i still believe in the dream

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My Nightmare - Get Scared 

Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Difficulty Coping With Having Left Abuser

Genre: Alt/Indie

Lyrics:

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I wanted to see where beauty comes from
without you in the world, hauling my heart
across sixty acres of northeast meadow,
my pockets filling with flowers.
Then I remembered,
it’s you I miss in the brightness
and body of every living name:
rattlebox, yarrow, wild vetch.
You are the green wonder of June,
root and quasar, the thirst for salt.
When I finally understand that people fail
at love, what is left but cinquefoil, thistle,
the paper wings of the dragonfly
aeroplaning the soul with a sudden blue hilarity?
If I get the story right, desire is continuous,
equatorial. There is still so much
I want to know: what you believe
can never be removed from us,
what you dreamed on Walnut Street
in the unanswerable dark of your childhood,
learning pleasure on your own.
Tell me our story: are we impetuous,
are we kind to each other, do we surrender
to what the mind cannot think past?
Where is the evidence I will learn
to be good at loving?
The black dog orbits the horseshoe pond
for treefrogs in their plangent emergencies.
There are violet hills,
there is the covenant of duskbirds.
The moon comes over the mountain
like a big peach, and I want to tell you
what I couldn’t say the night we rushed
North, how I love the seriousness of your fingers
and the way you go into yourself,
calling my half-name like a secret.
I stand between taproot and treespire.
Here is the compass rose
to help me live through this.
Here are twelve ways of knowing
what blooms even in the blindness
of such longing. Yellow oxeye,
viper’s bugloss with its set of pink arms
pleading do not forget me.
We hunger for eloquence.
We measure the isopleths.
I am visiting my life with reckless plenitude.
The air is fragrant with tiny strawberries.
Fireflies turn on their electric wills:
an effulgence. Let me come back
whole, let me remember how to touch you
before it is too late.
—  Summer Solstice, Stacie Cassarino

So I fell asleep while my dad was watching Phantom Rouge earlier and had a dream about hxh since I guess I was listening to the movie or whatever.

But in my dream Gon and Killua both (along with Kurapika) had their eyes taken but instead of the situation being all grim and tense, they were just whining about it the whole time… Well Killua was whining.

Gon was still trying to run around like normal and was like “Fite me” to everyone who told him to stay put because he has insanely strong senses and doesn’t need to see.

Kurapika was all “woe is me” and TOTALLY milking having no eyes. Being completely and utterly useless and dramatic. You know, moaning dramatically and flopping on the bed, couch, floor, etc.

Killua was just being a whiny brat and complaining about every single inconvenience…. Not exactly a new development (I love this kid). But like. He was really REALLY clumsy without being able to see. Like he was being all cocky and arrogant… Until he consistently tripped over stuff and ran into walls because he “couldn’t see any damn thing.”

Leorio? He was legit their babysitter because no one could do ANYTHING without either putting themselves in danger or getting hurt or complaining.

HANG IN THERE

Hi, it’s been a while since I visited my blog. I honestly have all the free time in the world to be creative and to do the things I love. But I can’t deny the fact that I’m still adjusting to the demands of being a young adult. As much as I don’t want to talk about working, it’s an essential part of life after graduating from college. Of course, if you want to go to places, try good food and experience life, we all need to work harder and smarter. 

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any drawing tips? I really like your art and I would love to know how to get better at drawing myself!

drawing is a very hard technique for people to express they’re style in traditional or digital I understand about drawing better traditional but digitally keep practicing and be inspired but not too far to copy characters I learned this lesson through experience but pls keep drawing don’t give up cause of negative comments forget about them and keep going on in life cause u will achieve your style one day I believe all of you will do that but I good tip to know to draw hands I draw a little square or a circle and make random fingers attached to the circle or square now for me this is not my style I approve of ATM I’m still trying to improve and once I achieve my own style ill be able to do my dreams hope this helps love you guys!.

Also thank u all for 100+ followers!

Tom Holland still can't believe he realised Spider-Man dream in just five years

British actor Tom Holland still can’t believe he’s actually Spider-Man just five years after telling a U.K. magazine the web-slinger was his dream role.

The young star was asked if he would ever consider playing a superhero on the big screen at an awards show and he said he’ love to have a go at Peter Parker and his alter-ego - and it appears someone was listening.

“Five years ago I was at the Empire Awards in London and someone asked if I could be a superhero who would I be,” he recalls. “I said, ‘In 10 years I’d like to be the Spider-Man after Andrew Garfield’.

"I would never have guessed that it would have come true so quickly.”

Holland replaces his fellow Brit in the Marvel franchise’s upcoming prequel Spider-Man: Homecoming, which is already receiving rave reviews from early screenings - and Tom still can’t believe his luck.

“I’ve been so lucky in my career,” he tells WENN. “I feel like I’ve been at the right place at the right time at every turn. I got to work with who I consider to be the best of the best and learn from people.

"I’ve been able to play different characters without having to go too far and I’m looking to go a little bit further. This job since day one has been a rollercoaster and doesn’t feel real. I read a comic yesterday which is based off of my face! I mean what the hell? Nothing has sunk in. It feels like I’m going to wake up and be very disappointed.”

But he admits he was so keen to please director Jon Watts at times, he hated having to let him know that he really couldn’t mimic Spider-Man: “You can’t really master hanging upside down; that’s not something I prepared for, but my dancing and gymnastics background was so helpful for this project because we were able to do things as Peter Parker that they probably hadn’t been able to do in the past,” he smiles.

“That said, sometimes they would overestimate my skill set. Jon would say, 'Could you just back off from that wall and land on that beam?’ 'No Jon I can’t do that! I’m not that good, dude’.”

© Cover Media

anonymous asked:

You head canons give me LIFE

~*follow me for more soft human transmutation*~

  • *pidge voice* “alright two questions: 1. who put a ‘baby on board’ sticker on my lion because i’m going to kill them, and 2. where did you even get it??? we’re in space”
  • lance: *still holds a grudge on that girl in his 3rd grade class who borrowed his eraser during a test and never gave it back*
    • also lance: *would forgive you for stabbing him, probably*
    • he’s a complex guy
  • shiro’s actually the angriest person on the team, but no one can tell because he keeps the screaming on the inside
  • “keith speak texas for us”
  • allura suggests duels in the airlock to solve team issues. no one can tell whether she’s joking or not
  • coran is in constant awe of how inefficient the human body is. your retina are backwards? you still have five toes? what do you mean half of your species keeps their gametes in hanging sacks-?
  • keith is the ultimate rebel without a cause
    • always ready to fight the power
    • what power???? all of them
    • he’s like one of those little wind up toy cars. you point him in a direction, try to pull him back, and then watch him go lmao
  • *team blows up a galra supply store* hunk: “heh, I guess you could say that business……… is booming” “hunk shut your damn mouth”
TAURUS: lately life has felt like a carnival ride that you stumbled onto by accident and you don’t understand why everybody else is having such a good time. why everybody else has open-mouth smiles and bright eyes while you’re clutching your lap-bar praying for something to end. it won’t always be like this. the ground isn’t going to perpetually swing around you, stealing your balance and your ability to move as if your existence is something flimsy and disposable. this will all slow down eventually. please stay until then. the view from the top will be worth it.

GEMINI: you’ve taken every offhand remark to heart since the day you were born and your chest has become so heavy that it’s hard to breathe around all of that hurt. you know you don’t have to keep it all hidden, right? storage units exist for a reason: humans were never meant to bear all of their belongings. I know that your statuesque stance is one you’ve been practicing for centuries, but it’s okay to ask for help. nobody is going to be mad at you or think of you as weak for doing so.

CANCER: you’re holding something beautiful and this is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done. because you’re so used to watching watching eggs roll off the countertop and kisses slip off of your cheek that everything worthwhile seems fleeting. fragile. forced. like the universe is playing a game to see how good you are at playing catch with crystal balls. but you’ve gotta believe in the potential of durability. if you’ve managed to exist for this long without giving up, you must believe in something, and it must be pretty special. don’t lose it now. not after all this time.

LEO: maybe it feels like the april showers will never stop pouring down on you. maybe you keep trying to fix new things with old instruction manuals and end up getting frustrated when the pictures don’t match what’s in front of you. maybe you’re starting to realize that not everything is going to work out the way you need it to and that scares you. it scares you because the last time this happened it almost killed you. but the key word here is almost. you’re more than the rubble you’ve had to sift through and the photographs you’ve had to throw out. you were never meant to burn out. you were designed to endure.

VIRGO: so, you ran away from home. you’re playing hooky from your life because every scenario you’ve found yourself in has ended in blood. and you’re sick of it. you never asked for any of this. but then again, has anyone? I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to build those walls around yourself every morning, before your coffee and your nicotine, before you think about the lover you left behind. have you ever visited the grand canyon? you should. it’s time you found some beauty in what’s below the surface. look at how easy it is to see the sky from here. but please don’t try to fly until you’ve looked down once or twice please.

LIBRA: you ran into the past while crossing the street and you didn’t stop to say hello. were you scared? or were you just waiting for what you abandoned to make the first move? either way, you didn’t say hello and that’s okay. you don’t have to feel shameful about the ugliness of your progress. not everybody’s carriage stays a carriage when the clock strikes midnight. that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or valuable. you ran into the past while crossing the street and it didn’t hurt you. not this time. not you.

SCORPIO: everybody around you seems to be darting across the universe with their hearts on their sleeves and it makes you feel as though something is wrong with you. as if the molasses town your feet are submerged in is something that you asked for, that you wanted. you know, you don’t have to travel at the speed of light in order to get out of bed in the morning and that’s still something miraculous, especially when every part of you is begging to pull the covers over your eyes and dream a little longer. I’m proud of you for fighting that feeling. I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard.

SAGITTARIUS: I think that it’s time for you to start believing in fairy tales again. do you remember being smaller? looking for magic around every corner? that spark doesn’t leave once you outgrow the disney themed bedsheets and wear holes in the light-up sneakers. nobody needs you to be the grown-up all of the time, it’s okay to let yourself feel lighthearted again. go pick some daisies or buy some gelato. take care of yourself the way you would’ve before the world showed you its shadows.

CAPRICORN: the monsters under your bed have been keeping you awake for months but you don’t have the heart to drive them away. you’ve kinda liked the company. you’ve been throwing them scraps from the dinner table that you couldn’t finish and have taken pleasure in listening to what you couldn’t stomach be put to use. but, baby, you don’t have to be kind to the things that make you shudder in the night. you’re not obligated to give to the things that take and take and take until there’s nothing left. reclaim your bedroom. this, this is yours. it always will be.

AQUARIUS: sometimes you find yourself thinking about the cost of living. how much of yourself you’ve had to trade in order to stay alive. it’s really easy to get angry, when you see that other people have traded so much less and gotten so much more. but don’t let yourself get caught up in the what-if’s because that’s a maze that’ll never let you leave, no matter the strength of the compass you bring with you. forgive yourself for what you’ve had to do to survive. it doesn’t make sense to be ashamed of all you’ve gone through, when everyone else just wants to watch you succeed. we’re rooting for you.

PISCES: you’ve become an expert at mending the bridges that people have burned in your wake and I hope that you see the beauty in that. the talent it takes to reconstruct a pathway between two islands is immense and you’ve forgotten this in all of the excitement. you’ve accomplished great things in such a short time, and it’s breathtaking. truly. when you were born everybody in the room must’ve held their breath, because how could they not see what they were bringing into the world? sure, you’ve caused a few accidents. but you’re working to fix the damage. you’re trying. that’s enough.

ARIES: the clocks have all been telling you that you’re late for figuring yourself out. which is another way of saying that it feels as though time itself has been harassing you because you don’t know who you are yet. and hey, fuck ‘em. time is a construct: while you? you’re here. you’re breathing. you’re taking the alarms and setting them for 12pm because this is your life and you dictate what it’ll be filled with. don’t worry about the calendars or the deadlines. you’ll find yourself when you’re ready. take as many seconds as you need.

My heart is already tired.” she said putting her hand over her chest. Wanting to make herself believe that her heart is still beating. “But I just can’t stop. I just can’t stop caring and loving him. That it seems more than enough. It feels like drinking water and breathing air. As if I’m going to lose it once I stopped thinking about how he is. I’m still living in this fantasy, and reality keeps on reminding me that the world doesn’t revolve around him. It is so beautiful and destructive at the same time. Yet now, all I wanted is to wake up from this sweet dream of mine.
—  ma.c.a // Dreams of You

[My family, eating in a restaurant. A kid walks past our table in a Star Wars “Rebels Have More Fun” T-Shirt]
Me: That shirt is inaccurate. Rebels don’t have more fun. No one in Star Wars has more fun than Sheev. I mean, that guy is living his dreams. 
My Husband: Exactly. Everyone else is mostly watching their friends die and getting betrayed and crying all the time.
Me: It’s like they never even saw Return of the Jedi. I know he dies in that one, but come on. Sidious is having a BALL right up until the minute he he gets chucked into the abyss. 

Imagine - Zach gets jealous

Originally posted by sensualkisses

@ambrosebabyy Request: “Can I get a Zach Dempsey imagine ? Were he sees Bryce all over me and gets really protective?”

@thrtreasons Request: “jealous!zach…. i just… oh my god sorry i am sooooo zach trash”

@hanna-ranay Request: “Honestly an imagine about Zach would truly be appreciated, if you can. If not, it’s okay. Thank you!”

Jessica Davis was having a party at her house tonight, and of course you, being her best friend, had to go. You, Jessica, Justin, Zach, Bryce, Monty, and several other students from Liberty high were sitting in the living room playing suck and blow. You were sandwiched between Bryce Walker and Zach Dempsey.

You would never admit it to anyone, but you had a huge crush on Zach. And you’re pretty sure Jessica knew, she is your best friend after all, how could she not. But you were too shy to act upon your feelings towards him and you believed that he would never want to be with someone like you. Even though you hung out with Jessica and the more popular kids at Liberty high, you were still known as quite the nerd. And someone like Zach Dempsey don’t go for nerdy girls like you, they go for skinny cheerleaders who are drop dead gorgeous. 

Anyways, the game of suck and blow had already started, and you were pretty nervous to say at the least. Because you had to put your mouth against Zach’s with only a thin card in between the two of your lips. It was getting closer and closer to your turn until some girl pressed her mouth against Bryce’s passing the card on to him. He turned towards you, card on his lips. Bryce scooted closer to you quickly, sandwiching you more between him and Zach, until the point where you were chest to chest with Bryce and your back was pressed firmly against Zach’s muscular chest. Bryce then proceeded to place his card covered lips against yours, and quickly, in the process of passing the card onto you, snuck his hand around you to grab a hold of your backside and give it a good squeeze. His actions shocked you and you jumped, emitting a little squeal which was muffled by the card between yours and Bryce’s lips. Still in shock from what is happening right now, you faintly hear a deep growl from behind you…

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2

I have been blessed with this opportunity to transcend all limitations, and play the most powerful game of make believe, where we make believe that anything is possible And I’m struggling with seeing these possibilities because my own inner critic, with his full belly and swollen mouth, is eating up all my joy and belief in myself, trying to trick me into thinking that I’m not worthy. […] My inner critic is strong, but I know that I am stronger. I can’t get rid of him. He’ll always be there. A voice in my head telling me to not even dare to dream for something more. […] But that is exactly what makes me so fierce. Because even with his voice, his monstrous size filling up the space underneath my skin, I still choose to try. And I still choose to believe.

This Day in 1D History - June 3

2012: 

  • Narriam get in some golf at the Medinah Country Club outside Chicago
  • …while Louis and Eleanor opt for mini golf (and shopping :))
  • Liam Payne, human dictionary (lmao)

2013: 

  • the boys announce their ticket competition with Coles!

2014

  • Where We Are Tour concert – Edinburgh, UK 

2015: 

  • ‘Reunited with an old friend !’ (via Louis’ Insta)
  • *ok emoji* *100 emoji* *flame emoji* *sunglass emoji*

2016:

  • Nouis take on Day 3 of training!!
  • and get suited up by Reiss (bless)
  • “Missed this lad !” on Louis’ Insta (*LOUD SNIFFLING*)

anonymous asked:

maybe a scenario where zen has a gf but you're also in love with him????? ahhhh sorry I just love your scenarios and I want to see more of them ^^

Author’s note: mwahahhaha HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZENNYYYY

The Other Girl

She tilted her head back and laughed, flashing the room with her bright smile. The dress she wore perfectly accented her figure, and her blonde hair flowed down her back like a golden waterfall. She had a straight nose, and pretty blue eyes. In other words, she was perfect.

Of course, you wouldn’t expect anything less from Zen’s girlfriend.

Zen and Hana had met while shooting a car commercial. She was a model who was trying to start her acting career, and he was desperate for a new job. It was, as Zen put it, “love at first scene.” Now, on their five month anniversary, you and the rest of the RFA were sitting around Zen’s living room, laughing and celebrating the couple. There was only one problem.

You were in love with Zen, too.

“That was hilarious,” Hana wiped a tear from her eye. She sighed and snuggled deeper into Zen’s chest.

He smiled and kissed the top of her head, “Aren’t I the luckiest guy in the world?”

A familiar pain stung your heart. You bit your lip and looked away, focusing on the concerned look Seven was giving you instead.

“Stop it,” you mouthed silently.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed back, giving you another pitying look.

Seven was the only other person that knew about your feelings, and surprisingly, he had been a complete and total sweetheart about it. He would always talk you up to Zen, trying to help your relationship move forward. You actually thought it might have gone somewhere, if it hadn’t been for Hana. After the two got together, Seven stayed right by your side. You closed your eyes, remembering the night after Zen told you about his newly found girlfriend.

“Uh-huh…yeah… that’s great! Okay, Zen, go and call the others. Yes, I’m sure they’ll all be thrilled! Okay, bye.”

You hung up the phone and held it to your chest. I can’t believe he has a girlfriend… and it’s not me.

You covered your mouth to keep the sobs from escaping. The phone in your hand became heavy as your felt your legs get weaker. Slowly, you made your way over to the couch and sat down, placing your cell next to you. Looking at your shaking hands you moved it back and forth in front of your face. I feel like I’m in a dream. Maybe it’s-

DING DONG

The doorbell interrupted your thoughts. You bit your lip and stayed still, hoping whoever was there would go away.

DING DONG, DING DONG

Who the hell would come here at this hour?

You walked over to the door, your legs feeling like they were treading through quicksand. Reaching out, you cracked open the door to see who it was.

“Seven?”

You mentally scolded yourself for the way your voice cracked. You looked up at your friend as he stood on your front porch, ice cream in one hand and wine in the other.

“Can I come in?”

“Please.”

He pushed past you and walked into your kitchen. You heard the freezer door open and shut, followed by the clinking of glass. He returned with two glasses of wine and set them down on your coffee table. You stared at him.

“…So, what are you-”

You were stopped by a bone-crushing hug. Seven wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest, burying his head in your hair.

“Zen called me first and told me. He said he was going to call you next, so I came over here… I’m so sorry.”

He loosened his grip and you pulled your head back. “I-I’m fine, you don’t have to worry!”

Seven looked at you and tilted your head up toward him. “You don’t have to lie… not with me.”

“…MC??”

Your eyes shot open when you heard Zen calling your name.

“Y-Yeah?”

You looked around the room, making eye contact with each of the RFA members. Why are they all staring?

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Zen gave you a look and then bit his lip. “You’re crying.”

Your hand shot up to your face like lightning. When you felt the dampness around your eyes, your chest tightened.

“I’m gonna go get some air,” you stood up and walked toward the balcony.

“If you need anything just ask,” you heard Hana call out behind you. Quickly, you made your way outside.

Finally.

Frantically, you wiped the tears from your eyes. In an attempt to distract yourself, you looked up at the stars above you. It’s just like that night with Zen… the night when we looked at the stars together.

Your mouth formed soft smile as you began to recall what happened that night. Regardless of whom Zen was with, that moment would always be yours.

A sudden burst of wind pulled you out of your reminiscing. The bitter night air burned your chapped lips and sent a shiver down your spine. You looked down to your waist and around your area. Damnit, I forgot my-

“Looking for this?”

Seven stood behind you, holding up your jacket.

“Yeah,” you grabbed it from him, quickly slipping into it, “Thanks, Luciel.”

Seven eyebrows quirked, “Luciel? You almost never call me that.”

“I know,” you looked up at him, “I just need you to understand how much I really mean it. Thank you for everything.”

You could help but notice the slight blush forming on his cheeks. He scratched the back of his neck.

“Well… ah, whatever.”

He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a hug.

“I’ll always be here for you.”

You smiled into his chest, letting his words comfort your broken heart.

After a while, you pulled away from him. “Let’s go back inside.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.”

Following Seven inside, you sat back down in your original spot, and after a while it was like you had never left.

“-And that’s the first time I ever hacked into a database!”

As Seven finished his story, you couldn’t help but smile. Slyly, you looked around to see everyone else’s reactions.

That’s when you noticed it.

The ice cold glare Zen was giving you.

The hell?

4

- May, what the hell are you doing here? I didn’t request a specialist.
- I go where I’m assigned.

The Adventures of Coulson & May: Some Time Ago