i started watching less than a month ago why do i already have such consuming feelings

It’s been something like six months or a year since I really embraced the label “asexual” for myself, instead of thinking I had to say I was bi because I’d experienced attraction a handful of times in my life. And increasingly over the past few months I’ve noticed a knee-jerk negative reaction when I read “LGBT” as an umbrella acronym for queer. This morning, I think I finally figured out why.

LGBT erases large swathes of the Queer community, myself included.

When I was 8 years old, the other girls started talking about boys and wearing make up and I had *no fucking clue* what the big deal was, and went from having a large friend group to having no one in the space of a few months because I flat-out didn’t understand why those things mattered. That made me an outsider, and I was confused and heart broken but I’d always known I was different - I liked Star Trek, I liked books, I liked Monty Python - and I’d seen all the after school specials about what happens to dorky kids. It was only a matter of time before they realized I wasn’t like them. I accepted it, and found comfort in the few friends I had left.

(keep reading…)

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#247: 'Sneak Up On Us'

Sneak Up On Us- One Shot #247

(+past one shots)

Click the (***) as you see them, to add some visuals to your reading experience. 

Something was off. You could feel it. It rattled your bones and sat low and heavy in your core. You’d woken up that morning, next to him, against scratchy hotel sheets, and to the sound of pouring rain. He was still asleep when you woke, breathing softly into the pillow. Exhausted from the previous day’s events. Small venue shows around the U.K. and Ireland to stay fresh while the band worked on putting new music together. The travel wasn’t long or too strenuous, and home was just a quick flight, or in most cases, train ride, away, should it be missed. A few dates here and there for a handful of weeks. He needed this, and if you were honest with yourself, so did you. You and Darcy joined him on weekends and days that she didn’t have Nursery, and it made you feel a little more a home. A little less distracted by the consuming, if not irrational, fear that you wouldn’t ever have another baby.  

Since the miscarriage just about six months ago, you’d dreaded being alone. You’d clung to Harry even more than you already did. He had been a lifeline, when everything felt like it was falling apart on you. Crumbling slowly, one piece at a time, until there was nothing left. He’d been crumbling too; he had just perfected the act of staying solid and strong for you. He’d left his own heartbreak, for the shower, letting the saline of his tears pool with the water as it slid from his body. Or a few moments hidden away in the closet as he dressed, where he could gather himself back together again. It had started to feel easier to move on. The pain, more of an ache you could numb, if you tried.   

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deathbyglamour-bot-deactivated2  asked:

In which Dirk is an angel and is assigned to protect Jake English, possible the most helpless human on the planet? Always almost dying, that Jake English. (Dirk loves Jake's dangerous spirit)

Felt like trying one of these again!  Available on AO3 here!

“You’re doing WHAT?”

“I told you, I’m going to sky-dive into the island volcano!” Jake responded cheerfully to his dear friend Jane as they chatted on the phone.

“Jake, don’t you think that’s a little bit TOO dangerous?” Jane asked, sounding incredulous and exasperated.  “Remember that time your parachute didn’t open?”

“Yes, and by some stroke of luck, all the island tree limbs seemed to reach out and grab me, breaking my fall!” Jake responded happily.

“Jake.  There aren’t going to be any trees when you fall down into a volcano!” Jane exclaimed. “Where do you plan to LAND?”

Jake paused.  “Oh right.  You have a good point there, Jane my dear!”

Jane sighed, audibly relieved.  “Please tell me you’ll never jump into the volcano, Jake.  There’s nothing but hot magma in there!”

“You drive a hard bargain, but all right,” Jake sighed.

The phone conversation finished and then Jake was left to his own devices in the middle of his deserted island.

Alone.  Always alone.

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hi guys! welcome to the first drabble in this little ‘in your atmosphere’ holiday drabble series. i’ll be posting a series of drabbles through time, all of them post part ten of the story. because who doesn’t love a little adventure into the future, right? thanks so much for being the most wonderful humans alive. i hope you enjoy part one of the series! i’ll be posting them sporadically from now until christmas. happy holidays, sugarplums!

new york to massachusetts – may 2020

Harry’s legs were jittering as he sat in the back of the Escalade, his fingers following the same anxious rhythm as they rapped against his thigh. The air conditioning was blowing straight onto his face but he didn’t really notice, his mind somewhere else entirely. He insisted that he accompany the driver to the airport, sacrificing his day off at the hotel with the boys to wait outside of the airport. The flight had been delayed due to rain in New York. She said that she would take the train instead, but Harry figured a flight would the quickest way.

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Letters (pt. 4)

part onepart twopart three

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Summary: It’s been months since you left the Avengers base, and moved into a little apartment. Everything seems to be at peace except for, well, you. After finding an envelope between your windows, old feelings begin to resurface.

Words: 1,616 lol double numeros

Warnings: emotions everywhere, angst

Notes: Things that are in italics are memories/flashbacks. Only Bucky throughout this part, guyssss. Also, I’m sorry if this gets confusing with going back and forth with time. I think this is the last time; I did it to explain what Reader was doing while Bucky was wherever, vise versa. After this, its all “real time.” Enjoy, let me know what you think? ~

3 Days Ago // Incognito

Bucky turned his body to the side, letting his legs hang off the mattress and placing his elbows on his upper thighs, gently cradling his head. The voice rang in his ears; sometimes he could hear complete sentences, and other times, just murmurs. It felt so close, like it was right in front of him. It’s not real. He got up and tossed on some clothes, pulling the hood over his head and tucking the keys into his pocket. Sighing, he looked over at the plastic alarm clock. 4:48 am.

Quietly, he locked the door to his small apartment and made his way out, walking down the sidewalk. As he looked around the empty street, flashes of memories appeared. Only for a few seconds would the flashbacks last. Almost all of them had her included. Who was she? He crinkled his eyebrows, tightly shutting his eyes in effort to try and remember more. Her laugh resonated in his thoughts, making Bucky unconsciously grin. He could see her smile; how it would widen when she saw a dog walk by, or when a cat allowed her to pet it. She loved all the little details in life.

The early hours of the morning were cold, making his breath visible in small foggy puffs. He could feel his heartbeat quicken as he made his way down the street. At the very end was a small park. Of course at these hours, this place was deserted. There was no sign of life yet. Buck looked around for some place to sit and found a bench near the swings. He pondered about, letting his eyes adjust to his surroundings. Almost immediately he made out a little grey jet attached on top of a thick coil. The quinjet. Another flashback came, and he found himself running towards the aircraft. Looking to his left, he could see someone alongside him. Steve.

Snapping out the trance, Bucky blinked a few times and stood back up. He walked over to the small playground, and climbed up the small stairs. The railings were cold to the touch, with a bit of wetness from the dew. He was no more than a couple feet high, but as he held the metal rails he could feel his head beginning to pound. As he looked down at the ground, a sense of panic erupted within him. Hastily, Bucky shut his eyes trying to avoid the memory but instead only encouraged it even more. Black armour slowly surrounded him, suffocating him. He frantically fought one by one, desperately trying to escape. Steve was there, Steve was… Helping.  A sigh of relief escaped his mouth as he carefully climbed down the little playground. God, he probably looks like a creep hanging around an empty playground for kids.

He went back onto the sidewalk and made his way back to his hideout. The thought of you slowly crept back into his mind, making his heart heavy. An overwhelming weight of feelings consumed him; yearning, frustration, lustful, agony, longing, heartache. He took his hands out of his pockets feeling the cool crisp air against his skin, not aware that his metallic hand was seeking something to grab. The soft hum of the arm caught his attention, and he remembered how you used to hold his hand. Bucky recalled all the times he tried to grab your hand with his right one, only for you to move to his left side and grabbing his metal hand. You made sure to let him know that you loved every part of him, even if he didn’t.

Once back inside away from the world, he plopped back onto the mattress and managed to sleep for a few hours. He didn’t dream about anything. When he woke up again, it wasn’t to the sound of your voice, but rather a busy street. The moonlight that previously shined between the blinds was now replaced with warm sunlight.

All throughout the morning, Bucky spent walking around a farmers market. It was roughly noon, and the streets were lively. As he ventured around the separate stands, the idea of what you were doing came to mind. He wanted to go back to you, back to the way things were before all of this but he couldn’t. Literally, every time he tried to remember where the Avengers Facility was, all he could think of was trees. Bucky wasn’t even sure if Steve and everyone else was still there.

He bought a few fruits and headed out for another walk. This time he opted for a different park, one that had trees scattered all over and filled with less people. Bucky walked around, observing the trees before finding one that was perfect to sit under. A view of the street was in front of him, but to his left and right, were all trees and peace. Carefully putting the small bag of fruits to his side, he took off his backpack and pulled out a notebook and pencil. Time bested him, and when he checked his watch, it was already 5:12 pm. He had spent all this time snacking and writing down things he remembered.

The sun was still out, but there was a noticeable change in the temperature. Wind would pick up and be a bit more cooler than the breeze before. Bucky finished the last sentence, and started packing up his things. His stomach growled, and placed his hand over it. Looking around for some place to stop at, he decided on a small little cafe. The lighting wasn’t bright so he didn’t have to worry about being noticed by anyone. He took a seat by the window, and watched as people occupied the sidewalks less and less.

The warm colours of the sky chilled into hues of pink, orange, blue and purple. He ordered something to eat, and gazed into the windows of other small restaurants across the street. That’s when he saw you. At first, he didn’t recognize you. Maybe it was because of the time, but once you sat inside with who he assumed was a friend, it was clear. The lamp from above the table illuminated the very features that he reminisced.

When his food arrived, he purposely took extra time to finish it. As he watched you from across the street, his heart began fluttering and a small lump appeared in his throat. It was really you; that smile put the stars to shame, and in those eyes, he saw his future so clear that crystal balls envied. Your hair was slightly different from what he could recall, but he didn’t care. It was you. A wide smile erupted from his lips as he watched you hold small talk. Suddenly, you and your friend got up, hugged at the entrance and went your own ways.

A feeling of urgency took over as he shoved the rest of his food into his mouth, leaving a $20 bill on the table and headed out to follow you.

“Y/N” he whispered to himself, unable to contain the smile growing on his face.

You were no more than thirty feet in front of him by now, still completely oblivious to him. Before Bucky could sprint and surprise you, the flashbacks popped back into mind. You were crying, and begging him. Your hand on his cheek, telling him you can wait. Bucky stopped in his tracks as you continued to walk ahead.

If you actually love me, you wouldn’t be doing this Buck…

“What was I doing?” he thought, pressuring himself to remember more. “Why was she crying?”

So this is is then? This is goodbye?

“Shit, no, no. What did I do?” he mumbled under his breath.

I love you James.. As you are now..

Bucky watched as you slowly left his sight, turning the corner. The small lump in his throat grew and his vision became blurred. Did he really leave you? Is that why you were crying? Bucky furrowed his brows, trying to remember more details but nothing came up. He couldn’t believe his memories, there’s no way he would leave you. Especially like that.

He rubbed his eyes, and started walking the same path as you. His original plan to go up to you was tossed to the side; he couldn’t show his face to you after what he did months ago. There’s no way he would be able to come back into your life just like that. As his quickened his steps, he made it in time to watch you go inside this apartment building. He moved to the other side of the street and watched carefully to see which lights would turn on.

Just as he expected, the lights of a room on the second floor lit up. Quickly, he grabbed his notebook and pencil, and sloppily composed a letter. It wasn’t thought through completely, but he didn’t care. Bucky needed you to know that he was here, as creepy as that may sound. Even if you moved on already, he didn’t want to regret not letting you know.

When he finished, he folded the letter and dug around his bag. He found an old envelope, smoothed it out on a pole and wrote your initials on it. “It’ll have to do” he thought. With the letter in his mouth, he carefully scanned the building for a way up. He looked around him, making sure there was no one witnessing before cautiously scaling the building. As he got up to your window, he shoved it between the pane. After making sure it wasn’t going anywhere, he jumped down and headed back to his apartment.

Looking back over at your window, he sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

any thoughts? please?

tagging: @winchester-with-wings @mattymattymerduck  @procrastinatingvirgo @bovaria @wakandasoldier @fallen-stark @etherealbarnes @just-call-me-mrs-captain @jarnesbrnes @assembletheimagines @buchananbarnestrash @avengerofyourheart @juliagolia87 @greeneyedgem85 @beccaanne814-blog @matteblackvevo @annwhojumps @yellowtheremarvelfan @marvel-lucy @hellomissmabel @neverenough24 @palaiasaurus64 @widowvinter @knittingknerdy @ilovebeingjoyful @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli @bsicthought @wondergirl0511 @damnbuckyishot @matteblackvevo @masterlists-yourwelcome @strange-polish-lass @fallen-stark @creideamhgradochas @mitra-k-w let me know to be tagged/untagged

Luke Hemmings fluff - Daylight

This is based off of Daylight by Maroon 5. I highly suggest you listen to it before reading this, it’s such a good song and it sets the mood :)

requeted: no

Word count: 2693

warnings: none 

Tell me what you think about it :) 


Here I am waiting; I’ll have to leave soon, why am holding on?

The room was silent. The only sound came from their feet as they shuffled around the room collecting his clothes, folding them neatly before placing them into the trunk. 

None of them said a word until they both reached for the same, old t-shirt and had to look up at each other, finally letting their eyes meet. That had been a rare occurrence over the past couple of hours and the silence had started to suffocate both of them long ago, but none of them knew what to say, so they both kept their thoughts bottled up and their heads low.

(Y/N) took her eyes off of his blue ones, scared to look into them for too long in fear of filling him with more guilt. She looked down at the wrinkled material before speaking softly.
“I…can I keep this?” she hesitated for a second before asking him.
His heart clenched at how small her voice sounded and he couldn’t help but suck in a breath when he looked up at her. His eyes trailed down the side of her face. From her beautiful eyes that were surrounded my thick lashes, down to her softly tinted cheeks, to her small nose and stopped at her full lips.
She was so beautiful even when she was upset. He was so caught up in her, that it took him a moment to voice his response.
“Of course, baby…” his voice came out throaty, barely above a whisper. He watched as the sad girl in front of him pulled the shirt out from under his fingers and hugged it into her chest, burying her nose in it. She couldn’t hide it. She couldn’t hide how much she hated this, and how much guilt she felt for hating it. It wasn’t that she was a bad liar or bad at putting up a façade. He just knew her too well.
He could tell by the way she spoke, the way she moved, the way she looked at him. He knew she had formed a habit of biting on to her bottom lip, when she lied. He knew she tried to avoid eye contact. She didn’t want to fill him with guilt for leaving…once again. But the guilt…it consumed him, at times. He hated seeing her like that. He hated having to leave her behind, but they both knew it was a part of his job.
Not being able to hold himself back, he stepped closer to her before pulling her close into his body and embracing her in his arms. They both let out a shaky breath. It felt so good to be this close, which was why they hadn’t gone near each other every since the sun had started to set. None of them wanted to get reminded of what they would be missing for the next couple of months, but Luke couldn’t keep his hands off of her any longer. She looked so fragile and small when she stood there, holding onto his shirt for dear life. Her hair was a mess and her face bare. That’s when she looked the prettiest to him.

(Y/N) let go of the shirt she was holding and latched onto the one he was wearing as she buried her face into his chest. Inhaling his scent and focusing all her thoughts on his touch, she tried to store every single detail in her mind for later. She wanted to remember everything about him. The way he smelled. How his body felt against hers. His hands on her body. His breath fanning over her hair. His heartbeat against hers. She didn’t want him to go. She wanted him to stay with her so she could fall asleep with his arm around her every night, so she could wake up to his tired eyes, messy hair and raspy voice every morning, so she could kiss him whenever she wanted, just because she wanted to. But that also made her feel deep guilt. This was his dream and he loved doing it. She hated herself for not being able to hide her emotions. She should be happy for him but in stead she was selfish and greedy for wanting to keep him to herself and not share him with the rest of the world. She wanted so badly to be able to put up an act that wouldn’t make him feel guilty for leaving, but she couldn’t…he knew her too well.

She had been holding back her sniffles for a while now, but when he embraced her, she couldn’t help but let the tears spill down her cheeks. Oh God, she would miss him so much. She really hated to cry, but she was already feeling lonely, so she closed her eyes and let her tears leak onto his shirt as he held her tighter, placing his lips on top of her head.
He hated to watch her cry. He hated to see her hurt. He wanted to tell her to stop crying, but how could he, when he too wanted to cry just as badly?

We knew this day would come, we knew it all along, how did it come so fast?

They had done this so many times before, it was always the same old routine. Everything had already been said long ago. I’m going to miss you so much. I don’t want you to leave. I love you. Wasn’t it obvious? It was, but he would tell her again and again and again jut because it felt like the only way to relieve some of the stinging in his chest.

It felt like she had just gotten him back. It felt like yesterday when he spotted her in the crowded airport as he looked around until their eyes finally met. The biggest smile had spread on her beautiful face as she had hurried as much as she could through the sea of people, tripping a couple of times, before she threw herself in his open arms.
She had also cried then. But those tears were not them same as the ones that were streaming down her face now. The tears back then had been happy.
“You’re here,” she had whispered as she had held his face in her delicate hands and traced hips lips with her thumb. In that moment, nothing mattered to them. He was able to hold her in his arms again and it felt like all his problems and worries had vanished into thin air. She was standing right there in front of him and he couldn’t help but lean down and place his lips on hers, tasting her.
That night, after they had eaten dinner at his parents’ house, they went back to their shared flat and stayed up all night between the sheets, sweating and whimpering and kissing and touching.

That was less than a month ago. 24 days to be exact, but he had come to the realization that no measure of time with her would be enough. He would never get enough of her. He would never get enough of the way she looked at him, the way her body felt pressed against his, the way her lips tasted, the way she would whimper his name. He would never get enough.
As much as he hated it, sometimes, he swore, he would rather be at home fighting with her, than being away. Just to be in her presence. Just to be able to reach over and touch her. But this was his job and his dream. He did love what he did; he just wished she could be there with him. But he would never ask her to leave her life behind to spend her days in hotel rooms and airports.
(Y/N) was trying not to think of how much she would miss the blond boy with the beautiful blue eyes. She was trying to just focus on being able to hold him throughout the night, but it was just so hard and she couldn’t help but cry.
It was so hard to come home from work to an empty flat. She would try to distract herself by visiting her parents or going out with her friends or putting on a movie, but he was always there in the back of her mind. She knew he wouldn’t be there to hold her until she fell asleep or kiss her nose when she woke up in the morning. She would be all alone, and that made her grasp onto his shirt a little harder, as if he would stay, if she just held on tight enough.

Luke let one of his hands travel up to stroke her hair while the other was rubbing up and down her back, trying to calm her down.

“I don’t…I don’t want you to leave,” she confessed into his chest. “I want you to stay here with me,” she sniffled.

He did want to stay. Of course he wanted to stay with her, she was so precious to him. But he also did want to go, which made him feel guilt. It was so hard. He knew that no matter what he did, he would end up letting someone down.
“I’m sorry, baby…” he whispered and held her body tighter. “I wish I could be with you all the time.”    

She let out a sigh, as her crying seemed to stop before she lowly looked up at him. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before she let her eyes meet his.
“No, I’m sorry…I’m sorry for saying that,” she whispered and let her fingers play with the buttons of his flannel.
“I want you to go out and live your dream,” she tried forcing out a smile but her chest was hurting too much for her to be able to.

He let out a sigh before placing his lips on her forehead and closing his eyes.
(Y/N) too closed her eyes and savoured the moment. Her fingers undid the buttons of his flannel as her hands worked their way down his torso, revealing more of his skin to her.
“Let’s go to bed,” Luke spoke with his lips against her skin. She looked at him with big, worried eyes.

“I don’t want to sleep,” she protested and grabbed his open flannel between her hands again.
“We don’t have to sleep, baby,” he said and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I just want to hold you.”

This is our last night, but it’s late and I’m trying not to sleep

‘Cause I know, when I wake I will have to slip away

He let her push his flannel down his shoulders and throw it away before pulling her with him onto the queen sized bed. She lay with her head resting on his bare chest as her legs intertwined with his. This was something they often did; her wearing an old t-shirt of his and him in his basketball shorts, as they lay tangled together in between the sheets. But tonight was different. Tonight, there was no carefree laughter or dirty jokes. They just lay there, grasping onto the moment and the feeling of their bodies against each other.

Luke let his hand slip under her loose shirt and drew lazy patterns on her warm skin with his fingertips.

And when the daylight comes I’ll have to go

But, tonight I’m ‘gonna hold you so close

‘Cause in the daylight, we’ll be on our own

But, tonight I need to hold you so close


“Luke…?” she spoke his name softly.

“Hmm?” he hummed back, not taking his eyes off of the ceiling.

The room fell silent again. She did this quite often; said his name just to hear him respond, to make sure he was really there. No amount of phone- or Skype calls would be able to replace the way it made her warm on the inside, when he was right there beside her and she didn’t have to hear his voice through a phone or computer.
Luke shifted his eyes to look down at her and watched as she silently traced her fingers across his bare chest.
He reached down and took a hold of her hand and pulled it against his mouth, placing small, delicate kisses on each of her fingers.
(Y/N) closed her eyes to prevent the tears from falling down her cheeks as she hid her face in his chest.

She would miss him so much, everything about him. His soft lips, his beautiful eyes, his embrace, his calming voice, his body, his mind, everything. She would just miss being with him. Even if they sat in silence, not even touching. Just to have him there made her feel calm.


Here I am starring, at your perfection in my arms; so beautiful.


“It’s okay, baby,” he assured her. He knew she was trying not to cry. “It’s okay. I’m still here. Right here.”

Her breathing started to become even again as he held her a little closer.
“Look at me,” he whispered and tried pushing some of the hair out of her face. “I want to see you.”
She sniffled before looking up at him. Her eyes were red. He ran his fingers across her eyelids and further down her face.
“Don’t cry, beautiful girl,” he told her and she couldn’t help but smile a little. She loved it when he called her beautiful. Especially when she could see the admiration in his eyes when he looked at her.
“Lay back for me, baby,” he said before slowly pushing her onto her back and resting on his hands and knees above her.

They looked at each other for a moment before she slid her hand to the back of his neck and pulled his lips onto hers. He kissed her hungrily, trying to store the taste of her lips in the back of his mind. She couldn’t help but whimper into his mouth. The kiss was urgent and filled with need as she grasped onto him and kissed him with all she had.
He pulled his lips away from hers to give them both a chance to catch their breaths. Leaning his forehead against hers, he spoke softly.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he told her, even though they both knew it was a lie. They had to tour all of Europe and then all of America before she would get to hold him in her arms again. She would have to go at least three or four months without him. She looked at his beautiful eyes and just nodded before caressing his cheek with her hand.
“Maybe you can come out and join me for a while…” he spoke slowly and (Y/N) just stared at him and wondered if he’d still love her when he came back. She closed her eyes and kissed him again as they explored each other’s bodies one last time before he’s leave.


The sky is getting bright, the stars are burnin’ out.

Somebody slow it down.

This is way too hard, ‘cuz I know when the sun comes up I will leave

This is my last glance that will soon be memories


“I love you,” he whispered as he held her face in his large hands. She whispered it back; scared to speak any louder in cease her voice would break.
It was early morning and the sun was starting to swallow the darkness meaning it was time fore him to leave.

She stood with her bare legs and puffy eyes as his trunks were carried into the van, waiting in front of their flat.

“I’ll call you when I get th-“ she cut him off by letting her lips press to his. She stood on her tippy toes and poured all the love she had for him into the kiss.
“Don’t forget about me,” the girl whispered.

“I would never,” the blond boy responded, and placed his palm over his heart, both of them left with nothing but memories as he walked out the door and left the girl to stand on her own.  

Shut Up And Drive Pt 2

a/n: you guys wanted a second part so here it is :) 

The rest of the drive to the lake was awkward at best. Somewhere in between the time it took you to redress and straighten yourselves up, the sexual haze that had clouded you both began to dissolve. Now that it had, it seemed your thoughts came through more clearly. Most of them sounded like:

What the hell did we just do?!

And some of them, the ones that scared you, sounded like…

And why am I thinking of doing it again?

No words were spoken for the duration of the ride. No music was played either. Your thoughts were soundtrack enough.

In fact you were so consumed with your thoughts that when Harry’s deep timbre suddenly broke the silence you jumped. You’d almost forgotten you weren’t alone.

“You’re going to chew your lip off if you keep doing that.”


His eyes glanced at your lips that had been caught between your teeth the better half of the last twenty minutes.

You released you lip and looked away when you noticed his eyes darken and zero in on that simple gesture.

“We’re almost there,” he said a couple moments later.

You nodded absentmindedly, enjoying the wind whipping through your fingers that dangled outside the car.

“You don’t have to worry about me saying anything. So you can feel free to flirt with Louis all day. I won’t stop you.”

At first you thought you hadn’t heard him right, “Excuse me?”

“I know you’re rethinking and regretting what happened. Just wanted to let you know you don’t have to worry about me saying anything.”

You squinted your eyes as you stared at his profile.

“Okay, your obsession with my non-existent feelings for Louis is really starting to annoy me, Styles. And you have no idea what I’m thinking, so you can stop right there,” you stated firmly.

“I could make a pretty good guess” he muttered, but you heard nevertheless.

“And you’d be wrong,” you muttered right back.

It was only a moment of quiet between you two before you erupted, “You know, you’re really infuriating!”

At his look of confusion and shock you continued, “I don’t like Louis anymore! It was a stupid little crush and it’s gone! And even if I did like him I don’t know why you care so fucking much, Jesus Christ!”

You leaned back in your seat after your outburst. A fleeting pang of guilt consumed you, but then it was gone. In all seriousness, Harry’s constant nagging when it came to your association with Louis was enough to make you want to pull out your hair.

It was only then you noticed you had arrived. You saw everyone in the distance, socializing, setting up camp for the day and already having an all around great time. You couldn’t wait for him to stop the car, just to get away from him. One moment you couldn’t get enough of him and the next you couldn’t get away fast enough.

“You really don’t have a clue, do you?” was all he said.

“Me?!” you asked incredulously.

“I don’t know how more obvious I can be before you get it,” he seemed to be containing his own frustration as he parked and shut off the car.

“What are you talking about?” you were wholly confused at this point.

“I basically spelled it out for you, Y/N. If you can’t figure it out by now then don’t bother,” were his parting words as he exited the car and walked off.

You remained seated still as confused as ever. What the hell was he on about? Just as you were about to shrug it off and leave the car your phone lit up on the seat next to you. You picked it up, intending to read the notification when you realized this wasn’t your phone. For one, where you were usually prompted for a passcode, this phone slid straight to the home screen in one swipe.  Harry must have mistakenly left with your phone, leaving his behind.

The wallpaper froze you. It was you. A picture of you laughing, that you never even knew had been taken, was mapped across the screen. Harry’s screen. Why were you his wallpaper?

And then things started making sense while simultaneously puzzling you.

You hustled out of the car and sped in the direction he’d taken off in. It didn’t take long to spot him. He’d wandered around to another bank of the lake, away from everyone else. He was perched on a rock with his back to you.

“You forgot your phone,” was all you said.

You marched over there in search of answers, but as soon as you approached him you didn’t know how to broach the topic.

He turned to face you, but didn’t say anything so you took that as your cue to awkwardly step forward and explain.

“You left with mine.”

He reached into his pocket and produced a phone identical to the one in your hand. He glanced at it before holding it out for you.

“Right. Sorry.”

You walked right up to him and replaced your phone with his.

“Why am I your wallpaper?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

So much for tact…

You watched as he raked his hands through the same curls your hands were fisted in less than an hour before.

His eyes refused to meet yours as they stared out at the water.

“On second thought, forget I asked,” you were about to walk back when his voice stopped you.

“Honestly, what did you think my response would be when you saw it?”

“I…” you were at a loss for words.

His eyebrows rose waiting for you to answer.

“I don’t know I was hoping you would say it was a joke or…I don’t know…” you trailed off pathetically.

“Well it’s not.”


“I like you, Y/N,” his words caused you to fall silent and his direct stare made you feel naked and exposed.

When you couldn’t summon the words to respond, he quickly ran his fingers through his hair before standing.

Just as he was about to leave you uttered out, “Why?”

He shrugged with furrowed brows, “What do you mean why? I didn’t choose to get feelings for you, Y/N. It’s not like I just up and decided one day to get butterflies every time you smiled. Pretty sure that’s not how it works,” his irritation sparked a bit of your own.

“Well, excuse me!  Don’t act like this is all my fault.”

“Oh, so I suppose it’s mine?”

“Could you not be an asshole for two seconds?” you snapped.

“Could you not be so bloody infuriating?”

“Ugh! You drive me crazy!”

In that moment you were aware that in the middle of the heated exchange you two had somehow ended up inches apart.

Before you could break the proximity his murmured reply came, “So do you.”

One second you were shouting and the next, your lips were occupied by his. Much like the first time there was no resistance. In fact, your arms snaked around his neck as his secured your hips. Tongues tangled and breaths became one as he resumed his seat on the rock and pulled you to sit atop him; resembling the position in the car you’d assumed not too long ago.

He broke the kiss then, to your chagrin, and leaned back to look at you. Your eyes fluttered open, meeting his playful gaze.

“Four months.”

“What?” you had no idea what he was talking about.

“I had you as my wallpaper for four months and you’ve only now figured it out. Took you long enough,” his smirk was teasing.

You rolled your eyes, and still couldn’t help but smile, “Shut up and kiss me.”

He leaned in, only too happy to oblige.