here’s closeups on those magnets + some pins I bought a really long while ago but completely forgot to post about heCKO. These are all from @lullishop!! :0
I got a metal case for my new computer specifically so I could stick a heck ton of magnets on it lol. I still plan on purchasing 3 more TFA magnets and a Blurr pin once their shop reopens!! :0 these things are super cute honestly I highly recommend checking out their stuff!!
this is probably gonna be long but whatever. stick with me.
soooo im currently rereading the original pjo series. and i am feeling. so many. things. i realized a lot of things too.
okayyy so in PJO, we view percy as reckless. stupid. always acting on impulse. basically that dumb guy that never thinks befire doing things. BUT in HOO, we start viewing him as mature and smart and strategic and all that. But he didnt grow THAT much. Percy didnt age that much in hoo.
Remember that iconic scene (Mark of Athena, i think?) where they meet some kind of monster/bad ppl (im too lazy to search it up) aboard the argo II and it was percy that thought of saying that Dionysus was with them? Percy knew about their fear of dionysus, and how he turned them inti dolphins. So he got some diet coke as “proof” that he was there and asked frank to turn into a dolphin. Genius, right?
Annabeth called him smart after that.
That was the only time we considered him smart. (Well not ONLY, just one of the few times.) But guess what? He’s been doing smart shit like that for years already.
I cant really mention all of the times he did something smart/wise. If i did it would take me days before i finish typing.
So i realized why we only thought he was smart in hoo but not in pjo.
In PJO, it was in first person, so we saw everything through the eyes of percy. In this series, he only focused about how stupid he was, about how great other people were and how better they are then him. But he doesnt focus about all the good/smart/wise things he’s done. Percy doesnt know that he’s smart. All he knows is that he is stupid, worthless, and all other negative things.
in HOO, however, we were reading from another person’s point of view. We saw percy from another person’s eyes. We noticed things that he doesnt notice himself.
Hazel called him a god, once, because he was just THAT attractive. Everyone else looked up to him, and thinks he’s the most powerful/strongest person to exist.
But Percy doesnt know that. All he knows is that he’s stupid.
SOOOO, long story short, Percy hates himself.
Ok bye sorry if this was long I just love Percy so much and i a m f e e l i n g s o m U C h
So there’s one bit near the end of the Genocide Run that hit me pretty hard, personally. And as with most things that hit me very hard emotionally, it was a random almost throwaway line that wasn’t written to be focused on that much. But whether it intentionally held the meaning I took from it or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I DID take meaning from it.
When Flowey is monologuing near the very very end of the game and explaining what he went through, he talks about how he lacks the ability to feel anything for the people around him, and how desperately, frantically, he wishes he did. He talks about how, at first, he tried to help people. He talks about how at first it seemed to help, but every time it was time to let go, to move on, he got scared and couldn’t do it. He’d panic and reset instead. And how then he’d be right back where he started. And he would try helping everyone again.
But it became hollow. Everyone always said the exact same things, and did the exact same things. And nothing changed. And nothing new ever happened.
And eventually, just out of sheer desperation for SOMETHING new, he decided to kill everyone. And how that was at first a relief, but even that grew stale and empty as he did it over and over again. Until he was left with nothing, and there was nothing to care about, either for better or worse, but he couldn’t let go either. So he was trapped in this world where nothing ever changed, and he couldn’t make himself leave.
It’s a sad story, but it’s also a bit of a gut punch because of its implications.
Maybe in time, the person playing the game, the actual human being behind the keyboard, not the pixel character they control, would find themselves in the exact same situation. Eventually, things in a game stop changing. Characters always say the same things, do the same things. And maybe in time, as boredom takes over, the player would also try a genocide game just for SOMETHING new. But eventually even that will become empty and lead to nowhere after you do it enough.
I can’t really say if that’s true or not. I can’t say it’s false either.
But It’s 2 years now. And a lot of us are still here. And more importantly a lot of us still care. Quite deeply in fact.
And maybe we won’t care forever, maybe the same thing will happen, or more likely, we’d be the ones able to let go and move on to other things and let go. Maybe there’s no escaping that.
But it’s been 2 years, and at least for now, we’re still here.
There is also the possibility I’ve considered, that since the insane success of the game was never expected or anticipated at all, that the level of love it caused in gamers was a complete and utter surprise, maybe their ability to never fall into that cycle of apathy and just how long they can keep going, caring as hard as ever, will also be a complete surprise that was never foreseen.
Or even more simply, maybe Flowey just needed to be shown, as with so many things, he was wrong about that too.
Who knows. Honestly I can’t say how things will look in time. It could either way.