i spent time on this because of reasons

istrus  asked:

have you ever thought about the fact that most of the ipre probably had families they left behind and lost when the hunger took their home planet

hoooo…boy. that sure is a thought. 

i don’t think merle had kids on his original plane. i think he had spent too much time in pan camp and with his plants. he probably left those camps and found out that plantfuckers are, like, not everyone’s favorite variety of person? a little bit ostracized, i think. the people on the starblaster were his first real sense of family.

(i also think merle carries that over into faerun, and i think that’s part of the reason he marries hecuba - because he’s trying to create for himself the family he misses so much and doesn’t even know he’s lost. but that’s another post.)

davenport lost a lot. his entire life was the starblaster. i’ve always seen him as a community-raised orphan. every mentor he had was affiliated with the mission somehow: scientists, engineers, chemists, the lot. when their first world was consumed, davenport lost all the family he knew. i think it took him a long time to open up, because he was grieving so badly for everyone he knew, but when he finally opens up it marks a serious shift from davenport the captain to davenport the reclusive kinda-dad with a penchant for mischief. 

barry had brothers. two of them, both older. one of them was incredibly studious, the other kinda like magnus - tall and strong and perpetually cheery. he takes a little bit from both brothers on the starblaster: his intelligence and his wry humor. he and magnus grow close extraordinarily quickly, not in small part because a. they’re both human and b. magnus reminds him so, so much of the people barry loves. 

lup and taako lost their aunt, of course. she was really their only tie to the original plane. aside from her, though, the twins aren’t really too heartbroken about their original world - at least, compared to the others. taako claims to be fine and is, most days, though sometimes he’s not. lup is furious at the hunger most days and quiet and withdrawn on bad ones. once the team bonds a bit more, everyone learns how to help lup when she misses her aunt. 

lucretia was raised by her mother. her father, through some circumstances, was out of the picture. it taught lucretia self-reliance from an early age. even though at that point she lacked the confidence to take the lead, she never forgot those first few years with just herself and her mother. she was very quiet, the first few cycles, and like davenport it was a turning point in the relationship between her and the rest of the team when she finally opened up about her parents. eventually, taako and lup learn some of her mother’s best recipes to cook for her when she feels sad. (lucretia is practically buried in her mother’s blueberry pie after the cycle of the judges.)

magnus’s parents were…there. but his real support network was his friends. he was always cheery and outgoing, maybe too much so, but he made solid friends early on in childhood and that was a habit that stuck with him through his entire life. he was devastated when the hunger attacked - it wasn’t just family he lost. it was everyone he’d ever known. he takes it incredibly hard. he and barry bond quickly over how much they’ve lost, and he empathizes with lucretia a lot when she opens up about her mother. in the case of the hunger and what they’ve lost, magnus is very much a bond that ties together the entire team. 

anonymous asked:

The reason Scully left Mulder is because he spent all of his time lurking 4chan. This is canon.

I’m never writing smut again.

Things I've heard my (cis/het) brother say while he's been in college for the last year:

-(Heard over the phone) “I don’t care WHAT is in your pants or what you identify as, GET THE FUCKING PISS OFF THE TOILET SEAT
- “I don’t get why some men like to call themselves straight and then say they’d never date a Trans woman because honestly if you’re willing to exclude an entire subsection of women based on something so stupid you’re probably not worth their time anyways”
-“I don’t know why some guys worry about gay men in the locker rooms because if I was a gay guy, even I wouldn’t date me. I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days.“
-(Over spring break) “How the fuck do you make Kraft mac&cheese”
-“What do you mean it’s written on the box– WAIT SHIT IT IS”
-“I hit on a lesbian two weeks ago in the SU without knowing it and I still feel bad about it”
-“I honestly think I’d prefer living with a (Trans) person at this point because if they’re even as half as cool as you then it’s got to be better than living with two 19 year old boys who have fucking competitions of who can piss farther on the ceiling
-“For some reason even in college guys don’t seem to get that the only reason I get so many girls’ numbers is because I treat them like I would treat anyone else”
-“No seriously they think you have to act uninterested or like a dick for some reason”
-“No I don’t know why they think hitting on a lesbian is anything but a lot of secondhand embarrassment for the rest of us”
-“My roommate came into the room looking really dejected and when I asked why he said that he spent hours talking to this girl just to find out that she had a boyfriend the whole time and didn’t say anything” (And after me asking why it mattered) “I dunno, apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of friends”
-(After me saying I don’t get heterosexuals sometimes) “Even I don’t understand straight guys little dude, and I am one”

more silly ladynoir things

continuation of this 


  • chat noir, after being possessed by an akuma: oh my god please tell me that we didn’t make out and i forgot about it again!!
    • ladybug: no
    • chat noir: oh thank god
    • chat noir:
    • chat noir: …just checking that’s still off the table right?
  • when they were really bored, ladybug tried to see if she could use her yoyo to hypnotize chat noir. she was honestly convinced she was uncovering his repressed memories of being an orphan from italy until he admitted that he was just messing with her. 
  • sometimes when chat noir is getting into a really good spar with an akuma he’ll shout for ladybug to take two minutes to video tape it really quick with her compact
    • ladybug: why?????
    • chat noir: because i wanna see how cool i look later quick before he breaks out of my headlock!
  • they once spent an embarrassingly long time running across the city trying to catch an akuma in a glass mason jar before it akumatized anyone. ladybug just wanted to see if they could do it, but chat was convinced that he could reason with it and convince it to join their team as a sidekick. 
  • chat noir really loves making fun of ladybug’s height. like really loves it. like to the point where whenever ladybug is scouting the city and says she can’t see the akuma, chat noir lifts her up by her armpits, holds her over his head, and says, “can you see it now?”
  • they have an unironic list of ways to take down hawkmoth if they eventually meet him in person 
    • chat noir: okay so if we use my staff and your yoyo string…we could totally make a butterfly net
    • ladybug: …holy shit you’re right
    • chat noir: like we could trap him in an actual net my lady 
    • ladybug: alright i’m adding it underneath “100 cans of bug spray”
  • honestly civilians see them sitting around the city in these intense conversations and sometimes people ask them if they’re planning hawkmoth’s capture or they’re discussing a patrol but ladybug just snorts and is like “oh no i’m doing his natal chart can you believe his moon sign is cancer?”
  • ladybug: for the love of god chat do you think before you do things?
    • chat noir: of course i do, i think “oh shit i hope this works”
So I finally went through omgeverythingplease and here are things that I didn’t know
  • Bitty is OBSESSED with food. OBSESSED.
  • Boy has a *problem*
  • Like I know we like to headcanon that Bitty goes into some sort of media, but he’s more likely to become a food critic. Basically he’s more into the “baking” part of “baking vlog” than the “vlog” part.
  • Holster is a grumpy messy bitch.
  • For real, the team seriously debated who was grumpier: Jack or Holster
  • (for like, a hot second, before the answer became obvious)
  • (It’s Jack. Jack is the grumpiest)
  • Ransom and Bitty are very close friends. Close enough that Bitty chirps Holster that he’s being replaced via tweet.
  • Ransom and Bitty get PSLs from “ ‘Bucks”.
  • That is a quote. Eric Richard Bittle has called Starbucks, ‘Bucks.
  • (I bet he calls Target, Tar-zhay too)
  • This one was a bit more analytical: we found out about Jack coaching peewee via Bitty’s twitter
  • Bitty is the one who tells us that the Jack says the kids call him “Coach Z”
  • Because Bitty is the one who typed out the tweet, if the kids called Jack “Coach Zed”, he would have spelled out “Zed.”
  • Therefore we can assume that the kids called Jack “Coach Zee” and not “Coach Zed”
  • However this revelation by Jack was immediately followed by a debate over Zee vs. Zed. So who really knows?
  • I still don’t know how either of them pronounces “pecan”
  • More after the cut because this is getting long

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3

Fred, Hound/Shepherd mix (7 y/o), Washington Square Park, New York, NY • “I found him in Sangin, Afghanistan, which was a really tough spot held by the Taliban. We were surrounded by 200 fighters – we spent six days fighting for our lives. During this time we happened to find this compound that Fred lived in. Throughout the battles we’d catch little glimpses of him. We weren’t technically allowed to approach stray dogs, but I bent the rules. I offered him a piece of beef jerky and saw that he was neglected, dirty, and covered in bugs. As I approached him, he started wagging his tail. That was really the defining moment for me, because I thought, ‘Wow, this dog has no reason to be wagging his tail.’ After that it was just a process of lying, cheating, and stealing to get him home to the States. When we were trying to get him on the helicopter it was a brown out, and I was just trying to keep my eyes on the person in front of me. One of our guys came up and grabbed Fred like a jug of milk and stuffed him in a duffle bag. We tried to make him look like luggage. Fred was terrified but he got right on that helicopter. It was like an extraction. Most dogs in the military are trained to be okay in that situation, but we stumbled upon Fred. He had no reason to trust us, but he did. During those six days, one of our guys got hit in the helmet with a bullet and his only memory is Fred coming over and putting his head on his chest. He impacted us then and continues to impact me every day. I always say, I rescued him once, but he has rescued me countless times. He’s taught me stubborn positivity. Coming home as a veteran, we naturally gravitate towards the negative and Fred doesn’t let me do that. He doesn’t allow me to spiral downwards. And that’s all dogs too – it’s not just Fred. That’s the influence a dog can have on your life.” @fredtheafghan
»
Check out Craig’s book, “Craig & Fred: A Marine, A Stray Dog, and How They Rescued Each Other”. They’ll also be telling their story at Badass Brooklyn’s annual bash this Wednesday, 11/15 from 7-10pm at 635 Sackett St., Brooklyn. @badassbrooklyn

It JUST NOW clicked for me that in GotG2 we go from this:

Kraglin: No matter how many times Quill betrays you, you protect him! Like none of the rest of us matter!

to …

Kraglin: *apologizes for accidentally starting a mutiny*
Yondu: *gives him another chance pretty much instantly*

I mean, obviously I knew both of those things happened in the movie, and I might be the last person to get from Point A to Point B. But it’d never occurred to me that there’s such strong mirroring between the two scenes - Kraglin’s main source of resentment is that he’s the loyal one, while disloyal Peter screws up and turns away from the Ravagers and is still forgiven; but when Kraglin ends up in Peter’s shoes, as the betrayer, Yondu does treat him just like he treats Peter, and takes him back. By the end of the movie, Kraglin knows Peter better than he’s ever known him. He’s been him.

… In general, Yondu’s inability to hold a grudge against people he cares about is breaking my heart completely at odds, in a very Yondu kind of way, with his hardened space pirate persona. It’s not just Peter and Kraglin, but also Stakar – he’s furious at Stakar, but what he wants isn’t revenge or compensation, it’s just to be let back into the Ravager family that cast him out. 

And it’s not little things. It’s Peter costing him the score of a lifetime, inadvertently turning part of his crew against him, and running off across the galaxy with a new family; it’s Kraglin turning the rest of his crew against him and getting most of his loyal crewmates killed; it’s Stakar exiling him from the only home and family he’s ever known. 

He’s just so damn … complicated. He’s a thief and a liar and a killer. He’s also a guy who loves with all his heart (no matter how hard he tries to stamp out that loyal-to-the-death part of himself because he considers it a weakness) and … gah … I just have a lot of feelings about Yondu.

@sevi007 pointed out awhile back that the two people in Yondu’s crew who he apparently spent the most time around, and therefore had the most influence on (Peter and Kraglin) are also the two kindest, most open and empathic and generally sweetest people in the whole gang. They both ended up resenting him too, because, well, Yondu and his A+ people skills, but it’s just a fascinating thing that people who’ve been on the receiving end of Yondu’s mentoring seem to turn out reasonably decent; there’s something fundamentally decent in Yondu that he doesn’t manage to hide as much as he tries to.

The Data Theory

This theory was originally developed by derekscorner and revised last night. I delve into the theory a little bit myself and came up with something pretty incredible. Again, most of this theory is in credit to derekscorner. All I’ve done is branch it out a little more. You can read the original post along with what I came up with here.


Kingdom Hearts is never entirely clear on how it’s universe works. The only trustworthy information you can get is spoken by characters in cut scenes, usually rather vague and said with symbolism, or it’s hidden somewhere in the “Reports” you recover throughout all of the games.

Because of this, the game can constantly flex it’s rules to bring about more scenarios and fix discrepancies it might have had in the past. But assuming, with the release 1.5+2.5 for the PS4, all of those discrepancies were fixed and the game is official, theories about this game will now become all the more relevant. And sensible.

Most things in Kingdom Hearts can be explained away in a rather convoluted essay. However, there are still select few scenarios that fans can’t seem to tackle because it wouldn’t make sense for how the game’s universe operates. One of these leading scenarios is the issue of bringing the lost Nobodies back into existence. I’m talking about Roxas, Naminé, and Xion.

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being best friends with the marauders would include...
  • lets be honest, being best friends with the marauders would be a Wild Ride™️
  • everyday would be some new adventure
  • and you wouldn’t have it any other way
  • getting your own nickname would be your initiation
  • and then you slowly begin to develop special relationships with each one of them
  • they’d get hell jealous if you spent too much time with the other
  • “I think it’s clear that (Y/N) likes me the most…”
  • “Shut up, Padfoot, the only reason why she likes you is because of your firewhiskey stash!” 
  • oh, yeah, speaking of jealousy, you’re apparently not allowed a boyfriend because they are so. damn. protective. 
  • “I don’t like him. He smells funny…” 
  • “He smells fine, Prongs, there is literally nothing wrong with him…”
  • them giving you piggyback rides around the castle and between classes
  • and a crazy amount of hugs
  • especially from Remus - he’s super cuddly and soft
  • helping Peter with his homework
  • and helping James with Lily
  • “just treat her like a normal human being. Girls are surprisingly into that…” 
  • speaking of which, you and Lily are super close
  • like she is basically the James to your Sirius
  • James likes to take advantage of that
  • “Oh yeah, and tell her about the time I single handedly defeated a troll…”
  • they each have their own affectionate little mannerisms 
  • like James likes to bop you on the nose
  • and Sirius likes to play with your hair
  • Remus likes to massage your hand and shoulders
  • and Peter likes to pat your head affectionately
  • you all have inside jokes with each other
  • and they literally have no idea how to whisper 
  • *from the other side of the classroom* “(Y/N)! what’s the answer to question six?” 
  • They love teasing you especially because you’re the shortest out of all of them
  • 3am conversations where you, Remus, James and Sirius are all so overtired, you start talking whack 
  • or 3am deep and meaningful between the four of you
  • and Peter is just snoring in the background
  • somehow they find a way to sneak into the girls dorm
  • they like to surprise you at random moments
  • but you also have like no privacy
  • eating off each others plates (mainly just Sirius eating off your plate)
  • sneaking out with them during a full moon
  • Sirius likes to flirt with you 
  • a lot 
  • And you kinda like flirting with him too
  • exchanging books with Remus
  • and talking Quidditch with James
  • and basically being like a smol, cute family
  • *cries*

remember my love when we’re apart by tiedbows

my ultimate sheith playlist (equal parts tender and emo)

the postal service - such great heights // fall out boy - sugar, we’re going down // the boxer rebellion - if you run // run river north - shiver (cover) // shawn mendes - never be alone // vance joy - fire and the flood // little green cars - the john wayne // ruelle - war of hearts // the cab - intoxicated // dashboard confessional - hands down // no doubt - running // run river north - somewhere // gavin degraw - belief // bon iver - skinny love // howie day - collide // of monsters and men - king and lionheart // snow patrol - set the fire to the third bar // coldplay - in my place // the fray - look after you // relient k - must have done something right // bleachers - i wanna get better // the all-american rejects - there’s a place // daft punk - something about us // angels & airwaves - saturday love // brandon flowers - crossfire // keane - somewhere only we know // rudimental - lay it all on me (feat. ed sheeran) // utada hikaru - hikari // coldplay - violet hill // run river north - seven

Can’t Afford the Vet?

You have probably heard the phrase “if you can’t afford the vet, you can’t afford the pet” and it is true to a degree. Pet ownership doesn’t stop after the purchase of the animal and it is my personal opinion that getting a pet when you know you cannot afford vet care is selfish.

There are of course many people who fully intend on taking their pet to the vet but life happens: they lose their job, family members get sick, the pet gets hit by a car, etc. What do these people do? The absolute best thing to do is be prepared as much as possible. Get pet insurance! For something like $25 a month you can get your pet insured and it will cover most illnesses and accidents. Get a savings account. Put money away every month, as much as you can afford and use it only for vet visits. If your dog gets hit by a car or needs emergency surgery it can easily cost $5,000.00 so try to have that much in savings ready to go.

Go see the vet at least yearly. I cannot stress enough how much preventative care does exactly that: prevents illnesses. I have caught heart disease, cancer, retinal disease and more just doing annual exams. The owners had no idea their pet was ill. By taking care of these things before they got worse these owners saved thousands of dollars. Vaccines are important too, especially for puppies and kittens. A parvo vaccine may be $20, treating parvo can cost into the thousands.

Understand that you don’t have to do everything your vet recommends, but also understand the repercussions of declining. For me personally, I cannot sleep at night knowing I didn’t offer every single pet owner the very best care. Who am I to judge what people can afford? On a more selfish level, if I didn’t offer the best care and a pet died or became ill and the owner filed a board complaint, I could be fined or even lose my license.  This is true for all vets. So please understand we must offer the best care and at least give you the chance to understand what you are declining. If you do decline testing or medication, understand that this limits what we can do for you. I had an owner decline testing a lump on his cat but he became very angry when I couldn’t tell him what the lump was. We offer tests for a reason. Also understand that sometimes if you decline care your only option is euthanasia. People do not like it when vets suggest euthanasia but sometimes this truly is the only other option. It isn’t right to send an animal home to die a slow and painful death simply because the owner cannot afford treatment but refuses to do the right thing and euthanize.

Also understand that wasting time on Google and pet care forums wastes precious time and money. I can cite numerous cases where an owner spent months or more researching and trying things on their own and it was something a vet could have fixed in a single visit. By the time the pet comes to us it is too late. By all means get care advice from other trustworthy sources but if an animal is ill, the internet is not your friend.

I know that there are those out there that will say they cannot put anything in savings, they cannot afford pet insurance, and they cannot even afford basic vaccines. To you I say, don’t get a pet. It just isn’t right to take a living thing into your home knowing you cannot provide it the care it needs. If you want that connection with an animal go volunteer at a shelter and walk dogs, babysit friends pets, there are lots of other ways to have animals in your life without owning one.

Did Narti even exist?

Here’s a crack theory for you. What if we’ve been looking at Narti and Kova’s relationship all wrong?

We’ve all been led to believe that Kova is an extension of Narti, the cat being her eyes and ears. But.. what if it’s the other way around? What if instead ‘Narti’ is some kind of vessel for Kova? Here me out for a second.

First of all, I don’t think it’s coincidence that Narti can’t speak. If Kova is the operating mind here, then she can’t speak because he can’t speak. And ‘she’ doesn’t have working eyes or ears because ‘she’ doesn’t need them. Or rather, Kova doesn’t need them. He can see and hear perfectly fine. Therefore they aren’t necessary. 'Narti’ is simply an acting body for Kova to operate behind, a way to blend in and engage in combat.

But who would create something like 'Narti’ for a cat, and why would it be necessary?

Well. I think Prince Lotor can give us the answers to both of those.

We already know that Kova has been around for a while. He was there before Zarkon and Honerva were even married.

And he stuck around because of his exposure to the Quintessence. It caused him to stop aging. So it’s safe to say that Lotor probably grew up around this cat, or at least spent a lot of time with it.

But that’s probably not the reason he decided to keep Kova around. Let me remind that Kova is Honerva’s cat. And we know that Lotor was fond of his mother because of the way he talked about her when he and the generals were at the rift on Daibazaal.

He kept Kova because Kova is the last physical piece of his mother he has left.

But how would it look for the Prince of the Galra to need to carry a cat around? Probably pretty weak in their eyes. Here’s where 'Narti’ comes in.

'Narti’ is his excuse for keeping Kova around.

And Lotor absolutely has the means for creating something like 'Narti’ because he most likely has (at least some) of the magical Altean abilities that Allura and Haggar have. This would also explan Narti/Kova’s unique abilities to mind control and such, Lotor could have done anything.

So Lotor created 'Narti’ to give Kova a reason to stay at his side, and at the same time give the Prince another general in the field. And Kova is probably 100% capable of all this, again, because of his exposure to Quintessence. (We saw what it did to Haggar and Zarkon, there’s no telling what all it did to the cat.)

And Lotor didn’t tell any of the other generals about this because he didn’t want them to look down on him.

So when 'Narti’ got corrupted, Lotor didn’t really 'kill her’ because she never existed in the first place. It was just the cat’s vessel. (Dreamworks also made it very clear to us here that the cat is still alive..)

And he didn’t take the cat with him/didn’t give the generals a reason for killing their 'teammate’ because again, he didn’t want to look weak.

I’d also like to point out the look on Lotor’s face after everything has happened. He might just be tired but.. He looks upset to me.

Yes, his Father wants him dead, and his remaining generals turned on him. But.. Maybe he lost more than we realized. Kova probably meant a lot to him.

This theory could be far from true. But dreamworks did say that Narti has a 'mysterious past’, which has yet to be revealed. So we know we’re not quite done with this character, otherwise they wouldn’t have pointed that out to us. (Let me also point out the fact that this is Narti’s data table yet.. Kova is there.)

At this point, anything is possible.

Bonus:

This is slightly off topic, but Kova having been left behind while Zarkons forces take over the base gives him a chance to find his way back to Haggar, and maybe trigger some more of her memories. Like the fact that Lotor is her son.

anonymous asked:

Are you taking prompts? If not, no worries! You're amazing and I love you! If so, how would Andrew respond if, in the future and he and Neil are on the same team, if, maybe after a game they won, a huge upset kind of win, the fans riot on their way to the bus in an echo of when Neil went missing back in college?

ily too and i’m totally not taking prompts but also i love this idea, so

Andrew has plenty of reasons to hate the entire state of California, and none of them have anything to do with LA’s Exy team.

The same can’t be said for the rest of the team, who to a man despise the Tricksters. That’s partly because they play dirty, but also because it’s very hard to beat them even when the Rebels sink to the same level.

Hard, yes. But not impossible. Their latest gam ends in a shootout with Andrew in goal, and maybe he wouldn’t usually care but he’s spent too much time watching Trickster backliners crushing the Rebel offensive line into the walls tonight. Mostly he wants to keep this short, but also he wants the Tricksters to lose.

Neil, who still has blood on his face and is beginning to favour one ankle, looks to Andrew and grins before he slams their first shot home right over the Trickster goalkeeper’s left shoulder.

Andrew might be walking on the fine edge of anger, but the rest of his team has already stepped off of it.

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My grandma lived under the house

by reddit user chewingskin

Before you read these moments from my life, I’d like to apologize for the language, but I’m trying to recall it from the exact detail.

During the months of June, July, and August, I spent many hot summers of my childhood at my Grandmother’s house further west on the island of Cape Breton. The forest was plentiful, the plains were a vibrant green, and my Grandmother’s house was a rickety old two-story that was built sometime in the 50’s and looked like it didn’t belong.

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Free Roaming Was A Mistake: Two Years Later

This morning, I watched Kaiju emerge from her burrow, yawn, and walk around her cage. She soaked in her swimming pool for a while, got out, drank some water, played with her feeder puzzle and got some breakfast, basked, dug a hole, moved to the other side of her cage, dug another hole, and then flopped on her log to bask again. Watching her dig made me think a bit, and then I looked back at my lizard records and realized that hey, it’s two years to the day since I put her in the cage, and that made me think a little bit more. 

Namely, it made me think about the year I spent letting her free-roam all the time. It’s something I want to talk about here for a few reasons. One, I think it’s important to talk about why it was a mistake so that nobody else tries it. Two, I think it’s important for me personally because a lot of the Pet Experience™ on the internet is cute pictures and videos and talk about how amazing your animal is. Pet owners like to present themselves as experts in excellence, and I think particularly here, that contributes to a lot of the toxicity and hostility that goes around in the petblr tags. Many private challenges to our way of doing things go ignored or are met with hostility; public challenges tend to devolve into ad hominem arguments and fighting that ultimately doesn’t change the animal’s care. But everybody makes mistakes. Nobody’s perfect, and even husbandry decisions that are made with careful planning and forethought can be a huge mistake. Sometimes you back the wrong horse. 

When I was looking into tegus for the first time, a commonly recurring theme was free-roaming. While most of the community supports caging, there is a small, vocally adamant subsection that says that free-roaming works for them. They talk about how they do it, how they set up hot spots and humid zones, and how their animal is part of the family. That loud minority really seemed inspirational to me- like they were so dedicated to their animal’s experience and mental well-being that they converted their own home. I thought I could do that, too, and maybe it could have worked out long-term, but you know what? I don’t care. There’s a lot of what ifs left, alternate universes I don’t have much of an interest in exploring. It’s an irresponsible, foolish gamble. There’s no what ifs about her health- I know that she’s got the humidity and heat she needs for her organs to function properly. There’s no point in looking back or trying to figure out a work-around to facilitate full-time free roaming. 

Here’s what I know: While the year she spent free-roaming caused no problems based on bloodwork and imaging analysis, there’s no telling what could have happened in the long run. Tegus are tanks and it can take a long time before improper care takes its toll on them. This is the post I saw that made me change my mind; the tegu here had been free-roaming for six years before his health rapidly declined. That’s what made me decide that even if I did everything “right” to keep letting Kaiju free-roam, it just wasn’t worth it. Sometimes, even if you think you’re doing the right thing, it’s valuable to take a step back and say “ok, but is this really the right thing?” It’s said a lot by petblr bloggers that your ego shouldn’t ever come before your pets’ health, but sometimes these decisions aren’t based on ego- sometimes they’re based on just plain being wrong. And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that! It’s ok to be wrong. Nobody’s right all the time. But have the courage to reevaluate your husbandry practices and the honesty to fully consider the risks- and if you realize you need to make a change, then make it. Your animal’s worth it.

Birds Make the Best Wingmen

When Stiles invites Derek over for dinner on their second date, it seems that Stiles’ pet parrot is determined to ruin his life. Then again, maybe birds actually make the best wingmen… 

aka: 3-in-the-morning-me read an unrelated text post on parrots and happened to be making sterek icons, and went hey, sterek plus parrots!

“Dude,” Scott sighs. “If it makes you this nervous, just don’t do it.”

“Excuse you?” Stiles scoffs. “Don’t go on my date with Derek? Is that what you just said? You’re not going to make me give you the speech on his eyes again, are you? Because I have it memorized, man, and-”

“No, no, no!” Scott says, waving his PS4 controller wildly. When his Titan gets shot, he mutters, “Worth it. I just meant that if you don’t want to have him over here, then don’t. Go out somewhere instead.”

“I can’t,” Stiles groans. “You know I can’t. He cooked me dinner for our first date, so I have to cook him dinner for our second.”

It’s only fair, really. The only problem is his and Scott’s apartment is a mess, his cooking skills are mostly limited to super healthy and not-date-worthy stuff for his dad, and—though Stiles doesn’t view it as much of a problem, considering the number of nights Allison has spent here—Scott’s being sexiled for the night. Technically Stiles told him he could stay in his room, if he wanted, considering the worst thing they’ll probably do tonight is kiss, but thankfully Scott was much more into the idea of making out with Allison than listening to Stiles potentially make out with Derek. 

“Look, it’s pretty clean in here for two college guys,” Scott reasons, for the tenth time today. Stiles is pretty sure it’s just because he doesn’t want to stop playing Destiny in favor of vacuuming. “I seriously doubt he’ll care if you order takeout, anyway. You just gotta chill. Right, Iago?”

“Right, Scott!” Iago squawks. “Right, Scott! Right, Scott!”

Scott had taught Stiles’ parrot to respond ‘right, Scott’ anytime he hears ‘right, Iago?’ two years ago, and still takes far too much pleasure in having a bird agree with him.

Stiles feels very little sympathy when Scott gets gunned down again as he beams over at the cage.

“Scott’s an overly-optimistic knucklehead who doesn’t understand the woes of us normal people who aren’t dating our first love five years later, right, Iago?” Stiles asks.

“Right, Scott!”

Close enough.


“Nice place,” Derek says, hanging his jacket on one of the hooks by the door. “And dinner smells great.”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Stiles says, despite having slaved over the stove for three hours. “Lasagna. Here, c’mon, let’s sit down.”

Derek follows him to the living room, but when he sits down on the couch, Derek doesn’t join him. Instead, he walks over to Iago’s cage, peering in.

“You have a parrot?”

“Oh, yeah,” Stiles says, adjusting himself so he’s facing them. “His name’s Iago.”

“Does he talk?”

“Yeah, actually. It’s kinda awesome. He only understands about as much as a dog, probably, but if you say something enough times he’ll start to repeat it, and he understands a few basic things. Like, um- Iago, hello!”

“Hello!” Iago squawks.

Derek smiles–the amazing, warm one that makes his eyes crinkle—and Stiles never wants it to go away. And if that means playing with his bird instead of making small talk? Well, he’s not going to complain.

“Iago, this is Derek,” Stiles says, even though he won’t really get that one.

Unfortunately, he does seem to remember the word ‘Derek’.

“Derek is the best!”  

Stiles’ eyes practically bug out of his head, because that’s actually something he says all the time, and the last thing he needs is for Iago to start parroting everything he’s ever heard about Derek, because… no.

Derek glances over at Stiles, eyebrow raised.

“Just a trick we taught him,” Stiles explains, with a nervous laugh.  “If you say ‘this is someone’, he’ll say they’re the best.”

He stands and rushes over, grabbing the towel they use to cover Iago’s cage before Derek can get a chance to test that lie.

“Say bye, Iago,” Stiles says, draping the cloth over his cage.

“Bye! Bye!”

Crisis averted.

Phew.

“He’s cute,” Derek says, as Stiles ushers him over to the couch. “He’s named after the bird in Aladdin, right?”

“Yeah, he’s great,” Stiles agrees. “And yep. How’d you know?”

Derek’s awesome, but something about his leather jacket and black Camaro doesn’t give off much of an I-watch-Disney-movies-in-my-spare-time vibe.

“I’ve got a lot of nieces and nephews,” Derek says. He smiles again at the thought, which is far too adorable. “I’ve seen every kids’ movie more times than I can count. Or would even want to count.”

“Aw, that’s cool. I’m an only child, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Scott and his girlfriend start planning-”

The ding of the oven cuts him off.

“Um, gimme one sec,” he says, patting Derek’s knee–don’t ask why, dear God, he has no idea why—and getting up to check on dinner. “Be right back.”

Stiles takes the pan out of the oven, setting it down on the countertop.

“Derek?” he calls.  

“It’s ready?” Derek calls back, at the same time Iago repeats, “Derek!”

“Iago, stop it!” Stiles orders, poking his head into the living room.

“Stop it!” he echoes. It’s another of his favorite things to say, unfortunately. “Derek! Stop it! Derek!”

“Sorry, Derek,” Stiles sighs. “He’s a jerk sometimes.”

“It’s fine,” Derek says, standing from the couch. “Not a problem.”

Before he reaches the kitchen, though, Iago interrupts again.

“Derek! Derek! Derek is so hot!”

Derek freezes. Stiles freezes. Iago, unfortunately, does not freeze.

“Derek is so hot!” he repeats, from underneath his towel. “Derek is so hot! Derek is so hot!”

Stiles’ cheeks are probably as red as Iago’s feathers.                  

“That another trick?” Derek asks, raising an eyebrow as the bird continues his ode to Derek’s hotness in the background.

“I- uh…”

“Or just one of the things he picked up by repetition?”

“Ummm…”

Stiles is going to die. He is actually, literally going to fall on the floor and have his heart stop beating from sheer embarrassment.

Or he would do that, except then Derek winks.

He fucking winks, then smirks, then walks back over to the birdcage, pulling the cover off.

“Derek is so hot!” Iago repeats vehemently upon its removal. “Derek is the best! Derek is so hot!”

“Stiles is so hot,” Derek tells him seriously.

Stiles gapes at him, but Derek doesn’t even look over.

Stiles is so hot,” he says again. “Stiles.”

“Stiles is so hot!” Iago agrees. “Derek is so hot! Stiles is so hot!”

“Smart bird,” Derek says, finally glancing over at Stiles.

He’s smiling again, and Stiles decides he very well may die, but perhaps not for the reason he thought.


When Scott gets home the next day and asks how the date with Derek went, only for Iago to squawk ‘Derek is so hot! Stiles is so hot!’, he flops down on the couch, muttering, “I take it back. I don’t even want to guess what that’s about.”

100 Magic Items for 5e Pt. 8

Past Posts

Items 1 - 5

Items 6 - 10

Items 11 - 15

Items 16 - 20

Items 21 - 25

Items 26 - 30

Items 31 - 35

36.      Rapier of Swift Attacking

Weapon (Rapier), Rare, Requires Attunement

An eloquent rapier, with a loops guard made of several strand of steel, intertwining and curving over the wielders hands. Every time the wielder of this takes the attack action, they can take an additional attack in exchange for reducing all attack rolls made by 1.

37.      Meat Cleaver

Weapon (Greataxe), Rare, Requires Attunement

This top-heavy weapon is in the shape of a giant meat cleaver. With a large flat head sharpened on one edge. A critical hit with this weapon can be achieved by rolling a 19 or a 20 (this effect stacks with other effects that lower critical hit requirements). Additionally increase the damage die of each critical hit by 1 die.

38.      Soul pincher

Wondrous Item (Ring), Uncommon, Requires Attunement

A ring made of ivory, stained yellow after years and years of exposure. The face of the ring is wrought in the shape of a skull, with 3 spikes of amethyst shaped in a triangle around the skull. When the creature wearing this ring makes an unarmed melee attack with the fist the ring is on, it applies 1 stack of “Soul Pincher”. When a creature dies with 3 stacks of “Soul Pincher” it becomes reanimated a skeleton in your control. You may have a maximum of 3 skeletons under your control. One spike of amethyst fills up with necrotic energy for each skeleton under your control.

39.      Mark of The Bold Heart

Wondrous Item (Tattoo), Rare, Requires Attunement by a Monk of level 5 or higher.

Magic ink is set into the skin of the character receiving this boon. The image crafted Is a scholar, blocking a warriors blade with his book. If the Monk attuned to this tattoo uses their Flurry of Blows to attack a fourth or higher time hits on at least 4 attacks out of the action – the Ki point spent on Flurry of Blows is regained.

Note: The main reason I made this a tattoo is because I feel like that could work into the concept of a Monk well. It could just as easily be a ring, or a necklace or even a blessing from a god if the idea of magical tattoos don’t fit your world or tickle your fancy. (You can read a blog I wrote about blessings as a replacement for magical items here)

If you’re unfamiliar with the idea of tattoo’s as a replacement for magical weapon you can read up a bit more on it here.

40.      Pazuzu’s Kiss

Wondrous Item (Ring), Legendary, Requires Attunement by a spellcaster

This ring is crafted of simple metals, it has claws to hold a center stone, but the gem is missing. The magical aura around this ring is faintly disturbing to those who are lawful – as it emits faints negative energy. This ring can be used to control a demon or devil when activated by a ritual known to anyone who casts the “Identify” or similar spell.

Attunement Ritual – To activate the abilities of this ring the creature must complete a blood sacrifice. The creature must offer 7 pints of blood from a living human, while chanting the ancient incantations given to them telepathically by the ring, during the ritual. The ritual takes an hour and requires the summoner to yell at the top of their lungs.

Once the ring is activated, the attuned creature can summon a Demon or Devil from the Monster Manual or similar book. They must sacrifice an amount of spell slots that level is equal to 1.5x the monsters CR. While a monster is under the rings control, the center piece fills with a crimson red ethereal gem. The fiend is telepathically bonded to its owner, and will obey – albeit begrudgingly, taking its own turn in initiative. When the fiend dies, the player receives their spell slots back, and the ritual can be completed again.

Want to rig a card game so you'll win, then insist we play it every time? We'll see about that...

LTL, FTP, etc. I apologize already if I don’t get the formatting right.

This happened several years ago.

I spent most of my time with a relatively small, fairly close-knit group of friends (about 10-12 people). We hung out together probably once a week or so at someone’s house, but not everyone showed up every time, so it was usually 6-8 people each time.

I enjoyed the company of most of these people very much, but I couldn’t stand one guy for many reasons (keep reading - you’ll understand some of them).

Let’s call him David (obviously not his real name).

I’d say most of the people I spent time with were of about average intelligence, maybe even a bit above that (stick with me, this is mildly important for the story).

David, however, had an amazing brain. Picture a mind like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang theory, but without the scientific - or really any major - success (mostly because David smoked way too much pot, but that’s not the point here).

For context, I’m also above average in intelligence, but not on David’s level (I’ll give him that).

Our group of friends would often play board games or card games together into the late hours of the night. I began to notice a  pattern emerge whenever David was with us - he would always insist upon playing a specific card game, so we would indulge him (we played other games if someone asked,too).

I’m not sure how many people are familiar with this game, but David called it “Slap Jack”. Basically, for those who don’t know, people sit in a circle with stacks of cards in their hands and toss a card in the middle, and then the next person does the same.  Anytime two cards match (like two 3s in a row) OR if a jack comes up, the first person to slap a hand down on the pile gets to keep it. If you slap your hand down when you shouldn’t (it’s not a match to the prior card or a jack), you have to give up all but three of the cards still in your hand. You continue the game as long as you want or until one person has all the cards and they win.

Sounds simple, right?

The big thing was that David went out of his way to create rules to “make sure no one has an unfair advantage” (he would repeat this phrase many times every time we played). His rules were things like you have to put your card down a certain way, you can’t sit a certain way, etc.

OK, whatever. No one objects and everyone wants a fair game.

As we play this game a few times, I begin to notice that David is regularly winning the game - far too regularly for it to be random. No one else is picking up on it and then the game is over and David has won again.

So the next time David insists we play and once again reiterates the rules to “make sure no one has an unfair advantage”, I start watching him more intently but without making it obvious.

I want to find out how he’s winning so much, and soon the answer reveals itself. David’s hand goes out to slap down when a jack hits the board BEFORE he could possibly have seen that the card was even a jack. Still, it was a jack, so he gets to collect the entire pile beneath it. It happens again - and again. He knows what is coming before it arrives.

David loved playing this game because he was memorizing the order of the cards, giving himself an advantage over everyone else.

Normally I wouldn’t care. The guy was going the extra mile to win, so be it. I admire that kind of effort in many cases.

BUT…This was different, because DAVID was the one who designed many rules of this game “to make sure no one has an unfair advantage” Yet that’s exactly what he had, and why he was winning so much.

THE PETTY REVENGE:

Instead of calling him out, I decided to use my newfound knowledge against him.

As we continued to play, I slapped down on a match and won a big stack of cards (David didn’t get them all, just more than everyone else due to his memorization). As the game continued, I used subtle motions to shuffle the cards in my hands as much as I could.

It took a bit, but you can guess what happened next. David slapped down WAY too quickly on what he thought would be a jack coming from my hands - but it wasn’t a jack. I loudly point out his slapping down when he shouldn’t and how he has to give up all but three of his cards.

Still, David made this revenge even better.

“That was supposed to be a jack!” he shouted in anger.

“And you’re supposed to slap when you see it IS a jack!” I said loudly, to laughter from everyone.

I saw realization come over David’s face, and his fire-spitting rage turned to me.

“You’re NOT supposed to shuffle your cards!” he roared.

“Why would that matter?” I asked, smiling back at him. “Matter of fact, I think we should ALL shuffle our cards every time we collect them.”

Then I lay it on him.

“You know, in the interest of making sure no one has an unfair advantage.”

As David’s eyes shot daggers at me when he realized exactly what I’d done, everyone in the group quickly agreed with me and he couldn’t possible object because of his own mantra.

The game continued with EVERYONE shuffling their cards, ruining his advantage of memorizing the order. Surprise, surprise - David didn’t win this time.

Funny, when our group got together after that, David never again insisted upon playing his formerly favorite card game.

respect each other

So basically I’ve been sitting back, observing, and experiencing. I really wasn’t about to do this but it’s been on my mind since I came back from my hiatus. I’m not sure what happened to the tumblr community but as someone that’s been here for six years, I just want to point a few things out.

I have never seen it get this bad? Everyone used to be much kinder, and more interactive with one another. As far as the world of fics goes, I have some stuff I need to get off my chest because this is ridiculous.

I have never seen the readers so quiet and the writers so discouraged in all my years here.

Keep reading

Kissing Chats is therapeutic

This is what resulted from a chat I had with @frostedpuffs and well, I’m very proud of it lol. It is kind of short tho.


Marinette was a wrecked ball of stress. It was so bad that people probably could smell stress on her while she passed by, if the dark circles under her eyes weren’t a dead giveaway. She had three tests, two presentations, the deadlines for four essays and a lot of commissions for her online clothes shop. And the cherry on top of her funeral cake was, of course, being Ladybug and saving Paris at any moment when an akuma appeared.

(Which happened a lot lately. Hawkmoth can choke.)

Although, Marinette probably won’t have a funeral cake, because, frankly, she didn’t even have time to die. But the real question here was if Marinette was using that time she had in the evening to do anything related to the before mentioned responsibilities?

Well… no.

Look, her plants had priority okay? Marinette can’t pull through stress crisis without her plants. So that’s how that fine evening found Marinette Dupain-Cheng on her balcony, making sure her hortensias were hydrated enough. She was humming a random tune, as she kept arranging her plants, trying to not think about the load of work she had. With a sigh, she glanced up at the skyline, hoping she to get a glint of inspiration for one that one-night dress that was lying between her commissions. As she looked in the distance, she noticed a dark figure jumping around the rooftops. Seems like Chat Noir was out and about. Marinette wondered if she should get some sweets from down in the bakery. That was how they got close after all. She was minding her own business, working on her sketched, when out of nowhere a cat fell on her because he was trying to steal her cookies. He received some swats over the head, but also some cookies, because Marinette has limits when it comes to how much she could resist begging kitty eyes. And well, what was said about feeding strays was very much true and Marinette was still amused that the biggest stray in Paris came to her out of all people.

“Good evening to you, ma princesse.” Marinette looked surprised as Chat landed on her balcony, making a courtly bow.

“Hey, Chat.” she greeted. “Did you come sniffing after some macarons or what?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I actually dropped by because I wanted to check on you. You seemed stressed.”

Marinette rose an eyebrow. “I seemed stressed from three blocks away?”

Chat rubbed the back of his head in a strangely familiar manner. “Call it a cat’s instinct.”

Marinette rolled her eyes fondly as Chat continued. “Anyway, I noticed you are stressed and luckily I know a wonderful type of therapy for this.”

Marinette glanced at him curiously. “You have my attention.”

Clearing his throat, he continued. “You see, this type of therapy is accessible to anyone, it is free, very good, wonderfully calming, utterly relaxing and prescribed by any doctor who cares about the well-being of their patients. In fact, there had been a scientific research, conducted by the Oxford University that came to the conclusion that this therapy was effective in 99,9% of the cases.”

“And what exactly is this therapy?”

“Kissing cats.”

Marinette sprayed Chat with her watering bottle, making him yowl and jump back a little. “Very funny, Chat.”

His ears dropped. “But I’m entirely serious!”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Of course you are.”

“Come on, princess! It will work wonders for you, you’ll see.”

Marinette sighed, before glancing at him. His ears were dropped and he was giving her those typical kitty eyes and Marinette wanted to hit herself over the head with something for being tempted by the offer. Honestly, if he wanted a kiss he could have just said so. Albeit, it would have been a kiss on the cheek, but still. Glancing aside, she considered her options. Well, she already kissed him once to get him out of mind control. No feelings there. Absolutely not. There couldn’t be anything happening from a peck on the lips for ‘lowering her stress levels’. Putting her spraying bottle aside, she turned to Chat.

“One kiss.” he declared, making him smile brightly.

“One dose of anti-stress coming your way, princess.”

Marinette opened her arms allowing Chat to bring her in a loose embrace. Tilting her head, Marinette closed her eyes as Chat bent his head and captured her lips.

Marinette found herself really enjoying kissing Chat. Maybe it was because there was no akuma involved this time. Maybe it was because his lips tasted like peaches. Or maybe it was just because Chat was a good kisser. Marinette let herself relax against him as they keept kissing. And then a gentle rumble filled Chat’s chest, making her smile against his lips. He was purring. And oddly enough it made her relax even more, her body going almost limp against Chat. It felt just simply wonderful. And when Chat finally pulled away, his purring stopping as well, Marinette let out an annoyed huff.

The little shit was smiling victoriously. “So princess, was I right or what?”

Marinette couldn’t even roll her eyes, because yes, he was right. She just nodded. “Not bad at all either.”

To her surprise and satisfaction, Chat blushed a little. “Well, er… I… only the best for the princess.”

As he gesticulated, Marinette caught a glimpse of green. Grabbing his hand, she brought it closer for inspection. She gasped. These weren’t always here, were they? She would have noticed. She poked them.

”You have beans!” she giggled then poked them again.

”A new design detail to my suit.” he explained, clearly amused by her actions. Taking advantage of the fact that her hands were on his, he grabbed the left one and pressed a kiss against her knuckles. “I’m glad I could help you, princess, but now I have to bid you adieu.”

”Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Marinette said, once she was pull editare out of the cute green beanies trance. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

And with that, Marinette pulled him by the tail, in her room.

Marinette created a very strong opinion about how therapy with cats should become a thing. She spent a couple of hours in Chat’s arms, his purring echoing soundly in the room as she worked. Honestly, she didn’t remember the last time when she had been so calm and relaxed. This was the only reason why she was cuddling Chat. Because it was calming and it was lowering her stress levels. There was no other reason. Honestly.

And with Chat’s purring and cuddles, she managed to finish two essays, four sketches for her commissions and the layout of her presentations. And with a peek on the lips for him, she went to bed (at a reasonable hour, for once), playing with his beans until she fell asleep.

Chats were truly therapeutic.