i swear i didn't ship anything coming out of the series

So I have a habit of livetexting everything I read/watch to the person who got me into it, and it's generally regarded as quite amusing. My dear friend Mycroft recently got me into Young Wizards, and he suggested that I put one of my livetexts up on Tumblr as my introduction into the fandom. So here goes "Iago reads High Wizardry" (lightly edited to make reading easier).
  • Iago: *picks up High Wizardry* Here we go.
  • Iago: Oh god. Setting up a computer in the nineties. This should be fun.
  • Iago: Dari wearing a Star Wars shirt makes me incredibly happy.
  • Iago: Nita's parents affronted by the fact that Dari can set up the computer without instructions is just perfect.
  • Mycroft: Dairine is the best Star Wars nerd.
  • Iago: She also likes X-Men, which is perfect.
  • Iago: "The sure way to make the world work for you was to know everything. Dairine sat home and busied herself with conquering the world." New favorite character? I think so.
  • Mycroft: I think she became like half the fandom's favorite character at that exact moment. Myself included--I can definitely relate.
  • Iago: *laughs* At least I'm in good company, then.
  • Iago: I hope Dari eventually conquers the world. We couldn't have a better ruler.
  • Mycroft: Amen to THAT.
  • Iago: Oh sweet lord Dari took the Oath we're all toast.
  • Iago: Dari with a lightsaber is a terrifying thought.
  • Iago: Dari's going to have an affinity for computer systems, isn't she?
  • Iago: Awwwww, Nita's upset that Kit didn't notice her new boobs!
  • Mycroft: Also consider this- since Dari took the Oath, she could probably make a lighsaber out of wizardry if she really wanted.
  • Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus we're fucked.
  • Iago: Oh look, Dari's created a second computer.
  • Mycroft: It's always good to have backups...
  • Iago: It's her Wizard's manual, isn't it?
  • Mycroft: I'm saying nothingggggg.
  • Iago: It's totally her manual. It's fucking taking her to Mars as we speak,
  • Mycroft: Okay yes. That is a thing.
  • Iago: Obviously that means she has an affinity for computers. I'm a writer. i know these things.
  • Iago: It also means that she might have and easier time with wizardry that Kit and Nita, because she just has to command the computer.
  • Mycroft: Brace yourself for the "computer wizard" puns. They're gonna happen.
  • Iago: YUS
  • Iago: How convenient is it that two of the *four* North American Senior Wizards live within relative spitting distance of our main characters?
  • Iago: Wait, puberty gives you more power? Fuck, why wasn't *I* a wizard? That could have made things a hell of a lot easier.
  • Iago: Souls are one to a customer *on this planet*? The hell does that mean?
  • Mycroft: It's a big, weird Universe out there...
  • Iago: Fair play to you.
  • Iago: Ah, the trouble with going to a place about which you know nothing: you find yourself talking to the luggage. I wouldn't be surprised if, at some point, Dari used the wrong verbs and ended up kissing a complete stranger.
  • Iago: Ah, planet-hopping youth. Always expecting something they're familiar with, when someone more experienced would know not to expect anything.
  • Iago: "Tentacled" being used as a way to describe how people get around brings me much joy.
  • Mycroft: SAME. Also, welcome to the Crossings. You'll be seeing a lot of it.
  • Iago: Oh boy. That sounds ominous.
  • Mycroft: Well, I mean it's a popular travel hub.
  • Iago: Fair enough.
  • Iago: Oh my god are those actually dinosaurs.
  • Iago: Holy shit it's like a bloodhound but it's a dinosaur yes good I approve of this.
  • Iago: Oh shit, now she's covering her trail. How the hell are Kit and Nita going to fin her
  • Iago: God, this galaxy sounds beautiful.
  • Iago: Kit and Nita in a "permanent partnership". *waggles eyebrows*
  • Mycroft: INDEED.
  • Mycroft: They're so adorably awkward.
  • Iago: Especially at thirteen and fourteen. This is perfect.
  • Iago: And we're back to Nita considering asking Kit what he thinks about "things".
  • Mycroft: Bless her beautiful relatable awkwardness.
  • Iago: Yes, Tom, tell the magical children to go to major law enforcement authorities. That can't possibly backfire in your face.
  • Iago: planet-sized computer chip = yes good.
  • Mycroft: Wasn't it terrifying when Dairine thought she'd fried her Manual. Stranded in the middle of a distant unexplored planet is not the greatest time for that.
  • Iago: It was too far from the end of the book for her to be dead just yet.
  • Iago: Ah! She's teaching it and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.
  • Iago: Oo! Dairine's manual is learning, too!
  • Iago: Oh god is she going to make the planet a wizard
  • Mycroft: ...MAYBE
  • Iago: Goody.
  • Mycroft: By the way, you didn't say anything about the Doctor's cameo...
  • Iago: Oh, of *course* that was him. I was wondering why he felt familiar. Which incarnation was that supposed to be?
  • Mycroft: Five. He's Diane Duane's favorite.
  • Iago: Ahhhh. Makes sense why I didn't quite catch it, then. I've never seen a Five story, and I really know very little about him.
  • Iago: oh god it was a *birthing* room?
  • Iago: "Kit, I didn't do it for you 'some'. I did it for you 'pretty much'."
  • Iago: I FUCKING SHIP IT SO GODDAMN HARD RIGHT NOW.
  • Mycroft: YES GOOD JOIN US
  • Iago: IS THERE SOME KIND OF INITIATION CEREMONY OR AM I JUST IN
  • Iago: BECAUSE I WILL WRITE FANFIC IF NECESSARY.
  • Mycroft: FANFIC IS ALWAYS GOOD
  • Iago: Also, That Fucker just blew up a star to kill Kit and Nita. How rude.
  • Mycroftt: Are we calling the Lone Power That Fucker now because I totally approve
  • Iago: We totally can. I figured that capitalizing the first letters of any creative epithet I come up with would get the point across.
  • Mycroft: And it totally did.
  • Iago: Aw, Dairine's making friends with the circuit turtles!
  • Mycroft: With!
  • Iago: Is that its name?
  • Iago: Apparently not. Too bad, that would have been cute.
  • Iago: Gigo's nice, too, though
  • Iago: Mycroft I want a circuit turtle
  • Iago: Oh my god Dairine has just created a new race.
  • Mycroft: YUP
  • Iago: Good lord she *could* take over the world.
  • Mycroft: I would probably support this.
  • Iago: We wouldn't be able to stop her. We probably wouldn't *want* to stop her.
  • Iago: Oh dear god the circuit turtles are going to take over the Universe
  • Mycroft: I think it's more like... reprogramming
  • Iago: They're going to remake the whole damn thing!
  • Iago: I legitimately do not know what the Lone Asshat wants from this encounter.
  • Iago: Oh my god Dari has just used one of my favorite lines.
  • Iago: "You're so full of it that if you had eyes, they'd be brown."
  • Iago: Ah, mental contact. Solves everyone's problems
  • Iago: *flailing* Dari!
  • Iago: GODDAMMIT MYCROFT IF SHE HAS TO DIE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE I QUIT LIFE
  • Iago: Nita and Kit showed up in the nick of time, and honest to god I was waiting for a, "Surprise, bitch."
  • Iago: "One might be intending to cripple or destroy that Power, but there was no need to be rude about it."
  • Iago: AND WHY NOT
  • Iago: RUDE IS FUN
  • Iago: WHY IS NITA USING HER LIFE FORCE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT'S THE WORST IDEA
  • Iago: PEACH
  • Iago: *incoherent shrieking*
  • Iago: MYCROFT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END YOU WHY DID YOU GET ME INTO A SERIES THAT HURTS SO MUCH
  • Iago: WAIT A SECOND HAS DAIRINE ACTUALLY BECOME GOD
  • Iago: SHE HAS SHE'S TOTALLY GOD
  • Iago: JEELSUS CRUST HOW
  • Iago: SHE CREATED A SPECIES AND NOW SHE'S ALMIGHTY WE MAY AS WELL JUST START WORSHIPPING HER
  • Iago: WAIT NO FUCK SHE CAN'T DIE SHE'S GOD
  • Iago: PICCHU. PICCHU IS BACK. IN A DIFFERENT FORM BUT FUCK I'LL TAKE IT.
  • Iago: THEY ARE ALL ALIVE
  • Iago: OH MY GOD NO ONE DIED
  • Iago: NO ONE ACTUALLY DIED HOLY SHIT
  • Iago: EXCUSE ME WHILE I ROLL AROUND ON THE GROUND, SCREAMING FOR JOY