i struggled so long with this decision


I’ve been struggling a bit lately with some chronic pain and anxiety but today I made the spontaneous decision to paint - which I haven’t properly done in over a year - and I am feeling so, so delightful. I haven’t felt this at ease in a long time. I just put on some tunes and sat and made art and my heart feels so light. I feel okay. LOOK AT THE PASTEL COLOURS! I F*CKING LOVE PASTELS! I’ve never been a confident painter, but I was able to mask that by putting my doodling to use over it and I’m sooooo pleased with the result. (The one on the right - the left isn’t finished yet.) 


Successful People Start Before They Feel Ready

“If you’re working on something important, you’ll never feel ready. A side effect of doing challenging work is that you’re pulled by excitement and pushed by confusion at the same time.” – James Clear

The Start-Up Guy is well underway. I have been working with several businesses, including a very exciting Johannesburg-based business which is launching in the next two months. I am so honoured that they used and continue to use my services.  

I’ve noticed a common trait amongst all the guys and girls I’ve been working with recently, and I thought it might be useful to share because I think many other people are experiencing the same thing.

Almost all entrepreneurs don’t know what they’re doing and it’s perfectly okay. In fact, I don’t know of a single one who, at the outset, knew exactly what they needed to do and when to do it. Before your mind does that thing where it jumps to conclusions, let me explain.

A start-up is an experiment, a matter of trial and error. No one can be fully certain about the route it will take. At best, one can have a firm idea of the intended outcome, but whether that transpires is all dependent on the market’s response to your idea (and who really knows what that’ll be? Right?).

Sir Richard Branson has one of the most interesting entrepreneurial stories, for me, because he started many of his companies largely by mistake. He dropped out of school to continue a magazine business he had no idea was going to sustain him. As a way to grow his magazine sales, he started distributing music records made by unknown artists to his readers, and so began the journey of Virgin Records. He started Virgin Airlines after he was delayed by his flight facing maintenance issues before take-off. This guy is the epitome of just getting on with it. This guy is also worth $5 Billion today!

As an entrepreneur and business owner you have to embrace the learning process and continuously learn (by doing). Learn your market, learn your business, and continuously adapt your learnings to suit your market as you go. The entrepreneurs who embrace the learning process and respond to unexpected events in real time are often the ones who do very well.

Without babbling on for too long, the moral of the story is that not knowing what to do is not a good enough reason to not start your business. Passion and a basic idea is enough. Even if you are physically incapable of carrying out certain tasks, outsourcing skills is a thing (like helluurrr, this is why people like me are here). It is no mistake that one of the single most important traits that investors look for in entrepreneurs is passion, especially in the very early stages of a start-up. Not “intelligence.” Not qualifications. Passion (synonymous with commitment/dedication in this regard). A founder who is not passionate about what they are doing will give up when they face the inevitable hurdles of starting a business. Passion is the fuel by which a project goes from start-up to a fully-fledged business.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you can go and start the next big business with the technical skills of a toddler. I am merely saying that, within reason, you can start a business without the technical know-how, as long as you have the dedication to follow through with the necessary steps. In doing so, be realistic, tread carefully and always consult a professional when you’re thinking about making an expensive decision.

If whilst reading this article you had a certain project or idea in mind, maybe it’s time to pursue it with everything you have. Why aren’t you? That was not a rhetorical question. Like Richard Branson famously said, “screw it. Just get on and do it.” If you are really struggling with how to conceptualise or begin your business, consult me and we can find a solution together. 

Once again, thank you for reading.

Tweet me @sazi08

Queen Sugar (2016 – ∞ )

We want to win for all those who lost. For all the people who came before us who struggled and strained so we could be here right now making this decision, making it better. It’s our turn to try. They risked for us, why can’t we do the same?

Hello everyone! ♥

“Should I change my major?” is a question I asked myself not too long ago and I truly struggled with it. For me, as a german university student, this question was tough, because the system here is different from the one in the US.
Since I know how tough the decision can be, I wanted to help all of you struggleing studyblrs out, so I hope, this masterpost will help you.

Should I change my major?

First of all: Think about why.

Why do you want to change your major? I feel like there are three big aspects on which your thoughts rely; your grades, your major in general and yourself.

  1. Your grades. - Why do you have bad grades? You don’t get the subject? Is it too hard? Maybe you didn’t study enough? Is uni in general too hard and are you more of a practical type of person? Is the workload too high in your major?
  2. Your major. - You don’t get the classes you need? Is your university unorganized? (And yes, that can be the case!) Are you not organized enough? Can’t you work in the field you want to work in with that degree? Will you be able to pay your bills?
  3. You. - Is your major less fun than you thought it would be? Did you expect to learn something completely different? Are the teachers all bad and you can’t teach you the subject yourself?

Noone can answer these questions for you. You have to think about them and be honest to yourself. Take your time, because the better you know what exactly makes you want to jump out of the 5th floor instead of staying any longer in the classroom (been there), the better you will be able to make a decision.

But now comes the really important question:

Are you just uncomfortable or are you in pain?

No, not necessarily literal pain, but there’s a huge difference between wanting to jump out of a window or rather wanting to chill at home right now. Ask yourself: have you been lazy or did you really have a huge questionmark over your head when you read the same page of that textbook the 4th time around? Do you just need a planner or do you email your professors begging for a spot in that class but there just aren’t any free spots anymore? Are you having a bad time at the moment or does the thought of going to that class tomorrow make you want to vomit? Behind this degree, is there your dream job waiting for you or are you unsure if this is really what you want to do?

Again, only you and yourself can answer these questions. Be honest about it.

Whatever you decide to do, please keep in mind, that you’re making a very important decision. Definetely take your time with it and talk to someone about your idea. Maybe even talk to a counselor (that’s what I did and they really helped me).
When you made the decision to change your major, know that not everyone is going to support you. My parents weren’t too happy about it at first, but friends can be disappointed, as well. Please keep in mind that this is your decision, not theirs. Despite everything, changing your major can be a huge opportunity to learn something new and find happiness and also a big relief.

If you have any further questions or want me to write about my very personal experience, my ask box is always open.

This is why I’m at peace with Episode 12 

Part 1 of 2 - Katsuki Yuuri’s journey

I have a friend who was somewhat disappointed with the ending of Season 1 of YOI, so I’ve written a full analysis on Yuuri and Victor’s motivations and goals.

It’s lengthy, but I hope it does help some of you feel more satisfied with what happened in Episode 12. Yuuri and Victor will have separate posts.

Click here to read Part 1 - Yuuri’s analysis.
Click here to read Part 2 - Victor’s analysis.

(And I am really sorry about the length of this, guys. There is a KEEP READING cut beneath this paragraph, but I know sometimes phone apps ignore them. I apologize in advance that tumblr doesn’t always recognize its own coding.)

Keep reading

The Masks We Wear (8/?)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7


Thanks, as always to @coffeewithcaptainswan​ for beta’ing - and in record time. She’s the real superhero here, folks!

Sorry for making you all wait forever for this. Real life is hard.

Also, in case you couldn’t guess from the last chapter there’s some whump and anxiety attacks ahead - so proceed with caution if that upsets you.

Previously on The Masks We Wear…

Emma Swan AKA The Saviour and Killian Jones AKA Hook AKA The Survivor are in love. They just don’t know it yet. Killian has rejected Emma as both her superhero ally and her best friend leaving her lost and confused. But she won’t have long to dwell on that. Regina has been unknowingly under The Dark One’s control and she has just led The Survivor into a trap …

“Emma wondered if somehow she had actually pricked him with her magic, so extreme was his reaction. But then it sunk in: he just didn’t want her.”

“First he had to defeat The Dark One, then he could find a way to fix his broken heart.”

“You and I are going to have so much fun. Well, I will at least.”

Killian was startled from sleep by soft lips against his own. After Gods knows how long of being experimented on by Gold, he was constantly on edge. Even this sweet gesture felt like a wicked game. His eyes flew open and he looked up into the eyes of The Saviour.

He gasped in shock, overcome by the emotion of the moment. She waved a hand to release the bonds pinning him to the table and pulled him into a tight hug. “You saved me.” He managed to choke out.

She pulled back to look straight at him. “Aye, that’s why they call me The Saviour.” She grinned.

“And you’re bloody marvellous.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently, overjoyed that she accepted his lips happily after the last time he tried to kiss her. “Might I - might I take off your mask, love? You’re getting to see my devilishly handsome face properly for the first time, shouldn’t I get to do the same with you?”

Keep reading

Take A Hint

Lin Manuel Miranda x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, tiny suicide mention

Authors Note: im really sorry, check my future posts for a sorry explanation as to why I’m such a dick lmfao

You pressed your ear to the door, straining to hear the soft voices from inside. Everyone from the cast had seemingly disappeared all at once, and you found yourself wandering the halls till you saw an unfortunately tall Daveed Diggs slipping away into Lin’s dressing room.
“Can’t seem to figure it out…”
The voice quieted, and then they were all speaking at once, making it insanely difficult for you to keep up.
“Maybe if we…”
“No we’ve tried that…”
“It’s a possibility…”
You could identify the angelic voice of Pippa as she called order to the disorganized meeting, and she hushed everyone suddenly.
You heard footsteps approaching the door, and you quickly jumped back and sprinted around the corner.
Pippa’s head poked out from behind the slightly ajar door, and she looked from side to side, searching for eavesdroppers.
Finding none, she shut the door with a definite click, and the voices resumed talking.
You tiptoed back to your dressing room, and picked up your phone, debating on calling someone and asking where they all were.
Deciding against calling, you clicked on Lin’s contact and began typing.
“Oh my god. Guys Y/N texted me!”
Talk stopped, and immediately everyone was crowding around the phone, screaming to know what she said.
Pippa shouted over the mess of people to quiet for a moment, and looked out the peephole once more to check if Y/N was lurking.
“We’re good. Go on Lin!”
Lin opened the message.
“Hey b! Where’s everyone at? I’m lonely :(”
There was a beat of silence, and then the loudness resumed.
“You’ve got to go to her dressing room.”
“Are you crazy? That’d be suicide!”
“Well, are you just going to let her sit around and find a new guy?”
Lin ran his fingers through his hair, and called for order.
“You guys, I’ve been thinking. As much as I really hope that this isn’t true, what if she isn’t into me? I mean, I gotta respect her decision and not be a dick about it and keep flirting with her.”
Everyone turned their eyes toward Jasmine, who was Y/N’s best friend.
“I mean, it’s not very likely.”
She chewed on a fingernail, nervous as she spoke quickly. She felt immensely guilty for betraying her best friend like this, but it was for the good of Lin and you both.
“She talks about you all the time, and she’ll sometimes be smiling down at her phone and when I ask her what she’s looking at she’ll say nothing, but when she gets up and leaves her phone with me I’ll see she was looking at your Twitter. I think she likes you, but doesn’t think you like her back.”
Everyone groaned, as it seemed they were back to square 1.
“Can she not take a hint? God, of all the things that I did I thought she’d at least have some wisp of knowledge by now!”
Oak gestured towards Lin’s phone, the messages app still open.
“Are you going to leave her on read?”
Lin’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull.
You set your phone down, exhaling slowly and tapping your foot.
It had been exactly 12 minutes since you’d sent Lin a text, and he saw it 10 minutes ago, but hadn’t replied.
You paced around your dressing room, hands clasped behind your back as you crossed the room back and forth.
You were just turning on your heel when your door opened, causing you to jump back quickly to avoid the tops of your toes to be scratched.
A slightly disheveled Lin stood at the door, about a dozen of your cast mates standing ground behind him.
“Hi, Y/N.”
You smiled, and backed away from the door, inviting everyone in.
To your surprise, everyone but Lin walked out of the doorway, and shut the door behind them, leaving you to smile awkwardly at Lin before speaking.
“To what do I owe the honor, Mr. Miranda?”
You joked as he smiled.
He swallowed and looked more nervous than you had ever seen him.
“Are you okay, Lin? Here sit.”
You scooted over in your chair and gestured for him to sit next to you.
His leg pressed into your thigh, and you felt your face warming up at the sudden closeness of you two.
“I just need to say something right now, and it’ll be ten times easier to say if you don’t make any decisions till I’m done, so here we go.”
He spoke so quickly that you struggled to keep up with his words.
“I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/N. Longer than you probably know. If you even know. But no matter. You were just this sweet, amazingly funny and beautiful girl and I couldn’t keep my eyes off you since Day 1. I’ve tried so many times to express my affections towards you,”
He cringed, and laughed afterwards.
“I sound like I’m quoting a Thomas Jefferson letter. The point is, I need to know if you’ve taken the hint or if I need another gesture to make it known.”
You were at a loss for words, so you did what anyone who had a mouth but no words would do.
You kissed him.
His initial reaction was surprised, but soon he entangled his hands in your hair and pulled you closer.
You pulled away only when you heard cheers from the door, and groaned and hid your face as your fellow actors and actresses clapped and whooped.
Lin smiled down at you, making you blush and wrap your arms around him.
“I’m glad you took a hint.”

despariablr  asked:

Long time tabletop fan. But those episodes only include 4 players. I am struggling to entertain family at large social events. Other than werewolf do you know any games that support 8-12 people?

With that many people, you’re pretty much limited to party games or deduction games with a traitor mechanic. In that category, the games that immediately come to mind are:

  • Secret Hitler 
  • Bang! 
  • Codenames 
  • Cards Against Humanity
  • We Did Not Playtest This At All

In my experience, however, there just aren’t that many games that are still fun to play with that many people, so we’ve made this decision in my group to divide up into smaller groups of 4 or so when we get a giant group together, and sort of move around from table to table, so more people can play together.

A BIG Announcement - Please read this:

I want to preface this by saying that this is probably the hardest post I’ll ever write here:

First I want to remind you that the final part of the Guest series will be posted today at 12pm PST.

The big announcement is that, after it’s up, it’s time for me to go.

This is a decision that I’ve been struggling with for a long time; leaving feels like a bit of a last resort, but it’s becoming more and more clear to me that this is what I need to do. Taking a few days away or a week or a few weeks simply isn’t enough anymore; it’s just a temporary fix for a much bigger problem.

As a writer, I do everything I can to connect to my characters. I spend a lot of time immersing myself in the story so I can get the details just right. Because of this, I have found myself becoming very attached to the “character” of Harry that I create in my writing. Unfortunately, Harry is not a fictional character. I can’t control what he does in his real life and it’s hard to process when he “goes off script”.

Books and movies and TV shows all eventually come to an end; the characters within that don’t go on forever, except in your imagination, so you kind of have creative control once that particular story ends. This isn’t how it works when you write fanfiction about real people. Harry has a life and he’s going to do whatever he wants with it. At no point do I have creative control over him nor can I decide what he does with his future. As a writer, that makes it harder for me and, as a human being who gets attached to characters (and people), it causes a lot of stress and jealousy and sadness when my “character” does something I either don’t necessarily agree with or ends up with someone else in the end of the “story”.

It has gotten to a point where I dread opening Tumblr every morning, because I’m afraid of what might have happened over night. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to separate myself from this situation as best I can, and enjoy Harry simply as a fan. I am still very excited to hear the album, see the movie, and follow his career because I do really like him as an artist and performer and as a human being. But I can’t continue to know what he is doing with his life every single second of every day and pick apart and speculate about song meanings and all of that. I don’t want to know about his personal life, anymore than I do about other celebrities and artists I enjoy. I want to ultimately get to a point where, years down the road I’m sitting there enjoying his 5th solo album and hear that he’s expecting his 3rd child, only to react with, “Oh, I didn’t even know he had gotten married”, and then go on with my day as if nothing was different.

So, with that said, I have to regretfully say that I am leaving Tumblr. I’m not going to delete this blog, so you will still be able to read all of my stuff, but I won’t be logging on to interact or post or anything like that. It’s a very difficult decision because I’ve really enjoyed my time here and getting to talk to so many amazing people, but - as hard as it is - I know I don’t belong here anymore. When I first started writing, Harry sightings were scarce; I don’t think I anticipated what it would be like to see him every single day doing something new, and it’s just too much for me.

I love you guys so, so much! If anyone is desperate to keep in contact, I am willing to add a few select people to my Facebook (that I don’t use that much, but I am on it), as well as Instagram (that I also don’t use much, lol). But I hope you can understand why I need to do this and aren’t too upset over it. Like I said, I’ll leave this blog open and keep all the writing up; I just ask that you don’t repost my stuff anywhere else.

I will probably pop in on Monday to check messages and answer any questions, but then I’ll be saying goodbye. Please spread the word if you can; I don’t want anyone to be blindsided by this. I know it’s not the best time with the album coming out, but I feel like this is the right time for me to bow out.

I hope you enjoy the final part of Guest, and thank you all so much for all you’ve done for me.

Attack On Titan Chapter 90 Thoughts

Well, that’s it, you guys! The story’s done - the basement is reached and the ocean is seen; though there is still unease among the people, that will be the struggle humanity has left to face: making their world the “real” paradise with true peace - after all humanity will only stop fighting once it is down to one.

Erwin’s struggles weren’t for nothing. The sacrifices made during these 100 years weren’t for nothing.

All is well.

It was nice sharing this experience with you guys!

Wait, wait, wait.. you’re telling me the ending doesn’t say it’s the final chapter?  That there’s still story left?


Okay, we all know everything is going to hell in the upcoming chapters. I think the notes on my post with that small remark is proof by itself that everyone (or at least a big portion of people) has made that assumption.

This is a huge victory for the Survey Corps, but it’s delibrately deceptive. The people’s uncertainty, Eren’s uncertainty and Floche’s inconsiderate, but understandable guilt-tripping serve to show that this pacing choice was delibrate and the timeskip, but more importantly the decision of removing the Titan threat, was chosen to be made here for a reason.

The struggle with the mindless Titans is not what is important. The story is not really about the basement, the sea or the Titans. It’s about what they represent. It’s about a human heart struggling for freedom. It’s about the value of human life. It’s about the value of being yourself.  

So, Isayama chooses to neglect the plot for character and themes once more. By all means, the decision to kill all the mindless Titans in a few pages isn’t, uh, “logical” (for lack of better phrasing on my part currently) when it comes to storytelling, but the Scouting Legion reaching the ocean sure is emotionally satisfying. Rather than focusing on the plot, the story focuses on making you feel and well, I won’t lie, Armin tearing up while standing in the waves he has longed to see since being a child was a wonderful moment. It’s going to be great once animated.

In this little moment the story tells us that no matter how cruel the world is, all the struggles will be worth it and rewarded. That no matter how cruel the world is, it is also very beautiful.

This also means that the satisfaction with the story from this point on probably depends on your emotional attachement to the story. I love these characters and I love these themes. From this point on, *I* think at least, how good the story ends up being depends on the execution of character arcs and themes because that’s what makes us feel the most. Attack On Titan is through and through a story about feelings - even on the meta level.

I’m excited: this is Isayama’s first long story and it already has really great emotional strength behind it. Despite some clumsy plotting here and there, he has some great moments in terms of planning, too. What could he do with his upcoming stories now that he knows the process of creating a manga already and he already has a story this good?

The removal of the Titans means that Ymir and Annie have much bigger chances of appearance now. Annie has a much better chance of escaping when she manages to escape her crystal.

Ymir has a much better chance of being on the run because she could make it back to the island without much trouble now.

Going back a little bit, Historia’s decision goes along with the themes so far - deny the First King’s control and although the future will be uncertain, earn the victory against Titans (and “the enemy”) with honesty. Historia continues to be a boss, basically.

Moving on…

This basically sums up what the problem with Floch’s call-out speech is. He’s tactless and more importantly, straight-up just guilt-trips. The better translation makes Floch’s speech much more understandable rather than just immature. You can understand the flaws in his behaviour, but you can also understand where he is coming from. He saw many people die for humanity in that charge, but then these people go on to make completely irrational decisions for their personal reasons. He blames Jean, Sasha and Connie for not stepping up, but Sasha was straight-up unconscious during it all. He, too, is very irrational himself although he’s criticizing others for being like that. I like that a lot. 

I actually do look forward to him having a small character arc like growing to be a more understanding and a more mature person. He, too, experienced loss, and he’s showing it in his own way.

I think one of the notable elements to bring up here is Mikasa’s reaction. She’s been wavering between doing her duty and caring for her family for a while now and the moment on the roof is what brought this up. In the end she accepted losing Armin.

Floch puts the idea in the worst way imagineable: she just stopped fighting. But the basic idea of Mikasa’s character arc is not that she should stop fighting, but that sometimes feelings have to be put aside - not that she should stop caring or stop fighting for those she loves, but find the strength to move forward despite that.

All you need is love~

The Eldians and Marleyans just gotta have a huge hugging spree.

On a more serious note, this once again brings up the idea of the cycle of violence repeating itself. The fun part is that the reason Zeke wants the Eldians wiped out is because he thinks they are prideful and want to rebuild their kingdom responsible for oppression, so his idea of ending “this cursed history” is simply killing everyone.

Eren asks a question about this in a more thoughtful and contemplative manner.

Maybe Eren hasn’t quite let go of his stiff moral code, but he definitely has grown in that direction. He doesn’t scream and flail about “killing them all” anymore, but his statement is drained and his faith in his dream wavering because, perhaps, they’ll all just be eaten by dogs by the end of it all. He tries to comfort and see the good in everything by saying that they don’t really know, but secretly his dream of freedom is wavering.

There are two extremes the search for freedom could lead to: either the Eldians repeat history or are killed by the enemy.

All that also means that the solution likely lies in Zeke’s (and probably Eren’s) character development. The lack of Titans also means that it could come down to the “humanity is it’s own enemy” thematic element, which is one of my favorites and one of the best executed ones in the story.

I’m also happy that this chapter confirms that Grisha probably honestly really did have a change of heart because his request is about protecting Eren, Mikasa, Carla and the people inside the walls.

This chapter was really emotionally satisfying to me above all else. Them reaching the ocean is one of my favorite moments in the series now. I don’t have a problem with the grieving being skipped (I get the feeling we might see it in a flashback during an important moment) and I’m more here for the characters and themes rather than just the plot stuff. While it probably isn’t perfect writing, it feels natural in terms of structure to me. It feels like it happened with reason and logic.

So yeah, I actually liked it a bunch.

Emotional and thematic impact matters to me the most and this chapter delivered in my eyes.

sailor-sutcliff  asked:

THIS IS DUMB BUT LIKE how would the RFA+V+Saeran react to MC having really curly, wild, and big hair? (I only see MCs with either the normal long straight hair or neat wavy hair so bleh ignore this if it's too boring lol)

Hello darling! Your request is not dumb at all!

Having that kind of hair myself, I know the struggle very well ç__ç

okay, my hair is actually quite short, BUT STILL

Anyway, hope you enjoy!


  • well, MC does not look like Rika after all
  • he’s kinda… relieved?
  • he’s also in awe, because he’s pretty sure he never saw anyone with hair as curly or as big as MC’s
  • and to think that is just their natural state… wow
  • he’s impressed
  • he expecially the way MC looks like when she wakes up
  • he finds it cuuute
  • i have no idea how he could find it cute, but anyway


  • just tell him h o w
  • “MC what kind of product do you use?”
  • “what do you mean ‘nothing’? That’s impossible!”
  • “MC, be honest”
  • it takes him a while to realize that MC hair looks like that because it is like that
  • he doesn’t know whether to be disappointed or amazed
  • he goes with amazed
  • it seemed impossible, but he did find someone whose hair is better than his


  • he’s not used to it
  • i mean, elizabeth the 3rd’s fur is soooo short and soft
  • it does not look like MC hair, not even a little
  • he has to admit, though, that MC hair is actually softer than he thought
  • conditioner is the most amazing thing humans have ever invented, fight me on that
  • he makes sure that MC has access to all the best hair products known to men
  • he also insist that MC has a professional hairdresser taking care of her hair regularly
  • he just enjoys spoiling her - and her hair


  • it reminds her why her hair is so short
  • i mean, her hair is actually pretty straight
  • she’s not lol
  • but seeing MC struggling with her hair makes her feel happy of her decision of cutting it
  • sometimes tho, she’s kinda jealous
  • she wonders if MC’s hair would look good on her
  • and that’s when she decides to let her hair grow


  • “MC you look like a pissed off lion”
  • i’m sorry, i’m so used to my mum telling me the same thing i just had to put it somewhere
  • he has to joke about it, bc he’s an idiot
  • a funny idiot, though
  • he spends most of his time stroking MC’s hair
  • it helps him relax, expecially after a long day of work
  • it’s literally his favourite hobby


  • well, not to be rude, but it’s not as if he can see it
  • bc he’s blind
  • instead, he tries to touch it as often as possible
  • he loves running his fingers through it whenever he has the chance
  • he also loves its smell
  • it’s something floreal, something that MC seems to love
  • and ofc he loves it too


  • “MC, can I touch your hair?”
  • he’s totally in love with it
  • he wants to touch her curls all the time
  • he’s like a child in front of a candy shop
  • sometimes his fingers get stuck in MC’s hair and he’s just like “oh, fuck”
  • because he knows he will hurt MC if he tries to pull them out
  • and he doesn’t want to hurt her
  • so he just stays there, with his hand in her hair, while MC tries to separate her hair from his fingers

Let’s all pretend MC’s hair is not fuzzy at all ^^

Feedback is always appreciated!

Thinking back to the time before Praimfaya, and the sheer chaos of survival, Bellamy realized why it took him so long to get to the point he was at now.

Sex had always been an escape for him- something to delve into until it felt good enough to find sleep for the next day. 

On the Ark, he did it because he could. He did it because why the hell not? On Earth, when they were at war with the Grounders and Mount Weather… it was a different kind of need. 

There was a possessiveness to every act of intimacy; a need to dig into something- someone- and conquer a task with a positive result. So much of that time were failed attempts at heroism, and he just needed to win something. 

Miller had asked him once- and out of all the gunfire and death it still amazes Bellamy, that conversations like this still ring clear in his memory- if he had ever gotten with Clarke.

It dumbfounded Bellamy at the time- to be honest, it pissed him right off- but how was the man he was then supposed to know how to interpret something more mature than he was capable of interpreting? 

Today, Bellamy is warm in his bed. The day leading up to this moment had been a struggle if the gash on his leg was any indication. If the second post-apocalyptic experience had been hell, then this was a close second of a nightmare. 

The experience of it has been completely different: there were no warring clans or acid fog. Instead, there was stark and wild nothingness. All they had was what they could come up with. 

Three months back there had been some tech, but after a particularly bad lightning storm and a severe lack of surge protection, not even Raven could salvage the ruin: it was truly the dawn of civilization.

But in his bed, right this moment, Bellamy could wrap his arm tighter around Clarke and breathe. 

In all their time together- had it really been almost fifteen years since they first made this planet their home- Clarke and Bellamy have had sex all of three times. 

The first time, he had stared at her sleeping soundly next to him, utterly bewildered by why it had taken him so long to allow himself that sort of intimacy. She was his everything in the most pragmatic way he could admit to himself. 

While sex had been his escape for so long, it dawned on him that no matter what the struggle had been, being with Clarke had never needed an escape: she was the calming factor and voice of reason in his life since before he even liked her. 

Their relationship- while deeply monogamous- was never about the physical: they didn’t tell each other ‘I love you,’ or any other cutesy nonsense. Being with Clarke was not a conscious decision, but something more innate. 

Bellamy existed, and so did Clarke, as close together as two beings could without being one. 

“Go to sleep,” Clarke mumbled into the pillow, “I can hear you thinking.”

A small laugh escaped his lips, as he pressed a kiss to her temple. “Sorry, it was a crazy day.”

Shifting to wrap her arm around his torso, she cracked an eye open at him.

“Tomorrow is going to be even more crazy if you’re half asleep trying to build an aquifer. My clinic is already full of people with that cough that’s going around. I don’t your sleep exhaustion adding one more.”

“You’re right,” he settled deeper into the mattress, “I’ll slee-”


“Are you kidding me,” Clarke groaned under her breathe before responding louder to the knock, “Is it an emergency?”

From the other side of the door, “Lara’s fever spiked and nothing we have done is bringing it down.”

In seconds Clarke was sitting upright and pulling her hair into the ponytail she’d taken to wearing. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Turning quickly to smile at Bellamy, she pressed her hand over his heart. “Sleep,” she ordered, “I’ll be back… whenever.”

“I’ll hunt you down otherwise,” he called as she left the room.

Her smile in mind, Bellamy let himself sleep.

vanzell-nw  asked:

How do all the functions work as inferior functions?

Ni: Why do I always go back to that idea for the future? Why am I pulled toward an ideal, or a feeling of certainty toward the future? Whenever I feel like my life is out of control, I like to fixate on that one vision of what I want. I am optimistic about the future. I feel it is going to turn out all right. Sometimes, I figure out something out of nowhere… but it’s not often. I kind of hate introspecting, though … it seems a dangerous enterprise. I like things that are symbolic or archetypal… and I come up with some crackpot theories at times. I tend to be a little superstitious.

Ne: I don’t like discussing things that have nothing to do with reality. I want to know that the conversation is going to accomplish something before I engage in it or I become frustrated. Sometimes, I get a sense of what is going on between other people and am later proven right, but I’m not always sure at the time that what I am picking up on is the truth. It can be difficult for me to make decisions that will impact my future, because I’m not sure what that future looks like … any of sixteen things might happen. I shy away from long-term commitments unless I feel absolutely safe; otherwise, I’m inclined to worry about what might happen. I can be impulsive once in awhile and others at times comment on how naive some of my belief systems are.

Si: I can never find anything, and constantly forget the details of whatever I am working on, so my tax information is always late and in a muddle. I want to be well prepared at work but get bored with doing the research involved. I both hate the idea of traditions and family gatherings and feel like I should value them and participate in them. I’m a bit romantic and nostalgic about the past, and have a sneaking suspicion that I’d like a normal life at some point. I’m good at remembering details, but often it happens long after the incident. I don’t always remember things the way they were. My worry about forgetting things can make me anal about gathering information. I tend to over-prepare.

Se: I want to anchor my ideas in reality but … reality is overwhelming. I get sensory overload. Life is too loud, bright, and moves too fast. It feels like I am either totally detached from them or over-indulging in them. I really want to see my visions become real, but I’m not sure how to make that happen. I want to look my best. Exercising is a nice way to get rid of my stress, but sometimes I feel like I place too much emphasis on my appearance. I wish I wasn’t so impulsive… I blew my entire paycheck on a whim last week.

Ti: I really do want to objectively understand other people, but discussing them as if I do not care about them makes me feel uneasy and cold. I hate using impersonal logic or leverage against others. I want to ensure that I do things “right,” so I can be picky and fret if I make a mistake. I am learning to step back from other people and situations and analyze them freely, without that making me feel like a traitor. I am fairly good at seeing multiple perspectives on the issue at hand. I don’t like being challenged because I can’t always explain my reasoning; so I get defensive. I fear that I will never get it right, or be accurate.

Te: I want to be organized and efficient, but I’m totally disorganized. I hate schedules and trying to keep to them wears me out. I know that things are not working in my life, but I don’t know how to fix it and am angry at myself for being so disorganized. I’m learning to be more time-efficient, though, and I do like it when my DVD collection is alphabetical. I used to think less about the realistic consequences of my actions than I do now. I like to stick to the facts and can prove most of my arguments with evidence, but when others challenge my position I become defensive and irritated. Sometimes, I become abrasive and insensitive toward others in pushing my agenda.

Fi: I don’t think about my emotions much; mostly, I ignore them. My beliefs are somewhat simplistic and I’m not inclined to deviate from them. It’s hard for me not to think that others should share and live by my values. I want to do something worthwhile with my life, so I work hard to accomplish things in the real world. I am very loyal to the causes I believe in, but I struggle to be loyal and have no respect for lazy or inefficient people. I’m learning to be more tolerant, though, and not be uncomfortable with other people’s emotional decisions. Sometimes, I’m okay with admitting to my faults… but other times, I’m more inclined to cry or have a tantrum… I just hope no one is there to see it.

Fe: I’d like to be able to comfort people, but I’m terrible at it. I wish I didn’t feel so responsible for other people’s feelings and needs. I long for others’ approval and to be accepted, but I can’t quite manage the social niceties, so often I just shut it off and can be insensitive. I get annoyed if people hit me with their feelings or act irrationally, and sometimes I get angry at them for it. I usually try to blend in socially, but I soon tire of it. I don’t always know how to talk about my feelings and am uncomfortable offering too much praise to others. Sometimes, I feel like no one likes me.


Queen of holding flags upside down 💖💜💙

Two years ago today I finally admitted to myself and to my best friend (and eventually others down the line), something I had been struggling with internally for so long. But finding the courage, the strength and the pride to come out was one of the best decisions I ever made. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come in two years. I know everyone’s path in life is different. Some people choose not to label their sexuality, some believe labeling helps them find a sense of community; some people have known from the time they were in pre-school that they weren’t straight or cisgender or whatever society sees as “normal”, and some realize it much later in life.

We all come together this month to celebrate pride because through all walks of life, through every story unfolded, through every person in history who has paved the way for us, through every life that has been taken due to homophobia, we know that each day we take steps toward equal love for all. Together we stand. 🏳️‍🌈

'American Gods': Gillian Anderson Talks Judy Garland, 'Hannibal' Reunion
It didn’t take much convincing for Gillian Anderson to take on one of the niftiest roles in Starz’s American Gods. Just a phone call from Bryan Fuller, really. “His pitch to me was probably a descr…

On how Bryan Fuller pitched the role of Media: “ “His pitch to me was probably a description of the opportunity of getting to embody some pretty extraordinary characters, and whether I was up for that challenge,” Anderson tells EW of reuniting with the Hannibal creator. “And that’s probably all I really needed to know. Even though I hadn’t read the book, I’m a fan of Neil Gaiman’s work, so ultimately it was those two things… no matter what it looked like on the page, it was going to be something that I wanted to be involved in.”

On channeling Judy Garland: “It was a curious process into Judy because there’s something very specific about her and an aspect of her personality that is kind of uncopy-able,” says Anderson. “And for a long time that I was working on her, I was struggling with that, working in my own space, trying to figure out what it was that was quintessentially her. I came to the conclusion that, actually, I might be barking up the wrong tree. [Laughs] Whereas with other characters, there were things I could hook onto that felt like [I] was tapping into an essence of some kind, I found Judy actually the most elusive or the most challenging to bring an element of her to the picture. So I had to ultimately make different decisions about how to represent her.”

On Hannibal dialogue tongue-twisters: “I found out at one point that Bryan, in Hannibal, would deliberately write paragraphs for me that were run-on, undulating, impossible sentences, all because he got a kick out of watching me figure out how to make sense of them,” Anderson recalls with a laugh. “And oh my God, the stress over some of those. Like, what is she saying? Why is she saying it like this? This is meant to come out of my mouth!? Oh my God. [Laughs] But we’ve become great friends, and I’m always fascinated by his thought process on anything. He has such an extraordinary mind and brings so many elements of life and reality into the fantasy. You still have a connection to it, and there’s still relevance…even though you’re seemingly on another plane of existence.”

Keith & choices

/ okay im gonna flesh this out sometime perhaps but I’m sat here kind of screaming!!! so. 

 we’ve seen that Keith will and does choose Voltron time and time again. In s1 he always sees the bigger picture and understands that there are bigger things than you own personal emotions. BoM and the knife challenges everything Keith thinks he stands he for. I don’t think Keith’s biggest fear is actually being alone or abandoned- that’s definitely a BIG part of something he fears he definitely DOES fear this and abandonment. 

But I think BoM proved that Keith fears are so deeply rooted in making the wrong choice between the greater good and his own personal feelings

For the entire trial he is putting himself first (and that’s not exactly selfish I mean - this is something deeply important to him and he is compelled to know.) but his projections and mind clearly keep showing this juxtaposition between Keith keeping the knife and finding out his past or leaving it behind and staying with team Voltron - forgetting about it. Walk away from the knife and everything he DESPERATELY wants to know, or walk away from the team and the UNIVERSE. 

And you can see that this choice is tearing him apart literally. 

Because in s1 we him many many times showing the ability to make tough calls and put his own feelings aside for the team. it will be on his hands if he’s not there to pilot red and form Voltron with the others. Keith can think objectively and rationally - like with not going after Allura. 

Then look at that moment in s1 with Pidge wanting to leave to find her family, telling her “EVERYONE in the universe has families” and by leaving to find hers she putting EVERYONE in danger and Voltron won’t be able to save people and we see HOW UPSET and angry he is about that. 


so his mind is really hammering this in: does he really believe in the greater good, can he truly follow it to the end or is he going to keep chasing this past? can he do both? should he do both? what kind of paladin is he if he’s doing this?

I think the scene in the shack is really important for this too because he sees the galra attacking and immediately he’s like “I have to go people need me red’s up there waiting people need me” and then his dad in his HEAD (important - these are all Keith’s perceptions of people and events which are SHAPED by how he sees HIMSELF rn) is like “but what about who you are don’t you want to know" 

 and Keith pauses because holy shit of course he wants to know he’s been grappling with this for so long. but he still is going to the door he can hear things being destroyed and people dying and worlds burning like he says himself he CAN’T just hang around and stand here when that’s going on and he can do something about it. 

 and then THEN Keith is given a choice. ”If you walk through that door you’ll never know who you really are“. And it’s after a moment that Keith makes the choice to leave here. 

There’s so much more to talk about here but im focusing on choices and I just…. have been thinking for so long about Keith having a difficult decision to make further down the line. i’ve bene thinking about this since s1 and s2 has kind of made it feel even more like a possibility. 

Because he did something for himself here, you can see in his mind how much he’s struggling with that decision ”you’re just thinking of yourself as usual" / “you’ve chosen to be ALONE.” - 

the whole of s2 so far Keith has been trying to suppress his own feelings (but he’s such an explosive chaotic mess my god this poor boy he is so turbulent and unstable) and keep what’s going on to himself keep it together for the team - but he’s always so concerned that he’s putting everyone in danger because of his own actions and the knife which ISN’T for anyone but himself. 

 This is Heavy Stuff. 

 Keith shows how much he would give time and time again to team Voltron, to the CAUSE and the greater good. But. But. We ….. also know there is something else that gives Keith virtually complete tunnel-vision i would go as far to say because well i mean there is plenty of evidence for this. So, there is something - more accurately someone - Keith looks out for time and time again, someone Keith would do whatever it takes to keep safe and vows to their face “nothing is going to happen to you” he’s so determined to make sure that’s the case. 


And I just am….. okay I’m writing about this more sometime but Keith could be so easily manipulated by an enemy through using shiro even in his own mind in BoM. the things Keith has done for shiro and will do are aligned with what he would do for Voltron and the greater good. But if there’s a bigger choice that has every capability of really testing keith further and tearing him apart completely, being the hardest thing he’s probably ever had to do: 

It is placing these two things against each other.  Team Voltron, the UNIVERSE or Shiro.

One person (which Keith has expressed on a handful of occasions cannot be placed above the universe or the mission you have to set it aside and move forwards get on with the task and you can’t comprise the bigger picture for yourself) set against the entire universe. 

TLDR: Keith does fear being abandoned and being alone. A big insecurity is how people see him and read his actions (but he’ll still do whatever it takes and say what needs to be said even if it means people thinking the worst of him and that insecurity being met - that’s cold even for you.) 

But Keith also fears not being able to do the greater good and being selfish. Keith fears making choices for his own reasons, making a wrong choice.

loving someone with a mental illness is not easy. it’s hard. it’s really fucking hard. there are going to be days that I’m so sad that I won’t get out of bed, and I’ll be crying so hard for so long that I won’t be able to speak. at times I’ll be so anxious that I can’t eat, be around anyone, or make even the smallest and simplest decisions. it’s always a struggle to get myself to eat, and a bigger struggle to keep it down every time. it takes a lot for me to believe that people actually like me and they aren’t just being polite. i’m always going to assume that everyone is mad at me, and ask a million times to make sure they’re not. these are things that have controlled my life for so long. they are things that will never fully go away. but I deserve someone that’s going to stand behind me while I do the hardest thing I’ve ever done; fight it. breaking up with someone to give them time to “work on themself” is the same as saying that they’ll take you back when it isn’t hard anymore, when you’re no longer broken. it’s the same as breaking up with someone because they have a mental illness. and you don’t do that. no matter how hard it gets, you stay. at least that’s what I would do.
—  this shit fucking hurts (via @sophsmagotes
for the sake of sparkles

words: 3.3k
summary: Of all things Allura expected to happen today, getting stranded in the pod bay of a space mall with Keith was definitely not on the list. Neither was breaking into the mall with him and Pidge to steal a necklace. 

But hey, things can change real quickly when you’re bored as hell.

a/n: I probably shouldn’t be posting a story close to midnight on a Thursday night, but here I am, lol. This is my first story for this pairing, and as you will see, it’s not actually romantic at all! It’s more of a gen fic featuring Pidge the Magnificent, but there are sparks— because I like these two a lot. 

What really intrigues me about the dynamic between Keith and Allura are the impulses they bring out in each other, and when I saw the prompt “Stranded” for Day 1 of @kalluraweek, I’m not entirely sure why, but this is where my mind went! It’s silly and fun and I hope you enjoy— and I’d love to see your comments at the end. Thanks for reading!


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brownnx  asked:

I think it's Lezhin's fault it got delayed again. I mean, the first time, KS got delayed of two weeks was because of translations, not because Koogi was struggling with the comic. And now another week, surely because they're too tight on the timing. It's not the first time that Lezhin shows that they're struggling with the translations. So I'm not pissed off at Koogi: I'm pissed off at Lezhin at how they are so desorganized.

Lol you might be right. I feel like several of the people from this fandom have at least one of these reactions to the delay: 

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง @ Lezhin for having the decision to bring the simultaneous releases at the last minute and continually delaying the comics for some reason

(。◕‿◕。) @ Koogi to take her time and even if she delays Killing Stalking, it’ll turn out magical and beautiful at the end 

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ @ Lezhin + Koogi as long as it’s going to released, we can wait probably forever

Me and like the 3% of the fandom ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) give us a reliable release date, don’t announce it until you guys are for certain ready to publish it at that time