i still miss matt all the time

Imagine you meet your soon to be best friend, Matt Murdock, by punching out a boy who was bullying him.

First days of anything sucked and it wasn’t any different for the start of high school. You’d thought life would give you a break but instead fate had other plans.

About half way through the day on your way to 5th period you noticed what looked like an upperclassmen pushing around a somewhat smaller guy in the halls. You thought it was better to walk away and not start anything on the first day of school and kept walking your way to class; as you passed by you saw the kid wearing shaded glasses and a walking cane on the floor.Your resolve immediately crumbled.

Matt Murdock only wanted to get to class but being blind meant he had to play the part even though he could tell you where every body in that hall was (and some of outside not to brag or anything). So there he was tapping away his cane pretending to find his way through. That was when he heard a deep laugh and he felt a guy bump into him; Matt heard more laughter from a group of guys farther back; and easily figured out this was on purpose.

“Hey ,punk, watch where you’re going.” The older guy said in a nasty tone pushing Matt a bit making him drop his cane since he had a loose hold on it.

“Oh, wait? You cant.” the guy said as if his joke was actually funny. Matt was already sick of his voice and just about ready to punch him.

That’s when you came in and straight up sucker punched this dude who was way taller than you.

“Have you ever tried not being not an asshole, asshole?” you remarked and as you stared at the guy knocked out on the floor. You rolled your eyes and went to pick up the walking stick. As you handed it to him you grabbed his arm and started walking the direction he seemed to be going earlier.

“So what class?”

“Huh?” all Matthew could do was look confused as he was still shocked at the events that just took place and how you acted as if nothing happened.

“Where are you headed, as in what class do you have next?”

“Oh. Um. Miss Burns, 306”

“Cool. That’s where I’m heading. Now i have a new buddy to sit next to.”

“Sure, buddy. So does this buddy have a name or are you just buddy?’

”(Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N). And you?

“Matt. Matt Murdock.”

And that was how you met your  best friend, Matt Murdock.

Friendzoned M.C - chapter 1

Originally posted by cliffxrdsloveaffair

Summary: Nyla thought a trip to Bali with her best friend was all she needed to escape her problems but she didn’t know that things are always complicated. Even in a tropical destination with your best friends, things can get pretty heated. In good ways and in bad.

A/N: I did say this in my previous post but this fanfic is really long and it’s kinda crappy buuut there’s some cute Michael fluff and smut in here so if you hate most of it I hope you like the fluff + smut. Also the way Crystal is written in this book is no way what I think of her in real life, I think her and Michael are really cute and I do ship them together as a couple.

- Find my Masterlist here -

- chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 -

________________________________________________________________

Keep reading

AU where Tord never left, he was in his lab all along, and had a robot and all, but there’s so much more in there!

He also has more of a lab underneath the house, so he buolts people-sized robots and cat robots and stuff, and also has a chemistry lab, s recording room, a kitchen, a bedroom, an indoor taret range, and all sorts of odd things, too.

The only reason anyone knows at all is because Tord dropped something, and Tom heard it. So Tom goes in there, and finds Tord (who has been missing for nine years) and he gets really upset because he didn’t know Tord was still there the whole time, watching that broken wreck he was. Everyone just assumed he left without telling anyone.

Instead of the end happening, Tord just came out to their info room and more or less said: ‘Hey, I never left and I have this stuff sitting right under our feet.’ (Matt is convinced that Tord is a hobo and there’s a train under the house.)

Happy 15th Anniversary

I still love digimon soooo much… god, how I miss this show.

So, happy anniversary Digimon. Thank you so much for being a part of my childhood and for all the things you have teached me. I will never forget you and once my nephew is old enough I will watch you with him one more time ♥

I can’t wait to see Digimon Adventure 03 in 2015 *__________*

Shrio: *Has been w/team voltron since day one, from the very first episode I’ve been trying to bring peace to the whole galaxy and when my friend was about to die for alien entertainment, I drew attention to myself so I would be thrown into the ring first. I let Pidge be angry with me, thinking that I didn’t put in the effort to save her brother because hating is easier than accepting and only told her the truth when she was ready to hear it. I fought off multiple brain fucks from an alien war lord and I earned the respect of the lead of the most powerful thing ever created. I smiled in the moments I was sure I was going to die and when my friend wanted to trust a group of Galra, the aliens that tortured me, cut my arm off, threw me in a fighting ring for their own entertainment and took away any self identification I had by putting my in a space prison uniform and not even bothering to use my name to address me, I put my goddamn trust in him and went aboard the alien ship with him. Then when things took a sinister turn and I feared for both of our lives, instead of lashing out, I respected their rules. I’ve been a very kind, loving and lovable character this entire time and after going missing for a long ass time, I’ve finally been confirmed to still be alive with a screen shot.*

Matt: *Ayyyyy lmao all u kno about me is that I didn’t wanna fite sum alien mf and that I found sum alien ice. Dank rite? N now I’m confirmed aliv n I get to be ruinited w/my fren. Lmao he wild but he chill. #4/20*

Fandom: OH MY GOD MATT IS ALIVE, PURE BOY, LOVELY BOY, WHAT A MEME, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING I WOULD DIE FOR HIM, MUCH LOVE, BLESS🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Inspirational/Recovery Songs
  • Until the End - Breaking Benjamin
  • Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
  • You’re Not Alone - Saosin
  • Not Alone - Red
  • I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin
  • Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance
  • Iridescent - Linkin Park
  • Open Letter - The Amity Affliction
  • Lost & Fading - The Amity Affliction
  • Never Alone - The Amity Affliction
  • The World is Ugly - My Chemical Romance
  • Beautiful - Eminem
  • Rooftops - Lostprophets
  • Beauty from Pain - Superchick
  • Courage - Superchick
  • Still that girl - Britt Nicole
  • The Sun is Rising - Britt Nicole
  • Feel the Light - Britt Nicole
  • It’s My Life - Bon Jovi
  • Skyscraper - Demi Lovato
  • Not Afraid - Eminem
  • Hold On - Good Charlotte
  • Jumper - Third Eye Blind
  • The Call - Matt Kennon
  • Don’t Jump - Tokio Hotel
  • The Curse - Disturbed
  • The Middle - Jimmy Eat World
  • Weightless - All Time Low
  • Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been - Relient K
  • I Don’t Like Mondays - Boomtown Rats
  • Missing You - All Time Low
  • I Heart H.C. - The Amity Affliction
  • Flowerbomb - The Amity Affliction
  • Pabst Blue Ribbon On Ice - The Amity Affliction
  • Anything - Hedley
  • Raise Your Glass - P!nk
  • Hall of Fame - The Script
  • Loser Like Me - Glee
  • Roar - Katy Perry
  • Tubthumping - Chamba Wamba
  • Brave - Sara Bareilles
  • The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes
  • Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) - Kelly Clarkson
  • Clean - Taylor Swift
  • Here for a Reason - Ashes Remain
It Started Out With A Kiss (LafayetteXReader sort of)

Words: 2224

A/N: Requests are always open if you have something you want me to write. As for this one, sorry! It’s interesting. But who doesn’t love Mr. Brightside! Enjoy!
—————————
Lafayette had been your friend for as long as you could remember. Until two years ago the two of you had been tight knit and hung out at every given opportunity. You’d gone through all of your school years with him since he’d moved to the States and the two of you had been side by side for every good and bad memory you could think of.

But two years ago had been when you had finally gotten married to Matt. Everything had been so great leading up to the wedding. The day of, you had been getting ready, everything had been about to start, and Lafayette had pulled you away for a second and flipped your life upside down.

Your best friend in the world had told you that he was in love with you, had been in love with you for years, Seconds before you were to walk down the aisle to marry the man you’d started dating because you thought Lafayette would never love you back. It took everything in you not to punch him in the face.

After the wedding was over, you’d dropped most of the contact you had with Lafayette in favor of letting him move on and enjoying your life with your new husband. Matt had questioned it, but had seemed slightly relieved at the same time. But last night the two of you had fought, again, and he’d said the one thing that drove you out of the house for the night.

‘This wouldn’t be happening if I was Lafayette.’

You’d said nothing in response, just turned and grabbed a jacket, your purse and walked out of the house. Inside your car you fought from bursting into tears because you knew he was right. Every feeling you’d had for Lafayette, that you thought had left when you’d gotten together with Matt, had only been buried and brought back to the surface when Lafayette had admitted his feelings for you. You loved Lafayette, and no matter how much you truly loved your husband, there would always been something between the two of you.

You had called Peggy to see if she would meet you at a bar downtown because you needed someone to talk to, and she was the closest thing you had to a best friend. She had said she wouldn’t be off work for another hour, but she’d meet you there, and you drove to the bar already needing a drink or three.

Four drinks and two shots in and you were feeling much better than you were forty five minutes ago. Until you spotted him. Lafayette approached your table with another drink for you and one for him.

“May I?” He asked.

You gestured to the seat and accepted the drink. Peggy would be here in the next half hour to save you if this happenstance meeting went awry. But you wouldn’t be at the bar when she showed up later than expected. You could remember making it back to Lafayette’s apartment, and a kiss that tasted distinctly of too much alcohol. But that was all you remembered about the entire night that led up to you being naked, in a familiar room, sleeping next to your very naked best friend.

There was a stabbing headache that only flared up as you continued to assess the situation. Both of you were naked, clothes strewn all over the floor, bedroom door wide open. You jumped out of the bed pulling the sheet tight around you and grabbed the phone off the floor from its spot near your jeans. It was dead.

You pulled on all of your clothes and threw the sheet back on the bed. Lafayette was miraculously still asleep so you sprinted towards the kitchen where you knew he kept a spare charger for your phone. You grabbed it from its drawer and plugged it in, tapping on your phone to hopefully bring it back to life faster.

As it sprang to life fifteen messages and three missed calls flashed on the screen. Ten texts and one of the calls was from Peggy, and the other five texts and two calls were from Matt. It was a Saturday so you didn’t have work, Matt did, so you called Peggy who also had Saturday off. She answered after two rings.

“(Y/N)?! Where the hell were you? I waited for you at the bar for an hour and a half last night.”

“Peggy,” you interrupted, “please. I have a hell of a hangover, and I’m afraid I made a very big mistake last night.”

“Where are you? I’ll come get you and you can explain in person.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “I’m at Lafayette’s apartment.”

Silence flooded the other end of the phone for several seconds. After a considerable amount of time she spoke. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

“I don’t remember last night,” you admitted, “but I’m ninety nine percent positive that we did.”

“Okay, just go wait outside and I’ll be there in ten. Try not to do anything else stupid.”

You groaned and unplugged your phone making sure to bring the cord with you; you could charge it more in the car. You hadn’t even had the chance to turn around when someone cleared their throat behind you, then spoke, his accent thick from sleep.

“I would offer to make you breakfast, but it seems you have somewhere else to be.”

You turned to see Lafayette leaning against the door frame, shirtless. He looked amazing as always, muscular yet thin, and taller than ever. His eyes were downcast as you walked towards him.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“As am I,” he murmured and he walked to the front door, opening it for you.

You all but sprinted through the doorway clutching your belongings. The hallways were all too familiar and you found your way downstairs and outside with ease. Peggy showed up a few minutes after you’d emerged from the building and you jumped in her car. She immediately punched your arm.

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

You groaned and rubbed your arm, “I don’t know Pegs, I had a little too much to drink and he was there. And he’s everything Matt’s jealous of, and I’ve missed him so much.”

“Jesus,” Peggy whispered. “Why did you even want to talk last night?”

You recounted the events of your fight with Matt the night previously as she drove you to the bar so you could pick up your car. When you had finished Peggy was practically growling.

“Good for nothing piece of crap. We told you you shouldn’t have married him.”

“I know,” you said. “He’s a good guy Pegs. Most days he’s a fine husband.”

“So what are you going to do?”

You sighed, “I’m not maintaining a relationship by lying. I have to tell him. But I need Laf back in my life. If I could just prove to him that Laf and I can maintain a friendship..”

Peggy’s snort cut you off, “I’m sure telling him about your one night stand will surely convince him of that.”

You turned to glare at her and she shrugged. She pulled up to the bar and you unbuckled yourself. “I’m going to start by telling him the truth, and whatever happens happens.”

“Call me if you need me,” Peggy added, and you walked off towards your car.
—————————
Things did not go well, not in the slightest, and you found yourself curled up that night on Peggy’s couch. She had listened to you sob for as long as you needed but it hasn’t helped you much. Peggy had been in bed for two hours by now, and you didn’t want to bother her any further, so you took a chance on the one other person you currently mattered to.

To: Laffy Taffy
Coastal Rhee’s?

You knew he’d understand. It was the place the two of you always gone when one of you needed to vent. You just hoped you hadn’t lost your best friend so much that he wasn’t willing to show up, or text back. But nearly immediately your phone went off.

From: Laffy Taffy
Nine A.M. Sharp.

The hours passed as you remained sleepless but it was soon a respectable hour to rise and got up and ready to go about your day. You’d brought your clothes with you from the house so there was no need to borrow. And you still had your car so you jumped in it and drove yourself downtown to the familiar cafe. You had arrived early, but someone with a familiar curly ponytail was already there drinking a cup of coffee.

You approached the table he was at and tapped the chair, “May I sit?”

His expression when he looked up was completely guarded. He was hurt, you knew it. But one look at your face changed his expression to one of worry.

“Mon amie, have you slept?” He asked.

“It’s been a long night,” you supplied, “I’m going to get a coffee before I sit, would you like another?”

He nodded and you turned to the counter to order and returned with two coffees. Two sugars for him, and a considerable amount of creamer for you.
After you had stirred your coffee for longer than was necessary you looked up to see him looking at you expectantly.

“Which question do you want me to answer first?” You asked.

He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, “Why out of the blue do you suddenly wish to be my friend again?”

You sighed, “I’ve wanted to be your friend again all this time Laf. You’ve always been my best friend, but for god’s sake you told me you loved me, on my wedding day no less, when the only reason I was with Matt was because I thought you’d never give me a chance.”

Lafayette’s eyes widened, you’d never gotten a chance to admit this to him. But if you wanted any chance of repairing your friendship then you couldn’t hold back anything.

“I didn’t know how to deal with that because when you told me all those old feelings for you came up. I love Matt, I truly do, but I love you too. And I figured the best way to get you to move on was to try to keep contact to a minimum.”

He shook his head, “I have not moved on ma chère.”

You gave a half hearted chuckle, “I kind of figured after the other night. But I’m not here to confess to you Lafayette, yes I had… Have feelings for you. But at this time I’m still married. I’m here because I miss my best friend.”

“At this time?” Lafayette echoed. “What about your husband?” His face scrunched up in disgust, “he does not approve of our friendship, no?”

“No he doesn’t,” you started, “But it shouldn’t have mattered in the first place because you’re my friend. And it certainly doesn’t matter now that he’s filing for a divorce.”

Lafayette choked on his coffee, “Divorce?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I told him what happened between you and I,” you grabbed your coffee and wrapped your hands around it to warm them up, “and he told me that if it had been any other man he could have worked through this with me, he could have eventually forgiven me, but it was you. So he kicked me out and told me to expect to see divorce papers soon.”

Lafayette reached for your hand and ran his thumb over your knuckles, “Mon amie, I am so sorry.”

“I should have seen it coming,” you choked out and brushed away the tears that had formed. “Everything went south so fast after the wedding.”

“That does not mean it hurts any less,” Lafayette said. “If it do not have anywhere to stay, you could stay with me for as long as you need.”

You patted his hand, “Peggy has offered her place up for the time being. Thank you though.”

“Of course,” Lafayette nodded, “would you like to grab some junk food and watch shows for old times sake?” He offered grinning.

You burst out giggling through the tears. “I would like that.”

Several hours later Peggy returned to her apartment to find you and Lafayette sprawled over the floor, your head on his stomach, junk food surrounding you, watching reruns of Friends on the television. She dropped her bag on the table by the front door and raised an eyebrow at the two of you.

“We are, how you say, vegging, ma puce,” Lafayette said you Peggy.

You held up a thing of Peggy’s favorite candy, “Care to join us?”

Peggy rolled her eyes and snatched the candy out of your hand before walking to her bedroom. “No sex on my couch!” She said as she closed the door behind her.

You were blushing furiously and sat up to protest, “This isn’t like that! We’re just friends.”

Lafayette was laughing as you laid back down. “You know our Peggy, mon chaton, she believes what she believes.”

You grinned back at him and snatched the licorice out of his hand to take a bite. Maybe one day it could be that way, but right now you were just glad to have your best friend back.

8

I have… left the TARDIS. It’s happened, I’ve filmed my last scenes. It was emotional. I think I’m in denial, I really don’t feel like I’ve left because I see Peter all the time, and I still see Matt all the time so I kind of believe I still have a key to the TARDIS. Which I might do have because I stole it. It’s been my life for the three-four years. 
                     It’s been really special

War Wounds

Part II.

In one world, Felix stabs Tucker, and Tucker stands back up. In one world he endures phantom pain and scar tissue and nightmare, but he survives, and continues to survive, and be a survivor. He learns his way around soldiers and death and can smile at it, the same way he smiles at his friends. He lives and he stands beside Washington as they face a new enemy, in one world.

This is not that world.

Part I.

Keep reading

I kind of expected this, but hearing this just makes my heart break so much more… fuck.. I didn’t know Daniel well, nor do I know the Cyndago guys well in general, since I just started watching them, but Daniel was my favorite guy, and he always made me smile every time I watched him. This breaks my heart so much, and here I am, crying while I sketched this, shaking, and I still am shaking, and shit.. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m so so sorry for Mark, Matt, Ryan and his family and other friends that are now heartbroken over this, but he’s an angel. he made so many people smile, and that’s probably what his goal was. We all are going to miss him so much, I already do, and we all love him so damn much as well. I don’t know what else to say except rest in peace Daniel. You damn well deserve it.

“Early Morning Magic”
My usual late night had turned to early morning by the time I headed home.
The sun was starting to rise on my left while the moon was setting on my right as I headed south towards Lake Ontario. Although I was getting tired, I was excited to get home to set up a timelapse.
I got home just in time to catch the early morning magic from my back yard. The unusually calm water reflected the colours of the sky while I basked in the beauty of the moment.
It didn’t last long, but I was happy to finally slip into my own dream land and get some rest, while simultaneously going on my next adventure. The only downfall being that I would likely forget it all by the time I opened my eyes again.
I miss my dreams! For at least a few years now, I haven’t been able to remember my dreams. I’m pretty sure that I’m still dreaming, because once in a while I’ll wake up sweaty, heart pounding, and a little confused. I’m pretty sure it’s from having a nightmare that I can’t remember after waking up. Strange.

comeback part 2

part two :)

You know what I hate the most aside from myself? Laying on the hospital bed for ages. I hate being in the hospital

But what can I do? I have no choice. The medicines aren’t working anymore. I’m dying. Everything hurts. They said that it’s just the sides of effects of the medicines. How can it be the side effects of the medicines if it’s not working anymore? It’s not the side effects of the medicines, it’s the side of having a broken heart.

When everything hurts, but what hurts the most is the thought of him. By just saying his name hurts, whenever I think of him, I just hurt myself even more. It’s been a year and i’m still crazy, madly, deeply in love with him. What i’m feeling for the past 12 months or so hurts more than Cancer.

When we found out that I have Cancer, I don’t honestly know how to tell everyone. Specially Matt. I never really got a chance to tell him. And by now, I don’t want him to know. He doesn’t even care about me anymore

I think i’m unbelievable crazy. I’m dying and all that I can think of is Matt.

“Hey honey, how are you?” My mom asked

“dying” her smile suddenly turned upside down. now this is the side effect of dying. pushing everyone out of my life.

“Oh don’t say that! You’re gonna live a long and happy life!”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Please be positive honey. Do you want anything?”

“Yeah I do”

“What is it?”

“I’m so tired of being here. Can we leave this place? For a day or two? That would be amazing mom” I smiled at her trying to get my hopes up even though I know that she won’t agree.

“I don’t know honey. It’s not safe. But if that will make you happy, I’ll consult your doctors right now”

“really? as in really right now?”

“yes right no! is it okay if I live for a moment?”

“It’s fine mom”

“Okay bye hun, just press the button beside you if you need anything” mom left, I reached for

my phone. Matt’s fans never did leaved my notifications on twitter.  My last tweet was months ago, and by means they know what happened to matt and I’s relationship. But not my situation.

My family kept it private. They got body guards, they talked to the hospital manager and stuff. They never let any visitors too. Except for the closest family members.

And just to inform you, i’m not super skinny. I’m not bald. I’m far from bald. I just look like a normal me which is paler and a bit skinnier. It’s actually a miracle that I don’t look like a total wreck.

The other boys sometimes called me or text me. Sometimes it’s Matt who calls me. I’m not gonna lie. Hearing his voice makes my heart break but still, it makes my heart flutter in happiness.

But aside from my family, only Cam knows about my sickness.

When I left the magcon tour, I asked him drive me to the airport because I have no one at that time, he’s the very first person that I saw when I came out of Matt and I’s room.

I was crying so hard at the airport. There were fans who followed us. But no matter who is there at that time, it didn’t matter, I can’t stop crying and that causes my lungs to filled with water and stuff.

Cam didn’t called the other boys because he was also shocked when he knew. He called my parents, my parents thanked him and now he’s the only friend of mine who can visit me.

“hey y/n, I talked to your doctors. It’s amazing that they said yes!”

“really? that’s great! When can we leave?”

“We can leave now if you want”

“Now would be amazing mom”

“Where do you wanna go? You think okay? I’m just gonna pack and the nurse will be here in 10 minutes”

“Okay mom”

There’s just so many places to go Paris, Amsterdam, California, Italy etc

I can’t choose. I just wanna go home

“Mom? I just wanna go home” my mom smiled then minutes after a nurse came in, removing the wires and things on me

——-

“Welcome back madame! We’re all happy to see you again” One of our maids said

“Thank you, i’m also glad to finally see you again”

“there’s loads of letters to you madame. It’s in your room.”

“letters? from who?”

“I’d rather not tell. That person kept on coming back here everyday for the past 4 months since you left this house. That person delivers the letters by himself.”

“Oh okay. Thank you. I’ll be heading to my room.”

I opened my room and saw that nothing changed. Matt and I’s pictures are still on my wall. I removed a picture. Then another one, and then another one. But why does it feel this way? It feels wrong.

 I miss the times when we were happy. The only memory that I have with Matt is these pictures and the necklace that he gave to me. I’m still wearing it. I taped back the pictures and sat on my bed.

It’s full of envelopes. it’s all hand written. It’s all from Matt.

I opened one of the letter. Matt wrote it on February 4. The day after I left.

Dear y/n

     i’m sorry. I’m so sorry If i said that i don’t love you. Hell, I love you with every single breath that I take. I don’t want to leave you. But I have too. Scarlet is sick. She’ll kill herself without me. She’ll also hurt you if I don’t leave you. I’m sorry. I know that saying sorry isn’t enough.

When I saw you at the sea, I don’t know if you’re trying to kill yourself. I was so scared. you were at the middle of the sea and I didn’t think that you noticed it. I don’t know how to face you after I said those things to you. When you broke down crying and begged me to comeback and to stay, I wanna break down too. But I don’t wanna break down in front you. It’ll make things worse.

     God knows that I don’t wanna leave you. I don’t even wanna walk away from you that day. But I did. I’m such a jerk. I’m an idiot. Please forgive me. Call me please. I’m going insane.

     When you were packing your things, I just wanna hug you and tell you to stay. The scrapbook that you made for me is beautiful. It had me in tears. I don’t know how to continue this anymore. I also sent you an enormous teddy bear because you always wanted one right? I love you

-matt

I put the canola on. I can’t breathe anymore. I was crying so damn hard. He fucking loves me. But he’s such an idiot. Fuck myself for having Cancer. Fuck myself for not being here when Matt was here for almost every single day.

I read Matt’s letter’s one by one until there’s only one left. And it really shatters me.

 

Dear y/n,

     I found out that Scarlet isn’t really sick. I wanna kill myself. I’m such a fool. I just wanna let you know that we’re getting married. It all turned out that they set it all up. Y/N i’m ready to cancel the wedding for you. Just tell me that you love me and everything can turn back to the way it was before. I sent you an invitation for the wedding. But incase that you don’t love me anymore, you’re still free to go there. I don’t even know where you are. There’s not a day that I don’t worry about you. Never left my mind. Always remember that you’re the only one that I wanna marry. I love you so much Y/F/N that will never change no matter who you are with or no matter who i’m with. I love you to the moon and back.

-matt

I took the wedding invitation. I prayed to God that it’s not over yet.

June 21, 2015, 11 am at St. Michael’s Parish

I looked at the Calendar. today is June 21. I looked at the time and it’s 11:30

I need to make it. I need to see him.

I grabbed my oxygen and car keys of my Lamborghini which was miraculously in my room and dashed out to my car.

“Okay now, I need to put my shit together. Just for this day”

I drove as fast as I could. I don’t care if cops will run after me. nothing matters anymore. by the time that I got to the Church, the bells was already ringing. I parked the car in front of the door and hopped out.

His hair is a bit long, his eyes looks cold. He greeted the guests with a sad smile plastered on his face. His bride looks so pretty and happy.

I’m late. I didn’t make it. Here I am, looking at my newly wedded ex boyfriend that i fucking love.

I noticed that the  magcon boys already saw me. They all looked shocked except for Cam. He always say to me that I should tell everybody that I have Cancer.

“Y/n? you came…” Our eyes met. I couldn’t say a word. It’s been a year since the last time that I saw him in person. It’s like my whole world stops revolving and rotating. Not just because he’s right in font of me, it’s because he’s married.

“Congratulations…Mathew…Scarlet” I hopped in side of my car and drive away as fast as I could. I didn’t realized how fast I was gong and how far I was until I can feel that I couldn’t breathe. I stopped the car and put the canola in my nose.

I don’t wanna hurt myself but it’s funny where I am right now.

Matt and I celebrated our 1st year anniversary in a cabin near the lake in the forest. We would just watch the stars all night long. It’s amusing that i’m here right now.

 

I parked the car on the side and walked to the Cabin. The cold air touches my skin reminding me of how cold it was when Matt and I camped out here. I lay on the grass near the lake and just stare at the stars. We would talk about how crazy life is or how we want our wedding to be or how many kids do we want.

we love to talk about those kind of things. It’s crazy how I really think we’d end up together. Life’s full of surprises.

 

“You’re back” A voice from behind said. I don’t even need to turn around to see who it was. Matt laid down beside me, He’s still in his suit so I assumed he followed me.

“How did you find me?”

“instincts. I went everywhere just to find you. don’t you know how late it is? It’s a 3hour drive just to get here Y/n don’t tell me that you didn’t noticed” I looked at my watch and it’s 12:34pm but when I got here it’s only 7pm. I didn’t even realized.

“Please go away”

“Never”

“Okay then, I’ll leave”

“Stay” He held  my hand and some what electricity passes through my skin down my spin. With a single touch he can make me insane “Care to share everything that happened?”

“No”

“Don’t be stubborn. Please. Why didn’t you texted me? You were literally gone. You didn’t contacted anyone. You never tweet or open your facebook account. I was dead worried. Did you even read my letters?”

“yeah. I just read your letters earlier.”

“I’m sorry for everything”

 

“You killed the light inside of me. ”

 

“I’m a horrible person. Can I ask you something?”

 

“yeah”

 

“Did you go to the wedding because you wanna stop it?”


 

“yeah I did. The moment that I read the invitation, I rushed to the church thinking that I’ll made it in time. I’m such an idiot thinking that we could get back together. Imagine if I wasn’t late? What if I stopped you from marrying Scarlet? I’ll only hurt you. My life is not gonna last long. I never did had the chance to tell you that I have cancer. I’m gonna die Matthew. You deserve someone better and healthier”

 

“I don’t want anyone. I want you. You’re not gonna die. We’re gonna get trough this together” he interwined his hands to mine

 

“Are you crazy? You’re married Matthew”

 

“I don’t care. I’m gonna file divorce as early as I can!”

 

“Matt i’m dying. Don’t do that. I want you to be happy”

 

“I’m only happy when I’m with you!”

 

“You don’t understand Matt! My system is very weak. If I’m gonna die right now, it’s alright because you’re here with me.”

 

“Don’t say that. I love Y/F/N more than anyone else can. I’m such an asshole. I love you more than I love myself. I love you with every second of my life. It was like hell. I know that I don’t deserve you but I’m only happy whenever you’re around!”

“But I’m dying! I’m literally dying!”

“Dying or not I still love you and nothing in this world can ever change that!”

“You’re fucking married! God knows how much I love you but you’re married matt. You should be there with here but you’re with me!”

“I don’t care if I’m married! I’m gonna file divorce as early as I could.  Just wanna be with you. I need you. I need you to comeback!”

“You’ll only hurt yourself. You can’t be with me. I’m very weak. I’m gonna die soon. Maybe today or tomorrow or next week. I’m hopeless Matthew.”

“We can. If you want too. Dying or not I still love you. Nothing in this world can change what I feel about you”

“I love you Matthew. Always remember that”

“I love you too.”

“Remember when we used to watch the stars together? I miss those times”

“Me too. Whenever I got lonely, I go here. Thinking that one day you’d be here. I visit your house every now and then. That’s how desperate I am”

“I’m sorry. For being sick””

“Don’t be. No one wants you to be sick. Come here” Matt hugged me. I fell hot tears on my shoulders. He’s crying and I’m crying too. I haven’t hugged him in ages. I miss him so much.

I lay on his chest, talking about life. Just like the old days. He made me forget about cancer. He made me forget that he’s married. It feels like he’s the only one that matters.

“I’m so happy Matt”

“Me too.”

“I’m contented right now. I think… I think I’m just gonna rest for a while. I’m tired of the pain.” I know. I know that right now is my time.

“Yeah sure baby girl. I bet you’re tired”

“I love you so much. Good bye” forever

 

“Good bye? What?” I pressed my lips on his and hugged him for the very last time

 

“I love you” I closed my eyes in to a deep deep sleep. I know that it’s my time. Good bye.

 

MATT’S POV

“Y/n? wake up Y/n! Wake up” I shake her but she wasn’t waking up. Her breathing became slower and slower. Immediately picked her up and put her in the car.

“Hold on Y/n you’re gonna make it” I drive as fast as I could. When I reached the nearest hospital, they put many wires on her. They tried and tried. But when the doctor came out with a sad smile. I know that she’s gone

 

“I’m sorry”

“NO! TRY AGAIN. SHE’S A FIGHTHER.”

“I’m very sorry”

“IF YOU DON’T WANNA BELIEVE ME THAN I’LL DO IT MYSELF”

“We called her parents. You can come in to see her if you want”

.

I broke down crying. I entered the room and there she is. She’s still beautiful. I hugged her. I kissed her forehead.

“Please wake up. Don’t play jokes on me. It’s not funny anymore. Wake up please I’ll never leave again”

I looked at her face. She only looks like she’s sleeping.

“I love you so much. Please comeback. Comeback y/n. Comeback.” Here I am, with the love of my life. She left me for good and there’s no one to blame but me. She told me years ago that she wanna die with me by her side. And she really did it. I wish this is all a dream. I want her to comeback. y/n please comeback

anonymous asked:

could you please please please make some sort of playlist of your fave songs? :)

ok so i spent about half an hour on this and i still probably missed some but here is a compilation of my favs of all time (feel free to suggest any songs u like that u think i might like!!) :-)

- arcadia – the kite string tangle
- modern jesus – portugal the man
- paris – magic man
- mr blue – the fleetwoods
- i will follow you into the dark – death cab for cutie
- tell me – golden features
- a-punk – vampire weekend
- bloom – the paper kites
- am/fm sound – matt and kim
- the moon song – Karen o
- pon de replay – rihanna (CMON I LOVE THIS ONE)
- under cover of darkness – the strokes
- young folks – peter bjorn and john
- pumped up kicks – foster the people
- bigger boys and stolen sweethearts – arctic monkeys
- electricity – arctic monkeys
- cigarette smoke – arctic monkeys
- cigarette daydreams – cage the elephant
- she moves in her own way – the kooks
- 17 – youth lagoon
- gold snafu – sticky fingers
- blackbird – the beatles
- silent movies – madison ward and the mama bear
- static lines – the creases
- come as you are – nirvana
- thinkin bout you – frank ocean
- dreamers – hopium
- talking like im falling downstairs – sparkadia
- yellow brick road – angus and Julia stone
- genesis – grimes
- bohemian rhapsody – queen
- i wanna dance with somebody – whitney Houston (ICONIC)
- irreplaceable - beyonce
- heavy feet – local natives
- luna – bombay bicycle club
- tamale – tyler the creator
- there is a light that never goes out – the smiths
- angels – the xx
- rivers and roads – the head and the heart
- elevate – st. lucia
- seasons – future islands
- teenage girls – bleeding knees club
- see you again – miley cyrus
- we sink – chvrches
- take a walk – passion pit
- mr. brightside – the killers
- m+m’s – blink-182
- walk away – franz ferdinand
- the stars keep on calling my name – mac demarco

PART 2 - "THE LOFT"

The Loft

START READING HERE : 

http://teachergilinsky.tumblr.com/post/110020115987/prologue-the-loft-magcon-fanfic

PART TWO

“Where are we?” I say under my breath while trying to take in everything.

“Welcome to The Loft.” Jack says with a smirk on his face. //

He starts walking towards the elevator in the corner of the parking lot, still carrying my bag and the leftover food from In-n-Out. As I’m walking behind him sipping on my chocolate shake, I start shaking. I can’t tell if I’m shaking because it’s chilly, or because I’m nervous as to what I’m about to walk into.

We finally reach the elevator and get inside. He presses the second floor button.

“(Y/N), are you cold? Here-“ Jack says while taking off his sweatshirt, leaving him completely shirtless.

While he hands me his sweatshirt, I try not to stare at him.

Damn, someone’s been working out more.

“Thanks,” I say quietly.

While we wait for the elevator to reach the second floor, I can feel him staring at me. I try my best not to look back; tonight’s been too intense already.

I hear the elevator bell ring as we finally arrive.

We walk from the elevator straight towards a black double door.

Jack pushes the two doors open in one movement holding them open for me. I take on step inside and instantly hear all the boy’s voices.

I see a chandelier right above me as I walk into an extremely large room consisting of beautiful furniture. One of the walls is just a huge window looking out onto the scenery of L.A. We walk to what seems to be the kitchen, to find all the boys sitting around the island counter eating.

Intruding the boys’ argument, Jack yells,

“Hate to interrupt, but we’re home. What have you guys been talkin-”

The boys immediately stood up and rushed over to me, all trying to hug me at once, overwhelming me with questions such as,

“Where have you fucking been?”

“I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N)”

“How are you doing?”

I hear Jack say,

“Guys, c’mon, give her space. We’ll talk about all that in the morning over breakfast.”

I give Jack a thankful look, and he nods. All the boys sit back down in their chairs.

I walk over to him and take my bag off his shoulder, with all the boys watching me.

“Where am I sleeping?” I ask, automatically regretting it, not knowing whom really to speak to considering there are 11 boys in the room right now.

All of them just look at each other, without responding to me.

Finally, Matt speaks up and says,

“Well, you already have your own room. But you can sleep wherever you feel comfortable. If you want to sleep in any of our rooms, feel free.” I can hear the nervousness in his tone.

My own room?

“Okay, well, why don’t you show me where it is?” I ask.

“Alright, we’ll be right back.” Matt says to everyone in the room while taking my bag.

I know it’s polite, but Jesus. I can carry my own bag.

I can feel the tension in the room as we walk towards a spiral staircase that leads up the 3rd floor.

Matt and I were always close, before I left. We flirted very often though, and I had a huge crush on him in the beginning. But I knew it was better to stay friends.

I walk up the stairs behind him. From the staircase, you are able to see the entire floor at one glance. The floor includes 12 rooms, one after another, forming a rectangle shape. 

(I don’t really know how to describe the 3rd floor, so just imagine it like the 2nd floor of the picture below. Except in the story, all the furniture and walls are black and white. SO BASICALLY JUST LOOK AT HOW IT’S BUILT OK, OK. CARRY ON)

I noticed that each room has a nameplate on the door, as to whose room it is.

After walking past 7 rooms, we finally stopped at mine. Matthew turned the knob and held the door open, waiting for me to walk in first.

I almost gasp while examining how gorgeous everything inside this room, my room, is. It fits me so well. There’s a huge bookcase on one wall that holds at least 200 books. There’s a record player too, with some of my favorite records. A large flat screen TV hanging from the wall across from my bed. My bed is black and white. I can see that the sheets are silk. There’s also a mini-fridge in the corner by my bed. There’s a window seat on the other side of the room, which has the same lookout of L.A. as the one downstairs.

I can’t believe I have my own room here. It was made just for me. God, they know me so well.

“Do you like it?” Matt asks me while scanning the room and setting my bag down.

“Are you kidding? This is like the room every girl wants. I can’t believe you guys did this; you guys didn’t have to do all this-

“Of course we did. (Y/N), we’ve really missed you. I’ve missed you.” He says while making eye contact.

“I’ve missed you too, Matt. I just needed space; it’s overwhelming with you guys sometimes. But I want everything to go back to normal.”

“(Y/N), things are far from normal.” Matt chuckles, but still in a serious tone.

“What do you me-“

Matt interrupts, “We’ll talk about it in the morning. Are you tired?”

“There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep any time soon. Let’s just go back downstairs.” I start walking out the door, and he follows.

He shuts the door behind me.

As we walk back downstairs, I see Cameron making pancakes while all the other guys get drinks out on the table.

Pancakes at 3 a.m.? I am so down.

“I want mine with chocolate chips!” I say loudly as I sit on the counter near the fridge.

I hear Cameron laugh and say,

“I’m glad those are still your favorite because I already put chocolate chips in the batter.”

I’m so glad things have lightened up a bit.

Chill music is playing throughout the house, and I hear Jack Johnson say

“Guys, do you remember this song?”

*Mr. Brightside by The Killers starts playing*

I scream, “OH MY GOSH THIS USED TO BE LIKE MY FAVORITE SONG!”

Most of the boys reply with, “Believe me, we know. You had it on repeat for like two weeks!”

We all start singing along with the lyrics, still remembering all the words.

God, I’ve missed this so much.

After the song is over, Cam brings a big plate of pancakes to the table as we all sit down.

I sit between Jack G and Nate.

Nate hands me what seemed like plain Orange Juice, when I say

“Oh, that’s got a kick to it,” while laughing quietly.

“Yep, welcome back. Missed you.” He laughs and brings me in for a hug.

“I missed you too, Nate.”

I haven’t felt this wanted in so long.

After sitting there for a second and waiting for everyone to sit down, we all start eating and talking about all the memories.

“Oh God, remember that time we accidently stole that car?” I hear Johnson say to Gilinsky.

“I still can’t believe we got out of that!” Jack says while bursting out laughing.

After talking about all those great moments, we all quiet down and just kind of have our own little separate conversations, instead of a huge group discussion like before. I started talking across the table to Shawn about how I thought his last song, A Little Too Much, was amazing.

I get up to go get more orange juice when I see a girl in her bra and underwear walk down the spiral stairs while saying,

“Babeeeee, come back to bed,” slurring her words.

Not even worried about who she was speaking to, I look towards the table and see Jack G pissed and saying to the boys,

“Are you fucking kidding? I told you guys to get them all out before I came back with (Y/N).”

The girl walks over to me, starts drinking my drink and asks,

“You’re breaking one of the rules, you know.”

She starts pulling the hem of Jack’s sweatshirt, trying to take it off me.

“Um, excuse me.” I say trying to back up away from her.

I see Sammy get up and pull her away. He tells her to go get her clothes on and leave, and to not come back.

I see the boys looking at each other, not knowing what to do, muttering things to one another. I’m still standing in the kitchen, confused and getting agitated, waiting for someone to explain.

Why am I getting mad? Of course they would have a girl or two over. But Jack said ‘all’ of the them, meaning there was multiple. And what rules was that girl talking about? I don’t think I even want to know.

“(Y/N), you should sit down for this.” I hear Matt say from the dinner table.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: Okay, sorry for the late update! The next chapter/part is going to be different; I don’t think you guys have a clue about what is going to happen. Anyways, if I get enough requests, I will post another part tonight. Either way, there will be one up tomorrow. Hope you guys are enjoying it! Much love x

-T

PART THREE

Chapter Twenty Six ~Make Cameron Jealous

Image for the chapter:

*Addi’s PoV*

Nash had just left and I was about to start getting ready. I was meeting up some of the other boys today. We all decided that we needed to talk about what was going on, and how things were changing, if they were changing at all. Nash was going to come back over after he got ready.

I walked up the stairs and into my large bathroom and turned on my shower before taking off the clothes that I had slept in on the couch. I stepped into the shower and smiled as the hot water rolled over my shoulders and down my back and the rest of my body. I let out a sigh that I didn’t know I was holding in. I let my mind start to wander to the events of the previous few days. The lack of communication I had been having with Cameron, and the fact that hanging out with Nash was the best part of my day. I wanted things t be back to normal, whatever that meant anymore.

I did all my normal shower things before I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and my hair. I opened the bathroom door and headed into my large bedroom. As the cool air hit my body, I felt goosebumps go across my exposed skin. I walked downstairs to grab my phone, as I knew I left it plugged in near the couch. I walked downstairs and grabbed it before heading back upstairs.

I saw I had a text message from Cameron.

Hey, so my mom wants to do dinner Friday night at her house with both of us. Does that work for you?
Reading the text made me smile. I moved my fingers across my screen quickly sending out a reply to him.
Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll for sure be there.
I started to play music from my phone while I waited for a answer back. My phone went off about five minutes after I sent the text. I wondered if we were going to talk about things before then, or if he just wanted to act like it never happened. Which I guess I could, no matter how much it killed me. I wanted things to be back to how they were before.
Cool, we need to talk before then. How about tomorrow or Wednesday?
I was glad that also wanted to talk about what happened.  I answered the text and then took off my towel and put on a pair of cotton shorts and a random tshirt that I was pretty sure was one of the boys. I either took it from someone when we were on Magcon tour and I was visiting or they left it here at some time.
Either works for me. You’re the one with the crazy ass schedule.

I’ll text you when I find out what day works for me better. Then I’ll pick you up and we can get coffee and then go sit around at some park and talk about things…Sound good? :)

As much as I wanted things to go my way, and have him say the things I wanted him to say, I would honestly just be happy to be spending time with him again. Just the two of us. And maybe if we were both okay after talking we could the movie night that we had wanted to do, and talked about while in NYC.
Yeah, that sounds great :) See you then babe
I called him babe like I always did. I thought that it might help on the way to making things normal again. Not weird between us. But honestly I think this was harder on him then it was on me. He was the one who had to think about it and was acting a bit off since it happened.
Can’t wait xx
There’s the old Cameron I used to know back. He would always end conversations about random things with xx.

I put my phone down on the counter as I started to brush through my long and wet hair. I decided that I would let my hair air dry as much as possible.

I grabbed my makeup from the drawer that it was always in and I started to do my normal makeup routine for any given day. Quickly finishing up that, I decided that while I was waiting on my hair to try I would try and figure out what to wear today. I grabbed my phone and checked the temperature and saw that it was only in the 70s today. So if I really wanted to wear pants I could and not to be hot if I went outside today.

I grabbed a pair of basic skinny jeans with a few rips here and there. I put it on my bed and then went back into my closet to try and find a shirt that I wanted to wear. I ended up grabbing my simple gray tshirt that had a cocacola emblem on the front in white print. It would look cute for the day. I wasn’t planning on doing anything to important today to be honest. Just meeting with the boys. Nothing I had to be that cute for. I quickly pulled out a pair of black shorty socks and threw them on the bed with my jeans and tshirt. I could feel my hair was entirely dry now.

I headed back into the bathroom and I got out my straightener, and quickly pulled it through my long, thick, brown hair. I looked in the mirror and smiled at what my hair and makeup looked like. It was a good face and hair day. Maybe I would go out and do something today afterall.

I put on the necklace that Cameron gave me before putting on my outfit for the day.

I looked in the mirror once I was ready for the day and a smile spread across my face. I looked pretty cute today. Maybe I would go shopping or something later if the boys didn’t want to stay late. I quickly sprayed a bit of perfume and then headed out of my room and down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grabbed a apple to eat, since I hadn’t eaten yet today. I wondered what time the guys would be over at my house. It had over a hour already. I grabbed my phone and went to snapchat and took a few selfies to post to my story. The first was of just me and then the next one was of me and the apple and ‘stay healthy kids’ as the caption. I walked over to my full length mirror and took a picture and posted it with the caption 'feeling cute today’.

The boys showed up about 10 minutes after posting the selfies.

“Want anything to drink?” I ask Gilinsky and Johnson as they get into the house. “Water?” they both ask. I get two water bottles and hand them to them.

“So this is it?” I ask. Gilinsky, Johnson, Nash, Sam, Matt and I were all sitting in the living room in my basement. “Yeah.” Nash says.

“Has anyone heard anything about it from Cameron?” I ask. Gilinsky and Johnson say what happened last night when they were hanging out with him, and the ways he was acting. After they told me that they were with him, I realize that there isn’t much to talk about. Nash and I would continue to try and make him jealous, and see how that worked. But we eventually had to stop, we couldn’t do it forever.

“How long are we gonna keep up this?” I ask. “What do you mean?” Nash asks.

“The whole thing. Making him jealous. Or trying?” I ask. “I’m not sure. We need to end it at some time. But I don’t know when. Obviously if one of us find someone else then we have to stop.” he says. “Yeah, if you find someone else we will stop don’t worry.” I say, smiling at them.

“I’m meeting with him either tomorrow or the next day. And then I have dinner with him on Friday.” I say. They all smile and nod their heads.

“I think we need to play up the flirt again guys.” I say. “How?” Matt asks. “I’m not sure.” I answer, truthfully.

“I might have something…” Sam says, adding to the conversation. My eyes go to him. “And?” I ask.

“How about you have Nash leave something at your place, insinuating that he was here recently. And then you can text him while with Cameron. Obviously not enough to be rude about it. But still text him. And Nash next time you’re all together play it up. Hug her alot. Act like you want to be touching her all the time.” he says. I nod my head taking it all in. “That just might work. He doesn’t know that I was with her last night and he doesn’t know that I’m with her today either.” Nash says.

“Wait you were together last night?” Matt asks. “Yeah, we were hanging out with Madi and Mike and then we hung more and we both fell asleep on the couch.” Nash says. “Awesome. Then you don’t even have to lie about leaving something here while you were here last over night. Just forget something. Maybe before they get together to talk.” Sam says.

“I have a sweatshirt in the Jeep that I can bring inside and leave somewhere.” Nash says. We continue to talk about other random things, that had nothing to do with Cameron at all.

“You have anything planned today?” Gilinsky asks me. I shake my head no. “You care if we all chill here? We all missed hanging out together.” he asks. “I don’t care. But shouldn’t we invite Cam?” I ask, still wanting to be around him. “He was leaving the same time I was. He has plans.” Nash says. “Oh okay.” I say. We all continue to sit around.

“Anyone want to go get some food with me?” I ask. “I’ll go.” Matt says, getting up from the couch. “We’ll be right back with some food. How does Mexican sound for everyone?” I ask. “Good.” they say.

“Taco bell?” I ask. “Of course.” Gilinsky says, exagerating the end of the word. “Text me what you all want and I’ll get it.” I say. “GOT IT!” Nash says, pulling his phone out. “Ready Matt?” I ask. We head upstairs and we get into my car.

We start to head towards Taco Bell. “Anything new with you?” I ask Matt. “No not really. Went home for a few days, that was nice. Got to see all my old friends.” he says. “That has to be nice.” I say. “Yeah, it really is.” he says.

We had just gotten back to the house and were all starting to eat the tacos that I got for everyone. Luna was rubbing herself against Sams legs while he sat on the couch and ate his tacos. “Addi, why doesn’t she leave me alone?” he asks. “She thinks that you have something for her.” I answer, taking a sip of the pop that I got. He shook his head as he looked down at her. I heard a soft meow come from her and we all laughed.

“She likes you.” I say. “At least one girl likes you.” Matt says, laughing, causing the rest of us to laugh.

“Wait guys…” I say, looking at my phone. Slightly upset at what I was seeing in front of me. “What?” Sam asks, looking at me. I hand him my phone. “Is everything okay?” Gilinsky asks leaning towards Sam to see my phone screen easier. “What’s wrong?” Nash asks, looking at my phone when Sam handed it back to me. I look at him, not sure what to say, or do, or feel.

So what did you think of this chapter? What do you think Addi sees on her phone?

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anonymous asked:

Hi Louise! I hate to ask such a personal and maybe uncomfortable question but are you and Matt still together? I'm asking this because people are getting in fights in the comment section of one of Matts new posts and my friends and I are extremely confused. Did we miss something? Other than that thank you for your time and We all love you lots no matter what! 😘😊🙆🏼💛💗

Hi, I’m going to address this a few more times because I feel like people don’t know and so keep asking about it and I would love for everyone to just know, accept and move on.


Yes. Matt and I split up mid 2014. We announced it March 2015 so that we could have a solid chunk of time to get over it in private etc. I’m sorry to anyone who is upset by this. We tried very hard for many years to make it work but we are just very different people. We still spend time together with Darcy and we wish each other well with our new lives. 


xxx

PART 1 - “THE LOFT: SEQUEL”

PART 1

Jack Gilinsky’s POV:

I feel someone poking me on my bare chest, “Daddy, I’m hungry.”

I open my eyes to see my adorable daughter staring me in the face standing at my eyelevel, leaning against the bed.

“Really baby? It’s only six in the morning,” I sit up in bed and put my feet on the cold wooden floors, kissing her forehead.

“How long have you been awake?” I ask her while tucking some of her long, messy hair behind her shoulders, as I would her mother.

“I don’t know, ” she shrugs, “I didn’t really sleep.”

I frown, “Aw babygirl, you’re just like your mom. Why didn’t you come and sleep with us?”

She shrugs again, “You just got home from being away with Uncle Jack, singing and stuff, and I knew you were tired.”

How is my seven year old so careless about herself? Wonder where she gets that from, too.

At that moment, I hear (Y/N) wake up and yawn. Looking over to us, she says, “Well good morning.” Picking up my daughter and setting her on my lap, I reach over and kiss (Y/N) on the lips, “Morning babe.”

“Anyways, as I was saying. Allison, don’t ever feel like you can’t come wake me up. You’re my first priority, you and your mother will always come first. If you can’t sleep, I’ll read to you or just stay up with you until your pretty little blue eyes fall asleep. Okay?” I brush my thumb on the soft skin of her cheek.

“Okay daddy, I will next time,” she smiles and reaches her small arms around my neck to hug me.I look over at (Y/N) and see her smiling at me. Ally gets off of me and slides off the bed, “Let’s go make pancakes with those chocolate things in them!”

(Y/N) and I get off the bed and follow our running daughter to the kitchen.When we reach the kitchen of our house, we start cooking pancakes and preparing an early breakfast.

(Y/N)’s POV:

After breakfast was over, I got Ally dressed and ready for the day as Jack cleaned up the kitchen. Allison had a play date today, and then Johnson would pick her up later to go teach her how to play the piano, they bond so well together.

After we all moved out of the loft a few years ago, we all continued on with our futures, following our dreams, etc. Jack and I got married a couple years ago, yes we were young, but why wait if we were already completely in love with each other? What’s the point?

I still don’t speak to either of my parents much.

After getting Ally ready for her day, I go to Jack and I’s bedroom to get dressed. I put on a sweater and some ripped, high-wasted shorts, and go to the mirror on my wall to see if my outfit looks okay together when I feel Jack come behind me, and wrap his arms around me.“You look great, babe,” he says, coming around my face to kiss my cheek.

His hair is damp from a shower and he’s only wearing a towel, “I could say the same for you.”

He laughs, “What are your plans for today? I have to go to the studio for a bit with Nate later,” I sigh, and he continues again with, “I know, I know. I just got back. But after that, I shouldn’t be busy and I’m all yours tonight. Maybe Ally can stay the night with Johnson again and it can be just us?” he grins.

The excitement of having alone time with Jack makes my stomach turn, it’s been so long since we’ve.. “Okay, I’ll talk to Jack about it. He loves spending time with her, so I’m sure he’d be down to do it. Plus, Sammy will be there, too, and he loves Allison.” He nods, “Everyone loves our babygirl. Just like they did with her mom,” he winks.

I swat his shoulder, “Oh, shut up. No but after I run Ally around a bit today, I’m going to meet up with Matthew, he just finished his first movie and I want to congratulate him.”

He rolls his eyes, “Alright. Tell him I say hey though, and that he’s welcome to come over anytime. I miss that idiot.”

“Me too,” I reply.

I haven’t seen Matthew in months, we still call and text to check up on each other, we all do. It’s just weird being away from him for this long at a time.

Jack frowns a little, after noticing, I say, “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, “Nothing, it’s just.. the Matt thing.”

“You still get jealous? Babe, we’ve been through this a million times. Matt’s my best friend. We’re just going to grab some lunch and he’ll want to see Ally, too. But that’ll just have to wait for another day.”

He nods, “Yeah, you’re right. You’re all mine, and he knows that,” he runs his finger over my wedding ring and smiles.

“Of course. Plus, I’m sure he has a girlfriend or something now, he’s traveled like crazy."Jack’s worry drops from his face as he walks into the closet to get some clothes on for himself.

I follow him in, kiss him goodbye, and take Allison to her play date before going to meet up with Matthew.

1 hour later

Matt’s POV:

I’m on my way to go have lunch with (Y/N), and I haven’t seen her in almost three months. We’ve kept in touch, obviously. But what she doesn’t know, is that I finished my movie about a month and a half ago. I’ve just stayed away from her, because I’m still in love with her, and I would never be able to tell her that. I needed to try to get over her, for myself. And I think I have, being away from her was the best for me. I stopped answering phone calls because the sound of her voice still makes my heart jump, so I just stuck to texting her. But if her voice does that to me, I have no idea what’s going to happen when I see her face to face.

The idea of seeing her makes my heart race.

As I step out of the car, I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants and walk inside the café.

I look around the small restaurant as the smell of coffee surrounds me.

And I see her.

She looks as beautiful as ever, and her eyes widen and a large smile appears on her face when she sees me.

I walk over to her as she stands to give me a hug, "Matt!"She unwraps her arms from my neck, and sits back down in her seat across from me.

"How are you?” I ask, unable to look away from her eyes that literally take my breath away as they always have.

“I’m good, how are you? How was the movie?” she asks excited, sipping her coffee.

I love how she sincerely wants to know, she’s not just trying to make small talk.

“It was great, when the movie premiers, you better be there,” I smirk.

She rolls her eyes, “Duh!”

We both start laughing when a waitress comes to us and lets us order our food.

While waiting for our food, (Y/N) starts with, “Jack said hey, and that you should come over or something sometime. He misses you, and I do too.”

“I miss you guys, too. How’s Allison?”

“She’s doing great, she’s such a cute kid,” (Y/N) says as the waitress brings over our food.

“Well I’d love to see her, I’m not leaving anytime soon so if you guys ever need someone to watch her."She laughs, "She’d like that I’m sure, she loves all you guys. And she’s at Johnson’s with Sammy tonight, if you wanna go over there. Jack’s just teaching her piano, but after that I’m sure they’ll just be watching a movie or something.”

“Alright, I just might do that. But how are you? Seriously? Anything going on in that crazy little mind of yours?” I say before putting a bite of my sandwich in my mouth.

She shrugs, “I mean.. I get sad still. Mainly when Jack’s gone.”

I look across the table at her arms to make sure she hasn’t..

“You know, (Y/N), if you ever need me, I’m still here. No matter what.”

“Same goes to you, Matt."We let up the more serious subjects and start talking about lighter stuff, like how good Shawn’s music is, and how we’re all turning out. We start talking about her, she’s writing a book at home and she talks about Ally.

I feel myself falling for her all over again just by listening to her, and she has no idea.

We hug once before leaving the café, and (Y/N) asks me, "See you tomorrow when I pick her up? You’re going over there tonight right? To Johnson’s?”

I nod, “Yeah, see you tomorrow b-” I cut myself short, thinking I was about to call her babe.

Shit.

She stares at me before turning around and walking away.

(Y/N)’s POV:

Matthew almost just called me babe, or baby, or something. I don’t know.

He looks so happy.

I’m happy, too. Right?

I have Jack, and Ally, everything is working out perfectly.

I just missed Matt, that’s it.

My phone rings, and Jack’s name appears.“Hey baby, you don’t eating with Matt yet?”

“Yeah, I’m leaving right now. Are you done at the studio?” I ask.

“Mhm, headed home now.”

“Alrighty, see you in a bit, love you.”

“Love you,” he replies before hanging up.

I get into my car and head home, listening to my music pretty loud, trying to drown out my overthinking; as usual.

When I walk through the door, I’m greeted by Jack pushing me against a wall and placing his lips on mine harshly.

He pushes his tongue into my mouth and puts his hands on my waist, lifting me up as I wrap my legs around him.

He grabs my hair with one hand and pushes his chest against mine.

I laugh a little, releasing from the intensity, “What was that for?”

He shrugs, “I didn’t get to do that last night, and I missed you, but it’s okay, we can pick this up later,” he sets me back down on the ground.

I whine from the lack of touch, it’s been way too long since we’ve been able to actually be with each other.

He walks towards our bed room and lays down as I ask him, “So how was the studio? You and Nate make anything new?”

He nods, “Yeah, actually, it’s pretty dope. I can’t wait to let you hear it,” he grabs the remote off the nightstand, “How was lunch?”

I nod, laying down next to him in the dark room, after shutting our curtains.“It was good, I’m excited to see Matt’s movie,” I watch as Jack turns on Netflix and wraps his arm around me, bringing me closer to him as I lay my head on his chest.

“Yeah, he’s talented, I’m sure it’ll be great,” Jack runs his fingers up and down my back underneath my sweater.

“So what has he been up to since it’s been over?” Jack asks.

“Well, he just came back home. It just finished,” I reply in a confused tone.

“Um.. that’s weird. Today, Nate told me that the movie was finished like almost two months ago.”

I bring my face up to look at Jack, “You don’t think he would’ve lied about it right? I mean, why would he lie?”

Jack tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and tells me, “Babe, I’m sure it’s nothing. Just ask him, it’s Matt. He wouldn’t lie to you.”

Jack is always reassuring me, and I’m so grateful for that.

But Matt’s still like my best friend.. why wouldn’t he want to see me?

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right."I guess I’ll just have to ask him tomorrow when I pick up Ally.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

PART TWO 

Battle Born. It’s been 3 years. I can’t believe this. This album has a special place in my heart because it changed my life so much. I met wonderful people, I saw The Killers for the first time and met them few times during this tour. The songs helped me through some hard times (pointing at Be Still). 

We had freaking leather jacket, uncle pants, sold out star shirt, impossible to catch anywhere right now. We also had inclement weather, Dave missing the AMEX recording session, Mr. Brightside sequel, Lollapalooza Brasil sick concert, Matt, switch with Marty’s!, Bronnie moments, beautiful covers live, WEMBLEY FUCKING WEMBLEY, GARAGE GIG, Vince t-shirt, golden bolts, chorizo, idk, neon?, barrier walks, whip albums, I’m smiling because I’m happy, Brandon throwing his keyboard into space and STOP FUCKING FIGHTING.

I could say way more but all I want to really say is Thank you for this album. I love you.