i swear i used to be better at this

Nobody’s Perfect: Part 4

Pairings: David Harbour x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, more angst.

Word Count: 4,674

A/N: This story was an idea that came to me from an interview David did. The quote was “…I’m better at the fantasy of relationships than I am at the daily real life, but I’m trying to steer myself into a realist…” And this is the story I came up with. I obviously don’t know David therefore I’m using my first amendment right, here…. & since David reads fan fics… if you ever see this, love… well, I’m sorry….

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

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@DavidKHarbour- She said yes! My baby mama said yes! I want to shout it from the roof tops but I got scolded by my fiancée for yelling it off her back porch so Twitter it is! SHE SAID YES! #Harbourfamily #fianceeandme #andbabymakesthree

@(Y/T/H)- Don’t let @DavidKHarbour lie to you, people. He shouted it from my porch for ten minutes until my neighbor threw a tennis ball at him. I am not the bad guy here… (but I am the baby mama that said yes!) #Harbourfamily #fianceeandme #andbabymakesthree

Keep reading

Dicking Around

Storytime!

A few years back my mates and I were dressed up for Halloween and my cat furry roommate (good guy, furries are entertaining folks) was wearing his partial suit out with us. We were in Boston proper and all of us were on a budget at the time, so the only option for a late night drink and dinner open to us was a place called Dick’s Last Resort. 

If you’ve never been, the big draw at Dick’s is that they’re dicks to you.  The staff are sarcastic, they throw your menus and straws and shit at you, and they make you hats that say mean stuff. 

I don’t get it either. So anyways, we’ve got - I’ll call him Frank - the cat with us, and Frank’s 100% ready to go fuck with Dicks, so we head on in.

The waitress starts doing her bit, but the cat in the room has thrown off her game and she doesn’t really know how to handle Frank in Full Cat mode. 

He points out the drink he wants without speaking, with a paw, on the menu and she asks for an ID and starts saying ‘I swear to god your ID better have a big fuckkin’ cat on it or-“

She threw his licence back at us and walked away speechless. Didn’t talk to us the rest of the evening.

Anyways, I dug up this old photo today and thought it deserved to be preserved for posterity.  So here you go, the day Frank broke Dicks.

Edit: My roomie’s been getting linked this post like crazy! He also gave me permission to post his twitter. You should follow him because he’s hilarious and lovely.  @theSmudgiestCat

6

persona 5 wallpapers - requested by anon

Drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.

The thing that is getting to me the most about news of Carrie Fisher’s autopsy report is not the results themselves, but the way the media is handling it. Like it’s a Gotcha moment—like somehow we were tricked into thinking she was a better person than she actually was.

And that is profoundly bullshit.

Carrie was open about being an addict. Her opening line from her iconic stand up show (and book by the same name) “Wishful Drinking” was quite literally, “Hi, I’m Carrie Fisher, and I’m an alcoholic.”

She talked at length and in often brutal depth about her problems with substance abuse, her compulsive self destructive tendencies, and her dependencies to both illegal and prescription drugs. She wrote about it in her books, she talked about it on talk shows. She made an entire comedic stand up performance out of it, detailing the lengths she went to in order to try and regain some semblance of safety and normalcy in her life. 

She was brutally honest that every single day was a struggle for sanity after years and years of attempting to self medicate a mental illness that for most of her life was mistaken for feckless lack of self control. 

You know how they way “Religion is the opiate of the masses?” Well I took masses of opiates religiously! -Wishful Drinking

She was bright, and beautiful and bold about it. And she didn’t have to be.

Carrie Fisher didn’t have to stand there and take the shitstorm of criticism people launched at her for decades, let alone turn it into humor. She didn’t. She didn’t owe anyone outwith her immediate family an explanation for her erratic behavior over the years, nor the flack she caught for it. (Think of all the male actors in Hollywood who are in and out of rehab centers so quickly they could harness the revolving doors as a wind turbine. Then tell me the media press about her life and now her death are fair.)

But she did it anyway, because she knew it was important. And she took those bright lights of Hollywood shining down on her like a ruthless, malevolent child holding a magnifying glass under the sun—and she turned that merciless heat and pointed it at things that mattered, often at the expense of herself, opening herself up to ridicule and the severe cruelty of others who lambasted her for everything, ranging from her weight, her mental illness or her audacity to simply grow old.

Is it tragic that her addiction likely cost her her life? Yes, of course it is. Does it invalidate any of her achievements? The strength and vibrancy with which she lived her life and touched the lives of millions around her for the better? 

“I call people sometimes hoping not only that they’ll verify the fact that I’m alive but that they’ll also, however indirectly, convince me that being alive is an appropriate state for me to be in. Because sometimes I don’t think it’s such a bright idea. Is it worth the trouble it takes trying to live life so that someday you get something worthwhile out of it, instead of it almost always taking worthwhile things out of you?” 

-The Princess Diarist

Carrie Fisher mattered, her voice mattered. The things that she said and did, mattered. They still matter. And they are no less true and poignant in the light of these revelations.

Addiction is a disease. It’s a dysfunction of the brain’s reward system which requires constant management and care and often goes hand in hand with other mental health disorders. It is not simply a question of willpower or the perceived lack thereof. And while sobriety is to be praised and encouraged—of course it is, of course it absolutely unquestionably is—you cannot possibly know what may cause a person to slip or to feel like they can’t cope without that crutch. And shame on anyone who says it was therefore deserved. 

Shame and my heartfelt wishes that you never go through the things that can lead to serious addiction. Or that you are ever abandoned, derided and regarded as less than human because of it and your death turned into a smear campaign against your memory for the sake of a sensationalist headline.

Yes. Carrie Fisher was an addict, she had drug dependency problems related to her mental health. There was a time she kept it hidden, but after she made the decision to come out about it, she stuck by that decision and became a champion, for herself and everyone like her who struggles. Because she never wanted anyone to suffer like she did in order to get help. And she did it with as much grace and humility as she could manage—and a whole lot more indignity, immodesty, crass humor and love as well. Because that’s who she was and she cared. 

And that’s a hell of a lot more than can be said for those crowing over her death like it’s just deserts.

Fuck you.

People do not exist to stand up to your demands of a perfect ideal of humanity. You do not get to place that burden on the shoulders of someone then tear them apart when they fall under that weight—famous or otherwise.

Fuck you and your whole pretense at moral piety and the horse you rode in on.

Carrie Fisher was not your unproblematic fave. She was in fact extremely problematic, and no one knew that better than she did. 

“I heard someone say once that many of us only seem able to find heaven by backing away from hell. And while the place that I’ve arrived at in my life may not precisely be everyone’s idea of heaven, I could swear sometimes—if I’m quiet enough—I can hear the angels sing. Either that or I fucked up my medication again.” 

-Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking.

five word prompts

[inspired by this]

  • “actually… i just miss you.”
  • “alright, i’ll leave you alone.”
  • “and slowly… i was forgotten.”
  • “and then everything just disappears.”
  • “and where do i go?”
  • “anyone could tell from here.”
  • “are you finishing that or…?”
  • “are you stupid or stupid?”
  • “anything, just call me, okay?”
  • “bitch better have my money.”
  • “bro… that’s so… not cool…”
  • “but did you do it?”
  • “call me now. it’s urgent.”
  • "can’t you listen to me?”
  • “cross that. don’t answer that.”
  • “don’t even think about it.”
  • “don’t you dare walk away.”
  • “do it. i dare you.”
  • “did you think i forgot?”
  • “eventually… you just move on.”
  • “even if you still do.”
  • “everything will fall into place.”
  • “fight me, you attractive stranger.”
  • “for once, i need you.”
  • “for once… i was right.”
  • “for once… i was wrong.”
  • “forget i even asked you.”
  • “forget it. you fucking suck.”
  • “fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”
  • “fuck off. i mean it.”
  • “give and take. that’s life.”
  • “great. perfect. nice. fuck this.”
  • “have you lost your mind?”
  • “hello? it’s me. i was-”
  • “hey… that wasn’t so nice.”
  • “here’s a glass of whatever.”
  • “how about a hug, hm?”
  • “how about you make me?”
  • “i haven’t forgot you yet.”
  • “i can’t be around you.”
  • “i don’t need you, really.”
  • “i don’t need this now.”
  • “is this your first time?”
  • “it’s just a cut, really.”
  • “it wasn’t me, i swear!”
  • “i said i love you.”
  • “just don’t fuck it up.”
  • "just… come back alive, okay?”
  • “just make sure you’ve eaten.”
  • “kick his ass for me.”
  • “killed him? wait, what, literally?”
  • “life really sucks. feel better.”
  • “letting go hurts… a lot.”
  • “let me live, will you?”
  • “no, i don’t need you.”
  • “nothing can hurt me now.”
  • “nothing matters anymore to me.”
  • “okay it was me… so?”
  • “people lie all the time.”
  • “pipe the fuck down, asshole.”
  • “please, you can’t die now.”
  • “please don’t leave me alone.”
  • “quiet. they can hear us.”
  • “quick! give me your phone!”
  • “quicker, you freaking piece of-”
  • “quit it or i’ll bite.”
  • “quit staring! they’ll notice us!”
  • "really? do i look stupid?”
  • “real smooth, tripping over air.”
  • “rise and shine, sweet thing.”
  • “rise and fucking shine, motherfucker.”
  • “seriously? give me a break.”
  • “so… what are we now?”
  • “so… did you miss me?”
  • “so… can we go eat?”
  • “so… when’s the next flight?”
  • “so… how did everything go?”
  • “sometimes, i wish you died.”
  • “so what? you did it.”
  • “time passes slower without you.”
  • “then what do you suggest?”
  • “the fuck? who are you?”
  • “then you tell me why.”
  • “this is not working out.”
  • “this isn’t what i wanted.”
  • “this is all a fucking disaster.”
  • “when did it all happen?”
  • “who knew you’d be here?”
  • “why do i even bother?”
  • “why do i love you?”
  • “why didn’t you tell me?”
  • “you’re just… so, so stupid.”
  • “you can’t be here now.”
  • “you look like an accident.”
  • “you really need to go.”
  • “you know who to call.”
  • "zero fucks given. next please.”
  • harry: i'm sorry ginny...i've got to go and hunt horcruxes to stop voldemort...i have to break up with you because you'll be in danger too...
  • ginny: i mean, first off, dude's probably gonna take over hogwarts so technically i'll be in less danger if i go on your little soul-searching bff camping trip
  • ginny: second of all, i don't think voldy's gonna give a shit if we're dating or not when he murders me for being a 'blood traitor' or whatever bullshit reason
  • ginny: and thirdly, i am better at magic than you and ron combined so like, move over scrub, me and hermione are gonna be killing us some dark lord
“secretly we all love angst” Sentence Starters

dont deny it DONT DENY IT 

  • “It never works for us, and it never will.”
  • “I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.”
  • “I can’t fall in love with you.  I don’t want all the pain that comes with it.”
  • “My roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I haven’t been able to sleep in that bed since you left.”
  • “I keep asking myself “why isn’t the sun bright anymore” but then I remember you’re not in my life anymore and realize it’s just my own eyes.”
  • “I regret it all.  I really do, I swear.  Please, please– let’s fix this, please.”
  • “Remember when you promised we’d always be together?  Because I remember when I thought you meant it.”
  • “I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!”
  • “The phone calls aren’t the same… I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore.”
  • “I’m trying to avoid talking because I know what it’ll lead to, and I don’t want that to come.”
  • “Don’t you think you can fall back in love with me?”
  • “This whole time I’ve been using you to make me feel better, and you never caught on.  You never caught on.  I want you to hate me now, but I don’t think you’re even able to.”
  • “Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?”
  • “Every time we fix things something else ends up breaking.”
  • “Why don’t we stop pretending we’re not on a road to destruction?”
  • “It wasn’t even fun at first, honestly.  It was just like… Morphine.”
  • “You’re just not enough anymore.”
  • “It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.”
  • “Ah, it was all my fault.  Wasn’t it?”
  • “To think, we thought just the sex would be enough to keep us in love.”
  • “Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you.  You needed to move on from me– I needed to protect you from me.”
  • “You never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”
  • “Quit trying to fix me when you need to just fix yourself.”
  • “I’m so tired of everything about us, and about how we thought we were in love, and how we think forcing it can make us be in love– I’m so tired of it.”
  • “This whole time you’ve still been in love with him/her… Not me.”
  • “I couldn’t make you fall in love with me.  I thought I could do it, I really did, but… But I know you… And this isn’t love.”
  • “Did you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?”
  • “To think I’ve changed so much to get you to like me, and you still never really look my way.”
  • “I know I deserve better than you.  I realize that, but you were so broken… I didn’t want to be the one that made you shatter.”
  • “All of this was to protect myself.”
  • “I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy.”
  • “I never want to even hear your name during my life anymore.”
  • “Your lips used to be sanctuary, but now I just feel trapped.”
  • “Isn’t it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?”
  • “The thing I regret the most is giving you so much hope by agreeing to this date.”
  • “We have the kind of history anyone would never want to think about again, and you’re hear asking me on a date?”
  • “What makes you think I’ll be any different this time?”
  • “I’ll let you down.  I will always let you down.  I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.”
  • “Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”
  • “I should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.”
  • “I’ve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.”
  • “I can’t forget about him/her!  It’s not in my power to forget how he/she felt when they loved me.”
  • “The saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying.  He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.”
  • “Listen…  You’re his/her best friend… and I completely fucked up– it’s over between us, but… please, punch me, or punish me, or do something to me because he/she just… cried.  He/she wasn’t even angry, they were just so sad– Please, be angry at me, please.  Give me what I deserve.”
  • “It would have been better if we never met.”
  • “You’re my regret.”
  • “I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”
  • “Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.”
  • “This is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”
  • “Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love.  How pathetic.”

send a sentence and a name xx

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 5

Great team work, amigos. Here’s is part 5! 

  1. “Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
  2. “No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
  3. “why is the fairy holding a gun.”
  4. “Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
  5. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
  6. “How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
  7. “Why are the roses green?”
  8. “Great, you made death angry.”
  9. ”この___だ!”
  10. “That better be a press on tattoo.”
  11. “If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
  12. “So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
  13. “Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
  14. “Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
  15. “You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
  16. “I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
  17. “You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
  18. “There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
  19. “Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
  20. “Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
  21. “Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
  22. “Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
  23. “Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
  24. “What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
  25. “So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
  26. “you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
  27. “I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
  28. “How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
  29. “Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
  30. “Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
  31. “JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
  32. “What?”
  33. “I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
  34. “Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
  35. “I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
  36. “You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
  37. “So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
  38. “Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
  39. “Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
  40. “Hey at least I get laid doing it”
  41. “While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
  42. “Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
  43. “That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
  44. “What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
  45. “I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
  46. “Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
  47. “I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
  48. “How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
  49. “Because I gave not, a single shit.”
  50. “Is that a marijuana? In my good  Christian suburbs?!”
  51. “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
  52. “I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
  53. “Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
  54. “Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
  55. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
  56. “You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
  57. “For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
  58. “Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
  59. “‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone  remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
  60. “WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
  61. “Can you believe it?” “Just barely.”  "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
  62. "What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
  63. “Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!”   “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
  64. “You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
  65. “Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
  66. “Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
  67. "So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
  68. “Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
  69. “What do you mean I’m half demon”
  70. “why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
  71. “Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
  72. “So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
  73. “How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
  74. “Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
  75. “Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
  76. "Goddammit, why won’t you die?!”  "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
  77. "I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
  78. “What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
  79. "You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
  80. "Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
  81. “How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
  82. “Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
  83. “Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
  84. “So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
  85. “I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
  86. *whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
  87. “Now I know not to cry there”
  88. “What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
  89. “So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
  90. “I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
  91. “When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
  92. “You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
  93. “There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
  94. “Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
  95. “Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
  96. “Zombies are people too, Mom!”
  97. “… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
  98. “Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
  99. “ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
  100. “Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”

Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?

What DC needs to do:

1. Stop following Marvel’s footsteps: choose what they are known for- gritty plot with dark shade and tinge of humor and irony. Ignore the critics- set your own tone

2. Understand it has far better and legendary characters. Portray them true to their comics

3. Kick out Joss Whedon: if I see him anywhere near Batgirl I swear to fucking god there will be bloodbath

4. Take some chances, do something unique: eg- give Diana a girfriend

5. Stop using women as just eye candy: DC women are badass, totally able to stand her ground

take your time but please tell me the secret on how to be better. I am the night sky and a dimly lit room all in the same sentence and I don’t really know where to put the period. some days I am better and I’m here with this abundance of love in my heart and the other days I am all alone and no way to cope with the sadness. give me the grass stained jeans and give me the love I used to feel but not while in the arms of others. I’m not alone but sometimes I am. let me learn how to cope with the bad days and let me learn how to find comfort in my own arms and my own bed and then I swear I can give them the best parts of me after that. let me learn how to feel innocent and lovely again. let me learn how to heal again. let me learn.
—  let me learn how to heal again

Now that Kesha’s case is over and she’s releasing new music about her journey and she’s actually making something of herself again, her album sales better go through the fucking roof. Because I swear to fucking god, if you fuckers go radio silent when her album hits, y'all might as well stop pretending to be voices for change right now. I swear to Christ, if her album fails, I’m quitting this dumpster fire of a website permanently. I won’t associate with hypocrites. She needs us now more than ever. The best way to stick it to Dr. Luke and show him she doesn’t need him is for her to be even more successful now than she ever was before. And that requires all of us. Not just vocally. BUY HER ALBUM!!! It comes out August 11. Preorder that shit. Camp outside Walmart. Do whatever you have to.

KESHA NEEDS US WE CANNOT LET HER DOWN!!!!

All Might: about forming the teams couples for the exam, I think we might put Young Midoriya and Young Todoroki in the same team; they already fought together against Hero Killer Stain so they can use this opportunity to find out how to collaborate in a better way

Present Mic: yeah, I want to suggest about Bakugou and Kirishima too; we all know how Bakugou acts and it looks like Kirishima is the only one that can collaborate properly with him

Aizawa: …do you want them to fuckin start make out during the exam or what

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Welcome to a world without Light.

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2

*fart noise*

Halftime Show*

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+ only
Summary: Chris and Reader have some naughty time together during the Super Bowl halftime show.
Word Count: 1.8k
Genre: NSFW/SMUT
Warnings: Swearing and unprotected sex. [Wrap your wang before you bang.]
Author’s Note: Might not be my greatest work since I wrote it in a hurry, but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. Congrats to the Pats, by the way.

Originally posted by chrisxchrisxchris

“C'mon, you can do better… don’t fuck this one up, guys!” Chris yelled, clapping his hands as if he was the coach. “Don’t you dare to do this to us!”

Proud yelling, muttered cursing and stressed screaming everywhere around you in the VIP area of the stadium. The fans sitting, standing or jumping roared their stress out as your team was in a difficult time. The halftime was fast approaching and the Patriots struggled, facing the seemingly glorious Falcons.

“Don’t freak out. Relax, big boy,” you soothed, rubbing your boyfriend’s tensed back as he tapped his foot on the floor.

“How can we relax, Y/N?!” Scott, his brother told you and you rolled eyes, mentally noticing him he wasn’t helping at all.

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all I’m saying is that lance is keith’s impulse control and after keith left the team he did a lot of reckless things and that suicide mission was shot as a parallel to the scene in s3 where lance is telling keith to stop so uhhhhh lance is keith’s stability and we still have to see him actually help keith be “stable” in future seasons with further klance development bye