Please, come in. The world is louder than it’s ever been, and your lips make it all seem distant. Your arms make it all seem harmless. I’ve never been good at opening my door to people as genuine as you, but please, come in. Seek refuge in my arms, while I find peace in your eyes. Wrap me up in that thoughtful stare of yours and let me watch your mind run wild. There is calmness in you and I, so please, come in. Stay a while.
the more i think about the bs finale the more i realize the tragedies underlying the happy endings, so as of today i’ve decided to be dumb and blind. im taking the easy way out lads. subtext does not exist. all is well (ﾉ◕‿◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
I’ll never forget how happy I was when it was confirmed that James was going to Madrid and now I feel like shit knowing this may be the end of the dream, EL SUEÑO YA ES REAL HAD ME CRYING AND NOW I’M CRYING AGAIN FOR DIFFERENT REASONS
Lunch time was approaching and you had your hands full. You had a five year old yacking away in your ear about absolutely nothing, a screaming newborn making a fuss in the swing, a nine year old and seven year old going toe to toe on where to sit at the table, an eleven year old tuned out to the world with her eyes glued to her phone, not being any help, and a husband who had vanished from the chaos.
You took pride in Niall being your husband. He was a generous and affectionate partner, a kind and compassionate father to your four daughter and one son. He was how every father should be with their children; Patient and funny, loving and adventurous, relaxed and entertaining. He almost never missed a second of anything, including the tea parties and the dress up and playing with dolls, bandaging the scraped knees and kissing the bruises and soothing the fevers. Your friends complained about their husbands being useless, lazy, and turning a tad bit mean. It brought you just a bit of pleasure to rub it in their faces of how great Niall was in every area.
You snapped your fingers at the arguing children, telling them to get in their seats and stop the bickering. You instructed the toddler to do the same, raising your eyebrow as a warning when she stomped her foot because she wanted to be as attached to you as possible and have your undivided attention. You stuck a pacifier in the baby’s mouth, only for it to be spat back out.
Just as Jesus told the waves to be still, Niall walked into the room and all the commotion seized. Juliet and Hannah stuck their lips back in, Katie’s incoming tears stopped, Vivian had her phone face down on the table, and Eddie’s reddened face turned to its natural rosy complexion. He cooed happily at the sight of his old man. The silence was louder than the actual chaos. Niall scanned the kitchen incredulously, wondering why all had fallen all of a sudden. You tried not to huff. Niall was everyone’s favorite, your kids were eager to please him, but they always cut up a notch when he wasn’t around.
Niall offered a hand and you graciously took it. You sat at the table with the kids, Eddie cradled in your arms as you fed him and directed your husband from all the way across the kitchen on how to cut the sandwiches, explaining that only one shouldn’t have crust on it. Hannah hated crust, she even hated the word crust. You didn’t get it, it was all just bread. Niall snickered, claiming he knew what to do.
Plates of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches sided with potato chips were passed around the table. They all dove in as soon as their plates were set in front of them.
“Slow down, can’t have you all choking at once.” You heard Niall joke.
You didn’t look up to know the girls were stuffing their faces. Your eyes were settled on the infant in your arms. Eddie looked up at you with crystal blue eyes, as clear as his fathers. He looked the most like Niall out of the five.
From outside of the house, you could hear a vehicle. It was almost hard to miss, the sound of the breaks squealing all through the neighborhood, along with the sound of your neighbors mailboxes being slammed shut. It was that time of the day when the mailman, or woman, did their rounds. Katie jumped in her seat. She loved the mailman, or mail woman. She often told you that’s what she wanted to be when she grew up. Retrieving the mail from the mailbox was actually listed as a household chore. Katie lived and breathed for whenever it was her turn to go out and get the mail from the mailbox.
“Mail’s here!” She jumped up from her seat, abandoning her food, and sprinted to the front door. It was useless for you to tell her to stop and get back in her seat because she passed you in a millisecond.
Unfortunately for Katie, Niall was a lot faster. He caught her from under her arms and carried her back, plopping back into her seat and scooting her close to the table as if she weighted nothing.
“Not today, Missy Ma’am.” Niall said as he did so. “Sit and eat.”
Katie put on a subtle frown and went back to eating her food. Juliet quickly swallowed her food to speak.
“Daddy, can I go get it this time?” She asked.
She almost never got the mail, the job almost never went to anyone else except Katie. Juliet’s main chore was to put toys away, including her sisters and now her little brothers. Though Eddie was just born a few weeks ago, he didn’t have as many toys as she did. For Eddie, Juliet dragged his swing out of the way and made sure it was turned off to save the battery.
“Next time, my Jewel. Eat your lunch. You can do it tomorrow.” Niall promised her.
“Da, there’s no mail on Sundays!” Hannah reminded him. Niall gently slapped his forehead.
“Right you are. On Monday, then.” Niall nodded and winked.
He quickly put on his slippers and stepped out to get the mail from the box. In less than a minute, he returned with white envelopes in hand. Niall sorted through them as he locked up and kicked her slippers off. Most of them were bills addressed to Niall, and a magazine for you. Niall set it gently in front of you, his mail next to yours.
The kitchen was peaceful as everyone ate, Eddie drifting off to sleep and you mindlessly looking at the pictures in the magazine. Vivian was on her phone, as per usual, barely speaking a word but her food was gone. Niall took her plate and washed it. You lightly frowned and complained how there was nothing interesting in your subscribed magazine anymore and reminded yourself to cancel your subscription. Hannah wanted to know if she could read it, and then Juliet asked if she could when Hannah was done. You gave the magazine up, Juliet sitting oddly in her seat to look at the same pages Hannah was looking through.
There wasn’t much conversation, everyone occupied in their own little world. You snuggled Eddie just a little bit longer, rubbing the top of his head and feeling his fine hair against your fingertips. Niall was looking out the kitchen window, examining the backyard. He’d have to cut the grass soon.
Katie’s eyes absentmindedly looked down at the envelopes that were rested next to her. She knew her address by heart. You and Niall stressed how important it was for her to know where she lived, also her parents phone numbers. Her teacher taught a lesson about it in school, associated with how to properly write and address a letter. Katie recognized the numbers, the street name, and the postal code instantly. Then she was stumped. There was a name on the front that she did not know, a first and last name. The last name she also knew because it was hers. Was she missing something?
There was mommy and daddy, Vivian, Hannah, Juliet, and Eddie, and herself, running through everyone in the household. She sat to herself for a moment, swimming in a pool of confusion. Katie was dying of curiosity.
“Who’s Ni-ale?” She asked out loud.
If it wasn’t for the sleeping baby in your arms, you would have burst out into laughter. This was funny for two reasons. The first reason because Niall having his name mispronounced, whether on accident or on purpose, was his number one pet peeve. If it was an accident, Niall would give an awkward chuckle and and correct the mistake. If it was done on purpose, he would huff loudly and ignore it, sometimes shoot a sarcastic remark back or something just as annoying. You particularly loved to get under Niall’s skin that way. Neal, Noel, Nail, Napoleon, Nickle you’ve called him everything except Niall. It drove him absolutely nuts.
The second reason why you found this absolutely hilarious because of the shock factor when kids find out that their parents have their own names besides mom and dad. You and Niall have already been through this when Vivian was much younger. She cried all day, claiming she felt lied to. As of right now, she was sucked into the world of Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat, whatever the hell she was so occupied with.
Since Vivian, you’ve obviously have had three other children, and they were all about to get an earth shattering reality check.
“Who?” You asked, pretending not to understand what Katie was saying.
“Who is Nay-all?” Katie read, to the best of her ability, straight off the envelope. You pressed your lips together trying not to laugh.
Niall’s head had turned from daydreaming out of the window to look at you, giving you a discrete stink eye as you silently died of laughter.
“I believe that says Niall.” He corrected. It was very hard to get mad at his daughter, one of the brightest stars in his life. Niall was generally slow to anger, and if he learned one thing from having five children and a four of them being daughters, it was how to be patient.
“Who’s that?” Suddenly Hannah and Juliet were engaged in conversation. Their heads turned to Niall for an explanation.
“That’s me, that’s my name.”
Juliet looked to Hannah, as if she was silently asking “Did you know this?” Hannah looked back at her, widening her eyes and signaling “No, I didn’t.” Katie blinked, looking down at the envelope and back at her dad.
“No it’s not.” She said practically. You accidentally let a giggle slip, admiring the scene unfolding in front of you.
“Yes it is, darlin’. That’s my real name.” Niall confirmed, hiding a smile.
It was obvious that this was a serious moment to them, but Niall couldn’t help but smile at his girls when they were learning something new, or in general. Smiling in their faces and laughing at them would be considered rude to him.
“Who calls you that?” Juliet wanted to know. She sure didn’t call him that. Everyone always called him Da, Dad, or Daddy.
“Has your name always been Neal?” Katie carefully asked, still coming to grips with this new information.
“For as long as I can remember, and it’s Niall. Not Neal.”
You sat back and watched the three gang up on their dad, pondering with questions about his identity. You called him Niall in front of the girls, all the time you thought, but probably not enough for them to pick up on. You mostly used dad or daddy. There was no way you could keep holding Eddie in your arms without waking him up from your stifling giggles. You sat him in the swing.
“Who gave you that name?” Hannah asked.
“My parents did, as we gave you your names.” Niall mentioned, a good example. They understood that.
“Why don’t we call you Niall?” Juliet pondered.
“Because children shouldn’t call their parents by their first name.” He explained.
“I don’t know, they just shouldn’t.” Niall shrugged.
“Can we call you Niall now?” Katie was sitting on her knees, hoping that she could.
“No, don’t do that.”
“Because you shouldn’t.”
“I’m not gonna play the Why Game with you lot.” Niall chuckled. Katie laughed, she had your laugh. It was a beautiful sound, his children laughing was music to Niall’s ears, but not quite as breathtaking as the laughs theirs originated from.
You sat in your seat, taking in the debate between a three kids and a man going on forty. It made your heart swell with love and affection for everyone in the room, seeing how fascinated the girls were with Niall and seeing how gentle and patient he was with them, even when he was outnumbered and faced with one of his ticks.
“I already knew that.” Vivian finally chimed in.
“Ah, she speaks!” You teased.
“I know mommy’s name too.” She mentioned. The trio turned, the spotlight now on you.
Vivian was the one who wanted to prove herself, to prove what she already knew and learned and what she could do. She never missed a moment where she could give her two cents on something.
“Let’s see if you guys can guess it.” You offered. Now it was Niall’s turn to watch a lifechanging scene unfold.
You motioned for the magazine that was still open and sitting in front of Hannah. She passed it to you. You flipped to the cover and slid it in front of Katie, pointed to where it was addressed to you. Katie looked over the words, pronouncing slowly as she did so. Finally, she got it, and she got it right.
“You’re absolutely right. Got it on the first try!” You praised her, patting her on the top of her head.
“That’s a pretty name, I like it.” Juliet complimented. You humbly thanked her.
“See, I knew that. I also know your middle names, and mommy’s maiden name as well. You told me once, and I remembered.” Vivian slightly bragged.
“Let’s not get carried away with the names.” Niall jumped in.
Niall rounded the table to adjust Katie in her seat, who had shifted to sitting on her knees and practically climbed onto the table, probably too excited to sit still. She ate neatly, her sitting habits were a mess. He tapped her shoulders, reminding her to sit on her bottom like an actual human being. Niall scooted her closer to the table again and adjusted her plate, with a sandwich that had one bite in it and all of her potato chips gone, in front of her.
I’ve never been this scared in my life. This morning I woke up early to go get Teddy and we watched the teletubbies. We were cuddled on the couch and Teddy was sipping his chocolate milk when Sirius woke up. He came through the door looking really tired… and pale.
“Goodmorning honey… You look pale, are you okay?” I said, siting up.
Sirius opened his mouth to talk but he instantly fell to the floor.
“Sirius?!” I yelled, running to his side.
He was unconscious. I tried to shake him but he wouldn’t wake up. At least he still had a pulse.
“Sirius.. Babe wake up please! Sirius wake up!” I said, shaking him.
“Dadda?” Teddy said, worry in his eyes.
“It’s okay baby.. Can you get me my wand please?” I said as Teddy grabed my wand that was resting on the table.
“C'mere baby, it’s okay.. do you have your plushie with you?” I asked him.
He nodded and held the stuffed animal close to his chest.
“Okay hold me close alright? We need to get Padda to the hospital.. Can you do that for me honey?” I asked, feeling my heartbeat quicken.
He nodded again and i held him close to me. I took Sirius’ hand and the next thing I knew, we were in St-Mungos.
“I need help please!” I yelled so someone could take care of him.
A lady and a man ran to me and put Sirius’ unconcious body on a barrow. The lady asked me some questions while she took his pulse and they left in a hurry, pushing my husband away from me. The next thing I knew, I was alone with Teddy in the waiting room.
“Dadda?” Teddy asked, tears running down his cheeks.
“Oh it’s okay baby. I’m here.. Padda will be okay alright?” I said, my own eyes getting teary.
“But.. why are you crying?” Teddy said with his little baby voice and his shaking bottom lip.
“I just got scared that’s all honey.. Everything will be alright..” I said, not even believing my own words.
I gave a call to James and Lily so they could come and get Teddy. I didn’t want him to stay here, traumatized. James and Lily arrived a few seconds after our call. They both looked so worried. James was holding something in a blanket and I assumed it was Harry.
“Where is he? Is he okay?” James asked.
“I-I don’t know..” i said, trying not to cry.
Lily took Teddy in her arms and tried to calm him.
“He’ll be fine.. He’s strong.” James said, hugging me.
“I’m s-so scared..” I cried.
“He’ll be fine.. He’s in good hands..” James said.
“Lily.. Can you take Teddy home with you? I don’t want him to see all of this..” I asked her.
“Okay.. but call me when you have any news..” She said, taking Harry in her other arm.
“Dadda?” Teddy said.
“It’s okay honey. I’ll stay here with uncle James and we will wait for Padda okay? I’ll come and get you the minute I can my love.” I said, giving him a kiss on the forehead.
“No.. I want to stay with you..” He said, his eyes getting glossy.
“I know baby.. I know.. I’ll be with you soon I promise.”
I took a deep breath and looked at his sad little eyes. He was asking for hope without knowing it.
“Yes.. With Padda..”
“You promise?” He asked, his small hand in mine.
“I promise. I love you my little angel. Now go have fun with Lily and Harry.” I said, trying to cheer him up.
“Okay… but can you give Padda my plushie? It will keep him safe and give him courage.” Teddy said, handing me his stuffed puppy.
“I will baby. He’ll be happy to have it with him.”
“I love you Dadda.”
“I love you too Teddy.”
And then Lily, Harry and my little Teddy disapeared. I colapsed on my knees and started crying uncontolably. James took me in his arms and whispered in my ear, that everything was going to be alright. My Sirius. My love. I just wanted to hold him…
Once I calmed down, he called Regulus to let him know what was going on. He also came rushing in a few minutes later. When he saw me, he hugged me close to him. I felt like I was hugging Sirius in some way.. They look so much alike..
After about 3 hours of waiting and stressing out, a lady came in with a note pad. James, Regulus and I instantly stood up.
“Are you all related to Mr.Black?” The lady asked,
“I’m his husband..” I said.
“And I’m his brother..” Regulus said.
“Well.. I’m his best friend..” James added.
“Okay.. He just woke up, he’s doing good. You guys can go see him in a few minutes.”
My heart started beating again. He was okay. I sighted and Regulus and James both hugged me.
“I need to tell Teddy.. He must be so worried..” I said.
“I’ll go get him, don’t worry about it… Go get our Padfoot.” James smiled, his hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you Prongs..” I said.
The lady came back in and told me to come in.
When I walked in, Sirius was there. He was laying on the bed his eyes half opened. The machine was beeping to the sound of his heartbeat and he had and I.V. In his hand. When he saw me, he smiled.
“Hey..” he said, his voice raspy.
I walked up to him and gave him a kiss. I brushed my hand on his cheek, as if I needed to know this was real.
“I was so worried..” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks again.
“I’m sorry.. The doctor said I got dehydrated and my bloodpressure went down really quickly so I collapsed..” He said, talking really slowly.
“Are you in pain?” I asked.
“No.. I just feel really tired.. Where’s Teddy?” He asked, looking around for his son.
“Lily took care of him. He’s on his way with James.. He was so scared for you.. Oh, he told me to give you this..” I said, handing Sirius the stuffed puppy Teddy always loved.
“He said that it would protect you and give you courage..” I smiled.
“Merlin he’s adorable..” Sirius chuckled.
“I love you.. You scared me.” I said, kissing his lips once more.
“I love you too.. I’m sorry.” He said.
We then heared small steps coming into the room.
“Padda!” Teddy said, running to the bed.
I picked him up so he could sit on the bed and hug Sirius.
“You Okay Padda?” Teddy asked.
“I’m okay baby.. I’m sorry I scared you. Your little Padfoot puppy gave me some courage, thank you for letting me keep it.” Sirius smiled.
“You needed him more than me.. i love you Padda.. You too Dadda..” Teddy said, smiling to both of us.
“Oh we love you too baby bear.. We love you so so much..” Sirius said.
Regulus, James and Lily got their turn to talk with Sirius. They were all relieved. The nurse asked us to stay until next morning so they could check on Sirius.
“You can go home babe, I’ll be fine..” Sirius said.
“For the number of times you stayed with me at the hospital wing, You should let me stay..” I smirked.
He smiled and kissed me.
That night, we watched a movie all cuddled in Sirius’ hospital bed. Sirius and I were side by side, and Teddy on my chest. I got Sirius some flowers from the gift shop. He liked them a lot. He fell asleep with Teddy cuddled against him when night came. I watched my two loves cuddling and smiled to myself. I got scared today, but everything was alright.