i spent time and effort making this

i know cybersmith is a degenerate retard and everything but you lads honestly spend an autistically large amount of time and effort on making fun of the guy

like damn find a hobby like sewing or gardening or something this is just as autistic as the people who spent ungodly amounts of time to “le btfo” chris-chan

fun fact: taking pictures showing off the knits a knitter spent hours and hours making you increases your chances of getting more knits from them by 150%

another fun fact: not appreciating or showing off the knits a knitter spent hours and hours making you pretty much guarantees they won’t make you anything again

check out my knitting blog at @knitforbrains

here’s a lil tidbit for u!

when that girl on the radio said annyeonhaseyo, jk was like “oh she seems like she knows korean well” IN KOREAN.

and this girl, without needing translation or anything else IMMEDIATELY responds in pretty well-pronounced korean “oh i can’t speak that well” (informal). so not only does she know how to talk but she knows enough to understand context and reply on the spot.

and it’s a big yikes that anyone would try to make fun of someone who’s obviously spent a lot of time and effort learning the language and was respectful.

lmao also if ur a kboo don’t make fun of other kpop stans bc ur probably worse, friend!!

Hawk does commissions!

I will draw…ANYTHING

okay not anything(negotiations via pm)

Keep in mind these prices are estimated, they may vary on the time spent on the drawing, and the level of details. Please, send a PM to @hawker-rawr-is-watching-you​ if you want to commission me.


  • Sketches: 3$
  • Coloured sketches(flat): 10$

  •  Coloured sketches w/ shading: 12$

  •  Lineart: 12$

  • Chibis (fully coloured only): 20$ 

Now, I want to I make special emphasis on thie next two categories as digital paintings and fully coloured pictures require a lot of dedication and effort. So the prices will vary specifically in these two categories.

  •  Fully coloured: 60$

  • Digital painting: if you want to put me through hell this may cost you over 85.

Extra characters:

  For sketches: 3

 For coloured sketches, chibis and lineart: 15

  For fully coloured pictures and digital paintings: 35


  For sketches, coloured sketches and lineart: 5

 For chibis, fully colored pictures: 20

 For digital paintings: 40

Currency: American dollars.

Payment method: Paypal or Payoneer 


SISTAR Handwritten Letters to Fans

“7 years have already passed by I think I felt especially happy and less stressed because of the members that stood by me, as well as our STAR1.Looking back, I feel saddened and sorry that we didn’t get to spend as much time with our fans. No matter how I present myself on whatever stage, I will never forget my love for our members and fans.I love you …. I’m sorry … and thank you. I’ll be releasing good music Fighting, everyone, until the very end.” — Soyou

“Hello Star1. This is Bora.Every year I say that the fans make me happy and I’ve had so much fun and been so happy for the past 7 years.The time that the SISTAR members have spent with Star1 were very precious and happy times. It seems like I have reached further out than my efforts have shown. I feel more and more sad that I wasn’t able to show an even better side of myself during SISTAR’s promotions.For me, it was difficult to always show a bright image but the fans always gave me even more strength. In the future, I will never forget to this image and continue being strong. I got a lot of memories while writing this. Now, the members will all be going their separate ways, I will be cheering for them.But it’s not like you all won’t ever see me. In the future, I will put in the effort to show a good image of myself as Yoon Bora.To everyone who loved both SISTAR and Bora, to everyone who stuck with us, thank you. It was a happy time. I will be happy in the future too. I love you.”— Bora

“To all the STAR1s who have loved and supported SISTAR, this is SISTAR’s leader Hyorin.It’s already been 7 years since SISTAR debuted and the time I spent as Hyorin of SISTAR with the members and the fans was priceless and like a dream. The members of SISTAR have chosen to continue on a new path to move onto our second stage in life.STAR1, you guys have showed us how happy it can be to get up on stage, sing, and be loved by someone…and we thank you for that. With great sadness, we will continue to support each other and grow and show you a better side of us. The members and STAR1 will forever be in my heart and thank you for giving me more love than I deserve. I thank you with all my heart, and I love you..” — SISTAR’s Leader Hyorin

“For our fans, STAR1!I’m very sorry for greeting you guys after such a long time. I have so much I want to say to you guys that I am having trouble thinking of what to say first.It’s been 7 years since we debuted as SISTAR. I just want to say thank you to everyone who supported us throughout all these years.Thanks to the continued love and support, we were able to continue as SISTAR for such a long time. I really believe it’s because of you guys that everyone in our group along with myself, got here.It is with a heavy heart that I say that we will be disbanding after this album. We wish you guys will support us with our individual activities and we will return the favor as well.I will work harder and stronger from now on to connect with my fans even better.Cheer for us! Thank you.” — Dasom

The AH boys being proud of themselves will never fail to make me into a mess.

Jeremy being proud about Go Nitro? The best. I wish I could give him a hug. I’m so proud of his time and effort he spent on this.

Geoff bringing up how long he has stayed sober? Also the best. Withdrawal and the silent peer pressure of working at a place like AH must be a bitch. I’m proud of him for being healthier. He gets a hug too.

Michael showing off Iris to everyone? The cutest and also the best. He has an adorable and healthy baby girl despite coming a month early, and honestly, what do you expect from someone with a DNA combo of Michael and Lindsay? The whole Jones family deserves hugs.

I can’t think of anything else but please add on with proud moments so we can be proud of the swearing adult men and women we adopted as children at some point.

Some Things Just Need to be Said...

Every morning I wake up and see another creator promoting their Patreon page. It makes me sad to think that Sims at the point where people no longer consider it a community, but a business. I want to thank everyone who time and effort into their creations and shares these for free, just to put a smile on someones face or make their day. The people who don’t need payment for the time they spent, who can just appreciate the thanks of the community without needing more.

Sketchbookpixels and I have always stood for a free and equal community. My thoughts have always been that this place is somewhere where people can come, people whose home-life may not be stellar, people who suffer depression or anxiety, who have little else in life, to find a community of people who accept them as they are and support them for who they are. A place where people are not ignored, where help is freely given and gifts are the norm. But all that is changing, we are turning into an elitist community, where those who can afford some extra cash a month get treated special. The 12 year old girl who has no money, who gets bullied at school for wearing hand-me-downs should not have to come online and realize this community is no different. That just because she doesn’t have spare cash, she cannot access half the things.

Most of us have been there, most of us have had experiences on here with negative stuff. Yet instead of fighting against it they are joining in. Sims was not made for pay sites, it is against TOU and strictly speaking illegal. Maybe EA doesn’t care, but that does not right a wrong.

Over the last few weeks I have been hearing more and more about Patreon, Bully Rings, seeing rude posts about others, people promoting pay, people having their CC stolen or their TOUs ignored. I don’t spend my time helping people over IM with their CC to see them put it on Patreon. I spend my time helping you guys and making CC, cause I still have that dream that people can feel comfortable here and just the same as everyone else.

We are a community and we should remember that, and every single one of you who fights for exactly that, who shares because they want people to smile, who helps because they can, who listens to the smallest simblr, you have my eternal gratitude.



tis-better-to-reign-in-hell  asked:

I know the mainstay of your advice on such matters is basically to stop saying your life sucks and make your life look like what you need it to look like in order to be content with it, but what if a disability means I can never make my life look like what I need it to? What if I've spent years putting every effort into making myself happy with what I've got and fail every time? If I can't be happy in the position I'm in, and there's no way to get out, is suicide a valid option then? (3/4)

[cont’d] I simply cannot grow old counting all the things I cannot have, and I cannot make myself content with the things I do have and I am so tired of grieving what I’ve lost and missed out on. Help. (4/4)

Dear tis-better-to-reign-in-hell,

For starters, suicide is never the better option, full stop. Whatever is on the other side, I would rather have you on this side until you absolutely can’t be. Can we make a deal about that? Your story isn’t done yet.

When I was a kid, I didn’t want to be a writer, or a musician, or an artist. I was interested in all of those things as hobbies, but I had one concrete dream that burned so fast and so hard that it had to be a goal. Yes, it was competitive, and yes, it was difficult, but I liked both of those things about it. 

I wanted to be a fighter pilot.

I’ll let that sit in everyone’s minds for a moment now, and you can feel free to laugh at me if you want, because I don’t mind, I’m ridiculous. (joke: how do you know if there’s a pilot at your party? answer: they’ll tell you)(I should have been a pilot)

So I daydreamed and planned out this life for myself, and then, suddenly, my eye sight started to go. Not a little bit, like, oh dear child we should get you some spectacles. But like, um, let’s warn this child of the warning signs of imminent blindness. I went from whatever eyeballs are supposed to be to legally blind without correction in just a few years. I have a prescription that makes every new eye doctor scoot their chair back from the desk a little. If it gets any worse, they don’t make my sort of contact lenses for it anymore. 

My eyes, they’re not very good at being eyes.

For the longest time, I kept that calendar where I wrote down THE GREAT ANNAPOLIS LET DOWN the day I came back from the eye doctor with a prescription officially too bad to ever fly jets. 

You may have noticed that I am not a fighter pilot.

Yeah, I was crushed. Yeah, it was non negotiable. My body was and is never going to be able to fly jets. But that doesn’t mean I can’t find something that makes me feel the way flying jets was going to make me feel. I don’t mean in a “I’m traveling at 500 mph yay” way. I mean, what was it about flying jets that pleased me? Not on the surface. Deep down. What is flying jets a metaphor for? What does it mean to me?

For me it was about speed, of course, but it was also about usurping my way into a man’s world, and it was about feeling like I had a job that moved as fast as it possibly could, demanding all of my mental resources, and it was also about looking cool in aviator sunglasses.

I found a life that did that that didn’t have anything to do with flying a jet. It took awhile to get there, and I suffered from a significant failure of imagination when I first got dealt that blow of blindness. I don’t know what your disability is, but I believe in your imagination to find you a life that feels the same way as the one you want now. 

And when you figure it out, shoot me a letter and let me know you got there. Remember that we have a deal.



A rocky start

Some Context: one of my fellow players in a game is a rock golemn named Scoria. This exchange happened when the GM asked us on skype if we were available to play over the upcoming weekend:

GM: what’s the weekend plans guys?

Scoria: I am ready to roll.

GM: But are you ready to rock?

Scoria: You’re a real gem, GM

Player: stfu

Scoria: I’m sorry, shale we talk about this later?

Player: How dare you

Scoria: I got a bit boulder

Player: I s2g

Me: I think the puns rock. Perhaps you’re just too impatient to wait for a really nice one to crystallize. In the meantime you’ll just be losing your marbles over some lime jokes

Player: Why do you do this to me?

GM: Because we love you. Granite, we’re not very nice people.

Me: I wanted to throw out more puns in response, but I’ve hit a wall. They’re really too hard. Player is right, we should all some back down to Earth and start over, you know, with a clean slate. No more forced rock puns to stalagnate our conversations

Player: F***ING

Me: Uh oh, I’ve sent your and my relationship down a rocky road. Maybe if I’m gneiss you’ll be willing to drop all this grit and work with my based on sediment alone.

Player: z;ldkfjgn;zkjb

Me: I suppose I have norite to ask for forgiveness. Of quartz, I’ve earned your skarn. If you can’t forgive me I’ll just have to boulder on without you.

Player: why do you hate me?

Me: I don’t, I just love puns. But I’m done. I spent a solid 10 minutes reading up on names of rocks. It’s too much effort and I’m not even the rock golemn who should be making these puns.

Player: I’ll just silt over here and be quiet then

Scoria: I was driving!

Me: I’ve put more effort into thinking of rock puns in the last hour then I think you’ve done in entirety of the time you’ve played as Scoria. Not that I’m really keeping Scor(ia).


  So earlier today I mentioned posting some “remastered” versions of my old works, and here they are!

  In the past, I’d always been reluctant to add watermarks to my work, because I felt they’d detract from the pictures themselves; however over the course of the past week alone I’ve been met with too many instances to count of people reposting my work without my permission, both credited and not.

  This is genuinely one of the biggest dickmoves you can make to an artist, as it’s a case of taking their hard work, stuff that they are genuinely proud of and that they spent time and effort making, and throwing it out in a frequently random and completely out of context manner without even having the courtesy to ask first, and -in some instances - expecting them to appreciate it.

  While I’m aware that this is a sadly incredibly common occurrence, I maintain that it really doesn’t need to be.

  Regretfully however, I am likely going to have to start watermarking my work like this. I was thinking something along the lines of;

Don’t be a Dick,
Don’t Repost.

anonymous asked:

one question, is he quirkless now?

God Anon, you don’t know how much I hope that he will still have his quirk. Whether it’s because the Eight Precepts are “self-educated and have these crappy facilities” when they made the finalized drug or because of some other loophole, I’m hoping. We’ve seen how much time and effort he’s put into making that quirk his own, an extension of himself instead of a detriment, and the idea that he could lose all of that is devastating.

I think the important thing is that, even then, he won’t give up. Sure it’d suck if all those years he spent trying to master his quirk ended in him having his quirk destroyed, but…. he wouldn’t give up. He values the idea of saving people too much, and even if he no longer has a quirk to help him he’s still himself. I think that him being quirkless but still doing his best to save people would present a fantastic narrative, as well as a foil to Izuku

A huge theme of bnha (that has been especially explored lately) is the whole question of hero ideology, and the basis of heroes. We’ve seen this from characters like All Might, Endeavor, Stain, All for One, Nana - the general popularized idea of a “Pro Hero” is being contested against what it truly means to save a person. What is good, what is bad, what’s important. Quirks are huge, but so are ideals.

Ultimately I don’t really know if this will go in the direction of Mirio permanently losing his quirk or somehow managing to escape that fate, but no matter what happens:


Taehyung × Vedi Slimane Diary
— B&W Colouring + Mockup

I was inspired by Grace, @dearmyjimin​ to create this mockup. It was definitely my first time attempting something new like this! Oh, in case you don’t know, she always makes magnificent graphics and mockups, so please do check her out and give her some love. Thank you!

P/S: One set takes up a hell lot of time and effort.

(© Taehyung’s Tweets 1 & 2 + Trans)


-All writings are my own, and I ask of you guys to not repost any of my work. This will be a strict rule of mine, even if offered credit, so please respect this. I’ve spent lots of time and effort into each of these posts, and I would prefer for them to stay within my blog for you guys to enjoy. Thank you for understanding! :))

*imagines are organized from oldest to newest*

* = 300+ notes


-don’t be a fool
-part two
-part three (finale) 
Shawn’s newest tour schedule forces him to make a decision, resulting in a broken relationship between him and Y/N. 

-i spy a cheater
When Y/N finds out that Shawn has been cheating behind her back instead of writing his album like he said he was, Y/N is faced with the decision of leaving or staying with Shawn.

-hurtful words*
-part two*
-part three*
-part four* (finale)
In which Shawn’s wounding words that hurt Y/N on what was supposed to be a perfect night for the two ended up damaging more than just Y/N’s feelings.

Keep reading

The Horror Genre, Goth Subculture, and Friday the 13th

So, there’s already a post about superstitions and bad luck, but what about the people who take negative superstitions and it make their aesthetic?

Like, Planetary Cruiser XJ9-7 - known as “Adventure” - gets a new human crew member, a scientist of the highest order, a particle physicist calculating their engine thrust. Her name is Amber and she is the living embodiment of lace goth, wears a frilly black dresses with skull accessories, carries around a voodoo doll seemingly for the fun of it. She walks into the ship and starts the allowed personalization of her work and sleeping spaces by adding a skull to her workspace, hanging pentacles over her bed, laying crystals on her shelves and ordering them not to be moved, and putting gruesome posters of movie and book monsters over her walls.

The non-humans onboard Adventure are immediately concerned, and the captain consults the ship’s human sociologist, on staff for just such situations.

“Gah'veen,” Kathro'o warbles. Xe drops xerself in the chair-like pedestal that stood in the front of Gavin’s desk. “There have been …. comments about our new engineer.”

“What sort of comments?” Gavin asks. He hasn’t seen the new engineer and knows next to nothing about her except her credentials for the position. But he’s never encountered someone who shook up a crew so badly that there were complains before they even left the port.

“This human appears to worship misfortune and death. She dressed in the garb of mourning when outside her uniform. She placed a replica of a human skull on her workstation. Her quarters are filled with images referencing death and … and … I do not have the word for them, those imaginary predators that stalk humans in your traditional story-telling.”

“Monsters,” Gavin chuckles.

“Monsters! Yes! With mouths wet with human blood, standing over the mangled bodies of their unfortunate prey!”

Gavin snorts in a bad attempt to swallow laughter. “You really don’t have the concept of monsters on Eilu'ublen.”

“Of course not!” Kathro'o shouts, xer warble suddenly loud enough to hurt Gavin’s ears. Xe clicks xer mandibles in a sign of embarrassment before going on at a more reasonable volume. “There is plenty in the galaxy that can kill you in horrible ways. Only humans make up fictitious ones to add to the list.”

“Many humans find it fun,” Gavin answered casually.

“Fun?” Kathro'o face become pinched and sunken - no doubt because the blood was draining from xer face.

“It’s just … how do I put this? Aesthetic. It simply looks interesting to her, I’m sure. Some people even find stuff like that comforting.”

“Her omens and images of misfortune and death are meant to bring emotional comfort?” Kathro'o voice rattles hollowly behind xer chest plate, and xer eyes are tiny pinpoints of red set deep in xer face.

Gavin clears his throat. “Look, captain, I’ll tell the new girl to go easy on the Addams Family stuff until we can pass around some material on goth culture. In the meantime, I’m going to call the infirmary to come get you. You’re in mid-stage shock, and any longer without medical care and there might be long-term damage.”

“I … yes. That sounds … nice. Thanks to you, Gah'veen.”

They have to haul the captain to the infirmary for anti-shock treatment. Xe and the rest of crew give Amber a wide breadth, and she seems to allow that for a while. Then one day she sends Kathro'o back into the infirmary for more shock treatment by passing out treats from each crewmen’s homeland with little culturally appropriate symbols of bad luck om them. Xe’s halfway through a cycle of anti-shock drugs when Amber, in a floor-length black gown trimmed with black lace, and miniature top hat adorned with a tiny skull-and-crossbones, comes sweeping up to his bed and sits down next to him.

“Hello, Captain!” she chirps, and her cheerfulness is as bright as her chosen ensemble is dark. “I came with a gift for you!” She reaches into the black wicker basket hanging off her arm and pulls out a tiny paper bag.

The bag is a dark purple, the same eerie shade that Eilu'ublese’s exoskeletons turn when they die. On the front is Kathro’o’s name - written in careful, almost juvenile, Eilu'ublese - in powder pink lines, xe’s favorite color. Xe looks from the offering to the offeror and back again, then reluctantly reaches out xer hand for it.

Inside the bag is another, smaller, clear plastic bag filled to bursting with ifora, small cookie-like treats that are as delicious – especially to Eilu’ublese – as they are difficult to make. They’re an expensive treat around the galaxy because it takes years of culinary training to make them correctly. They’re Kathro’o single favorite thing to eat.

“How did you …?”

“They were the most expensive thing I bought, but the look on your face right now is well worth the money!” Amber beams.

They sit a while, chatting as Kathro’o finishes his treatments and gets through half the bag of ifora. As they’re walking away from the infirmary, xe finally just asks the question that’s been bothering xer.

“Am’burr. You are a great scientific mind, and very charming, and even I can see how beautiful you are.”

“You think I’m beautiful!?” Amber squeaks and turns red.

“Yes! Of course. But I don’t understand why you surround yourself with omens and death and evil.”

“Oh. The goth thing. Gavin told me it was freaking people out. That’s why I’ve been taking today to explain it. For me, it’s power. I wasn’t well liked in high school; I felt like an outcast. For me, it felt powerful to take my undesirableness and make it an amour. To feel proud of being different and strange instead of being ashamed of it. It felt cool to be badass.”

“I know this human term, “badass.” It evokes the power to control and live in situations and activates that the weaker of your peers could not handle.”

“Exactly. I wasn’t pretty, or popular, or cool. But I was strong, and scary, and not to be messed with. Besides, there is power in taking what scares you and making it something to seek out. It robs that things of its control over you, and lets you control it.”

“I understand. On Eilu'ublen, we have a similar concept called aurceth, meaning thriving on what kills others. Traveling between the stars, living one’s life in a ship jettisoning through the cold hostile blackness, living among people with almost nothing in common with oneself, even their biology, it takes aurceth.”

“Yep. You and me, Kathro’o, we’re badasses.”

“That we are, Am’burr. By the way, why today? Why all the work, the money spent, the effort?”

“I have a clock that tells me the date and time of my hometown, where my parents still live. Back there, it’s a Friday, and the thirteenth day of the month.”

“I have heard of Fur’eyday the 13th! There’s movie based on the lore!”

“Yep. What better day than the unluckiest of them, to make rounds and spread some cheer?!”

Kathro’o laughs deep in xer chest plate, an excited rumble that bounces off the walls of the hallway. “Excellent! Let us spread cheer, on this inauspicious of days so that the bad luck cannot touch us.”

Amber links her arm through xers and grins, and off they go.

After that, Kathro’o and Amber are best friends. Kathro’o is the first Eilu’ublese goth. Xe introduces the concept of monsters and the horror genre to the Eilu’ublese mainstream as his ship gains renown in its travels, and he and his unique Eilu’ublese take on goth culture become more well know. A Terran decade after that first Friday the 13th, Amber and Kathro’o marry on the observation deck of Adventure. They and their entire wedding party wear black with powder pink accents.

I got top surgery last month, and here are a few of my thoughts on the non-physical parts of recovery:

  • I feel more comfortable getting dressed in the morning because I don’t have to worry about whether the shirt will accentuate my chest or show my binder
  • I felt weird about my chest in the first few days post-op, sort of uneasy about it and a bit disconnected, like it wasn’t really my chest.
  • Once both drains were removed, I suddenly became totally comfortable with my chest as if everything snapped into place and it became my body again. I used to feel a bit dissociated from my chest before surgery, like looking in a mirror felt weird because what I was seeing just didn’t match how I pictured myself in my head and now it does. Taking selfies also helped me get used to what it looks like.
  • I was scared that I would need a revision when I saw the indent on my left side and it prompted me to worry for a bit that I’d regret having had the surgery and my anxiety was like !!!
  • (It turned out that it was just the drain site and the drain was higher up in my chest than I thought it would be (a few inches higher than my nipple and not near the double incisions and it got less indented when the drain came out)
  • I was so happy one night thinking about all the years in my future I’ll be able to live without a chest and I cried because now I can go to the water park and to the pool and I can just wake up in the morning and get dressed without seeing my chest in my shirt and feeling bad about it
  • I feel freed. I never have to look down and see my chest and be surprised and feel shitty. I keep checking my chest to see if it’s obvious out of habit and seeing that it’s flat just cheers me up.
  • I expected that having top surgery would change how I interacted with people daily and make me pass more, but it’s been about 6 weeks since surgery and I only passed a few times despite a ton of interactions with different people. It was a bit disappointing, but I shouldn’t have expected it to change because from the point of view of the train conductor who missy’d me I’d mostly look the same before surgery wearing a binder as I did after surgery without a binder, and it shows that my passing is linked to other factors more strongly than my chest. Pre-op I’d have no chance passing without a binder, and post-op removes that factor but it seems that without a chest as an indicator people fall back to all the other things that gender me like my high voice and feminine face– so back to not passing.
  • The changes I’ve experienced have been primarily emotional within myself and not related to any external validation as it hasn’t changed my passing as mentioned before. I do believe that it’ll make me more safe in male spaces if I get clocked as not a guy, but I don’t think it’ll change how I move in female spaces as some women have smaller chests or have had double mastectomies to prevent cancer so it shouldn’t prevent me from being read as a woman either.
  • I’ve been focusing on this for so long and using so much of my time and effort and energy to make it happen that I felt sort of aimless now that I’ve achieved what’s been the biggest and most ultimate goal so far in my life.
  • My chest dysphoria isn’t a factor any longer so I don’t have to spend painful hour after hour trying to resist the urge to self-harm on my chest or cut it off myself which was how I spent a lot of nights pre-up. Top surgery hasn’t been a panacea that’s solved all my problems, but it made 1 thing a little better and that’s worth it.
  • For the first time I Really was able to picture myself having a future. Not what I’d be doing or a career or anything, but just being able to picture my physical body being older than it is now. Just being able to imagine growing up and looking like a young adult was really hard for me before, and I just sort of figured I’d be dead by then, like it was inevitable and completely unavoidable. I think that’s mostly my depression, and I’m currently in a better place where I’m able to manage it better for the right now.
  • I want to show my chest off to everyone and it’s the most body-confident I’ve felt in a while. I posted a picture on Instagram, but I’m worried about how people will react to the scars and I don’t want to get any negativity from folks who don’t like my results and feel like it’s okay to comment on that so I haven’t posted anything on Facebook or this account.
  • I don’t feel “sexy” right now because I’m healing, but I feel like me, like how I should be, and I’m still delighted with it like the honeymoon phase of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and you just want to show pictures of you and say how proud and happy you are.
  • I had a few days of body insecurity when I realized I could see my stomach now that my chest is gone and I’ve gained a bit of weight and it shows a bit although I’m not overweight. It’s something I’m trying to get used to because I’m going to try to start exercising for the first time in like 4 or 5 years once I’m healed more, but I am trying to put the emphasis on just being active and eating healthy and not losing weight because there’s nothing wrong with a bit of chub and when I try to lose weight it usually ends up with some disordered behavior.
  • I do feel like my focus has shifted now to lower surgery, but my lower dysphoria hasn’t increased- I thought it would be like my top dysphoria converted to bottom dysphoria like how energy can’t be created or dystroyed. It’s been more like now that I’ve dealt with the top dysphoria there’s less bothering me so I can shift my attention to my lower dysphoria like when you do the big project assignment that’s really been dragging down your grade and then you’re passing the class but you notice that your grade still isn’t an A and then you start planning about doing the missing homework paper that’s worth less than the project. If that makes sense.
  • Aw yeah, I can wear tank tops! And shirts with larger collars! I don’t have to worry about my binder showing!
  • Not having to wear the ace bandage is nice because when I had to wear it I felt like I was still pre-op and binding so it didn’t feel as real in my mind.
  • My left nipple isn’t healed yet and it makes me anxious but it isn’t a debilitating anxiety, just a bit too much worrying about it.
  • I’m suddenly more comfortable with showering and taking baths, so my hygiene is getting better than it was, which I’m sure is a delight to those around me.
  • I wish I didn’t develop a chest in the first place and I wish I didn’t need to get this surgery at all, but that’s not the way things are and because I did grow a chest so this was the best choice for me.
  • I started scar care today by using scar-away strips. I’m 6 weeks post-op as of today.

I’m happy to try to answer any questions someone might have, but I made a top surgery page so check there before you ask me because there’s a chance your question is covered in that info.

I have more posts on my top surgery recovery here.

Building Character - Backstory

For those of you reading this who have never tried their hand and heart at being a Game Master, you may not know why some of us ask our players to write backstories for their characters. Sometimes, your Game Master may not have a purpose behind it. They may just ask you to do it to help flesh out your character before the game or to have you think about the ‘what’s and ‘why’s of your who whilst she sorts the ‘when’ and ‘where’.

I often don’t ask my players for backstories, so do not feel as though it is another tick-box criteria to meet in order to be verified as a GM. Maybe sometime in the future, in the right game and with the right players, I will ask for them. But for now, my games at university don’t last more than six sessions, so I put my effort elsewhere to make what limited time we have last.

However, when I do ask for them I make sure that every line of literature will be treated with the same respect I would show to my own. The words they bring me will be as much a part of the world as the rulebooks. These same expectations are what I bring to other GM’s games when I am a player myself. So today, I will help both GMs and Players understand some ways that a good backstory can turn a good game into a truly great one.

Players - How to fuel the Fire

Your character’s backstory is a vital essence of their being and what makes them who they are. It will determine every moment of their existence, define every fight they partake in, and cast shadows on each of their actions for all of time. It cannot be complete and self-contained, it has to have something.

The best way to put it is that your backstory has to be unstable.

GMs want to entertain and involve you - the good ones do, anyway - and what better way to pull your character into central focus and under the spotlight than by burning everything they thought they knew down to the foundations.

Have your backstory be an explosion waiting to happen - the worldly facade they thought they understood, through and through, just waiting to be blown away to reveal the horrors of reality beneath. Make it like a stick of nitroglycerin - stable, still, safe … but then something kicks it and all hell breaks loose and the stitches unravel.

Play with tropes and cliches, but don’t copy wholesale from someone else - this is your opportunity to help create a piece of wonderfully calamitous art, so don’t waste everyone’s time by being lazy. Everyone’s heard of the soldier-to-slave or rags-to-riches story, but what happens if we add a dash of disaster waiting to happen? Perhaps this rags-to-riches adventurer, shadowrunner, or hero talked with a talking face upon an alleyway one night, trading an unnamed favour for untold riches, only now she swears that she sees that face out of the corner of her eye whenever she goes to sleep. Now that’s some dynamite, right there. Proper, genuine, Alfred Nobel branded nitroglycerin sticks.

Keep the wording short, punchy, and clear, like the ‘about you’ section on a resume if you were looking to get hired at Ominous Past Inc. Remember, you are not writing the whole story - you are not even writing chapter one. You are handing the narrative baton over and seeing where this crazy race will go with all the momentum you just juiced it with.

Game Masters - Everything and it’s Price

This is vital to understand, these upcoming words. Do not misconstrue my meaning, lest there be blood.

There is nothing worse for an audience than a big, bloateddisappointment.

The players are our audience, they are the story and the world and the action and the drama. They are the all and the everything, and If you fuck up their backstory because you got lazy … then your game just took a wound it may never truly recover from. Now this may not be a visible one, it may not even be an injury that needs attention, but it is a void of what could have been. This void will stick with you. Your players may smile and laugh and continue playing just as normal, wistfully unaware of what just happened beneath their dice, hidden amongst the narrative above their heads. But that sinking feeling inside is the very real sensation of a story dying in your hands and collapsing into the blackness. You fuck up the ending, and there ain’t no rewriting this bitch. It’s dead. It’s gone. Spent. Like firing a blank.

So don’t fire blanks - let loose with buckshot and hellfire. These backstories are the lifeblood of a story beyond your own and an opportunity to create the very real illusion of a world that they live in and can turn on them at any second. Have these backstories bite deep and hard at inopportune moments, turning a trivial encounter into a dangerous one, and a dangerous one, deathly.

I’ve had my disappointments, caused and suffered them from both sides of the screen, and I would not wish that weight on anyone. Put in time and effort and preparation into making their conclusion into one that will never be forgotten because, for that fleeting moment around the table, when everyone stops their gossip, eating snacks and adding up numbers, it is real, and they are listening.

That’s the purest glory that I know of. An ending earned.

So, in summary;

- Savour the raw, boiling tension in a slow build

- Never give them the information they want, only what they need

- Save your best for last

- Harvest their backstory for pieces to a story structure you can build. Family, lost ones, enemies, pacts, deals, criminals, empires, crimes, so on and so forth

- Do not rush anything, end your session early if you want so as to make next week devoted entirely to the conclusion so that it kicks as much ass as possible

- Do not make your players uncomfortable by including themes or elements they do not wish to explore

- and most importantly …

… Enjoy

Pixie x

Costume Trouble

Originally posted by agent-spidey

A/N: Hello again!!! So this one is a bit shorter than the last one but I’m so excited for this to ready for you guys to see it!! It’s spooky season and I am so ready for it and I wanted a halloween themed fic so here it is!! I hope you enjoy!! And of course, thank you to @spideyparkerimagines and @teatimewrites for the lovely help you two were while I was writing!! 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1310

Tips: Bold and Italic and (Y/N) and just italic are peter

“Peter, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Ned, how can this not be a good idea?”

“Well, I don’t know, maybe because you’re wearing your Spider-Man suit to a halloween party. What happened to ‘It’s not a party trick’?”

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