • "I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know."
  • "I can't imagine all the people that you know and the places that you go."
  • "I'm slipping in between you and your big dreams."
  • "Dammit, you're so young."
  • "If I hurt you then I'm sorry, please don't think that this was easy."
  • "Doesn't she look good, standing in her underwear?"
  • "I think you can do much better than me."
  • "I told myself I won't miss you, but I remember what it feels like beside you."
  • "I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes."
  • "I found those pictures I took that you were looking for."
  • "If there's one memory I don't want to lose? That time at the mall, you and me in the dressing room."
  • "Wish I never would've said it's over."
  • "I won't think about you when I'm older."
  • "We never really had our closure."
  • "For tonight, I'll stay here with you."
  • "I could've treated you better."
  • "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you."
  • "I could go anywhere with you and I'd probably be happy."
  • "I mean, I really think you like me."
a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 9)
  • "I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone."
  • "I long for that feeling to not feel at all."
  • "The higher I get, the lower I'll sink."
  • "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."
  • "I'll let you ruin my day."
  • "Make me your mess again."
  • "I’m in love with an angel."
  • "I could never set you free."
  • "It’s time I let you go."
  • "I could never pretend that I don't love you."
  • "You wait so long."
  • "Liven up, honey, it ain't that bad."
  • "Nothing happens in this burnt out town anymore."
  • "I'm just a raindrop in a river."
  • "You know that I'm doomed to repeat this with all the bad habits that I've learned."
  • "It's love that keeps fueling me."
  • "I know I’m not that perfect."
  • "Don’t give up, baby, I know that it's shaky."
  • "Just let love consume us."
  • "You make everything okay."
  • "Save me if I become my demons."
  • "I cannot stop this sickness taking over."
  • "I need your help, I can't fight this forever."
  • "Do you remember that Philly porch panic attack, and the late night talks on the balcony?"
  • "I’ve been finding comfort spending the day time in bars."
  • "I’m finally realizing that home doesn’t have an address."
  • "Do you remember cherry cheeks on Chicago nights, and the late night talks in other people’s living rooms?"
  • "Do you remember sleeping sitting up and the late night talks in every state we’ve been in?"
  • "I thought you'd notice what caused this change in me."
  • "I just want to help with shit you're going through, and if I said I didn't darlin', it wasn't true."
  • "There are some times when I really don't want your help... I feel too much guilt involving you."
  • "All I really want is to kill some time with you."
  • "I'd rather unrequited love than none at all."
  • "The last thing that I want to see is you to fall."
  • "I had me a boy, turned him into a man."
  • "I let him go."
  • "They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave."
  • "I get high, and I love to get low."
  • "I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep."
  • "You go home alone."
  • "It's not too bad, babe."
  • "You want to be like your big sis."
  • "This is wrong, but who am I to judge?"
  • "We're one mistake from being together."
  • "You won't be seventeen forever and we can get away with this tonight."
  • "You are young and I am scared."
  • "You're wise beyond your years."
  • "Will you remember me?"
  • "How could I forget?"
  • "I don't know what I've done or if I like what I've begun."
  • "I don't know who I am without you, all I know is that I should."
  • "I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you."
  • "She will love you more than I could."
  • "I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call."
  • "You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all."
  • "When I signed my deal, I felt pressure."
  • "I never wanted more."
  • "I don't have money on my mind, I do it for the love."
  • "I'm not a puppet, I will work against your strings."
  • "This love won't last long if what I've been told is right."
  • "We've still got tonight."
  • "Do you wanna go out with me?"
  • "Do you wanna come round mine for dinner, meet my folks and family?"
  • "Do you wanna go out, or come home with me?"
  • "It's pointless, these games we play, because they always end the same."
  • "I think I love you."
  • "Your love is like something I've never tasted."
  • "I kinda like what you're making me do."
  • "I want you."
  • "I walked by and I had to have you."
  • "I think it's unfair, your situation."
  • "You say I'm changing, sorry, I didn't know I had to stay the same."
  • "Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me insane."
  • "I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet."
  • "So high tonight and I don't feel like coming down."
  • "I could lie to you all my days, but you're the one."
  • "You're the one and I'm a fool for waiting so long to let you know."
  • "There's something in between you and I."
  • "I could run for the life of me, but where would that get me?"
  • "For some unknown reason, our status will remain as friends."
  • "You've got me eating out of the palms of your hands."
  • "There was not a single spark when my lips landed on yours in the dark."
  • "Regardless of what happens next, you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet."
  • "You and I both know that we are a lost cause."
  • "Tonight I made a secret oath to keep chasing after you."
  • "I know you love how all this music's about you."
  • "I know that you still miss me."
  • "Should we give up or save it?"
  • "Did you have to turn your back when forever didn't last?"
  • "Have you even looked back once?"
  • "I miss you... is it still okay to say it?"
  • "I know that it's too late, but..."
  • "Feel the same for different reasons."
  • "We're used to bein' so discouraged."
  • "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?"
  • "I don't love him."
  • "My God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles."
  • "Wanna hold him... maybe I'll just sing about it."
  • "2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song."
  • "She means every little thing to me."
  • "It could have been different, but people don't change."
  • "I just wanted to be free from the secrets and the ghosts that have been chasing after me."
  • "Are you afraid? The pressure's building."
  • "But life will be better, isn't that what you said?"
  • "I know what you did."
  • "You can't say 'nevermind' forever."
  • "You're awful, I love you."
  • "You suck so passionately."
  • "How's your new boy? Does he know about me?"
  • "You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature."
  • "I'm not sure what this is gonna be."
  • "It's hard to love again, when the only way it's been, when the only love you knew just walked away..."
  • "If it's something that you want, darling you don't have to run."
  • "You don't have to go."
  • "It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe."
  • "I've never opened up to anyone."
  • "We don't need to rush this."
  • "I don't want to mess this thing up, I don't want to push too far."
  • "You just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life."
  • "It's never felt so real, it's never felt so right."
  • "I don't want to say goodnight."
  • "I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams."
  • "You moved to west LA or New York or Santa Fe or wherever to get away from me."
  • "I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell because I really fell for you."
  • "I swear to you I'll be there for you."
  • "Now here you are again, so let's skip the "how you been and get down to the "more than friends" at last."
  • "There's nothing up my sleeve but love for you."
  • "So leave yourself intact 'cause I will be coming back."