i still live with my moms

I CAN RELATE MYSELF TO CREDENCE A LOT. LATELY. AND ALL MY LIFE.


My eyes feel so sore right now for crying 2 hours straight. I had a gigantic fight with my, I might say, super oppressive, controlling, parents about my decision to do postgraduate study abroad. I feel like they will never let me break free or let me try to be at least be independent.

I am a 22 years old still living with my parents, which is something I always ashamed for admitting it. A late bloomer. I have social anxiety. Most people moved out their house when they were 18, but my mom still takes me everywhere I go even when I’m going out hanging out with my friends. I don’t like that idea so, SO MUCH.

I live in a pretty conservative country that makes my entire family believe that worshipping a religion will guarantee a ‘happy and blissful afterlife’, and for those who choose not to will burn in hell for eternity. I have a very different opinion on that.

I always been an agnostic all my life.

I believe in doing kindness for the sake of humanity. 

I never, ever, despise LGBTQ. They are, indeed, beautiful.

Back to me arguing with my parents for my own decision, my mother ended up pulling my hair and shove me to the floor. She throw things. She pulled out a box cutter and threatened to either I or her will die. I screamed. I cried. Either my mother or I will die today if my brother don’t end the fight.

I ended up locking myself in the bathroom, slightly contemplating about ending my life. I feel all of the repressions inside me soaring, it made me shake uncontrollably.

“I can control it. I can control it.” I muttered repeatedly.

But I survived, once again. Living under my parents’ shadow for once more. Living in my silent protest for freedom and independence.

I love Credence the very moment I saw him on the film. I feel like seeing myself. Someone living under his puritanical, witch-hating ‘mother’. Someone seeking the truth, hence his name. Someone seeking for assurance. An allegory for child abuse, depression, and self-loathing.

My fascination for Credence lead me on making this blog. Credence-loving let me meet a lot of new friends, who also feels the very same as Credence and I. 

At least, in this big, big, world, I’m not the only one.

Thank you for being here with me. For whoever reading up to this point, I love you so much. Let’s survive this manic world. Don’t let anyone define who you are. Please, don’t give up on yourself.

With loads, loads, loads of love,

@getmeoutofthisfandom

anonymous asked:

Confession- i feel like a failure when i see other moms my age talk about the new house they just bought with their so. i still live with my mom with my 2 year old and no where near buying a house. it really freaking sucks.

Things that are not an option:

-going to the police
-going to a shelter

Please stop suggesting these two as options, especially if you’re gonna be condescending as if those haven’t occurred to me. They have, but they are NOT realistic, long term solutions.

I have fled my abuser before and moved three hours away and it did NOT work, I’ve left the house and stayed in shelters and slept in my car. It isn’t a sustainable way of living. I am always coerced into moving back in by my mom and then verbally, emotionally and mentally abused by my stepdad.

I have not lived with my parents this whole time. I was first kicked out at 16 and it has been a cycle of being ill prepared because of my disabilities, failing, them feeling guilty and then that guilt turning into resentment. It’s a trap, I know it, and I still go back every time. I have to break this cycle.

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My names Dan and I’m a 18 year old trans boy. I’m having trouble looking masculine due to the fact I still live with my Mother and haven’t come out yet. I was wondering how could i make myself look more masculine and also I’m getting my haircut short soon and i need some haircut ideas!

I think you look super masculine in the last picture and here’s an idea for a haircut. It’s pretty masculine, but also androgynous enough that you don’t have to answer too many questions from your mom

–Max

upd8

me and my brother are broke, since my mom got sick we’ve been living off of his $8.50/h paychecks. we have so many bills to pay that my mom usually takes care of but since she’s unresponsive and on a ventilator she can’t. we don’t even have access to her bank funds, and she doesn’t have temporary disability insurance. so we’re fucked. i don’t know where i’m even going to be living next month, we’re going to lose the house. but even still knowing all of this, i go to school every day and do my work and make good grades. i keep thinking that this is usually the point where most people drop out of school, give up on their dreams, and get a mediocre 40 hour a week job so they can survive. maybe i’m dumber than these people, but i will never do that. i don’t care if i have to sleep at a homeless shelter and do my homework there, i will still go to school so that i can get accepted into medical school next semester and move to charleston. i will hate myself for the rest of my life if i don’t get into med school and try my hardest there. i will hate myself for the rest of my life if i give up on my dreams.

my brother told me last night not to worry and that no matter what happens he will take care of me and make sure i get through school, he said getting me through school is his only goal. i am so mean to my brother (like little sisters are) but i can’t believe the way he’s stepped up to support me since mom got sick. it really is us against the world. i am so thankful my
mom adopted him and i wasn’t an only child (no matter what i said as an angry teenager lmao). i can never repay him for what he is doing for me right now, it’s only because of him i am still in school. i promise, chris, in 10 years when i’m a rich doctor i will take care of us both. we’ll look back on mom dying, and yeah it will make us said, but we’ll see this crisis as what really made us realize how strong we are.

also a quick message from my muslim friend to the muslim women in america: if you ever feel the need to stop wearing your hijab due to fear of violence, then that’s okay. allah will understand and forgive. i know i’m “just” a german muslim but american muslims shouldn’t have to live through this, it’s unfair and i want you all to be able to show off your religion with pride, BUT YOUR SAFETY COMES FIRST. allah forgives. please remember you are still valid and loved.

I have this headcanon that, like almost all little kids on this planet, Percy wanted a pet when he was little - he still does *coughs*. But he didn’t want a cat or a dog or something normal like that. Percy’s always been weird.

“Mom can you buy me a hammerhead?”

Or something like:

“Do you think an acquarium for a dozen of eels would fit in my room?” (Sally goes like “We live in the Upper East Side, Percy, what do you think?”)

Then, he’s at Camp Half-Blood a few years later and the situation gets pretty worse.

“Hey, um, Chiron. Tiny favour. What about we build some underwater stable for hippocampuses, do you think it’d cost that much?”

Then he’s married.

“Hey Annabeth-”

“NO, PERCY. NO. I DON’T WANT A SHARK.”

“Uh okay just don’t get mad. Just asking.”

Their 8 year old son gifts him a jellyfish for his birthday and Percy cries

2

@why-animals-do-the-thing On the subject of warmth for old cats, I suggested my mom get 16-year-old Merlin a doggie sweater. They live in Florida, but he is old and arthritic and it’s still too cold for him in winter. I gave them some tips about how to introduce the sweater to him, but apparently he took to it right away. He’s always been ten times more relaxed than any other cat I’ve ever known.

Witch Problem (when you still live with your parents)
  • Mom: what are you borrowing buckets upon buckets of my craft supplies for? :)
  • Me: *thinks of how dank my grimoire will look with glitter and fancy stamps* ... Scrapbooking of course
  • Mom: wow, can I see when it's done? :)
  • Me: *flashes back to the sigils I painted on the cover to protect it from wandering eyes* yeah but it could be years before it's finished *hopes she forgets by then*
youtube

This is the best Christmas gift I could receive.
Ultima has a big heart, I feel a bit embarrased, but so, soooo happy the support he gave to me. I’m so glad I can be her friend, because this kind of person really deserve the best things of the world.
I’ll use this money not only for bettter equipment for my animations, I’ll use it for paying the amount the bank requires for buy a house for my mom and I after more than 20 years finding our own home.

Thank you so much for all my Patrons that are helping me a lot too! All of you, you’re making me live my dream and feeling like a worth person who can help her family and bring to them a deserved life. Thank you, thank you so much.

(I’m still having some problems between Paypal and my local Bank Account, but I hope to find a solution soon, by the way, I can receive money there at least for buying some useful stuff for my work via internet. Yayy!!)

FT Parents telling their biological kids that they’re adopted.

Gajevy

Gajeel: You’re adopted.

Gajevy kid: I knew it.

Gajeel: You knew nothing. I lied. You’re grounded.


Jerza

Erza: You’re adopted

Jerza kid: If I kill my biological parents will you guys become my real parents?

Jellal: That’s not how it works.

Erza: But we appreciate the thought.


Miraxus

Laxus: You’re adopted.

Miraxus kid: Can I still live with you?

Mirajane: Yes.

Miraxus kid: Then who cares.


Nalu

Natsu: You’re adopted.

Nalu kid: So like am I a dragon baby? Was my mom a dragon? Did she give birth to me and was like this baby is human! I don’t want this baby! And then you guys came and was like we want dragon baby!

Natsu: Wow. You have your mother’s creativity.

Nalu Kid: My dragon mom’s?


Gruvia

Gray: You’re adopted

Gruvia kid: *cries*

Juvia: You’re not adopted. This was a mistake. This was never funny. *Cries and hold her child*

3

Hometown: Brooklyn

Last seen: on TV’s “Unforgettable,” “Blue Bloods”

Favorite “Ham” moment: “Watching Leslie [Odom Jr., the original Aaron Burr] sing ‘Wait for It.’ Even though he’s gone, it’s still my favorite. No matter what you’re going through, you can find something to relate to in that song.”

Happy holidays: “My mom lives on a mountain in the Catskills. She’s English, so she makes a lamb roast dinner with roast potatoes and cauliflower cheese. And I watch ’The Muppet Christmas Carol’ every year.”

I just feel like all that slow, gradual, painstaking progress we scrimped and saved for over a hundred years was all for nothing. The sense of basic protection is gone.

The Problem with being a Fan
  • Mom: *in our family group to her sisters* during sherlock weeks it's really hard to keep up with Zahra I'm glad sherlock is just three episodes.
  • Them: why? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • Mom: because she just won't stop bragging about how genius that show is to every living thing near her and nobody knows what she's talking about cause nobody watched it.
  • Me: I'm right here mom!
  • My Sister: all I know is that she thinks Sherlock Holmes is gay ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • Them: ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • Me: yup still here btw, Hello!
  • Mom: *to my sister* you should've seen her crying till the end of this week's episode ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • Niece: OMG she's completely obsessed I can't understand how she made a tv show such big deal?
  • My Sister: nobody does! I tried watching the show with my husband and he said this guy is as mad as your sis no wonder why she likes him.
  • Aunt: She NEVER CRIES!
  • Mom: You guys won't believe it, she turned the volume up and Sherlock is screaming "STOP LAUGHING AT ME" OMG
  • Me: well i'm a high-functioning sociopath who's obsessed with things that sound clever and it seems like these walls have higher IQ then anyone near me so I'm talking to them now bye.
  • *Leaves the group chat*

Yamaguchi usually stay overnight at Tsukishima’s house on Christmas Eve.

Tsukki’s mom and Akiteru will decorate their home for Christmas, of course they have big Christmas tree in their living room.

but Yamaguchi still bring his small fake pine tree with him anyway.

Every year (since they were nine,) Tadashi and Kei will decorate it together. instead the star, they’ll put the crescent moon on top of the tree.

Sometime during the second movie they watch together in Tsukki’s room after dinner. Tadashi will say something like ‘Let’s stay awake until midnight! Maybe we can catch Santa Claus!!’

….of course he’ll fall asleep before it past midnight…


…actually… Kei don’t mind at all.

——


part of my @tsukyamgiftexchange for @deanpendragon !!!

sorry for slowness!!😨💦 i have hard time with all the coloring thing, but i also have so much fun to draw them! about the prompt for something in Christmas theme, my country don’t celebrate Christmas. so..sorry again if there’re anything wrong or a bit  strange 💦💦

i LOVE your tsukyam fic and re-read them many many time, so after i know that i have to make a gift for you.. i’m just so SO SURPRISE and then really NERVOUS  💦 💦 💦 i’d try my best and hope you like it! really! 

Merry Late Christmas and wish you a Happy New Year! ✨✨

Okay this is regarding the case where Felix and Marzia found the Trump’s pinata and the creepy-ass mug in front of his door where he said he had already locked the front gate of his LA house. And that means the alleged fan climbed over his gate to put the “gifts” there.

This issue bothered me so much because from what Felix said, someone had already share and pass around his LA address on the internet. And somemore, the first case where a girl jumping in front of his house trying to take pictures while accompany by her mom. This is all so fucking wrong. The fact that Felix and Marzia’s privacy, safety and life are being threaten and disrespected!

I totally understand the urge to meet Felix when he’s so near to you. I understand! Cause that time when he went to Malaysia for his anniversary with Marzia, he is definitely so close to where I live. I mopped, and cried that I wanna go meet him but ffs I still can control my urges not to go invade where they stayed! Because I know that they need their privacy and not for me to go stalk them for a pic just for a few likes on Instagram and FB! I leave them be even tho I know where they are!

This is so not okay. Be respectful of the things that you wanted to do, if you meet him coincidentally on the street, then lucky you! Don’t go barrelling to his , LA home and put creepy stuffs just for the sake of “being a fan”, or “grabbing the chances while he’s here” or “trolling”. It’s not okay.

Please do not only think of yourself. Think about the fear and anxiety Felix and Marzia might go through if this thing keep going on. Seriously, DO NOT ONLY THINK OF YOURSELF.

“I lived without knowing where all of the people from my hometown had scattered. Then, around the time when I was in my fifties, I took my daughters to Yeouido, where there were still banners up after the broadcast of the war-torn family reunions. As I was going past there, I tried to see if there is someone that I knew. From the distance, some woman had walked past me with her two daughters, and somehow I felt that I had seen her face somewhere before. So, I looked back, and she was also looking back at me. We both called out our names, ‘Aren’t you so-and-so?’ Then, we exclaimed, ‘It is you,’ and ran up the street and gave each other a hug. There was such excitement for quite a while. I used to see her with my mom when I still wore pigtails, so it made me think, ‘Oh, you are living like this without your mother too.” Next to us, my friend’s daughters said, ‘We planned on coming the day after tomorrow, but she fussed at us to come today. It looks like she was destined to meet you,’ and they both started crying. They started crying too because us moms were holding on to each other, crying. That’s how I met my friend.”

“고향 사람들 다 어디로 흩어졌는지 모르고 살았어. 그러다 50대 쯤 됐나, 여의도에서 한창 이산가족 상봉 방송한 뒤에 아직 현수막들 붙여져 있을 때 딸 데리고 가봤거든. 혹시 내가 아는 사람 있나 보면서 지나가고 있었어. 저기서 어떤이가 딸 둘 데리고 내 옆을 지나가는데 아무래도 어디서 보던 얼굴이래서 뒤돌아보니까 걔도 돌아보더라고. 그러고 ‘아무개 아니냐’ 둘이 서로 이름을 불렀지. 그랬더니 ‘너 맞구나’ 그러면서 도로 뛰어가 끌어안고 한참동안 난리였었지. 갈라머리하고 다닐 적에 엄마랑 같이 얼굴 보는 사이였는데, ‘아휴, 너도 엄마 없이 혼자 나와서 이렇게 사는구나’ 싶더라고. 옆에 친구 딸들이 ‘엄마가 내일 모레 가기로 했는데, 오늘 가자고 야단을 해서 왔는데 아줌마 만나려고 그랬나 봐요’ 그러면서 딸들도 죄 울어. 엄마들이 붙잡고 우니까 지들도 옆에서 다 울어. 그렇게 친구를 만났지.”