Hearts Don’t Break Around Here
Prompt: you’re trying to toilet train your 20 pound cat and you sent me this photo and now I can’t stop crying out of laughter in public.
A/N: Happy birthday to my favourite human @fetchalgernon - I love you. Thank you for making it impossible for me to write modern!jily and not include algernon. So here you go, 100% of fluff and shenanigans, with next to 0 plot. I hope you enjoy <3
Thank you @yourbcky for the stellar beta job x
It’s three in the afternoon on a Saturday when Lily drops a bag of frozen peas all over the floor of her local supermarket.
It really isn’t her fault, to be perfectly honest. Yes, she’s making a fool of herself, crying with laughter as she struggles to gather the peas that have spilled all over the floor. and the others down the aisle - from the old woman looking at the yorkshire puddings, all the way to the middle aged man studying a ratty shopping list - probably think she’s mental now, but it really isn’t her fault.
Picture this: you’re running errands, casually making your way through every different sodding aisle of the nearest Tesco Express because Sirius and co. are coming over for dinner, and the only things you have in your fridge are mustard and cheese crackers – and even though you know full well they wouldn’t mind, you actually feel like trying for a change.
Your phone buzzes with a message notification, and when you slide your finger over the screen, you’re met with a picture of Algernon, your boyfriend’s insane and alarmingly orange cat, sitting next to an empty litter box. Yes, empty, because all of the litter is strewn across the midnight blue carpet, and you can practically feel James’ despair simply by looking at his face.
If this was the case, you’d probably be cracking up like an idiot as well.
[15:02] james: toilet training algernon is not… going as expected
[15:03] lily: I dropped my peas.
[15:03] james: ???
[15:04] james: tht was a typo right
[15:05] lily: I was getting food for tonight and the picture you sent me made me drop my bag of peas.
[15:06] lily: They rolled everywhere, James. I hope you’re peased with yourself.
[15:06] james: :(
[15:06] james: btw i cant believe YOU made a pun
[15:06] lily: I know, you’re a terrible influence
[15:06] lily: Also, you’re cleaning that up.
[15:07]: james: just like u cleaned up the peas right