i started reading a real person fanfic and i usually dont because well yeah

i reblogged a post earlier abt touchy klance but its smth ive been thinking abt so much lately and im probably coming at it from a different angle than the op so. heres a goddamn essay, formatted entirely on mobile bc i hate myself.

first, keith:

  • hes a straightforward kinda guy, and he trusts his senses above all else. if he can see it, hear it, smell it, feel it, its real. hes hands on–metaphorically, but maybe also literally?
  • i think hes the sort to just… touch things sometimes. feeling is believing.
  • think of that scene at the party on arus where keith pokes lance and he falls over. or the Bonding Moment™ where he just goes and like, grabs lances hand.
  • also like every interaction with shiro. they touch each other so much and it comes from both sides.
  • he canonically doesnt like touching strangers, but friends? a-okay.
  • also touch starvation is a thing that he probably has.

now, lance:

  • i think him being physically affectionate is a common headcanon but?? i cant think of that many examples actually
  • mostly that scene where theyve got those space capri suns and hes leaning against hunk?
  • lance likes to sprawl, and Friends Are Furniture
  • BUT what i can think of are times when lance is totally chill with being touched. because hunk is pretty grabby/has no sense of boundaries and he doesnt seem to mind. i mean theyre both comfy with each other but mostly hunk initiates
  • big family –> no personal space, i guess

the sort of pre-conclusion to all this, is that keith touches deliberately, while lance is more passive about it–keith uses his hands, lance uses people as backrests/armrests/headrests

(also, kind of a lengthy sidenote, but for klance to be,, plausible,, lance needs some character development:

  • right now, to lance, keith is a rival, not a friend
  • if lance gains real confidence in himself (and not his false bravado, genuine confidence) he can stop like… projecting his insecurities onto keith
  • also the rest of the team but keith in particular, hence the rivalry. keith is kinda where lance wants to be right now
  • once he can think of them as equals–by gaining confidence in himself but also by recognizing that keith is only (mostly) human–they can leave the rivalzone and enter….. the Friendzone™
  • this is pretty much all on lance, though keiths actions could certainly help or hinder the process–but keith never instigates fights between them, only defends himself, and he doesnt always do that (im paraphrasing someone elses post here hfhhf)
  • uhh yeah the point is they gotta be friends first, i dont subscribe to that… i-hate-him-so-much-because-i-secretly-have-a-crush business soz)

so ANYWAY, actual conclusions:

  • the usual instigator of any physical contact?? is gonna be keith
  • like i said, hes straightforward. if he wants to hold lances hand hes just gonna… grab lances hand
  • hes probably also subconsciously craving physical contact because, again, touch starvation
  • lance mostly rolls with it but his idea of initiating touch is gonna be leaning against keiths shoulder or like, sprawling across his lap
  • hugging might be 50/50 though. its the middle ground lmao. i bet they hug differently though.
  • theyll work up to it slowly. starting with bumping shoulders and grabbing arms and working up to hugs and the aforementioned sprawling and platonic handholding
  • until it stops being platonic and then theyre just like… in constant contact all the time. such cuddles. wow.
  • thats a lame note to end on but ive spent all day on this damn essay and im done. read my fanfic b y e
Do You Want Fries with That?

Eren Jaeger wants to say that it’s the greasy cheeseburgers that keep him coming back, but he knows he’d be lying if he said it was anything other than that asshole working at the drive-thru window.

Word Count: 5,536

AO3 Link

The intercom cracks as a deep voice begins to emit through the cheap speakers. “Welcome to Maria’s. How may I take your order?”

“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.” There is a silence on the other end, and for a moment I think that maybe he has finally decided that I’m not worth a response. I’ll be a little disappointed if that’s the case, considering I worked really hard on this one. And by really hard, I mean I spent two minutes browsing the internet for pickup lines.  

Finally, the red light on the speaker glows, signaling that the intercom is in use. “I honestly thought they couldn’t get any worse, Jaeger. But, here you go, surprising me once again.” I am ninety-nine percent sure that is not a compliment, and that I should probably just save myself further embarrassment and drive away while I still can. But, then again I have been saying that for the past two months now. I’m so stubborn that my mom once told me she was surprised I hadn’t started ‘hee-hawing’. It’s a gift, what can I say? “And, that one doesn’t even make any goddamn sense.” If there is one question I want answered before I die, it isn’t ‘what’s the meaning of life?’. No, it’s not ‘is there really a god?’. It’s how the fuck Levi hasn’t been fired yet. “You can’t even see my ass, you little shit.” No, scratch that. It’s ‘how the fuck am I attracted to this asshole?’.

Trying to muster all the bravado I’ve kept stored for this encounter, I start, “But, that’s where you’re wrong; because I have seen your ass.” Hearing the words aloud makes me realize how weird they sound. Goddammit. I mean, that didn’t sound extremely creepy at all. My eyes widen as I stare into the faceless neon void that is Maria’s lunch menu. “Uh… I mean, I’ve seen your ass… but I wasn’t trying to look at your ass. It was just sort of there.” And, fuck if the lord knows any form of mercy, he’ll grant me the quick and painless death that I’m currently praying for.

I can just imagine Levi’s deadpan expression as he pages through, “You’re a weird little shit, you know that?” I don’t know if this is a rhetorical question or not. Either way, I’m sure the man isn’t looking for an answer. I hear a loud sigh reverberate through the speakers. “Look, you’re forming a line, and this indentured servitude I call a job doesn’t pay me enough to deal with your dumbass.” Chancing a glance in my rearview mirror, I notice that Levi is right; I am holding up traffic.

A disappointed groan heaves from my chest as I prepare to place my order, “I’ll have-“

“A double cheeseburger, hold the pickles and extra mayo.” Jesus, I don’t know if I should be happy or disturbed that the asshole knows my order by heart. Probably neither considering it’s due to my own constant reoccurrence that the man has memorized it. He takes in another breath, and I already know what the next question is going to be. It’s become a game with us… well, a game to me. Levi’s probably just some twisted sociopath who I’ve had the displeasure of falling for. Every time I come through, he asks the same question, the answer never changing. “Do you want fries with that?”

The asshole knows that I hate french fries, for which I am apparently ‘fucking inhuman’ for. His words, not mine. Maybe I should change it up. I’ve already surprised Levi once today, what’s one more shocker going to do to him?

I murmur under my breath, barely loud enough to be heard, “I want your fries.”

A deep sigh passes through the speakers. “Proceed to the goddamn window, you little shit.”


“You’re going to get fat if you keep this up.” Levi’s staring at me through the drive-thru window, elbows resting comfortably against the open frame.

“I’m not going to get fat, I have high endorphins or some shit.” His lip turns into a disgusted sneer as he watches me try to mumble the words around a mouthful of cheeseburger. Shit, I never said I was charming. Just interested.

Levi scoffs, silver eyes rolling back in his head, “It’s called metabolism, dumbass.” He pulls off his signature Maria’s cap as he runs a hand through his raven hair in what I can only assume is frustration. “And, why the fuck are you still here? This is a drive-thru, not a bed and breakfast.”

“I think the real question is why are you still here?” I attempt to wiggle my eyebrows as suggestively as possible, trying to coax something besides a look of pure disinterest from the man. Charcoal eyes darken as his brow furrows harder than I thought humanly possible. Abort, abort. Holy shit, abort mission.

A look of incredulity has morphed from his unamused features. “This is my job, you twat. I swear, there is no way you got your fucking GED.” I suppose I should take offense to that, but I probably deserved it for being such an ‘insufferable brat’. Again, his words, not mine. The aggravated honk of a car horn jerks us out of our ever so friendly conversation. Levi rolls his eyes as he glances into the TV screen to see a burgundy minivan waiting at the menu. Groaning, he pushes through to the intercom, “Welcome to Maria’s. How may I take your order?” A squeaky voice begins to transmit through the cracking speaker, the sound of arguing children faint in the background. Levi turns to me, pinched brow prominent as ever. “Unless you want soccer mom back there to kick your ass, I would suggest getting a move on.” As I catch a glimpse of the bug-eyed woman pulling up in the minivan behind me, I decide that is probably one of the best ideas Levi’s ever had.

“And take your fucking receipt, you shit.” Sparks jolt through my veins as my fingers brush against his as I go to grab the white sheet of paper. Red plastered across my cheeks, I nod my head in a silent goodbye. It may have just been my imagination, but I swear I can see the corner of his lips pull up as I drive off.

I fiddle the receipt paper in between my fingers, lost in the memory of the feeling Levi’s touch sent through my body. Shit, this is stupid, isn’t it?Getting so overworked from a simple touch. You’d think I’m a fucking virgin… oh, wait I am. I glance down at the white sheet dancing between my fingers. It’s weird that the man decided to give me a receipt, usually opting to just save paper; because I ‘obviously know how much I’m spending by now’. I think he just likes to be a dick, but that’s just a carefully worded observation at best. The dark chicken scratch on the underside of the receipt catches my eye. I flip it over and-

Holy shit.

Levi gave me his number.

Levi gave me his number.

Mission is a go. I repeat, mission is a go.


How do people usually start this stuff? Uh, you’re really hot. So, let’s hookup sometime? Eh, somehow I doubt Levi would like being propositioned like that. Shit, I doubt Levi would like being propositioned at all. I’m staring at the luminescent background of my phone, playing out how each of the million scenarios in my head can go wrong. Maybe, I should just send him a pickup line. I mean, fuck they can’t be that bad if they scored me his number. Confidence, Eren. Yeah, I should listen to my conscience and just man the fuck up.

I scroll through my contacts until I find the one I’m looking for. Attractive Asshole. Ah, winner, winner chicken diner. A smile creeps onto my face as I wonder what I am listed as in Levi’s contacts. The smile drifts into a grimace as I guess that it’s probably something degrading like ‘brat’ or ‘little shit’, even though I am one thousand percent sure I am not the little one here. But, wait. He doesn’t have my number, does he? Yeah, because I’m too petrified to text him. Stop being a pansy, you little shit. Wait, since when did my conscience decide become a clone of Levi’s five star personality? This is probably some freaky premonition shit, and my conscience is subtly giving me a sneak peak of what being a constant in Levi’s life entails. Well, fuck you conscience; because I only go for the real deal. As I gaze into the white abyss that is my cellphone, I can’t help the nervous feeling that begins to knot in my stomach. I honestly never thought that a blank screen would terrify me; but here I am, fingers trembling over the letters. God, this is fucking ridiculous. I wonder what my friends would say if they saw how worked up I was getting over this. Probably nothing positive, Eren. You know what?

Fuck it.

[Sent  7:26 p.m.] uh hi

I tap the send key before I can have any second thoughts.

What is that feeling called after you’ve done something completely and utterly stupid? Regret? Yeah, that’s totally the word I’m looking for. Because, holy shit that was the lamest thing I could have possibly sent. I’m staring wide-eyed at the lit screen, somehow hoping to develop the ability to pull messages out of the cyberspace that is text messaging. This is stupid. I’m stupid. It’s a fucking text message. It’s not the end of the-

[Received  7:31 p.m.] Who is this?

My heart leaps in my chest as the message shines across my phone. I honestly haven’t deliberated this far ahead in my plan to text Levi, so I’m left a little confused at how I should go about trying to hold an actual conversation with the man. I don’t want to sound too eager, but I don’t want to seem disinterested. Fuck, why is text messaging so complicated? Wait. It hits me like a fucking bullet train, and suddenly, I’m not feeling so ashamed for reading Mikasa’s teen girl magazines. Isn’t it like texting etiquette or some shit to make the other person wait as long as you did for a text? Yeah, I distinctly remember reading that along with the fact that you shouldn’t use winky faces unless you want to hookup… which made every text message exchanged between my mother and me super weird. I tried to explain it to her, but of course she continued with her winky face rampage. And she wonders where I get my hardheadedness from. So, I’m just going to sit here and stare at this dumb message for five minutes. Then, I’ll text back. And, Armin tells me my ideas are stupid. Whatever, coconut head. My phone is lighting up again before I can further settle into the victory that is ‘how to make your crush jealous’. Thank you, Cosmo Girl.

[Received  7:33 p.m.] Wait, I only know one person who would text like a fucking toddler. This is Eren Jaeger, isn’t it?

Okay, fuck everything I read in those stupid teeny bopper magazines. None of those advice articles helped soften my skin, anyway. Eyes narrowing, I completely forget that I like this asshole and should probably be trying to work my magic via the mobile airways.

[Sent  7:34 p.m.] i dont text like a toddler u fuck

[Sent  7:34 p.m.] & yes this is obviously eren jaeger bc u have so many people texting u with tht winning personality

[Sent  7:35 p.m.] asshole

What a fucking asshole. I swear would it hurt the prick to- oh, wait no… shit. Shit, shit, shit. It’s times like these I honestly abhor my brain’s ability to act before taking into consideration the consequences of my actions. Bless, could the lord have not let my anger off the hook just this once. I cringe as I reread what I sent. Apparently not. To my surprise, my phone lights up again, Levi’s nickname flashing across the screen.

[Received  7:40 p.m.] It’s good to know that you are still just as much of a little shit outside of annoying me at work.

[Received  7:41 p.m.] And, you’re right. You don’t text like a toddler. You text like a mentally handicapped tyrannosaurus rex.

For some reason, the message doesn’t emit the venom I was sure was going to be smacking me in the face via the 10pt pixelated font. It sounds amused, teasing even. But, maybe I’m reading this all wrong. Maybe Levi is secretly regretting ever giving me admittance to his number, and is in his basement right now concocting a spell to wipe my memory of the exchange.

[Sent  7:42 p.m.] its text not the rosetta stone i dont have to be grammartically correct

[Sent  7:42 p.m.] & obviously u dont care bc u gave me ur number

[Sent  7:43 p.m.] asshole

Wasn’t there someone who once said to be yourself or some cheesy shit like that? Yeah, be yourself. So, I’m just going to be the completely ineloquent smartass that I am until Levi decides to stop being a prick.

This isn’t how flirting works, is it?

[Received  7:46 p.m.] *grammatically* Unless you think ‘grammartically’ is an actual word. Then, you are a bigger dumbass than I thought. That’s leaping a pretty big hurdle just so you know.

[Received  7:47 p.m.] And, thanks for reminding me. I did give you my number for a reason, though, you impolite little shit.

A reason… a reason… shit, I want to say that Levi gave me his number because he’s just as interested; but I am not shooting myself up with that hypothetical spaceship. But, honestly what other reason is there? Unless the man is a secret masochist who enjoys being annoyed by a kid straight out of high school. Possibly.

[Sent  7:49 p.m.] what do u mean & if anyone is being rude its u

I don’t even have to wait a full thirty seconds for a reply.

[Received  7:49 p.m.] I take it back. Delete my number. Even I can’t deal with this much stupid.

Fine, if he wants to be an asshole, then… then fine. I’ll delete his fucking number. I’m sure there’s bigger fish in the sea, or something like that. Pulling up his name in my contacts, my thumb hovers over the digital trashcan in the bottom right corner. The phone prompts me, Are you sure you would like to delete this contact?

Positive… almost.

Just as my thumb successfully confirms the deletion, I get a message from an unknown number.


[Received  7:54 p.m.] You really deleted my number, didn’t you?

I narrow my eyes at the screen, hoping that somehow my aggravation will materialize into Levi’s direct vicinity. I mean, Christ, should I even grace this with a response? Maybe I should make Levi uncomfortable in his own skin for once. Yeah, fuck the short bastard. I might not be the uh… sharpest tool in the box, but I’m stubborn as shit.

[Received  7:57 p.m.] Your brain probably hasn’t grasped the fact that I was joking.

[Received  7:59 p.m.] As in I wasn’t being serious.

[Received  8:03 p.m.] As in text me back, you little shit.

[Received  8:04 p.m.] I’m going to spit in your cheeseburger next time you come through.

My eyes widen as I reread his last message. If there is one thing I have to draw the line at, it’s at my food. You don’t threaten a man’s grease filled deliciousness. Christ, I should threaten to send this conversation to 20/20, and make like a million dollars off of the blackmail that Maria’s would pay to keep me quiet. I mean isn’t it against the law to spit in people’s food, or is that just what people want to believe in order to think that it is not happening? Either way, I feel like it must be an ancient prophecy or some shit that you don’t defile inexpensive cheeseburgers with saliva.


But, hold on one fucking minute.

[Sent  8:05 p.m.] wait ur like mr clean u wouldn’t do somthn so dirty so jokes on u asshole

I breathe a sigh of relief with my realization that Levi would never do anything that depraved. At least, I don’t think he would… he wouldn’t. Anxiety plagues my veins as I think about never returning to Maria’s again. Shit, I wish I would have savored that last cheeseburger instead of freaking out about Levi handing me his number. Fucker plays a sneaky game.

[Sent  8:06 p.m.] look i will leave u alone just dont bring my cheeseburgers into this thts fucked up

I cross my fingers in the hopes that maybe Levi will agree to compromise and leave me to consume my future heart attacks on a bun without worries.

[Received  8:09 p.m.] You’re being serious, aren’t you? 

[Received  8:09 p.m.] For the record, I don’t take back anything I said about you being an idiot.

[Received  8:10 p.m.] I don’t want you to leave me alone.


My phone lights up again.

[Received  8:12 p.m.] Christ, I like you, you little shit.

Oh… oh. My cheeks begin to burn from the smile I didn’t know I’d been wearing. Levi likes me. I knew those fucking pickup lines worked.

[Sent  8:14 p.m.] well i kinda like u to but i guess u already know tht

Smooth as a baby’s bottom. That is what you are, Eren Jaeger.

[Received  8:16 p.m.] So, what are you going to do about it?

I honestly shouldn’t have expected anything less from Levi than to dance around the fact that just maybe we both like each other. He’s like a cat that is afraid of water, but sees a fish in the pond. Well, asshole, I’m about to throw you in.

[Sent  8:17 p.m.] u could be a gentleman & mayb just ask me out

Minutes pass, and I’m starting to think that maybe I scared the cat away.

[Received  8:23 p.m.] You’re a little shit. Has anyone ever told you that?

I can practically see the look of aggravation Levi is probably wearing.

[Received  8:24 p.m.] Fine. Eren goddamn Jaeger, do you want to grab some fucking coffee with me?

I think I’d be pushing it to attempt to get a nicer proposition from the man. He’s no Prince Charming, that’s for sure; but for some reason, I don’t think I’d want it any other way.

[Sent  8:25 p.m.] i guess… since u asked so nicely

[Received  8:25 p.m.] Fuck you.


I’ve been playing with my straw wrapper for the past five minutes, and I can now confirm that every YouTube tutorial I watched proclaiming you could make origami figures from the paper is full of shit. Several tightly coiled balls of white wrapping lay sprawled across the table in front of me, providing an adequate distraction from the impassive stare that is currently making me feel about three inches tall. The sound of a throat being cleared pulls me out of my uncomfortable avoidance. I glance up to meet the man’s glare and- oh shit. Houston, we have a problem.

“So, mind telling me why I brought your ass here if you are just going to play mute?” His fingers are tapping incessantly against the tabletop, eyes searching my face for an answer. He looks pissed; and if anything, that’s a fucking understatement. Furious. Eh, yeah, that’s a better word to describe the twitching of his brow, the narrowed glint in his eyes. But, you know what? I never claimed to be a great date. Hell, I never claimed to be a decent date. Truth be told, I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing here. I’ve never done… this. A relationship. I don’t know how people are meant to go about these things.

I drop the mangled straw wrapper on the table, bringing my hands to fidget in my lap. I shouldn’t avoid eye contact, should I? I chance it, greens meeting greys; and, nope. Nope, nope nope. My head drops back down, knowing that there is no way my nerves will be able to handle staring into the fucking Levi Inquisition. I try to clear my throat; but it ends up sounding like a distorted cough. So, I’m forced to follow through with the awkward hacking, bringing my palm over my mouth in an attempt to convince Levi that I’m not a complete idiot. Gambling a glance at the man, I can tell it’s not working. Hell, I’ve known my acting skills were terrible ever since I failed to obtain the role of ‘Backup Clergyman #3’.

“I just… I’ve…” I groan, running my fingers through my hair. “I’ve never done this, okay? And, shit, I know I’ve probably set a record for fucking up a date the quickest. But, I really do like you… even though you are an asshole. Wait! No, shit! I mean, you are an asshole, but you’re a charming asshole… well, actually no, you’re just an asshole.” I’m rambling, now; but I know from past experiences that once I board the Word Vomit Express, a crash is the only way I’m getting off. A big, fiery crash that usually ends in a plethora of tears and ‘fuck yous’. Somewhere down the line, my hands found their way up into the air and are waving wildly around my head. “So, if you want to leave I totally understand. I’ll even stop going down to Maria’s… even though the burgers are really good. I’ll just-“

“Eren,“ The sound of my name brings my train to an abrupt halt, but I’m still unsure if it’s going to explode. “shut the fuck up.” My mouth clamps closed, and I’m patiently awaiting for Levi to tell me that I can pay for my own damn meal and shove it up my ass while I’m at it. But, the rage never comes. If anything, Levi’s previous look of anger has morphed into a weird type of contentment. I’m taking his request to heart, anxiously squirming in my seat as I grab for one of the bread rolls from our basket. He lifts his glass of water, pausing before the cup reaches his lips. “This isn’t the worst date I’ve been on, if you were wondering.”

My hand falters on the roll, and soon it has tumbled onto the ground. As I meet his gaze, I’m questioning whether or not I should continue following his brilliantly worded order. Ah, fuck it. I’ve never been one to go by the black and white. “Shit… I mean, you must really know how to pick them.” I don’t think that necessarily helped my case, but it does cause Levi’s lips to upturn in a small smirk.

“You’re probably right. So, why I am here with you again?”

All my previous apprehensiveness has evaporated into thin air, almost like it was never plaguing my actions. “Because, you think I’m pretty. Speaking of which, do you have a sunburn? Or are you always this hot?”

Levi tries to hide the smile behind a well-placed hand, but his eyes give him away. “You’re a fucking dork, you know that?”  My foot nudges his leg underneath the table.

I grin as he intertwines our ankles. “Yeah. I know.”


“Welcome to Maria’s. How may I take your order?”

“Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all of my prayers.”

There’s a pause before the speaker crackles, “They still haven’t gotten any better, brat.” I laugh into the intercom, not surprised with Levi’s reaction. “It’s been almost two years. You’d think that you’d have a decent one by now.” Two years. Fuck, has it really been that long? Is it too cliché to start feeling sentimental? My chest starts to flutter thinking about the first time I drove through only to be enraptured by those silver eyes. God, I’m getting sappy in my old age. I turn my attention back to the speaker box, knowing exactly how to reply.

“I had a decent one last night.” I can practically see the blush staining Levi’s cheeks. As much as he’d like everyone to believe nothing flusters him, I know that any mention of our bedroom activities will paint the man’s face red. It’s actually really bizarre that it bothers him so much given that he has no problem discussing the last shit he took. In excruciating detail. A shiver runs up my spine as I remember that last time he felt the need to discuss his bowel movements. Honestly, it would not have been as bad if it wasn’t for the fact my fucking parents were eating dinner with us. And wait, fuck him. My pickup lines have gotten better.   

“I can guarantee you won’t be experiencing that again if you don’t hurry the fuck up. I already have your order ready, you little shit.” The intercom clicks off, and I know that the asshole isn’t going to respond to anymore of my prodding. Sighing, I slide my car into drive, my hand brushing against the velvet box sitting in the center console.

I whip around the corner of Maria’s, taking a deep breath as my fingers clasp around the box. Two years, huh? I feel the corners of my lips begin to rise. Yeah, two years.

An aggravated face greets me at the window, a faint blush still visible on his cheeks. “You’re still a little shit, too; just so you know.” Eloquent as ever. A few seconds pass before Levi raises a thin eyebrow, obviously waiting for my equally eloquent reply. But, I’m not saying anything, voice having trouble finding the words. “I don’t know what you’re waiting for, but that smile is making you look stupider than usual.” My heart is running a marathon in my chest, straddling the line of exhaustion. Suddenly, the box feels heavy in my hands, its symbol of existence a weighty burden in my palm. My fingers instinctively tighten around the container, and I am silently praying that this doesn’t all fall apart in front of me. Two years, right? Levi’s hand has taken refuge upon his hip, making him look sassier than usual. Yeah, two years. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You know I can’t give you free food, dumbass.”

My eyes meet his, and fuck if he’s never looked more beautiful. Black hair peeping out underneath the Maria’s logo, overcast orbs tapered into a suspicious glare, thin lips slightly parted, fingers tapping impatiently against a narrow waist. Maybe it’s the gravity of what I’m about to do that’s making him appear so stunning, because I’m sure he would argue that a grease splattered t-shirt is not his best look. But, it’s not that, is it? He’s gorgeous because he’s Levi. Because no matter what he looked like, I would still think that he was the single most magnificent thing in the entire galaxy. And, shit I think I was right about becoming sappy.

My voice is shaky when I answer him, “I… I don’t know my total.” It’s a blatant lie; and if Levi’s unamused glare is anything to go by, he sees straight through it. He stares at me for a few seconds with that unyielding gaze. If there is anything that Levi was granted in exchange for his height, it’s that fucking stare. Anyone else would have taken the hint and proceeded to drop the act, but I’m used to this by now. Even if that glare has cut me down a few inches. “I’m being serious.”

“One twenty-two.” He says through gritted teeth with a deadpan that sounds so impassive it almost seems forced.

I gulp, contemplating if I really want to go through with this. “Um… could I see my… um… receipt? That d-doesn’t sound right.” Levi waits for me to take it back, to say I’m joking. I spend several more seconds squirming beneath his gaze before he realizes that I’m being serious. The hand that was previously clenching at his side has dropped down into an ugly fist. I’m feeling less and less confident about this whole scheme, and I’m starting to wonder if I should just forget about it and apologize. No, Eren. You can do this. I take a deep breath, blowing out all the uncertainty I’m feeling. Levi has since whipped around to the register, a multitude of crude phrases spewing from his lips. And, damn, I did not know half of those words could be combined that way.

Fingers shaking, I pry open the box. Sunlight bounces off the object inside, highlighting the sparkle of the item. I’m still quivering as I outstretch my arm to rest my hand on the drive thru window sill. I’m tempted to pull it back inside. What if he’s not ready? What if he says no? What if he… if he doesn’t love me? Two years, you say? My hand stops shaking. Yeah, two years.

“I swear to fuck; I hope you choke on this goddamn cheeseburger, you insufferable br-“ The receipt paper drops from his hand, catching with the wind and flying into oblivion. All the former anger has drained from his face, in its place a look of absolute shock. My eyes widen as a dangerous pang strikes through my chest, and I begin to worry that this was too soon. Holy, shit. I just fucked us up, didn’t I? The shaking is back with a vengeance; and soon, I can hear the box begin to clatter against the metal window frame. I try to get out the five words, but my voice has lost itself in the uneasy apprehension that has decided to devour any hope that this wasn’t a mistake.

I drop my gaze, too ashamed to face that I just ruined our relationship with my eagerness. It’s so stupid. So stupid. It’s all going to be over, because I wanted to change my name. I try to start, and I’m surprised that some of the words materialize, “I… I’m… I…” The fingers that begin to caress my hand cease my muttering, and I look up to see that Levi is… crying? Wet streaks have formed upon his pale cheeks, marking the previously unmarred skin with their tracks. Suddenly, I feel like I’ve fucked this up worse than I could have imagined. I’ve never seen Levi cry. Not when his car was stolen. Not when he lost his second job. Not even when his mother died. I’m about to beg for his forgiveness when a smile begins to stretch across his face. Not a smirk, a smile. Teeth and all. It seems foreign on the visage that always seems to be plagued with a mask of annoyance. It hits me that he’s not mad; not even an inkling of the word could describe his current disposition.

He’s happy.

All of my previous doubts are thrown out the window as my mouth begins to form the words I’ve been stumbling over the past few minutes. “Levi, will you marry me?” It takes a second for the weight of the question to settle down on him, and suddenly there is a light in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. I don’t get to focus on it long, though; because before I know it, Levi has twisted his hands into my collar and is pulling my upper body out of the car window to meet him in a bruising kiss. His lips move against mine in a passionate dance, conveying every bit of affection that is coursing throughout my body. A grin spreads over my face as he begins to murmur in between kisses ‘yes,yes,yes,yes’. The feeling in my stomach has exploded, and I feel numb from the euphoria of his answer spreading through my veins.

I’m ignoring the pain the car door is causing from digging into my side, opting to instead drown myself in this moment. In those eyes. And, I don’t care what anyone says about heaven being the source of eternal happiness. They have to be wrong, because there is nothing on this earth, in this universe that can compare to how I feel for him. How I feel for us. Levi pulls me in for one more kiss, and I can feel him smile beneath the touch. Before he lets me go, he whispers one more thing against my lips.

“Do you want fries with that?”  

HEY, so 

the first thing I did when i got back into OP was dive straight into fanfic. because i didnt actually read any back in the day, and a friend rec’d me one right off the bat when i started talking about OP again, and I.. like, okay, my summer has been SO stressful and straining mental health wise, and there was seriously nothing more relaxing than reading a bunch of romantic gay schmoop. and there was SO MUCH OF IT

  i also got bored of reccing single fics to people and digging them up and going like “omg i want to read that one fic again where is it” so im making this post now, for myself, for my friends and for anyone else who finds the amount of fics made of these two too daunting to go through. (i personally find it amazing because i dont usually like popular pairings so this like A+ thank you, finally) 
ok so yeah heres my magnificent list of fics i like

Keep reading

“if you dont like Sharon Carter and Steve getting together youre a misogynist” actually you know whats really misogynistic? Marvel only having female characters on the sidelines and cramming them in in shitty, forced romances and making it so women in the movies only have roles as love interests. 

like no shit people dont like Sharon Carter and Steve’s “romance”. shes literally in about five scenes across two films and they talk to each other barely a handful of times, and then they suddenly kiss in the middle of a random fucking scene like they just grind the story to a halt for a moment so Sharon and Steve can kiss. thats just shitty fucking storytelling

whereas Bucky and Sam have actual relationships with Steve that we get to see evolve over several movies. like no shit people are wild for Stucky, Steve’s entire fucking motivation in Civil War is a drive to protect Bucky. Sam and Steve are incredibly close. we get to see that, so we give a shit. that is a basic fucking fundamental of storytelling.

Marvel is misogynistic. Marvel is misogynistic. Sharon Carter is a shitty character. she is introduced purely to be Steve’s love interest, she has no real emotional growth of her own (her being at her aunts funeral is used to give Steve a pivotal moment in his arc), her entire purpose is to help a man have some emotions. that is shitty writing. that is shitty, misogynistic writing, and its the kind of shit that has been happening in big action movies since forever.

you should not be supporting Sharon Carter. you should be fucking furious that yet again, all Marvel sees women as, is some dude’s prize to romance. she is yet another example of movies crapping all over women in order to prop up men. 

and actually, i dont give a shit if shes been in the comics forever. lgbt people have a fucking right to question why shes suddenly Steve’s love interest in the movies. because i dont know if youve noticed this? but there arent any action movies starring dudes in love with other dudes. there arent any action movies about two men in romantic love. or if two men in an action movie can be read as being in love, then theres always a well placed love interest to make sure you know Theyre Not Really Gay. they sure as hell never yknow, kiss on screen. have sex. get married. doesnt happen. doesnt exist.

yet another het romance starring Hot Dude and Cardboard Cutout Lady actually does jack shit for anybody. a romance starring Hot Dude and Admittedly Another Hot Dude? thats actually pretty monumental. thats huge. thats never been done before. i know youve seen a billion fanfics about that kind of thing, but heres what fanfic affects: nothing. heres what huge, multi-million dollar movies affect: kind of a fucking lot, actually.

there are a million other action movies - there are a million other Marvel movies - where badly written “i am a strong female character” gets shoved in by writers who dont care about writing interesting women and forced to make out with a dude. theres a billion of them. it does nothing, for nobody. sga* romances are fucking non-existent in films. especially in big blockbusters. Marvel taking a chance and having a gay love story in a movie would be HUGE. it would be HISTORICAL. it would be the FIRST gay/bi superhero movie. but instead its the six millionth heterosexual action movie. fucking brilliant. thats just great. 

*(same gender attracted)

so yeah speaking as a gay person? its really fucking crushingly disappointing to have a spark of hope that you might actually one day get representation in a movie! only to get told that your relationships, as usual, are unimportant and secondary. it fucking hurts man, it never stops hurting. and dont even get me fucking started about lesbian representation bcs, fucking yeah, there isnt any. and there wont be, until Marvel stop treating women as disposable love interests who only exist for men.

you should not be mad at the fans complaining about Sharon Carter and Steve’s forced romance. you should be angry at MARVEL, for giving you a fucking bucket of lukewarm gruel and expecting you to be happy with it. you should be angry at Sharon Carter for being a shitty character. you should be angry at Marvel for only seeing women as shallow love interests to support men. where the hell was Pepper the last five Marvel movies? where was Jane? they killed Peggy. they killed the Wasp before Ant-man even started. the women Marvel introduce are so unimportant they dont even have to be on screen. that is GARBAGE. that is fucking GARBAGE. 

crappy female characters? not progressive. crappy, forced heterosexual romances that do nothing to further plot or character development? not progressive. pretending gay and bi people dont exist? not progressive. none of this shit is GOOD. why should anyone be content with getting fucking GARBAGE.

het romances fucking suck, what Civil War did with Sharon Carter is fucking bullshit, stop getting angry at lgbt fans for being upset we’re still being shit on, get angry that Marvel is a misogynistic, racist, homophobic company who still keeps giving us fucking turds on a plate and expecting us to be happy about it. it isnt fucking misogyny to question the fucking heteropatriarchy.