i spent way too much time and money on this

Disposable pt2

Idk I was just thinking about this last night and thought I might write another part? But I’ll warn you now, if you like sad endings, stop reading after part one. I’m terrible at angst because I’m a sucker for happy endings. (Also @ anon who originally requested part 1, I’m sorry that this is about to turn into something not at all like what you asked for, forgive me)

You can read part 1, 3, 4 

Yoongi x Reader

Fake relationship

Warnings: Harsh language, mild nsfw, alcohol usage.

Yoongi waited two weeks for you to call. And he was sure that you would, because you always did. This had been a relatively normal thing for you for over a year now. Everything would seem like it was fine until one day you said you couldn’t do this anymore, then you would effectively dump him (although in order to dump him you would have had to have been in a relationship in the first place), and then a few days later you would call him again.

It was just the way it was. 

There was something different about this time, however. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, or even think about it at the time, but there was something in your eyes that night. Yoongi recognized hopelessness when he saw it.

He rubbed his eyes, reminding himself that he didn’t care. So what if you never called him? It wasn’t like he couldn’t find someone else. Though, it could be hard to find someone who didn’t ask questions. That was something he liked about you, you never asked questions about his personal life. You weren’t interested in his money, or his status. At first, you wanted the same thing that he did– a way to forget who you were for a while. 

No more stress, no more phone calls from angry bosses, no more parents who wanted to know why you weren’t married yet. It worked so well because the two of you were each others escape. 

For a few months, both of you kept feelings out of it. You were fuck buddies, no big deal. But at some point, something had shifted. He could still remember the first time he noticed it, when he had almost made the mistake of asking you to stay. He nearly didn’t catch himself in time, choking on his words and backtracking so fast that you had actually asked him if he was okay. 

He glared at his phone, waiting for something that he knew wasn’t going to happen.

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Listen to the Playmoss playlist: Midnight Chase by S•C•H•W•U•B by S•C•H•W•U•B

[A story of crime, bright lights, and love on the rooftops of gotham city , all set in my Jokeboi AU] another playlist, this one is a little bit poppier than the last one, i’d also say it was thrown together but i spent way too much time on it lol 

M83 - Midnight City (Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming)
Prince - Partyman
Bleachers - Don’t Take The Money
The Killers - The Man
Fitz & The Tantrums - The Walker
Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. - Run
Hedley - Crazy For You
Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still
Miike Snow - Genghis Khan
a - Ha - Take On Me
Atlas Genius - A Perfect End


There are ten beer bottles sitting on his kitchen counter.

All of them are empty, lined up in rows of three with the odd man out lying on its side. He spins this one around, the label blurring as he leans his hip against the granite countertop.

The countertop they picked out together, not so long ago. Dark grey, modern and stylish, just like she wanted.

Around and around the green bottle spins until his eyes can’t take it anymore. He throws the bottle in the garbage can instead of the recycle bin. Partly because he’s almost a full case of beer deep and wasn’t really paying attention but also because she always insisted that they recycle as much as they could.

“It’s better for the environment,” he muses out loud to himself, his words slurring as he starts chucking the remaining beer bottles into the garbage, one by one.

She’s not here to yell at him anyways, so why the fuck should he care.


There are voicemails waiting for him when he wakes up the next morning.

“Bellamy, it’s your sister. What in the hell are you doing not answering your phone for days? Call me back!!”

“Bell? It’s Jasper. Just wanted to check up on you, man. Let me know how you’re doing.”

“Yo, It’s Murphy. Fuck that girl, let’s get drunk.”

“Hey, it’s Monty. I’m sure everyone is calling you but…we’re worried about you. Please let someone know if you’re okay.”

“Bell, honey? It’s mom. Please call me when you get this, your sister and I are worried about you. Love you.”

“Blake, it’s Miller. Octavia is freaking out man, hasn’t stopped calling me since yesterday. I know you’re hurting but…just please call someone back. Later.”

“Mr. Blake, it’s Professor Stanley. I just wanted to let you know that I received your email and am sorry to hear you won’t be able to speak in my class this week. Hope we can schedule something again soon.”

“God damn it, Bellamy Blake! If you don’t call me back, I’m going to tell mom about all the stupid shit you did in high school. And we both know you don’t want that hellfire to rain down upon you. Call. Me. Back!”

“Hey….Bell. It’s me. Look, I know we said we weren’t going to call each other but…I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the way that we ended things. I know it was for the best but…I just…please don’t pull away from everyone. They all love you so much. And so do I. I’m sorry.”

He deletes all of them but the last one, sets his phone on that fucking grey countertop and hits the speaker button.

“….They all love you so much. And so do I.”

Her voice is broken but so is his heart so he listens to it a few more times until he feels like breaking his phone.

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anonymous asked:

So....if you're white....why are you dressed like esmerelda in your icon??? Isn't that white washing?

((OOC: Because my love for Esmeralda is more than skin deep. Because I respect her so so much and I spent a lot of time and money trying to portray her in the best way I possibly could. Because I wanted to cosplay her because ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be like her. Because she’s strong, and she has a voice, and because she showed kindness and love to someone who was categorized as “ugly” …. Like me. Her culture and her being a beautiful POC woman is very important to me too and that’s why I want to encourage more people with the right heritage to play her. I believe cosplay is for everyone as long as it is done with great respect, dignity, and love. I did a cosplay of her because I love her. And I believe whitewashing is more in the entertainment industry like in movies. Because movies are like a one time monumental gig. If someone offered me a part as Esmeralda in a movie or a play I would decline because someone else could and would do a better job at representing her culture and her as a poc. Anyone can do cosplay and loads of people can play the same character in their own unique way. And I’d love it if more poc cosplayed or took the roles of traditionally white characters (like Norm Lewis being the first African American to play the phantom of the opera) I believe in cosplay equality for everyone no matter who or what you are.))

Originally posted by disneylaland

destinymonay  asked:

How can you follow your dreams if you don’t have the right tools, meaning, financially struggling, not the right connections and just struggling with not being able to put your dreams first?

Good question. If you don’t have the finances, creativity is most important. When I got my first my restaurant I always spent too much money, but with the second one I was smarter with my funds. The best thing for someone to do is to look into the most cost effective way to get your dream up. Get the attention – if your product is good then you’re going to get someone’s attention. Keep working and believing in yourself. 

cutthroat kitchen au - round 2

round 1 (version one and two)

To Laurent’s surprise, it was Torveld who was eliminated in the first round. Halvik has mustered into the second round despite eggs and sausage that clearly lacked the sausage, but was saved because Torveld’s dish simply tasted disgusting. The judge wondered why his eggs were rubbery and the sausages were overly sweet. Making Torveld salvage his ingredients had indeed been a sabotage well-spent.  

The second round was steak and potatoes, and this time, with the least amount of money, Laurent was put on the defensive.

Damen sought his revenge by making Laurent throw knives at a target before he could begin. When Laurent landed each and every blade with precision and accuracy, Damen let off a whistle. Laurent looked at him coolly, and infuriatingly, Damen winked back.

Halvik switched out his beautiful filet with meat scraps. Disappointing, but when his uncle ran Arles to the ground, it was Laurent, with his culinary skills, who dragged Arles’ reputation up from the dirt and into one of the most premiere restaurant in the city.

Halvik idiotically spent way too much money to sabotage both Laurent and Damen, offering up her smirk, “Enjoy darlings. I bought this table-for-two, just for you.”  It was a tiny table, made tinier by Damen’s broad shoulders, as they both sat down across from each other with a lit candle between them. Prep work, cooking, plating, it all had to be done on that tiny table.

Laurent had twenty-nine minutes (“A $700 mistake. You wasted one minute of my time,” Laurent said to Damen, sauntering back to their table after throwing the knives. “Money well spent. I was watching your back the entire time,” Damen replied.) to make a steak and potatoes dish out of meat scraps and cook it by candlefire. Laurent smiled, now this, was fun.  

“Thank you, Halvik,” Damen called out, suddenly, in the middle of slicing his potatoes.

“Whatever for?”  

“For the view.”

With the time constraint, it was no surprise that him and Damen both needed the heat source at the same time. Looking at the size of Damen’s meat, Laurent knew he had to use the fire first, but Damen was already reaching for it.

Without thinking too hard on it, not that it was a difficult choice, Laurent slid his ankle along Damen’s leg. Damen froze and turned beet-red.

Laurent grabbed the candle. “Oops, my foot slipped.”

As they finished the final touches on their plates, Damen took a peek at Laurent’s plate and said, “It looks beautiful but you own one of those restaurants where you leave hungrier than before you came, don’t you?”

Laurent arched a brow, “Maybe for someone your size.”

Damen smiled, his dimple showing. “You noticed.”

Halvik smothered a cough under her breath, “unbelieveable.”

What was unbelievable was Halvik overcooking her state with zero sabotages. Although not intended, Laurent wondered if she had been distracted watching him and Damen. If it came at the price of her serving a well-done filet mignon to the judge, then Laurent would gladly stroke Damen’s leg once more.

Damen presented a classic plate with a rosemary-garlic basted ribeye, with crispy seasoned potatoes on the side. Thoroughly unoriginal. The judge had high praise for his dish, but it was easy to prepare something so boring. Damen looked like a mountain man, of course steak and potatoes were his forte.

The judge approached Laurent, who began to explain his dish. Considering all three of his sabotages, Laurent was very proud of his finished product. Having to pick out the nicest piece of meat from amongst the scraps, he knew that he would still wow the judge with his sliced strip loin and crispy potato stack over a sour-cream horseradish smear.

The judge looked at it with an impressed curl of his lips. “Aesthetically, it looks beautiful. But did you really have to choose the largest plate in this kitchen? Not really what I would imagine for a steak and potatoes meal. The ingredients are there, but the idea is not the same. It’s cute but.” The judge shrugged and popped the bite of steak into his mouth.

He sent Halvik home.

The cooking stations were moved so Damen and Laurent were next to one another. “Just the two of us left,” Damen commented.

Laurent tilted his head to look at him. “There’s only one winner.”

“Shame you’ll be sent home next,” Damen said with a smile. “It’s alright sweetheart. We’ll always have this between us.”

Laurent scoffed, “Dream on.”

“Oh I will. You’ll definitely feature in it.”

Laurent hid a grin. It wasn’t like those arms wouldn’t feature in his dreams, too.

We’ll Carry On

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Request fic for @ellasfandoms1234. “Could you do a Gerard X Reader where he just started to relapse and he’s thinking about breaking up the band and the reader convinces him not to and it’s so fluffy 😍”

When you first saw him, standing onstage, tossing his beautiful red hair seductively, singing with the voice of an angel to an adoring crowd, you thought, He’s a fucking god. But, slowly, as you came to know him, you discovered that Gerard was only human. Trying desperately not to fall into the same addiction that had plagued him in his twenties. Questioning if he was as attractive as the fangirls said he was - and if they would still love him if he packed on a few pounds, if he looked, again, like the fat, dateless nerd he’d been in high school. 

“They only love me,” he’d told you, a melancholy look in his eyes, “because they don’t know who I am." 

"That’s not true, Gee,” you’d protested. “I know you very well, and I love you very much.”

But, you weren’t sure if he believed it. 

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September wishes

Looking back to August, it was a very difficult month. 

The difficulties continue, sadly, a new month does not mean everything ends. But it is motivating for trying new things, setting goals, etc. 

August was a busy month, and saving money was hard too (I had extra expenses I wasn’t counting on, and some I totally shouldn’t have spent, like buying 5 blouses in a day, instead of just one). The tracker helped me see how I am living with stress at an all time high, and I need to work on that. I didn’t work out as much as I wanted, but the only way to go is up now! I was sick for 10 days (still am), and my mood was just not that good, but I know which is the reason for that, and I am working on it… in fact, I made sure to include it in my tracker for the month. 

So, without further ado (was that the proper wording? I have never used the sentence), here are the things I’ll be tracking: 

  • Food habits: 
    • No Candy 
    • No Soda
    • No Chips 
    • Pack a snack (preferably fruit)
    • “Regular” lunch (that means no burgers, or pizza, or fast food in general)
  • Health habits: 
    • Walk to work
    • Walk home
    • Work out
    • Do chores 
    • Study
  • Mental health:
    • Not check “someone’s” social media
    • Up by 6 am
    • Bed by 10 pm
    • Write in my journal
  • Moood tracker:
    • Happy
    • Normal (neither happy, nor sad, just normal) 
    • Sad
    • Relaxed
    • Normal (neither relaxed, nor stressed, probably a regular work day)
    • Stressed 

I know it is a lot… A LOT…. of stuff, but, I am still learning about trackers since I have not used them much in the past, and some of those things I intend to track in order to create a habit, and once I have said habit, I might stop tracking… Like writing, studying at least 30 minutes a day, getting up at 6 am every day, etc. 

I devied them into 4 categories that made sense in my mind, and I have found myself that tracking all these things during the day helps me be more mindful about what I do and don’t do. 

I don’t have set goals for this month, other than saving money. I don’t really need to buy anything, or want to buy anything… I don’t *have* to save money this month, or much of the time, but I have always tried to be mindful about my expenses, and I like having savings for when I do want something, and for when (god forbids) something happens and I lose my job or have an accident… 

I llike having some for a rainy day. 

All in all, I hope september is a good month. August wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t good… I’m trying my best to make it a good month.

Hope everyone is having a great day! 


P.S: Today is the day Albus Severus goes to Hogwarts, and I am still pissed his name is Albus Severus. 

I’m a Ravenclaw, btw :) 

importantshitposting  asked:

I was a fan of your writing. Then I became anxious in anticipation of an update of a story. While waiting, I respected your no asking about updates rule. Eventually I became upset as weeks and months passed by with inconsistent and sparse updates. Eventually I gave up, turned off your notifications and then unfollowed you. I am no longer in anticipation of your works so please don't view this as a update request. I would like to ask why you don't update. If I were that talented I'd post more.

Thank you for enjoying the works that I’ve had out and I really appreciate you reading them, but I can’t help but feel so disrespected by this ask of yours. Have you ever stopped to think about why I don’t post? I am choppy when it comes to posting and I know, and I also completely understand if you don’t like that and unfollowed me because that’s completely your choice. But I’m seriously not going to sit here and take this from you. I go to school and I go to work girl, I stayed up til 6 am studying for an exam this past Tuesday. I wake up at 8 am to get ready for class, drive half an hour there then have 1 hour to get back home and eat then go straight to work until 10 pm. Usually I get out around 10:30, then I go home and wash up and restart my day like that for the rest of the week. I just got home from work not long ago, and I had a pretty fucking shitty day because someone called in and I was left alone. Tumblr’s a place where I can get away to relax, and I logged in just now because there are really great people on here that end up brightening my day with their posts. I’ve never gotten a post like this so I don’t even know what to say? I’m just extremely upset right now because I just feel like you don’t even see me as a person? 

That’s just been the past few weeks, but if you want to know about what’s happened over the past months on why I haven’t updated I can just sum it up by saying I hated my fucking life. When I started work I got such bad anxiety, always telling myself I fucking sucked and I’m a burden to everyone and that I’m super annoying and dumb that I would start to uncontrollably shake for days (and yes, this was in February which was the last time I had a big update). I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I was so anxious, I couldn’t focus on studying and I couldn’t even go about my day without this affecting me. My left kidney barely works (15%) so I constantly have to go to the doctor to do check ups and exams, and that drains me out wondering whether or not it’s getting worse and I’m literally just waiting for the day it dies and I have to take it out. Stress plays a big factor on kidney function, so the more I was anxious the worst pain I got in my back. I continue to stress myself out when I shouldn’t and I know it’s bad but I can’t help myself and it sucks. 

In April, I lost my grandma. She got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October of last year so every single month I spent flying from Texas back to California to see her and help care for her since she was in hospice at my aunts before it got the best of her. I flew back 6 times, and spent about almost what, $2500 on plane tickets? I had to find ways to collect money before my job so I spent all my financial aid and baked sweets to gain that. After that I saved up my paychecks. In June, a friend of mine committed suicide. I’ve gone to school with him since 7th grade, and we used to talk but not so much over the years. I don’t know why it took such a big toll on me at the time, but I couldn’t help but feel so depressed those 2 weeks because all of my friends were friends with him too. I literally saw him a week or 2 before that, gave him a hug and chatted with him for a bit. He was such a nice guy, and was the kind of person who was known and loved by everyone. It’s been 3 months and I still can’t believe he’s not here anymore. A big part of me realized then I really take life for granted, and that’s when I lightened up and started feeling better about my job and myself. 

Yeah, you’re probably reading this like I’m being a little bitch and I always like to keep in my stress/problems because I don’t want to burden other people about it but I’m still amazed you had the audacity to send this. I’m being completely honest right now, I was planning on working on Cat Got Your Tongue this weekend because I finally got a spurt of inspiration this past week and was so excited since that hasn’t happened in so long. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced writer’s block, but it fucking sucks and not only does it affect you as a reader but you’ve never thought that it hasn’t affected me either? Writing was a great outlet for me, and I also loved sharing my idea with others. I’m happy people enjoyed my writing and always hoped it could put a smile on someone’s face. Eventually I got stuck probably because part of my life got in the way and I didn’t have time for it. That also made me depressed because I couldn’t do something I enjoyed. I eventually got stuck in this nasty, stressful cycle and the only things that really saved me were my friends and people here on Tumblr.

I knew it got annoying and I can’t help but feel annoyed and disappointed in myself that I haven’t got anything out in so long, but it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s because I can’t. If you looked at my drafts you’d see I’m really trying right now, but about 5-6 fics are unfinished. One is that I don’t have time, and another is that I just can’t get myself into the groove of writing anymore. 

But I hope you realize that I’m not here on my ass in front of my laptop 24/7 to just cater to you? You think I’m just lounging around at my house and then ignoring people who have told me that they can’t wait to know what happens next in my fics? You don’t know how bad I feel when people say that. I always feel like I let them down, and even the recent fic I’m working on I think is pure shit and I don’t think I should even continue it. I feel like I’d let them down even more if I were to post that, so I want to have it perfect each time I post. Think about that too; I put in my fucking time because I care about what I post and I don’t post shit for just fucking notes or some dumb shit. If you knew me in real life you’d know that I hate fucking writing and it’s my least favorite subject, but i found a niche of writing I actually liked so I’m hard on myself when it comes to posting fics. 

If you really liked my stories, you’d see how much work I put into them. If you really liked my stories, I think it’s not much to ask you to understand I have a fucking life and there’s reasons i don’t post and that my life is not revolved around pleasing you or others. I ask for no one to ask about updates only because I hate responding with the same message, I don’t know. It’s going to be the same answer each time, and every time I tell people it just makes me feel worse because I hate that I can’t bring myself to do it and I feel like I really fucking suck and I know I do. Those asks clutter other people’s dashboards too, and what’s the point in those asks when I’ll never know when the update will be? 

Anyways, here’s your reason for why I haven’t updated. If you’re a reader I’d encourage you to start your own fics, that’s what happened to me when I couldn’t really find anymore fics to read or updates seized. It’s a fun, magical world, and over time you’ll grow and start getting better and better with it. You’ll also understand the work that comes with it and how difficult it is to actually produce a story and also juggling that time with your daily life. You say I’m talented, and that I should post more, but I really don’t think my ass brings any shit to the table compared to all these other amazing writers with great content on this website. Sorry I disappointed you and I can’t give you what you want, so I’m glad you unfollowed me because I don’t want to keep you hanging since I never know when I’ll update. You can easily find other users here that produce writing 10000x better than me, so check them out instead! But please, just understand they’re people with their own lives too and don’t ever send them an ask as disrespectful as this. Don’t let them feel bad about themselves, don’t tell them you were upset because they don’t update according to your calendar. Appreciate them for what they put out, thank them for putting all their time and effort into their works, tell them how much you love their stories and cheer them on and continue to support and respect them for when they have time to update. Thanks and sorry again

anonymous asked:

We all enjoy a little jealously and possessiveness, from both Yuuri and Victor. I would like to know what is your limit on jealously and possessiveness? What do you consider 'too far'/'too much'? I know a lot of this depends if it's Cannon or AU, and of course the different AUs. We've seen what masquerade Victor is willing to do. What about Money Shot Victor? But, what is your general outlook on the subject? Thank you for your time!

I spent a lot of time thinking about how to answer this one in a way that makes sense, and in the end I still couldn’t come up with an answer that conveys my feelings on it properly.
I think for Masquerade that element is there because their relationship is/was secret, and they were already established. I’m all about a reasonable amount of jealously or possessiveness if it’s warranted, i.e. Yuuri was actually matched with another man so of course Victor was going to flip. 

I’m not really a fan of those petty jealous tropes, (sometimes it is funny and all in good humour though) like Victor being jealous of Yuuri’s tattoo artist because he saw Yuuri’s body is petty to me, and beneath Victor altogether. 

I can’t really answer about Money Shot Victor cos that would be spoilers, but I’m definitely doing my best to steer away from that gross ‘seme’/christain grey type persona that I loathe.

I also like possessiveness when there is a legitimate reason for it, or if it stems from insecurity or uncertainty, and when it’s mutual. I don’t like it when its demeaning or dehumanising or whatever, that’s not my jam at all. Like if the jealousy or possessiveness makes the other party actually uncomfortable and borders on abusive?? Then I’m not a fan. Not for this fandom anyway. 

I know it all sounds super vanilla and all flowers and puppies, but I’ve done my years and years long dash in possessive seme type non con fandoms where a fic wasn’t popular unless there was a rape tag, and I’m more than happy to not go back there again :3

anonymous asked:

What do you do on swagbucks?

Okay so the easiest activities are usually under “Sponsored Videos.”

The ones I do most are called “Take a discovery break” and “Web Basics.” Basically you just have to click a button every 20 seconds or so. I just mute my computer and let the activity run in the background while I browse tumblr. You can run the video playlists the same way. 

Some of the surveys are worthwhile, but I find that they take too much time for too little reward - especially since sometimes you get disqualified from them after you’ve already spent like ten minutes filling stuff out. 

For anyone wondering, this site is what I’m talking about. It’s legit, but it does take a while to build up money. It’s still worthwhile if you’re like me and have a lot of free time around the house.

The 2ps on Chopped

2p America, Eliminated the first round because there was meat in the basket. He set fire to the set later that night.

2p China, Has no plan, his dish is awful and he is illuminated very quickly.

2p England, Uses the ingredients in the basket in super creative ways, fights Italy tooth and nail for first place. Looses to Italy so he jacks Italy’s car later that night.

2p France, Has no idea what he’s doing. Literally just takes the ingredients out of the basket and puts them on a plate like, “Here I guess.”

2p Russia, Tries his best. Still fails.

2p Italy, Way too competitive. He definitely wins and uses the money he won to get fancy drunk only to wake up and find his car totaled.

2p Germany, Has no plan, his dish actually turns out ok. He spends a sold 3 minuets playing with the eggplant that he found in the basket.

2p Japan, the audience favorite that gets illuminated way too quickly. 100% helped America set fire to the set that night.

2p Romano, Eliminated like the 3rd round because his food was ok, but he spent way too much time on plaiting so only 1 judge got any food.

2p Prussia, The poor youngster in way over his head.

My friend and I went to Paris for a week, ate way too much food, spent way too much money, but we had an amazing time. And now that I’m back to work with jetlag and deadlines, I really wish I was still there. Being an adult is great sometimes, because there’s nothing like taking a trip like that with a friend. The bills and deadlines though, that’s not near as fun. Anyway, have some pictures!

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My sunshine boy

Originally posted by jaayhope

Genre: Fluff and a bit of angst

Word count: 1.5k

Pairing: Hoseok x ?? member

Warnings: N/A

A/N: hihi guysssssss i just found this old draft i did about a year ago???? idk but it was there and i found the storyline pretty interesting so i tidied it up a little bit and bOOM now it’s here enjoyyyyy ALSO PS i didn’t set a fixed member in this bc i want the reader to choose their own character, if that makes sense!! anyway enough of my ramblings, ENJOYYYYY

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