i swear that girl is like 8 years old

Um, holy shit.

I love Ariana Grande. 

I’m a libertarian. 

You are the part of the right that I distance myself from.

I swear, we’re not all like this. 

If you make your stupid little normie memes and laugh about this, you are sick.

The 8 year old girl who was killed?

Totally a liberal.

Definitely interested in politics.

There are children dying and here you are, laughing at their deaths because maybe some of them happened to be liberal.

I want you to go up to the mourning families of the people killed and say this shit.

You’re disgusting.

Stuff I experienced coming out of the theater from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

- Three little girls having their hair done in the bathroom by their mothers because “they wanted to look like Rey.”

- Several children dressed as ewoks (yes they looked incredibly out of place)

- “Wait, what’s Finn’s last name then?” “Dameron.”

- Two Jedis dueling in the cinema’s snack section.

- A few young boys questioning an older woman on Star Wars Trivia and her nailing every question, leaving the boys incredibly impressed (and humbled).

- “Okay but what about Poe?” “Honey his signal was so strong he broke my gaydar.”

- Group of seven or eight people patting, hugging and kissing a BB-8 promo model.

- Teenage girl weeping.

- Same teenage girl patting a Poe Dameron poster and whispering “My smol, gay, space son.”

- Someone screaming “VIVA LA RESISTANCE” at the top of their lungs.

- “Kylo Ren was literally just a scene kid though.”

- A man and a woman seriously discussing the genetic difference and discrepancies between Leia/Han and Kylo.

- “That was a very ill designed light saber. What if he stabbed himself in the chest with the little side bits?”

And my personal favourite:

- “I swear, Kylo Ren was like, three years old.” “So,what, your age?” 

Peter should be glad this isn't canon
  • Peter: We have to do something about Groot. I swear, that kid needs to learn or two about respect.
  • Gamora: Quill, don’t be too hard on him. I’m sure it’s just a phase. You know how they are at this age.
  • Peter: Ugh. You’re right. But it’s times like these that I wish my dad were here. <sob>
  • (also, spoiler warning, but whatevs)
  • Ghost!Ego: Howdy.
  • Peter, after screaming like an 8-year-old girl: Not you! Hey, aren’t you supposed to be in that bad place?
  • Ghost!Ego: You know they call it that but once you’ve gotten used to it noncorporeal post-existence isn’t all that bad. Hey, Mephisto’s place is swingin’. Plus, I get to have what I truly wanted in the first place: eternity with Meredith.
  • Peter: WHAT! How cou-
  • Ghost!Meredith: Oh hi, darling. I’ve seen you’ve met your daddy.
  • Peter: That can’t be. Why are you with him?
  • Ghost!Meredith: Oh, honey, I’ve been a baaaaad girl.
  • Ghost!Ego: Say those orgasmic words again, my love.
  • Ghost!Meredith: Hail Hydra.
  • Peter: I don’t even know what that means.
  • <flashback to a scene where Ego and Meredith shoot darts at a poster of Captain America.>
  • Peter: What did Captain America ever do to you?
  • Gamora: Enough. Just… call for Yondu specifically. I have no clue what this “Hydra” is but it can’t be a good influence on an adolescent.
  • Ghost!Meredith: <Glare of disapproval>
  • Ghost!Ego: Well, love, I told him I didn’t approve of the green who-
  • Gamora: Get lost, spectres.
  • Ghost!Ego: Meh, whatever. Meredith and I would just blow this pop stand and boogie an eon away at Mephisto’s dance party.
  • <Justin Bieber’s “Baby” plays>
  • Ghost!Meredith: Honey, it’s our song!
  • Ghost!Ego: Duet?
  • <They vanish into the void while singing “Baby,” while Peter’s face freezes, with the caption “screaming internally” placed in front of him.>
  • Ghost!Yondu, but with ridiculously tiny angel wings: Just a spoonful of Yondu helps the ravagers get down!
  • Gamora: Speak of the devil.
  • Ghost!Yondu: Now what is it you want me to ask? This face of an actual angel’s got pressing business to attend to.
  • Gamora: Parties at the afterlife?
  • Ghost!Yondu: Like you wouldn’t believe! Is his face frozen like that? Boy, snap out of it.
  • Gamora: Now, about Groot.
  • Ghost!Yondu: Ah, Puberty. I remembered when Pete hit that mark.

anonymous asked:

Ok so í saw headcannons are open yippe! But can you do one where reader is the youngest member in the batfam (boys & girls) how they treat you, if you can, thank you

YES (Somewhat similar to the six year old reader with Cass headcanon) BTW MasterList is here

Keep reading

I swear fnaf is a never ending fandom

Man one day im going to be 25 walkin up to my room after a onemillonth date with my girl, doing 25 year old stuff relaxing and and opening my computer to see freaking fnaf EIGHT on the screen.

With new fnafs and new characters

Freaking CottonRoll Chica 9000
Foxy the spaceass pirate
William Afton the fifth’s son son’s son’s son’s son’s return.

Be tuned to the fnaf 8 movie. Jeremy feets chair yalled and the seven fat childfed fredbears

Grant. Part one of ?

Disclaimer: ALL stories that I post are true. The only thing that gets changed is the names, and sometimes locations to protect identities. Otherwise it’s all me.

With my school schedule this last semester, I had to lift EARLY Wednesday morning. I’m talking like 6am before class. The Y is never busy that early so it makes for some good quality time and a good pump before class. Now that I’m on winter break I switched over to lifting Wednesday nights after work. Let’s just say I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the… talent in the gym on Wednesday nights.

It was back and arms day, and I was killing the gym per usual (those of you that know me know I go HARD on the gym floor.) I was using the flat benches when a muscled stud caught my eye. He must have been 6’1 about 200 pounds. Def military or former military. He had the fade haircut going on (my personal kryptonite) and he was MUSCLE. Not HUGE, but toned and you could tell he took care of himself.

I immediately felt my dick JUMP. Trying my best to maintain my composure and power through the rest of my workout I snapped back into my workout.

I had some errands to run after the gym, so I quickly tossed off my shorts, shirt, and stripped down to my compressions. In walked the same blonde muscled military stud from the floor. I definitely smirked.

“Is this dude checking me out?” I was thinking as he walked in and gave me the eyeball up and down. I quickly returned the favor. He smiled.


Lo and behold, his locker was in the same section as me. He shook my hand and introduced himself as Grant. I dropped my compressions and continued to talk with Grant BUTT. ASS. NAKED. He told me he is 31, recently divorced with two kids and just moved to the area. Obviously he was comfortable in the locker room, as am I.

I walked over to the shower and began the ritual of de-sweating myself before I hit the town. In walks Grant. What shower does he take? Directly next to me. Guy was packing. He must have had a solid 4.5-5” soft. My dick started to swell up.

“Holy shit dude that’s a big one” Grant piped up.
“Haha thanks man, blessing and a curse in itself I suppose.”

“I know what you mean man. I have a hard enough time with my weapon. That thing looks DEADLY.”

“Gets the job done… if you catch my drift.”

“Definitely do man.” Grant said as he smirked. Looking DIRECTLY at my half-hard cock.

Oh. It is so GAME ON.

“Alright man well I’m gonna go hit the steam for a few. Need some… relaxation time, been good talking to you. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Dude, I’m right with you there. It’s been a long day. I won’t be far behind you I’m sure”… Grant said while sliding me a sly smile.

“Holy. Fuck. This never happens to me.” I thought.

It was a particularly dead night at the gym so I figured I would let the boys breathe in the steam room, since there was nobody in there. Hanging about ½ hard it was nice to just relax.

2 minutes pass and in walks Grant. Bare MUSCLE ASS showing as he walks in strutting his stuff. He HAD to be hard I thought. HAD TO. Nobody has THAT big of a dick soft. As soon as he sits down I notice him tugging at his rather large bull balls and stud cock.

“How’s the action down here, if you don’t mind me asking?” asked Grant.

“Dude, not gonna lie now that it’s winter break and all the college girls are gone, it’s been… rough.” “Haven’t had a good slam in a while..”

“Ahh dude I get you, with the kids it’s hard to find a good time for some… alone time.”

“Dude I couldn’t imagine, I’m sure it’s rough.” I said as I gently started stroking my (now hard) cock.

Grant glances over “Holy SHIT dude, it gets BIGGER?!”

“Yeah man, you should see this bad boy in action.”

“Not gonna lie I’d love to.” Grant said as he slid closer to me.

So many thoughts were running through my head. Is this dude picking up what I’m putting down? Or is he just being overly-friendly? (Trust me. It has happened more than once.)

A minute or two of silence pass as my raging hard-on doesn’t subside.

“Dude, I gotta get off. If you don’t mind. Something about the steam room just gets me going.” Grant pipes up.

“Hey man I get you, I’ve let a load or two fly in here.” I said.. smiling.

“If you want some…help with that. I wouldn’t mind helping a brother out.”

“What did you have in mi…” FUCK. I can’t even finish my sentence before his lips are around my throbbing cock.

YES. YES. YES. I could feel the streams of precum dripping down his throat. Honestly may have been the most turned on I’ve been in a while. Here I have this single hot stud DAD sucking my cock in the steam room. No lie this is the shit you see on Pornhub.

This dude was sucking my dick like it was his mother fuckin job. (Read: best head I’ve EVER received from either a guy or girl.) He was using all the right techniques to send me over the edge. Slowly working my head and circling his tongue on it while cupping my super-full bull balls. I swear in the 5 minutes he was blowing me I was closed to cumming 3x.

Probably the hottest thing about this whole escapade was the EYE CONTACT. We NEVER broke eye contact. I could see the furious fire in Grants eyes as he worked my 20 year old college cock like nobody has before. Seriously. This guy was sucking dick like it was his fucking JOB.

Fully hard I measure up just under 8” with some serious thickness (if you’re looking for pictures go to tagged/me) Let’s just say it’s no small feat for ANYBODY (guy or girl) to throat the fucker COMPLETELY. And Grant just made it happen. HOT.

“Gonna Cum” I managed to moan out as my eyes rolled back in my head and my toes started curling.

“Give it to me dude” Grant managed to let out with my cock 8” deep in his throat.

I let out the most EARTH. SHATTERING. Orgasm I’ve ever experienced in my 20 years. Those of you that know me well know that I usually drop big loads (regardless of when I last came. I LOVE being young. LOVE.) But I must have pumped 6 HUGE ropes down this studs throat. He gagged and coughed but managed to swallow all of my load. (NO small feat as well.)

My legs were shaking. Scratch that, my WHOLE BODY was shaking. I very possibly just received the best dome I had ever received in my life.

“Holy FUCK Dude, Thanks!”

“Don’t mention it”, Grant said standing up.

He walked towards the door of the steam room (I was enjoying the muscled ass view.)

He turned around and flashed me a big smile and said “See you around man.”


“I’m sure you will, stud.” I said with a wink.

There you have it Guys. Very possibly the best dome I have EVER received, from an anonymous gym stud.

I’m pretty sure my Wednesday night schedule just cleared. For the foreseeable future.

What do you think guys? Reblogs and likes are ALWAYS appreciated.

Hit me with your questions, submissions, etc.

Until next time, Studs. ;)


Astronaut Dad

Warnings: Swearing, wee bit of feels
Characters: Uncle!Sam Winchester, Daddy!Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Daughter!Winchester Reader
Summary:(Read request at bottom)
Readers Age: 8 years old
Word Count: 1650

Y/N: Your Name
Y/H/C: Your Hair Color
Y/E/C: Your Eye Color

A/N: Yep I really did name this that. I couldn’t think of anything else don’t judge me. I also put my own twist on how Dean came back, like who was there and what not. Enjoy!

You were sitting in Bobby’s living room, drawing. Your dad, Dean, came in, he looked sad. “Hey, Baby Girl. I gotta talk to you for a minute.” He said as he knelt down in front of you. You stopped drawing and gave him your full attention. “I have to go away for a little while.” Dean’s eyes started filling with tears.

“For your special job?” You asked, to you, Dean going away meant he was just doing his job.

Dean smiled, “Yeah, you could say that. But, this time is different. I’m not going to be coming back.” Dean looked at the floor, then up at you. He stared into you Y/E/C eyes, he saw tears starting to fill them.

“Why won’t you be coming back?” You asked, trying your best to be strong for your daddy.

“Because, I made a deal with very bad people to save your Uncle Sammy, and I’m going to be paying the price so he won’t have to.” Dean informed you.

“When are you coming back?” You asked, eyes full of hope.

Dean looked at the floor, “I won’t be coming back, Chipmunk. Uncle Sammy is going to take care of you while I’m gone.” Dean looked back up at you, you both had tears falling down your cheeks.

Dean cupped your face and wiped the tears away with his thumb, “But I want you to come back, daddy.” You said.

Dean closed his eyes, “I know. Y/N, you are the most important person in my life. You’re even more important than Uncle Sammy, but this is something that has to happen. I love you.” Dean said. You could tell in his voice that he felt so powerless.

You jumped up, wrapping your small arms around his neck, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you. “But I don’t want you to go!” You whined, the tears coming down like a waterfall. Dean held you tighter.

“I’m so sorry Y/N/N, I am, I never wanted this to happen.” Dean whispered. “There is good news.” You pulled out of the hug and wiped some tears away, “We have a month before I go. Meaning I want to spend every second with you, and occasionally Uncle Sammy.” Dean smiled, you giggled.

You had a month to spend with your dad, you two did everything together, you went everywhere together. There was no place that one of you could go, without being seen with the other. You completely forgot that he only had a month left, so when that day came, the sadness came over you again.

…A Month Later…

“Y/N.” You heard your dad call you. You got up from your spot on Bobby’s couch and ran to the kitchen. Dean instantly smiled when he saw you, you walked over to him and he picked you up. “You know how we talked about me having to go some time?” You nodded, Dean looked at Sam and Bobby, who gave him silent support. “Well, today’s that day. I’m sorry.” Tears started falling down your cheeks, you wrapped your arms around Dean’s neck. This would be the last time you can hug him.

“Don’t go daddy!! I don’t want you to go!” You yelled, Dean’s heart broke when he heard that. Sam and Bobby quietly left the room, “Please don’t leave me!” You begged.

“I’m so sorry Baby Girl, you still have Bobby and Sam.” Dean tried to make the situation better.

“But I w-want my d-daddy!” You said in between sobs, at this point Dean crashed to the floor, holding you tight.

Dean didn’t know what to say, he was the most important thing to you, you already lost your mother and now you’re going to lose your father. “I know Sweetheart, just… I’ll be back someday, okay?” Dean said, you pulled out of the hug and wiped your tears away.

“R-really?” You asked, Dean didn’t want to lie to you, but he wanted to give you some hope that he might come back. Even if that hope is false hope.

Dean tucked a stray strand of your Y/H/C hair behind your ear, “Yeah.” He nodded.

“Then why are we staying goodbye, if I’m just going to see you again?” You asked.

“Because, it’s going to be a very, very, long time until I get back.” Dean lied. Truth is, he’s not coming back.

You smiled and nodded, “I’ll be ready when you do come back!” You said eagerly. Dean smiled and nodded.

“Okay, well, be good to Uncle Sammy and Bobby, okay?” Dean instructed. You nodded. “Okay, I love you.” Dean pulled you back into a hug,

“Love you too, daddy.” Sam re-entered the room, Dean pulled out of the hug. They seemed to have a silent conversation, Dean nodded.

“Well, I have to go now, I love you.” Dean said once more as he stood up.

“I love you too, see you when you get back!” You heard Sam sigh and give Dean an unimpressed face. He didn’t like that Dean lied to you, Dean shrugged Sam’s stare off and walked out of the kitchen. Sam gave you a small smile before following Dean.

Four months has passed, your dad hasn’t come back, and your Uncle rarely visits. Bobby is starting to get mad at Sam for rarely spending any time with you, “You can’t just abandon her!” You heard Bobby yell. You got up and placed your ear on the kitchen door, “She’s your niece, Dean would want her to be with you.” Bobby stopped to listen to the other person on the phone. “Sam, I understand that you need time, but that poor little girl in there just lost her dad and, y’know, it’d be great if she had the comfort of her own uncle!” So, he was talking to Uncle Sam.

You knocked on the door, everything went quiet, “Can you shut up for one second ya idjit?” Bobby walked over to the kitchen door and opened it.

“Are you talking to Uncle Sammy?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Well, yes I am.” Bobby responded.

“Can I talk to him?” You asked, giving your best puppy dog eyes.

Bobby sighed, “Sure.” He handed you the phone and you placed it on your ear.

“Hi Uncle Sammy.” You greeted.

“Hey Bug, how you doing?” He asked.

“I’m good, I miss you and dad though.” You admitted as you went and sat on the couch.

“Yeah, I-I miss you too.” Sam said.

“When are you coming back?” You asked.

Sam sighed, “I, uh, I don’t know. Probably not for a little while.”

Your smile faded, “You’re not going to leave me too, are you?”

The line was silent, “No, I’m not, hang on I’m coming to get you.” Sam said.

“Yay!” You cheered, you gave the phone back to Bobby and went to pack up your things.

A few hours passed before you heard a knock at the front door. You ran off the couch and to the door, you heard Bobby yell after you but you ignored him. You opened the door to see your Uncle Sam standing there, “Uncle Sammy!!” You jumped into his arms, he picked you up and hugged you.

Sam walked into the house, and was greeted by Bobby. “Y/N, why don’t you go put your stuff in the Impala and I’ll meet you out there.” He put you down and you nodded. You grabbed your bags and ran outside to the Impala.

You opened the Impala door and tossed your stuff in, you shut the door and turned around. You froze when you saw a dirty, tired, and very much alive Dean. “Daddy!” You yelled and ran into his arms, he gladly accepted the hug and picked you up.

From how loud you yelled, Bobby and Sam heard, they rushed outside and saw Dean holding you. “Y/N!” Sam yelled, they ran over and Bobby yanked you away from Dean.

Sam tackled Dean and held a silver knife to his throat, “What are you?!” Sam asked, you were screaming at Bobby to let you go.

“Sammy! It’s me! I promise, look.” Dean proceeded to make a small cut on his own throat with the silver knife. “Not a shifter, if you have some holy water I’ll be more than happy to take that test as well, but I would appreciate it if you would get your heavy ass off of me so I can hug my daughter.” Dean snapped.

Sam looked over to you and Bobby, you started at him in fear. “Bobby you got your flask on you?” Sam asked, with one hand Bobby held onto your shirt so you couldn’t go anywhere, and with the other he pulled out his flask and tossed it to Sam. Sam caught it with ease and dumped the holy water on Dean.

“See?” Dean pushed Sam off of him and stood up. “It’s really me.”

“Daddy!” Bobby let go of you and you ran to Dean, he picked you up once again. “I missed you so much.”

Dean let out a breath of relief, “I missed you too.”

You two stood there for a moment, hugging each other before Dean set you back down of the ground and hugged Sam, then Bobby.

Once Bobby and Dean pulled out of the hug you walked up to Dean, “Where did you go?” You asked.

Everyone was quiet, “Space.” Dean answered. Your eyes lit up.

“You went to space?” You said in awe, your dad is an astronaut.

Dean picks you up, “Yep, flew all around, went to mars, battled aliens, even visited Darth Vader for a little while.” Dean proceeded to tell you about his ‘adventure’ in space, you listened in awe about how cool your dad was. Even if you knew some of the things he said were lies, you still loved him, and nothing will ever take that away.

Requested by Anonymous:
“Can you make one where the reader is Dean’s 8 year old daughter and it’s like when dean makes the deal to go to hell. But when he comes back and finds the reader it’s all fluff and stuff? Love your blog and stories! Thanks!”

A/N: Thank you darling!

I hope y'all like this one! I’m open for tips on improving!

Tags: @16wiishes
In which a person weak of mind, body, and soul puts herself in a position to get into a subway fight????

On the subway ride home, about 15 elementary school kids got on together with a couple of chaperones. 

Sometimes this is terrible, but all of these kids were well-behaved and super cute. 

Sitting next to me was a girl in her late teens or early 20s, who was talking to a male the same age as her across the aisle (I presume the boyfriend). He was sitting next to her mother.

They were trashy. I’m from southeast Massachusetts. I know trashy. Tank tops, pajama pants, greasy hair, talked like they’ve done a lot of drugs.

I don’t know if these young adults were swearing their heads off before the kids got on. I don’t pay attention to people on the subway. I close my eyes while wearing my headphones and try to pretend I am anywhere but the subway.

But I did notice after the kids got on. These were 7, 8, 9 year olds. They were adorable and polite. And this girl next to me kept swearing to her boyfriend across the way, pretty loudly. Right across the kids. And he was swearing back. And I couldn’t tell, but I am pretty sure they were making racist jokes referring the mostly Asian children.

I started to stare at her whenever she swore. Then I started to look at the other people around me, who could hear everything. THEN, because I am passive aggressive, I started to make little noises every time she dropped an f-bomb. Tss. Ttt. Tut.

Finally she swore so loud, I blurted out, “there are kids.” but it sounded like are you fucking dumb? if you just listened to the tone.

She side-eyed me so hard. I have never been side-eyed like that. She literally just turned her entire eyeballs toward me while keeping her head pointed to her boyfriend. It was like she thought I couldn’t see?

She then stood up and stood by her boyfriend. whispering to him and staring back at me staring back at her every so often.

I felt very good about it. Kids are fucking precious. Don’t fuck with their little minds like that, man. Make this world good for them. Some of them have to go home and be subjected to bad things. For some kids, school and activities are their safe space. Why would you ruin that with foul language and negative vibes?

I felt very good about it, but until they got off at their stop I was fucking terrified I was going to get beat up or yelled at. I spent the entire 20 minutes devising how I would verbally ruin all of them if they tried to come at me verbally. If it had gotten physical, I probably would’ve just voluntarily died.