i still don't know what to call him



The king sleeps still, under a mountain , and around him is assembled his warriors and his herds and his riches. By his right hand is his cup, filled with possibility. On his breast nestles his sword, waiting, too, to wake. Fortunate is the soul who finds the king and is brave enough to call him to wakefulness, for the king will grant him a favour, as wondrous as can be imagined by a mortal man.

  • *221B*
  • Sherlock: *thinking*
  • John: *reading the paper* So, did you and Molly have a nice time last night?
  • Sherlock: *distracted* Hmm?
  • John: You didn't come home last night.
  • Sherlock: I told you. I had a case.
  • John: *lowers the paper* So that post you made on Twitter about a 'booty call'-
  • Sherlock: *red-faced* The case.
  • John: *nods* And this? *turns the paper, showing the front page, Sherlock and Molly snogging outside her flat early in the morning*
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Sherlock: *swallows* The-
  • John: *sighs* -case, yeah I know *continues reading the paper*

World class swindlers and sad love-starved boy make semi-functional family

I’m a million years late, and this conversation is probably super dead by now, but dagnabbit, I wanted to contribute!

  • Steve, Bucky, and Thor chilling after a battle, sharing some of Thor’s special brew because they’re the only ones who can handle it.
  • Thor setting the hammer on a table and grinning at Steve, Care for another try?
  • Steve shrugging good-naturedly and taking hold of the handle. Sure, why not.
  • Thor watching nervously while pretending not to be nervous.
  • Steve budging the hammer.
  • Thor LOLing.
  • It would seem that you are still simply unworthy, Captain.
  • Bucky snorting, tossing back the rest of his drink, and stepping up next to Steve. Are you kidding me? Move aside, Rogers.
  • Bucky grabbing the handle with his metal arm and pulling and pulling and glaring and looking to Steve.
  • Give me a hand.
  • That’s not how it works, Buck.
  • Just get over here, ya punk.
  • Steve grabbing hold just above Bucky’s clenched fist.
  • Thor LOLing in the background.
  • Bucky and Steve getting ready, Steve beginning with On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3–
  • And the hammer lifts off the table so easily that the two stumble back, shocked, hands still clasped one above the other.
  • Silence.
  • Bucky and Steve hold the hammer in the air and look at Thor in unison.
  • Thor stares wide-eyed.
  • Well, he begins after a few more moments, … if there are no pictures, it never happened.
  • Bucky yelling for Nat or Sam to get their butts in the room to take a photo before Thor can call the hammer back to him and growling Don’t let go Steve for fuck’s sake DON’T LET GO–
  • Snow: It's Gideon's birthday and we've all got to bring something for his party
  • Hook: Is he even old enough to know what a birthday is?
  • Emma: It's tradition. Just... don't question it.
  • Snow: Right. So, who wants to do what?
  • David: We should bring bubble wands! Baby Neal loves them.
  • Regina: I'm a little concerned that you're still calling him "Baby Neal". Isn't he like, two?
  • Snow:
  • David:
  • Emma: ... ANYWAY. How about Killian and I bring the balloons?
  • Hook: Aren't balloons rather vulnerable to sharp objects?
  • Emma: Wha--oh. Right. Good point.
  • Regina: Zelena and I could make the cake, maybe a nice apple p--
  • Everyone: NO
  • Emma: I'll make the cake.
  • Hook: I suppose I'll lend you a... hook.
  • David: That joke got old a long time ago.
  • Hook: So did Baby Neal. Too old for his moniker, at least.
  • David: I hope you drown in the cake batter.
  • Emma: What a way to go...
  • Regina: Oh my god. Okay, how about YOU make the cake, WE'LL bring the balloons, and the two idiots can handle the bubble crap.
  • Snow: WANDS
  • Regina: WHATEVER
  • Emma: This kid's gonna grow up thinking that birthdays are when the whole family comes together to bicker and argue.
  • Hook: Ah well, you know. It's tradition.

*Ragnarök calls* New squad who dis

anonymous asked:

Oh my, I realize you have many asks so feel free to answer simply or not at all, I don't mind! What are your thoughts on Victor's treatment of Yuuri in the beginning (ep 2) to now? I'm thinking of "savage" Victor with his 4 piggy/weight/mediocre comments. He softens toward Yuuri after of course but do you think he'd still have a natural tendency to bluntly tease Yuuri? I know some people call Victor's "don't feel like kissing if it isn't gold" a lil mean but it just isn't at the same level? :)

Victor’s initial roasting of Yuuri (and Yurio) has always struck me as simply what Victor is used to receiving himself. He considers Yakov the “only coach for him.” And what does Yakov do every chance he gets? He roasts Victor.

It’s “tough love,” if you will.

Yuuri doesn’t need to lose weight for cosmetic reasons. He needs to get in shape because he’s an athlete. However, I don’t think Victor understands how harsh he comes across at times.

To him, being hard on someone is a way of guiding them in the direction he feels will benefit them. It’s what Yakov does to him.

As for the “I’m not kissing anything but gold” scene, I think Victor was just being humorous. That entire scene was dripping with sarcasm.

“Aww, you didn’t win gold? Wow, I’m such a terrible coach. I’m so disappointed. Whatever could I kiss instead of a gold medal? Yuuri, do you have any ideas?” *puckers up*

I also think Victor was prodding Yuuri not to retire in that scene. It was a “keep trying” message. 

okay but listen

so, the eros routine. you know, the one that was heavily inspired by a certain accidental playboy who drunkenly seduced victor at this one banquet and then just up and left? know the one? well maybe it isn’t the only program inspired by the shenanigans of that evening, i mean oh wow what a coincidence that christophe “poledancer extraordinaire” giacometti also comes up with an over the top super sexy routine and decides to call it “intoxicated

actually you know what i bet the kings of being extra came up with the ideas together??

“okay vitya is the plan still a go now that you’re shacking up with him and playing his coach (how kinky!♥)” “you kidding me the guy’s acting like nothing happened i’m gonna make him skate the fucking routine so he can think about what he did to me chris”

If Hetalia was a Reality TV Show
  • Germany: Good Morning everyone. The first topic of today's meeting will concern our socio-economic policies...
  • America, to the camera: first meeting of the day, and it's starting with a SUPER BORING topic! Ughhhh!!
  • Germany: would anyone like to speak first on the topic- Okay, America.
  • England, to the camera: of course it's America. Typical.
  • Russia, to the camera: Germany shouldn't really ask this question if America always puts his annoying hand up. I prefer his other brother to talk~ ... huh? I'm sitting on him right now, you say?
  • Germany: Now, please raise your hand accordingly to those who would like to be on the speaker's list.
  • Italy, to the camera: veh! I didn't prepare today's topic!! I hope Germany won't notice, ve~
  • Germany: ... it seems like no one wants to discuss first. Very well, I will talk first... as usual.
  • China, to the camera: *rubbing his eyes* ughh! I'm too tired to listen to Germany... I think I'll take a nap during the first part of the meeting. It's a good thing I've perfected the act of sleeping with my eyes open~! *points at camera man* Don't you dare tell Germany!
  • Japan, to the camera: I turned to the right to see China-san sleeping with his eyes open... again. And when I glanced around the room, I can see countries' bored expressions. Poor Germany-san, no one seems to be listening to him... well, until...
  • Germany: I would like to discuss the regional socio-economic situations of each continent, starting with Europe; due to its current and troublesome situation from a certain event last summer.
  • England: what.
  • France, to the camera: Mon Dieu!! Germany... wow... he... he called on the eyebrowed-elephant in the room! I'm stunned and excited to see that arrogant Brit weep!
  • America, to the camera: dude!! OMG, I can't believe Germany called out on England like that! Dude... that's ballsy!
  • China, to the camera: I'm mad I slept through that one.
  • Italy, to the camera: veh, I've never seen so many countries look so... what is it called? hmmm... oh, attentive~
  • Russia, to the camera: I was thinking 'this looked fun'~ I like looking at people being uncomfrotable~ Oh, I'm still sitting on him? C-Canada... that's the country's name?
  • Germany, to the camera: I had to do it. I mean, I know no one was listening to me since the meeting was at eight in the morning. I was initially annoyed with Brexit prior to the meeting, so it felt... refreshing to let it out.
  • Canada, to the camera: um... guys... I'm over here- no wait, don't run, I'm not a ghost for pete's sake!!
You know what I don't understand?

Why almost every gryffindor I encounter on this hell-hole of a website is anti-snape. I thought gryffindors were supposed to always stand up for what is right, yet an abused 11-year-old brought it on himself that he’s bullied for 7 years straight (don’t give me that james grew up crap, he still kept bullying him behind lily’s back) solely “because he exists”-Sirius Black

How can any gryffindor call him an obsessed, sexist stalker rapist, when he left lily alone after she asked him to and is actually just a bitter old ass because of all the shit he went through?

How can anyone with common sense even call him a racist, when the only thing he could think of to call someone who knowingly didn’t do everything that was in her power to save him from sexual assault (because the bitch had a wand an knew how expelliarmus worked) was the slur he heard in the common room all day and probably the only wizard slur he knew, but then immediately regretted it, because he knew he didn’t want to be that douchebag?

How do people not get that snape joining the death-eaters is just like a woman who was abused as a child seaking out “bad boys” to have relationships with. It’s both because they think they are protected that way and it backfires in both cases. That’s why snape also kept being a spy for all those years, because he thought dumbledore could protect him.

This is simple psychology from a 16-year-old who has seen enough therapists and domestic abuse around her and who has been bullied enough herself to know what she’s talking about and yet there are adults who cannot understand this. I mean, I understand if you’re a privileged popular kid and can’t acknowledge it (not that that ignorance is to be condoned), but an adult should be wise enough to understand that snape is the literal product of his environment instead of blindly hating him for the mistakes he makes because of it.

anonymous asked:

Can I get an Android!Hal or a Suit!Hal?

i. usually don’t take random unsolicited requests in my box unless i specifically asked for them but. i also love my shitpost bot son.

design heavily influenced by @jaboody‘s AR design (ง ´͈౪`͈)ว and persona /sweats

fun fact: immediately after i saved this, the photoshop file completely glitched the fuck out and i got this:

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Draco's first sorry (Hermione's phone record #1)
  • Hermione: Hell-
  • Draco: AT LAST!! Finally decided to end this little war aren't you?
  • Hermione: No. Because You are annoying! You call me fifteen times every ten minutes in the last six hours like some kind of a lunatic! What do you want?
  • Draco: where the hell are you? Why aren't you going home?
  • Hermione: Don't feel like it
  • Draco: Come home. I'm Starving. Make me some food.
  • Hermione: You have house elves! Ask Rufus to cook for you. He knows the recipe I taught him.
  • Draco: Yes he knows but it's not even human enough to eat. the meat is still raw, the vegetables are burned, yours tasted better than him. I want muggle food.
  • Hermione: Just buy it somewhere
  • Draco: It's Freezing outside! I can't find my favorite black coat.
  • Hermione: Your Coats are all black Draco. You have 3 more coats exactly the same models, I tailored them for you last week. Wear another one. It's on the left row.
  • Draco: Well, I can't drive. How am I suppose to eat?
  • Hermione: Have it delivered to the manor. I stick your favorite place's number on the refrigerator. Call them. Said it's on behalf of Hermione Malfoy. They know the usual order already.
  • Draco: Are you always this prepared?
  • Hermione: I got to go. I'm hang-
  • Draco: NO! NO NO NO!! WAIT! Don't hang up! I'm Sorry. Please come home, Mione.
  • Hermione: ....
  • Draco: Listen, I'm sorry I underestimate your job. I'll take out the trash, I'll clean the bathroom muggle way, I'll buy the groceries I'd do anything you want me to. Just come home, please.
  • Hermione: Said it again
  • Draco: .....
  • Hermione: Fine, Good B-
  • Draco: Geez OKAY OKAY I'M SORRY! I'm sorry.
  • Hermione: Apology accepted! And promise me you'll talk to Scorpius not to use "Father will hear about this" every time I send him out for an errand when he came home.
  • Draco: I promise. Pinky Swear.
  • Hermione: Alright then. I'll be home in five.
  • Draco: Thank god! okay, see you at home love
  • Hermione: Oh and Draco? You know I wouldn't leave you or Scorp or Jax alone without making sure your well beings first right? I might not be a ministry of magic anymore, but being your wife and mum are jobs that I will never quit. It's not fancy; little publicity and appreciation, lots of hard work and patience but it's worth every second. Thank you for giving me this honor.
  • Draco: anytime, love. Hurry, I'm starving. love you.
A simple translation of a woman's mind
  • What Touka means: I've missed you so much, I'm so glad to know you're okay and on our side, so glad you called my name, please don't die while battling Arima for our sakes...
  • What Touka says: I'll see you later, okay?
  • What Touka means: can I call you by your first name now? Can we finally become more intimate please?
  • What Touka says: So how should I call you now?
  • What Touka means: to call you Kaneki? Still Kaneki? Are you friendzoning me?!?
  • What Touka says: *punches him*
  • What Touka means: I've waited you for so long, I thought you were dead, saw you on the opposite front, loved you since you disappeared and now....
  • What Touka says: can we talk when you come back?
  • What Touka means: did you have any girlfriends while you were gone? Were they pretty? Were they prettier than me? Was their coffee better then mine? Were they more menacing than me?
  • What Touka says: Are you a virgin?
  • Kali: Oh damn it.
  • Blake: What's wrong mom?
  • Kali: I forgot my scroll and I need to call your father to let him know I made it here safely.
  • Blake: Oh here. Use mine. *Hands her mom her scroll*
  • Kali: Oh thank you sweetie. *Kali took the scroll and find a contact named, "Daddy."* Aaawww that is so cute you still call your father daddy. *Kali hits it.*
  • Blake: Wha- WAIT MOM DON'T USE THAT ONE! *Blake panicked when both cat faunus her a ringtone, bmblb, Go off in front of them where Yang is waiting for them.*
  • Yang: *Answers her scroll.* Yello.
  • Kali: ... I want to thank you Yang for giving so much teasing ammo on my daughter.
  • Blake: Kill me now.

anonymous asked:

I looked up the blog from the Warren ask you posted and there are liberals out there still supporting Hillary(for what??) and hating on bernie sanders(not that I unconditionally support him) but I don't even get what logical reason they would have, I didn't even know this demographic existed.

Oh yeah, there’s a lot of people like that. I typically call them the Hillary fandom. A big part of the reason I think that’s an appropriate label is because their politics are very person-centric; ironically, they’re similar to a lot of the die-hard Bernie fans in that they aren’t supporters of politicians based exclusively on their ideas and policies, but are emotionally invested in the person themselves. To them, there isn’t a schism in the Democratic party between its neoliberal and progressive wings, there’s just, like, a personal rivalry between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, in which any criticism of one is an endorsement of the other, and vice versa. At times it simply stops being political at all, it’s just taking sides in social drama for them.

This personal investment in a candidate leads to a lot of really shitty post hoc political analysis. For both Bernie die-hards trying to justify why he lost the primary and Hillary fans trying to justify why she lost the general, they don’t look at the actual candidate’s campaign strategies, at their rhetoric, or at the larger political environment. They start their analysis from the perspective of “given that my candidate is incapable of wrongdoing, how did they lose?” This leads to “the DNC rigged the primary” and “Russia/Wikileaks/Comey/Stein/fake news/etc.,” respectively. In Hillary’s case in particular, it’s why statements like “I’m With Her,” “when she wins, we win” and “we failed her” don’t strike them as strange at all- because for them, it’s not about ideas and policies, it’s about her.

It’s the worst form of politics, because it’s only even tangentially political.

five fics by me

I was tagged by the lovely @casthewise to list five of my own favorite fics :)

making it up as we go: 3.5k, Canonverse, Canon divergent

There’s plenty of things stuck on Dean’s mind these days. Hell, mostly, but also the thing that pulled him out of there. 


For such a terrifying creature, he looks like a dork. It trips Dean up. He never did believe in angels, but he figured that if they existed, they’d be less Nicholas Cage, more indescribable eldritch horror.


A collection of 26 lipographic drabbles showing Dean and Cas, off-screen, through the years.

A Helping Hand: 2.1k, College AU

Castiel is tired of getting sexiled by his roommate. Dean offers a solution.

A Thousand Miles to Comfort: 3k, AU

Dean goes on a road trip, looking to run away from his problems. Castiel joins him.

It Only Leads to Trouble: 2.8k, Domestic AU, Bet

The door slammed, signaling Cas’ arrival. Dean smirked from his place on the living room couch, feeling more than a little pleased with himself. Looked like his plan to rile Cas up had worked perfectly.

He jumped as Cas suddenly appeared in front of him. Cas looked pissed, glowering down at Dean, and for one moment Dean was sure that he was about to either punch him or pin him down to the couch and fuck his brains out.

Keem ‘Em Coming: 2.4k, Canon divergent, Human!Cas, Outsider POV

Cas clears his throat. “I should probably not be hearing this.”

“What are you gonna do?” Dean grins at him. “Call the cops on me?”

“I just might.”

Cas is grinning too, which just looks strange. Sam’s eyes dart between the two of them and that feeling of intruding grows ten-fold. He still can’t figure out what’s so off about the way Dean and Cas interact, but it’s something.

I’m tagging: @avyssoseleison, @perfackles@robotsnchicks, @ltleflrt, @angvlicmish, @punkascas and @deansmom 

She bumps into him in the hallway. Her gaze at her feet, her focus in some other zip code, and she just doesn’t see him as he rounds the corner.

He steadies himself with a hand on her forearm; she exhales his name, a question. Their eyes meet. Of course he’s still here. She knew that. Skinner mentioned it when he called. “He might appear in your office without warning,” he’d said dryly. She’d said something flippant, she doesn’t remember exactly what, and now here he is, ahead of schedule. There’s not even a nameplate on her door yet.

He recovers faster than she does. “Congratulations,” he says. “A.D. Scully. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Me neither,” she admits. “I guess my status as office pariah wasn’t permanent.”

That halfway smile she remembers so well. ”Mine is.“

Scully ducks her head in acknowledgement, then looks at him – really looks at him – for the first time. "How have you been, Mulder?”

“Not as good as you,” he says lightly. “Still in the basement.”

Her voice is gentle. "You chose that.”

“And you didn’t. I know.” He almost sounds bitter.

The lights strobing red and blue across his face while they watched the last five years burn down. It’s been years, but she can’t forget the heat from the embers, the emptiness behind his eyes. He didn’t take her to the airport. He never returned any of her calls.

“At least now I’ll have my own desk,” she jokes. At least, she wants it to be a joke. But Mulder darkens immediately, and oh, she remembers this, too: the moods he’d swing into, like a sudden gale; the storms in his eyes.

“Scully, you could’ve—“

But she shakes her head. This is not something she’s going to re-litigate — not here, not ever. Water under the bridge, her mom would say, but when has Fox Mulder ever left a bridge unburned?

“I heard about the Bryce case,” she says brightly. A nice, normal case that would never have landed on their — on his desk, back when they were partners. Standard-issue serial killer. “That was good work.”

“Thanks, boss,” he sneers, and that’s when Scully finally decides to call it. Since she left D.C. she’s gotten better at office politics, but she should’ve known her new skills wouldn’t work on Mulder.

There’s nothing obvious in the hallway to drag her away, so she gestures vaguely in the direction she was heading. ”Anyway, I should–“

"Of course,” he interrupts. “You’ve got a lot of work to do. Don’t let me keep you.” He tosses off a sarcastic salute before he goes.

She watches him until he disappears into the stairwell. Her face is hot. She’s furious and sad and fired up, all at once, and she wonders how the hell she survived five years with him. Had she felt like this all the time?

Moments pass. No other ghosts show up in the hallway. Scully finds her office — still no nameplate, she’ll have to ask maintenance about that — and sits down behind the desk. Her desk. She puts her feet up on it the way he used to do. She finally exhales.

*knocks on your door* hello, i’m here to share my headcanon that felicity definitely went to see iris after she lost her man to the speed force because their friendship is everything to me and i am all about ladies supporting each other

“I’m going to Central City for a few days,” she announced, rolling her small suitcase behind her.

Oliver’s head whipped up, “What? Why?”

It hadn’t been long since their return from Lian Yu and they were still settling back into being together, so she could see the confusion and worry in his eyes at her announcement. Last time she had taken a solo trip to Central City it had been because he had broken her heart and she needed space.

“Iris needs me.” She explained, settling down onto his lap and smoothing her hands over his chest. He relaxed at her touch and lifted one of her hands to press a kiss to her knuckles. “I won’t be gone long, I just want to check on her. Caitlin is MIA and I’m sure her family is trying their best, but they haven’t been through something like this. Not like I have.”

He nodded in understanding. “Okay. Just call me when you get there?”

“Of course.” She leaned her forehead against his. “I love you.”

If living this life has taught her anything, it was that those three words should be said as often as possible, because you could never know when you might not get to again.

“I love you too.”

“Iris?” She knocked again on the door of the loft Cisco had given her the address for. When he had called to tell her what had happened, her mind had instantly flashed back to all the times that she had watched Oliver walk away from her, prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice if that was what it came down to with his various adversaries over the years. When she had hung up, she cried for her friend, for her heartbreak that she knew all too well. Loving a hero was full of goodbyes that you could never be prepared for. Goodbyes that you could never be completely sure weren’t permanent. “Iris? It’s Felicity…”

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