i spent too long on this do you know how hard it is to color dark scenes

So earlier today I got rather pissed off when some rude anon who has probably never made a GIF in their lives decided to attack my friend (and one of the best GIFmakers I know) for no reason telling them not to talk about GIFmaking like it’s a big deal since it’s just taking clips from existing video. I was hoping to forget about this, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how many non-GIFmakers really do think that’s all GIFmaking is (including myself before I started making GIFs to some extent). Luckily, most people aren’t that rude about it and know not to insult content creators over a topic they actually don’t know much about…but I still feel the need to discuss some of the often lengthy effort that goes into making medium to high quality GIFs.

As a disclaimer, I’m NOT trying to be elitist and I honestly don’t consider myself one of the top tier GIFmakers. I also don’t think that GIFmakers HAVE to put in a lot of effort to alter GIFs from the original video frames if they don’t want to. It’s just a hobby where we try to capture/highlight cool moments using a severely limited and dying file format lol…so it’s really up to the individual how much they wanna put into it. However, the truth of the matter is that many GIF and graphics makers that contribute greatly to numerous fandoms DO put in a significant amount of effort to make their GIFs look different from and better than the original video.


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Captain America 76th Anniversary Celebration Post

The very first Captain America comic has a release date of March 1941, so in order to celebrate the 76th Anniversary of our beloved Steven Grant Rogers, I have asked Tumblr users to submit their favorite Cap comic panels, art, quotes, pictures, meta, gifs, and/or write-ups on what Captain America means to them. And here is what Cap’s fans have to say… (please feel free to reblog and add your own favorite Steve Rogers moments, etc. to this post).

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soolber  asked:

Hey there! Could you possibly write more Yuri x Otabek (or just Yuri, lol) exhibitionism? You wrote something similar before and it was great :)

I know you requested Otabek and Yuri, but my hand slipped and it turned into Otapliroy. Whoops! It’s in the same universe as my last drabble, so I hope you like it! :P



JJ hadn’t suspected anything out of the ordinary when he received an early morning call from Otabek. They had become friends in Canada when they shared a rink together and now that JJ had decided to finally visit St. Petersburg, it made sense for Otabek to want to spend time with him. He told JJ to run over as soon as he could, assuring him that breakfast would be ready and that Yuri was also looking forward to seeing him. Emphasis on Yuri


The last time he had had any interaction with the punk was when Yuri had shown up at his place unexpectedly, pushed him against the door as soon as he was let in, and proceeded to give him one of the best blow jobs of his life. He said Otabek had given him permission and that he had always wanted a taste of him. Well, that would have been fine and dandy if it had been true. Turns out Yuri had used him as his own personal fucktoy and Otabek had in fact, not given permission. Too bad JJ was already finishing up inside of Yuri by the time Otabek arrived. 

Otabek had never gotten upset at him about it, even when JJ found out the truth and apologized, but after this morning’s phone call, he wasn’t so sure anymore. 

When JJ finally arrived, he was greeted by a smirking Otabek at the door who leaned in for a hug and invited him in. Nothing was seemingly out of the ordinary as they walked, Otabek appearing genuinely pleased that JJ had visited, but as they entered the kitchen, JJ’s jaw dropped, freezing in place as he stared on in disbelief.

Right in the center of a large assortment of breakfast items was a very naked Yuri. Bent over the table, his arms were tied behind his back, a blindfold covering his eyes, ball gag in his mouth, and what JJ assumed to be a vibrating bullet inside of him, string hanging down between his legs. The side of his face was pressed against the dark table, complimenting the color with his golden strands. He looked absolutely wrecked, as if he had been there a while.

JJ swallowed. Don’t get hard, don’t get hard. 

He turned to Otabek for answers, but Otabek’s expression remained casual as if his boyfriend weren’t whimpering on the kitchen table with a vibrator up his ass. 

JJ looked on as Otabek walked over to Yuri, unable to say anything. Otabek went on to remove Yuri’s ball gag and lightly moved his hair behind his ear. Yuri let out a small groan of relief, nudging his head against the hand on his head. His tongue darted out to lick his lips, saliva running down his chin. 

Staring at JJ directly, Otabek said, “Yuri, we have a guest today. He’s going to join me for breakfast and you’re going to entertain him. Is that understood?” 

JJ tried to cut in, confused as to what kind of situation he had just gotten himself into, “Beka–” but Yuri cut him off with a gasp, “Is that…JJ?” He sounded surprised. Embarrassed even. As if JJ hadn’t seen him in a sexual state before.

Then again, it had been a one-time thing, and Yuri had been in full control. Yuri, the ever-evolving monster, always in control, always calling the shots, never willing to submit. Never in a position where JJ potentially held complete and utter dominance over him.



JJ’s dick twitched, stirring in his jeans. He should turn around and go home, leaving the two boyfriends to resolve this sexual tension themselves, but he hesitated, locking eyes with Otabek again. 

“Yes. It’s JJ. And he came all this way here just to see us.”

Yuri shook his head, “Like hell! JJ, don’t look! Go into the other room or something!” he tried to close his legs together, the tremors in his body causing his usual venom to come out shaky and unconvincing. 

If this were any other time, JJ would have probably listened to Yuri, but Otabek had invited him there. He had planned this whole situation, knowing fully well that Yuri would be embarrassed about JJ being there. 

This was probably one of the punishments Otabek had mentioned that one time they had talked about sexual endeavors over a few beers. JJ had imagined it to be spanking or some other light shit, but this was way beyond that. This was downright hardcore. But also, unexpectedly, this was…really fucking hot.

Managing to get himself over the initial shock, JJ responded to Yuri, confidence lacing his words, “Sorry, Yuri–no can do. Beka’s right. I came all this way and I’m not planning on leaving any time soon.” 

JJ pulled up a chair and sat down in it, clasping his hands in front of him, pangs of adrenaline hitting his stomach in waves. Otabek nodded his approval at him. Whether he was ready or not, JJ was now in this for the long haul.

“See, Yuri? And since our guest was nice enough to visit, you’re going to show him what a good kitten you are.” 

Kitten. He called him “kitten.”

“But–” Yuri whined.

“Excuse me? Did you just talk back?” Otabek interrupted. 

It took a moment for Yuri to answer, chewing on his bottom lip, “…No, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Fucking hell. 

JJ couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The proud and domineering Yuri was not just only relinquishing power, but he was calling Otabek “Daddy.” This would definitely be a memory he’d never forget.

“Good. That’s what I thought.” He got off of Yuri, giving his ass a spank before walking over towards JJ and producing a control of some kind out of his back pocket. 

“What’s this?” JJ looked up at Otabek as he took hold of the device. 

“It controls the vibrator in him–eight different speeds. Knock yourself out. Oh, and, I hope you like the food. Yuri made it himself.” He let out a devious smirk that made JJ’s heart skip a beat. Who knew Otabek was such a freak?

As Otabek sat on the opposite end of the small table, grabbing toast and eggs to place on his plate, JJ looked on in wonder at the scene before him. He proceeded to take a sip of the water placed in front of him, stabilizing his breath before he switched the device to a higher setting. The buzzing of the vibrator got louder, causing Yuri to let out a surprised moan he failed at suppressing. 

JJ grabbed a slice of toast for himself, reaching for the butter and grabbing a few pieces of Canadian bacon. He felt his dick stand to full attention, pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. He wondered just how far Otabek was willing to take things as he clicked the device into yet a higher setting. 

Yuri’s wanton sounds prompted JJ to take a bite of his food. He reveled in his newfound power, looking forward to taking full advantage of it. 

JJ lifted his glass and looked over towards Otabek before cranking up the device to the highest setting. Yuri’s body convulsed as the first of many orgasms took him over in that moment, unable to control the buckling of his knees as he came hard on the floor in front of him. 


EDIT: One of my friends made me realize that I posted daddy kink on father’s day, so…. surprise!! Happy father’s day! LMAO 😂
Running from the truth.


Requested:  A one shot where the reader is a magic P.I. and the end up running away from an active crime scene and Graves pursues them, traps them and then holds the charge of the scene. 

Requested by: the awesome @anonymousglitchingowl I hope it’s good. It ended up being tweaked a bit by mistake, but I still hope you like it :)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2520

You don’t know how it got to this point.

How it got this far.

But it did.

After years of working as a magical P. I. And seeing all the terrors you’d seen, you saw too much. You’d seen so much and you knew you couldn’t go back…

No matter how hard you tried.

No matter how far you ran.

The magic you’d seen that night had been evil. It had been dark, cold and unnatural. It had scared you to your very core and no one understood that. No one understood what you’d seen or why you decided to turn your back on everything.


Including him.

The very wizard you knew you couldn’t outrun. A wizard who’d found out where you were after months of hiding. Hiding in New York city was difficult to achieve, especially with the trace Macusa had put on every single person who worked for them, but you had managed to hide for eight months. Hiding in plain sight, but tonight was different.

You could see it in the sky, the way the lightning struck in the sky above you, the dark navy colors swirling as you stood there. You stand with your hand pressed against a broken window pane, eyes trained on the sky.

You don’t know how you figured it out, but you knew you’d been found. It was as if you could feel it in your bones. Your (e/c) eyes widen when a shaking bang comes from overhead, your eyes finding the ground in front of you.  The old house you’d found in the oldest neighborhood in New York City had been your home for a mere two hours, but as you looked around now, you felt as if you’d been there forever. It was as if time was standing perfectly still, your eyes seeming to find the faint silhouette of men and women wearing long trench coats, their wands showing because of the lit tips.

Your heart seems to skip a beat at the sight until you hear the faint whisper of his voice. A faint command that paralyzes you the moment you hear it.

“Close down the area…”

He rasps from a building across the room, his body emerging from the shadows to the moonlight in one swift movement. His coat seems to trail behind him like a cape, his sleek hair catching the light.

“… I’m in charge of what happens to her next.”

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darkotakucatgirl  asked:

I really love your work and style ~ especially the comic you have going on with Peter and Yondu. I just have a small question to ask; how do you choose your colour pallet? (I have a hard time and I find what I do, looks like a pop art piece)

Thanks so much, @darkotakucatgirl

I’m not that great w/ color still (it’s something that I’ve been struggling with and working on for years now haha…slowly but surely getting better at it, but it’s definitely not something I can intuit like others can). It’d be good to know some basic color theory of course. Understanding the color wheel and the concepts of monochromatic, analogous, complementary, triadic and split complementary colors is a good idea. Also understanding warm colors versus cold colors, and what these can say in a scene (bluer/cooler colors can be sad or calm, red can be angry or exciting, etc etc).

Apart from that, my usual process is to actually pick out the pallette before I even start coloring any scene in the comic. I usually pick out three or so colors (usually limit it to 2 or 3 main ones so as not to muddy it too much) based one 1) the local color of the scene and 2) the general atmosphere/feel I want to present. Some other things to keep in mind when you’re picking colors is what colors the characters (if any) or focal point of the piece consist of too. If you want them to pop out in the composition, you can use an opposing color for the backgrounds. If you want them and the background to be more unified you can have the pallette be more similar. 

So the Yondu comic for instance…

I had my 3 colors, which I chose for the rusty feeling of the inside of the ravager ship and color scheme + some pop color (which is Yondu’s skin actually lol), and I spent a moment blending them all together and coming up with a pallet of different colors I can use for the background painting. It’s pretty neat because you can come up with a pretty wide breadth of colors by just mixing 3 together, and they’re all generally unified. 

And since I’m a cheat, if I needed to get any darker with areas, or lighter, I picked one color from this pallette for shadow and another one for light, and I would brush the shadow color on a multiply layer onto the areas needing dark in it, and do the same w/ the light color for light areas, but this time with an overlay layer.  

I also did this with my comic Desendi. I have this pallet open while I work to pick and blend from, though it’s a lot less intelligible than the above haha

w/ the color scheme mostly being these adjacent colors of green/yellow/cyan, plus some Orange here and there for pop and warmth. Odessa and the other characters in this scene tend to wear more saturated and warm colors compared to the BG to so they don’t sink in too much through the course of the scene (if I did my job right). 

Long story short - Good idea to limit your colors based on both the local colors of the environment and what feeling you want to put across, build a pallette out of those colors with mixing so that it stays generally unified, use saturation and pop colors generally sparingly. 

So yeah, relatively basic stuff, but I hope it helped a little? If there are any more questions I’d be happy to see if I can say anything! Like I said, I’m really still learning too, and trying to figure out how to make these things work. Color is hard!!  

With You By My Side - Four

A/N: I have said this before and I’ll say it again. This series is gonna be 90% angst. By now you all know that the Reader is sick with terminal cancer, so it shouldnt come as a surprise that its gonna be a bumpy ride. I will try and warn appropriately in each chapter, but if I do miss something, please let me know. Also, thank you for all of your feedback, keeps me motivated and inspired. An last but not least, thank you to my beautiful beta @thorne93, you are a life saver.

Characters: Jensen, Reader. 

Warnings: Sick reader, some angst,  some fluff, probably some language.

Wordcount: 1453

Catch up HERE

*Not my GIF*

Originally posted by zest-wincest

Once Jensen parked his car in your driveway you all but jumped out and walked inside the house as fast as your body would allow. Jensen watched you disappear through your door from the car, taking a deep breath to collect himself before he followed with the small bag you had brought with you to and from the hospital. He couldn’t imagine the things that were going through your mind at this point, all he knew was that he needed to be here for you.

You threw yourself down on your bed and let a few quiet tears fall from your eyes. There were so many things that ran through your mind, removing the stitches, starting chemo, getting sicker, dying. You were scared, of course you were, but you knew that Jensen was going to be there with you every step of the way, you knew that nothing in this world could keep him away because that was the kind of man he was, and that was only one of the many reasons you loved him. Guilt clenched at you as you realized he was downstairs alone, probably confused as to why you gave him the cold shoulder, probably struggling with this as much, if not more, as you were. at least you had him to lean on, but who did he have? You had told him not to tell anyone what was going on, but you realized now that he would need someone to help him through this as well.

You didn’t know how much time had passed when you finally emerged from your room and joined him downstairs, finding him by the kitchen table with a coffee in his hands.

“Hey,” you tried quietly.

“Hey,” he responded with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Please. The stuff they serve at the hospital doesn’t really qualify as coffee,” you joked as you sat down across from him. There was a few moments of silence as he got a mug ready and placed it in front of you before taking a seat himself. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” he assured with a slight nod.

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Come Away With Me (1/1)

Summary: Emma feels trapped in her role as princess and yearns for a life of freedom and adventure. A certain pirate offers her everything she’s ever wanted and more. On AO3.
Rating: M (mentions of sex but no actual smut, could probably be rated T but this is just in case)
Word Count: ~5100

Emma managed to escape the chaos of the ball while Grumpy and Sneezy caused a scene, loudly arguing over something petty, no doubt, and putting a damper on the otherwise festive atmosphere. She’d never been more grateful for her honorary uncles’ ill-tempered manners.

Her formal attire was beyond uncomfortable. No matter how many times she’d told her dressmaker to use soft, delicate materials like silk or velvet, the woman seemed to have her heart set on whatever new and exotic and stylish fabrics she could find. (Oftentimes, this backfired, leaving Emma with red rashes from chafing. But luckily, trends tended to be set by royalty so Emma had the benefit of seeing the rest of the court in gowns just as uncomfortable.) The lacy edges itched her skin, the corset was laced a bit on the tight side, and the beaded necklace she wore kept catching on the baby fine hairs on the back of her neck. It was dreadful.

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Waywood short

This is a waywood short that I wrote after being inspired by @cassandrajp and her waywood fan art that has officially taken over my life so expect more of this and biggest creds to her

Michael leaned against Robert as they discussed plans of what to do. They were on break and had wasted half of it just trying to find an activity they both could agree on. They had decided to go skinny dipping. Well, Michael had decided, and Robert was running out of reasons to say no.

Michael watched as Robert’s wheels spun, a crease forming between his eyebrows. Michael could only imagine, and, in fact, had spent a lot of time imagining what went on in Robert’s head.

“Michael?” Robert shook his shoulder. He blinked a bit, returning from the land of his thoughts. Robert ran his hands through his hair, thinking hard about something. Michael had spent so much time imagining what it would be like to run. Before he could be sucked back into his thoughts, he anchored himself on the present and Robert’s voice.

“Okay, I’m only agreeing because I’m out of reasons to say no, so let’s do it.” Michael grinned widely. Hopping up, he helped Robert out of his seat.

“This is going to be great. We just have to get ready and find a way to sneak out.” Robert frowned at the words, “sneak out” and it threw Michael off guard. Robert had never really had a problem with sneaking out when they’d done it before. He watched as Robert shook his head- and his doubts- away.

“Okay, yeah. Let’s get ready. We’re going to actually do this.” Michael grinned at him and grabbed some towels to bring with them. He didn’t think they’d need much else.

Soon, it was dark. They had decided to sneak out through the window of Robert’s room. They landed on the ground with two soft thuds and headed off into the night. Michael looked over at Robert. His hard features were barely visible in the dim light.

“Why do you look so tense?” He watched Robert and waited for his answer. Soon enough, Robert relaxed and shrugged.

“We’re about to jump into a hallucinogenic lake naked, and if we get caught, we’re dead. Not to mention, if we swallow any water, we’re also dead. How are you not tense?” Michael shrugged, laughing.

“If I got nervous over every stupid choice I made, I would literally never be relaxed.” Robert shoved him playfully as they approached the lake. Michael looked at the lake. Now that they were here, he felt kind of queasy, but he had to be loose for Robert. He loved his friend, but Robert was tense enough for both of them. He needed to relax, and that was Michael’s job- to relax him.

He looked over at Robert, who looked way too nervous, for a teenager who was making mischief. Michael decided to take the first leap and started taking off his shirt. He knew Robert was watching him, always relying on him to show him what to do; that this was a good idea. Michael had never minded that.

He always liked to think that they complemented each other perfectly. Michael was relaxed and spontaneous; always making stupid plans that weren’t supposed to work but did. Robert was smarter and more careful, but without being pushed, he never left his comfort zone. Weighed pros and cons before leaping into a stupid choice.

Michael continued undressing until he was bare and waited for Robert to do the same. Soon enough, Robert was undressing too. Michael had to stare at the ground so he wouldn’t get caught staring. Not that he’d never seen Robert undress- they changed in front of each other all the time. They never had a reason not to. But in that moment, he knew if he looked up, he’d never be able to look away. He felt Robert take his hand and, together, they neared the edge of the lake. He looked over at Robert’s face. He was about to step into the water when Robert tugged him back, away from the edge a bit.

“Don’t forget to keep your lips shut so you don’t swallow the water.” Robert reminded him, with a strange intensity that was so endearingly… Robert. Michael nodded and squeezed Robert’s hand, giving him a smile before letting go and jumping in the lake. Robert followed suit immediately after.

They came up from under the water, shaking their heads before the water could drip into their eyes. The water felt strange; nothing like regular water. Micahel climbed up onto the grass and fell back into the grass, and felt Robert lay beside him, both of them laughing. Despite their best efforts, the water had taken effect anyways.

Michael looked up at the sky. It was so colorful, and streaked with stars, and displaying scenes his mind couldn’t even comprehend. He knew without asking that Robert was seeing the same thing. He looked over as he felt Robert’s fingers intertwine with his. He couldn’t be sure if it was a hallucination, but the pressure felt real. It felt like Robert was the only thing grounding him to reality.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been lying there when the water’s effects finally wore off, but he did know that he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to lay in the grass next to Robert, holding his hand and pretending that everything would stay this way forever. He could feel it- his mind the way it always felt when it was starting to wander. When it wanted to think about Robert, but not as his friend, his soul’s other half, or his parabatai. No, his mind was wandering to the place where it always hurt to go. To the space where he and Robert could be together. Where he didn’t have to fear Robert knowing his secret or his feelings. Where it wasn’t Maryse that Robert was kissing or saying “I love you” to.

In this part of his mind, it was him; he was the one Robert wanted and no one cared that they were happy and together. Michael very rarely allowed himself to wander into that part of his brain, because coming back to reality- a place where he and Robert could never have that… For so many reasons, it hurt. It hurt in ways he couldn’t explain or understand.

He was snapped out of his daydreams by Robert pulling him up and saying something about needing to get home before his parents found them missing. Michael nodded and hopped up, and they began to run home, not bothering to put on their clothes on first. They climbed back in through the window and threw their clothes on the ground. Then, Michael noticed it was almost dawn and understood why Robert had rushed him back. He got dressed and, following Robert’s example, climbed into bed next to him. Looking over, Robert caught Michael’s gaze and smiled.

“Thanks for making me go tonight. I did have fun.” Michael smiled. Hearing those words made pride surge through him. He had given Robert a fun night. He couldn’t give him everything that he wanted to, but he could, at least, give him a fun time. That would have to be enough for him. He watched Robert fall asleep and, for the first time in a while, he allowed his daydreams to overwhelm him.

Are you in the Zombies Run fandom? Do you like FREE ART? Hell yes and YES!!

OK guys, here’s the deal. I’m trying to reboot this blog and my (lbr) stagnant art life and I’d like to do it by having a little FUN. 

From what I’ve seen the ZR fandom appears to be made entirely of kind, sweet, insanely intelligent and absurdly attractive cinna-buns, and I’ve spent a long time ogling your artwork and crying over your fanfic, so now I’d love to do something that makes you guys happy, too.

So here’s my plan: using Season 1 of ZR, I’d like to draw a scene from each of the 23 episodes with a different Runner 5 - YOUR Runner 5s! These pics may be pencil sketches or ink washes or full, glorious color, but at the end of it I’d love to have 23 scenes featuring some of the different and wonderful 5′s of the fandom.

“Sounds awesome” you say. “What do I need to do?”

  1. Be in the ZR fandom. I don’t care if that means you’ve written an in-depth analysis of how Netrophil started or if you’ve only walked one episode. If you consider yourself a fan and you want to engage with the fandom, you’re in.
  2. Message me! That’s it! Just introduce yourself and where you are in the ZR story! (just don’t be on anon when you do, bc that won’t help either of us).

That’s it! If you want to reblog this post so that others can see it, so much the better, but it isn’t a requirement for getting a picture.

Once I’ve gotten 23 messages, I’ll fill out the episode list based on the order I received the notes in, and write them under the cut below. I’ll draw the images in that order and tag them as #allthe5s

(yeah, I know, there are like thousands of you and I probably won’t literally be drawing ALL-THE-5S but that sounds like a better tag than #23-5s).

FINAL NOTE: I will be completely honest with you that I am the slowest artist alive, and I’ll still be drawing other things in the meantime, so I don’t have a hard and fast deadline I’m sticking with for getting all of these done. But rest assured that unless a refrigerator falls from the sky and lands on my head, they will be done.

Love you guys. Now send me your 5s so I can get drawing!

The list if filled! Thanks to everyone who reblogged and signed up!

1. Jolly Alpha Five Ninernonhoration - link

2. Distraction: thetalkingcrocus - link

3. Lay of the Landzeph-chan - link

4. A Lost Childcinderscoria - link

5. Paul Revere: drmaxinemeyers - link

6. Supply Runpuptart - link

7. A Voice in the Darktheinevitablesmiley - link

8. The Old Milldontwakethesnake - link

9. Recoverykayomielatoro - link

10. Tesssocks-and-ink  - link

11. Back to School: runnereight - link

12. Alternatescelinejaneway - link

13. A Regular Med Runexistingawkwardly - link

14. Patient 29fullofsoulandsunshine - link

15. Virtuous Circlethewondersmith - link

16. Scouting Missionkatesparrowlagertha - link

17. Information Exchange: eruvadhril - link

18. Eavesdroppingstardust-rain - link

19. An Unimportant Missionrunnerzero - link

20. Listen Inthemortalscout - link

21. Siege: o0yono0o - link

22. Hordeabelrunners - link

23. Aftermath: let-there-be-neverending-light - link

EXTRA: In that I feel bad that I probably posted this too late, went to bed, and woke up to a bunch of sweet messages - I probably won’t be able to include you guys in the S1 episode list, but if I have time I’ll try and draw something for you!







With These Hands

Hey, could you maybe do an imagine where the reader is an orphaned teenager and was brainwashed like Bucky and she used to work for Hydra cause she was good at fighting and also an elemental and she stayed with Bucky after they escaped and they know what each other went through so they’re like really really good friends and they think of each as family. Could you maybe do a scene from civil war or just a scene from before where they’re just like living together or something? Thanks 😊💘

I love this prompt so much. Hope you don’t mind but I changed it a little bit. This story turned out to be A LOT darker than I planned. Feedback is always welcome! Enjoy! For anon.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 1225

Warnings: mentions of torture, suicide

It’s pretty angsty and depressing. Absolutely no fluff here.

The smell of stale blood. The sound of echoing screams. The colors of the laboratory. It would not stop haunting you. You knew you were dreaming. But you had no control.

The scientists dragged you into a cramped cell, forcing a gag in your throat. They didn’t have to, your voice was already gone the moment they kidnapped you from New York. One of the scientists grabbed you by the hair and another one stuck a needle in your arm to tranquilize you.

After God knows how long, you wake up on a cold metal table, naked and screaming. The bright fluorescent light blinded you from seeing what was around you. It smelled like rubbing alcohol. Your body was numb, so numb that you thought they had cut off your limbs.But you could hear clearly. And you remember their words.

“Ms. (L/n), you will be the next step in human evolution.”

You wake up, panting, sweating, and Bucky by your side. His face was scrunched up with worry, afraid he was going to lose you to the past. He knew that whatever HYDRA put into you was still there, and in him too. Bucky was kneeling by your bed, holding your hand with his right hand. Feeling his pulse and warmth brought you back to reality. You look at him with tearful eyes. No words were shared between the two of you. No words were necessary to communicate the pain and regret that both you experienced. Sniffling, you fall into his arms. His soothing embrace doesn’t calm you. If anything, it only reminds you of the shit you’ve been through.

“I can’t do this anymore, Bucky. It’s too hard,” you sob into his chest. He shushes you as he pats your head gently.

“You’re strong, (y/n). I know you can do this,” Bucky whispers. He knows what you’re going to say. You’ve said it a million times before.

“But I can’t. I wake up from these nightmares, and I live my life scared it’ll happen again,” you cry. Your life isn’t even a life. Every day is spent confined in the dark and secluded apartment, afraid you’ll be noticed if you go outside. Any sound you hear puts you on edge, because you think it’s someone trying to kill you. Or worse. Take you back. It was getting too hard to live this life, if this is what you called a life. “I should just…kill myself,” you whisper. “I’d being doing everyone a favor.”

“No,” Bucky says sternly. You were the one thing keeping him here. He couldn’t lose you. “You’re not going to kill yourself.” It pained him to even think about what you would do to yourself if he wasn’t here. All those years under HYDRA, you and Bucky were under their commands. Lab rats. Assassins. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do.”

Quieting your cries, you looked at Bucky. His cold blue eyes bore into you, a spark of hope inside his eyes. He was right. He couldn’t lose you. And you couldn’t lose him. But everyday, you were losing your mind. Even without HYDRA brainwashing you five times a day, you were still subconsciously under their command. You’d rather not live than live with their filth plaguing your brain.

“You know I was supposed to turn twenty, the day before they caught me?” you mumble. “It was the day before my twentieth birthday. I had no one to celebrate it with, though. My parents were long gone, and my friends…well, who’d want to be friends with me?” You laugh quietly, a cold, frozen laugh. You glanced at Bucky, he was listening to your story. He was surprised by your openness. Never had you been so open about your past. “I was walking home from work. There was riot on the street that I usually took, so I went a different way. And they took me. Right off the street.” You laugh bitterly at the memory. “Every fucking day since, I’ve wanted to die.”

“I’m not going to let that happen to you. None of this is your fault,” Bucky replies. You’ve heard him say that a thousand times before. He was right, it wasn’t your fault. But you still did it. All the murders, all the dirty work.

“I know Bucky, I know,” you say calmly. You lift yourself off the bed and walk towards the fridge. While you were grabbing the bottle of water, you saw a gun on top of the fridge. Your eyes flickered back and forth. This was your chance. A chance to flee from all of this shit. You gulp, hoping Bucky didn’t hear your thoughts. But he did. He runs for the gun and snatches off the fridge. Your heart beats quickly, but Bucky’s beats even faster.

“You thought I would,” you say with a cold smile.

“You weren’t going to. But I wasn’t gonna to risk it,” he says back.

You place the water bottle on the counter. “Don’t worry Barnes, I’m not going anywhere.” You sit down on the couch and look intently at your hands. All the memories of the awful things you’ve done with your hands flash past your eyes, making you wince in pain. What could you do to wash your hands clean of all the blood? How could you forget all the faces of your victims?

Bucky sits down next to you, and put his metal arm around your shoulder. He knows exactly what you’re thinking about, because he thinks about it every second of every day too. He had been there, all those missions. And you had been at his side, every mission.

Still looking at your hands, you think of the last time you used your abilities. Controlling the elements, nature at your will. It was unnatural, to say the least. And they had told you that you were “enhanced”. Scoffing at their words, you clasp your hands together. Then Bucky does something, something he had never done before. He places his right hand on your closed hands, and gently rubs his thumb on the back of your hand. You feel his affection and love in every nerve of your body. His calloused hands firmly held yours, as if he was afraid of losing you forever.

“You’re not weird,” he says quietly.

You chuckle, “Thanks. Really reassuring.”

A smile plays on his lips. You haven’t seen him smile like that before. “You’re beautiful. Whether you see it or not, I do,” he confesses. He takes your hand and intertwines his hand with yours. “Whatever you’ve done with these hands, and whatever you will do with these hands, it won’t ever erase the person you are. You’re still the nineteen year old from New York.”

His kind words warm your frozen heart. He had never expressed himself in this way to you before. And Bucky was just as surprised as you are. He thought he was no longer capable of emotions. But after all those years of enslavement under HYDRA, he finally realized his feelings that he had buried in his heart. He loved you.

You look at him with wide eyes, confused. Searching his eyes for honesty, you stare at him.

“And I mean every word,” he says reassuringly.

“I know Barnes,” you smile. You loved him back.

Originally posted by stanxstan


Elliot Miller: Unravelled 

Meeting Elliot Miller was similar to what we imagine meeting a wizard would be like. We recently spent some time at his house in South Oakland and got to know a little more about one of our favorite local artists. He greeted us wearing a black t-shirt that read “Do Not Resuscitate” and lead us to what we think was initially designed as a kitchen, but now lacked a dining table and most ordinary kitchen appliances. The room felt quiet and full of something unseeable, something dangerous that made us feel meek. As he lit a cigarette, he answered some of our questions. 

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Wildest Dreams | Bucky Barnes & Reader.

Originally posted by rudylise

Word Count // 2.9k
Warnings // language, a fair amount of talk about sex, mild description of nudity, talk off an affair.
Reader Gender // female.
Pairings // reader & bucky.
Author’s Note // so basically, listen to madilyn bailey’s cover of wildest dreams and imagine it’s the reader singing.

i skipped sections of the song, because i was too lazy to write them in, but the reader still sang the whole song.
Summary // bucky is the reader’s wildest dream.
Y/N = Your Name.
Y/E/C = Your Eye Color.
Y/N/N = Your Nickname.
Y/L/N = Your Last Name.
Y/H/C = Your Hair Color.
I was in love with James Buchanan Barnes and there was no denying it. He carried himself like he was a God – and he sure as hell looked like one – and the height difference between us was heavenly.
His dark hair, that brushed the surface of his shoulders, was terribly soft when I ran my fingers through it and his piercing blue eyes – despite the pain I often found in them – made my insides turn to mush. His expression was almost always serious, but when it wasn’t, it sent my heart into overdrive.

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MTVS Epic Rewatch #93

BTVS 4x09 Something Blue

This is why I like this season, because in spite of its mayor season arc flaws, it gave us episodes like this. And we should all be grateful for the fact that Something Blue is something that exists in this world.

Suggested soundtrack to listen to while you read this recap (inspired by this episode):

At the Bronze

Non wedding

Stray thoughts

1) Break my heart why don’t you.

2) This was clearly foreshadowing, right? I mean, a huge “LESBIAN” sign in a Willow-centric episode? How did we not see it coming?


I never know how you’re going to react to something. That’s why I like you so much. You’re a mystery. Probably every beautiful girl in the world has some jerk telling her she’s a mystery, but.. I swear. You really are. There’s a lot about you that needs puzzling out.

It’s a pity that once he puzzled her out, he couldn’t really handle the mystery and he ended up resenting the very thing that made him fall in love with her.


It’s just, different, you know? A picnic. First of all, daylight — kind of a new venue, Buffywise. And the best part — he said he would bring all the food, so all I have to do was to show up and eat. Those are two things I’m really good at.

And this is why, in spite of how things ended, Riley was exactly what Buffy needed at this point in life.

5) “Seeing Angel in LA.. even for five minutes.. hello to the pain.” If you’ve seen I Will Remember You, you’ll understand how heartbreaking this supposedly casual line really is.

6) Oh this was the quote I couldn’t remember while watching Pangs, when Buffy said she likes her men evil.

But I can’t help thinking — isn’t that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it’s nuts, but.. part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.

Buffy and Veronica need to get together and talk this shit out. (for the VM fans: roller coasters.)

7) I love this moment…

Buffy:  Look at my poor neck… All bare and tender and exposed. All that blood just pumping away..

Giles: Oh, please.

Spike: Giles, make her stop.

Giles: If those two don’t kill eachother, I might lend a hand.


Giles: Willow may have had a very helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz’s departure, don’t you think?

Buffy: She still has a way to go, but yeah, I think she’s dealing.

Spike: What, are you people blind? She’s hangin’ on by a thread. Any ninny can see that.

I’ve always loved how observant and insightful Spike was, he was always dropping these truth bombs when the Scoobies were oblivious to reality.


Spike: “Passions” is on! Timmy’s down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I’ll…

Giles: You’ll do what? Lick me to death?


Willow: I interrupted. You’ve got apples. My mist.

Riley: Wait. Sit. There’s plenty to go around.

This is why Riley was pretty likable in season 4. I mean, any other dude on a date would be more than glad to see the third wheel leave, but Riley noticed Willow was not doing great and he invited her to join them (and he didn’t do it to look nice in front of Buffy either, he was the kind of guy who cared about how other people felt.) Oh Riley, I merely liked you on season 4, but I hate that I hate you so much on season 5.

11) It doesn’t get more early 2000s than having Blink 182′s “All the Small Things” playing in the background, right?

12) Does anyone know how many haircuts/hair color changes Emma had during her time in BTVS? It always seemed as though she changed it every other episode, it was so hard to keep up with all of them!

13) We’ve all felt like this at some point or another, right? We can all relate.

Willow: I just can’t stand feeling this way. I want it to be over.

Buffy: It will. I promise. But it’s gonna take time.

Willow: Well, that’s not good enough.

Buffy: I know. It’s just how it is. You have to go through the pain.

Willow: Well, isn’t there someway I can just make it go away? Just ‘cause I say so? Can’t I just make it go ‘poof’?


Okay, two things. A) How did she get that many candles? That’s a lot of money spent on candles for a college student, don’t you think? And more importantly B) It’s very clear in this episode that Willow’s abuse of magic was already starting to become an issue. I mean, I can’t remember the last time she actually used magic to fight the supernatural, she was simply turning to magic more frequently to solve everyday human problems (this is actually very similar to what happens two seasons later in Tabula Rasa, so the magic abuse thing had been a long time coming…) Which begs the question: if she had started to show signs of getting in too deep and becoming reckless and relying too much on magic to deal with normal stuff that did not require any kind of magic whatsoever, how come the Scoobies didn’t take notice or try to deal with it somehow? And I know I mentioned this before, but Giles. I mean, Giles! He should’ve seen the signs, he should’ve been more stern, he should’ve mentor her the same way he did AFTER she went off the deep end. Granted, he did try to warn her in this episode, but it was a feeble and unsuccessful attempt, and that speech should’ve come after the debacle. But he ate his cookies and got his sight back, so it was all good.

I think this is also a writing problem. I read somewhere that Joss had intended to kill off Tara and therefore turn Will into Dark!Willow during season 5 - hence all the setup for that arc in season 4. But he loved Tara’s and Willow’s relationship so much that he decided to put off Willow’s magic arc for the next season. So honestly, we should really count our blessings here. We could’ve had Tara for a way shorter time than what we got. Anyway, the point is, as a result of this writing choice, we get to see the seeds of Willow’s addiction to magic in season 4 but the “pay-off” (if it can be called that way) comes two seasons later, so we actually see Willow slowly losing herself in magic and its power, which in turn makes the Scoobies look like lousy friends who didn’t realize their friend was on a colission course FOR OVER TWO YEARS.

Long rant over. Peace out.

15) “You know.. not too keen about this spell stuff. Tends to be a bit unpredictable.” How come Spike is the wise man in this scenario?

16) Amy…

…the rat.

(she was naked but her hair was totally different and she had a lot of make-up on?)

17) I can’t watch this scene without thinking of this post. Bless you, @marilynmay​!

Buffy: Oh, make a move, please. I’m dying for a good slay.

18) I’ll just leave this here…


19) She was rude, but she wasn’t wrong…

Willow: Yeah, ‘cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don’t think so. I think we’re all doomed to badness.

Xander: We’re not doomed.

Willow: Oh, yeah? Let’s look at your bio. Insect Lady, Mummy Girl, Anya.. You’re a demon magnet.


Buffy: I’m not crazy, and I know that you probably don’t approve, and my father’s not that far away, I mean, he could, but this day is about family, my real family, and I would like you to be the one to give me away.

Giles: Oh, Buffy! That’s… that’s so…

      21) Where did she get this, though?


      Buffy: What’s wrong with Buffy?

      Giles: Huh.. such a good question.


      Spike: Well, it’s a terrible name.

      Buffy: My mother gave me that name.

      Spike: Your mother, yeah, she’s a genius.

      Oh this is so unlike Spike! He totally adored Joyce!

      24) Please stop whatever you’re doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.

      25) And look who’s back!

      Also, remember the amulet, it’s going to come in handy later on.


      Spike: They’re strong, and I can’t fight. If they get in, I don’t know if I can protect you.

      Buffy: You think you have to protect me?

      Spike: Oh, not with the Girl-Power bit!

      I’m glad they mentioned Spike’s inability to fight, because before rewatching this episode I was wondering how they were going to handle Spike surrounded by demons and not throwing a punch to protect Buffy (it would’ve given away the fact that he actually could fight other demons…)



      Spike: Don’t I get a cookie?

      Buffy: No.

      Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.

      Buffy: You’re a pig, Spike.

      Spike: Yeah.. well I’m not the one who wanted, “Wind Beneath My Wings” for the first dance.

      29) Okay, I’ll admit this scene gave me minor tingly feelings.

      Buffy: You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley.

      Riley: You’re gonna teach me.

        30) On a scale from puppies to pizza, how much do you love this episode?

        Time After Time- AmeCan time travel

        “We were meant to meet and fall in love huh?” Alfred asks in the quiet of the motel room. He looks into the eyes of the person sitting across from him.

        “From what Matt tells me,” Matthew responds. “It was a fairytale romance. It sounds quite nice.”

        Alfred studies Matthew for a moment- with his big soulful blue eyes, his curling blond hair, his soft face. He could see, in other circumstances, how he could fall in love with Matthew. Slow and sweet and full of quiet words whispered late at night but no less loud and joyful and playful in the morning. The thought of what could be—what was meant to be—makes him ache.

        “Can’t be helped I guess,” Matthew says, and after a moment’s hesitation he reaches out to gently take hold of Alfred’s hand. “Maybe fate has it that we should fall in love a different way.”

        They look into each other’s eyes, imagining a future that could be, and Matthew leans his head back against the dingy old comforter of the motel bed. Alfred mirrors him and leans against the bed behind him. He squeezes Matthew’s hand, staying connected with the man who is, supposedly, his soul mate.

        It is a quiet moment full of longing and warmth.

        The sound of gunshots shatter the scene, and Alfred leaps to his feet instantly. Matthew is close at his heels as they grab their things. They had an exit procedure, an escape route that they’d been drilled in more times than they could count.

        The door slams open before they make it far, and they both freeze in place. They wonder if this is the moment when they will die, the time they couldn’t escape fast enough to save their own skin…

        But all is well. Matt and Al- looking exhausted and a bit bloody- burst into the room.

        “We gotta go!” Al shouts, hurrying them out. “The car’s out back. They caught up.”

        Al’s face is the same as Alfred’s own if he were older, and for a moment he has to fight back vertigo. Al is his future self, apparently, and although Alfred has spent rather a lot of time around him, Al’s presence always makes him uneasy.

        How could he become such a different person in only 15 years?

        But that’s a question for another time… Now it’s time to flee from the people who want to destroy Al and Matt- and their work in the future- by taking out their past.

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        All Roads Lead to O-L-I-C-I-T-Y

        Wow. I don’t even know where to begin. I have so many thoughts running through my head. So many feels. To tell you I haven’t been thinking about Olicity for the past 36 hours straight would be an outright lie. Oliver and Felicity will be the death of me, I swear. Soooo….let’s just start at the beginning and go scene by scene:

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        Boo At The Zoo

        I received no less than four messages harassing me about my tags on a Halloween with Ginny Baker post I made, so this is your fault. Credit to the better of two hashtags in this fic goes to @this-too-too-sullied-flesh and credit for Mike feeling things goes to @ohmyohpioneer​. You are both awful people for making this fic happen.

        “Tell me why, exactly, I’m doing this Halloween with the Animals thing again?”

        “It’s called Boo At the Zoo, Baker, and it’s a goddamn tradition, so you’re gonna grit your teeth and bear it. Do it with a smile on your face.”

        The way her lips slide across her teeth is more of a grimace than anything else, but Mike ignores it. Of the two of them, Mike had never expected to be the one who became over enthusiastic about anything, but here they were - half the team wrangled in by Mike’s this-is-not-a-negotiation speech about helping out the community, spending the third weekend of their off season riding a bus to the zoo like a bunch of twelve-year-olds.

        Not making it into the post season hadn’t exactly been great for team morale, and usually Mike would walk it off, let everyone stew for a while, but he’d spent the first week off being told by no less than a thousand doctors (Sue him, he exaggerates. It’s his thing. Another one of his things.) one obnoxious fact - his knees are shot, his back is only going to get worse, and if he makes it to forty without surgery they’ll personally name him a miracle of modern medicine. And instead of stewing in that delicious pot of angst and self loathing, Mike had decided to try team building activities instead.

        He’s ignoring it. In major denial. Completely unhealthy, what he’s doing, but hey, he actually saw Duarte smile five minutes ago, so at least there’s that.

        “Boo At The Zoo. Seriously, old man?”

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        tabloid trash 3/?

        an: This is mostly set-up and involves zero actual Emma/Killian interaction, but I promise you they’re in each others thoughts.  





        Two Years Ago:
        Neal Cassidy OUT!
        Sources close to the set of the juggernaut of a trilogy “Tall Tales” have confirmed that Neal Cassidy, former beau of starlet Emma Swan and co-star in the fairytale trilogy, has been ousted from the cast under a set of unknown circumstances. Many believe the firing comes on the heels of the very public break up of the two stars, but the rumors surrounding the duo continue to swirl in an unconfirmed shroud of mystery.
        Has Regina Mills worked her legal magic once again? Is there more to this tale than we know? At this point it seems highly unlikely we will ever truly know the facts, but we can’t help feeling like Cassidy got the short end of the stick here.


        Killian gets to set early, just as makeup is arriving. They all look a little green under the gills - it’s three in the morning and not a single one of them has the paper coffee cups he’s used to seeing clutched in the hands of over-tired crew members. They all give him tired waves, and he smiles back before turning on his heel and heading straight back to his car. 

        It’ll be another thirty minutes before they’re set up for anything, and Killian happens to have a very fine espresso machine and a plethora of coffee products lining his granite countertops in the rented two-story he’s staying in. If there’s one thing he knows for sure, it’s that plying the early crew with coffee is one sure-fire way to ingratiate himself. It’s a five minute drive to the house, and over time he’s gotten to near business-people rush barista levels at brewing up an excellent latte, and he’s back with eight perfect cups just in time to catch one of the girls knocking on his trailer door. 

        He’s seen her around before - she’s not hard to spot, really, all long legs and tight leggings, hair dark and long save for the streak of color (it’s red, now, bright and overbearing in the awful glare of the flourescent lights lining the trailer lot), and she’s been sweet and kind so far.

        “I come bearing gifts,” he tells her on a grin, and when the girl turns her head to see his precarious balancing act she looks like she’s just seen heaven. 

         "Oh god, marry me,“

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        talisman975  asked:

        Imagine if En had a nightmare about cockroaches and Atsushi has to comfort him.

        This turned into a sort of doodled rambling - and please excuse me for mixing like 3 styles in it, I have no coherency whatsoever and I had no proper plan for this, so.

        I need to tag eternalsailorserena​ as well, because some time ago she said she wanted to see En deal with his cockroaches phobia in season 2, and I added I wanted to see Kinshiro putting one in his jacket as soon as he finds En asleep at school again. 

        (I am very sorry for my broken English and also for everything else including the length of the post and using the title of such a good book for such a stupid thing but here I go)

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