i still laugh at this shit

  • Jinyoung *helping yugyeom and bambam with their math*: so if you have 69 apples left-
  • Yugyeom: *chuckles*
  • Bambam: *laughs very loudly*
  • Jinyoung: i'm done. *throws paper* do it yourself, you little shits
  • Bambam and Yugyeom: *still dying*

in the light of the new comeback and all the leaks and stuff, let us never forget the GREATEST leak in exo’s career. the wolf demo.

justin in a disinterested monotone: I cast prestidigitation and shoot sparks out of my fingers. cast minor illusion put myself in a dope outfit and start walking down the catwalk with all the style and panache I can muster. which is, I should know, a fucking lot.
griffin laughing: yeah roll charisma
justin still in a fucking monotone: oh that– that’s weird I got 30 because it’s so fucking fly. that’s very strange and interesting.

so since bob won the cup with the pens in ‘91 that means he was probably friends with jaromir jagr. obviously jaromir jagr is still playing in the nhl and now jack is playing.

do you think that when they first played each other jack tried to chirp him about being old or whatever and jags was like “remember that stanley cup i won with your dad? i watched you take a shit in it with my own two eyes. shut the fuck up jaques laurent”

when jack called bob to complain bob just laughed until jack hung up.

“Well if I’m going to die it might as well be glorious and make someone laugh in a tavern dammit.”

My level 17 Dwarven fighter I’ve had for ages as he stripped naked with only 24 HP and charged a homebrew demon lord in the center of the nine hells. He lived on the luckiest string of nat 20s ever (three in a row) and stood in the center of hell in the nude. He still gets free drinks and I still use the die that saved my childhood character.

The signs as based off on my friends

Aries: Tiny, tries to fight everyone, very cute, easily angered, would kill if they could reach you.

Taurus: Quiet and shy, observant humor, thinks others are short when they’re like 1 inch taller, anxious.

Gemini: What the fuck hair, actually very funny, loves making others laugh, blushes easily, “i’m not blushing”.

Cancer: Fierce asf even though they’re cute, will love you and hate you in 0.2 seconds, somewhat nervous, cares 100% or -100%

Leo: Smart, amazing with literature, the leader, might be too full of themselves, helps others with the truth.

Virgo: Nice or extremely mean depending on the hour, cute laughter, tall, will probably talk shit but still kinda like you.

Libra: Tall, tries to be hip, annoys people if they have a crush, dad humor, kinda scary but then they don’t do much.

Scorpio: Too full of themselves, tries to be funny but ends up annoying people, but then again sometimes funny, surprisingly caring.

Sagittarius: Short, best hair, complete narcissist, animals are better than humans, adventurous.

Capricorn: Very short, just wants to do the best for others, breaks down when alone only, forgetful, cute.

Aquarius: Tall, really funny, gives the best hugs ever, doesn’t care about your shit, trusts people and is trustworthy. 

Pisces: Very tall like what, good at sports, love to annoy people if they can make them laugh, understanding. 

Okay, I'm fairly new to the fandom so this has probably been done already but

I keep picturing Simon setting up a whole ‘romantic dinner’ thing for Baz (with Penny’s help obvs) but instead of just leaving it be as like a cute little date Simon insists on making garlic bread and setting the table with silver cutlery and all of this other shit that’s supposed to repel vampires, because 'it’s for science’ (and Penny kinda feels like she should argue, but she’s just a curious as he is, and she low-key finds it funny that Simon’s still the same old Simon) and Baz walks in and he just falls around laughing and idk I just,,

Context: In game, I play a Warforge Paladin created by Dwarves. After not having contact with any dwarves for decades, I see one from my home and this happens.

Paladin Warfirged (Me): As I see the dwarf, I run after him and collapse at his feet.

Fm: Wow, okay.

Me (to rest of group): You just see a 300 pound metal robot gayfully stomping to a small dwarf, then collapse at his feet saying “Holy shit, you’re still alive!”

The other players continue to laugh at the mental image.

beyonce is that girl that seems really intimidating bcus shes so pretty and hardworking and talented but then when you finally bring up the courage to talk to her shes a nerd like just constantly tells these corny ass jokes that make herself laugh but literally no one else and shes really geeky like i bet she was really into pokemon go she still plays that shit…beyonce would probably watch steven universe

yknow on the topic of youtubers who fucked up, i will say that while im not upset that we’re all having a good laugh over all the crap jontron said, i still think pewdiepie hasn’t gotten enough shit for making a joke of the phrase “death to all jews” and practically getting away with it with no repercussions

Why Shiro Lost his Shit with Slav

The first time I watched Season 2, I was irritated at how seemingly short Shiro’s temper was with Slav. It was probably for laughs but it felt uncomfortable and forced to me.

The second time I watched it was less uncomfortable with it but still a bit unhappy. I know Space Dad isn’t perfect but things felt out of place. True he has PTSD that he’s internalizing BIG TIME but something was off.

Then it hit me.

Shiro is panicking.

He’s back in a Galra prison, the one place he never ever wanted to be again for any reason. The more Slav delays them, the greater their chances of being captured. And that terrifies him.

Shiro is edging closer and closer to having a panic attack and that’s why he’s losing his grip. Even when they’re back in the Blue Lion, Shiro’s still at the end of his rope. They just barely completed this mission and he hasn’t had time to process or calm down.

Also Shiro’s the only one who totally snaps at him. The others think Slav is annoying, but they manage. Hell he might be fundamental in finding Shiro next season.

Sorry I doubted you, Space Dad. But I have a feeling more outbursts will eventually come if the writers keep depicting his PTSD right.

The Ripper

Originally posted by pretty-originals-diaries

        Stefan x Reader(vampire) 

    “Y/N! Stop!” You heard Stefan yell just as you were getting to the good part of your meal. You released your teeth from the mans neck and just glared at Stefan with a look that could kill. 

         “What.” You were angry now. You shoved the man away from you and made your way towards Stefan. You didn’t quite know why you were so angry, but you didn’t care, you had thrown care out the window a long time ago. “I’ve got 300 years on you Stefan, don’t tell me what to do.” You snarled. 

       Stefan stood his ground no matter how close you got to him, he stood still. “You don’t have too be like this Y/N. I can help you.” His words made you laugh. 

       “You think, you can help me. Your full of shit. I have been a ripper for far to long, Stefan, you cant turn it off, you just can’t.”  His hard stare softened, but his body was still ridged. 

         “I can help you, you just have to let me.” He sounded almost like he was pleading, but you knew he couldn’t possibly care that much for you.  

         You turned away from him and looked at your meal. The man was still standing there with blood pouring from his neck, you were honestly surprised he was still standing. While watching the man bleed, you had an idea. Stefan couldn’t win you over, but maybe you could win him.   

         “Stefan, do you know what its like too not have one care in the world?” You said coming close to him again. “Turn it off, Stefan, turn it off.” You place your hands on his cheeks, in hopes that your touch would help persuade him. 

         “I cant do that.” He shook his head and took your hands from his face. “I can’t do that.” It sounded as if he was trying to convince himself that he couldn’t. 

        “Just a month, be with me for just a month. Then you can turn if back on, and maybe I will too.” That promise was empty. You were never turning you humanity back on. You gazed into his eyes. You could see how hard he was thinking about this, but at least he was considering it.  

         “If I do this, we cant hurt any of the people I care about.” He said weakly. You were okay with that simply because you did’t really kill for sport, you killed for food. 

         “Fine, just be with me Stefan.” You were pleading now. Having Stefan by your side would be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

    You saw him do it. You saw his guard drop. You saw his humanity leave his mind. Honestly  you didn’t think you could break him, but you did. You won. 

        “Try this on, she is delicious.” Stefan said and he swung the girl into your arms. You took a bite like he said and he was right. Her blood had a strange sweetness to it. 

        “She must be Vegan.” You said with a grin. He smiled and made his way over to you. He warped his strong arms around you and kissed you. The fresh blood on his mouth was getting all over you, but you weren’t sure if you cared. 

        “ Should we clean up our mess?” you asked as his lips moved to your neck. You looked around at the 3 bodies scattered across the room. 

        “We probably should if we want to keep Damon off our trail.” He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. “But, yet again if we clean this up no one will see our glorious work.” He smiled. 

        “I say we leave it.” You said throwing your arms around his neck. 

         “Well then we leave it.” He said. He kissed you one last time before running with you out of the dorm room. 

      You rolled over on the bed to face Stefan. “Turn on the news.” You smiled knowing that word of your elaborate dinning sessions must had made it to at least the local news station. 

      Once the TV came on, the first thing you saw was ‘Killers Strike Northern Virginia’ You smiled and rolled over onto Stefan. “Look at that we finally mad it to TV.” 

       “You do realize that within a few days, Damon will be hear begging me to turn it back on.” Stefan said resting his hands on my cheeks. 

        “Well then we will just have to get him to join us.” You smiled. 

A/N: Sorry its kinda of short, but if you want a part 2 all you gotta do is ask. :) I hope you enjoyed. 

Spending NYE with Harry would include...
  • him waking you up really early because “how can you miss the last morning of the year?” even though it isn’t that early and “Harry, please, it’s not like it isn’t like the others” being muttered grumply against his biceps because you were just fine sleeping peacefully until he decided to be a little shit.
  • eating whatever you can get your hands on easily because you’d prefer to sleep more and you’re not even hungry anyway
  • spend the day going grocery shopping (him putting you in a shopping car as if you were a damn kid but still laughing because you’d forgotten how funny it was)
  • (At the end you buy more thing that what you went for in the first place, but it doesn’t matter because now you have more baking supplies and he ‘used to be a baker, haven’t I told you, babe?’ and you can’t complain when you get to taste his famous triple chocolate brownies or his exquisite macarons ‘pink, I want them pink!’)
  • Anne told you that she had everything under control, that she only wanted you to be on time (because, let’s face it, when Harry is involved it is almost completely impossible to help yourself and you always get too carried on when it’s time to leave, resulting in the both of you earning a well-deserved reputation for always being late)
  • You try, really try not to give on his beautiful green eyes and those stupid tattoos still wet from the shower he just had… but you know him, and he knows you, and he knows that you won’t resist him nor you want to
  • So you end up messing the bed (’don’t worry, i’ll change the sheets so you can fix your makeup’) and moaning each other’s names like they were the most soul-touching prayer, with such adoration that lust and love were combined and you couldn’t see when either of them were.
  • when you’re both coming from your highs, he grabs your waist ‘no, not yet. Let me cuddle you a little”
  • ‘But Harry…!’
  • ‘My mom won’t get angry at you, I promise. Just don’t let go of me’ he said, sounding already sleepy. You sighed, nodding.
  • ‘If she says something, I’m gonna tell her that her son is a pain in the ass’
  • ‘You wouldn’t dare talking to her like that!‘
  • ‘It’s still true, tho’
  • And he would frown and said ‘you’re not nice, darling’
  • ‘Move, please, we can keep cuddling once we’re back from dinner’
  • like I said… you’re not nice’
  • but he’ll let go of you, kissing your temple as you find your way to his neck, letting small kisses there that don’t match what you’re lips said
  • and after being teased about coming late (’Again. Seriously, why are you always late? You don’t even live that far!’) Harry would smirk and blame you, giving you a look behind his parents eyes that would make Gemma roll her eyes in a playfully disgusted way
  • You’d talk to his family already feeling comfortable around them, as you are with your own family
  • they would ask you about school, your work, your parents, your plans for the next year… and harry would look proud about every single answer you give, because he ‘can’t believe my girl is that perfect, how did i get this lucky?
  • And once the clock marks a new beggining, he would grab your waist and close his lips against yours, with a touch that feels like a butterfly’s.
  • ‘Let’s hope that I can stand you another year’
  • ‘Harry!’ you’d punch him in his chest, frowning.
  • ‘I was just kidding! Just kidding, darling! Now, kiss me again, yeah?’