i spent my whole morning for this

8

I have spent my whole life scared, frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen, 50 years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. What I came to realize is that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.

anonymous asked:

Can we also talk about how Bakugou went from "weird haired guy" to "Kirishima. Change of plans". Oh man I didn't realize how much I missed the anime *cries*

BOI CAN’T WE I just spent the whole morning crying over seeing the moment Bakugou recognizes Kirishima as an equal animated nbd at all r i p me - I think this might be the first time Bakugou calls anyone by their name, actually, and I just!!! that’s because Bakugou heard Kirishima’s words and recognized him as a good partner and a worthy hero and someone whom he could respect and I’m gonna be grateful for chapter 133 for the insight on this for the rest of my always I !!!!!! have feelings g a h

Anon said: ok ok ok ok but but listen what about BAKGOU AND OCHAKO they are the most popular couple and the most cutest , i think you should try to draw them once i would love love to see this !!! of course just if you want hehe thanx

Ahhh sorry anon but I really don’t ship that - I mean, it’s true that I ship Bakugou with a bunch of people aside from my main two, but if they’re part of Deku’s group you can fairly assume they’re not between my Bakugou ships? And I only romantically ship Uraraka with Deku, Tsuyu and Iida anyway so! You’re probably not gonna see any romantic baku/ocha from me, sorry o<-<

Anon said: Since we know what Bakugou’s parents are like, what do you think Kirishima’s parents are like?

I have a similar ask somewhere asking about Kaminari’s parents as well, so I guess I’ll answer both here?? As a general rule I don’t really like making headcanons over stuff I’m sure the manga will give me in the future, so I can’t say I’ve thought about this too much - there are a few things I work under the assumption of while drawing, like for example I’m taking for granted they both have at least functional families, considering Aizawa personally visited their homes to ask their guardians about allowing them back to school, and if anything had been weird he would have noticed

I like to think Kaminari got his quirk straight from one of his two parents with no mixing happening, and got the Kaminari surname from them as well, but that’s all I ever allowed myself to settle on as far as Kami’s family goes, everything else changes based on what I need for the current scenario I’m thinking about… I do often end back on him being an only child, though - in the same way depending on how angst or lighthearted I want it to be my ideas for Kirishima’s family change a lot, but generally I think I mostly fall back on the idea of him having a big family? In a scenario like that his parents are kind and love him a lot, but having many children and needing to split their attention on all of them might cause them to overlook him a little (it would explain his obsession with being flashy, for me) then again, who knows? I don’t know how canon you can consider the infos SMASH gives, but in one of the strips Kiri mentions working part-time, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have problems with money kinda makes me believe he might be independent from his family like that (unless he’s a rich kid, also very entertaining as a possiblity)

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons floating around about both of these guys’ families and possibly being related to villains, that would be cool too, though I’m not sure how much I believe it

I’m sorry this ended up being little to no useful at all lol as I said, I just shift between scenarios a lot - imagine settling on one and growing attached and then having to let it go once Hori proves it wrong, that’d be terrible for me

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Mom Adopts a “Dog”

So y’all keep blowing up my notes with the various Family Lore stories I’ve been telling, so I guess I should tell one on my parents now.

My Mother’s Father was part of the United Auto Worker’s Union, and during the 50′s and 60′s, was on strike a lot. My point is, grandpa got himself an entirely deserved reputation for being a sucker who loved animals, so people would dump thier pets on him. Hence, my mother grew up in a house with pets such as Picket the one-eyed tomcat, Tweety the Bald canary, Dummy the cat, Stupid Son of Dummy, Spooky Garbage Dog and Chiquita the Tarantula.  Eventually Grandma put her foot down when Grandpa brought home Gerta the Saint Bernard.

I say all this because it provides some context for how the following occured.

Mom and Dad had just moved in together (my parents dated for six years and were engaged for 13 days, driving everyone on both sides insane), and unfortunately, My mother’s German Shepherd, Cops, has just passed away due to bone cancer.  After mourning for a bit, Mom and Dad decided to get a dog together, as a couple.  

For context, my father had never owned a dog in his life.  His mother had ‘Pretty Bird” the budgie as a child but parrots are alien life forms, not pets.

So they go to the Palo Alto Animal shelter to adopt.  The year was 1987, and at the time, Palo Alto was… not a great place.  Lots of drugs, gangs and poor civic managment.  Mom told me that she learned to identify different types of gunfire while living there. They get there, and mom explains that she’s always had a preference for Big Dogs, and the guy’s face lights up.  Oh Yes, he says, We have a Big Dog.  For expirienced owners, yep, adoptable today, here we’ll give you a discount even-

Somehow my parents were not suspicious about this.

They were shown to the Animal in question, a Gorgeous blue-sable beastie with pretty golden eyes who immediately pressed herself against the fence and gave them the best PUH-LEEEEEEASE TAKE ME HOME puppy eyes 100lbs of canine can do.  Mom and Dad fall in love instantly.  They sign all the paperwork and take her home for $10, and name her “Mazel” as in “Mazel Tov.”

Within the hour, it becomes clear that something is amiss.

Cops had lived with his kibble stored in a plastic garbage can in the garage for six years without incident.  Mazel figured out how to open doors and got the locking lid off the can in six minutes, horking down about four pounds of the stuff before my mother notices that it’s been weirdly quiet.  Most dogs bark at or chase squirrels.  Mazel stalked and caught one the second day, presenting it to my mother like an offering.  Mazel knew all her commands but would clearly stop to consider before obeying, and trained my dad to give her good treats within a week.  The locks on the side-yard gate were undone, and she took a stroll around the neighborhood, but always retuned home for dinner.

After a week of gradually realizing that Mazel was smarter than most of the professors my mom worked with, they took her to the Vet for a routine checkup.

Dr. Hamada walked into the exam room, dropped the clip-board and said “Where the HELL did you get a Wolf?”

After a bit of prodding and a very-angry-dr.hamada-calling-the-pound, they determined Mazel was a high-content hybrid, probably with a husky, but was going to be a lil shit her entire life.  OK, said Hamada, I don’t like destroying animals and you’ve got a lot of expirience with dogs, so I’m okay with letting you keep her, but you should keep her away from small children because her Prey Drive could kick in.

Two years later, mom got pregnant with me.

Mazel noticed instantly, and reacted by digging a large hole in the yard and catching even more squirrels for mom, because she needed the protein or something.  That what you do when the Alpha Bitch is preggers, right?  Dig a den and ply her with food?  On the advice of my grandmother, my mom stayed overnight at the hospital once I was delivered, and dad went home with a shirt that had moms and my scent on it.  Mazel spent the whole night puzzling over it.

The next morning, when mom came home with me, there was the sudden and instantaneous recognition of PUPPY!!!!!! :D:D:D!!!!! PUUUUUUUPPY!!!!!!  and Mazel turned into the most aggressively maternal being I’ve ever met.  Playing with me on the blanket, sitting under my chair at meals (I was a messy eater), sleeping under my crib, teaching me to walk by letting me hang onto her fur and shuffle around.

Dr. Hamada thought mom was a madwoman, until he saw me holding Mazel’s mouth open and sticking my face in so i could look at her teeth.  He gave up when my mom announced she was pregnant with my sister.

I’m making living with a Wolfdog sound awesome, but it did come with some drawbacks:

  • Mazel did have to be muzzled at the vets, because she had Opinions about having things stuck up her butt.
  • HAIR.  One of my chores growing up was to brush her out every week and I’d frequently end up with more hair than animal.
  • the only way we could reliably get her to stay in the yard was with an overhead tether with a STEEL cable, which she chewed through anyway.
  • Do you like waking up by being hit in the face with half a dead animal? No? Wolfdogs may not be for you.
  • More than capable of opening the fridge and eating everything if you’re not watching
  • Will get into everything if not otherwise occupied.  Including eating your tax forms.
  • Howls along with sirens at 4 AM.

PROS of growing up with a wolfdog, as a small child in the 90′s

  • I was afforded a degree of freedom normally associated with a pokemon trianer. It was no big deal for me and my sister to walk three miles through my not-really-good neighborhood to the Froyo if I took Mazel with us. People tended to leave us alone when we had 100lbs of overprotective Apex Predator following us around.
  • WINNING at Pet Day at school.  There wasn’t actually a compettion but Billy’s hamster sucks in comparison to an animal that is perfectly willing to demonstrate how she can snap an oak branch in half on command.
  • PTA moms losing their shit because Mazel would walk down the block by herself to come pick ups up from school.
  • Grew up associating the word “Bitch” with teeth and the willingness to rip an asshole’s face off for being rude.  Never changed the definition.
  • Learned the I-Own-This Strut and Murder-Stare from the absolute best.

When she was 17, Mom and Dad decided to add another room on to the house.  They rigged up the overhead tether so she could be outside but not underfoot for the contruction guys.  One morning, mom came out to notice them all milling in the side yard entrance, muttering worriedly.  When mom asked what was wrong, one of them explained that Carlos forgot to bring the Hamburger.  What do you need a hamburger for?  Asked mom, and they pointed down the side yard to where Mazel was sitting, doing her best Viscious Alpha Bitch Stare.

Apparently they’d never realized that she was on the VERY end of her tether there and couldn’t actually get to them, and had been scamming them for a big mac a day for a month.  Mom had my six-year-old sister pull her away to show she wasn’t dangerous and tired her best not to laugh but kind of failed.

Mazel ended up living to be 19 and a half, and except for some minor arthritis, remarkably hale until the day she passed away in her hole in the back yard while taking a nap.  I maintain that Death had to wait until she was sleeping to get a crack at her, or she would’ve taken his scythe for a chew toy.

of course i didnt blow up that building for no reason. im a goddam professional. i blew it up because i thought it would be funny

“I was raised in a very strict family. My mom was like a sergeant. I married way too young. I had no life experience. I was married for twenty-five years and my late husband never let me go anywhere by myself. When he died, I had no idea how to live on my own. For fourteen years I’ve been a widow. And I’ve barely left the house. Recently I met this man on the Internet. We kept exchanging pictures. We kept talking on the phone. But I was too scared to meet. He told me: ‘Put your head up high! You are the boss of your life!’ So today I finally agreed to meet. I tried on five different outfits this morning. After I left the house, I went back once more to change my shoes. I was trembling the whole way on the bus. My stomach felt sick. When I finally saw him, it felt like there was a samba school in my heart. I was sweating. The first thing he did was get me some water. Now we’ve spent the whole day together. I feel so relaxed. I feel free. I feel like we’ve known each other for our entire lives.”

(Salvador, Brazil)

Auntie Bells

by reddit user Pippinacious

Auntie Bells wasn’t really my auntie, or anyone else’s for that matter. I’m not sure she even had any real family at all. It was just what everyone called her. She’d been a fixture in the neighborhood since long before I was born and there wasn’t a single person who didn’t at least know of her.

She was something of a living legend; a crazy cat lady type without the cats. It wasn’t unusual to look out your window in the dead of night and see Auntie Bells shuffling down the street, big walking stick clutched in one hand, her tameless hair shining white in the moonlight. And if you didn’t see her, you’d hear her. Auntie Bells took her name from the bracelets she wore on both wrists, strands of twine run through a countless number of tiny bells that tinkled with her every movement.

Keep reading

8

I have spent my whole life scared, frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen, 50-years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. What I came to realize is that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard you can right in the teeth

MONSTER 2

Jungkook thinks about the night you spent together.

Originally posted by kookie-bts

word count: 3.8k
genre: smut

Monster – one | two

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In the Arms of Dean

 The first time Dean hugs you, you are completely caught off guard. You aren’t used to this kind of affection coming from him. Sam is the guy who gave you a hug before bed, a hug after a hunt and any other time you wanted one. But not Dean. Dean didn’t hug, not often anyways. So when he pulled you into his arms and hugged you tightly, you were almost shocked. You don’t know how kicking some guys ass inside an old run down bar would earn you a hug, but you accepted it nonetheless. 

  After that, it was like your entire friendship shifted. Dean was around a lot more often than before. You would catch him sneaking glances at you every once in a while. He found any excuse to touch you or be close to you. You weren’t born yesterday, you clued into what he was doing, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was just being nice since you worked together and lived together. You didn’t want to assume he felt something towards you and make an idiot of yourself. 

  The second time he hugged you, tears were falling freely from his eyes. Your body clung to his and there was no chance he was letting you go. Turns out you had just died on a hunt, and you were gone for several minutes until Cas came in and healed you as much as he could. 

  “I thought I lost you,” he cried out. “You were dead. There was no heartbeat, you weren’t breathing. You were fucking gone!”

  “Dean,” you coughed out. Your throat dry as sandpaper. 

  “God, I love the way you say my name,” he choked out. “Don’t you ever do that again! You hear me?”

  “You have really pretty eyes,” you smiled softly. His whole body relaxed, a laugh left his lips. “And I like the freckles dusting your nose and cheeks.”

  “Okay there, sweetheart. I think it’s time to get you back to the motel so you can sleep this off,” he said nervously. 

  “You have a nice smile too, especially when it reaches your eyes,” you continued. He stopped lifting you and settled back on the ground in his lap. His left hand came up to your cheek, brushing away the stray strands from your face. His heart was racing in his chest, and you could feel it. “I like it when you don’t shave for a couple of days and the way you eat your french fries.”

  “Y/N, why are you telling me all these things?” he questioned, his voice quiet and defeated sounding.

  “Because I technically died and I don’t want to leave this world without tell you all my favourite things about you,” you stated. “And believe me, there is a whole list of things. I haven’t even scratched the surface.”

  “I love you,” he breathed out, his eyes locked with yours. He smiled weakly, his grip tightening. 

  “I love you, too.”

After that day, Dean hugged you everyday, whether it was from behind, or tightly in the morning after you both got out of bed. You spent everyday, telling him one more thing about him you liked. You watched his face turn a light shade of pink, dropping his head. You knew it made him feel loved, even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

  As strange as it sounds, you were happy you technically died on that hunt. You and Dean had never been happier. 


x

Keep reading

6/100 days of productivity. I spent the whole beautiful morning reading my biology book and later today I’m going to force myself to open the first chemistry book.

I really like this 100 days of productivity challenge. It has helped me to set up small goals for myself everyday and I highly recommend you giving it a try if you like to get work done!

A Little in Love || Jack

Request: 6!!!! ‘oh my god, you’re in love’ JACKKKKK

the Maynard’s/Pieters pad is still a thing for the purpose of this imagine

-

Jack’s POV

I woke up feeling cold. Immediately, I rolled over and cuddled closer to my girlfriend, (Y/N). We had only been officially together for a few months, but she already spent most of her nights with me. She was my favorite person in the whole world. I couldn’t help but lay my face in the crook of her bare neck, pressing my lips to her soft skin. Somehow, even after a night’s rest, I could still smell her perfume. Coconut, my favorite. She let out a quiet giggle, turning to face me. “What do you want?” she asked, her voice quiet having just woken up.

“Morning to you too,” I laughed.

“I was having a perfectly good sleep,” she pouted, “and you woke me up for no reason except to say morning?”

“So I like to wake my girlfriend up with neck kisses,” I shrugged, “sue me.”

“You’re lucky you’re just irresistibly cute,” (Y/N) said, a smile growing on her face. I grinned and closed the small gap between us with a kiss. I rolled a bit on top of her, holding her down against the bed and kissing her a little stronger than before. Her hands immediately went to grip my hair.

When her phone started going off obnoxiously, I reluctantly pulled away from her. She sighed and reached over, shutting off her alarm. “That’s right,” she sighed. “I’ve got work.”

“No,” I whined, pressing my forehead against hers. “Call in sick.”

“I can’t,” she said, pushing me off of her lightly so she could get up. “You know I can’t.”

“You did last week.”

“That’s cuz I was actually sick, Jack,” she laughed.

“Yeah and we got to cuddle all day,” I reminded her, reaching out to pull her back into bed.

“Sorry, not everyone can be stay-at-home YouTube sensations like you,” she teased. I fell back on the bed with a laugh, folding my hands behind my head, watching her put her clothes back on. She truly was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. “Take a picture,” she smiled, turning to face me again as she pulled her shirt over her head, “it lasts longer.” She walked over to me to place a kiss to my cheeks. “I’ll call you later, yeah?”

“Okay,” I smiled. “Have a good day.”

A few minutes after (Y/N) left, I dragged myself out of bed, throwing on some joggers and a t shirt. When I walked out of my room, Josh and Conor were sitting on the couch playing each other in a game of FIFA. “A shock to see you out of bed before 2:00,” Conor teased.

“I mean, you’re one to talk,” I laughed back. “When was the last time you showered anyway?”

“Alright, piss off,” Conor said, still fighting back a smile. “So why’d (Y/N) run off so early? Finally getting sick of you?”

“Nah she’s got work,” I said, scrolling through my phone. “She should back ‘round later. Told me she’d call me.”

“You’re in so deep,” Josh laughed. “There’s never a day she’s not here.”

“I mean she is my girlfriend,” I laughed. My phone buzzed in my hand with a text from (Y/N). I’ve been here for less than an hour and I already wish I hadn’t gotten out of bed. How much longer til I can come cuddle again?

I smiled and texted her back, I told you you should’ve called in sick. Think about it, we could be cuddling right now if you would’ve just listened to wise old Jack. “Oh my god,” Conor suddenly said. I looked up at him. “You’re in love.

“Shut up,” I scoffed, feeling my cheeks blush. “I am not.”

“You are!” Josh agreed. “You’re in love.”

“Shut up!” I said again.

“Have you told her yet?” Conor continued.

“No I haven’t told her yet,” I said, “because I’m not in love.”

“You’re just scared to admit that you’ve fallen for her,” Josh laughed. “I mean, it’s bloody obvious that you have, but you’re just afraid to say that one little word.”

“Because I’m not in love!” I said sternly.

“Mate,” Conor laughed, “you’re going to have to admit it someday. It’s okay to be a little in love. I mean, I’d think you were a robot if you weren’t.” My phone vibrated again and I immediately read the text from (Y/N). “Wise old Jack,” she wrote. I think you’re forgetting that I’m three months older than you and about a hundred times wiser. A smile spread across my face involuntarily again.

“I’ve never known someone who could make you smile that much,” Conor said. “That’s got to count for something, right?”

I sighed, typing a quick response back to (Y/N) before looking up at the boys again. “Okay, fine, maybe I’m a little in love with her,” I mumbled. The boys let out cheers, Conor tackling me in an unnecessary hug. “Shove off!” I laughed, pushing him off of me. “You two need girlfriends. You’re way too invested in my love life.”

Dear Anonymous:

1. I hope she reacts well to your inclinations. I used to love someone like that too. I hope she loves you back. I hope you’re happy.

2. I just want to love too. I think soulmates work that way because life’s too short to be stuck to one person, but one person can change your whole perspective– one person is all it takes to fuel the rest of your life with passion. It’s always worth the rejection. We were built to break and rebuild. Sometimes heartbreak is the way in, but it’s also the way out. Timing is everything. Timing is everything… if you didn’t meet them when you weren’t ready, you’ll never be ready for someone else when they’re ready for you.

3. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay– love is love, right? Who cares if you’re in love with a she or a he, they’ll break you apart or keep you together. It’s such an odd thing. To die and live in a simple three word sentence.

4. A book? By the end of this year, it’ll happen.

5. I am from the darkest corner of your thoughts, the sun crawling through your curtains– I’m the cup of coffee that needs a fuck ton of sugar. I’m the distance we had to keep, I’m the apologies that made us weep.

6. An apology seems to be my only way to start the day as of lately. I’m sorry too.

7. Love is a coffee shop, we’re just the misplaced books. We’re the sentences, we’re the typos. I’ll be the incorrect emoji for the moment, if you’ll be the text sent to the wrong person. I’ll say I love you if you never say it back. I’ll love you if you don’t love me back. You can be sure about that. You can be sure about that…

8. My mind feels kinda broken, I guess we’re all kinda messed up sometimes.

9. This is not talent, this is hard work. Don’t confuse the two. I was not born with this, I woke up one morning like this. I will die with this, I will ink my whole life into your skin if you let me.

10. You loved them enough to let them go. There’s nothing more beautiful than that one simple realization. I will love you from afar and we’ll both grow. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? I don’t think it would’ve worked out anyway, we need this. This time spent apart, we need this. All of it.

11. “Don’t ever make someone your person when they don’t even know how to be their own.” Realest shit I ever read. Big ups.

12. I will never quit writing. She’s always reading. She’s always reading.

13. I’m sorry, I think we’re all in need of assistance. We can’t do it alone. Go out and make a few new friends. They’ll help. I promise.

14. Shit, I don’t know either. I wake up like that. It sucks, but you’ll figure out the truth eventually. I promise.

15. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. How can I answer you if I don’t even know the answers myself? I’m just human. I’m just like you. Nothing new here, just more human frailties.

16. It’s been a year plus, but I still love her too. We’re all missing someone, we just need an outlet.

17. Love doesn’t like to break even, love doesn’t like to remain still– love should feel like a few broken ribs, love should feel like a few torn heartstrings– but love should also feel delicate, love should also be soft.

18. I don’t know what language you’re speaking in, but I’m pretty sure it’s definition is beautiful. Stay beautiful.

19. I fade away every night. If you want to be nothing, I get it. It’s the easy way out. The shortcut to the end. Who doesn’t want that? But choosing to live, choosing to figure it out. That’s commendable. Always is. Always will be.

20. You need to let go of him because until you do… you’ll always be dependent of him. You’ll never be yourself. There is more oneness in loving yourself first versus oneness in loving someone for the sake of feeling whole. Love is an illusion.

21. If I am the Galaxy, then explain my black holes. How many times must I die before I feel like it’s time to live?

22. People can die from a broken heart, but people also forget that they’re a garden. You are the roses. You are the florist. You are the sun. You are the sun. You are the blossom. You are the growth. You are the bees. You grow into me, like how I’ll grow into you.

23. Thank you doesn’t even start to explain you.

24. Fear is a powerful tool for motivation. Use it wisely.

25. If you don’t want it to end, then write it down. Because some day, he might not be there. Some day, all you’ll have are those words. Nothing lasts forever and that’s just something that we must remember. How can you love yourself if you don’t keep that in mind?

26. I’m sorry. I’m not him. I’m not you. How can I possibly give you some ending? We’re all looking for more poison to fill our veins with.

27. I slept for 24 hours, but I’m still tired.

28. It’s hard to backtrack too.

29. It ends when your heart gives out on you. It ends when your search hits a brick walls it ends when your lights dim just enough for you to read the truth etched into your skin like a story that was never supposed to be told. We were meant to feel the love stories, but we could never keep the last page from ringing true. The truth is I love you too.

30. I’ll let you know right now. I am not your ex. And if in some way, I am… then know that no one is out to get you. The only person that’s doing that is you. Waking up to fear is no way to live. Letting go… it’s an excellent start.

31. My opinion on loving someone that doesn’t love you back anymore is this: if you’re doing it. Stop. Just stop. Save yourself some time. Stop yourself from that mistake. It doesn’t end well for you. It doesn’t end well for your emotions. Start with you. It’s a good place.

32. I’m not Filipino.

33. Hello.

34. Pretty crimson leaves used for a pretty crimson sneeze.

35. We’ll never be the same. Change is the only way to live your life.

36. I’m from the same place that all poets were born into. A Silk Road of heartbreaks and slow songs.

37. We’re all unique. From your first thought of today to your DNA.

38. Maybe kiss him today? Fuck it. Life’s too short. Let the make out sessions begin.

39. My thoughts sink us into tomorrow.

40. They say that the smaller you write, the more you care about others. The bigger you write, the more love you’ve got for yourself.

41. I’m afraid that you’re right.

42. There’s always beauty in loneliness. The way he reads that book from across the street. The way she pulls back her hair to drink her tea. The way they fell in love made yesterday like a today we’ll never share.

43. The question is the answer.

44. I’ll call you some day.

45. I’m looking for myself. Shouldn’t we all?

46. You’re a beautiful creature too.

47. Two strangers? The start of every love story.

48. You can call me K.C.

49. Twice by Madeline Stauffer

50. Nothing is wrong with you. There is only more to love.

51. And that’s exactly why I’m answering all of them in this post.

52. I changed my URL because I wanted it to be less about her and more about me.

53. Take a break and walk around. Artificial lighting can hurt us. The sun’s good too.

54. No comment.

55. I’m a robot.

56. I don’t answer anonymous asks anymore because how can I help others if I can’t even help myself kinda realization. My apologies.

57. Poetry about being viewed for only sex… hmm… you sound like somebody I know.

58. Pick yourself first. Always pick yourself.

59. Don’t die. Do not die. There’s so much more out there.

60. Sticking to yourself is a good start.

61. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s only more to love.

62. I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out myself actually.

63. I’ll draw more once my mind is less exhausted.

64. There’s nothing wrong with reading poetry.

65. Love is something that’s immensely felt and hard to measure.

66. I’m trying to be more than just another broken heart.

67. I feel like a disappointment to myself constantly. We’re too hard on ourselves. It sucks.

68. Maybe they should profess their love to each other?

69. I’m sorry.

70. You should listen to your mother. If she’s your guardian, respect her wishes until you’re of age.

71. Drinking and smoking– there’s nothing wrong with it. Although it is nice to give your body a break here and there.

72. I think you’re right.

73. You need to lean on yourself. Remember that people need space from us. People need room to breathe. You can’t smother them.

74. I love you too.

75. I’m sorry. Maybe you should stay away from him. You’re obviously catching feelings when you shouldn’t.

76. Falling in love with your best friend? That sounds terrific tbh.

77. Are you alive? Suicide isn’t the answer.

78. I’m sorry. You need to give yourself some time to heal. Maybe you’re not ready for love.

79. Sometimes I think I’ll die at an early age too.

80. I love them both.

81. All love stories should hold mysteries.

82. Life is full of regrets– you just need to pick the right ones to live with.

83. You deserve to love yourself first.

84. I’m sorry. Empathy is a bitch, isn’t it?

85. “But it’s the way she smiles, like every bullet missed her…” the only way to smile.

86. I would never give up this part of me.

87. I understand. Give yourself more time.

88. Because people are just as lost as you are.

89. I’m trying to be better. I promise.

90. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

91. Who hasn’t fucked up? It’s learning to be better… that’s the only thing that fucking matters. You’re still here, right?

92. Hold his hand and call him yours.

93. I’m sorry. I can barely understand myself. How can I explain you for who you are?



94. You say that I’m a little harsh. Life is rough. Why would I sugarcoat the truth?
—  The truth about you
Off The Bench     By: Y. Black

It was barely after Christmas and they already had a shit ton of Valentine’s Day decorations and candy strewn about every damn store. I had grown to hate that fabricated holiday. Crazy, because I used to be that guy who would go all out for the day. I was fast approaching the second solemn, lonely February 14th, and the third, technically since I had been ruined. Ruined was quite possibly an understatement but it is what it is. I was madly in love at the time. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done to prove just that, and that day was supposed to be perfect.

I had a decadent outing planned, and I had been waiting on the day for months to be completely honest. I pump faked like I was going to work that day, but in reality, I was putting all the final touches on my master plan. Nothing was going to go awry on this day. We had been together for almost two years and she who shall remain nameless, was my everything. That day was going to solidify my stance as to where she stood in my life and what I wanted with her. I made my rounds that day with the biggest smile in my heart. The rose petals had been laid out all over the suite. I had dropped the chef the key to the suite so there would be no delay. I went and picked up her dress and my suit for the night. Shit was just too perfect. I had headed back to the house to surprise bae about fifteen after the hour of 11. Her first 2 dozen roses should have been delivered about 45 minutes prior to my arrival. I was so wrapped up in my grand scheme that I didn’t even stop to think how she hadn’t hit me up all day. As I pulled up to our apartment, the excitement was bubbling over. I was ready to whisk her away for her massage, facial and all out pampering session.

As I made it upstairs to 603B, butterflies filled me. I was convinced she was going to meet me at the door with the biggest smile and hug. I opened the door and was welcomed with an eerie silence. Maybe she was in the tub soaking, I thought. The only hint I had given her as to the festivities that I had planned was to be prepared to be swept off her feet. The candles were lit, the house smelling like vanilla and a hint of lavender. I checked the mail that was on the counter as I passed the kitchen. I heard her voice from the backroom. I smiled and made my way to her sweet melody. I slowly opened the door leading to our room and did a quick scan of the surroundings. She wasn’t in the bed, so I went to the bathroom. I could tell the water had not too long ago been turned off. The mirror still brandished a thick steam coating along the top. I walked to my side of the bed and saw a set of clothes unfamiliar to me. I looked over to the sliding glass door leading to the balcony and I saw her white robe on the floor. I precariously walked over and pulled the blinds back. What my eyes focused upon ripped my heart out of my chest. She was knelt between his legs on her knees, with a mouthful of him. My body kept me frozen in place. I couldn’t bear to watch her service this random like she had serviced me only hours before. I was in complete shock. A million things ran thru my mind all at once. I wanted to cry, laugh, scream out. Hell, I even thought about my nine in the closet. After what seemed to be an eternity I peeled myself from the glass unbeknownst to either of them. Threw a bag of shit together quick and bounced. I left a note:

Hey Tracey,

I just wanted to let you know that I never had a gift like this. This will be with me for a lifetime, I hope you know. I never would have thought I would be kicked in the dick so hard, let alone by you. You were my queen, the reason the sun rose in the east and set in the west; let me tell it. So quickly everything became nothing. But it was all your choice. At any rate fuck you very much, for everything and clearly nothing.

 

I locked the sliding door just as she began to mount this nigga, and I taped the note to the window. I pushed the blinds back far enough so she could see me. The look on her face was utter disbelief. She tried to hop off but I was out. Fast forward now two, just about three years, here I am approaching damn Valentine’s Day again. The last two have been lackluster and that’s an over statement. I can count on one hand how many dates I had been on since that day. That shit made me hardcore. I had no intention on trying at another relationship. We could kick it here or there, and not on no consistent shit either.

That was until she moved in across the street 4 months or so ago. See, I had moved into the city, and was in apartment C of the brownstone, and I happened to catch her on moving day. She was brown skinned, short cut like Nia on Friday almost, and her smile was brighter than Time Square at midnight. I hadn’t been smitten like this in what felt like ages. I kept my distance and had done so for months. But the what if game in my head had gotten real old. We all know curiosity killed the cat, and I was sure to be the next victim. I was hesitant in my approach. Outside of the moments when we happened to be on our street at the same time, I only caught glimpses of her silhouette on the nights I’d sit on my window seat. After seeing her again one evening, it was then and there that I decided I would take a stab at her the next day. It was a blistering morning but I went thru with my plan anyway. I left the brownstone for work a hair earlier than normal so I could make my first move. I stuck a sticky note on her wind shield.

Hello,

I wish I knew your name. But I find you very attractive and I would really like to get to know you. I know this is different but I’m a bit shy but I had to try something to get your attention.

 

P.S. If you’re interested leave a note back here tomorrow.

 

I wasn’t the least bit confident that I would get a response. But that didn’t stop me from pondering what her possible response would be if she even gave one. I wrestled with myself on if I had even taken the right approach. I kind of felt lame, but I had been out of the game so long, I wasn’t sure if I could just go up and talk to her like that. I wrecked my brain all day about this. I ended up grabbing a drink at the bar up the block on the way home. I threw a few back and made my way in. The liquor in my system took the edge off, which was great. I noticed her car was back in place and the note was no longer on the windshield. I hustled into the house as though if she would have saw me, she would have known I was the mystery man behind the note. I was really trippin’ out. I ordered Chinese and peered out the window a few times, but only to see the very silhouette that had me going thru all this madness. Somewhere in the disarray of my thoughts I managed to slip into a deep slumber. I woke up the next morning unsure whether I should be excited or just await the inevitable. I did my normal routine and headed for the door.  I walked over to the car and saw a return note.

Hello,

I am Machelle, this is certainly odd but I consider myself a deferrer, so why not play along? I too don’t have a name for you. And I will do you one better, I love sports how about you?

 

I looked around 3 minutes too late like I couldn’t already have been made. I darted back across the street and up to my apartment. I had to pen the next note to her, knowing I was probably going to be late to work. But how in the Sam hell could I not respond to her promptly? I scrambled around looking for my note pad and in my haste, I found it on the kitchen counter.

Hello Machelle,

First off, I’m glad and honestly shocked you responded. My name is DePaul. Sports are, were instrumental in my life coming up. I love them. Are you a Knicks or Nets fan? What other things do you fancy?

 

I put the letter in a different spot on the windshield than where she had her note. Hopefully she would notice when she came out this morning. I was eager to get off that afternoon, but I had no clue that I’d have another note waiting for me. She had placed it under the left wiper blade and I had used the right one that morning. I guess that would be our indicator. I surveyed my surroundings before swiping my note and crossing the street. The allure of the entire of the situation had me hyped.

 

Good day,

DePaul huh? I like that. What sport did you play? And I fancy many things but mainly I’m a foodie, I love the beach, and history intrigues me as well. How about you? BTW this whole note thing is just too cute.

 

Hey there,

Aww shucks you like my name. I played baseball and basketball, I dabbled in soccer but that was too much running for too little points. History, what’s your favorite era in time? I like history as well but I am more of a science guy. What kind of music are you into miss lady?

 

We exchanged notes for two weeks, and I was rather content. I mean I wanted her but I wasn’t completely ready to put myself out on the chopping block either. I couldn’t lie to myself by the same token and say I didn’t want to have face to face conversation. See what her scent was like, touch her hand, just be in her presence. I think the all the note passing added to the allure of the whole thing. I just couldn’t bring myself to jump off the cliff yet. I was still window watching and sneaking notes. Then she went silent I didn’t get a note for 3 whole days. I was a bit concerned, I hadn’t seen her from my perch either. I left a note only to find it there when I returned home that day and the same the next morning when I left out. I guess the flame and cute little note game had gotten played out. Shit had me in the dumps on a Friday morning. I spent the entire workday pondering what went wrong. I walked from the subway with the least bit of pep in my step. I merely peered over at the Jag to still see the note I’d left the day before in the same spot. I walked up the stoop, stopping in the corridor to check the mail. Bills on a Friday are the worst. I was thumbing through the mail as I walked to my door when my keys slipped out of my hands and fell to the floor. As I knelt to pick them up I looked at the door realized that an envelope had been taped over the peephole. I quickly snatched it down and rushed inside. As I walked past the kitchen I tossed the other mail on the counter. Breaking the seal, a sweet aroma filled my nostrils. Instantly I knew it was her. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I really didn’t know what to expect.

DePaul,

I have enjoyed our back and forth over the past several weeks. And to be frank, I am beyond intrigued and more than impatient to really get to know you. For that I had to step up the game, let you know I know who you are and I am yours for the taking. I am free on the 14th so we should get together grab a bite of sorts. I’m sure you are going to go to your window… You’re not the only one that has been watching. In fact, I’ve been watching you since I came and looked at my place two months ago. But shhhh… don’t tell anybody. That can be our little secret. But let me know about dinner, call me 646-555-5525. Besides I am ready to hear your voice.

Damn, like for real damn. She put her foot all the way down on me. She put the note on my door, so I knew there was no mistaking the tone. And she slick let me know she knew who I was. That was a turn on. She was going for what she wanted and didn’t have a lick of shame in it. I was too hype to call. My mind was racing on what I could do with her on the 14th of…. Aww damn that’s Valentine’s Day. That fact hit me like a ton of bricks, but by now I am too invested and too intrigued not to push forward. I made my mind up right then and there, I was no longer going to let what happened those years ago, mold my future any longer. I sat on the couch pondering for a few moments. I wanted to peer out of my window but I didn’t want her to see me. It would be just my luck.

I headed to the shower with my mind set ablaze. What would she sound like? Would it be as sweet as she looked? Would our conversation flow like our notes had? Would my pen pal be everything I had spent the last few weeks dreaming about? I wonder if her lips would feel as good as this water felt after a long day of work. I was curious before, but now this was torture. Sitting on the edge of the bed clutching her last note, I was on a cliff, and I wasn’t sure what awaited me. But… I was too far gone to not jump. I dialed the number from the note. I could feel my heart in my throat, as it rang in my ear. At the end of the second chime she answered. It was the sweetest hello I had ever heard. I was stuck, in complete infatuation. The second hello brought me to. Clearing my throat, I reciprocated the pleasantries. We talked for an entire two hours that first night. Everything flowed so well. Two episodes of the Vikings marathon had come and went and yet I was still yearning for more of her. I know I went to sleep with a smile on my face that night.

The 14th was Tuesday, and we had discussed getting together as she suggested. The weekend gave me time to fester in my thoughts. I had already decided we would head to Manhattan to have dinner and a movie at the new dine in cinema. I was dead locked on that one. After that though, I would be at her mercy as she wanted to take me to what she described as a cool dessert spot. I was game for it though. I was just ready to be in her presence. I didn’t bug her over the weekend, though she did call to check up me. Apart of me wanted to kick it with her but I played it cool. Besides, if all went well I would afford myself a plethora of chill time.

Tuesday rolled around and 5 o’clock couldn’t take any longer to arrive. Butterflies had gripped me all day. I rushed out of the door and made my way to the subway station. The date was set for 7. That gave me just the right amount of time to get home, wash the day off, and get spiffy. Had this nice little number I put together, nothing too heavy. This was a light date of sorts, like a getting to know each other kind of thing. Some fresh denim, a black polo, accompanied by a military green bomber that accented my olive Timbs well. By 730 the kid was ready and dressed to impress. I called over and she told me she was ready as well. I told her I would be down waiting on her. I decided Uber would be the best bet. I figured we’d have a couple drinks and what not, so better safe than sorry. Just as she was coming down, the car was pulling up. She came down with jeans and a coat that hid her top, looking like a real around the way girl in her wheats. That look to me was so sexy, thought she probably thought nothing of it.

50 Shades was ok, I feel it could have been better, but it was definitely a good date movie. I had a million questions brewing in my head but I kept it cool. I was trying to remain a gentleman I swear, but in my head I was pondering what turned her on. Was she into any of this? Like the thoughts of her were getting me hot. We hadn’t even mentioned sex in our conversations but it was all that was on my mind at present. I was glad when the movie concluded. Then maybe my rampant mind would take a break. On the way out, our hands found one another.

“So, what did you think?” I probed. I was low key trying to see what piqued her interest as well as gauge how the night may end. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want her the very second she sat next to me in the uber. She smelled of heaven, and I was convinced that it was a place I wanted to go.

“Oh I liked it, but I thought it would be more intense. The way people rave about it, I was expecting more… Maybe I’m just hella freaky.” She didn’t even look up from rummaging in her purse. The uber pulled up as the blank stare and awkward silence gripped my soul.

I let her in on the back-driver side and I walked around to the other side of the car. As I got in the uber driver greeted us and asked us how our night had gone. Turns out she had seen the movie over the weekend. Her eyes lit up as she said she enjoyed it. Machelle couldn’t see her face though. They went back and forth about the movie. My eyes were glued to my date’s lips. The words flowed eloquently from her luscious chops. I felt myself leaning in unable to stop myself. Her eyes found mine, and she halted conversation abruptly. My body had superseded my mind. My mind was on the fence about the reception I would receive, but my body was itching to know what the outcome would be.  Our lips met with a fire hell couldn’t match. Her lips were as soft as my mind had dreamt and they fit upon mine just perfect. We wanted, no needed to know more.

I felt neurons shooting from every part of my frame in every direction. Her hands traveled up the back of my shirt, all but confirming we were in the same book, on the identical page, equivalent paragraph, and sentence.  She bit my bottom lip as my tongue delved into her opening. We traded places as I sucked and nibbled on her lips. We were just heating up, yet the windows were already beginning to glisten with fog from our steamy, passionate kisses. The more we embraced the deeper I fell into her. My hands descended inside the top of her pants and my hands found the top of her plump pussy, and I was shocked to discover we were both free ballin’. It was a nervous thing I did on a first date, don’t judge me. But anticipation gripped me the closer I got to her love center. As I landed home, she clamped down on my lip and we cooed in unison. I was in need of a life jacket. Swimming wasn’t on our original date itinerary, but adjustments would surely be made.

Her moans encouraged my every effort. She sounded of pure passion and love. I knew this was the gateway drug to an addiction of her. “I’ve been wanting to do this since the second note. Mmmm I’ve needed you to touch me.” She cooed to me. This Uber had turned into a really hot episode of taxi cab confessions. My lips found her neck as my fingers dove deeper in her swimming pool and didn’t even realize we had made it back home. Our diver didn’t bother to announce our arrival either. She was playing in her own pool in the front seat. The car was oozing of us, it was euphoric to say the least.  I was ready to get all the way wet. My phalanges found my lips as I was reluctant to pull away.

“Thank you” I uttered to our driver.

“No thank you” she rebutted, cleaning her own fingers. We all chuckled before we exited.

Machelle and I shared a steamy glare as we stood on the sidewalk on her side of the street, then we kissed hard as the car pulled off. I held her tight to me. With a bright flash the skies opened up and the rain began to pour. Machelle turned and bolted up the steps clutching my hand pulling me in tow. I watched what once was a rain drop now a bead of water, run down her caramel glazed skin tone. Before she could unlock and open the door, our tongues met again like fire and water. There was a slight jolt followed by a low moan. She turned the nob and pushed the door open, granting us access.  While I was scanning the room Machelle was fixated on shedding clothes. I was oblivious to it.

“MM..MM” she commanded my attention. My eyes most certainly feasted on her gorgeous frame, still glistening. Her c-cup breast still restrained in her gray lace bra. Her hips were being gripped with the matching thong. I could feel my heart beating fast. I wanted every part of this woman. I slowly made my way over scanning her loveliness. I followed her eyes and I could tell she was undressing me with them. Shirt first, up and over; then I unbuttoned my jeans. My chest met her breast as we embraced. She felt of satin to me. It was completely mesmerizing. My hands traced her outline. She felt perfect.

“I wanna taste you” She said, pushing me on to the sofa. I offered no objections. She kneeled before me taking my dick between her lips. Her tongue toyed with my head, before she descended my shaft. She was so gorgeous with my meat in her mouth. Her light brown eyes peered into my dark ones. Slurping she found an up and down rhythm, making me head fall back onto the sofa.

“Shit!” I murmured. She was giving me that work. Taking my dick out she slapped her cheek. She was revealing her monstrous ways the more she delved into me. I don’t know if she was trying to come out the gate and one up me, or was this just her normal lip service. But she was about to have me on the ropes in a second. I guided her head up and my shit left her mouth with a loud pop. She was ravenous on the rod. I gave her a look like, you mother fucker you. She blushed and quickly put on a devilish grin. I opted to not release my own beastly way upon her. I figured I would spring up on her at a less suspecting time. I reached down to my jeans that were around my ankles. I lifted a condom from the back pocket. I slid it down my still soaking member. Machelle straddled me, split her entrance on my pole. Condom on and all, I could feel the tsunami her lips were staving off. She nestled atop me, and proceeded to find a rhythm. My hands continued to roam her curves. Her gorgeous breast dangled just out of reach. Gripping her ass, I leaned up and sucked one of her protruding nipples into my mouth. She moaned deep and threw her head back, never breaking pace. Her pussy was gripping me with every up stroke.

She rode me like a champion, But I was ready to put my mark on her. The way her hips rolled on my dick was tantalizing. Her pretty breast dangled and bounced in front of me. Teasing my lips each time they swooshed passed my mouth. I was ready to put in work of my own. Machelle probably thought my bashfulness would translate to the bedroom but I was anything but in that arena. I wrapped my arms around her and stood up. Naturally her legs locked around me. I flexed my strength as I gave her that up stroke. She was game, sinking her teeth into my neck. Little did she know she was feeding the beast. Any more she would be unlatching the cage that contained it. Her nails dug in to the curve of my back. The passion was unreal. It was as if the more I pushed the more she grabbed and vice versa. You ever get intimate with someone, and know you made the right choice and know this is the start of something amazing. This was that, to the 10th power. I never felt so connected, so passionate, so beastly… all at one time. I wanted to passionately give her me but in the same sentence I wanted to bend her over, grip her by the throat and an ass cheek and punish her good ass pussy. I kept my composure though, at least for the moment. I couldn’t blow the top off of her imagination on the first go round. Not sure she could handle that. But she was fucking me like she wanted to take it there. She was fucking back with raw passion in her eyes.

I let her dismount me, and she posted up on the couch and pointed that gorgeous ass at me. It was swaying from side to side in slow motion. In reality, it was swishing back and forth rather quick. I was so gone I was watching each ripple as her ass moved about. She rocked back into my stiffness, she was so wet I slid in like a butter knife in warm butter. I didn’t move initially, I let her bounce that pretty ass on me. I could feel the cage become more unhinged. The better me knew I should have walked away. But she kept me entranced with her silky smoothness. I grabbed her hips, halting her movements. She looked back at me over her shoulder.

“Damn baby, I want more. Please can I have more daddy?” Her tone shot straight through me. It snatched the lock right off the cage.

“Fuck” I muttered to myself. I knew the tides would change rapidly in the next few moments. It was like the harder I pulled the harder she pushed. I halted my movement, as a last ditch effort to hold back. She probably was of the impression she had me on the ropes. But, she was wrong. Machelle flashed a sexy grin at me over her shoulder, then she started to twerk on my dick like it was her finishing move. Shit was driving me wild, and in essence she was only inching closer to my on-switch. She threw her head back and magically my hand grabbed a fist full of her curly locks. She let out a loud gasp as I matched her buck with my thrust. She wasn’t ready, and I had no cares. She brought this upon herself. Her ass was no longer coming back with the same determination as it once had. I pulled her up closer to my frame, gripping her titty and squeezing her nipple at the same time. Her muffled moans were getting harder to contain. In the madness my hand left her hair and moved towards her throat. As I gave her neck a gentle squeeze, I felt her pussy clench upon me as she found her release; with it came a screeching moan that I’m sure could have been heard from my place. I was poised to fill this rubber up. I get off on reactions and lawd she touched my soul in that moment. I pounded that pussy out until I came hard and fast. With a loud growl I spilled my cum all inside her soaking wet, hot kitty, and we collapsed in euphoria. We lay there sprawled out and panting.

“Machelle???” I managed between breaths. She just looked at me, unable to form words as of yet. “Machelle, you wanna be my girlfriend?”

Stupid Feelings (Part 3)

Originally posted by farous

Part one here    Part two here

Anon requests: Omggggg I looooooved stupid feelings!!! Will wait for part 3!!! Love your writiiing!!!

If I slip ya a twenty do you think you could make stupid feelings pt 3 but with a little bit happier twist ;) P.s. you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’ll respect anything you do because you’re a wonderful writer

please do a part three of stupid feelings it’s so angsty it fuels my soul

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Description: Based off of Taylor Swift’s “Clean”, (Y/N) goes through the healing process of losing a best friend.

Warnings: a lil angst

Word count: 934

A/N: This is the last part. sorry if you guys don’t get enough closure with this, but so far all of my other imagines / series have had happy endings, and although this isn’t exactly a sad ending, it’s not happily ever after and i’m very satisfied with it.  i hope you guys like it, enjoy!


The drought was the very worst

When the flowers that we’d grown together died of thirst

It was months, and months of back and forth

You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore

It had been months since I talked to Jughead. Although avoiding him was brutal, I knew that this was good for me.

The most painful part was not avoiding Jughead, but rather the sudden lack of his presence.  Over the course of a few months, we had formed a close bond, and then it was suddenly ripped apart.  It was like having a drought right after a heavy rainstorm.

Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That’s when I could finally breathe

And by morning gone was any trace of you,

I think I am finally clean

Healing is a process.  Every day I spent without Jughead was agonizing, but I kept repeating to myself that healing is a process.  I cannot heal if I return to the pain.

Did it hurt that I constantly saw Jughead with Betty?  Yes.  Was it painful to see them smiling and happy at Pop’s together?  Yes.  

There was nothing left to do

When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

Cheryl was scrolling through my camera roll on my phone when she suddenly stopped and sent me a distasteful look.

“Really, (Y/N)?” she asked, rolling her eyes as she showed me a picture on my phone. It was a selfie Jughead and I had taken together when we used to talk to each other.  “I thought you were getting over him?”

“I am,” I responded, snatching my phone out of her perfectly-manicured hand.  “I just wanted to keep this.  It’s my last picture of him.  The rest are deleted.”  She shook her head in disapproval.

“Delete it, honey,” she advised.  “It’s for the best.”

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That’s when I could finally breathe

And by morning, gone was any trace of you,

I think I am finally clean

I think I am finally clean

Said I think I am finally clean

It was a rainy night, and I was locked in my room.  Tears would not stop rolling down my cheeks.

“This is pathetic,” I whispered to myself, gripping my blankets.  “Pull yourself together.”  Clenching my eyes closed, I tried to calm myself down.  “I’m over it, I’m over him.”

The next morning, I woke up with puffy eyes.  I examined my appearance in the mirror, rubbing my face in a helpless attempt to make it look like I wasn’t crying.

“Healing,” I muttered.  “I’m healing.”

 10 months sober, I must admit

Just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it

10 months older, I won’t give in

Now that I’m clean I’m never gonna risk it

Ten months. It had been ten months since I had spoken to Jughead.  I spotted him with Betty less and less.  Part of me wondered if something happened between the two of them, but then I also realized that maybe I just don’t care anymore.  Maybe I’ve finally moved on.

It was freeing, being healed.  I could walk down the hallways and look all his friends in the eyes.  I could talk to Veronica without sadness pressing down on my chest, I could wave at Archie in the hallways.

But I still could not return to Jughead.

He was still my source of pain, and even though I knew that my heart had healed, the pain would come rushing back if I started talking to Jughead again.

 The drought was the very worst

When the flowers that we’d grown together died of thirst

 Rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That’s when I could finally breathe

And by morning gone was any trace of you,

I think I am finally clean

Veronica and I became close friends, and soon I found myself being welcomed by her whole friend group.  She was aware of what happened between me and Jughead the previous year, so she made sure to keep him in the dark about our blossoming friendship.

I sat with her, Kevin, and Betty at lunch one day.  Betty had become my friend, and I found myself able to enjoy being in her presence without thinking about Jughead.  We were laughing about something when Archie approached us, Jughead following.  He stopped at our table, and we fell silent.  Jughead and I immediately locked eyes, and I knew I could not avoid this any longer.

Maybe I had it wrong.  Maybe avoiding Jughead wasn’t the best way for me to cope.  As I stared into his eyes, I realized that I was not fully healed until I could talk to him again.  Until I could look my once best friend into the eyes and greet him, I was not completely okay.  The corners of his lips tentatively twitched upwards, hesitant about whether or not it was okay to speak to me.  Before he could utter a greeting, I beat him to it.

“Hi, Jughead.”

 Rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That’s when I could finally breathe

And by morning gone was any trace of you

I think I am finally clean

Finally clean

Think I’m finally clean

Think I’m finally clean

Valentine

a quick drabble for the day

Hanzo has never cared for Valentine’s Day. 

In Japan it was different, of course–the old tradition was women giving men the honmei-choco, although in this day and age that was gradually becoming less common, and the only real rule was that a male person got a gift. Genji liked to take great advantage of it and the following White Day when they were young. Hanzo had mostly found all of it pointless, and would have had his gifts thrown out by his father, anyway. 

Nowadays, the day means nothing at all. He had been alone until a few months ago, and all it carried was a few old, bitter memories from years past. He has ignored it for 10 years and intends to continue doing just the same.

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Perfect - Carl Gallagher x Reader

Requested by Anon
warnings:  
pURE CUTENESS
pairing: Carl Gallagher x Reader
Description: You and Carl just officially started dating and he surprises you with a date night
A/N: This is extremely gushy and I wrote it while I was half asleep and honestly I can’t deal it’s too cute brace yourselves for the cutest thing ever (and I couldn’t write about How Would You Feel, so I’m sorry but look this is still cute)


You sit on the back porch steps of the Gallagher house, smiling to yourself. It was dark out, which made the butterflies in your stomach soar. What could Carl possibly have planned at this time? You couldn’t help the feeling in your chest for the surprise.

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