i struggled so long with this decision

My Story

After I posted my letter about starting a new job at Dreamworks I got a lot of messages and emails from people asking if I could talk about my journey more in detail and how I got here despite going to school in Pittsburgh for psychology and almost giving up on animation halfway through college. I know that I would have appreciated reading something like this a year and a half ago so I thought I’d share my story in the hopes that it might be able to help someone who is struggling. Plus: a detailed explanation of how social media has done so much for me as an artist.

Buckle in guys. Lots of text under the cut! 

Keep reading

2

I’ve been struggling a bit lately with some chronic pain and anxiety but today I made the spontaneous decision to paint - which I haven’t properly done in over a year - and I am feeling so, so delightful. I haven’t felt this at ease in a long time. I just put on some tunes and sat and made art and my heart feels so light. I feel okay. LOOK AT THE PASTEL COLOURS! I F*CKING LOVE PASTELS! I’ve never been a confident painter, but I was able to mask that by putting my doodling to use over it and I’m sooooo pleased with the result. (The one on the right - the left isn’t finished yet.) 

PAINTING IS TRICKY AND SO IS LIFE, BUT I GUESS THEY BOTH TURN OUT OKAY IN THE END!!

Successful People Start Before They Feel Ready

“If you’re working on something important, you’ll never feel ready. A side effect of doing challenging work is that you’re pulled by excitement and pushed by confusion at the same time.” – James Clear

The Start-Up Guy is well underway. I have been working with several businesses, including a very exciting Johannesburg-based business which is launching in the next two months. I am so honoured that they used and continue to use my services.  

I’ve noticed a common trait amongst all the guys and girls I’ve been working with recently, and I thought it might be useful to share because I think many other people are experiencing the same thing.

Almost all entrepreneurs don’t know what they’re doing and it’s perfectly okay. In fact, I don’t know of a single one who, at the outset, knew exactly what they needed to do and when to do it. Before your mind does that thing where it jumps to conclusions, let me explain.

A start-up is an experiment, a matter of trial and error. No one can be fully certain about the route it will take. At best, one can have a firm idea of the intended outcome, but whether that transpires is all dependent on the market’s response to your idea (and who really knows what that’ll be? Right?).

Sir Richard Branson has one of the most interesting entrepreneurial stories, for me, because he started many of his companies largely by mistake. He dropped out of school to continue a magazine business he had no idea was going to sustain him. As a way to grow his magazine sales, he started distributing music records made by unknown artists to his readers, and so began the journey of Virgin Records. He started Virgin Airlines after he was delayed by his flight facing maintenance issues before take-off. This guy is the epitome of just getting on with it. This guy is also worth $5 Billion today!

As an entrepreneur and business owner you have to embrace the learning process and continuously learn (by doing). Learn your market, learn your business, and continuously adapt your learnings to suit your market as you go. The entrepreneurs who embrace the learning process and respond to unexpected events in real time are often the ones who do very well.

Without babbling on for too long, the moral of the story is that not knowing what to do is not a good enough reason to not start your business. Passion and a basic idea is enough. Even if you are physically incapable of carrying out certain tasks, outsourcing skills is a thing (like helluurrr, this is why people like me are here). It is no mistake that one of the single most important traits that investors look for in entrepreneurs is passion, especially in the very early stages of a start-up. Not “intelligence.” Not qualifications. Passion (synonymous with commitment/dedication in this regard). A founder who is not passionate about what they are doing will give up when they face the inevitable hurdles of starting a business. Passion is the fuel by which a project goes from start-up to a fully-fledged business.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you can go and start the next big business with the technical skills of a toddler. I am merely saying that, within reason, you can start a business without the technical know-how, as long as you have the dedication to follow through with the necessary steps. In doing so, be realistic, tread carefully and always consult a professional when you’re thinking about making an expensive decision.

If whilst reading this article you had a certain project or idea in mind, maybe it’s time to pursue it with everything you have. Why aren’t you? That was not a rhetorical question. Like Richard Branson famously said, “screw it. Just get on and do it.” If you are really struggling with how to conceptualise or begin your business, consult me and we can find a solution together. 

Once again, thank you for reading.

Tweet me @sazi08
8

Queen Sugar (2016 – ∞ )

We want to win for all those who lost. For all the people who came before us who struggled and strained so we could be here right now making this decision, making it better. It’s our turn to try. They risked for us, why can’t we do the same?

Art raffle bonus prize for @wildunderbeastly ♥

Hello everyone! ♥

“Should I change my major?” is a question I asked myself not too long ago and I truly struggled with it. For me, as a german university student, this question was tough, because the system here is different from the one in the US.
Since I know how tough the decision can be, I wanted to help all of you struggleing studyblrs out, so I hope, this masterpost will help you.

Should I change my major?

First of all: Think about why.

Why do you want to change your major? I feel like there are three big aspects on which your thoughts rely; your grades, your major in general and yourself.

  1. Your grades. - Why do you have bad grades? You don’t get the subject? Is it too hard? Maybe you didn’t study enough? Is uni in general too hard and are you more of a practical type of person? Is the workload too high in your major?
  2. Your major. - You don’t get the classes you need? Is your university unorganized? (And yes, that can be the case!) Are you not organized enough? Can’t you work in the field you want to work in with that degree? Will you be able to pay your bills?
  3. You. - Is your major less fun than you thought it would be? Did you expect to learn something completely different? Are the teachers all bad and you can’t teach you the subject yourself?

Noone can answer these questions for you. You have to think about them and be honest to yourself. Take your time, because the better you know what exactly makes you want to jump out of the 5th floor instead of staying any longer in the classroom (been there), the better you will be able to make a decision.

But now comes the really important question:

Are you just uncomfortable or are you in pain?

No, not necessarily literal pain, but there’s a huge difference between wanting to jump out of a window or rather wanting to chill at home right now. Ask yourself: have you been lazy or did you really have a huge questionmark over your head when you read the same page of that textbook the 4th time around? Do you just need a planner or do you email your professors begging for a spot in that class but there just aren’t any free spots anymore? Are you having a bad time at the moment or does the thought of going to that class tomorrow make you want to vomit? Behind this degree, is there your dream job waiting for you or are you unsure if this is really what you want to do?

Again, only you and yourself can answer these questions. Be honest about it.

Whatever you decide to do, please keep in mind, that you’re making a very important decision. Definetely take your time with it and talk to someone about your idea. Maybe even talk to a counselor (that’s what I did and they really helped me).
When you made the decision to change your major, know that not everyone is going to support you. My parents weren’t too happy about it at first, but friends can be disappointed, as well. Please keep in mind that this is your decision, not theirs. Despite everything, changing your major can be a huge opportunity to learn something new and find happiness and also a big relief.

If you have any further questions or want me to write about my very personal experience, my ask box is always open.

Like, I am supposed to be working but ever since I saw that Vetra/Jaal art, I’ve been thinking how well it works. I mean, if you listen to their banter you don’t even have to squint too hard to imagine a possible romance. (Jaal: So, you act like you don’t like me because you’re not sure if I like you. Vetra: That… kinda covers it. Jaal: *laughs* No, I don’t resent you. And what I know so far, I like. Just… sign me up?)

Think about what a revelation the angara and Jaal’s family, in particular, would be for Vetra. She’s been doing her damnedest to hold together her little family of two for so long. She had to grow up way too early. She’s had to struggle and struggle and make a lot of hard decisions. She’s been Sid’s mom as much as her big sister.

Can you imagine how magical it would be for her to be taken in by Jaal’s family? His mothers? And you’d have Sahuna just fawning over her, and trying to learn dextro cooking, and telling Vetra all these embarrassing Jaal stories that Vetra would totally tease him about. “Oh no, please. Tell me more.” (Stories are things to collect, too, after all. They’re even things to trade. These ones, though, are not on the free market.) You’d have Sid getting to be around other people her age, welcomed and loved and mothered without it always falling to Vetra. It wouldn’t have to be Vetra and Sid against the galaxy anymore, you know? 

And, and, and you’d have Jaal and all his kindnesses; this tender, giving person who wants literally nothing from Vetra except what she chooses to give. Vetra, who has built her adult life around getting things for people, and suddenly there’s this person who thinks the sun rises and sets for her without any ulterior motive. And she’d know if there was an ulterior motive because he’s angaran. He writes her poetry, for God’s sake. It’s about partnership, not trading favors. They make each other laugh. She hunts down ingredients she thinks he’ll like and fabrics that flow and beautiful, impractical paper for him to write on. He leaves new lotions on her workbench. But she’s not sure, she’s not sure, she’s so afraid it’s all not what she thinks it is. “Friends,” she says. “This is what friends do, right?”

When she takes him on that climb (something he may finally like about Kadara); when she stands with him at her side on the cliff, watching the sun rise; when she says so softly they’re neither of them sure if the words are for him or for herself, “Is this real?” he does not hesitate before replying, “It is, dearest. It is.”

This is why I’m at peace with Episode 12 

Part 1 of 2 - Katsuki Yuuri’s journey

I have a friend who was somewhat disappointed with the ending of Season 1 of YOI, so I’ve written a full analysis on Yuuri and Victor’s motivations and goals.

It’s lengthy, but I hope it does help some of you feel more satisfied with what happened in Episode 12. Yuuri and Victor will have separate posts.

Click here to read Part 1 - Yuuri’s analysis.
Click here to read Part 2 - Victor’s analysis.

(And I am really sorry about the length of this, guys. There is a KEEP READING cut beneath this paragraph, but I know sometimes phone apps ignore them. I apologize in advance that tumblr doesn’t always recognize its own coding.)

Keep reading

sailor-sutcliff  asked:

THIS IS DUMB BUT LIKE how would the RFA+V+Saeran react to MC having really curly, wild, and big hair? (I only see MCs with either the normal long straight hair or neat wavy hair so bleh ignore this if it's too boring lol)

Hello darling! Your request is not dumb at all!

Having that kind of hair myself, I know the struggle very well ç__ç

okay, my hair is actually quite short, BUT STILL

Anyway, hope you enjoy!


Yoosung

  • well, MC does not look like Rika after all
  • he’s kinda… relieved?
  • he’s also in awe, because he’s pretty sure he never saw anyone with hair as curly or as big as MC’s
  • and to think that is just their natural state… wow
  • he’s impressed
  • he expecially the way MC looks like when she wakes up
  • he finds it cuuute
  • i have no idea how he could find it cute, but anyway

Zen

  • just tell him h o w
  • “MC what kind of product do you use?”
  • “what do you mean ‘nothing’? That’s impossible!”
  • “MC, be honest”
  • it takes him a while to realize that MC hair looks like that because it is like that
  • he doesn’t know whether to be disappointed or amazed
  • he goes with amazed
  • it seemed impossible, but he did find someone whose hair is better than his

Jumin

  • he’s not used to it
  • i mean, elizabeth the 3rd’s fur is soooo short and soft
  • it does not look like MC hair, not even a little
  • he has to admit, though, that MC hair is actually softer than he thought
  • conditioner is the most amazing thing humans have ever invented, fight me on that
  • he makes sure that MC has access to all the best hair products known to men
  • he also insist that MC has a professional hairdresser taking care of her hair regularly
  • he just enjoys spoiling her - and her hair

Jaehee

  • it reminds her why her hair is so short
  • i mean, her hair is actually pretty straight
  • she’s not lol
  • but seeing MC struggling with her hair makes her feel happy of her decision of cutting it
  • sometimes tho, she’s kinda jealous
  • she wonders if MC’s hair would look good on her
  • and that’s when she decides to let her hair grow

707/Saeyoung

  • “MC you look like a pissed off lion”
  • i’m sorry, i’m so used to my mum telling me the same thing i just had to put it somewhere
  • he has to joke about it, bc he’s an idiot
  • a funny idiot, though
  • he spends most of his time stroking MC’s hair
  • it helps him relax, expecially after a long day of work
  • it’s literally his favourite hobby

V

  • well, not to be rude, but it’s not as if he can see it
  • bc he’s blind
  • instead, he tries to touch it as often as possible
  • he loves running his fingers through it whenever he has the chance
  • he also loves its smell
  • it’s something floreal, something that MC seems to love
  • and ofc he loves it too

Saeran

  • “MC, can I touch your hair?”
  • he’s totally in love with it
  • he wants to touch her curls all the time
  • he’s like a child in front of a candy shop
  • sometimes his fingers get stuck in MC’s hair and he’s just like “oh, fuck”
  • because he knows he will hurt MC if he tries to pull them out
  • and he doesn’t want to hurt her
  • so he just stays there, with his hand in her hair, while MC tries to separate her hair from his fingers

Let’s all pretend MC’s hair is not fuzzy at all ^^

Feedback is always appreciated!

The College Years - Freshman Year (Chapter 17) - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “The Roommate, Part II”

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Isaac Lahey, Jordan Parrish, Sarah Millin, Cora Hale, Malia Tate, Ethan, Zachary Pillit & Reader/OFC

Warnings: Cursing probably, some blood and stuff.

Summary: The vampires have forced the Pack’s hand when they break into Y/N’s apartment and abduct your roommate, Hanna.

Chapter Sixteen - Chapter Seventeen - Chapter Eighteen

Originally posted by readersleepingintheforest


Scott walked in the door to see Y/N, Sarah, and Stiles sitting on the couch, Isaac standing behind them, and Parrish shaking the hands of the police officers who began filing out the front door.

“If you hear anything from her or the attackers, please contact us immediately.” The lead detective said to the group.

“They will, Detective. I’ll walk you out.” Parrish said to the man as he began walking out the door.

“Hey, Scott.” Parrish paused in the doorway and nodded his head the direction of their friends.

Stiles and Isaac saw Scott first and walked up to him. Stiles closed the front door behind Scott, then hugged his best friend. He left it unlocked to let Parrish back in again.

“How’s Allison?” Isaac asked.

“She’s okay. Mr. Argent and I have been catching her up on everything that’s been happening, monitoring her, so far, she seems okay.” Scott updated them. He peered over Stiles’ shoulder at the girls on the couch, holding hands but not speaking. “How are they?” Scott asked.

“Shaken up, upset…. Y/N got a little bruised, but that crack in the wall is from the other guy, so I’d say they’re doing okay.” Stiles whispered, ruffling his hair like he did when he was anxious. “Scott, Sarah saw everything… We have to fill her in on what’s going on. I promised her that we would in exchange for her not telling the police what really happened.”

Parrish walked back through the door and joined their conversation. “The detective thought that they would take it better coming from me, but he wanted me to tell them that they can’t stay here tonight. This place is a crime scene and they could both still be in danger.”

“We’re all still in danger.” Isaac chimed in.

Keep reading

Come Back. //Angst

Author’s Note: I accidentally deleted the original so I rewrote this by memory .-.

Originally posted by pixelrey

“I’ve been angry for so long. But I’m tired now. I’m tired of being angry. Im tired of being a monster…”

There he was, Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order and master of the Knights of Ren, pathetically kneeling before the scavenger that had caused the great spark of conflict in him. The same scavenger, who made his battle with the light much more difficult to withstand. Yet, inspite of all those reasons he had to hate her, he didn’t.

Rey was the girl who gave him the strength and purpose to stand up to his childhood tormentor. The girl who saw through him as if he were made of glass and understood him better than his parents, Skywalker or Snoke ever could.

Rey took a deep breath in, her heart clenching at how broken he was. It had occurred to her that she was no longer looking into eyes that told a story of anger and an undying lust for power. But the eyes of Ben Solo, the boy who had been abused and betrayed by the people he thought he could trust the most.

“You’re not a monster, Ben.” Rey whispered softly, getting on her knees and attempting to meet his low ridden gaze.

Rey always thought his eyes were a marvel to behold. They were dark with specks of gold surroundings his irises. Each brooding and intense glance he made, enough to send chills down her spine. However, all those qualities were now hidden under a thin veil of tears as he hung his head down, avoiding her eyes.

“I don’t… I can’t… even begin to understand how you are able to forgive me.”

His voice cracked at the end of his sentence, clearly struggling to contain all the emotions he had pent up inside of himself for so long. When he was training under Luke as a Jedi, he was taught that allowing emotions to cloud your decisions was not the Jedi way, so he kept everything to himself. However when he was under Snoke, he was taught that anger, hatred and pain were the only ways to fuel himself and that other emotions such as happiness, sadness and regret were considered a weakness.

And now he was gone, they both were.

Gently, she tilted his face upwards to meet her’s. With her delicate fingers against his cheek, she slowly traced the scar she had left him with all the way down to his narrow jaw.

“I forgive you because of who you are now. It’s the force that has led us to each other, and allowed me to love you, Ben Solo, with all my heart.” She brushed his dark hair away from his face as she took a deep breath in.

“I love you, Ben.” She repeated.

Rey could feel her heart hammering wildly against her chest as she tried to keep herself calm and composed for him. This was the first time she had told someone that she truly loved them. Rey had only ever received them from Poe and Finn teasingly, just to get a reaction of flushed cheeks and flustered stutters from her. Ben was no different, he looked at her as if she was speaking a series of codes that he could not decipher. He was in disbelief and shock that she had the capacity to love him, that she was settling for someone who clearly did not deserve her compassion.

“Y-you shouldn’t.” He uttered out.

Ben had not heard that word in such a long time, the word itself had already become foreign to him. It echoed through his hallway of memories painfully, conjuring up old wounds of sorrow. The last time he had heard it was before Leia and Han sent him off to Luke. He spent majority of his teenage years nearly forgetting how it was like for his mother to kiss him on the forehead and say, ‘I love you’ whenever he went to bed. Looking for that same phrase in every letter she wrote him as a feeble reminder that they had not sent him away to rot in the Jedi Temple.

“And yet, I’m still here.”

Then, he could feel every wall he had built up crumble to the ground as if it were nothing. He buried his face into the crook of Rey’s shoulder as he began to cry, letting out pathetic whimpers and chokes as he did so. His pain arrived in the form of tidal waves as his emotions washed over his entire being, drowning in it. All the pain, guilt, loneliness and sadness he had felt since he was a child. Rey tried her best to remain strong for him, despite the overwhelming amount of pain he projected into their bond.To him, she was the physical embodiment of light. Her warmth engulfing him completely, loving and sincere.

It tore her up on the inside to see him like this. To realise that his cold and intimidating demeanor was just a wall for a lost and broken child to hide behind. Biting her lip, she tried her best to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill for him.

“It’s okay, I’m here for you. You’re not alone anymore.” She softly pressed a kiss to his ear, holding him closer to her as reminder that she was here, with him.

It had been a long while since he had experienced someone having genuine compassion for him. Branding it rare moments he used to have with his father, Han Solo. He could vividly remember every single moment his dad would ruffle his hair, hug him and carry him up on his shoulders as a child before his mom would tell him he was being too rowdy with Ben. Han Solo, his father. The man he killed with the false belief it would make him stronger.

“I-I miss him, Rey. I miss him so much.” He admitted, “I miss both of them. M-my parents… I’ve been angry and hurt for so long because I thought they had sent me off just to die-”

“I know, Ben. It’s okay, just come back to me.”

Take A Hint

Lin Manuel Miranda x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, tiny suicide mention

Authors Note: im really sorry, check my future posts for a sorry explanation as to why I’m such a dick lmfao

You pressed your ear to the door, straining to hear the soft voices from inside. Everyone from the cast had seemingly disappeared all at once, and you found yourself wandering the halls till you saw an unfortunately tall Daveed Diggs slipping away into Lin’s dressing room.
“Can’t seem to figure it out…”
The voice quieted, and then they were all speaking at once, making it insanely difficult for you to keep up.
“Maybe if we…”
“No we’ve tried that…”
“It’s a possibility…”
You could identify the angelic voice of Pippa as she called order to the disorganized meeting, and she hushed everyone suddenly.
You heard footsteps approaching the door, and you quickly jumped back and sprinted around the corner.
Pippa’s head poked out from behind the slightly ajar door, and she looked from side to side, searching for eavesdroppers.
Finding none, she shut the door with a definite click, and the voices resumed talking.
You tiptoed back to your dressing room, and picked up your phone, debating on calling someone and asking where they all were.
Deciding against calling, you clicked on Lin’s contact and began typing.
~
“Oh my god. Guys Y/N texted me!”
Talk stopped, and immediately everyone was crowding around the phone, screaming to know what she said.
Pippa shouted over the mess of people to quiet for a moment, and looked out the peephole once more to check if Y/N was lurking.
“We’re good. Go on Lin!”
Lin opened the message.
“Hey b! Where’s everyone at? I’m lonely :(”
There was a beat of silence, and then the loudness resumed.
“You’ve got to go to her dressing room.”
“Are you crazy? That’d be suicide!”
“Well, are you just going to let her sit around and find a new guy?”
Lin ran his fingers through his hair, and called for order.
“You guys, I’ve been thinking. As much as I really hope that this isn’t true, what if she isn’t into me? I mean, I gotta respect her decision and not be a dick about it and keep flirting with her.”
Everyone turned their eyes toward Jasmine, who was Y/N’s best friend.
“I mean, it’s not very likely.”
She chewed on a fingernail, nervous as she spoke quickly. She felt immensely guilty for betraying her best friend like this, but it was for the good of Lin and you both.
“She talks about you all the time, and she’ll sometimes be smiling down at her phone and when I ask her what she’s looking at she’ll say nothing, but when she gets up and leaves her phone with me I’ll see she was looking at your Twitter. I think she likes you, but doesn’t think you like her back.”
Everyone groaned, as it seemed they were back to square 1.
“Can she not take a hint? God, of all the things that I did I thought she’d at least have some wisp of knowledge by now!”
Oak gestured towards Lin’s phone, the messages app still open.
“Are you going to leave her on read?”
Lin’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull.
“SHIT!”
~
You set your phone down, exhaling slowly and tapping your foot.
It had been exactly 12 minutes since you’d sent Lin a text, and he saw it 10 minutes ago, but hadn’t replied.
You paced around your dressing room, hands clasped behind your back as you crossed the room back and forth.
You were just turning on your heel when your door opened, causing you to jump back quickly to avoid the tops of your toes to be scratched.
A slightly disheveled Lin stood at the door, about a dozen of your cast mates standing ground behind him.
“Hi, Y/N.”
You smiled, and backed away from the door, inviting everyone in.
To your surprise, everyone but Lin walked out of the doorway, and shut the door behind them, leaving you to smile awkwardly at Lin before speaking.
“To what do I owe the honor, Mr. Miranda?”
You joked as he smiled.
“Just…”
He swallowed and looked more nervous than you had ever seen him.
“Are you okay, Lin? Here sit.”
You scooted over in your chair and gestured for him to sit next to you.
His leg pressed into your thigh, and you felt your face warming up at the sudden closeness of you two.
“I just need to say something right now, and it’ll be ten times easier to say if you don’t make any decisions till I’m done, so here we go.”
He spoke so quickly that you struggled to keep up with his words.
“I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/N. Longer than you probably know. If you even know. But no matter. You were just this sweet, amazingly funny and beautiful girl and I couldn’t keep my eyes off you since Day 1. I’ve tried so many times to express my affections towards you,”
He cringed, and laughed afterwards.
“I sound like I’m quoting a Thomas Jefferson letter. The point is, I need to know if you’ve taken the hint or if I need another gesture to make it known.”
You were at a loss for words, so you did what anyone who had a mouth but no words would do.
You kissed him.
His initial reaction was surprised, but soon he entangled his hands in your hair and pulled you closer.
You pulled away only when you heard cheers from the door, and groaned and hid your face as your fellow actors and actresses clapped and whooped.
Lin smiled down at you, making you blush and wrap your arms around him.
“I’m glad you took a hint.”

vanzell-nw  asked:

How do all the functions work as inferior functions?

Ni: Why do I always go back to that idea for the future? Why am I pulled toward an ideal, or a feeling of certainty toward the future? Whenever I feel like my life is out of control, I like to fixate on that one vision of what I want. I am optimistic about the future. I feel it is going to turn out all right. Sometimes, I figure out something out of nowhere… but it’s not often. I kind of hate introspecting, though … it seems a dangerous enterprise. I like things that are symbolic or archetypal… and I come up with some crackpot theories at times. I tend to be a little superstitious.

Ne: I don’t like discussing things that have nothing to do with reality. I want to know that the conversation is going to accomplish something before I engage in it or I become frustrated. Sometimes, I get a sense of what is going on between other people and am later proven right, but I’m not always sure at the time that what I am picking up on is the truth. It can be difficult for me to make decisions that will impact my future, because I’m not sure what that future looks like … any of sixteen things might happen. I shy away from long-term commitments unless I feel absolutely safe; otherwise, I’m inclined to worry about what might happen. I can be impulsive once in awhile and others at times comment on how naive some of my belief systems are.

Si: I can never find anything, and constantly forget the details of whatever I am working on, so my tax information is always late and in a muddle. I want to be well prepared at work but get bored with doing the research involved. I both hate the idea of traditions and family gatherings and feel like I should value them and participate in them. I’m a bit romantic and nostalgic about the past, and have a sneaking suspicion that I’d like a normal life at some point. I’m good at remembering details, but often it happens long after the incident. I don’t always remember things the way they were. My worry about forgetting things can make me anal about gathering information. I tend to over-prepare.

Se: I want to anchor my ideas in reality but … reality is overwhelming. I get sensory overload. Life is too loud, bright, and moves too fast. It feels like I am either totally detached from them or over-indulging in them. I really want to see my visions become real, but I’m not sure how to make that happen. I want to look my best. Exercising is a nice way to get rid of my stress, but sometimes I feel like I place too much emphasis on my appearance. I wish I wasn’t so impulsive… I blew my entire paycheck on a whim last week.

Ti: I really do want to objectively understand other people, but discussing them as if I do not care about them makes me feel uneasy and cold. I hate using impersonal logic or leverage against others. I want to ensure that I do things “right,” so I can be picky and fret if I make a mistake. I am learning to step back from other people and situations and analyze them freely, without that making me feel like a traitor. I am fairly good at seeing multiple perspectives on the issue at hand. I don’t like being challenged because I can’t always explain my reasoning; so I get defensive. I fear that I will never get it right, or be accurate.

Te: I want to be organized and efficient, but I’m totally disorganized. I hate schedules and trying to keep to them wears me out. I know that things are not working in my life, but I don’t know how to fix it and am angry at myself for being so disorganized. I’m learning to be more time-efficient, though, and I do like it when my DVD collection is alphabetical. I used to think less about the realistic consequences of my actions than I do now. I like to stick to the facts and can prove most of my arguments with evidence, but when others challenge my position I become defensive and irritated. Sometimes, I become abrasive and insensitive toward others in pushing my agenda.

Fi: I don’t think about my emotions much; mostly, I ignore them. My beliefs are somewhat simplistic and I’m not inclined to deviate from them. It’s hard for me not to think that others should share and live by my values. I want to do something worthwhile with my life, so I work hard to accomplish things in the real world. I am very loyal to the causes I believe in, but I struggle to be loyal and have no respect for lazy or inefficient people. I’m learning to be more tolerant, though, and not be uncomfortable with other people’s emotional decisions. Sometimes, I’m okay with admitting to my faults… but other times, I’m more inclined to cry or have a tantrum… I just hope no one is there to see it.

Fe: I’d like to be able to comfort people, but I’m terrible at it. I wish I didn’t feel so responsible for other people’s feelings and needs. I long for others’ approval and to be accepted, but I can’t quite manage the social niceties, so often I just shut it off and can be insensitive. I get annoyed if people hit me with their feelings or act irrationally, and sometimes I get angry at them for it. I usually try to blend in socially, but I soon tire of it. I don’t always know how to talk about my feelings and am uncomfortable offering too much praise to others. Sometimes, I feel like no one likes me.

bittersweet
  • installing the bioelectricity block stopped all of winter’s active hallucinations
  • but the images of a frosty self and the bleeding castle stuck with her at night. she still had panic attacks and anxiety and sadness
  • jacin is relieved winter’s physically ok but he’s really concerned for her mental health
  • he cares for her but bc of the awful environment they grew up in, he’s not the best at doing it. he’s controlling, telling winter what he thinks is best for her without her input
  • winter loves him but cannot handle his behavior bc how is she supposed to get better when this is making her worse? 
  • it’s not that he doesn’t listen to her, he wants to take care of her, it’s just they have different ideas for how to do it
  • winter goes to cinder to vent, and they spend several long hours crying and talking about how to make this whole mess easier
  • cinder admits she’s been struggling too, and they make plans to have talks like this at least once a week. winter and jacin sit down to discuss everything
  • they both attend therapy, solo and together, and it’s the best decision they’ve made so far
  • the rampion crew creates a group therapy, bc how could anyone else understand their struggles? it also allows their friendship to strengthen and grow
  • over the next several years, the effects of their trauma fade. sure, there’s still nightmares and triggers and flashbacks. but the rest of the time it’s peaceful, and happy
  • jacin trains to be a pediatrician, and winter acts as a politican and peace ambassador between earth and luna
  • by their mid-20′s, their relationship is much healthier than it was several years prior. winter is in control of her anxiety, and jacin is supportive while still giving winter the space she needs. 
  • a decade after the revolution, winter and jacin are married on december 21st, the solstice (for winter and her mother). it’s a beautiful and happy event.
  • for their honeymoon, they go to new york, and spend part of the week by themselves, part of it with thorne and cress who are platonic travel buddies, and with the rest of the crew to celebrate christmas/hanakkah
  • winter loves playing in the snow, and jacin loves how afterwards they cuddle with hot chocolate in front of the fire. on new year’s eve, they go to times square to watch the ball drop together
  • several years later when winter’s in her early 30′s, she becomes pregnant
  • they’re excited ofc, but also worried. jacin is concerned about any complications that could arise, especially any genetic problems. winter is worried about the baby’s health, bc she feels ok, but what about her child?
  • after running some tests, they find out that winter is at risk of high blood pressure and proteins
  • her next couple months are slow, since she has to stay on luna and she mainly just hangs out with cinder (who at this point is president of luna bc she’s dismantled the monarchy) 
  • she’s more tired and anxious than usual as a result of the pregnancy, but when jacin finishes medical training, she’s ecstatic. just in time for us to have our own baby!
  • autumn selene hayle is born several weeks early, but otherwise healthy, and she is the most adorable freaking baby in the universe.
  • she has dark curly hair and dark skin like winter, and she has grey eyes and cheekbones like jacin
  • they’re such a happy family, it’s weird to remember winter hunted after by levana, and jacin as a stoic guard (he smiles so much now)
  • basically, they lived happily ever after

despariablr  asked:

Long time tabletop fan. But those episodes only include 4 players. I am struggling to entertain family at large social events. Other than werewolf do you know any games that support 8-12 people?

With that many people, you’re pretty much limited to party games or deduction games with a traitor mechanic. In that category, the games that immediately come to mind are:

  • Secret Hitler 
  • Bang! 
  • Codenames 
  • Cards Against Humanity
  • We Did Not Playtest This At All

In my experience, however, there just aren’t that many games that are still fun to play with that many people, so we’ve made this decision in my group to divide up into smaller groups of 4 or so when we get a giant group together, and sort of move around from table to table, so more people can play together.

The dove, is peace. The grenade, is war.
The symbol, as many know, is that of my favorite band. but beneath that it’s much more to me.
It represents all of the harmony and achievement in my life, that could have never existed without the hardships, and all of the turmoil and struggle. They’ve existed collectively. Hand in hand. I won’t sit and pretend that I’ve found peace out of nowhere. I’ve accepted my bad decisions, my pain, the choices that led me to be who I am today.
I discovered this band in 2008, in the beginning of a lot of my struggle and a long few years of trouble of dangerous behaviors. But I came out on top, with the help of so many amazing family and friends, but also with the help of music. It’s cliche to say “this band saved my life” and that isn’t true because I’m the one who saved myself, but the music followed me through my journey. And for that I’ll sport my dove and grenade proudly, a reminder to myself of who I once was, and who I’ve become 🖤

tvline.com
Grey's Anatomy's Caterina Scorsone Previews Amelia's 'Terrifying' Surgery, Hints at Its Impact on Her and Owen | TVLine
By Charlie Mason

It’s a no-brainer: “Ambivalent,” Grey’s Anatomy leading lady Caterina Scorsone tells TVLine, is the word that best describes Amelia’s feelings about the life-altering surgery she undergoes in Thursday’s “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head” (8/7c, ABC). “On one hand, it’s terrifying. Somebody’s going to be cutting into her brain to remove the tumor, and though she’s a fantastic brain surgeon, it isn’t going to be her.

“On the other,” she continues, “there’s some degree of relief that they have found the source of the problem. So much of her behavior over the last season or two has been so erratic. She’d do something kind of wild and crazy and not really know why she did it. Even running away from [her and Owen’s] wedding… Yes, it could have been cold feet, but it was so sudden, so extreme, and then she came right back, and there was no discernible reason for it other than a spike of adrenaline, which essentially this storyline is explaining. She was having kind of chemical events happening inside her that informed her behavior.”

Now that Amelia knows the reason for at least some of the volatility that torpedoed her marriage, perhaps she and Owen can get it back on track. Certainly, that crosses her mind. “They got married very recently,” notes Scorsone, “and definitely, the tumor has implications for that period of her life — their romantic time together and all of the chaos of their marriage. So they definitely have to sort through how they want to go forward.”

Amelia herself will have some sorting-though to do, too. Among the questions that she has to ask, says her portrayer, is, without the tumor, “Is it possible that some of the aspects of her personality that she’s the most ashamed of or struggles with the most could be alleviated? I think yeah, there must be some hope.”

At the same time, the tumor will not erase Amelia. “We had some long discussions about this,” the actress says, “because we wanted to be very clear that the tumor was affecting her decision-making, her levels of adrenaline and her evaluation of risk. But the tumor is not Amelia. It did not create her personality.

“She even jokes about it a little bit,” she adds with a laugh, cracking “that she is greater than the sum of her tumorous parts.”

Attack On Titan Chapter 90 Thoughts

Well, that’s it, you guys! The story’s done - the basement is reached and the ocean is seen; though there is still unease among the people, that will be the struggle humanity has left to face: making their world the “real” paradise with true peace - after all humanity will only stop fighting once it is down to one.

Erwin’s struggles weren’t for nothing. The sacrifices made during these 100 years weren’t for nothing.

All is well.

It was nice sharing this experience with you guys!

Wait, wait, wait.. you’re telling me the ending doesn’t say it’s the final chapter?  That there’s still story left?

—–

Okay, we all know everything is going to hell in the upcoming chapters. I think the notes on my post with that small remark is proof by itself that everyone (or at least a big portion of people) has made that assumption.

This is a huge victory for the Survey Corps, but it’s delibrately deceptive. The people’s uncertainty, Eren’s uncertainty and Floche’s inconsiderate, but understandable guilt-tripping serve to show that this pacing choice was delibrate and the timeskip, but more importantly the decision of removing the Titan threat, was chosen to be made here for a reason.

The struggle with the mindless Titans is not what is important. The story is not really about the basement, the sea or the Titans. It’s about what they represent. It’s about a human heart struggling for freedom. It’s about the value of human life. It’s about the value of being yourself.  

So, Isayama chooses to neglect the plot for character and themes once more. By all means, the decision to kill all the mindless Titans in a few pages isn’t, uh, “logical” (for lack of better phrasing on my part currently) when it comes to storytelling, but the Scouting Legion reaching the ocean sure is emotionally satisfying. Rather than focusing on the plot, the story focuses on making you feel and well, I won’t lie, Armin tearing up while standing in the waves he has longed to see since being a child was a wonderful moment. It’s going to be great once animated.

In this little moment the story tells us that no matter how cruel the world is, all the struggles will be worth it and rewarded. That no matter how cruel the world is, it is also very beautiful.

This also means that the satisfaction with the story from this point on probably depends on your emotional attachement to the story. I love these characters and I love these themes. From this point on, *I* think at least, how good the story ends up being depends on the execution of character arcs and themes because that’s what makes us feel the most. Attack On Titan is through and through a story about feelings - even on the meta level.

I’m excited: this is Isayama’s first long story and it already has really great emotional strength behind it. Despite some clumsy plotting here and there, he has some great moments in terms of planning, too. What could he do with his upcoming stories now that he knows the process of creating a manga already and he already has a story this good?

The removal of the Titans means that Ymir and Annie have much bigger chances of appearance now. Annie has a much better chance of escaping when she manages to escape her crystal.

Ymir has a much better chance of being on the run because she could make it back to the island without much trouble now.

Going back a little bit, Historia’s decision goes along with the themes so far - deny the First King’s control and although the future will be uncertain, earn the victory against Titans (and “the enemy”) with honesty. Historia continues to be a boss, basically.

Moving on…

This basically sums up what the problem with Floch’s call-out speech is. He’s tactless and more importantly, straight-up just guilt-trips. The better translation makes Floch’s speech much more understandable rather than just immature. You can understand the flaws in his behaviour, but you can also understand where he is coming from. He saw many people die for humanity in that charge, but then these people go on to make completely irrational decisions for their personal reasons. He blames Jean, Sasha and Connie for not stepping up, but Sasha was straight-up unconscious during it all. He, too, is very irrational himself although he’s criticizing others for being like that. I like that a lot. 

I actually do look forward to him having a small character arc like growing to be a more understanding and a more mature person. He, too, experienced loss, and he’s showing it in his own way.

I think one of the notable elements to bring up here is Mikasa’s reaction. She’s been wavering between doing her duty and caring for her family for a while now and the moment on the roof is what brought this up. In the end she accepted losing Armin.

Floch puts the idea in the worst way imagineable: she just stopped fighting. But the basic idea of Mikasa’s character arc is not that she should stop fighting, but that sometimes feelings have to be put aside - not that she should stop caring or stop fighting for those she loves, but find the strength to move forward despite that.

All you need is love~

The Eldians and Marleyans just gotta have a huge hugging spree.

On a more serious note, this once again brings up the idea of the cycle of violence repeating itself. The fun part is that the reason Zeke wants the Eldians wiped out is because he thinks they are prideful and want to rebuild their kingdom responsible for oppression, so his idea of ending “this cursed history” is simply killing everyone.

Eren asks a question about this in a more thoughtful and contemplative manner.

Maybe Eren hasn’t quite let go of his stiff moral code, but he definitely has grown in that direction. He doesn’t scream and flail about “killing them all” anymore, but his statement is drained and his faith in his dream wavering because, perhaps, they’ll all just be eaten by dogs by the end of it all. He tries to comfort and see the good in everything by saying that they don’t really know, but secretly his dream of freedom is wavering.

There are two extremes the search for freedom could lead to: either the Eldians repeat history or are killed by the enemy.

All that also means that the solution likely lies in Zeke’s (and probably Eren’s) character development. The lack of Titans also means that it could come down to the “humanity is it’s own enemy” thematic element, which is one of my favorites and one of the best executed ones in the story.

I’m also happy that this chapter confirms that Grisha probably honestly really did have a change of heart because his request is about protecting Eren, Mikasa, Carla and the people inside the walls.

This chapter was really emotionally satisfying to me above all else. Them reaching the ocean is one of my favorite moments in the series now. I don’t have a problem with the grieving being skipped (I get the feeling we might see it in a flashback during an important moment) and I’m more here for the characters and themes rather than just the plot stuff. While it probably isn’t perfect writing, it feels natural in terms of structure to me. It feels like it happened with reason and logic.

So yeah, I actually liked it a bunch.

Emotional and thematic impact matters to me the most and this chapter delivered in my eyes.

The Masks We Wear (8/?)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

AO3

Thanks, as always to @coffeewithcaptainswan​ for beta’ing - and in record time. She’s the real superhero here, folks!

Sorry for making you all wait forever for this. Real life is hard.

Also, in case you couldn’t guess from the last chapter there’s some whump and anxiety attacks ahead - so proceed with caution if that upsets you.

Previously on The Masks We Wear…

Emma Swan AKA The Saviour and Killian Jones AKA Hook AKA The Survivor are in love. They just don’t know it yet. Killian has rejected Emma as both her superhero ally and her best friend leaving her lost and confused. But she won’t have long to dwell on that. Regina has been unknowingly under The Dark One’s control and she has just led The Survivor into a trap …

“Emma wondered if somehow she had actually pricked him with her magic, so extreme was his reaction. But then it sunk in: he just didn’t want her.”

“First he had to defeat The Dark One, then he could find a way to fix his broken heart.”

“You and I are going to have so much fun. Well, I will at least.”

Killian was startled from sleep by soft lips against his own. After Gods knows how long of being experimented on by Gold, he was constantly on edge. Even this sweet gesture felt like a wicked game. His eyes flew open and he looked up into the eyes of The Saviour.

He gasped in shock, overcome by the emotion of the moment. She waved a hand to release the bonds pinning him to the table and pulled him into a tight hug. “You saved me.” He managed to choke out.

She pulled back to look straight at him. “Aye, that’s why they call me The Saviour.” She grinned.

“And you’re bloody marvellous.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently, overjoyed that she accepted his lips happily after the last time he tried to kiss her. “Might I - might I take off your mask, love? You’re getting to see my devilishly handsome face properly for the first time, shouldn’t I get to do the same with you?”

Keep reading

when you get scared on halloween and ask the boys to come over (guanlin scenario)

A/N: my second scenario on this blog!!! hehe. i wrote this since my first scenario wasn’t of guanlin (even though i started out writing that one as a guanlin scenario), and i really wanted to have a guanlin scenario on my blog, so tada… i… really hope you like this one as well.. ahhhhh idk im so new to this whole writing thing.. anyways hope you enjoy :-)

In hindsight it had probably been a terrible idea to watch a bunch of scary movies while you were at home by yourself on Halloween, if only you’d thought of that before you’d done it. You were normally fine with horror movies, but something about it being Halloween and the house being completely empty just creeped you out.

As a result you decided to call Guanlin and see if he wanted to come over and keep you company. Jaehwan had answered his phone though and that lead to all eleven of them showing up on your doorstep in ridiculous costumes with heaps of junk food and some more movies.

“The party has arrived.” Seongwoo shouted as he walked through your front door.

“Oh my god.” Guanlin groaned, coming to stand beside you while all the other boys made their way into your living room. “I’m sorry about them, they’re all hopped up on sugar and they really wanted to come over.”

You let out a small laugh and shook your head. “It’s fine, seriously, I just didn’t want to be alone.”

“You’re probably going to be re-thinking that decision by the end of the night.” He laughed and you both went and joined all the other guys.

A couple of movies and a whole lot of lollies later you could feel yourself beginning to fall asleep. It was a struggle to try and keep your eyes open enough to focus on the movie so you just gave up and closed them and before you knew it you’d drifted off to sleep.

You were woken again not too long after that when you felt a set of arms wrap around you and lift you from the couch. You managed to open your eyes just a crack and saw that Guanlin was carrying you back to your bedroom.

“Oh hey, you’re awake again.” He said quietly, a small smile making its way onto his face. “Did you want to go back out to the lounge room?”

You shook your head and yawned. “No, I’m probably going to crash again. You can put me down you know, I can walk the rest of the way.”

“Nah.” Guanlin scrunched up his face and shook his head in response. “I’ve got you and we’re almost there anyway.”

He was right, and less than a minute later he gently placed you down on your bed. You’d just crawled under the covers and got yourself comfortable when you felt him fall into the space beside you.

“Do you mind if I stay in here?” He asked, kicking off his shoes without waiting for an answer. “I don’t think the guys intend on going home tonight and if I ever have to share a couch with Jihoon again it will be too soon.”

You stifled a yawn as you nodded and lifted the covers so that he could get in. You barely heard him whisper good night as you once again fell asleep.

***

When you woke up the next time it was entirely Daehwi’s fault and if you weren’t so tired you might have tried to hit him. You could hear him talking to himself and the light from his phone was on so you put two and two together and figured out that he was probably recording a V Live.

You’d been so irritated at Daehwi for waking you up that at first you didn’t even notice that you were curled into Guanlin’s chest and he had one arm wrapped lazily around your waist. Just when that realization began to truly set in Daehwi burst into the room talking about something before he shoved the camera in Guanlin’s face.

“What have you got to say for yourself, huh Lai?” You managed the catch the end of his sentence.

“Go away Daehwi..” Guanlin mumbled, pulling his arm away from your waist so he could use both his hands to block the light from Daehwi’s phone. “We’re trying to sleep.”

“The two of you were looking awfully cozy, all cuddled up together and such.” He let out a loud laugh and you turned even more into Guanlin’s chest, trying to block him out completely.

“Dude you’re not even making sense, just leave us alone.”

“Fine, whatever, ruin all my fun.” Daehwi complained as he walked out of the room. “You guys are so adorable, it’s gross. I don’t want to see that anyway.”

The door to your room shut with a soft thud and Guanlin let out a loud sigh.

“He’s such an idiot.” He said mostly to himself. “I’m sorry if he woke you up.” The last part was obviously directed at you.

“It’s fine.” You muttered, already beginning to doze off again.

“I - um, is this alright?” He asked, referring to how close the two of you were at the moment. You thought that it was kind of cute that he was so worried.

Instead of responding you placed his arm around you again and moved closer to him.

“Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.” He said before he let out an actual giggle. “Good night.” He whispered once again before kissing your forehead softly.

All in all, despite how bad the night had started off, you had to say that it ended pretty well.