i spent like 2 days on this i cant believe im done ;;

3 acts of malicious compliance in one project rewarded with 4 days of leave fully paid.

This is quite long sorry but I feel it needs the back story to understand the whole thing.

tl;dr - General manager makes requests, I try to get him to see the downsides. He insists, I comply and get a nice few days off.

I used to work for a mining company as a Geologist. I left and a few years later was employed by them again but in a very different role dealing mostly with compliance based stuff.

We had a new project coming up which meant a lot of data would be coming in daily and at some point we would be required to process all that data. The data was being logged into an excel spreadsheet which was probably the quickest and easiest way to do it for the data we needed to capture. It did however introduce a larger margin of human error. The benefit was that errors could be checked later in the corporate office rather than taking up time in the field when people were already working 12 hour shifts and we were paying contractors by the hour. In addition to this they updated my contract to a fieldwork based employee rather than office based, this allowed them to send me out into the field for several weeks at a time without any change in pay. It also had a few other conditions which come into play later.

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Brown Piano

Pairing: Reader x Pianist!Yoongi

Genre: Fluff (?), pianist AU

Warning: Mention of abuse, trauma from abuse

Status: Finished

!Do not repost!

“You’re not going to get up?” You asked softly, staring at your roomate that was lying on his bed, awake, but he refused. You let out a sigh, wondering if he was going to live like that for the rest of his life. “Come on, Yoongi, shouldn’t you at least eat something?”

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Does anyone else remember this pop song from around 2008?

by reddit user hartijay

I used to work on my university campus radio station in college. We used to talk about current events around the school, any news around the surrounding town, and played requested songs for students, something our school surprisingly allowed. I remember a very weird couple of months where students who tuned into the show constantly requested a song called “See You After, Babe”, a pop song by some one-hit-wonder group called Symmetry Icon, the dumbest name for a band I’ve ever heard. But that song was huge around October and November of 2008. As one of the campus radio’s DJs, I had to play that song over like a hundred times in two months. I heard it everywhere, in malls, gas stations, on real radio stations, and I think even on MTV.

Something was weird about that song, but I couldn’t remember exactly what. I tried Googling the song and band, but nothing came up in the results for either. Not even YouTube had a single clip of the song.

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wanna chat? pt.25

on ao3
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

alright!!! so this chapter is a little special. its a contest!!!!

for literally no reason at all, i decided to have a little fun with this chapter. in this chapter, there are a bunch of pop song references. the majority are from the early 2000s (before 2010, tho there may be one or two from 2011 or 12) and one is from the 90s. whoever can list the most references wins a drabble/short fic of their choice from me!

to enter, submit a list of all the songs that were referenced in this chapter (or the ones you could find!!)

shoot me an ask if you have any questions~!

mental support = nino, ebony = alya, draco = adrien, vampire = alya

i hope you enjoy!


17:20

mental support: a reminder that i hate all of you

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: u love u s

mental support: i can t believe you just made me listen to all of that
what the fuck

draco malfoy: Now You Know

mental support: i wish i didnt

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We need to talk about Mimes

I’ve seen so many posts about clown care, but there are so much more misconceptions about Mimes that people need to know about!!

First, Mimes are considered an EXOTIC pet, make sure your vet care specializes in exotic pets. Mimes were created through selective breeding, and therefore a domestic breed, it cannot thrive in the wild! Their quiet and timid nature makes it seem like its a perfect first-clown-owner pet, but it really isnt!  jocks, jesters and even the smaller Mardi Gras breed are better first time pets. while Mimes, clowns, and Harlequins are for more experienced caretakers.

Make sure you feed your mime well, they need at least a handful of escargot a day and a glass of wine, ONLY if its a pure bread, more locally bread Mimes have come to like more local foods and home brewed beverages. Please check if your Mime is a pure bread, or give them plenty of options to find out what they like.

Mimes do very well on their own, usually more than one is not needed. but i suggest not having an outdoor enclosure for them. while they do like their personal space to perform, keeping them alone and especially outside could cause your Mime to run away, seeking some one to perform to. ive seen so many instances where people try to “release” their mime or let it be a wandering mime! i blame movies and shows for this, but Mimes are not wild creatures! they cant breed with other clowns and their quietness can make them easy prey since they can not make any noise to alert for help! Keeping your Mime inside the house is a better idea, since they feel safe with the presence of other people. My Mime is very house broken, and i only need to clean hand prints and smudges off the walls every once in awhile. Its very cute to come home at the end of the day to see a very excited Mime that had missed you! 

They get along with other animals, but the way they interact with their own breed is tricky, Mimes are very difficult to sex, their markings and stripes are similar with all their genders. They all interact with each gender differently, while some can get along, some can be rather territorial. Mime breeders have to be very careful. Plus, their litters are small, up to 1-2 mimelings, BUT they can mate multiple times a mating season, and their children can mature very quickly and leave the nest within months. 

That being said, make sure your Mime can preform for you for at least 1-2 hours a day, with a public performance once every 1-2 weeks. it doesnt have to be that big of a crowd, from a small neighborhood or family gathering to going downtown, your mime will be happy if its more than one person. When taking your Mime outside to perform, do not use a leash, since it can hinder its performance. BUT since theyre not leashed, you have to keep a very close eye on your Mime, for they can be quick and swift, while being very quiet. Make sure you stay close, but give them enough space, that way they can feel independent.

when your Mime preforms for you, you dont really need to pay too much attention, and can multi task if need be. they dont seem to mind, though they do seem happier when you pay attention to them. My Mime seems to preform unprompted! i’ll be watching tv or on my laptop when they get in front of me and start doing a skit! Sometimes though, they do seem to enjoy sitting and watching you work or doing daily tasks. when you really get a bond with your Mime, it seems that they will even mimic what your doing next to you! this is a sign of a healthy, happy mime, they only do those things when they feel the safest! so youre doing something right when that happens, please do not be annoyed at them.

and lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, please, PLEASE learn Mime language! they dont speak English, (or even French for that matter,) and dont speak any “ASL” or other sign language that we humans created. ive seen so many people frustrated with their Mime, thinking that their Mime is “refusing” to communicate with them, when in reality they are not getting the cues and learning THEIR language. books like “How to read Mime” and things like that can be found easily online, and the cues are very easy to understand. so many skip this step thinking that Mimes are an easy pet! Not only does their body language let you know when basic needs are needed to be met, but also when theyre trying to interact with you! Mimes want to interact with you in any way that they can! it is truly considered an honor when a Mime tries to make you a part of their performance, its a sign of deep trust that can hurt deeply if broken. if a Mime pretends to lasso me you BEST BELIEVE I’m gonna pretend in being pull towards them! from simple things like that, to pretending to free them from their little box, they simply love it. It doesnt even have to be done very well, Mimes know youre not an expert like themselves, but they get very happy to know that youre trying. please remember this!

LOVE YOURE MIME AND YOUR MIME WILL LOVE YOU BACK!

some headcanons

ok so i keep getting random thoughts about dendy and i dont post enough for people to talk to me lmao so im just gonna put them h e r e. some are a little au-ish, im totally open minded towards whatever happens in canon though

  • first off dendy doesnt watch most childrens tv shows, she likes documentaries better (BUT ko manages to get her to watch some cartoons and anime and actual kid stuff with him sometimes)
  • dendy = morning person. probably wakes up at 5am
  • despite acknowledging their nutritious benefits and detrimental role in any well balanced diet, dendy hates vegetables (she would never admit it out loud). she eventually learns to like celery when she realizes you can put peanut butter on it.
  • can lowkey relate to rad in terms of maintaining an aloof image. she can read him like a book and would like to get to know him better. also i feel like rad could really open up to her and they could make a genuine connection?? maybe someday have that older/younger sibling relationship that enid and ko have. im here for that parallel.
  • pls just imagine rad carrying dendy on his shoulders khjhfdj
  • dendy sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night and hops out of bed with a new idea. she will work until morning if she has to.
  • somewhat canon from the mobile app, but dendy skips school on occasion. shes already super smart and would rather dedicate her time to her projects than sit in a stuffy room all day. not getting to see KO is the only bad part about it.
  • hates public speaking in front of peers. she could present something to adults and be fine, but shes afraid of making a mistake in front of people like her classmates
  • ok i know everyone loves dendy in her little suit and i do too but picture this: a cute sundress with frogs on them. possibly a night gown. idk i just want to see her in a dress ugh itd be so cute
  • totally has a secret lab (its her garage. she tricked it out to be like a lab)
  • ko discovers said secret lab and it plays out almost exactly like an episode of dexters laboratory
  • something is strange about dendy’s parents. either they are unable to convey their emotions to her or there is a gap in communication between parent and child, something getting lost in translation, etc. they may be physically absent to some degree.
  • her classmates dont know anything about her except that shes sort of weird. when thats your only impression of someone, you generally dont hang out with them. they dont hate her but shes never tried to get to know any of them, so theyve never done vice versa
  • SOMETIMES DENDY GETS SO EXCITED TO NERD RAMBLE THAT SHE WILL OCCASIONALLY HIJACK THE TEACHERS LESSON AND JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE GETS CUT OFF
  • totally keeps a diary daily journal
  • wears long sleeves and long pants to protect her skin from the sun
  • an excellent swimmer (kappa)

um ok like i care a lot about her friendship with ko actually so lets put a bunch of those hcs here as well

  • ko totally tries to get dendy to interact with more of their classmates because he wants them to know how cool she is. its too much at first and dendy gets upset, but once ko backs off a bit, she tries to implement what he says and starts making real bonds with people. albeit some awkward starts
  • ko is quick to name dendy his best friend. it takes maybe a few weeks of hanging out for him to realize and has never regretted it one bit. however, she doesnt think he feels that way because she has never heard him say it out loud and believes he could enjoy his time better when spent with other people.
  • they dont actually hang out too often at first because dendy feels like somewhat of an intruder into his life. it takes a while for her to open up about it, but ko is good at getting people to speak whats on their minds (cough enid cough)
  • ko discovers her secret lab and it plays out almost exactly like an episode of dexters laboratory
  • you know those friends who can make anything funny, just because it’s them? thats them. thats their relationship
  • dendy is a ravenclaw and ko is a hufflepuff (possiby gryffindor) and im soRRY IM JUST HERE FOR LITERARY FOILS AND OPPOSING DYNAMICS BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY CLOSE
  • dendy helps ko with math and science. hes average on his own but she helps him get A’s on all his assignments.
  • their classmates tease her because everyone thinks she had a crush on KO. in high school it is revealed that it was really the other way around. would she ever reciprocate hhHhHMMM IDK MAN,
  • this could be sort of au-ish, but i would be down for an arc where dendy becomes an apprentice to a villain. maybe boxmore, but i would almost rather see her going under the tutelage of a different villain. dendy doesnt really see whats wrong with what shes doing and thinks things should stay the same (like keeping professional + personal life seperate), but ko is conflicted because his best friend has allied with the one thing he swears to defeat (villainy and evil)
  • HEAVY ANGST VERSION OF AU– THINGS DONT GET BETTER AND SOMETHING HAPPENS THAT THEY CANT TAKE BACK
  • dendy and ko dont go to the same college but they keep in touch. some friends come and go, but some friends are lifelong and will stay with you from childhood to the day you die. theyre number 2.
  • being friends with ko teaches dendy how to connect emotionally with other people, as well as the value of goofing off. u dont always gotta be so serious
  • being friends with ko also teaches dendy that she really really likes hugs, both giving them and receiving. the first time she hugged anyone besides her parents was the night ko got upset and the full weight of his missing dad hit him in the feels. he asked her for a hug and cried/laughed while trying to explain how to give him one
  • dendy’s countless efforts towards connecting with her classmates inspire ko– someday, her sentences stop being awkward and she winds up with some pretty great friends. watching her slowly come out of her shell teaches ko that failure is okay sometimes. a true hero is defined not by their falls but how they pick themselves up afterwards.
Don’t Make a Sound

Title: Don’t Make a Sound
Author: @hips-before-hands1987
Rating: MSR/NC-17
Timeline: December 2007 
Notes: This one is for @leiascully‘s challenge Sound. Listen, I have read some pretty nasty smut in my day but this is by far the most salacious thing I’ve ever written. I may burst into flames if I go to mass this Christmas. I wrote it in about an hour and no beta was used. Feedback is always welcome! Thanks guys :)

—-     —–     —–

Scully could not believe that her mother had talked her into hosting Christmas at her and Mulder’s home. The two of them had spent Thanksgiving with Maggie when she announced that she was simply too tired to put on a full Christmas including Bill’s family too.

“Your place is big enough Dana, you and Fox should host.”

Mulder had gone dead quite looking towards Scully with a furrowed brow.

“I… I don’t know, Mom. Bill has made it perfectly clear that he disapproves of my life and he’s never been very respectful of the relationship I share with Mulder and…”

“We’ll do it” Mulder cut her off abruptly.

“WONDERFUL!” Maggie announced. I will call Bill tomorrow with the plans. “Now, hand me those plates and I will start to clean up.”

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'Stay with me? Forever.' - (sad) Michael Clifford imagine

WARNING! INCLUDES SELF HARM. so if you dont like reading about it/get triggered easily you might as well keep scrolling :)

Requested: yes

also, im sorry if there is any typo, i wrote this on my phone. Im here for you if you need any help, i love you x

I searched for my keys in my bag, as i found them i unlocked the front door to my shared flat. I sighed as i set down my bag and shut the door behind me. I was exhausted. I had failed 2 of my 6 finals, which I’ve spent weeks studying for, my mom then started screaming at me for it, anything else? I walked over to our shared bathroom’s mirror and took my hair out of its ponytail, leaving it fall to its natural waves. Insecurities washing me over. Why had Michael chose me if he could have had any girl he wanted? ‘I’m pretty sure he just pitied you’ I thought to myself. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. it was a text from Michael.


Mikey <3: I’m sorry babe, I’m a few minutes late. I’ll make it up to you later. Love you xx

Great. Michael wasn’t supposed to be around until late. I had been hoping he would come home and made me feel better. My stomach was begging me to get something in my system. 'Why are you even hungry? Can’t you see how fat you are? Ew’ I cringed at my own thought. I walked over to my dresser to take out one of Michaels band tees but once again, I caught myself staring at my reflection in now the long mirror. And yes, my thoughts were right, I was fat. all i could see was fat thighs, hanging gut and even fat arms. I felt a salty tear streaming down my cheek then another one, and another one. They wouldn’t stop now. I tried to stop them, but it wouldn’t work.

I went back to the bathroom and saw it. Michaels razor. No. Not again. I had been clean since I started dating Michael and I couldn’t throw it all away. Anyways, my thoughts took over me and I sliced my skin with it, watching as the blood spilled all over my arm and the bathroom’s sink, feeling my pain leaving, replacing it with sourness. A little cut here, a little cut there.. No one would notice. I washed my arm with cold water for it to stop bleeding and went back to the drawer. There was no way I would be wearing that short sleeves now. I tried putting a fake smile on, being successful at it. I had lot of practice on it, based on my past. Just after that, I heard the front door open. I quickly picked up a book from my night stand trying to look busy with it and laid down on my side of the bed. I heard footsteps climbing up the stairs, which I assumed they where Michaels. I was right. just then Michaels presence evaded the room.
'Hi Mi-’
'Don’t’ he cut me off
'Wha-?’
'How could you?’ He asked, turning around, his bloodshot eyes staring at me. Sadness and anger filling them.
'How could I what?’ I said as calmly as I could, standing up. Tears began forming in my eyes again.
'Don’t try to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, its all over twitter, Y/N’ he said
’Michael I really don’t know wha-’. I stopped talking when he handled his phone to me. Which was showing some tweet with a picture of me and Ashton “kissing” which was obviously photoshopped I mean, don’t get me wrong he’s funny and cute but he’s one of my boyfriend’s best friends.
'Thats-’
'REAL YES, I FUCKING KNOW Y/N’ he cut me off. Shouting. I’ve never seen this side of Michael. Of course, we had other fights before. But it wouldn’t get to the point where he shouts at me. I was done with staying calm by this point.
'CANT YOU FUCKING SEE THAT’S PHOTOSHOP MICHAEL?! AND IF I BELIEVED IN EVERY SINGLE RUMOUR ABOUT YOU THEN WE WOULD HAVE THIS FIGHT EVERY FUCKING DAY.’ I shouted back to him. If he shouted then don’t expect me to just stand there like an idiot. His facial expressions softened realizing I was right.
'Y/N, i-’
'Save it Michael’ I said as I stormed coldly past him. Shutting the bathroom door behind me and locking it. I let myself fall down to the floor grabbing Michaels razor again. i was still in my uniforms skirt, so I slide the razor along my thigh feeling the cold metal slice my skin, making it bleed. I could hear Michael on the other side of the door begging for entrance. Everything was going shit today. School was shit, fine. I was expecting my loving boyfriend to come back home so he could make me feel better, but instead, some fucking rumor had to ruin it.

I slide it again, my tears and blood mixing together. Suddenly Michael flung the door open. I could hear him gasp and screaming my name. He quickly grabbed the towel and bent down next to me, taking the razor away from me and pulling me on his lap with his arms around me.

'I’m so sorry baby I didn’t meant to scream at you nor make you feel bad. I’m so sorry.’ He said crying while carefully cleaning my cuts. I looked up at him and saw that he was truly sorry.
He just pulled me into his chest and continued sobbing. I whispered a shaky 'I love you’ after placing a soft peck on his chest.
'I love you too’
He said pressing me closer to him, making me whimper in pain because of him pressing my arms to his stomach.
'I’m sorry are you.. Wait’
He took my arms out and lifted my sleeves up, revealing my cuts I’ve done before he came home.
'oh my gosh.. Is this all because of me?’ he asked, worried and shocked. even more tears evading his eyes.
'No. I really had a bad day at school, I failed 2 of my finals and couldn’t focus on my other classes and then I fought with my mum for absolutely no reason and then I was waiting for you to come home which is not your fault to come home late and-’ I was cut off by Michaels lips on mine. He kissed me passionately and delicate.
'Stop stressing. It won’t take you anywhere. Im sorry’ He whispered. I started to feel a little bit sleepy, but I didn’t wanted to leave him alone.
'Come on, let’s take you to bed’ he said, noticing my tiredness.
He picked me up bridal style, I wrapped my arms loosely over his neck and he walked over to my side of the bed, placing me carefully on the bed. I turned to my side, watching every movement he did. I soon felt the mattress sink on the other end, and soon I felt 2 strong arms wrapped around my waist. He placed his head on my shoulder. After some short kisses on my neck he spoke.
'Y/N?’
'Yes Mikey?’
'I just wanted you to know that you are beautiful and I will help you get through everything and I’ll be there if you need me to talk.’
'Thank you. baby’
He brought me even closer, if that was even possible and started to draw figures with his thumb on my hip bone.
'Y/N?’
'Yes babe?’
'Stay with me? Like, forever?’
'Forever.’