i swear every where i go men just ruin my life

king-of-the-gay  asked:

I saw you do a fic rec and I wanted to know if you know of any good 8th year drarry fics or any drarry fics where Harry and Draco come back to hogwarts as professors

Anonymous said: Hiya! Do you know of any fics with Drarry teaching at hogwarts? Thank you!!

Anonymous said: So first of all, your recs are amazing and perfect omg 😍 and secondly, can you rec me your favorite fics where Harry is a DADA teacher (either with or without Draco being a potions professor).

HELLO, YES!!! Professor!Drarry is one of my favorite things ever!!! This list will cover all types of professing—all classes and some in which only one of them is a Professor :)

(Also for @king-of-the-gay, here are my 8th year drarry recs! I hope you enjoy both lists!)

Professor Drarry Recs

Professor Potter and his Magical Menagerie by dracogotgame (7.5K)- Harry Potter descends on Hogwarts with a horde of magical beasts. Professor Malfoy is not amused.
THIS FIC IS A HILARIOUS ADORABLE MASTERPIECE. It’s one of my favorites and Draco is so oblivious and he thinks he’s feared and hated but really he and Harry are the students’ favorite Professors and it’s just SO CUTE. (Potions Prof. Draco and Care of Magical Creatures Prof. Harry!)

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (115K)- Professor Malfoy’s world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.
I will never stop loving this fic. Contains petty pranks, one of those pranks going horribly wrong, Draco feeling guilty, a giant beetle named Stanley who is my favorite OC ever, Draco learning to be a fucking amazing Professor who cares, and hours of (Transfiguration) Professor Malfoy sitting by Flying Instructor Potter’s bedside. UTTERLY LOVELY.

The Re-education of Draco Malfoy by Veritas03 (31K)- In the aftermath of the war, it has been noted that many of the young witches and wizards who attended school during the second rise of Voldemort have received sub-standard educations. As a result, Hogwarts opens an adult education program in the summer to bring these students up to par in the workforce. Draco Malfoy, desperate to pass the NEWT for DADA, is among them. But his hopes are dashed when, on the first day of class, Draco discovers – to his horror – the new DADA professor has never even taught before – and is a student himself, still trying to pass Potions. And anyway – just how is Draco supposed to stay focused in class when Professor Potter is so totally hot?
I feel like the summary says it all for this fic. Being forced to go back to Hogwarts and Harry is Draco’s DADA Professor?! YES 100000000 TIMES

Newts by Astolat (14K)- “I’m twenty-eight!” Harry said. “I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?“
Pretty much the reverse of the above fic! Harry, on the cusp of becoming Head Auror, is forced to go back and get his NEWTS because of some ancient law. Potions Professor Draco does not make it easy for him ;). TRULY AMAZING!!

Homecoming by November Snowflake (27K)- Harry thinks spending two weeks as a guest lecturer at Hogwarts will offer the perfect chance to get away from his troubles. Then he meets his assigned faculty guide: Potions Master Draco Malfoy.
The kids are great in this fic and the development of Harry and Draco’s relationship is (of course!!) fabulous as well. I especially love it because both of them interact a lot with each other’s children AS THEIR PROFESSORS <333

Healing Touch by Digitallance & Arineat (19.5K)- After an accident forces Harry away from professional Quidditch and back to Hogwarts, he discovers the healing abilities of a certain former Slytherin.
Found this fic while searching for massage!drarry (hehehe) and was NOT DISAPPOINTED. Harry is the new flying instructor and Draco is the potions professor who is quite willing to help Professor Potter with his injury ;)

In Pieces by dysonrules (85K)- Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new DADA instructor, only to find his teaching efforts thwarted by a very familiar ghost.
THIS FIC THO! It is amazing and touching and it just took me apart and then put me back together again. It has all the angst you would expect to find considering Draco is a ghost but also I SWEAR THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING AND IT MAKES SENSE AND IS NOT PREDICTABLE OR CLICHE AND IDK HOW SHE EVER THOUGHT OF IT <3

More Than That by joosetta (11K)- This is a story about two 52 year old men who refuse to age gracefully.
Okay I love reading about middle-aged drarry, and they are at their best here. Harry is the new DADA Professor, Draco is horrified, and then their relationship develops slowly and it’s sweet and funny and everything heartwarming <3

Boom Clap (The Sound of my Heart) by @femmequixoticand @noeeon (39.5K)- Post-war Hogwarts has been energized by its new teaching fellows program. Where once bitter enmity divided the wizarding community, Malfoy and Potter chummily patrol hallways together whilst Granger and Zabini seek lost parts of the castle at McGonagall’s behest and Chang supervises Quidditch when not lecturing in Charms. It’s a veritable wizarding utopia and life is predictable for the first time in years. Which is, of course, when everything blows apart as the result of a drunken dare and Malfoy’s life is ruined beyond his capacity to repair it. Ever. In a million years.
Teaching fellows counts as professors, right? Right??? WELL I DON’T CARE because I love this fic and there is hallway patrol and EXPLOSIONS and pining!draco and I WANT YOU TO READ IT.

Transfigurations by Resonant (71K)- Five years after Voldemort’s defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.
First of all, Draco is the Muggle Studies Professor and BFFs with Hermione, and if that isn’t enough to draw you in (who are you?!), Hogwarts is newly reopening and there’s all kinds of daring, suspenseful adventure AND everything is exploding AND Harry is a pro at American magic, and you should really read it!!!!!

The Man in the Scarlet Cloak by @bixgirl1 (16.5K)- There’s usually a better time and place to participate in seduction than the Forbidden Forest. Unless, of course, it’s Mating Season. In which Draco is sneaky but not sneaky enough, Harry is confident but goes a bit mad, and the Trees are either incredibly romantic or just sort of perverts.
This fic has very little to do with actual teaching but DRACO IS A POTIONS FELLOW COLLECTING INGREDIENTS AND TALKING TO TREES AND HARRY IS AN AUROR COLLECTING FLOWERS AND WANKING IN THE FOREST IT’S NOT AS WEIRD AS IT SOUNDS (ONLY MAYBE IT IS) AND YOU MUST GO READ IT THIS MOMENT <3

‘Twixt the Sun and Sward by November Snowflake (30.5K)- A potions mishap has Harry and Draco meeting on entirely new—or is it old?—ground.
This is not your typical Professor fic, because it has de-aged!Harry living with Potions Professor Malfoy, who is forced to take care of him and who slowly realizes that Harry’s childhood was not quite how he had always imagined. VERY CUTE. Also note that it’s marked as an unfinished series, but when I read it, it felt very complete! :)

Love Actually by DracoWillHearAboutThis (17.5K)- “Harry,” she said quietly. “How long have you been teaching at Hogwarts now?”
Harry frowned, caught off-guard by the question.
“Six years, three months, and I guess about two weeks?,” he answered hesitantly.
“And how much of this time have you spent pining over our Charms professor?,” she continued, eyes flashing dangerously.
When even Minerva McGonagall wants to have a conversation about Harry’s love life, Harry realizes that it might be time to actually do something about this little crush of his. Since apparently, everyone knows, anyways.
“Everyone?!,” Harry repeated, his voice uncomfortably high-pitched in his panic.
“Everyone!”

Drarry / Love Actually crossover in which they are both Professors and yes you DID need this in your life.

Lessons in Humility by playout (86K)- After the dissolution of his marriage and a good bit of soul-searching, Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new Defense teacher. Go figure, it happens to be the same year Draco takes over the role of Potions Master. Neither man is happy about this turn of events. Will they be able to set aside their differences and learn a thing or two about trust and humility on the way? (Spoiler Alert: Yes. Very much so.)
This fic is EIGHTY SIX THOUSAND WORDS OF FLUFF AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND (Potions Prof. Draco & DADA Prof. Harry)

The accidental Husband

Part 5. Fires and Cure-all Stews (Final Part)

Previous Parts

Fireman!Dean x Reader

A/N: This is an AU inspired by the namesake movie. It doesn’t follow the same storyline, just the main concept. 

A/N2: For those of you who read Fate, yes, the vintage clock in this fic is the same one. *wink*

Summary: Dean gets dumped and apparently it’s all your fault. That’s why he and Charlie decide that a little payback is not gonna hurt and, if it does, well… then it’s just karma.

Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @daydreamingintheimpala @anokhi07 @driverpicksthemuusic @mysoul4dean @bitch-i-am-a-dean-girl @thing-you-do-with-that-thing@ amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498  @skymoonandstardust @apeshit7x @castiels-tardis-sound @squirrellover1967 @barneybrigade @emilypkuzu @aiaranradnay @tatortot2701 @electricbluecas @destinyhuntergirlfriend @samdean-67 @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic @keepcalmandbeajunkie @deanandsamsbitch @vanessa-monique @sharkeeshark @asgardianvamp21 @a-closet-full-of-skeletons  @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday  @deansbaekaz2y5 @aquabrie @moonstar86 @antiyouantimirrowantime  @keep-calm-and-omfg-jensen-ackles @smoothdogsgirl @lavieenlex @faithfulpanicmoon @lumiereaimante @awesomecocobambiworld @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @paigeee1023  

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Badass

YAY REQUESTS! Could you write a spence x reader where the reader is a badass, and introduces spencer to her friends which makes him really nervous about their relationship since he’s such an adorable lil geek? THANK YOU ILY  -Anon

Pairing: Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1929

Warnings: none really

A/N: I kept most of the requests from the old blog and will be doing them here. I have been working on this one for a while and since school is over, now i have some time to myself to write. I hope you guys like this, and share it with your friends :)

Originally posted by jeichanhaka

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Now I Know The Truth

3k of PB&J in a Soulmate AU

For the 14 Days of Love Fic-a-thon hosted by @softkent

Also on AO3


Despite the stories spun by Hollywood, every person had multiple soulmates. Every person was born with a phrase tattooed on their bodies. For centuries, people believed it to be the last words your soulmate (singular) would ever say to you. This inspired fear in most and lead to stories such as Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights.

In the last five centuries, however, global travel revealed the existence of multiple soulmates for each person. Even more interesting, telecommunications proved that each soul mark is in fact much more nuanced than simply ‘last words’. The mark is meant to indicate the moment when everything changes. Sometimes that means hardships, separation, or death. But sometimes, the words can lead to something greater. If only the soulmates know how to navigate life and each other.

Bitty didn’t know about this technicality until he got to Samwell. Until Shitty and Lardo literally run into Camilla at Winter Screw and realize all three of their marks synch up. The phrase “1 in 4, maybe more” is very appropriate considering the high percentage of soulmates that meet multiple partners at Samwell.

He tries to be happy for them as they fall into each other. He ignores the way Ransom, Holster, March and April circle around each other, avoiding the moment when they realize they’ve been in a relationship forever. He rolls his eyes when Ollie and Wicks sneak behind the docks before games to kiss their boyfriend, a Chad, for good luck. But Bitty thinks it’s sweet nonetheless.

He isn’t even jealous when Chowder breaks up a fight between Nursey and Dex saying “I love you, but this has got to stop.” Which just so happens to be Nursey’s phrase. And much later when Dex tells Chowder “you mean more to me than a stupid fight.” He’s happy for them. Especially when they meet Farmer and she ticks off every one of their phrases by the time their Frog year is over.

He doesn’t believe it’s gonna happen for him. Not at Samwell at least. His phrase could be worse.

We’re a team is branded in small font on his wrist. It’s still customary to keep your phrase hidden from the public eye, so he wore wrist guards when it’s hot out and long sleeves at every other opportunity.

Bitty thinks that’s nebulous, but distinct enough that he’ll know it when he hears it. His words don’t come for quite some time. In the interim, he falls in love with Jack whose phrase is supposedly hidden somewhere near his torso. He doesn’t think much of it when he overhears Jack and Parse fighting during the Epikegster.

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The Great Perhaps // j.j.

A/N: kinda an au (basically only the fact that jug’s dad isn’t head of the serpents) and also inspired by Looking For Alaska (which is my fav book so I loved writing this)

The two teenagers sit on the roof of the projection booth, Y/N flicking her cigarette ashes onto the ground below.

“Why do you like those so much?” Jughead asks, watching as she lets out a white puff of smoke. “Don’t they taste gross?”

“You get used to it after a while,” she replies, shrugging, “dunno it just…releases stress, as cliche as that sounds.”

“Where do you get them from anyway?” He questions, watching as she takes another drag. “None of us will be eighteen for another few months.”

“My dad’s guys, got a coupla them who either lend me some of theirs or buy me my own,” she answers, blowing out more smoke, “why all the questions Jug?”

“Just curious,” he shrugs, “you always seem to have them and there’s only one store around town that sells them and I know the owners know us, and they know that we aren’t old enough.”

“You trying to get me caught Jughead?” She teases, smirking slightly. “Cause if you are let me know, I’ll do my best not to run like I was taught.”

“What’s it like?” He asks, looking up at the night sky. “Your dad being the leader of Southside and everything?”

“It’s…” she trails off, taking a long drag and blowing it out into the dark sky, “indescribable.”

“C'mon Y/N,” he rolls his eyes.

“Okay okay,” she sighs, flicking more ash over the side, “it really is hard to explain it’s…it’s unstable as hell Juggie. A lot of old men in and out of my house and my dad coming in at all hours. My mom left a few years ago and um…just been me and my dad ever since.”

“And the cigs help with that?” He asks.

“If you’ve got such a problem with the smokes you don’t have to be here Jug,” she sighs, “everyone else has already left me, it wouldn’t be a surprise,” she places the cigarette between her lips, leaning back on her hands on the roof.

“You talking about Jason?” Jughead asks quietly, watching as the girl nods. “Don’t give him a second thought, he can’t handle his own shit, much less anyone else’s.”

“He’s dead Jug,” Y/N retorts, the cigarette now residing between her fingers.

Jughead sucks on the inside of his teeth, trying to choose his next words carefully. He knew that before the summer Jason was killed the red haired boy and Y/N were completely smitten with each other, the two of them being the talk of the town for months. That is, until the so-called golden boy found out about Y/N’s life outside of school, breaking things off with the girl and spreading rumors around the entire town. The poor girl has been heartbroken ever since, so it’s no surprise that people leaving is in the forefront of her mind.

“Yeah, yeah he’s dead,” Jughead nods, swallowing a bit, “and that sucks, and I’m sorry that everything that happened to you happened, but that doesn’t mean everyone around you is going to leave.”

Y/N looks at him, finishing off her smoke and nodding.

“You’re a good guy Jones,” she says, “every once in a while there’s someone genuine born into the world and in this case that someone is you. I’m glad I met you.”

“Thanks Y/N,” Jughead smiles, “I’m glad I met you too, and I’m not going to leave you, not like anyone else. I swear to god.”

She smiles, laying her head down on his lap, looking up at him.

“I’m gonna hold you to that Juggie,” she says in a whisper, “because I have a lot of people in my life that have left, I don’t want you to be one of them.”

“I won’t be, I promise,” he replies, swallowing back his nerves, “can I kiss you?”

She smiles, like she’s been expecting that question her entire life. Never mind the fact that the two had only known each other for a few months.

“I might taste like ash,” she says, “I did just finish my third smoke of the day.”

“I don’t care,” Jughead whispers, leaning his head down and pressing his lips to hers.

She’s right, she tastes like cigarettes. She tastes like cigarettes and winter mint chewing gum and honey and some how it all works. Jughead strokes her cheek rhythmically, their noses rubbing against each other because of the awkward angle but neither of them could care less.

“Hmm, that was nice,” she says, a smile on her face still, “more of that later, yeah?”

“Much more of that later,” Jughead replies, nodding, “much more.”

“Don’t sound too excited Jones,” she laughs lightly, taking one of his hands in hers and kissing it softly, “eagerness doesn’t look good on anyone.”

“I think anything would look good on you,” he says confidently, smirking a bit, “or nothing.”

“Oh my god!” She laughs properly this time, making Jughead’s smirk turn into a smile. “Not bad Juggie, not bad at all.”

“So what do we tell people?” He asks, leaning back on his hands as the two of them stare up at the stars. “Is this like…is this a thing or something? Because I don’t want to assume that it is but I also would really like it to be.”

“This can be whatever you want it to be,” Y/N replies, “I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before though, can’t guarantee I’ll be any good at it.”

“Jason wasn’t…you and him we-”

“What we had…we were kids,” she shrugs, “we were fifteen and we just let our hormones take over, it wasn’t anything serious. Especially after what he did to me.”

“What all went down with that?” He asks gently. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but everything was super hush hush after it happened so I haven’t ever heard the whole story.”

“He found out,” she replies simply, “found out about my dad and about what he’s done…about what I’ve done…he decided that I ruined his image, maple syrup boy couldn’t be bothered with the daughter of a Serpent, of the Serpent no less, not after everyone knew who I was.”

“That’s a stupid reason to leave you,” Jughead replies, “no it’s more than that…it’s cowardly. It’s awful and I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

“It’s okay Juggie,” she says quietly, placing her hand on his cheek, “in some sort of weird way it lead me to you, and for that I am forever grateful.”

Jughead hums happily at her words, swinging his feet as they dangle off of the roof.

“You said um…” he licks his lips a bit, “you said he left because he found out what you did. Can I ask exactly what that entails?”

Y/N looks back at the stars, biting down on her lip. She’s silent for a few moments, Jughead too nervous to even look down at her.

“I need another smoke,” she finally whispers, sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge.

“Look Y/N I didn’t mean t-”

“No, no, it’s fine Jug,” she shakes her head, pulling her lighter out of her pocket and the package of cigarettes out of her bag, “I’ll tell you I just…I need a little courage first,” she jokes, holding the smoke between her lips as she cups the lighter behind it.

Jughead watches as she flicks the flame on, holding it to the end of the cigarette and breathing deeply as it lights.

“I really need to do better at weaning myself off of these,” she whispers, shaking her head and placing it back between her lips.

She blows the smoke out into the dark, watching it disappear as Jughead looks at her.

“I was…I was thirteen no…no I was fourteen,” she says quietly, “it was about a year after my mom left I finally convinced my dad to let me tag along on a job, it went south…” she takes another drag, Jughead staying silent as she does, “my dad gave me a gun and um…some guy from the other side came rushing up on me and a bunch of other guys and I didn’t…I didn’t shoot him. I didn’t shoot him and because I didn’t shoot him he was able to shoot three of my dads guys before someone else got to him.”

Jughead’s eyes widen, his arm automatically going around her shoulders.

“It’s my fault, three guys are dead because of me,” she says, breathing in sharply, “anyway…when Jason found out…I guess the more accurate description of detail is when I told him, he flipped. Said I was the reason these guys were dead and that I was the reason the Serpents were taking over town,” she shakes her head again, breathing in more smoke, “and he left…he left right after that. Those were the last words he ever said to me. Besides the rumors and stuff, ya know.”

“God Y/N that’s…that’s terrible,” he says, shaking his head, “I am so so sorry.”

“I think the worst part is that we were fifteen when I told him,” she says, “I mean…it happened barely a year before and I thought…he was the first person I thought I could finally trust with it and obviously I was wrong.”

Jughead pulls her closer into his side, silently cursing himself for even asking.

“Sorry I usually…” she shakes her head, wiping her face with her sleeve, “I don’t usually get so emotional about this but…thinking about the whole Jason thing on top of it…I dunno, I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize,” he says, shaking his head, “you don’t ever have to apologize for how you feel Y/N, at least not with me.”

She smiles, taking another drag and blowing it into the darkness, snuffing out the flame after she’s done on the roof and tossing the butt down onto the ground.

“I believe that’s called littering Miss. Y/L/N,” he teases, causing her to laugh a bit.

“Whatcha gonna do?” She asks, smirking. “Gonna call Sheriff Keller on me?”

“I might just do that,” Jughead says, leaning a bit closer, “gotta keep the delinquents in check somehow.”

“Hmm,” she smiles again, looking down at his lips for a second, “I’m sure there are other ways to keep me in line Jones.”

“Yeah I…I guess I could figure something out,” he whispers.

Jughead presses his lips to hers, properly kissing her as she cups his cheek. He pushes some hair behind her ear, smiling slightly as they pull away.

“I think that was a good way of keeping me in line,” she whispers, biting down on her lip, “very efficient.”

“I think I’m starting to get used to the cigarette taste,” Jughead replies, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh no,” she shakes her head, “I’m already trying to quit, I’m not about to get you addicted too.”

“You’re different, you know,” he says, half smile on his face, “compared to anyone else in this stupid town. I like that. I like you.”

“I try to be,” she says, smiling properly, “and I like you too.”

Jughead smiles again, putting his arm around her as she leans her head on his shoulder.

“I wish you went to Southside,” she whispers, “actually, no I don’t. That place is hell.”

“I wish you went to Riverdale,” he replies, stifling a laugh, “it’s no paradise but it’s probably better than Southside.”

“Yeah, as if my dad would ever move us across the tracks,” she scoffs, shaking her head, “too far from his boys.”

“Yeah I know,” Jughead says, “probably better though, Riverdale sucks.”

“We’ve got more time together too, before you get sick of me,” she says, causing Jughead to sigh.

“I wish you’d stop doing that,” he says quietly, “stop referring to yourself like you’re something disposable.”

“Yeah, sorry it’s just…” she shrugs, “habit I guess.”

“Well I’m going to break it,” he says, “because you’re not disposable, not to me.”

“I’m glad you’re not from my side of town Jug,” she says quietly, “they don’t turn out boys like you over there.”

“If you ever need a place to stay,” he says, “somewhere to get away from all the drama you got going on…you’re always welcome. Always, I mean it.”

“Thanks Juggie, I appreciate that,” she says, “you know, you make it easier to not smoke.”

He smiles, kissing the top of her head.

“Glad I could be of service.”

“Stay with me, please.”

“Forever.”

Part Three, Chapter One: Wandering in the Wood

The Premise:
Jamie sends a dying Julia (aka Faith) and distraught Claire back thru the stones before he returns to the battlefield at Culloden, but there’s a catch.

Mother and daughter are separated on the journey.

Claire believes Julia to have remained with her father, and when she finds a small grave at Lallybroch bearing Julia’s name, it further solidifies this belief. Jamie, on the other hand, was left alone atop Craigh na Dun and believes his precious daughter to be in the future with his wife.

Julia was, instead, transported sixty years into the future ahead of Claire and grows up there. She is welcomed into a warm and loving family, but tragedy strikes as her adoptive mother is killed in a car accident. Three years later she is kidnapped by a band of buffoons looking for her birth parents.

This, my friends, is where we pick up in Part Three.  You can find links to read Parts One and Two here.


October 30th, 2017; Somewhere in the middle of the woods.
Julia.

The sun had set long before we got to where we were going, which was apparently somewhere in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina. It was pouring down rain and the windshield wipers could barely keep up. If I hadn’t been tied to it, I think I would have bounced out of my seat with the amount of potholes we hit. I swear Cruella was purposely hitting them all.

Our progress came to a stop quite suddenly and I wondered if we had hit something. Jasper unbuckled himself and moved to untie me. “Now, no–” he began.

Rolling my eyes as far as they’d go, I interrupted him, “No funny business, I know.”

The circulation to my hands returned in a rush and I rubbed them on the skirt of my school uniform to try to stop the unpleasant sensation. It didn’t really help. I peered out the front window, wondering where we were. A dim glow shone thru the downpour, but aside from that I had no idea what lay outside.

Horace slid open the door of the van and yanked me out into the freezing rain. He pulled me along beside him, straight thru the giant puddles that filled the front walk. A door opened ahead of us, illuminating our muddy path in a strange fluorescent light.

There was a man standing in the doorway, a silhouetted figure menacingly blocking our way.

“Here she is, boss,” Horace shouted to be heard above a roll of thunder and shoved me forward. I tripped and all but fell at his feet, whoever he was.

He steadied me with a firm grip on my shoulder as he held me out at an arm’s length for inspection. The light was still coming from behind him, shining right in my eyes and making it impossible for me to see. “Damn, you look just like him,” the figure commented.

Like who, my elusive birth father? This guy knew him too?

I felt like a guest on one of those prank shows. Surprise! This has all an elaborate hoax with hidden cameras! You’ve now completed level five and won a lifetime supply of Fruit Loops! In addition to these wonderful prizes, you get to confront the people who abandoned you as a child! All without parental supervision!

His hand lay heavy on my shoulder and made it clear that he was in charge.

Was this Crawford?

I looked up at him to see what he looked like as he ushered me inside, but found a rather ordinary looking guy. He wasn’t overly tall, maybe a little above average height, and didn’t have any remarkable facial features. His nose was straight, his teeth even.

Whatever I had been expecting to see as I walked thru the door, it wasn’t this. There were bulletin boards everywhere, each one carefully organized and labeled. A small table was shoved into the corner with two rickety chairs sitting next to it. Every surface was piled high with books and stacks of papers.

“How was your trip?” the man I assumed to be Crawford asked nonchalantly, letting go of me as the door closed behind us.

“Unexpected,” I quipped, growing colder and more annoyed by the second.

“I see you’ve your mother’s tongue too.” He turned to me as he picked up an apple out of a bowl of fruit and tossed it to me, “Hungry?”

I caught it easily and studied it for a moment.

This man believed a fairy-tale to be scientific fact.

I’ve seen Snow White. I know how this goes down.

I was not about to eat an apple offered to me by the bad guy and I tossed it back. “You take a bite first.”

He cocked an eyebrow as he did so, “It’s not poisoned.”

“Please excuse me if I don’t believe you,” I muttered and took it from his outstretched hand. Crawford shrugged indifferently as I took a bite. The tart, crisp apple made my mouth water and I devoured more than half of it before speaking again. “I take it you knew my birth parents, then?”

His eyes were guarded and his jaw clenched as he answered, “In a way.”

He knew them all right.

Something had happened between them and Crawford had been on the losing side, “They left me in the rain to die, what’d they do to you?”

One corner of his mouth tugged upwards at my sarcasm, “No love lost there, hmm?”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I lowered the apple and spoke distinctly. “What did my parents do to you that you think kidnapping me will solve?”

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roksanalyasin  asked:

DWC: #5 for poetry inspired prompts.

Thank you for the prompt, @roksanalyasin! ^_^

For @dadrunkwriting

Featuring my newest Inquisitor, Fenasha Lavellan, and Solas. Non-canon, set post-Trespasser.


You may write me down in history / With your bitter, twisted lies, / You may trod me in the very dirt / But still, like dust, I’ll rise [Still I Rise, Maya Angelou]  

Spider’s Web

“Fen’harel.”

She felt a vicious stab of satisfaction when he spun around, his face clearly displaying his disbelief. A second later, however, he had recovered, his face pulled into that neutral mask she was so familiar with. “Inquisitor.” 

She took a step forward, propping herself up on her staff for support. “I am not the Inquisitor, as you well know.”

“Though you may have stepped down, there are many who still associate you with the title.”

She hated Halamshiral. Everywhere she looked, her people were pushed to the background, trodden over, much like how the Winter Palace was built on the ruins of her ancestors.

They spoke about her even before she stepped foot into the palace grounds, not even bothering to lower their voices to a whisper.

“What is a rabbit doing dressed like that?”

“I hear she is the Inquisitor.”

“What? Such nonsense. How can one of those filthy things hold a title so honorable?”

“Just another knife ear. Reckon by the end of the night she’ll be scrubbing the stones of that path she’s walking on.”

They laughed, they jeered, they gazed at her with disgust - the women - and lust - the men. Through it all, she held her head high, never once losing her calm composure in front of them.

By the end of the evening, they hung on her every word as she stood next to the Empress and Briala, victorious, the fate of Orlais having been decided by her - a “knife-ear.” But she cared little. She did not need them; she had the Inquisition.

“If they did once, they no longer do so,” she scoffed. “You made sure of that.”

He had the grace to look guilty. “It was not meant to happen, I assure you.”

“Is that so? Forgive me for having a hard time believing it. You are known for the lies you tell, after all.”

“I do not lie about this, vhenan.”

“Do not call me that! Not after everything!” Her eyes flashed in anger, and she would have charged at him had it not been for her injured foot.

“You must know I would not have done anything that would have caused you direct harm,” he pleaded.

“If that was the case,” her voice lowered, “why did you not try and help me even once?”

She watched as they tore her - and the Inquisition - apart. It mattered little to them that she had given her sweat, her blood - no, her very life - to saving them. No, she was still nothing but a knife-ear to them, and like hungry, slobbering mabaris they eyed her Inquisition greedily, their hands reaching out to try and take the power she’d amassed for themselves.

And even then, even in the midst of that treachery and betrayal, she still worked to save them, ripping, slashing, her way through the Qunari hordes, giving up her arm - and her lover - in the process, and not once did they acknowledge what she had done for them.

She disbanded the Inquisition. She did not need it; she had her family, her  friends.

“I did not know where you were, Fenasha. I had my agents search for you, but you had vanished. Each time we found a trail, it lead us nowhere. How was I to help you, if I could not find you?”

“You could have helped,” she hissed, “by calling off your men. Do you know how many times someone has attempted to assassinate me? Do you know how many people have died in my stead?”

His look of horror almost convinced her that he was innocent. Almost.

“Ma’asha, vhenan, I did not know of this, I swear. Who came after you?” he demanded. “Tell me!”

“How would I know? They were your men!” she retorted.

She remembered his words the day everything unraveled around her. An enemy can hurt you, but only an ally can betray you. She had had to go into hiding after Briala betrayed her.

They called her the Dread Wolf’s harlot. The bards sang of how she had conspired with her lover to end the world, and would have done so had Corypheus not interfered. She could not step foot in any village for fear of being attacked by an angry mob. The shems hunted down her clan, attempting to slaughter them all for a falsehood that wasn’t even their fault; and she had been powerless to stop it.

She was left as Keeper and First and everything else of Clan Lavellan. She was all that remained. But she kept moving, even as a part of her soul shriveled and died, because she still had her friends.

“All of them?” he questioned, brow raised in skepticism. “A few rogue agents, I can believe, but if you have been attacked as many times as you say you have, I find it hard to assume that they were all my men.”

She looked away. “Not all of them,” she muttered the confession. “But make no mistake, Solas - they were all a result of your plan!”

“And what do you know of this plan of mine?”

“Enough to know that everything I have been through has been orchestrated by you! I may be a fool, but even I am not so blind as to miss the manipulations of a master puppeteer!”

His forehead scrunched up in confusion. “What manipulations?”

She scoffed. “Oh, please. Are you going to tell me that Briala was not working on your orders when she announced that I was your agent?” Her grip on her staff tightened till her knuckles turned white. “That one lie destroyed me. I lost everything; my clan, my friends, my home… everything.”

They had suffered a huge blow to their plans; with her name sullied, obtaining allies was next to impossible. Her friends tried to defend her the best they could, but even with Leliana’s secrets and Josephine’s tact, few refused to believe that the knife-ear who had falsely worn the mantle of Inquisitor was innocent. It was easier to believe that she was one of them, one of the rebel; the elven rebellion that hid in the darkness of the shadows and struck swift and deadly. She looked like them, and so they said she was one of them, even as she tried to prevent their cities from turning into rubble.

In the end, her association with those she considered her friends proved too dangerous for them, and she pushed them away in order to protect them.

And was left with nothing.

Five steps, and she was pulled into his arms, her staff falling to the floor unheeded as he crushed her to him. “Ir abelas, vhenan, ir abelas,” he breathed into the top of her head. “I am sorry for all you have been through, truly I am.”

She laughed, the sound bitter and mocking even to her own ears. “And what am I supposed to do with your apologies, Fen’harel?”

“I know you hurt,” he soothed, and suddenly, she felt calm and serene, almost as though she were in a daze. “But vhenan, would Briala’s statement have made that much of an effect if you were not an elf?” He gazed down at her, his eyes ringed with silver and gleaming in the low light of the decrepit building. “If you were human, they would not have turned on you, Fenasha. They would have branded her a liar. How much of what happened can you truly blame on me?”

She frowned; why wasn’t her mind working properly? “My clan,” she said at last. “You could have helped them… stopped the attack, or at least warned them…”

“Would you believe me if I told you I did warn them? I sent several agents to Wycome to tell them to leave immediately, that they were in danger. I offered to help them escape, to find them shelter until the shems rage ended. But they refused, secure in the belief that the humans they had befriended would not turn on them. And yet…”

“… the shems turned on them,” she finished dully.

 “I am so sorry,” he said again.

All the fight went out of her, and she slumped against him. “What do I do now?” she asked, her voice breaking. “Where do I go?”

“Stay with me,” he said, his hands wrapping around her wrists, his thumb stroking the soft inner part.

“I- can’t… I… shouldn’t,” she said, but she sounded uncertain.

“You can,” he persuaded. “What have the humans done for you? They do not appreciate you. You defeated Corypheus, and yet they told you that the Inquisition was a threat. They were so quick to turn on you at a single falsehood. They turned against your clan - and they claimed to be friends with your family, did they not? And what of your friends? Why are they not by your side? After everything you have done for her, surely Cassandra could have used her position as Divine to offer you sanctuary? But she did not, did she?”

“She offered,” Fenasha stated distractedly. “But I was worried the rest of the Chantry would turn on her…”

“For offering aid? Would they have felt the same if you were of their kind?”

“I… no…?”

“So why do you insist on standing for them?”

“If I don’t, then who will?”

He brushed his lips against hers. “Have you not given enough of your blood for them, vhenan? Do you not deserve some peace?”

“But- I-” Why couldn’t she remember why she had come here?

“Come with me, ma lath,” he whispered into her mouth. “You do not have to be alone.”

He was right. Why should she have to be alone? Why did she have to pay the price for the shems, after all that they had done to her? After everything that they had taken away from her? They did not deserve her.

Her people needed her.

They would not let her down.

She would not have to be alone.

She inhaled. “Yes, Solas. I will come with you.”

Lava Chasers

Title: Lava Chasers.
Words: 1, 429.
Pairing: Snowbarry/FlashFrost

Notes:
A few days ago, (11 according to Tumbrl) @asmilinghopelessromantic said she wanted this prompt written

Barry gets into the annoying habit of randomly yelling “THE FLOOR IS LAVA” and then one day Caitlin gets fed up and freezes his converses to the floor. “You’re protected from the lava now,” she says before kissing his cheek and strutting out like a QUEEN while Barry is calling her back because shit it’s hard to speed himself out of thick ice without help.

I thought it was cute and I need it a time away from my current fic so, here it is, it just a small, and goofy fic. I really hope that you liked it :D


It wasn’t uncommon for Team Flash to find new and exciting ways of unwinding after a long week of solving crimes, and saving the city; on some days they would go to Cisco’s apartment to see one of his favorites Sci-Fi movies, on other days, they would go to the bar, where somehow Barry, and Caitlin always mend up singing Summer Nights, on the days where they just were too tired, they often went to CC Jitters to enjoy the free time and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. In the years, they have been together Caitlin has learned to be open to trying new things, like that day when Barry and Cisco convince her to rock climbing, and laser tag, but when it came to finding new ways to bond and relax, things were getting out of hand.

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You’re Invited

(graphic by @d-s-winchester)

True Fluff Series
Word Count: 2325
Summary: A day a year in the making.
Warnings: You’re going to swoon a lot. I’m that confident in this piece.

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Jealousy Can Make You C.R.A.Z.Y

Character: Hyuna (4Minute)
Word count: 1150
Summary: Jealous of Hyuna and Hyunseung’s onstage relationship, you take your frustrations out through boxing. Only to overwork yourself and collapse one day | #angst #fluff


Originally posted by femaleidols

Stupid Hyunseung is smirking again. He probably think it looks sexy, however, he is wrong. Very wrong. It makes him look arrogant and revolting and those smirks of his are even worse when they’re aimed at MY girlfriend.

Kim Hyuna.

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Hanging On

DEADPOOL x READER

Anon Request: Deadpool x reader where the reader has a biokenisis power where she can affect the biology of living things (make them move/change physically how she wants) and is able to heal Wade. Vanessa had broken up with Wade and once she heals him he leaves to try and get her back (she expecting him to). She leaves for a while to try and get over her feelings and Weasle explains to Wade why she left when he asks where she was lately. Hope that makes sense!

A/N: I cannot apologize enough for this super late catch up on responses- life just happened but thank god for a holiday weekend! I will be writing more now so requests will be filled! I love you all!!!

Warning: Swearing because THIS IS DEADPOOL PEOPLE!

Originally posted by marvelheroes

Having a power sucked because everyone who knew you had one believed you were a superhero- you were super, but you weren’t a hero.

Project X was a fun little vacation your mind tried to block but the damn memories kept seeping through- the power reminder was the biggest trigger. Tortured beyond comprehension for days on end by Ajax, you finally broke and your power appeared like a nuclear bomb on your brain. As soon as you were conscious again, you discovered the biokenisis- you could move shit with your mind!

You knew most people thought that shit was epic but it was a sign of your weakness, you had failed to stay strong against the regime of Project X. The only redeeming thing about that hell was meeting Wade Wilson, he was hilarious and tried so hard to make you laugh, even when you were both exhausted from the agony.

“Hey Y/N?” he would ask you from his bed across the room.

“Yeah Wade” you answered, already knowing it was going to be a stupid joke.

“What do you call a cheap circumcision?” he chuckled prematurely.

“What?” you`d smile, looking at the ceiling.

“A rip off” he guffawed at his own joke.

“Jesus, Wade” you`d complain but laugh anyway.

He was the burst of light in this hellhole.

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Take Away the Pain

[title]: Take Away the Pain

[pairing]: Bucky x Reader

[prompt]:  Hi!! You have a really nice blog! Could I ask for an imagine with Bucky —lordhavemercy— Barnes and the reader where she and Bucky doesn’t talk too much but he likes her and one day she gets harassed by her ex, Bucky helps her and smut? Thaaaaanks :D

[warnings]:  fluffy smut, swearing, mentions of harassment, sort of misogyny 

[a/n]: yup im writing smut, just weeding out the weak. jk i can’t even handle that much smut

Originally posted by enochianess

           They had barely even spoken a word to each other, let alone gone out together. But it was a special occasion and no one else knew what to do with her.

           It had been a surprise to everyone when Y/n came stomping furiously through the compound, slamming the door loudly behind her. Throwing her coat onto the floor, she shoved her arms across her chest and stormed into the living room where Bucky and Steve had been sitting, deep in conversation about “the YouTube”.

           “Y/n are you okay?” Steve cleared his throat before asking carefully, knowing that she was basically a ticking time bomb when she was mad. “No I’m not okay!” she directed her anger at Steve. “Wanna talk about it?” Steve pushed. A sigh escaped Y/n’s lips as she leaned against the wall. “I don’t know Steve! Do men not fucking think before they do things?! Do they not think that maybe they might be in trouble if their girlfriend finds out that they’ve been fucking five other women?!” she yelled, throwing her hands up in frustration as she spoke.

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Almost Died Last Week - Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 1059
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Featuring: Clint Barton
Warnings: swearing, spying
Requested by @winteriscomingidjits via messages
Authors Note: This is a fic based off of this post! YAY! Also, you know how before the Avengers formed, Nat and Clint worked at SHIELD? Let’s pretend that’s the time setting of this fic, it’s kinda nifty. aye.

Masterlist


“All good, Barton, you’re sure this is the right person?” Natasha asked over the phone.

“Positive, it’s what my sources are calling the one with the information. I need you to talk to them to figure out-” Clint began to tell Natasha all the things he needed to know, and Natasha wrote them down. She nodded her head every time he gave her something, even though he couldn’t see her.

“I’ll be right on it,” She said, “I’ll call you when I get something.”

Natasha booked a hotel room near where the informant was suspected to be. She researched the places nearby looking for the person who fit the description. Asking around local bars, restaurants, and diners, she needed to find the person. People said they knew of them, they were visiting, but didn’t understand why this strange woman was suddenly asking for one of the least trouble makers in town.

Natasha walked into the coffee shop she visited every day since she had been in this city. She was not expecting that finding this person would be hard; it wasn’t a huge town! She ordered the same drink and sat down at the corner table, connecting her laptop to the free wifi. She watched the people around her as her computer loaded up, just as a worker walked up to her.

“You’re the lady looking for a very specific person, yes?” A teenager asked Natasha.

She nodded, “That’d be me.”

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Roses & Daises - Part 2

Part 1 Can be read HERE

Warnings: Swearing… Violence, Death, Sexually Suggestive Content.

~~

Another day, another good set, another good pay check… you started to enjoy work nights, roses became a frequent thing to pop up in your dressing room, so much so you could smell them just walking by the room…

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Two Worlds - Part 4 (C.H.)

A/N: This will be the last part to Two Worlds. Thank you to all of you that sent lovely comments on the imagine in my ask :)

Masterlist || Ask

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

****

Amber was standing in the doorway giving you a smirk.
“Momma!” Greyson exclaimed happily.
You gave her a look to which she flickered her eyes over at Calum then back to you.
“Hi, baby. You ready to go home now?” She asked Greyson as she picked him up.
Greyson nodded after finishing his last spoonful of ice cream. “Done!”
She raised an eyebrow at you. “And who thought that it’d be a good idea to give him ice cream?”
You immediately pointed at Calum who had a shocked look on his face before pointing at you.
“He did!” You told her at the same time Calum said, “She did!”
Amber shook her head as she tsked the two of you. “I blame both of you.”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s still Calum’s fault,” you mumbled.
“It is not! You promised him ice cream if he came out of our hiding spot!” Calum pointed out.
“Yeah, after you promised him a treat if he didn’t tell on you for swearing in front of him,” you said back.
“That didn’t necessarily mean that it would be ice cream!”
“I swear. The two of you act like such children,” Amber voiced.
You both pouted in response.
She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m heading home now. Thanks for watching Greyson, Y/N.”
You smiled at her. “Anytime, Ambs.” You blew a kiss to Greyson. “Bye, Grey.”
He blew a kiss right back to you. “Bye, Y/N!”
Calum raised his hand for a high-five. “Bye, bud.”
Greyson high-fived his hand with a big smile. “Bye, Calum!”
“Mr. Calum,” Amber corrected him.
Calum shook his head. “Nah, he can call me Calum. I don’t mind.”
Amber still looked slightly unsure but reluctantly agreed. “Very well, Sir.”
Calum switched his gaze to her. “That applies to you as well, Amber.”
She looked surprised. “Oh, um, it will take some time to settle in, Sir…I mean, Calum.”
He nodded. “No need to stress over it.”
She smiled. “Okay, then. Goodnight. I’ll see you both tomorrow then.” Then Amber and Greyson left the kitchen.
“You know, you were really good with Greyson. Apart from the swearing,” you told Calum as you picked up the dirty bowls to wash them in the sink.
“It’s my job to be able to get along with everyone. Besides, you know how much I love children,” Calum replied as he stood beside you at the sink. “You wash, I’ll dry.”
You started washing the first bowl. “I remember how you always said that you wanted three kids. Two boys and one girl so that you would have two other men helping you protect your two ladies.”
Calum chuckled beside you. “I can’t be outnumbered. I wouldn’t be able to protect you all.”
You sighed as you rinsed the last bowl and handed it to Calum. “Would it still be possible?” You whispered quietly.
He placed the dried bowl with the rest of the dishes and turned to face you with furrowed eyebrows. “Would what still be possible?”
You looked up into his eyes. “Us. Our future.”
He frowned. He grabbed your hand and led you back to the kitchen island that you, him, and Greyson had been eating at. He took a seat on one of the stools and pulled you so that you were standing in between his legs. “Of course. I’ll always want a future with you, Y/N.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“But we broke up…” You trailed off awkwardly.
“Technically, we never officially broke up. You just moved into that secret room that you think I know nothing about,” Calum told you.
You blushed. “How’d you find out?”
He laughed. “You’re forgetting that I was born and raised in this castle, Y/N. I was a very curious child that loved to explore so I pretty much know every secret to this castle. Besides, I saw you outside once when you were looking out the window.”
You smacked his shoulders. “Why didn’t you come and find me then?” You frowned.
He rubbed your arms. “Out of all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you so mad. I knew better than to annoy you.”
You still frowned. “It would have been nice to know that you cared enough to go after me.”
“Hey.” His tone had you looking straight at him. “I will always care about you. Never doubt that in your life. You mean so much to me. The only reason why I didn’t go after you is because I wanted you to cool down and clear your head. If I had gone after you, I’m pretty sure we would have still fought to the point where we did actually break up. And…” He smiled at you.
“What?” You asked as he left you hanging.
“I wanted to give you space as a start of your freedom and for me to be less controlling,” Calum stated.
You smiled widely. “No way. Are you serious?!”
He nodded with a laugh. “Yeah. I didn’t realize that my overprotecting state had driven you away and caused you to sneak around behind my back. I don’t want that in our relationship. I want us to be completely honest with each other from now on. I want you to tell me if something is bothering you and I will do the same and we can compromise so that both sides of the argument are met.”
You couldn’t help it. After weeks of not being around him, you couldn’t help but fling yourself at him and kiss him.
You could tell he was surprised by your actions by the way he had briefly froze, but soon relaxed as his arms wrapped around your body and he smiled into the kiss.
“Fuck, I’ve missed your lips,” Calum murmured against your lips and reattached his lips to yours.
You giggled and pulled away. “Is that all you missed me for? My lips?”
“Did you not hear my whole speech about how much I care about you just a second ago?”
“Oh, no. I heard it. I just wanted to hear you say that you missed me for all the other reasons again.” You smiled cheekily.
He tickles your sides and you thrashed in his arms from side to side. “You little shit.” He stopped tickling you and pecked your lips. “But you’re my little shit.”
You ran your fingers through his hair. “So I take it that we are back together and all is well?”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s what you being my little shit meant.”
You shoved him. “Way to ruin the moment, Calum.”

~Months Later~

“Babe, have you seen my-” Calum’s voice started as he walked into the tv room where you were sprawled across the couch, but soon stopped mid-sentence as he took in your appearance. “At least I know where my flannels have been disappearing to. I was starting to think I was losing it.”
You shrugged from your position on the couch. “Nah, you are losing it.”
“Jerk,” he pouted at you.
You waved your hand at him. “I like your flannels.”
“I got you some that are exactly like the ones that I wear,” Calum pointed out with a stern voice.
You pouted. “But they’re not yours and they don’t smell like you.”
You could see Calum’s strong resolve breaking as you pouted at him some more.
He broke. “Dammit. I hate that your pout works on me but mine don’t work on you.”
You smiled and opened your arms out to him. “I’m superhuman. Now, come cuddle with me.”
He shook his head with a smile and made his way over to you. He snuggled up on the couch beside you and looked at the tv. “Inside Out?”
“It is a very good movie!” You defended.
“Oh my God. Are you defending a movie?” Calum laughed.
“Yes, because I’m lame like that.”
“You’re not lame, babe. I’m just teasing.”
“Mmm, better be, Hood.”
He kissed your ring finger where a nice piece of jewelry had been added a few months ago. “Always, future Mrs. Hood.”

___________________________________________

Weddings & Plastic Dinosaurs

(CACW) Peter Parker x Reader

Request:  Can I have an imagine where the Reader and Peter are getting married and Steve and Tony are co-best men and Gwen Stacy is the maid of honour? And can it be really cute and sweet and stuff?

Warnings: Fluff, mild swearing, plastic dinosaurs

Tags: @stantasticstan, @agentcarter24601, @theflashrunner

Note: I’m alive.


You had known Peter since kindergarten. You remembered the first day you had met him, so, so many years ago. Your tiny toddler self had chucked a small, brown, plastic dinosaur at toddler Peter’s head, causing him to cry and throw a fit. The teacher had been forced to separate the two of you from each other, for fear that you might pummel each other to death with your tiny baby hands. Not exactly the best start off to a friendship. But you and Peter had always been best friends nonetheless, no matter how many plastic dinosaurs were thrown at each other. He had even kept the original little plastic dinosaur as a keepsake of the first day you guys had ever met.

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kraken-with-a-plan  asked:

What's your personal favorite Kurtofsky fanfic(s)? :)

I just went ahead and copied my fic rec page off my personal blog.

A Change of Pace - After Blaine rejects him, Kurt falls into a relationship with Karofsky. COMPLETE.

About Trees and Empty Forests- Future Fic! Deliciously Angsty. Kurt works as a dancer at a gay bar, and Dave believes he is a hooker. WIP.

Accidentally in Love - Kurt and Dave happen to get drunk married in Vegas. COMPLETE.

Acts Like Summer, Walks Like Rain, Freeze Dried Romance, and Sail Across the Sun - “Kurt gave Dave his number after Prom. And that should have been it, because Dave was never going to call.” COMPLETE.

Ain’t Nothin’ But a Heartache* - “Dave works at Home Depot and Kurt plans on decorating a lot this summer.” I love the Azimofsky in this fic too. COMPLETE.

All Along… It Was You* - My favorite MPreg fic… Ever. It’s so unique, and even after reading two, maybe three, times, I cried. I’m not giving anything else away. Just read it! COMPLETE.

A Tiny Infinity - Kurt and Karofsky might attend the same college, but that doesn’t mean Kurt knows anything about Karofksy, including whether or not he’s suddenly hot. COMPLETE

Between the Blue LinesIt’s been years but Dave would recognize Kurt Hummel anywhere…even in Annecy, France. 2018Olympic!Future!Fic. COMPLETE

Blood on the Tracks - “Seven years later and Dave Karofsky is back in Lima after swearing to never look back. He has no idea that in store for him is a long night filled with sex, sadness, love, conversations, and Bob Dylan.” COMPLETE

Bright Lights and Paying CustomersIt’s been six years since Kurt Hummel’s apparent suicide, and when Dave finds a drug-addicted prostitute that looks eerily like his high school crush, he just can’t let it go (sad with a happy ending). COMPLETE.

Catch Me - “Kurt has not planned for this at all. They were not supposed to meet again, certainly not like this. It doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, if he can convince himself of it.” Oneshot. COMPLETE.

Cell MatePrison orange is so not Kurt’s color, but unfortunately that is the least of his troubles when he finds himself in a place where dropping the soap is more than just an annoyance in the shower. With no street skills and sparkly pink toenails, things aren’t looking up for Kurt—especially when he’s assigned to the cell of the terrifying bully who landed him in this place in the first place…  (Also a very sad story) COMPLETE.

Circumstance and Luck -  ”Dave led a boring life as a practicing nurse, trying to atone for the mistakes of his youth. Then Kurt waltzed into his life with an infant son and a whole mess of trouble following him.” AU. COMPLETE.

Coffee With Karofsky and Sequel, All I Want- When Kurt agrees to meet Karofsky for a coffee, little do either of them know just how entwined their lives will become. COMPLETE.

Coquetry and the Culinary Arts -Dave’s goals have changed with almost every other aspect of his life. After failing to get into his chosen college, he takes a risk and tries something else he never had the guts to do before, leaving sports behind to train as a chef at the Culinary Institute of America. But he can’t outrun his past when he meets a familiar face that gets friendlier by the day. WIP.

Counters - Dystopian AU. Dave & Kurt meet on the floor, pedalling to earn credits to buy their chance out of the drudgery, and are drawn together in a world that won’t let them have what they want. Can they stick to the rules, work their way towards their dreams, or will they risk it all to be together? WIP

Days Are LongKurt’s getting ready to leave for college and trying to find a place for all of the men in his life. Dave’s trying to find any place that will have him. Follows the events of ‘Dance with Somebody.’ WIP

Destiny Won’t Let You Give Up - Dave wakes up on the day of “the kiss” and keeps reliving that day until he gets it right. As to what is “the right way”, that’s for him to find and for life to give him chances to figure it out. Over and over again.”  COMPLETE

Hand in Glove - “Just when Dave thinks he might, finally, be getting over Kurt Hummel, who walks into Scandals on a Friday night and changes everything? Yep, Kurt f***ing Hummel.” COMPLETE

It Was You- An alternate version of “Heart”. (Makes me wish it could have gone this way). COMPLETE.

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself and Sequel, Grace Under Pressure, Courage Under FireIn response to all the bullying, the school holds a Challenge Day. Part way through Karofsky ends up outing himself. COMPLETE.

One Thousand Kisses - “Dave Karofsky makes a semi-triumphant return to McKinley, Sebastian is weaselly, and everyone sings their feelings.”Phenomenal story. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. COMPLETE.

Paragraph 175 - “Kurt discovers that Karofsky’s hatred has its roots in something that happened between their families during the Holocaust. The title refers to the German law that made homosexuality a crime.” COMPLETE.

Psychotherapy, Bullshit, and the Art of Losing Control - Life has not been kind to Dave since Kurt Hummel left. After he gets involved in another fight at school, he’s given a choice by Emma and Figgins. To keep his parents out of it, he agrees to attend mandatory counseling sessions with McKinley High’s guidance counselor. COMPLETE

Sting - “It’s been sixteen years since Dave Karofsky has seen Kurt Hummel. Since that time, Dave’s become an FBI agent and Kurt has not become an art forger.” COMPLETE.

Surfaces May Be Hot to Handle -  After a freak storm Kurt is left with a strange new power. Absolutely anyone who touches him must have him. Regardless of sexuality, gender or previous reservations. And he’s not the only one with powers. Based on the TV show The Misfits. COMPLETE. 

The Homefield Advantage - “Kurt, home from Hollywood to help his ailing father, is getting a chance to see all his old friends once more, will his heart be swept away by the first boy to give him COURAGE? Or will his old foe—now a *professional* sweaty, chubby bully (for the NFL nonetheless)—intercept his old crush and run with him, straight for a touchdown?” COMPLETE

The Kurtofsky PostSecret Verse - “Dave Karofsky’s life changed when his anger management therapist lead him to postsecret.com.” WIP.

The Rainbow Network - “Dave’s therapist orders him to visit a gay-teen counseling website. One improbable coincidence later his life is completely ruined. At least until it’s all made better.” COMPLETE.

These Are the Golden Days- “Dave sends Kurt a letter.” Three parts of pure amazingness. Read it! COMPLETE

Third Time Lucky - ”Somehow the dead heat of summer gives rise to the mother(fucker) of all second chances. The road to redemption is paved with fights, phone calls, false starts, and more than a few jokes at the expense of the lovable Finn Hudson.” COMPLETE

Turning Tables - “Desperate to forge a friendship with Kurt, Dave invents a sex life that exist only in his mind.” Awesome revenge sex, plus top!Kurt/bottom!Dave. COMPLETE

Enjoy!!!

PS: The “*” indicates you need to go through the author’s masterlist to find the story/chapters.

2

Best Friends Before Hoes (Austin Carlile - Of Mice & Men)

Word Count: 2,203

SAMMI

As I waited for the band to arrive at arrivals I couldn’t keep myself still, Of Mice & Men had just finished touring and for the first time I was unable to go with them because of my work. I’d missed the boys I called my brothers, especially Austin because I’d known him all my life. Throughout the tour we all Skyped and messaged each other, and I had to deal with Alan, Aaron, Tino and Phil complaining about Austin’s new girlfriend Pamela who had gone on tour with them instead. I didn’t exactly see eye to eye with her, she hated how close Austin and I were. It actually made me glad I couldn’t tour with them because three months on a tour bus with her and I probably would have gone mad like the rest of the guys.

‘There’s my little Sammi.’

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Austin shout my name across the terminal. I turned to face him and the rest of the guys with a huge smile on my face, Pamela just glared at me from behind Austin and I rolled my eyes.

‘And there’s my big Austin.’

Austin picks me up and spins me around making me squeal before kissing my forehead and lowering me to the ground. We had a very odd kind of relationship, to the outside world it looked like we were dating because of how close and touchy feely we were around each other but to us we just really close friends.

‘I swear you keep getting smaller Sammi.’

He pats my head and I push him away playfully before I’m attacked by the other four guys and nearly knocked to the floor. They hug me and tell me how much they’ve all missed me and how awful it was not having me on tour with them as their merch girl.

‘Get off me, some of us happen to have grown up jobs and can’t jump up and down on stage every night.’

All the guys get off me but Alan stays and slings an arm around my shoulder casually but we both notice Austin giving us an odd look, was he jealous? Alan leans over and whispers in my ear.

‘I think Austin is a little jealous Sammi. You have no idea how hard it was dealing with Pam’s whining for the last three months, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. She’s only using Austin for his fame and money; he should be with someone like you. It’s obvious to everyone that the two of you are made to be together. Anyway how have you been?’

I found myself blushing slightly at Alan’s comment about Austin and I dating, he was happy with Pam and I wasn’t about to ruin our friendship over something like that. I sighed and leaned against Alan before handing my phone over to him with the Twitter feed dedicated to sending me hate and death threats open.

‘Whoever set up this account is out to get me Alan. The amount of followers it has scares me and it grows each day. What does this person have against me? I don’t even know them. Some of the comments are personal, as if they know me. None of my friends would ever do something like this.’

Alan read the feed and scowled before closing the Twitter app.

‘They’re just jealous because you get to hang out with the best five people in the whole world. Just know that all of the guys love you and will defend you with our lives, you’ve supported us from the start and will always be a core member of the OM&M family Sammi. Keep your head up and keep smiling.’

I nodded at Alan and let his words sink in; I shouldn’t let this person hate get to me as much. So what if a handful of fans hated me, I had the five best friends anyone could ever want and I wasn’t going anywhere soon.

‘Hey Sammi can I have a word?’

Pam walked over to Alan and I and I actually held onto him to stop him from leaving. I didn’t like being left alone with her because she always had something cruel to say about me, whether it was my appearance or how I was sponging off the band.

‘What do you want Pam? Can’t you see Alan and I are busy?’

She gave us both one of her fake smiles which she saved for when she was around Austin.

‘I just want to say to keep you skanky hands off my man. He needs a woman in his life and not some little girl, he’s only keeping you around because he feels sorry for you. You’ll never amount to anything; you’re a useless dead weight in more than one way. I mean look at you, do you shop in the little girls department? If I ever see you touch my man again I will personally make your life a living hell.’

I was gobsmacked at her open verbal attack, especially in front of Alan who was Austin’s best friend in the whole band. Alan opened his mouth to defend me but I stopped him.

‘She’s not worth it Alan, at least I’m not a gold digging whore who looks like a clown vomited on my face. Have you heard of matching your foundation to your skin tone? The orange look makes you look old.’

I didn’t know where those words came from but when they left my lips I was proud that for once I stuck up for myself. A smirk came across Pam’s face before she slapped herself. I was confused as was Alan until we noticed Austin and the rest of the guys had stopped and were facing us. Pam started to cry and threw herself at Austin clutching her red cheek.

‘What happened babe?’

‘Sammi just slapped me and called me a gold digging whore who wears too much makeup. Why does she hate me Austin?’

I had to give Pam props she was one hell of an actress.

‘Austin it’s not what it looks like. Sammi didn’t slap Pam, she slapped herself. You should have heard the harsh things she was calling Sammi.’

Austin ignored Alan and turned to face me with fire in his eyes, I’d never seen him this mad before.

‘Why would she slap herself Sammi? I know you hate her but I never thought you’d sink this low; I can’t even look at you right now. Get out of my sight.’

Austin’s words cut deep; he was taking her side after everything the two of us had been through together. Well at least I now knew where his alliances stood.

‘Screw you Carlile. If you can’t see how much of a bitch she is then maybe you’re perfect together. All of you can get your own ride home.’

I all but ran past the guys and a smirking Pam as tears pricked my eyes as I left the airport distraught. Austin and I had never once had a single fight but since Pam came into our lives was this the end of us?

AUSTIN

I managed to calm Pam down by the time we got back to my place, I couldn’t believe Sammi would do something like that. Yes Pam wasn’t the easiest of people to get to know and yes the guys hated her but I expected support from my best friend. Maybe Sammi and I were going in different directions.

Before Sammi slapped Pam I overheard her telling Alan how the Twitter hate was getting worse. Since my phone was dead and I saw Pam had left her laptop open I decided to do a little investigating. However when I typed in Twitter I was shocked to see the account that Pam was logged into. She was logged into the hate account dedicated to hating on Sammi, but why?

As I scrolled through the tweets I saw one that was posted not long after the airport, it was very detailed and called out for Sammi to kill herself because she was dead weight and I only kept her around because I was sorry she’d never be as famous as me. I unlocked Pam’s phone and opened the email attached to the Twitter and was appalled to see that she was the creator.

‘Hi babe what are you doing? Oh shit it’s not what it looks like.’

Pam tried to tackle the laptop and phone out of my hands but I managed to keep a hold of them. She didn’t sound sorry in her tone.

‘Why Pam? What did Sammi ever do to you?’

She smirked and flicked her hair over one shoulder.

‘It started off as a little fun and then I realised that my words were getting to her and I actually enjoy ripping her apart. Most of your fans hate me and love her, but now I gave her haters a home and they love me Austin. Look at my followers.’

‘Did you slap yourself at the airport?’

She nodded and smiled.

‘I did and it was so easy to blame Sammi and you just told her to get out of your life. No she’s no longer in the picture we can be together with no distractions babe.’

I now felt awful for the way I treated my best friend, her and Alan tried to tell me but I was so in love with Pam that I thought they weren’t being honest. Pam tries to wrap her arms around my shoulders and kiss me but I shove her away roughly and stand up.

‘Get the hell out of my apartment Pam. We’re done; I will not have you send death threats to my best friend. Sammi has never once asked me for money and rejects it when I offer it to her, where as you on the other hand spend and spend. Get out of my life for good Pamela.’

She looks shocked before swearing under her breath and storming out of the front door. I needed to make it up to Sammi and see if she’d forgive me for earlier, I’d never yelled out at her before and I made her cry. Now I knew where the hate was coming from maybe I could defend her more.

SAMMI

Baking always made me feel better. I’d just pulled out a fresh batch of choc chip cookies. I’d been ignoring the guys calls and messages wanting some alone time. I’d taken a bubble bath and gotten into my Totoro onesie before putting in The Little Mermaid which was my favourite Disney film. I intended to have a cookie and Disney night to forget everything that happened at the airport.

The front door of the apartment opens and I sighed, forgetting that all the guys had a key because they practically lived here when not at the studio.

‘Whoever it is go away I’m not in the mood.’

I felt strong arms wrap themselves around my waist and before I could scream I relaxed upon seeing familiar tattoos up the length of their arm. Still in his grasp I turned around and looked up from under the hood of the onesie. Austin stood smirking down at me.

‘What do you want Austin? Didn’t you say enough earlier?’

His smirk falters and turns into a frown.

‘I never should have yelled out you Sammi. I broke up with Pam. It turns out she’s behind the Twitter hate account, I should have believed you and Alan but I thought I loved her.’

I was shocked to hear the revelation that Pam was behind all the hate that explained all the personal remarks. I should have been madder at Austin but I’d never been able to stay mad at him for long, I sighed and wrapped my small arms around his waist.

‘I never liked the bitch anyway and neither did the guys. You could do so much better Austin. Now I’ve just baked some cookies and have paused The Little Mermaid, how about we forget all our problems tonight?’

Austin chuckles and rests his chin on top of my head.

‘I think Disney and cookies sound perfect Sammi.’

Austin and I snuggled up on the sofa with the plate of cookies between us as I resumed the movie. Austin gave the best cuddles and sometimes I never wanted to leave his embrace. We fed each other cookies and half way through the film I noticed Austin was paying more attention to me then he was to the movie.

‘Are you okay Austin?’

He grins and strokes my hair.

‘I would do this every day with you if I could Sammi.’

My heart fluttered a little at his casual remark. Did Austin like me? I needed to test the waters.

‘Then why don’t we.’

At first he looks surprised by my answer but it quickly changes into an unreadable expression before he cups my chin and brings his lips to mine gently. What made the moment more cliché was the song ‘Kiss the Girl’ started to play in the background as I deepened the kiss.