i spent money on this you know

If you ever feel like you must be the most unobservant person in the world, remember: I once spent half a year failing to notice that my new favourite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the Ukrainian mafia.

(I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but in retrospect, the fact that it was always dead no matter the time of day - I think the busiest I ever saw it was five people, myself included - well, that should have been a tipoff. Also, the waitstaff kept calling me “Mr. Prokopetz”, which I had assumed was just part of the restaurant’s gimmick, but given that “Prokopetz” is a Ukrainian surname, I’m now forced to wonder whether they’d thought I was, you know, in the business. I just liked the pierogi!)

A note to fanfic writers from an artist.

I’m gonna say something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I want to thank the fanfic winters out there who spend hours writing beautiful pieces of work to share with others, and I’m sorry that so many of you don’t get the recognition or thanks that you truly deserve.

 Coming from an artist, I truly believe that writers have it much harder compared to illustrators in terms of gaining fans and receiving recognition. For artists such as myself, it’s much easier to receive followers, likes, and reblogs because people only need a few seconds to decide whether or not they like the art style and if they want to share it or not. I also have a multitude of social media platforms to choose from: Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Patreon, Deviantart, heck even YouTube and AO3 if I wanted to. For writers, it’s much harder (not only because their platforms are more limited) but because most people either skip past the word of text, don’t have the time to read the fic, or ‘like’ the fic to read it at a later time. This makes it very difficult for fanfic writers to get their work circulated and to gain new fans. 

Additionally, unlike artists, it’s extremely hard to profit off writing (unless you get to publish a book in which case- YAY!!!! But the chances of being published is very very slim;;). Illustrators frequently sell merch, have Patreons, or fill commissions to make a little extra money on the side. With fanfic writers, that’s close to impossible to do. I saw a writer I follow try to open a Patreon and charge three bucks a chapter for a fic they spent hours writing. Three bucks for a 5,000+ word chapter. Thats like five double-spaced, five-paged essays. Do you know how long it takes to write that many words? Asking for three bucks was already extremely, EXTREMELY cheap. But of course, ‘paying for fanfic???? Noooo.’ The amount of hate and negativity that the author received just blew me away. Authors spend just as much time on their works as artists do, so why are some people willing to pay $25-$85 for a drawing, but not three bucks for a chapter? I’m not saying that artists don’t deserve the recognition or money they earn because I know that artists put a lot of time and effort into their art, and I applaud them for utilizing their talents to reach where they are today. I just wish that more people would also give some of their love to the amazing fanfic writers who are underappreciated and deserve so much more. It’s very discouraging when you spend hours on something and barely get recognition for it. So please, help support fanfic writers by sharing their work so they can gain new fans and allow other people to see their amazing talents as well.

bangtan asks

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be?

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

jump: favorite childhood memory?

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

i like it pt. 2: dream date?

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)?

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

i need u: are you in love?

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

move: last time you cried?

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

save me: your favorite place on earth?

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

lie: biggest fear?

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

mama: are you good at giving advice?

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

spring day: who do you miss right now?

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

  • me: *makes one post saying i'm more worried about jewish people in the current political climate, than i am of pewdiepie potentially losing money after making antisemitic jokes*
  • you demons, flooding my inbox: pewdiepie is an innocent 27 year old child, and if you watched his videos instead of listening to all the lies the evil mainstream media feeds you you'd know this! he wasn't being antisemitic, he was just paying poor foreign people to humiliate themselves by writing antisemitic hate speech on a sign! all those times he made antisemitic jokes in the past doesn't count, because they're just jokes! he even made a half-assed apology video were he spent half of the time whining about how unfairly the media is treating him, what more do you want? also here's an endless amount of #standwithpewdiepie videos you have to watch where famous youtubers defends him, never mentions the recent rise in antisemitism, and plays into the alt-right narrative that all mainstream media is fake news! so as you can see, pewdiepie has never done anything wrong, and if you as much as imply otherwise you're being a mean bigot who need's to be taught a lesson in respect™ from markiplier :)
The New Sugar List: 47 Songs to Inspire You

I created the sugar list out of need. I needed to songs to get ready to, to boost my confidence to, to remember why I had decided to go pro in the first place. Once I started the list, I found myself listening to and discovering new songs to add to the list. It’s an ever growing monster that I hope you enjoy. There are some songs that would be perfect on this playlist that I avoided because I had exhausted their appeal to me and others because I didn’t like the artist or the message they were providing. This list is just a jumping off point. Tweak it to your hearts content. 

  1. Whatever You Like- T.I.- Perhaps one of the first songs I ever heard that talked about sugaring. It’s still a dream. A man that will look me in the eye and say I can have whatever I like? Please, sugar gods, please. 
  2. 6 Inch- Beyonce- Walk in the club like nobody’s business….
  3. Pay Me- Miguel- …and tell them to pay you. 
  4. Normally I Get It-Lola Wolf- This song is SO me as a newbie. Improvising, taking advice I should have ignored, wondering how it all went wrong. It’s an excellent reminder of how far I’ve come and an opportunity to laugh at the past. 
  5. Lemme Get That- Rihanna- Her Excellency appears on this list five or six times. There’s a reason for that. This song in particular has always warmed my heart. There was a time when I was breaking up and making up over furniture.
  6. Bandz a Make Her Dance- Juicy J- Because, yes, bandz will make me do things that I wouldn’t do otherwise. Like pay attention to you. 
  7. Can’t Tell Me Nothing- Kanye West- This is my reminder that I’m not sugaring for accessories. I’m trying to better myself. To get certain things that will advance me towards my goal. To build a business that will get my money so right, I’ll only have men around for giggles. 
  8. Money Make Her Smile- Bruno Mars- Well, this isn’t a lie. 
  9. Work B**ch- Britney Spears- It’s my alarm to get up in the morning. It’s my reminder that this life isn’t easy
  10. Pour It Up- Rihanna- A reminder not to be afraid to get what I want. He could leave me tomorrow but I’ve still got these gifts and I know I can find someone to get me more.
  11. Glamorous- Fergie- If you aint got no money take your broke ass home. Thanks
  12. Maneater- Nelly Furtado- Because after some time spent fumbling, I’ve figured out what type of seducer I am. Men beware. 
  13. Raining Men- Rihanna- I could dwell on my failures or I could recognize that there’s more than one rich man out there and get another.
  14. Murder- Justin Timberlake- The self esteem boost I need when I can’t get my eyebrows right.
  15. Luxurious- Gwen Stefani- You worked so hard to get an SD and now you have. You worked so hard on your profile and gathered the courage to go on a POT date. Celebrate
  16. Love ‘Em All- K. Michelle- When my vanilla friends ask how I can go from man to man so quickly, this is the song that starts playing in my head
  17. Faithful- Drake- This song doesn’t really belong on this list but when I heard Amber Rose saying that she just liked really expensive shit, well I had to add it. 
  18. She Knows- Ne-Yo- I didn’t quite understand the concept of owning your sex appeal, of never apologizing for it. I get it now. 
  19. Throw Sum Mo- Rae Sremmurd- If you’ve got cash who or what should you be spending it on besides me? Throw some mo.
  20. Shawty is Da Sh*!- The- Dream- Yes, actually, I am. 
  21. All N My Grill- Missy Elliott- To the men who want to text and email and date the women they met on SD sites but don’t want to do the one thing that the site says they should be doing. Why aren’t they paying bills?
  22. She Wants to Move- N.E.R.D. - When it’s time for me to leave you, when it’s time for me to dance, you don’t need to come with me, daddy.
  23. Paper Planes- M.I.A. - All I want to do is take your money? Sounds accurate
  24. Got It- Marian Hill- My reminder that the things I have, the things I bring to the table can’t be bought or stolen by any man. There isn’t enough money in the world
  25. My Love is Like…Wo- Mya- This is not a lie. I will change your life. You will crawl back to me over and over again because of what I provided.
  26. Feeling Myself- Nicki Minaj- Because I am, I am feeling myself. It’s hard work but I’m successfully doing what I said I was going to do. 
  27. Bitch Better Have My Money- Rihanna- Does this honestly need an explanation? While I’ll never be posting allowance shots, I want what I was told I could have when I was told I would have it. 
  28. Plastic Bag- Drake & Future- I do deserve it, yes. 
  29. About the Money- T.I.- His second feature on this list and perhaps one of the more obvious songs. If it aint about the money, why are we speaking? What else could you possibly offer?
  30. Mascara- Jazmine Sullivan- Perhaps the song that speaks the most blatantly about life as a sugar baby on this list and the song that I think should be the sugar baby anthem, it’s a reminder to always stay well dressed, always stay ready for more. 
  31. The Boys- Nicki Minaj and Cassie- They’ll always spend money when they think there is love. 
  32. Guap- Big Sean- If you’ve ever gotten anon hate, dirty looks when you’re out in public, or patronizing conversations with friends that couldn’t begin to do what you do: I need you to blast this song. 
  33. Conceited (There’s Something About Remy)- Remy Ma- The attitude you need to have when they say you aren’t good enough and walk away, announce they don’t desire you, or try to lowball you. 
  34. Afford My Love-Dreezy-  The truth is, salty salts, you can’t afford me. This is not my problem.
  35. Money Over Love- Bilal- Money over love cause the best things in life aint free. 
  36. The Morning- The Weeknd- The money is the motive
  37. Spoiled- Wale- The song opens with Wale affectionately saying “with your spoiled ass”. I laughed. I am spoiled. Why shouldn’t I be?
  38. Anaconda- Nicki Minaj- A reminder that a man can want you for your body. Do you know what you want him for? Cause he buys you Balmain?
  39. Ex’s & Oh’s-Elle King- They always want to cum but they never want to leave (or pay).
  40. Sally-Bibi Bourelly- They don’t understand us. Hate, jealousy, and fear are better. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance. Let me see you rock little Sally.
  41. Back Up-Dej Loaf- Yeah, I made you feel good but…why are you blowing up my phone? Is there money? No? Back up off me. 
  42. Nun for Free-Zonnique- We don’t do nothing for free. Amen, amen.
  43. Nothing is Promised- Mike Will Made-It & Rihanna- You can lose it as quickly as you got it. Be smart
  44. Rich-K. Michelle- The only way to solve rich people problems? Get richer. Grind ladies
  45. Sex With Me- Rihanna- If I could play this song every time I’m asked if I’m a sexual person…the time I could save.
  46. No Scrubs-TLC- No explanation needed. They knew.
  47. Buy the World- Mike Will Made-It- What you think we out here hustling for? We’re just trying to buy the world and do the impossible.

What would you add to this list? Do you have any favorite songs that you get ready to take over the world (or a wallet) to?

The price of hard work

Check Please, following Bitty’s jam debacle


Lardo sighed. Immediately, Bitty set the ingredients on the counter and turned around, caretaker instincts on full alert.

‘Lardo? What is it?’

‘Humpf. I need to price my art, and it sucks,’ she mumbled, drawing a duckling on the margin of her list. ‘Needs to be done before the end of year expo, but honestly? I’d rather give the lot and don’t bother with money.’

‘Larissa Duan! You spent the entire semester on these! You can’t just give them away!’

‘… Yeah but I like making art.’

‘It’s still work! You should be paid for that effort! And all the money you spent on supplies- lord I can’t even imagine how much those gigantic canvases are. Weren’t you complaining about how expensive good paint is just the other day?’

‘Yeah, I guess so. So, you’re saying all good work deserves remuneration?’

‘Of course!’

‘So you should get paid for your jam.’

‘Wait what- no! Not me! This is completely different-’

‘Hm. I tried. Shits, your turn.’

At that same moment, Shitty enters the kitchen, dressed only in a pair of Falconers boxers and a black tshirt that belonged to Lardo, which fit him like a crop top. Bitty didn’t even know he was at Samwell that day. 

‘Eric Bitty Bittleman The Second, tiny bro of my heart, maker of the pies, we need to talk.’

‘If this is about the jam, I already told the Falcs I didn’t want to be paid-’

‘I’m here to talk to you about market pricing, my man. There are other people, out there, working their asses off to make delicious jam, and they love doing it as much as you do. But those bros, bro, are actually depending on it to pay the rent. What you’re doing, here, is depreciating the value of jam, and convincing fans of said jam that they can have an product of excellent quality- for FREE! This is bad for business, Bits, this can even come back and bite you in the ass when you open a bakery. You don’t want to hurt future you and your fellow bakers, don’t you?’

Bitty stays silent for a moment, mouth wide open.

‘I- I didn’t think of it like that! I was just, you know, in the zone, you know how I get? And then there was all this jam, and I know the team would make a good effort, but they couldn’t seriously eat it all? But, I didn’t know it actually had an impact on the economy?’

‘Well, now that they know where to find delicious jam and baked goods for free, do you think the Falcs, their families and the SMH are going to get it elsewhere?’

Bitty bit his lip and looked at his hands.

‘I just wanted to make them happy. I love feeding people.’

‘And you can! You still can! I’m not saying you can’t make gifts once in a while or bake for your friends, I’m just saying there’s a line at some point.’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I know nothing about- about pricing! Lardo, how do you even manage with art?’

‘I use my resources, man,’ she said, snapping her fingers.

At that moment, Ransom and Holster barged into the kitchen, both carrying their laptops.

‘Boys? Were you all waiting in the hallway?’

‘No time for chitchat, Bits, time is money,’ says Holster, straddling a chair backwards in front of him. ‘We’re here to help.’

‘I got a spreadsheet here,’ says Ransom, sliding his laptop. ‘Compiling ingredient prices, electricity for the oven, mason jar prices, transport from Samwell to Providence and your work time, from the moment you went to buy those fruits until you closed your last mason jar.’

‘That- that is a lot of time.’

‘Wish I had that kind of concentration for studying law,’ grumbled Shitty.

‘It’s not all,’ continued Ransom. ‘This second sheet calculates the prices of similar products from spots around Samwell and Providence, from the Stop N’ Shop to the fancy little cafés and farmers market near Jack’s house.’

‘Wait, did Jack sent you those?’

‘Brah, Jack ASKED US to do this,’ said Holster with a roll of his eyes.

‘So, here are the prices of a single jam unit- counting the ingredients and the mason jar,’ said Ransom, before clicking on another Excel page, ‘and this is the price of each if one calculates the time worked, compared to what bakers and cooks make in those same cafés and suppliers.’

‘…I- I understand wanting to keep the market, and paying for the ingredients,’ hesitated Bitty, ‘but I’m still not sure I want to be paid to bake?’

‘I’m gonna give away every single one of my art pieces,’ said Lardo, doodling more ducklings. 

‘… Alright, alright, I think I get it. I’ll just put the money in the Haus funds, since I took pretty much all of it to pay for the ingredients.’

‘You put back what you took and you keep the rest,’ said Shitty. ‘Do you really want to graduate without a cent in the bank and live off of Jack’s salary?’

‘What? No! Of course not!’

‘So start making dough, my boy. That future bakery won’t finance itself, you know.’

‘Also, people respect a product if they have to pay a reasonable price for it,’ commented Holster. ‘You don’t want to ruin your reputation from the get go. Honestly I’d suggest asking for more, since it’s also fucking delicious and a secret family recipe and organic shit people are crazy about, but we’ll work our way up there over the years.’

‘Here, I got the price per unit, what everyone bought listed hockey team, then alphabetically, the total, subtracting what was borrowed to the Sin Bin fund- that makes-’

‘GOOD LORD THAT’S MORE THAN FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.’

‘Well, it WAS a shit ton of jam,’ shrugged Lardo.

‘And hard work, too,’ added Shitty. ‘So, do you accept?’

‘Well, I guess? Y’all make a lot of good points…’

‘Sweet,’ said Lardo, sending a text.

A moment later, Bitty’s cell phone vibrated with a message. His bank application signalled that someone transferred him funds- 

‘How did Jack know exactly how much to send???’

‘Told ya, Bits, it was all his idea,’ said Shitty. ‘And the Falcs have been giving him money, even hiding it in the pockets of his hockey bag, to pay for their stuff. He just wanted to make sure you were on board with it.’

Bitty didn’t know what to feel about all this, he was still insecure about pricing his jam - and his pies, cookies, muffins and other pastries, if one was to believe Ransom’s other Excel spread sheet- but the reality was that he was now five thousand dollars closer to open his own bakery, someday.

One more from this long list of prompts, completely unprompted.

Number Eighty-Five: “They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”


“Der, we got another one!”

Derek sighed, put down his fork, and glared up at the doorway where Stiles was about to appear with the mail. It was bad enough the mailman rang the doorbell in the middle of breakfast, but for another damn proposal? They should’ve just pretended they weren’t home.

“It’s from the McMullen pack in…Montana, that’s a new one,” Stiles announced as he shuffled back into the kitchen in his boxers, a large box in his hands. “And look, they got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”

Derek rolled his eyes and went back to his eggs. “Just throw it away.”

Stiles made no moves to throw it away. He set it down on the corner of the table between their plates, and Derek had to grab his coffee mug before it spilled.

“You’re not even going to open it?” He drummed his fingers on top of it excitedly. Stiles loved opening packages. “What if it’s something cool?”

“It’s never something cool.”

“That’s a lie. The last one was great.” He still looked thrilled over the badly cross-stitched Den, Sweet Den hanging over the toilet. Derek glared.

“As soon as I get Lydia here to clear out the ash, I’m taking it down and it’s going in the garbage.”

Stiles finally gave up and sat back down to his meal, leaving the box right where it was. “I can’t believe you would insult Marjorie’s hard work like that. You know she’s a powerful alpha from a powerful pack.”

The accompanying proposal letter had stated as much, a number of times.

Derek pointedly moved the box to the floor. “A powerful alpha, but not a skilled cross-stitcher.”

“Big words from the guy who buys new jeans every other week because he can’t fix a tiny tear.”

“I can, I just don’t want to. It looks tacky.” And unlike Stiles, who spent all of his college years learning to sew his clothes back together to save money, Derek could afford to buy new ones.

That, and the entire town was still kind of waiting for him to be hauled off in cuffs for murder, and wearing tattered and worn out clothes tended to make them whisper about that poor sheriff’s boy, he deserves someone nicer. They always learned shortly after that Derek was the nicer of the two when that poor sheriff’s boy turned around and cussed them out until Derek dragged him away.

Stiles scoffed. “Throwing away unopened gifts is tacky!”

“Sending proposals to an engaged man is tacky.”

“Can you really blame them for trying? I’d be all over that if I wasn’t already.” Stiles ran a hand up Derek’s thigh to punctuate his point, while taking a casual sip of his coffee as if he were doing nothing of the sort.

“I can and I will. And at the very least, we’re sending it back.”

Stiles pouted, brushing Derek’s thigh with his thumb like it would change his mind. “But what if it’s a new frying pan? We’ve been needing one of those.”

“I’ll buy you a new frying pan. We’re sending it back.”

“We might as well get something out of all this harassment.”

“How about the satisfaction of saying no to every single one?” That was enough for Derek, but apparently not for Stiles, who blinked at him imploringly. Combined with his rumpled bedhead, it almost worked.

“But I can’t make breakfast in satisfaction.”

Derek leaned over to give him a compensatory kiss. “You can barely make breakfast in a frying pan.”

Stiles’ hand dropped from his thigh and he narrowed his eyes.

“Wow, okay, see if I ever make you breakfast ever again.” Derek grinned, but that just egged him on. “Actually no, I’m going to make you shitty breakfasts all the time! In the proposal pan!”

“We don’t know it’s a pan, and we’re not keeping it even if it is.”

“Oh come on! We deserve gifts after all this bullshit.” He gestured with his fork to their life in general, which also included the large hole in the drywall from a cursed statuette an angry pack had sent last month after Derek politely returned their proposal.

Derek refused to give in. He was not going to play nice in response to insult after insult.

“Stiles, why the hell would I want to keep gifts from packs I’ve never met who are trying to bribe me away from my fiance?”

Stiles pressed his lips together to try not to smile, but he failed. The whole being engaged thing was still new, they were both still a little giddy about it.

“We should send wedding invitations to all of them,” he said gleefully, and there was his petty streak. He’d been taking all these formal proposals surprisingly well and in good humor considering they were all trying to lure Derek into bringing Hale prestige to their packs.

“No. Then they’ll just send bigger gifts to try to change my mind.”

Stiles smirked. “And I‘m going to keep all of them.”

Derek rolled his eyes but gave Stiles the kiss he was puckering up for.

Can’t Afford the Vet?

You have probably heard the phrase “if you can’t afford the vet, you can’t afford the pet” and it is true to a degree. Pet ownership doesn’t stop after the purchase of the animal and it is my personal opinion that getting a pet when you know you cannot afford vet care is selfish.

There are of course many people who fully intend on taking their pet to the vet but life happens: they lose their job, family members get sick, the pet gets hit by a car, etc. What do these people do? The absolute best thing to do is be prepared as much as possible. Get pet insurance! For something like $25 a month you can get your pet insured and it will cover most illnesses and accidents. Get a savings account. Put money away every month, as much as you can afford and use it only for vet visits. If your dog gets hit by a car or needs emergency surgery it can easily cost $5,000.00 so try to have that much in savings ready to go.

Go see the vet at least yearly. I cannot stress enough how much preventative care does exactly that: prevents illnesses. I have caught heart disease, cancer, retinal disease and more just doing annual exams. The owners had no idea their pet was ill. By taking care of these things before they got worse these owners saved thousands of dollars. Vaccines are important too, especially for puppies and kittens. A parvo vaccine may be $20, treating parvo can cost into the thousands.

Understand that you don’t have to do everything your vet recommends, but also understand the repercussions of declining. For me personally, I cannot sleep at night knowing I didn’t offer every single pet owner the very best care. Who am I to judge what people can afford? On a more selfish level, if I didn’t offer the best care and a pet died or became ill and the owner filed a board complaint, I could be fined or even lose my license.  This is true for all vets. So please understand we must offer the best care and at least give you the chance to understand what you are declining. If you do decline testing or medication, understand that this limits what we can do for you. I had an owner decline testing a lump on his cat but he became very angry when I couldn’t tell him what the lump was. We offer tests for a reason. Also understand that sometimes if you decline care your only option is euthanasia. People do not like it when vets suggest euthanasia but sometimes this truly is the only other option. It isn’t right to send an animal home to die a slow and painful death simply because the owner cannot afford treatment but refuses to do the right thing and euthanize.

Also understand that wasting time on Google and pet care forums wastes precious time and money. I can cite numerous cases where an owner spent months or more researching and trying things on their own and it was something a vet could have fixed in a single visit. By the time the pet comes to us it is too late. By all means get care advice from other trustworthy sources but if an animal is ill, the internet is not your friend.

I know that there are those out there that will say they cannot put anything in savings, they cannot afford pet insurance, and they cannot even afford basic vaccines. To you I say, don’t get a pet. It just isn’t right to take a living thing into your home knowing you cannot provide it the care it needs. If you want that connection with an animal go volunteer at a shelter and walk dogs, babysit friends pets, there are lots of other ways to have animals in your life without owning one.

hi i wanted to write a post about BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) because ive never ever seen it discussed and i would like more people to be aware of it and maybe, some other people will realize they have it and not feel so messed up like i did for a long time

BDD is a disorder that makes you hyperfocus on your appearance, a lot of times its a specific part of your appearance. you obsess over a perceived ugliness and it preoccupies a lot of your time & makes daily functioning/social interaction very hard. its linked with other anxiety disorders (specifically OCD which i also have) and sometimes is thought of as being a subset of OCD

heres some symptoms in no particular order:

  • hiding/masking yourself (needing to put on a lot of makeup, always wearing sunglasses or baggy clothes, in my case i have to wear band-aids on my face and sometimes have to wear a literal face mask)
  • intense anxiety/suicidal feelings if “mask” isnt available
  • need for reassurance about appearance, but then immediately disqualifying any compliments you receive (”theyre just saying that to appease me, its because this picture was in a certain lighting/edited, i was wearing makeup” etc)
  • self-worth largely tied to appearance and thus feeling worthless very often. as a consequence it becomes really hard to talk about symptoms because preoccupation w/ appearance is seen as “vain”
  • withdrawal/fear in close or intimate relationships for fear of being seen as ugly
  • avoiding social situations for fear of being seen as ugly
  • looking in the mirror a lot (or avoiding mirrors), analyzing appearance daily, picking at skin/face/etc
  • comparing your appearance to other peoples (excessively and constantly: “people think this person is pretty and i look nothing like them so im ugly. people have called this trait ugly and i have it so im ugly” etc)
  • missing school, work, other events bc you feel like everyone will be staring at you and judging your appearance. this contributed to me dropping out of school
  • obsession with changing appearance or “fixing” perceived defects (personally i was obsessed with skincare for a long time and was always trying to find the perfect skincare routine and spent so much money on products trying to make my acne go away)

theres probably more but yea, this is getting really long! i would really really appreciate if people reblogged this so other people can know about it, also if you have any questions or just want to talk about your experiences feel free to shoot me an ask!

✧ ( F.R.I.E.N.D.S  SENTENCE  STARTERS.

warning:  adult language and mild sexual themes. change pronouns to your liking/as you see fit!

❛ Now that I’ve untangled you, how about you do something for me? ❜
❛ All right! I just don’t see why you like it so much! ❜
❛ Babe, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well. ❜
❛ I’m fine! Hey, I’m great! I’m just, I’m just proud of us. ❜
❛ I realize that you didn’t expect to walk in and see that, but… Let me explain, okay? ❜
❛ We weren’t doing anything!  ❜
❛ Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. ❜
❛ I’m sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. ❜
❛ How could you mess this up? It’s so easy. ❜
❛ If I wanted this cake to be a disaster, I would have baked it myself! ❜
❛ I know what you’re thinking! The resemblance is uncanny! ❜
❛ It’s the longest I’ve ever spent on a computer without looking at porn. ❜
❛ You just got to accept the fact that this is going to cost you a lot of money. ❜
❛ Dude, I don’t think you should be wearing that. ❜
❛ Oh, I see. Somebody’s afraid of a little competition with the ladies? ❜
❛ If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex? ❜
❛ It’s perfect! It’s everything we’ve been looking for! ❜
❛ What? When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? ❜
❛ Why don’t you sit down… get yourself comfortable… because I have a little surprise for you. ❜
❛ Please just…just pull yourself together okay? ❜
❛ We’re not a couple- we’re definitely not a couple. ❜
❛ What, I’m not good enough for you? ❜
❛ Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that.. ❜
❛ We’re not gonna have this conversation again. ❜
❛ Oh, you are, you really do like big butts, don’t you? ❜
❛ Why can’t you be supportive? ❜
❛ You have always been jealous of me! ❜
❛ You want to know why you don’t want me to have the baby? ❜
❛ You have to have everything and I couldn’t have anything. ❜
❛ Wait a minute; you don’t think it was intentional? ❜
❛ So, does anybody have any ideas how to organize this?  ❜
❛ Uh, don’t you think that would be a little weird? ❜
❛ We were on a break! ❜
❛ For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says. ❜
❛ I’m kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise.. ❜
❛ I’m across the street, having sex right now. ❜
❛ Whoa—hey—wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? ❜
❛ What? Are you afraid you’re gonna run out? ❜
❛ Any minute now, the police will be here. ❜
❛ Well, if you’re gonna get to know him then you’d better do it now. ❜
❛ Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam! ❜
❛ If only there was something in your head to control the things you say! ❜
❛ You know what, ____? Why don’t you just put that on your answering machine! ❜
❛ Oh, I’m sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else? ❜
❛ There is no right or wrong, here. ❜
❛ You just asked me whether I wanted to go to bed with you tonight! ❜
❛ You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? ❜
❛ It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship. ❜
❛ It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship. ❜
❛ Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum? ❜
❛ I started using humor as a defense mechanism. ❜
❛ Uh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? ❜
❛ Now it’s not gonna make any sense! ❜
❛ It’s not the sweater. It’s what’s underneath the sweater that counts. ❜
❛ You’re so stupid, how are you not yet extinct? ❜
❛ I broke up with you because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you. ❜
❛ Why would you need to say “hi” to them? ❜
❛ I’m just going to wander around in the rain. ❜
❛ I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses. ❜
❛ That’s kind of a masculine name, don’t you think? ❜
❛ “Don’t count on it.” Seems like it works to me. ❜
❛ I went to the park and let a bee sting me. ❜
❛ I’m really getting tired of always sneaking around all the time. ❜
❛ I don’t even feel like I know you any more.  ❜
❛ Whatever you say, I’ll believe you. ❜
❛ All right, I’m just going to ask you this one time. ❜
❛ I’m surprised you didn’t go home wearing your lunch! ❜
❛ Someday I’ll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop! ❜
❛ Look, we’re not just messing around!  ❜
❛ I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way. ❜
❛ You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? ❜
❛ You were worried about me? You didn’t know how I was going to react? ❜
❛ Do you really think the best reason to get married is because you’re sorry? ❜
❛ I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week. ❜
❛ I can’t talk you out of this. It’s a great life. ❜
❛ I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. ❜
❛ I mean, didn’t you even run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? ❜
❛ What did you do that bad that make dad cut you off? ❜
❛ I guess it makes sense, you know, having such a terrible childhood. ❜
❛ I had a terrible childhood and I don’t do porn. ❜
❛ I always thought having a heart attack was nature’s way of telling you to die! ❜
❛ I mean… you — you are going to die, but you’re not gonna die today. ❜
❛ I mean, if you’re not careful, you may not get married at all this year. ❜
❛ Can we come in yet? We’re dying out here! ❜
❛ I didn’t know it was a big secret. ❜
❛ Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? ❜
❛ It’s a known fact that women love babies, all right? ❜
❛ I was doing great before I found out about you! ❜
❛ And it’s not like I didn’t try, but things got in the way! ❜
❛ I’ve been doing this for ten years and I haven’t gotten anywhere. ❜
❛ You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme. ❜
❛ Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?  ❜
❛ What’s the worst that could happen? ❜
❛ How do you expect me to grow if you won’t let me blow? ❜
❛ Why must everybody watch me sleep? ❜
❛ Haven’t you ever gotten beat up before? ❜
❛ It’s such a shame you can’t see what finger I’m holding up. ❜
❛ I didn’t know what I was taking responsibility for! ❜
❛ When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me. ❜
❛ I would’ve thought it was the other way around. ❜
❛ I remember I cried the night you made that up. ❜

hopeless fountain kingdom sentence starters

THE PROLOGUE

  • ❝ civil blood makes civil hands unclean. ❞
  • ❝ i am a child of a money hungry, prideful country. ❞
  • ❝ hands so bloody, tastes like honey. ❞
  • ❝ i’m finding it hard to leave ❞

100 LETTERS

  • ❝ i find myself alone at night unless i’m having sex. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t let him touch me anymore. ❞
  • ❝ i’m not something to butter up and taste when you get bored. ❞
  • ❝ i have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors. ❞
  • ❝ please don’t go away ❞
  • ❝ it’s too late. ❞
  • ❝ i can’t stop thinking that i almost gave you everything. ❞
  • ❝ i can’t stop wishing that i never gave you anything. ❞

EYES CLOSED

  • ❝ i know where to lay. ❞
  • ❝ i know what to say. ❞
  • ❝ it’s all the same. ❞
  • ❝ i know how to play. ❞
  • ❝ if i keep my eyes closed he looks just like you. ❞
  • ❝ he’ll never stay, they never do. ❞
  • ❝ if i keep my eyes closed he feels just like you. ❞
  • ❝ you’ve been replaced. ❞
  • ❝ i’m face to face with someone new. ❞
  • ❝ tell me where i went wrong. ❞
  • ❝ tell me how to move on. ❞
  • ❝ he don’t realize that i’m thinking about you. ❞

HEAVEN IN HIDING

  • ❝ no time for wishful thinking. ❞
  • ❝ i can put up one good fight. ❞
  • ❝ i can put on a show. ❞
  • ❝ don’t you see what you’re finding? ❞
  • ❝ this is heaven in hiding. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t have no time for conversation. ❞

ALONE

  • ❝ i’m still alone in my mind. ❞
  • ❝ i know you’re dying to meet me. ❞
  • ❝ baby, as soon as you meet me, you’ll wish that you never did. ❞

NOW OR NEVER

  • ❝ i don’t wanna fight right now. ❞
  • ❝ we’re running out of time. ❞
  • ❝ i’m calling it a night. ❞
  • ❝ trying to talk to a wall, but you could never tear it down for me. ❞
  • ❝ i want you to love me now or never. ❞

SORRY

  • ❝ i’ve missed your calls for months it seems. ❞
  • ❝ i still know your birthday. ❞
  • ❝ sorry that i can’t believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me. ❞
  • ❝ sorry i could be so blind, didn’t mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind. ❞
  • ❝ i run away when things are good. ❞
  • ❝ it seems i broke your heart. ❞
  • ❝ someone will love you, but someone isn’t me. ❞

GOOD MOURNING

  • ❝ there’s a place where love conquers all. ❞
  • ❝ don’t trust the moon, she’s always changing. ❞
  • ❝ she begs to be loved. ❞

LIE

  • ❝ breakfast is cold. ❞
  • ❝ i’m watching you choke down the words that you said. ❞
  • ❝ i get the message you wish i was dead. ❞
  • ❝ if you don’t love me no more, then lie. ❞

WALLS COULD TALK

  • ❝ i’m about four minutes from a heart attack. ❞
  • ❝ i think you make me a maniac. ❞
  • ❝ damn, if these walls could talk. ❞
  • ❝ shit is crazy, right? ❞
  • ❝ that ain’t your baby no more. ❞

BAD AT LOVE

  • ❝ he’s calling me a bitch again. ❞
  • ❝ i believe that we’re meant to be. ❞
  • ❝ jealousy got the best of me. ❞
  • ❝ i always make the same mistakes. ❞
  • ❝ i’m bad at love, but you can’t blame me for trying. ❞

DON’T PLAY

  • ❝ i don’t give a damn what you say to me. ❞
  • ❝ i’m moving on. ❞
  • ❝ motherfucker, don’t play with me. ❞

STRANGERS

  • ❝ she doesn’t kiss me on the mouth anymore. ❞
  • ❝ she doesn’t look me in the eyes anymore. ❞
  • ❝ we’re not lovers, we’re just strangers. ❞
  • ❝ she doesn’t call me on the phone anymore. ❞
  • ❝ i must’ve crossed a line. ❞
  • ❝ i must’ve lost my mind. ❞
  • ❝ i miss the mornings with you laying in my bed. ❞
  • ❝ i miss the thought of a forever, you and me. ❞
  • ❝ all you’re missing is my body. ❞

ANGEL ON FIRE

  • ❝ nobody seems to ask about me anymore. ❞
  • ❝ nobody seems to care about what i think. ❞
  • ❝ look at me. ❞
  • ❝ i’m faded away. ❞ 
  • ❝ you know, i used to be on fire. ❞
  • ❝ i’m standing in the ashes of who i used to be. ❞

DEVIL IN ME

  • ❝ i scream too loud if i speak my mind. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t wanna wake it up, the devil in me. ❞
  • ❝ you said i’m too much to handle. ❞
  • ❝ now i gotta wake it up, the devil in me. ❞

HOPELESS

  • ❝ boy, you make it look so easy. ❞
  • ❝ sorry, baby girl, but i can’t tonight. ❞
  • ❝ you know the truth hurts, but secrets kill. ❞
  • ❝ you and all your friends hate me. ❞
  • ❝ it’s easy to forgive. ❞

junkyardflowers  asked:

why do you hate JK Rowling? Hope this doesn't come off as rude, I'm just confused

No problem. Not a lot of people know how she has treated Scotland. In 2014 she spent £1 million keeping the country I live in tied to the proto-Fascist government in Westminster. She called those who opposed this move “death eaters” and threatened to remove all her charity money from Scotland if we didn’t vote the way she wanted.  

We’re still controlled by a government that has been investigated for crimes against humanity for their treatment of the disabled because of JK Rowling. We’re still tied to a government that wants to make the UK healthcare system MORE like the US system that is killing so many Americans. We can’t accept disabled child refugees because of JK Rowling. We still have another country’s massive (and occasionally malfunctioning) nuclear weapons being stored just outside our largest city because of JK Rowling. And to top it all off, we’re being dragged out of the EU against our will because of JK fucking Rowling.

She doesn’t give to charity to help people, but to wield power over them. I have no respect for her and I never will.

You know how there are stories all over the media now about how Scotland hated Donald Trump for years before the rest of the world joined in? Someday the rest of the world will catch up with us on JK Rowling too.

How To Fuck Hell In Its Economic Ass: A D&D Story

So I was playing D&D, good ol’ 3.5 which, is a fun system but so convoluted, math heavy, and unbalanced when you look at it for more than five minutes so when you’re making an epic level campaign you know you’re in for some bullshit. Party ends up with some stacked players where you recognize it’s nearly impossible for them to fail certain checks because they specialized so much. All worked up to be the biggest group of badasses you could find.

Then comes Alaric Vertigans, unassuming party rogue. While everyone spent vast sums of money on magic items, I made only one major magic purchase- a personal demiplane stocked with a small ecosystem, a little cottage, and a confectionery kitchen.

Now, I knew I wanted to make my character have a love of baking, the contrast of fighting gods then coming home and making cakes was too much. What I hadn’t anticipated was a system that seemed so utterly unprepared for people to be cooking. Buying ingredients and seeing what I can make… most essentials were trade goods. Almonds for 3 silver a pound, flour for three copper a pound, milk for 5 silver a pound, sugar for 5 gold a pound, eggs for some copper a dozen. Alright

Well what you can make from these things? Well looking through I saw y'know… cake, marzipan… marzipan looked easy enough so I threw myself into having my character perfect it. 2 parts almond paste, 1 part sugar, add egg white. 6 silver, 5 gold, and a couple copper got me about 3 lbs of marzipan which looking at the sheet I could sell for about 3 gold each. Taking it at a loss until I realized that 3 gold per ounce.

Ingredients by the pound. Product by the ounce. 5 gold, 3 silver, 2 copper in ingredients that sells for 144 gold a batch.

So I immediately ser to work every rest we had, making marzipan like a madman, perfecting it until I could well enough claim having masterwork marzipan which I’m told I could sell then for 5 gold an ounce (240 gold a batch). Sweets like a religious epiphany. First town we come to I am determined to unload.

First town we come to is the Iron City of Dis, which is complicated in of itself. But I start talking up this marzipan, free samples, generating hype and then I go to confectioners, small shops and I unload everything I can like it’s an import of fidget spinners. We had entered hell, generated a new craze and then when they all realized that everyone and their mother already had bought marzipan from me the market bubble burst.

Devils and monsters bought marzipan on credit, they owed me, Alaric Vertigans the great marzipan baron of hell. We would run into demons trying to get people to make deals and offering marzipan to persuade people. The wicked throngs would curse my name as their city bore the weight of their debt which they had incurred with their mad rush on marzipan.

After that point I was told that nobody ever wanted more marzipan, the market was flooded. I played all my cards but damnit I think I won.

In short, make lots and lots of marzipan. Devils love marzipan.

Again

Originally posted by natpekis

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 7,501 (ok kinda sorry)

Warnings: angst!, a tiny bit of violence, swear words, alcohol

Summary: Being Bucky’s best friend (after Steve of course) gets a lot of perks - but being in love with him WHILE being his best friend means that your adoration must be kept a secret. That also means you have to silently endure every single encounter with women he has whether he tells you or you see it for yourself.

A/N: So this one shot is based on the Amy Shark song “Adore You” (she speaks to me on so many levels!) and I just really wanted a Bucky fic for it because he’d be absolutely clueless to someone adoring him like this…I also kind of skipped over the “oh look at him I’m in love with him” fluffy stuff and I just focused on the couple of days leading up to the point reader can’t take it anymore. I like the angst - it fuels me *evil laugh*

Y/F/I = Your First Initial


I’m just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm

I’m just gonna walk home kicking stones at parked cars

But I had a great night ‘cause you kept rubbing against my arm

I’m just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm


You hugged Wanda and Nat, giving small waves to the boys, before turning to Bucky. 

“Hey B, I’m going to head back to the tower. The mission took a bigger toll on me than I thought.” You made a show of rubbing your neck, hoping the sadness in your eyes would be mistaken for exhaustion.

Bucky turned away from the young, curvy brunette tucked under his arm, his smile fading as his eyes scanned over you with concern. He didn’t move away from her, nor did you move any closer, instead you gripped the strap of your bag hard, until your knuckles were white, in an effort to ignore the pain radiating through your chest.

“Are you sure? Did you want me to come with you?”

You gave serious thought to saying yes, knowing he’d probably give the woman a kiss and get her phone number before following you out of the bar, talking your ear off about how she was this and that. All the while, you would be fighting the anger and nausea bubbling up your throat, fighting back the urge to scream at him to shut up about her and every other woman, just fighting to keep your face neutral as you listened to the love of your life pine after any and every other woman but you.

Keep reading

Tips For A Broke Hoe✨

1. Download your bank’s app onto your phone so you can check your account balance and transactions. This can help prevent you from spending too much money, keep track of what you’re buying and how often, and can also catch identity and bank theives early so you don’t lose all your money.
2. Get a job with a place you shop at frequently. A majority of retail companies give their employees some generous discounts (for example I work at Kohls and we get 15% normally, plus frequent 20/20/15% stacked friends and familu discounts, plus frequent 35% off everything discounts, AND employees can stack coupons and Kohl’s cash when other customers can’t).
3. COUPONS HOE!!! Clip coupons from paper ads, download RetailMeNot, and sign up for the free Rewards programs with your fav stores to get updates on sales and additional coupons.
4. Try to avoid vending machines and eating out. This’ll help you stop eating junk food as much, and save you some dough.
5. If you’re dissatisfied with a product (especially makeup), EMAIL THE COMPANY. They will typically compensate you with a refund, or a coupon, or even a free alternative product.
6. Keep your receipts for expensive items or items that you aren’t too sure about, and familiarize yourself with that store’s return policy.
7. Take advantage of student discounts. A lot of fast food places and clothing stores aaccept discounts with your student ID.
8. Cheap But Amazing Makeup Brands: MAKEUP REVOLUTION, NYX, ELF, Essence, Maybelline, Covergirl, and Loreal Paris (all available at Ulta, Target, Walmart, or your local pharmacy)
9. Talk to your bank about setting up a Certificate of Deposit (CD). This is a particular savings account that when you invest your money, it accumulates mote interest over a set amount of time, so when yhat time is up you have more money than what you started with. Be careful with these though, because interest rates can vary, and if you withdraw any money from your CD before the set time is up, you can lose your interest or even your original funds. This is good for saving up bulk amounts of money for college, cars, or a home.
10. Set up budgets for each week/month/year to regulate your spending. Categorize your money imto things like “Food,” “Clothes,” “Gas,” “Personal Care,” “Bills,” etc.
11. Order water at restaurants. At fast food places, ask for a water cup. Water is ALWAYS free, and it’s much healthier for you than soft drinks.
12. Unplug your chargers/cords when you arent using that shit to save on your electricity bill.
13. Shop👏at👏the👏Goodwill👏. They have actual cute, retro shit for way cheaper than your typical bougie places.
14. A lot of times you can get FREE SHIT by filling out surveys on your reciepts after shopping somewhere. Ulta enters you into a lottery to win a $500 gift card, Kohl’s gets you more coupons, etc.
15. Set aside $5 every week. You’ll save over $200 by the end of the year to treat yourself with.
16. Sluggbooks.com is AMAZING for buying college textbooks. It compares prices and rental fees among different websites and companies to help you get the best deal.
17. RENT👏YOUR👏TEXTBOOKS👏ITS👏SO👏MUCH👏CHEAPER👏
18. Take advantage of free concerts, parks, festivals, etc as somethin to do. Who said you gotta spend money to have fun?
19. Sell, return, or donate shit you don’t need or want. Liking everything you have (clothes, makeup, appliances, etc) is gonna keep you organized and simple, and gives you an idea of what you want/need so you go into a store without splurging on even more shit you don’t need (I know its a little confusing, but trust me your life will be so much easier)
20. I know this should be obvious, but have a good work ethic. You’re more likely to get raises and promotions. Every single is a potential reference, and you never know when you’ll be in a pinch for money and may need that job back temporarily.
21. Don’t waste all of your money on stupid shit like drugs or alcohol; its expensive and toxic for your beautiful body anyway.
22. Keep your bills, receipts, taxes, insurance policies, and other important personal information in the same organized place (I recommend a labelled file cabinent or binder). Financial organization is 🔑
23. Keep a journal of everything you buy & how much you spent in a month. At the end of each month, review and assess what were necessary buys and what you can cut down on next month.
24. If you’re a college student, a lot of schools have a free gym membership. Use it.

Thats all for now, hoes💎
Spidey’s Got a Girlfriend?!

“I promise I’ll be there,” Peter spoke, and Tony over heard him on the phone. Tony leaned against the door frame to his office where Peter stood taking his phone call.

“Hey, I apologized for last time… I know… I can’t wait… I-I love you too. Bye” Peter hung up, a smile tugging at his lips. The boy looked absolutely love sick, it made Tony smile a little.

“Was that your girlfriend?” Tony asked as he walked in.

“Ah! Mr. Stark, how long were you right there?” Peter whirled around to look at Tony. Tony rose an eyebrow, his smile only growing.

“Not long. Tell me about the girl,” Tony sauntered into his office and sat behind his desk. Peter was absolutely red in the face and obviously looking for any way out of this conversation.

“What girl?” Peter played dumb.

“Come on, kid. You’ve got to be a better liar than that to fool me… unless it’s not a girl, which is fine. Tell me about them.”

Peter sighed and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of Tony’s desk. He was still obviously blushing, “She’s from my school, and we’ve been dating for a while.”

“How long?”

“Six months.”

“Jesus, I don’t think I had a relationship that lasted longer than six days when I was your age. How do you do it?” Tony say up, suddenly fascinated by the conversation. He thought maybe this was a two week thing, something casual, and the ‘I love you’ that was exchanged was premature and naïve. However after learning the time frame of the relationship he had to rethink that; maybe it was sincere.

“She’s really great,” Peter mumbled, still obviously embarrassed.

“Well where are you taking this great girl? And why haven’t I met her? Does your Aunt know about her?”

“Yeah Aunt May knows and we’re going to the art museum. She likes to make fun of the classics. And I guess you haven’t met her because I didn’t think you wanted to. ”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I dunno, you’re busy, I guess. And it’s just a normal thing, not a super hero thing.”

Tony suddenly felt kind of bad about that. He wanted to know these things, if only because he was nosey. At that moment, he decided the previous matters on which this meeting was called on was no longer important. He wanted to know all about Peter’s girlfriend, and this date they were supposed to be having. This was kind of big. First loves were important right? People married their high school sweet hearts all the time. Sure those marriages often ended in divorce but sometimes they don’t. Tony realized there was so much wisdom he needed to share with Peter. Were they being safe, taking the proper precautions so they didn’t ruin their future with a baby?!

“Okay, kid,” Tony inhaled sharply, trying to put his spiraling thoughts to rest, “Tell me all about this girl.”

Peter eventually had to leave to go on his date, but Tony just wasn’t satisfied with simply hearing about the girl. So he called in someone who understood the concept of trusting no one and treating everyone like they’re suspicious.

“Hey Natasha,” he spoke on the phone.

“What, Stark?”

“So Underoos has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, her name is Y/N.”

“You already searched her up?”

“No Peter told me about her, the time you asked me to keep an eye on him while you were in Mumbai.”

“He just told you about her?!”

“He needed advice on what kind of flowers to get her. If it makes you feel better, I also did some background checks and things like that on her. She’s an average student, she’s a part of few little clubs, most notably she’s on the newspaper. She’s got some award winning articles too. I think she wants to be a journalist.”

“They’ve been together six months Natasha.”

“I know, tonight is there six month anniversary. They’re going to a couple of museums. They’re at the art museum right now.”

“… Are you trailing them?”

“Of course I am. This Y/N girl is great for him, I can’t let him screw it up.”

Tony was quiet for a beat, “I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and Natasha watched from far off  at the two teens. They held hands as they walked through the art museum. She pointed at a painting and said something that made Peter laugh. Tony put in an ear piece that allowed him to hear what the two was saying.

“I’m just saying, Daphne turned into a fucking tree,” Y/N laughed, “Ancient Greek mythology is fucked up.”

“She swears a lot,” Tony grumbled, he looked over to Natasha to see her smiling a little, “Natasha!” he chastised.

“What? It’s kind of funny.”

The couple kept walking. Y/N rested her head on Peter’s shoulder as they went to the next painting. It was of Sappho and her many lovers. Y/N read the description in front of the painting aloud.

“ Sappho and a close friend, huh?” she said sarcastically.

“Mmhm, just two gals being pals,” Peter agreed.

“Oh yeah, because I kiss my girl friends on the mouth all the time. No homo, dude.”

“Definitely not. Sappho was just a woman who was close friends with a lot of other women.”

“Yeah, nothing gay about that, dude. She totally wasn’t a lesbian.”

“Oh no definitely not.”

They were both starting to laugh, because the picture in front of them was so blatantly gay. Y/N continued on about how historians will go to any lengths to make things heterosexual. Natasha was trying to keep it together and not outright laugh at the things Y/N said. Tony was trying very hard not to instantly like Y/N, because he didn’t even know this girl, but he couldn’t help but to smile every time Peter laughed.  Peter was just a kid in love with her, and he so rarely embraced being a kid. He was trying to be more mature so he could be a better super hero, but these precious moments of youth were passing him by. He couldn’t help but to think Y/N was good for him. Y/N and Peter got to a particular sculpture in which she tried to mimic the pose the statue was in. It was admittedly a complete failure, but Peter tried to. He was no closer to matching the pose than she was.  They laughed at their mutual failure and continued on. They eventually left the art museum and got lunch together.

“She’s a good kid,” Natasha assured as they sat with their coffee al fresco across the street from the restaurant the two of you went in to.

“Well I didn’t think she’d be bad… just maybe not right for Peter. He’s a sweet kid, and people like to crush kindness when they find it.”

“This girl has been with him for six months, and do you know how many times Peter has cancelled plans with her to go save someone in need. She doesn’t even know he’s Spider-Man. She just trusts that whatever he’s doing is important… so if anyone is going to get hurt in all of this… it’s probably her.”

“How many times has he cancelled.”

“14,” Natasha over articulated then took a sip of her coffee.

“Jesus,” Tony sighed.

“Yep, and she’s still here.”

“He should tell her.”

“I think so too, but he’ll only take so much advice from me. But you know how much being a superhero can strain on a relationship, maybe he’d take the advice better from you.”

Tony turned his head and watched as Y/N pulled out a box from her purse. He listened in on their conversation.

“I know we both agreed not to get each other presents until our year anniversary, but I saw this and I thought of you,” Y/N spoke.

Peter went to speak, obviously about to chastise her for getting him a gift but she held up a hand to stop him.

“I didn’t spend a dime on it.”

Peter opened the box and a smile took over his face. It was a super old polaroid camera that 1977 would soon be calling for.

“You know now that I think about it… that’s probably worth a lot of money,” she spoke offhandedly, “But I don’t use it anymore, and I know you’ve been collecting cameras so…just promise me you won’t sell it.” she shrugged again. Tony could tell she was trying to seem casual about the gift, but she’d probably spent days trying to figure out what to get Peter.

“Of course I’m not going to sell it. How did you just have this?”

“It was a gift from my grandma,” she sighed, Peter motioned to give it back, “No, you keep it. I never use it, and my grandma would have wanted someone to use that camera, and love it the way you love the rest of your cameras.”

“… I will,” he gave her a soft smile. He put the camera’s strap around his neck. He then reached into his own pocket to get a small box.

“Looks like neither of us can follow directions,” Peter smiled ruefully as he slid the box to her.

“God dammit, Parker. I wanted to be the master gift giver this time,” she joked as she took the box. She undid the bow around it and opened the box. She looked up at him, confused by the content of the box, or rather surprised.

“Pete.”

“It’s a uh… a promise ring,” Peter was red again, “Not to get too intense or anything… it’s just that I know it bothers you that I cancel a lot… even though you don’t say anything about it. I just wanted to show you that I really do want to keep you forever.”

“Oh god that’s so sweet, I’m gonna throw up,” Natasha groaned.

“Jeez, who raised this kid.” Tony complained looking away from the scene he thought to be cringe worthy, because of course that was too much for a high school relationship. It was entirely too much.

“His aunt is a hopeless romantic.” Natasha explained.

“You’re gonna make me cry, Pete,” Y/N spoke and as she did she seemed to already be dabbing tears from her eyes.

“Oh wow, she’s into it,” Tony said surprised by the turn of events. Peter pulled his own ring on as Y/N put on hers. Y/N leaned over the table and kissed Peter. It wasn’t one of those long winded kisses that Rom-Coms glorify, it was sweet and simple.

“Ew this is too sweet. I think I’m getting diabetes just from watching it,” Tony complained but he didn’t look away. As Y/N sat back on her side of the booth, Peter put his camera up and snapped a picture of her.

“Pete,” she complained.

“I want to remember this moment forever,” He explained as he pulled the picture from the little slot and shook it absently.

“Yeah but I’ve still got tears in my eyes,” she laughed a little. Peter smiled as he looked down at the slowly forming picture.

“You look beautiful,” Peter assured turning the picture toward her.

“We’ve got another museum to go to, silly boy,” she reminded, “We can’t spend forever here.”

Tony came back to himself at her words. He and Natasha should go. They should allow Peter the youthful innocence of his first love without prying eyes.

~Mod Lillian

College au sentence starters

“I found your jeans in my dorm again?”

“I think this is it,my cause of death is going to be finals…”

“What are you majoring in?”

“Listen,I just got back from my four months of finding myself and have no idea what’s going on.”

“I could just take a year off… And then another and another…”

“Do you have change for the vending machine?”

“Jokes on you,I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Who even makes flash cards? What do they even do?”

“Hahaha,looks like I’m not eating tonight… Just spent what little money I had on notebooks.”

“Dude,it’s a frat party. Who doesn’t go to frat parties?”

“People who need to study tend not to party.”

“I found a kid sleeping under a table in the library.”

“Guess who fell asleep on the kitchen counter again.”

“So…you’re my room mate?”

“It looks like you packed your whole house…”

“I bet your parents go through some really intense empty nest syndrome,huh?”

“Dude,I don’t even know what I’m studying for anymore.”

“Who fucking moved my textbooks!”

“I saw someone watching hardcore porn during psychology today…”

“Listen,I wasn’t even awake in class,I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“One more year and I’m done.”

“When you said you had notes I thought you meant what was taught today…. Not a very descriptive critic of the professor’s eyebrows.”