i spend too much time on the internet for my own good

I’ve been contemplating for several days something, and I’ve been trying to distill it into meaning, and put nice little bullet points on how this relates to things that have been bugging me about some common Discourses I’ve been seeing, but at the end, I only really have a story. So here, have a story.

About ten years ago, sometime in the eventful 2006-2007 George W. Bush-ruled hellscape of my identity development, I was just starting to figure out how I felt about my conservative upbringing (not great) and whether I was some brand of queer (probably, but too scared to think about what brand for too long). I was working as a server at a popular Italian-inspired sit-down restaurant that was the closest thing my tiny South Carolinian town had to “fancy” at the time but isn’t really fancy at all.

The host brought a party of four men to one of my tables. It was hard to tell their ages, but my guess is they were teenagers or in their early 20s in the 1980s. Mid-40s, at the time. It was standard to ask if anyone at the table was celebrating anything, so I did. They said they were business partners celebrating a great business deal and would like a bottle of wine.

It was a fairly busy night so I didn’t have a LOT of time to spend at their table, but they were nice guys. They were polite and friendly to me, they didn’t hit on me (as most men were prone to do – sometimes even in front of their girlfriends, a story I’ll tell later if anyone wants me to), and they were racking up a hell of a tab that was going to make my managers happy, so I checked on them as often as I could.

Toward the end of their second bottle of wine, as they were finishing their entrees, I stopped at the table and asked if they wanted any more drinks or dessert or coffee. They were well and truly tipsy by now, giggling, leaning back in their chairs – but so, so careful not to touch each other when anyone was near the table.

They’re all on the fence about dessert, so being a good server, I offered to bring out the dessert menu so they could glance it over and make a decision, “Since you’re celebrating.”

“She’s right!” one of the men said, far too emphatically for a conversation on dessert. “It’s your anniversary! You should get dessert!”

It was like a movie. The whole table went absolutely silent. The clank of silverware at the next table sounded supernaturally loud. Dean Martin warbled “That’s Amore” in some distorted alternate universe where the rest of the restaurant went on acting like this one tipsy man hadn’t just shattered their carefully crafted cover story and blurted out in the middle of a tiny, South Carolina town, surrounded by conservatives and rednecks, that they were gay men celebrating a relationship milestone. 

And I didn’t know what I was yet, but I knew I wasn’t an asshole, and I knew these men were family, and I felt their panic like a monster breathing down all our necks. It’s impossible to emphasize how palpably terrified they were, and how justified their terror was, and how much I wanted them to be happy.

So I did the only thing I knew to do. I said, “Congratulations! How many years?”

The man who’d spoken up burst into tears. His partner stood up and wrapped me in the tightest, warmest hug I’ve ever had – and I’ve never liked being touched by strangers, but this was different, and I hugged him back.

“Thank you,” he whispered, halfway to crying himself. “Thank you so much.”

When he finally let go of me and sat back down, they finally got around to telling me they were, in fact, two couples on a double date, and both celebrating anniversaries. Fifteen years for one of them, I think, and a few years off for the other. It’s hard to remember. It was a jumble of tears and laughter and trembling relief for all of us. They got more relaxed. They started holding hands – under the table, out of sight of anyone but me, but happy.

They did get dessert, and I spent more time at their table, letting them tell me stories about how they met and how they started dating and their lives together, and feeling this odd sense of belonging, like I’d just discovered a missing branch of my family.

When they finally left, all four of them took turns standing up and hugging me, and all four of them reached into their wallets to tip me. I tried to wave them off but they insisted, and the first man who’d hugged me handed me forty dollars and said, “Please. You are an angel. Please take this.”

After they left I hid in the bathroom and cried because I couldn’t process all my thoughts and feelings.

Fast forward to three days ago, when my own partner and I showed up to a dinner reservation at a fancy-casual restaurant to celebrate our fifth anniversary. The whole time I was getting ready to leave, there was a worry in the back of my mind. The internet web form had asked if the reservation was celebrating anything in particular, and I’d selected “Anniversary.” I stood in the bathroom blow-drying my hair, wondering what I would do if we showed up, two women, and the host or the server took one look at us and the “Anniversary” designation on our reservation and refused to serve us. It’s not as ubiquitous anymore, but we’re still in the south, and these things still happen. Eight years of progressive leadership is over, and we’ve got another conservative despot in office who’s emboldening assholes everywhere.

It was on my mind the whole fifteen minutes it took to drive there. I didn’t mention it to my partner because I didn’t want to cast a shadow over the occasion. More than that, I didn’t want to jinx us, superstitious bastard that I am.

We walked into the restaurant. I told the hostess we had a reservation, gave her my last name.

She looked at her screen, then looked back at us. She smiled, broadly and genuinely, and said, “Happy anniversary! Your table is right this way.”

Our server greeted us, said, “I heard you were celebrating!”

“It’s our anniversary,” Kellie said, and our server gasped, beaming.

“That’s great! Congratulations! How many years?”

And I finally breathed a sigh of relief, and I thought about those men at that restaurant ten years ago. I hope they’re still safe and happy, and I hope we all get the satisfaction of helping the world keep blooming into something that’s not so unrelentingly terrible all the time.

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Originally posted by water-aesthetics

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

Keep reading

OKAY BUT concept: Lazytown, but it’s meant for teenagers

Okay but- imagine how different Lazytown would be if it were meant for teens while STILL trying to be educational 

Like, it’s a few years into the future, and all the kids are now in middle or high school (depending on age. I like to think Ziggy 13, Stingy and Stephanie 14, and Trixie and Pixel 16) 

Of course, Sportacus, Robbie, and the other adults would all treat the children differently now that they are older. They are open to talk to the kids about more mature and serious topics 

The teens are a really confusing time to be going through, and I’m sure Sportacus would still be just as supportive and willing to save the day…he just does so in different ways now 

The show would cover and educate teens on  issues that teens might go through like 

*Ziggy being self-conscious about his weight to the point where he just- stops eating and Sportacus tells him that how his body FEELS is more important, rather than how it LOOKS (covering body positivity, eating disorders, showing that boys can have that problem too) 

*Stingy developing his very first crush on someone and becoming very clingy and possesive and needing to be taught that people are NOT like things and you can’t just CLAIM a person as yours (covering consent and healthy relationships) 

*Steph getting her period for the first time and she and the Mayor have no idea wtf is going on (cuz lbr, the mayor is kind of dumb) so Sport’s crystal beeps and they’re like “she’s bleeding!” and Sport knows what’s happening but doesn’t know what to do so they actually call Bessie for help. But after that, Sporto starts carrying pads/tampons along with him just in case cuz you gotta stick out for your friends 

*Given the amount of time Pixel spends with computers, I’m sure you can make at least one episode on internet safety with it. Pixel’s crush on Stephanie might be good material for episodes on teenage romance and healthy relationships too 

*Trixie maybe starting to realize that she’s “not like other girls” and doesn’t really pay much attention to boys like they do (covering sexuality) Perhaps she even likes Stephanie a little which could add the element of a love triangle

*Maybe in that same episode, Sport teaches them about gender and sexuality in general and he brings up non-binary gender and Robbie overhears and identifies it with himself, giving us a message that it’s never too late to come out or discover who you are 

*Imagine the drama of an episode where one of the kids gets their hands on a cigarette and Sport catches them just before they’re about to light it and for the very first time EVER, he’s visibly VERY ANGRY at and DISSAPOINTED in the kids, but it’s all out of a place of concern 

*Or an episode where Robbie slips Sport just ONE shot of alcohol in secret and given how sensitive his body is to just SUGAR, Sport instantly gets alcohol poisoning which leads to Robbie freaking out and probably asking the kids for help or something because not even sportscandy is fixing it (teaching kids to be careful around alcohol and also what to do if a friend happens to get sick) 

*Sport shown to actually be overwhelmed with worry about the safety of people in town every once in a while and having anxiety over it, and being confused because he goes outside a lot and eats healthy so WHY is it happening? And Robbie who also dealt with anxiety issues in the past actually telling him that sometimes, that’s not enough and how sometimes, medications and therapy may help (teaching that it’s okay to let people know you aren’t always ok, and that you shouldn’t hide it) 

And of course, Sport would STILL be promoting a healthy lifestyle in general. He’s the cool high school health teacher dad, who’ll talk to the kids about anything they want to know, from puberty to sex to crushes, anything. And Robbie has toned it down on the schemes a bit (since the kids are older and much less guillable now so there’s no point) and has warmed up to the kids a bit now that they are older. But, he’s still the lazy insomniac we know and love. Maybe sometimes, …Robbie might even be a better teacher in terms of MENTAL health than Sportacus even, given all the stuff that he himself has dealt with having 

…Not to mention, an older target audience opens up potential for Sportarobbie to actually be a thing? 

There’s just- so much potential that Lazytown could STILL have, even if it weren’t meant for younger kids

This is just- something that I really really want and like to think about 

EDIT: Some MORE ideas for you since I came up with more 

*Pixel’s crush on Steph just getting bigger and bigger but he has no idea how to talk to girls, so for whatever reason, he asks ROBBIE for advice on how to do that, who ends up bringing out Rottenella for him to practice on 

*That ends up being a bust given that Rottenella can’t talk, so he ends up asking TRIXIE to help him practice and even after realizing that the girl he has an eye on is Stephanie, …she helps him out anyway even if it hurts, because Stephanie and Pixel are her friends and she actually….sacrifices her own feelings for theirs 

*Sport is the one person that Trixie can talk to and vent to about her feelings for Steph, being the one guy she can trust, and then Sport totally hits us with the feels by being like “I understand what you’re going through….the person I like wants me out of town forever.” 

*Robbie going through one of his depressed states during the winter holidays (perhaps seasonal affective disorder? The episode covers depression) and isolating himself around Christmas because his self-esteem is in the gutter and he’s convinced that nobody wants him around, so he’ll spend the holidays alone, and Sport is just heartbroken and like “No, you’re very wrong, we WANT you to come be with us and we love you” and we finally get a translated performance of “Aleinn um Jolin” 

*Robbie reprogrammed Sugar-Pie to act like a normal dog, but one day he stops functioning  and is beyond repair and basically “passes away”, and everyone else is like “??? but it’s a robot, just make another.” But Sport reminds the kids that regardless, this was someone that Robbie was close to and that they should let  him grieve and be there for him (covering loss, death, and the stages of grief, which is something everyone goes through at some point) 

*Bessie becoming the unofficial mom that helps the girls out with the things that Sportacus and the Mayor might lack ability or knowledge to help in (like, bra shopping and shit like that because the idea of momma Busybody is just great, you guys) 

*Being the youngest, Ziggy is just entering high school and the older kids support him and help him get used to the transition from middle school 

*At least one episode with the trope where one of the boys is dealing with their voice cracking due to puberty (Stingy, because he would be the funniest) 

*There is still a Bing Bang at the end of each episode, but each one is different where sometimes, a different character sings it, or the music changes genres or parodies some sort of pop culture reference 

…You can make at least 12 episodes out of all this? That’s like, half a season right there 

ANOTHER EDIT: I’ve noticed how a big handful of you said that you fucking want this? Well, I’m not stopping you? Everyone, be my fucking guest if you wanna contribute to this in any sort of way. 

Actually…it might be kind of fun, making this into a sort of group project (collaborate on art, fics, etc) You guys can like, message me if that sounds cool

Real advice

So a lot of you on here are teens and might be getting ready to be out on your own. Here are some things I learned the hard way or that are just good to know.

  • Never smoke or quit if you are currently. The cost of addictive smoking is more than half your groceries a month AND the bodily cost will surprise you.
  • Drink water. Yeah okay I know this one sucks but water is much much cheaper than soda, trust me. Your skin will thank you.
  • Send thank you cards. Don’t have any? Get the cheap ones and send those. It doesn’t matter how nice they are, the fact that you sent a thank you card matters. Send it for gifts, people calling you to check on you, those adults who helped you move, and even people who interview you.
  • Withhold 1. Okay so speaking of jobs, on your forms (US) where you are trying to figure out your tax withholding, put one. Yourself. It’s an easy way to make sure you don’t owe $2,000 in April and you still get a pretty decent check. 
  • No pets. If you don’t have a pet now, don’t get one. It’s super hard to get an apartment that will let you have a pet when you are first starting out. Wait until you are a bit older and can afford to rent more than a one bedroom apartment. 
  • Insurance. You’re young, so why do you need life insurance? Because that’s the best time to get it. Yeah, it’s a dumb expense to pay right now, but if you get it early, you can afford it. The longer you wait, the more expensive it is. Car insurance is going to be high for a few years, but it will drop around 22 and 25 years old. Health insurance usually comes through your job and please don’t ignore it. Renter’s insurance is usually pretty cheap and it covers you if there is a fire or natural disaster and you have to go back home to mom.
  • Off brand. This goes for food, clothing, makeup, and cleaning supplies and just about anything else you can think of. For food, Aldi’s is your best friend. I can go fill up a cart of just food and it will cost maybe $70. the same amount of food at Walmart is easily over $150. You can of course be picky, but try to get the majority of your food off brand. Hygiene products too. Goodwill is great for clothes, but plan a trip. Save like 60 bucks and drive near a big city where the rich people live. Go to the goodwill there. You can basically get an all new wardrobe for pennies on the dollar. Makeup is tricky. It can be really really expensive but you don’t really have to buy all of it name brand. Pick whats most important to you. I prefer eye shadows and lipsticks name brand and I deal with everything else from the drugstore. With he right techniques, you can make it look expensive. As for cleaning, I always use dollar tree stuff minus my laundry detergent because of allergies. Bleach, stain spray, and vinegar are gonna be your best friends,.
  • Car. Okay so yeah, that brand new car is nice and sure, maybe you can afford it. For now. Disaster will strike. Something will come up and bam, you’re stuck choosing if you want to walk everywhere or eat. Try getting a slightly used car, such as one of the ones they let people test drive a lot or a car that has previously been leased. Just as nice and much MUCH cheaper. And I have gotten THREE cars with no down payment so don’t let them tell you you can’t. But it is nice to put it down,even $100. 
  • Negotiate. Don’t be afraid to haggle with people. Yeah it’s intimidating but it’s 10 minutes of your life versus hundreds of dollars a year. What can you negotiate? Almost anything. Car payment. Rent. Insurance. Hospital bills. Even due dates for the bills you can’t negotiate on. Also, if something comes up where you have to skip a payment on something, call them. Give them like $25 and explain your situation. Ask if your payment date can be moved with the $25 as a goodwill promise to pay the rest later. It works. They would rather move your date than send you to collections. 
  • Collectors. Okay so this one is tricky. If you have fallen behind and owe a collector, don’t fret. I do too, even as I write this. Owing a collector means that the original service has been paid (health bills, credit card ect) and you are now paying the people who paid your bill. (I know it’s confusing) however, they will usually want the entirety of what they paid for you in 6 months. Meaning if they just paid a bill for you that was $3,000, they are gonna ask for $500 a month. That’s rent. That’s crazy. Tell them outright what you can afford and don’t lie about it either. If you can afford $100, tell them that. If you can afford $50, tell them that. If you can’t afford to pay them anything when they call you, let them know when you can. If you can’t afford it when you told them you could, don’t answer your phone to a number you don’t know. I know that sounds horrible but if you are renting an apartment, renting a car, and literally own nothing, they can’t do much to you. Just pay when you can and try to maybe pick up some extra shifts at work to make a payment. I have been dodging collectors for about three years. I owe I think three right now. I pay ONE of them a month, but it’s a large payment to keep them quiet for a while. I do not suggest this for you, I am just letting you know what I do.
  • Credit Cards. Okay, the big one. Many adults will tell you to never ever get a credit card and that’s just not feasible in this world. However, it can be addicting to be able to go to Walmart when you are negative in your bank account and get that $10 movie. I mean, it’s just 10 bucks right? WRONG. It will build up fast and soon the one credit card you have will be maxed. So you have to get another for emergencies. And another. And so on. So here’s my advice; Get a credit card through the same bank as your checking and tell them to put a limit on it and not let it raise. Then lock that sucker away and forget you have it until a real emergency comes up like a flat tire, short on money for groceries, or that collector that hasn’t been paid in 4 months. You can make it on one credit card if you are strict with your money, which I am sure you don’t have a lot of.
  • Budget. Speaking of money, write out a budget for yourself. Don’t know how? Here’s the easiest way. Most people get paid bi-weekly so here’s how to do it. Make two columns, Check 1 and Check 2. If you have a full time job you know about how much your checks are going to be so put the amount at the top of each column. Now that hard part - figure out what is due when. Is something due June 1st? Take it out of check 2 (end of May). Is something due May 14? Take it out of check 1 (beginning of May). That main thought process behind your budget is that you want to have the money for a bill set aside before it’s due. Paying a bill a few days early is a great way to make a good financial reputation for yourself and for some things even build credit. Now if you get paid bi-weekly, you will sometimes have a month where you get 3 checks. DON’T BLOW IT. Put it right back into your budget as Check 1 and keep the flow going. If you prepay bills, like your car or your rent or your credit card, and stay a month a head of those big ones, you may need that wiggle room later. If your car, for instance, is paid ahead 1 month, you can use the car money you would normally pay that month for maybe some extra groceries or some small emergency without using your credit card and you won’t even fall behind! You’ll just be back to owing every month instead of being ahead. It’s like a savings account without the temptation to blow the money. 
  • Simplicity. Enjoy simple things. A gym is expensive, go for a walk instead. Cable is expensive, pay for internet. Phones are expensive, get on a family plan (there is no shame in staying on your parent’s plan, just pay your share). Food is expensive, enjoy leftovers. Movies are expensive, go early and resist any snacks. Shopping is expensive, go to the mall and spend all day trying on cute clothes and taking selfes in the dressing room (makes you feel like a million bucks sometimes!). Time is expensive because you don’t have a lot of it so If you want to stay in bed all day on your day off, do it. If you want to binge on your day off, do it. If you want to just play board games with friends on a Saturday night with a few beers, do it. Simple fun is way better for your pocket and your anxiety.
  • Mental Health  - speaking of anxiety, make sure you take care of your brain. Go outside, even if it means sitting on your steps. Wake up early, even for just an hour. Don’t burn yourself out at work or school because you will suffer the consequences. Make a schedule. If you have trouble with timekeeping, ask for help. If you feel you do have a real mental disorder, see if your employer has what’s called and EAP program (employee assistance program). They usually help you find a mental health provider and give you a few visits for free. This will help you narrow down what exactly you have and after you’re free visits are up you can see who is in your health insurance network that can provide you the mental care you need. if you are prescribed drugs, always get generic. If there is no generic, ask for an alternative. I will not lie to you, mental health is the hardest thing to treat. It took me 8 years and a lot of money to figure out the right medication cocktail for me and my bipolar/ schizophrenia (yes I have both). Turns out I only need two pills, and if I were to refill both of them right now, I wouldn’t even pay $10 thanks to my health insurance (which sucks but at least it’s there) and because I got generics. Also, talk therapy can be pricey but sometimes only a few sessions can change your life. I have literally only been to talk therapy 11 times in my life and that was to deal with PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, and suicidal tendencies. 11 sessions. That’s 11 hours. And yeah, I paid over $400 out of pocket for those collectively. But if I hadn’t I would probably be dead right now so it was worth it.
  • Connections. Calling your friends is awesome because sometimes, it’s free therapy. And okay, maybe you’re 19 and you still have a horrible relationship with your parents. It’s okay. I am 25 and I still have problems with my parents. My whole family actually. Social media is a kind of safety net for me because that’s where I can be myself. Find where you can be yourself, it will help you stay sane.
  • Clean. Sometimes when I feel crappy, I take a shower. I clean the living room. I do the dishes. I vacuum. I mop. I open the windows. I get the trash out of the house. Change into some clean clothes. Organize my desk. Clean out your closet and put all your unwanted clothes in bags to donate. Just a small amount of cleaning can make you feel like you accomplished something. 
  • Hobbies. This one is a little hard too. It depends on your personality, your budget, and how much free time you have. Drawing , singing, and writing are free. Exercising can be free if you run or walk in the park. But most hobbies do actually cost money. Video games, playing an instrument, painting, sewing, cooking/baking, making things - those all cost money. Some of them lots of money. But you have to have a hobby outside of social network, sleeping, and working. It’s another thing to keep you sane and it’s just a good idea.
  • Toxic people. Do not be afraid to cut people out of your life that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself or insult your life. This could mean breaking up with your partner, unfriending a person from your social circle, cutting out a whole circle of people, or even not talking to a relative(s). It’s not easy for some people but if they do not build you up, they will only tear you down. 
  • Drink at home. Okay so this one might sound like a no brainer, but I’ll explain it anyway. Packs of beer and hard liquor bottles are cheaper than a pint and a shots at the bar. Bottles of wine are cheaper than a glass at a restaurant. It’s never okay to drive drunk or even after one bottle of beer. NEVER. Staying at home is cheaper all around and you can drink in your pajamas while watching Finding Nemo on loop. Or invite some friends over and create a drinking game out of a show, a game you already have, or just talk and drink. 
  • Sleep. This one is so important. You need a good bed and a quiet, dark place to sleep. If you are scared of the dark, get a night light. Can’t sleep in silence? Get a fan. I have both of these and they help. You’re brain will feel tired if you ‘slept’ for 12 hours but only got 1 hour of REM. REM can really only happen every night if you are in a calm and dim environment. Quality of sleep will effect your eating habits, your emotional state, your mental stability, and your ability to make rational decisions among other things. 

So these are obviously just a few things, but I feel they are important to share. Please feel free to add any and reblog it for those about to enter adulthood. 

anonymous asked:

Do you have like a checklist or something of things that need to be done before you can move out? I have over a year to get ready, but I'm not certain what "ready" means exactly. What needs to happen before a person can live on their own (in the USA)? Thanks for answering, love your blog!

I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.

But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!

Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Apartment Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.

Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Applying to Rent the Apartment

Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in. 

1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.

2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.

3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.

4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

  • DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)
  • Your doctor’s office
  • Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)
  • Your credit/debit card company
  • Your bank
  • Your phone company
  • Any government programs you’re a part of
  • Any companies that you have loans with
  • Your health insurance company
  • Your auto insurance company
  • Amazon

4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.

5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.

6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.  

7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

What frightens me about the men I know is that I know men are so good at compartmentalizing and creating public and private selves. I don’t think there’s a single man I know, including gay men, including men I love, including men in my own family, who I don’t fear might secretly be doing some horrific shit on the internet. I’ve just read too many stories about women who were happily married for years before they found out their husbands’ abusive online habits.

I’ve often joked with my friends about how me using the internet in front of other people (like in a class) is “taking a walk on the wild side” because the might see my search history, but I just want to clarify: when I say that my search history is private and might be embarassing, I meant, “I look up geeky, uncool things like fanfiction and I spend too much time reading celebrity gossip blogs and looking at Pinterest shit,” not embarassing as in the male sense of “My search history would reveal that I send violent, abusive threats to women online and watch rape porn.” My private self is maybe less cool than my public self, but it isn’t so dramatically different that my ethics would be called into question if my search history were to be made public.

There is currently a content creator blackout in my fandom, and seeing all those posts about art theft brought back some memories.

(Go and read @hchano​‘s brilliant post, by the way. I’d have replied to it but then my reply turned into a novella.)

The art theft stories resonate with me, you have no idea.

You know, if someone was to check my ‘rules’ pages right now, they’d see this:

Fanart: 
I don’t care about reposts, don’t worry if you spot my drawings somewhere else

Now, it might look like I’m super chill about this. That I’m not 'whining’ like those artists who 'care too much, it’s just drawings’.

The truth is I don’t care because I haven’t posted an artwork I gave a fuck about since 2011. I do not want to bother with that. It’s thankless. It’s an endless source of stress and discouragement. Why would I spend effort and time when I know the end result is that I’ll be - for lack of a better term - pissed on by entitled jackasses and by thieves?

Story time.

I used to run a flash minigames website. It didn’t have much content, since I had to draw it all myself, and figure out how actionscript worked, and so on. Still, I put ads on that website, and not only did it pay for itself, it brought me a tiny bit of income too! For my own content that I had made myself, just imagine! I planned to make that little site grow and grow until it could support me and drag me out of the hell that is unemployment.

It’d see cute stories on Stumbleupon by parents who said their toddler had loved the games. That made me super happy. It was real nice for a while.

And then I got an email from a girl in Israel telling me she had seen my art sold as coloring books in her area.

That was a blow.

I mean, I’m literally an artist by trade. I have a diploma to prove it and all. I’d have loved to get paid for my art, seeing how I couldn’t fucking find a job using those skills that were apparently good enough for commercial use.

But I kept the site up for a little while, as well as my profiles on art websites, though I barely updated them. I’d ignore the thieves that sold IMVU stuff with my art on it. I’d pay no mind to the brats who sold it on Gaia Online, because it was just virtual coin. I tried to ignore the fact that some of my stuff got popular under someone else’s name.

Just drawings, right?

Anyway, my flash games could be stolen. Actually, in the general sense, it was pretty much the goal. There was my website’s logo on them, a direct link. Having them redistributed meant traffic coming back to my site, and advertising income for me.

Can you see where this is going?

Back then, there was a flash game monetization network, called MochiAds. It was cool. It allowed you to insert ads into your games, and a great many flash games websites would import MochiAds’ feed, which made for a fast and widespread distribution of the games. It was a neat service.

Except someone decompiled my games, replaced my logo by theirs, inserted ads inside them and published them as their own.

Within hours, you could google the new names the thief had given to my games, and get 500.0000 results. Accounting for all of my games, that made for millions of reposts, all of them defaced, linking to the thief’s website, monetized by them.

Of course, MochiMedia responded quickly when I reported the theft, but their disabling the ads on those games didn’t remove them from the thousands of independent websites they were posted on.

I never made another flash game.

As a matter of fact, I no longer draw.

I was never in it just for the fun. I wanted the rewards. I wanted to make art my full-time job. Hell, I went to school for that. I wanted the compensation for my effort and time. I wanted my website to grow from the 'sustains itself’ to 'sustains me’ size.

And then I realized that people could snap their fingers and steal it all. Make me look like I had plagiarized my own work. Bury me in stolen content.

I learned that, on the internet, there was no point giving your heart and soul to something you can’t nail in place.

And, more than anything, I learned to hate drawing.

But, hey! Look at the bright side! Now that I gave up on drawing, nobody will steal my art anymore!

Isn’t that great? :)

A-Z NSFW: Chanyeol

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
If seeing Chan with the twins on RoS didn’t tell you how attentive and loving he is, I don’t know what else to tell you. He has a fucking check list to run through after sex is over to make sure you’re okay, if you’re satisfied, he’ll wipe you down or help you into the bath/shower and help clean you up, before returning to bed for a movie, cuddles, and a nap.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
Does it count if his favorite body part is his entire body? The man is twice the size of an average human in every way; his height is out of this world and his hands are like baseball mitts. With height, comes the fun of being able to tower over you, and basically cover you with himself, and have that good ol’ skin on skin contact, and surround you with his body. His favorite body part on you, however, are your hips. He likes how his large hands look in comparison to your body, how he can control your pace when you top, and how he can pin you down and have you at his mercy.

C = Cum 
Okay listen…Chan is the loudest when he cums, if y’all thought his deep rapper voice was heard during the sex, god forbid anyone’s around when he gets release. He’s tip toes into the mentality of a true dom a bit sometimes, not a lot, so more often that not he ends up releasing on your thighs or tummy, sort of a mark that you’re hisas if the 143 hickies don’t prove that

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
Being the sneaky little shit he is, after one night you’d stayed over, and he woke up alone, he forgot you were in the dorm. The shower was running, so he obviously figured it was one of his members and when to pick the lock so he can pee and get started in the day. But of course, it wasn’t one of the boys, just your naked self showering peacefully. This being before you’d started being intimate, he just stood there and stared for a good minute before he silently freaked out, left, and never told you about it. Oops?

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Chan had a GF when he was younger, the little fucking about pissed himself laughing when D.O. was swinging that balloon thing and suddenly it looked like a dick, but when he had the gf, they were pretty young so I doubt anything happened. That being said, he’s a dirty minded boy with internet, so I’m sure he’s aware of what to do and what everything is.

F = Favorite position
Unless you’re a goddamn giant, height differences are going to be slightly an issue, not much, just a bit. Chan’s favorite position is him sitting against the back of the bed, and letting you have your fun while riding him. That way, you’re on the same level, and he may or may not be a slight sub so you topping really makes his day.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Chan doesn’t have a serious bone in his body, do you really think he’ll be anything but a ball of embarrassing goofiness while his bone is in you?

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
We’ve seen his tummy/abssoft tummy!chan for the winquite a bit, and we’ve definitely seen the happy trail, so he’s no where close to bare(who shaves/waxes their crotch and keeps a happy trail?), but he’s a pretty clean boy, with how much he dyes his hair, I’m sure he’s in the shower a lot, keeping the hair up and clean and whatever, I imagine while he’s there he manscapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
I think Chan is one of the most romantic members in EXO. I can’t remember what it was, but I think he was filling a jar with paper stars or something of the likes for his girlfriend when he was younger before they broke up, and he kept the jar. He brought flowers for his co-star on the movie he did in China as an apology for the language barrier, he’s just the sweetest boy ever, I can’t imagine that not carrying over into your relationship/sex life. He’s the boy that thinks movie romance is how it is in real life, he decks the room out in scented candles, mood lighting, it gets a bit weird when he plays some of his own music…but it’s Chan so we’ll let that slide.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
Chan’s the master of picking locks and getting in bathrooms with other members, so I doubt he’s worried about anyone walking in. The doors locked, he’s safe. Not that it matters, because the boy can’t touch his dick silently, it sounds like a freaking lion is loose in the house, every one knows Chanyeol. I feel like he’s a shower masturbater, like he’s in their washing his hair, cleaning, all that good stuff, and oops I’m rubbing my dick…might as well go the whole nine yards kind of dude.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Don’t mistake his love for you riding him as him being submissive, no no no. Even when you top, majority of the time his hands are guiding and controlling your movement, he’s mostly the dom, of course though, there will be times he lets you have control but on the norm, he’s the boss. Chan’s not a daddy kink guy, he’s more of a yes sir, kind of kink man. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
The bed is the easiest place to do it, and honestly Chan’s kinda lazy lol. It’s just more comfortable, easier to handle(no risk of anyone getting dropped or hurt) and when it’s over he can just cuddle you into his chest and go to sleep. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He’s a begging lover, he love love loves when you beg for him. And honestly, he’s a sucker for you whining to blow off getting dinner or going to the movies, and stay home with you and have your own fun together.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Maybe this was just because you’re a little shit to him, but he now, refuses to allow you to handcuff him. Shit went down when he let you take control one night, and handcuffed him to the bed, aaaaand you lost the key for a good two hours while he’s just trapped on the bed butt ass naked. Never again.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Chan’s rapper tongue is no joke, aside from the fact that boy never stops talking, his tongue was designed by the gods for going down on you, especially since he’s too tired to just pound your brains out, he often spends a good time going down on you to give you the most pleasure he can give you. As for you giving oral to him, he certainly isn’t going to pass up being able to see you on your knees, eyes looking up to him, and your mouth open, obedient as always.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Chan’s height kind of stifles his full potential, he’s somewhat slow but not unbearably slow, you know? He’s pretty rough though, and very thorough with his love making, you’re never left unsatisfied, that’s for sure.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Over your relationship, you could count the amount of quickies you’ve had with Chan on one hand, they’re a very rare occurrence. He likes being able to lay with you and love you to the best of his abilities, and a quickie means all the fun gets cut out because it’s…quick…Chan’s not a fan of them at all.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
After an incident with dropping you during some good ol’ fashion wall sex, he’s hyper aware of how easy it is to get hurteven though you insisted you werent hurthe’s pretty conscious of the risks of different positions and places, so he’s really hesitant to try new things. He might need a bit of convincing to help him comply, but still, risks are far and few in between, he just doesn’t want you hurt.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He gets winded easily, but that’s expected from a member of the royalty that is EXO, he’s working out all the time, practicing all the time, he’s pretty tired when he stumbles through the door, so one round is probably all he can muster up without a good four hour nap in between the next round. But that being said, he’s not tapping out until he knows you’re completely satisfied, if it takes minutes or a hour to get you all set, he’s down for the ride.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
The only toy-ish thing Chan owns is handcuffs. He’s not very big on toys, he’s the ‘i’m the best toy you have!’ kind of dude, you know? The only reason he delves into handcuffs is so he can work hands on when you’re being…squirmy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He’s not much of a tease, realistically he doesn’t have time to stretch it out, he either needs to be sleeping or flying across the world. Not that if he had time or not matters, he likes you two becoming one, he’s not one to mess around with teasing either you or himself.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Chan has a loud mouth at any given time, he’s a very extra boy, so that definitely carries with him to the bedroom. Top that with his impossibly deep voice, at the very least you can hear the deep tone vibrating through the walls, but I’m willing to bet my leg the whole neighborhood will hear him cursing, grunting, and moaning for you. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He’s 100% dropped you by accident. You didn’t get hurt, thankfully, but it did end up with Chanyeol apologizing over and over and you just laying on the ground, laughing at how much of a flop you two are. That’s the danger of wall sex with a giant human, isn’t it?

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Okay…okay…We have seen that boy’s dick so many fucking times, with how much taller he is than me, and that fucking thing, it’s got to be the size of my fucking forearm, I’m not joking vv

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
I don’t think Chan has a very high sex drive, he doesn’t pop random boners and humps your leg like a dog, no worries about that. Sex drive aside, he’s always yearning for you, he’s kind of a clingy puppy, he never turns down the idea or random thought to have a dance under the sheets.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Listen….this mofo actually crawled into a suitcase and went to sleep ?? He gets winded easily, I imagine he falls asleep fairly quick afterwards, but that’s all good, he’s worked you out so much you’re barely awake too. Just take a nap with him, y’all need it.

Demon Boyfriend

An anon requested a demon boyfriend story and I have to say this one is probably one of my favorites. I used some of this post by @demonwomb

   You knew the price was too good to be true when you got the apartment, but beggars can’t be choosers and you knew you would never find such a nice place in your price range like this again. You moved in quickly, your few belongings still made the new space seem empty but you were happy with it all.

   Things were fine at first, you weren’t at the apartment much as you started your new job. You mainly slept at the new apartment, you had barely time to enjoy as things were moving so fast. There were things you noticed, sometimes a cup that you thought you had placed in the sink now sat in the living room. There was a picture hanging in the apartment that you swore there was a deer in it one day and a goat the next.

   The more time you spend at home you started noticing these strange things more and more. Sometimes your blankets were ripped off your bed, the window was left open, your sink would start running and overflow.

   The longer you stayed the stranger the things became. Your closet opened one moment to fire and screaming and when you opened it again it was sheets and towels. Your fridge would start singing old madrigals and vomiting your kool-aid while the birds on your windowsill yelled at you that there was no god.

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kaluv888  asked:

Hi! This blog is a life saver haha! I have a little question; I'm going to be looking for apartments soon and it's my first time ever being away from home,,, is there anything I should look out for in general? Thank you!

Hey I’m so glad I’m helping! I have been meaning to write a post of this nature for a long time, so thank you for asking. Here. We. Go.

Apartment Hunting 101

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.


Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Additional Resources

Apartment Setup: My post that briefly outlines locating, checking out, and setting up a new apartment. Also has some next steps that I’m not going over in this post. It’s pretty good if I do say so myself!

Apartment Hunting 101: A list of helpful resources all relating to locating and checking out potential apartments. Some of the links aren’t set up correctly, so you will need to copy and paste them into a new browser.

NYC Renters: This post is designed for NYC Renters, but the points are still valid even if you’re not renting in NYC. A must read!

Stuff Nobody Tells You: I love love LOVE @hipdomestic so much! They haven’t posted anything recently, but this blog is an incredible resource. Check out this post that really goes into depth about apartments.

This City Never Sleeps

Word Count: 3421

Pairing: Eventual Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Requested: Nope

Warnings: Light cursing.

Summary: You learn Peter’s secret, and it doesn’t take long for him to learn yours.

Note: This is really reader-heavy. but I really felt that in order to move on in this verse I had to develop that character and her relationships with the other characters. So, sorry if you wanted more Peter, but I promise there will be more of him in future installments. Also this is the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written in my life.


“(Y/N)! Has Peter told you about his new internship yet?” Ned asked excitedly, sitting down at your usual lunch table. Peter wasn’t there yet, but that wasn’t abnormal. He had chemistry before lunch and had recently taken to spending some extra time in the lab before coming to eat.

“No,” you said. “I haven’t really seen him yet today.”

“Oh, man, I don’t want to spoil it for you but it is crazy!” Ned said.

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Thank you everyone for helping me reach the 300 followers milestone! As a gift, I’d like to present you with some of my tips :)

Recently, I met a group of very motivational people, and they gave me tips on how I could manage my time better. I obviously took notes and thanked them so much because it definitely helped me out a lot.

Note: These tips won’t apply to all people as it is mostly focused on junior students (I’m a junior, so it might not be as helpful for the students in uni/college??)

It is a common thing for all students to have struggles with organising their time (especially me– why am I giving tips; wtf??), so I present to you: how to sort out your time!! 

What I’m going to cover:

  • Finding time to do work
  • How you can beat procrastination
  • Homework
  • Revision
  • Assignments + Exams

Be prepared, because this is an immense post. *Looks down* Yeah, it seems like I’m about to jump down a cliff made of tips. 

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The Laundry Fic

Pairing: Amazing Phil & Daniel Howell (Phan)

Genre: Fluff, Light Smut, Head-cannon?

Word Count: 1800

Inspired by:  So we all know from Dan’s latest video that he spent his early years of Uni travelling down to Phil’s flat to do ‘laundry’. Here’s that fic. (Despite the title, I promise it’s not one of those fics). 

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Langst Headcanon

Soo, I’m really new to the fandom but when I discoverd the Langst Tag, I was surprised by how much I needed it! There are soooo many good langst things out here. Well, this is my share:

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** Please Note that I am not a native English speaker, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. ** 

I’m not very good at summarizing. I never have been. I only end up confusing myself and feeling like a huge failure.

Since I’ve been doing Distance Learning, I really didn’t have any other choice than to summarize. This is how I do it. 


1. Make a list beforehand of what you need to study. 

Go through your textbook, write down all of the headings and subheadings along with any other information that you think is important. Take your time doing this as this list will serve as a guide once you start studying for your exam(s). You can tick off each heading/subheading as you study when you’re confident that you know your work. By doing this, you’ll know what you need to work on or spend some extra time on.

2. Choose a color scheme that works for you - and stick to it!  

3. Always read through the paragraph before highlighting.

Read. Read. Read. There is absolutely no point in just highlighting sentences/words that look important. You’ll only end up wasting your time and confusing yourself. The whole process will be so much easier if you actually understand what you are reading.

4. Use sticky notes to add information/answers to questions.

5. Use diagrams/flow charts or any other visual aids that will help you to understand better.

6. Always try and simplify as you go along.

Try and summarize in your own words. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Use other resources - the internet, teachers, other students etc. to help you understand better.

I always have this quote in the back of my mind when summarizing:

“If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself.” - Albert Einstein 

This isn’t always easy. Sometimes textbooks can over complicate simple things and confuse you even more. Always, always, always try to simplify as much as possible.This will help you so much in the long run.

7. Bullets.

  • Oh, man. 
  • Don’t you just hate reading long, never-ending paragraphs?!
  • I do. 
  • Don’t be afraid to break down paragraphs while reading.
  • It will save you some time once you start summarizing because you can break up long paragraphs into bullet points.
  • It makes it easier to read, too.

8. Always keep a pencil nearby.

This is great for making some NB or ??? notes on the side or just a * if you need to look up a word etc.

9. Google is your friend.

Don’t know the meaning of a word? Google it. Use one of the synonyms to simplify your summaries. This is a life saver ;)

10. Take breaks. Please. And drink water.

Sitting at your desk for hours on end without a break is not good for you. Headaches, back pain, numb feeling in your legs, stiff neck, wrist pain etc. etc. 

Get up. Stretch. Go for a short walk. Watch a YouTube video. Listen to a song. Eat a snack. Moderation is key, though. Always remember: your health is important. 


I’ll post an update later about what kind of note taking method I use!


These tips are based on my own experience, if you have anything to add, please feel free to. :)

What about the RFA and Unknown and V finding out that MC has a career in the arts (author, artist, actor or something like that?) @saeranlover


Lol it’s been like 5,000 years since I’ve done a request, here you go bbies

Yoosung:

  • It was always a lingering thought in Yoosung’s mind
  • The thought always came randomly, but sometimes he swore that he  recognized your voice
  • Like the one time you yelled “Come at me!” at a friend who was teasing you and he just froze for a second to think about why it sounded familiar
  • It wasn’t until one day he was testing out a LOLOL character he’s never played before and she screamed out a line of dialogue before her attack
  • And suddenly he heard your voice behind him perfectly recreate the line
  • He turned around to see you cheekily grinning from your place on the bed
  • But it was wiped off your face soon enough because baby boi just pounced you into a big hug
  • “MC WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU VOICED A CHARACTER IN LOLOL I WOULD’VE PLAYED AS HER MORE OFTEN IF I KNEW.”
  • You giggled as he rapidly asked you other things you voice acted in and gawked when he recognized the other characters you’ve voiced in games and cartoons
  • He’ll shyly ask you to reenact his favorite lines or scenes and his inner fanboy will show
  • Yoosung’s never really been into the behind the scenes stuff but he already somewhat was a fan of yours before so he’s basically dating his favorite VA
  • Silly lil’ peanut is gonna ask for your autograph on his merch of the characters you’ve voiced

Jaehee:

  • She found out during one of your nights in
  • You were in the kitchen preparing the snacks while Jaehee sorted through the set of musicals the two of you had rented for tonight (you finally convinced her that watching ‘Promiscuous Jalapeno’ for the 8th time in a row was a little much)
  • Once that was all said and done, you cuddled up to Jaehee while the movie started as she fed you popcorn
  • Oh crap, you recognized this movie
  • You actually got the part of the main dancer in this film (it was your typical dance batte film)
  • You somewhat never wanted her to find out  that you were an actor/dancer in fear of always being compared to Zen
  • Once your character was introduced, Jaehee’s eyes squinted a little at the screen before gasping and shaking your shoulders
  • “MC, MC, IS THAT YOU?”
  • “U-uhm nooooo…?”
  • “Wait, why would you keep this secret from me?”
  • After explaining your reasoning as to why, she just pulled you into a tight hug
  • “I’d never compare you anyone else, I love you just the way you are, famous or not!”
  • After watching the movie, she put aside the time to scour the internet for every performance you’ve been in and is about to be the proud owner of all your merch
  • jaehee please no that was our grocery money

Zen:

  • “lolol zen have you seen mc’s latest cover?”
  • “Cover? What’re you talking about?”
  • “the one on her youtube channel???”
  • “…”
  • “you do know what she does for a living, right??”
  • After Seven endlessly mocked Zen for not knowing what his own girlfriend did for a living, Seven graciously provided the link to your Youtube channel
  • Zen then proceeded to spend the next 3 hours of his life going through
  • your entire channel
  • He knew that you liked to sing and sounded like an angel but this
  • This is something extraordinary
  • You actually made a living doing this and he never even knew!
  •  He finally made his way up to your latest cover (which was uploaded about a week ago), and HO L Y  C R A P
  • It was the song he’s practiced at home for months on end for a musical he recently just starred in!
  • When you get home that night, you’re bombarded with compliments and questions (mostly compliments)
  • You explained that you never recorded around him because you were afraid that he might’ve thought you were going to use him for popularity
  • “Babe, I know you would never do that NOW WILL YOU PLEASE DUET WITH ME–”
  • Guess who has the best mashup cover of ‘Butterfly’ now

Jumin:

  • Coming home a few hours early was indeed a rare occurrence for Jumin
  • Usually when he came home, you were instantly there to greet him with a hug and kiss
  • He called your name, but there was no response, just a faint typing sound
  • After hanging his coat on the coat hanger, he began walking towards the noise, his hands already working on loosening his tie
  • “Ah, here you are, my love,” he said upon entering the officeroom
  • “Jumin, you’re home early,” you smiled, letting your husband wrap his arms around your shoulders and resting his chin atop your head
  • “The office had to close early for some renovations,” Jumin explained, “but I’m more interested in what you’re working on.”
  • “I’m working on my next book!”
  • The surprised look on his face made you remember that you never brought it up to him before, but now is as good as time as any to explain
  • Jumin seemed genuinely intrigued as he listened to your explanation on your book series, which was apparently very popular
  • When you finished, he asked if you could lend him the first addition, as he did enjoy reading in his spare time
  • And soon enough, he was hooked
  • He’d have long talks with you over dinner on how he wasn’t expecting a plot twist or how well you wrote your characters
  • Or about how you should hurry and finish the next book because you left him on a cliffhanger

707:

  • He’s known since the background check that you had a job in digital art but he tucked that away in the back of his head because there were too many other things happening at the time (eg the hacker, your sudden appearance, his emotions and job…)
  • It isn’t until one day where he’s been able to work for a few hours straight without you lecturing him about how he should take a break
  • So he got up from his chair, slapped his right leg a few times to wake it up, and ventured outside his office to find you
  • To no surprise, you were huddled inside in the bedroom, but this time with your drawing tablet in hand
  • “Hey Saeyoung,” you tiredly muttered, eyes still glued to the laptop screen
  • His eyes trailed to where you were looking and a look of mock hurt morphed on his face, “MC, how dare you draw a picture of another man!”
  • You stifled a laugh at your boyfriend’s dramatic tone, “Zen just asked me to draw some things for his website so I’m–”
  • You should me drawing me instead! Here, I’ll even pose for you!” 
  • You regret even looking behind you, because Saeyoung was already stripping down to his boxers, need I remind you the pair with cat faces on them
  • “DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS.”
  • “SAEYOUNG PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON AND GET TO BACK TO WORK!”

V:

  • Usually you were making some sort of noise in the house, but today you were oddly quiet
  • “MC? Where are you?”
  • “I’m in the living room,” you hollered back as he started making his way over, “Be careful not to bump my arm though.”
  • “What’re you doing?” he asked, taking a seat on the floor next to you
  • You explained that you liked paint and used it as a way to make some extra pocket money
  • V was very happy and excited to hear that you had an artistic career just like him
  • You were always delighted to describe the paintings to him, and you always did it with such passion
  • After awhile, he started to miss photography and he so badly wanted to see your work for himself
  • So he decided to get the eye surgery
  • Once he did, he was shocked at how much he can see your heart poured onto the canvas
  • You often went out into nature together and sit there together for hours to photograph/paint and enjoy one another’s company
  • You also loved painting some of V’s older photographs and he loved it and every single one is framed in the house
  • #artsycouple
  • The day you painted a picture of the sun and gave it to him, he cried

Unknown:

  • The first time Saeran ever walked into your room, his eyes immediately darted to the big, colorful collection of sticky note pads on your desk
  • He picked one up, noting that every one had a slightly different drawing than the others, “What’re these for?”
  • “Oh, I’m an animator! I like to use these sticky notes when I’m bored.”
  • He never got to watch cartoons as a child so this was all new to him
  • Watching you peacefully work is very, very soothing to him, to just watch the lines fill with color so smoothly
  • You even let him have some of your already drawn-on sticky note pads and he likes to flip through them when he’s nervous or needs to calm down when something’s bothering him
  • His favorite is the one you made for him where it goes “I love you, Saeran!” with a cute little doodle of a cartoony-looking you kissing his cheek on it
  • As mentioned before, he never got to watch cartoons or movies as a kid and he’s willing to watch the ones you’ve worked on
  • It always amazes him that you made what was on the screen and he loves it (he’s never said it out loud but it shows on his face)
  • He really enjoys the ones that are story-based rather than the nonsense slapstick ones (which is what Saeyoung enjoys, much to his dismay)
  • Seeing the childlike innocence in his eyes is heartwarming and you wouldn’t trade it for the world 
TRYING TO GET OUT OF MY ABUSIVE HOME.

Let me start off by saying: my father is abusive, and this post will (hopefully) be the only way for me to get out of my abusive household.

I’ll explain to you guys a few things so that you can understand my current situation:

My father is the father of all control freaks. 

I am 19 years of age - legally an adult in Canada. However, he will not allow me to be independent, such as having my own cat or my own vehicle in my name, and he also uses these things as a form of blackmail to keep me in the house.


He controls how much time I spend on the internet, and who I talk to; he went as far as illegally running background checks on my former partners. 
I have little to no privacy, he periodically rummages through my room to find something to yell at me about, and if he doesn’t, he yells at me for the mess *he* left.

Moreover, he has denied me medical treatment multiple times, even for serious injuries (e.g. a dislocated elbow).

Starting in high-school up until now, I have suffered from several mental illnesses, including depression, extreme anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD caused by severe trauma that lasted 5 years of my childhood and has left massive gaps in my memory. All of these mental illnesses have had a huge impact on my life, not just at home, but in my school work as well, and my day-to-day life.

However, my father does not believe any of my trauma is real, says it’s my fault if I was traumatised, constantly belittles me for my mental health problems, and says I’m making everything up for attention.

On top of that, he is abusive to my siblings too; one of them is older and already moved out, and the other one is only 14 years old.

Finally, my father told me that if I do not do what he wants and go to school, I will be kicked out onto the street, family ties cut, and *everything* I own taken from me. My cat, will not only be taken away but “gotten rid of” by their words which could mean a number of things.

However, if I graduate a program in college I can leave the house and bring my cat, Molly, with me. This is her!:

(She isn’t actually mad her face just looks like that)
 
And I also get to keep my vehicle. Both of these things are not in my name even though currently I pay for them both, and take care of them completely by myself. The car is relatively unimportant to me as I don’t consider it an essential but Molly must come with me.

I currently have no money saved up for post secondary education, due to my mental health disintegrating thanks to a disability in the middle of my first year of nursing, and me losing the capability to witness deaths in the hospital placement. And all of this wasting all the funds I had saved. On top of this, he has said that he expects me to go back to school in January, which as of right now is not financially possible. He has said that if I do not go back to school by January then I am to be kicked out. However, if I can reason with my mother then I can possibly push this back to September of 2018, which will most likely give me enough time to gather the funds.  

So as I said, I need to get out of my abusive household as soon as possible, because it’s extremely detrimental to my already fragile mental health. This is why I am opening the doors for commissions of any and all kinds to help save money for this plan.

I am not asking for donations, and I am not asking for hand-outs, because I honestly hate asking for help and I don’t like just taking people’s money without giving something in return. If you are unable to or do not wish to help by commissioning then all I ask is that you reblog this post so that it can be seen.

Here is the plan:

My father, of course, said he refuses to help me in the slightest if I wanted to move, so, I don’t get even a bit of help from my family. That’s why I need to save more money to get in and finish a ONE YEAR program so that I can seal the devil’s deal and get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible (the shortest college programs run for one year). Right now, I work a part-time job that only earns me minimum wage, and still have bills to pay on top of that. I am unable to get a second job as my disability doesn’t allow for it, and because of this I am not making enough money to save for school in time for January. I  am not going to be depending solely on commissions to save the money, as I AM working, it’s just that extra push to get things done.


I’m sure, however, that you’re wondering why I don’t just leave. And believe me, I have tried to. Here is a short list of examples of what my father is like and why I cannot leave of my own free will:

1.  Once, I ran away in the middle of the night after a massive fight, he called the police on me and told them I had drugs in my possession (obviously, a lie) to get me searched and arrested. There is a great possibility of this happening again if I tried to get away even though I am an adult, he’d do anything to try and get me arrested.

2. I tried to leave to a friend’s house for refuge during a massive fight over laundry, which led to my father furiously chasing me down the driveway to my car. There, I sat with the doors locked and windows rolled up while he banged on them and tried to rip open the door for a good 20 minutes. He then said if I left the driveway *in the car that is actually mine*, he would call the police and tell them I had stolen it to get me arrested again.


3. While he is not physically abusive, he has tried to hit me. During yet another fight, which involved him coming into my bedroom while I was sleeping in the middle of the night to yell at me for something minor I can’t even remember, he attempted to grab my face and hit me. I have without a doubt that he will make some kind of physical attempt at keeping me from leaving the house.

I have tried to fight fire with fire so many times, and every time it has just ended with more violence and abuse. For the past several years I have tried to escape or find ways out, and have failed. Getting through the next year or two with my head low, doing what he says and taking the punches as they come is the only way out.

Thank-you, for reading through this to the end. If you are interested in helping and want a commission please message me, or send me an ask if you have questions, and we can work out details and prices. If you still wish to help but cannot commission all I ask is that you re-blog this post.

I will be posting some recent drawings Ive been working on for examples.

Right Under Their Noses

This was a request for @omg-gilliankazoo-me made.. a while ago.. Sorry it took so long and also ended up being longer then intended… Anyway enjoy!


Dick was more than a little conflicted. The woman that held hands with his adoptive father seemed nice enough, but a beautiful face had become a problem on multiple different occasions.  

His eyes scanned around the cabin of Bruce’s private plane and he could feel his foot start to tap with a nervous edge, if she wanted, this would be the perfect place to pull the rug out from under them and reveal herself to be the mastermind she was. Granted his paranoid thoughts were brought on by history rather than by any actions that she had taken, but one could never be too careful.

“Don’t stare too hard or she’s going to know somethings up,” his brother Tim stated as he typed away on his laptop.

“There’s not much else to stare at, we haven’t even taken off yet,” Dick whispered back slightly annoyed. “Have you found anything yet?”

“No,” Tim says solemnly. “No bombs, no tracking signals, no guns.”

“It’s almost like she’s just Bruce’s girlfriend,” a harsh voice comments.

Dick’s blue eyes shift to meet his other brother, Jason, who hadn’t even bothered to move his eyes from the window to acknowledge Dick’s presence.

“And how many times have they just been his girlfriend?” Dick questions tersely.

Jason rolls his eyes in consent but adds, “the kid seems to be all right with her.”

Dick’s gaze slides back over to where Bruce and the woman were sitting and met green eyes glaring at him from in between the seats. Dick had to admit that it was strange for Damian to have taken a liking to anyone, and he was surprised how quickly his youngest brother had formed an attachment to the woman.

“That makes it even worse, what if she’s mind controlled them somehow?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Tim adds.

Jason’s eyes left the window to look at the concern laced in his older brother’s eyes. He shifted his gaze to the woman and Bruce. As much as he hated it, he couldn’t agree with Dick that the woman had Bruce under some sort of mind control or was manipulating him and the kid for her own gain. She looked at him with just as much admiration that he gave her.

“Whatever,” he mumbles casting his gaze back to the tarmac.

“The plane is clean,” Tim pipes up.

“She must be planning something for when we land,” Dick mumbles.

“A kidnapping maybe?” Tim muses. “Maybe we should try and subdue her now. She wouldn’t be able to take on the five of us.”

“I’m not helping you idiots,” Jason adds his eyelids falling shut.

“Four of us,” Tim corrects.

“Bruce wouldn’t help us either and Damian probably won’t.”

“Two of us, those aren’t very good odds.”

“When we land we just need to get her alone, then we can strike and find out what her plan is.”

“I would like to posit one last time that she’s probably a normal woman.”

Tim and Dick roll their eyes at Jason.

“Why are you even here?” Dick questions. “I didn’t think that you would have actually wanted to come on vacation with us.”

“She invited me,” Jason responds with a shrug, “and that invitation came with a promise of my own room at the opposite end of the hotel, so the only time I have to spend with you losers is on the plane ride here and back.”

“She got to you too,” Dick mutters, arms crossing over his chest indignantly.

There were a few moments of silence before that door to the private plane finally shut and one of two stewardesses came to give safety instructions. Not to long after the plane was in the air, Dick searched his carry-on bag for any inflight entertainment.

‘Shit’ he thought when he opened the bag and realized that the only thing that he had with him was his half-charged cellphone. Dick slammed his head back onto the headrest, ready to spend the hours long flight in complete boredom.

Twenty minutes later a warm hand slipped onto Dicks shoulder, catching his attention. He felt his cheeks warm when his gazed met the ruby red lipped smile of the stewardess.

“I was asked to give this to you,” she said politely. The woman slipped a tablet into his hands. “Internet is already to go.”

“Thank you?”

“Oh, it’s no problem, your mother had us prepare them, she was worried that one of you might forget to bring something.”

“She’s not my mother,” Dick states flatly, the butterflies from the pretty stewardess gone. As he turns forward in his seat.

His sudden cold demeanor startled the woman and she almost flinched back from him.

“S-sorry,” she says walking away quickly.

Dick’s eyes find themselves on the woman who had fallen rather silent now as she tapped away on the device she had on her lap. Seemingly able to feel his eyes on her she looked at him and flashed him a small smile. Dick quickly cut his eyes away from the woman, afraid that if he looked at her he would find himself smiling back at her.

***

“Are Dick and Tim mad at me?” you ask softly. Bruce’s blue orbs slide worriedly over to meet yours and the and on your waist, gives you a reassuring squeeze and uses the other to hit the button to call the elevator.

“Not that I know of, why?”

“On the plane,” you start, “it seemed like they weren’t happy to be there, and since I’m the one who thought it would be a good idea to bring them I thought that maybe that they were a little angry.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Bruce says with a smile.

“Maybe we should have spent more time together back at home rather than just up and bringing them on a vacation,” you muse as the elevator doors close and the compartment starts to go up the shaft. “We’ve been dating for almost a year, but they don’t really know me, I imagine it’s uncomfortable being on a trip with a stranger.”

The elevator open to the top floor, the floor that Bruce had rented for the duration of your vacation.

“Maybe,” he says after thinking on it for some time.

The suite that you, Bruce and Damian would be staying was located at the end of the hall. Each of the boys had all already gone to their rooms, seemingly finding being in your and Bruce’s presence for a few extra minutes while you finished checking in simply unbearable.

You hadn’t let Bruce know, but he’d already figured out the fact that the boys weren’t comfortable around you nagged at the back of your mind. When you first got serious about your relationship with Bruce, he’d told you what to expect with his children, that they all had their guards up in one way or another, but you hadn’t expected them to hold you at arm’s length the way they did, to not even try to get to know you.

You entered the large penthouse suite and felt your heart flutter slightly at the size of it all. You still weren’t used to the lavishness of which Bruce lived, and he was very nonchalant about it all.

“We could have fit everyone in here,” you comment as you wander around the suite, admiring the cream-colored walls and cool black marble of the floor.

“No one wants to spend vacation in the room with their parents,” he says absently.

You feel a blush run over your cheeks but you don’t say anything.

There was a knock on the door, Bruce being closest opens the door and reveals a bell hop and a maid.

“Hello, Mr. Wayne, we’ve brought your luggage, and can put it all away for you if you would like.”

“Sure,” he says with the smile and moves aside to let both in.

The maid and the bell hop come inside with the first of your bags and greet you with a smile when they see you.

“Which bedroom?” she questions you.

“Um, the Master Bedroom I guess,” you say awkwardly, slightly uncomfortable with the idea of having someone trifle through your things.

Noticing your nerves, Bruce smiles, “Why don’t you explore the hotel, I’ll make sure everything gets set up properly.”

“Okay,” you say with a relieved smile.

One of the bedroom doors opens and reveals the youngest Wayne.

“Have they brought the bags up yet?” Damian asks.

“Just now,” you smile, “Why don’t you come explore the hotel with me while we wait for them to unpack everything?”

Damian’s green eyes blink at you for a moment before he nods his head in agreement.

“It would be best to scout out our surroundings in a foreign place.”

You toss a raised eyebrow at Bruce who shakes his head slightly embarrassed.

“Come on then,” you say with a smile.

 

“I’m telling you she’s up to something,” Dick says angrily.

“So, she just had Bruce fly us all to the Bahamas, rent out the top floor of an extremely popular hotel and gave us our own separate rooms, that we asked for by the way, so that she could what? Relax us to death?” Jason quips.

“It’s not like bad guys have never had overly complicated plans before,” Tim adds.

“I just don’t understand why you guys can’t be happy the Bruce has found a normal woman for once and let them be.”

“Because nothing that happens to him is ever normal, Jason!” Dicks says exasperatedly. “Who does he talk to outside of us or the league? No one. He goes to work in the morning as Bruce Wayne, he comes home at Night and is the Batman, there’s no in between, no down time. Then ten months ago, this woman just shows up and they’re dating and he gives her a job at the company?”

“It’s not like he’s never dated before or given someone a job,” Jason states with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, but all of them had a history,” Tim adds in as he pulls his laptop from his bag.

“What?”

“She’s a ghost Jason, no past, no present, and if we have anything to say about it, no future.”

“Not even a fake I.D.?” Jason asks standing behind Tim has he watches him pull up the woman’s file on the screen.

“Just a name and a birthdate,” Tim says solemnly.

“Bruce would know all of this then,” Jason states, “Why wouldn’t he tell us at least so we could be on our guard.”

“Blackmail, maybe she has something over him.”

“You do know we are talking about Batman, right?”

“Like I said earlier, brainwashing” Dicks says.

“The kid too?” Jason questions.

“It would explain why he warmed up to her so fast.”

“Guys,” Dick states looking at his brothers, “We’ve got to break whatever hold she’s got on them and fast before she carries out whatever her plan is. Then when they’re free we put her in jail just like we do with all of the other bad guys.”

“Shouldn’t we question her? Figure out what it is she actually wants?”

“Yeah, I mean that was part of the arrest her thing, but I figured that was implied.”

There was an awkward silence as the boys looked at each other.

“Hey guys,” a voice called from the door a long with a knock.

Dick went to open the door and found the woman there standing with Damian looking expectantly at him.

“We were going to go explore the hotel, any of you want to come?” She asked with a wide smile. Her tone seemed happy, and the crinkle of the skin around her eyes made the question seem genuine, but Dick couldn’t help but think of all of the women who’d come before and how real they seemed.

“We are actually on our way back to our rooms, jet leg,” he said curtly. He felt his heart stir slightly when the smile dropped off her face in disappointment and squashed it down inside of him.

Damian looked at him skeptically with a raised eyebrow and a questioning cock of his head, “So weak that you couldn’t handle a quick flight Grayson? We didn’t even change time zones.”

“Yeah well, this was short notice and I didn’t sleep well on the plane,” Dick adverted his eyes from the pair and though he could tell that he was being absurdly childish, he couldn’t stop his annoyed tone.

“All right then,” she said with a nice tone and a pleasant smile but none of the warmth reached her eyes. “It’s just me and Damian then.”

Dick watched as the pair walked down to the hall toward the elevator and then closed the door behind him.

“You could stop being such an asshole to her, if she’s this evil genius you claim she is, you’re going to let her know that you are on to her.” Jason comments from the bed looking over the files on Tim’s laptop.

“I can’t help it.” Dick says plopping down on one of the chairs close to the bed, “it just comes out when I talk to her.”

“We should get some data on her,” Tim says only half listening to the conversation as he fiddled with a small camera that he pulled out of his backpack. “We don’t know anything about her and fighting blindly isn’t smart, we should follow her while she’s walking around the resort.”

Jason and Dick lock eyes with each other and nod in agreement.

“Let’s go do some recon then.”

*** 

It wasn’t hard to tell that the boys were following you. You’d caught Jason’s eye not too long after you entered the dining room and you’d probably would have shrugged him off if he had broken eye contact with you like he normally does, instead his overly friendly gaze caused you to be more aware of your surroundings. After that your keen eyes caught sight of Tim at a corner table in the hotels dining room enjoying whatever food was placed in front of him rather inconspicuously. As you and Damian moved to check out the gift shop, you’d spotted Dick halfheartedly flirting with the bartender not too far away from the store.

“What do you think?” Damian questioned as he turned to show you the pair of sun glasses that he had slipped on.

“Very practical,” you answered absentmindedly after glassing at the wide black frames on the small boy’s head.

Noticing your lack of attention, he turned to gaze at his brother who was pretending to be flattered by the bartender’s attention.

“They think you’re some kind of evil mastermind,” he comments nonchalantly as he placed the frames back on the stand, deciding he didn’t like the feel of the cheap plastic.

“They said that?” you ask worriedly.

“More or less,” he said with a shrug, “I read their lips on the plane, they thought you were going to try and kidnap us, I’m sure they still have the same concerns.”

“Why would they think that?”

“Father doesn’t have the very best taste in women. And besides they aren’t completely wrong about you, are they?”

You meet the green eyes of the small boy and roll yours with a sight, “I’m not saying they don’t have a need to be wary I just thought that your father would have told them about me already.”

“We aren’t exactly open with our secrets,” he says fiddling with a beige pair of glasses that caught his eyes. “How would you tell them that your significant other is a former assassin and is not going to try and kill you.”

“No wonder they hate me so much,” you say with a sigh. “I specifically asked Bruce if they knew about me.”

“That’s a question open to several interpretative answers,” Damian said looking at himself in the shop mirror before shaking his head and placing the pair of glasses back.

“I’ll be back,” you mumble.

“Hey, how much are these?” Damian asks the shop owner who rolls his large weary eyes at the demanding boy.

“They’re imported,” he responds gruffly, “So they cost more, than the others.

The boy waves you away with a hand as he continues to pursue the selection of the shop.

Making your way over to the bar where Dick sat you take a seat next to him.

“So, are you here with your family?” asks the brunette bartender asks Dick ignoring your presence.

“Yes,” he says abstinently as he sharp blue eyes meet yours skeptically.

“Can I have a beer please?” you ask sweetly trying to get her attention.

“Yeah, sure,” she says not meeting your gaze. “How long are you here for?”

“Oh, only a week,” you say interrupting, “I would have planned for longer but we have better service back home and I didn’t know how long I could deal with rude bartenders.”

She cuts her amber eyes at you ready with a snarky comment but your words finally register in her mind.

“Oh! Is this your mo-“

“No,” Dick interjects turning his body to face you entirely, “Can you bring me a beer too, please?”

“S-sure.”

The two of you sit in silence for a moment but when she comes back with two glasses and two bottles of whatever the house beer was. You push aside the glass and take swig from the bottle and put it back on the bar.

Dick does the same watching you warily.

“We need to talk,” you say watching as he places the bottle down.

“Going to confess?” he questions with a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe,” you say looking around the room catching the curious eyes of his other brothers who snapped their attention away from you when you caught them staring. “I’m just worried my confession won’t be as devious as you suspect it of being. Kidnapping isn’t a specialty of mine, after all.”

“You were listening?”

“No, but a little bird told me.”

“Damian,” he says with a roll of his eyes.

“Get your brothers and come to our room after you guys are all done down here,” you say patting him on the shoulder.  “I’ll answer any questions you guys have, okay?”

His blue orbs meet yours and with a sigh he nods his head before taking another swig of his drink.

You smile and pick up your bottle and walk back to the gift shop where you left Damian.

Dick watches with a frown as he watches Damian almost perk up at your return and how he follows you the way a hatchling would follow the mother duck.

“Get anything?” Jason questions as he comes up to Dick’s side Tim coming up behind him.

“Wants us to meet her in Bruce’s room, said that she’d tell us everything.”

“Should we go?”

“I don’t think it’s a trap,” Tim says, “There doesn’t seem to be anything particularly suspicious about the resort, nothing delivered out of the ordinary, normal population, and normal crime rate.”

“So, safe,” Jason says with a shrug. “At least here on the resort. If it’s just her in the room we can take her.”

Dick downs the rest of his drink before standing up, “Let’s go then.”

 ***

Bruce took a sip of his drink as he sat against the couch with crossed legs flipping through the pages of a book that he’d brought with him. Next to him Damian did the same. Their relaxed attitude completely at odds with the tense posture of the boys who sat with you at the small dining table.

The table around you was silent and you bit your lip in hesitation.  You let out a sigh and rubbed the back of your neck nervously and then took a sip of the margarita placed in front of you.

“When Damian was five, I left the League of Assassins,” you state looking in each pair of blue eyes.

You watched as they digested your words and the idea ran through their minds.

“W-what?” Dick speaks up first. He’d certainly suspected that you were who you said you were but he wasn’t expecting you to be so…forthcoming with the information.

“You all enjoy saving people, don’t you?” You question.

The boys don’t say anything just stare at you still stunned.

“Even if you get a little lost on the way,” you say eyes lingering on Jason’s form. “Bruce has instilled in you the want to help people, to protect people. And if you wanted to stop being your ‘other selves’, I’m sure you’d still find ways to help people, because it’s a part of who you are now.”

You swish the drink in your glass around, watching the ice melt slowly, “It was like that for me when I was a part of the league. Except, I couldn’t stop killing people. There wasn’t a moment in my mind when I wasn’t consumed by rage, or the urge to get my next target. That kind of thing wares on a person, even if they don’t realize it.”

“Well, you did, stop I mean,” Tim starts, “Seeing as you’re here now. How did that happen?”

You take a sip of your drink, “I was six when an assassin from the league was hired to kill my parents and they took me as a bonus. I was 13 when Bruce left the League. I never got a chance to meet him or talk with him, but I was old enough to understand that there was a hole that he left there. And that it gave Ra’s al Ghul a rage that we hadn’t really seen before.

“I-we, trained hard. Kids like me were told that we were given a second chance at life at the whim of the League and that we shouldn’t even dare to think about being defiant the way that Bruce had been, and we didn’t, we weren’t. We wanted to do things that made the people who we thought of as our parents happy. If that meant killing an old man or a baby we did it. And it when on like this for years,

“I was 16 when I met Talia for the first time. We were, close, as close as the two of us could be. When she had Damian, I was there. And for the first years of his life I cared for him. She was happy with the arrangement, since mothering never came naturally to Talia, and I got to have a small family that was all my own. When He was four and just climbed his first mountain. Both she and Ra’s were ecstatic about it and I watched as they put him through the same training that I was forced to do. And he progressed fast. Every day I watched him grow and get stronger, harder, deadlier.

“When he was away from me, I worried about what type of danger he was in, what was she teaching him, how was she corrupting him.”

“You loved him,” Dick states watching as the boy’s green eyes flash over to his momentarily.

“I adored him,” you correct with a smile on your face. “And I thought that I would eventually be able to let go like that but I couldn’t. The more attached that I got to Damian the more I realized that I couldn’t stand what I was doing. Killing people didn’t make me happy anymore, it just made me worry for him,

“When I asked Ra’s if I could detach myself from the mission side of the organization he agreed. I was so happy, all I would have to do was one last mission, and I could finally have some sort of peace.”

“What was the mission?” Jason questions.

“Murder a diplomat’s daughter, it was for revenge. The man had crossed the League in some way and I had to take care of it. It was nothing I hadn’t done before, so I thought it would be easy. Of course, it wasn’t. When I snuck into her room and saw that she wasn’t any older than Damian, I couldn’t do it, and so I ran and I never went back

“I travelled for a couple of years’ land made money doing jobs as a mercenary as well as I could eventually Talia came for me and after what was supposed to be a fight to the death ended in a stalemate, she told me that she’d left Damian, in the care of his father and I couldn’t help but want to find him and see what type of heathen’s care she’d left Damian in.”

“And you found Bruce.”

“Exactly, and then I told him my story. He allowed me to work for him and gave me a new name.”

“That can’t be all there is too it, how did you convince him to help you?”

“Damian helped, the rest is private,” you say with a teasing smile on your face causing the faces of the boys to flush in embarrassment and elicit a chuckle from Bruce.

“I can’t tell you everything I’ve done, or who I’ve hurt, I don’t want to go back to that place, but I hope you know I want nothing more than to protect not just Damian, but you guys too,” you end with a warm smile on your face.

“Also,” Bruce interjects, “If she was an evil mastermind you all did a horrible job at letting her know that you were on to her. That whispering you were doing on the plane, absolutely horrible.”

“It was a small space, the sound probably bounced off the walls, we were perfectly stealthy,” Dick rationalizes.

“I told you that you both were being ridiculous,” Jason says pushing himself away from the table, standing up and stretching.

“It’s not like she wasn’t an assassin though, she’s just the good kind,” Tim says with a shrug and then turns his attention to you, “Sorry we thought you were going to kidnap us.”

“It’s no big deal, I’m happy that you all are so proactive. There so much I could teach you all,” you saw swooning slightly, “Non-lethal things of course.”

“Sorry for thinking you were an evil monster,” Dick said sheepishly. “Hopefully we can get to know each other while on vacation.”

“Weeelll,” you start your fingers fidgeting slightly, “Technically I’m the only one on vacation.”

“What?” Jason questioned suddenly reengaging in the conversation.

“You didn’t actually think I was going to leave Gotham for a week unprotected without a reason, did you?” Bruce interjected.

“So, this,” Dick motioned to the room, “Is part of the mission,”

“If it makes you feel better, I picked out the hotels and the rooms, wanted you to be comfortable when you come back to rest,” you say with a sweet smile.

“Ugh,” the three boys groan in unison.

“Honestly, you all were so distracted you didn’t notice the obvious recon that Ummi and I were doing earlier,” Damian says haughtily.

You flush at the term of endearment, but only Bruce seems to notice as he glances over at you with a smile.

“What recon?” Tim questions skeptically, glancing between the two of you.

“The man at the gift shop is a smuggler,” you say matter of factly, “We believe that he is smuggling ingredients into the island for Scarecrow and a new fear toxin he’s working on.”

“What?!” They question.

“And the woman who was working the bar, is the daughter of one of the chemists act the facility,” Damian said bringing up an image on his phone showing the bartender hugging a woman in a lab coat.

“Why, didn’t you say anything?” Tim questioned Bruce.

“A house divided can’t stand,” Bruce said simply, “You all were so worried about what she might do you didn’t pay attention to your surroundings. There is already a chance that some of us may accidently get exposed to the toxin, so I brought you as back up. But having you distracted by the fear that you all built up would have made the situation almost impossible to navigate.”

The boys look away slightly ashamed.

“Well then,” you say finishing off your drink. “You boys better get ready, the suns about to set and the quicker you wrap this up the quicker we can have an actual vacation.”

Dick looks at you with a smirk, “Let’s get started then.”

sugar ❖ sehun

“You weren’t good at describing things, but if someone asked you what Mina’s dad looked like, you would have probably said ‘a first love’.”

admin : - velvet
genre : fluff, smut (in later parts), pretty huge age gap, kinda daddyish, ceo!sehun, angst

(gif not mine, cr to the owner)

| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Epilogue


No way❞ you mumbled as you checked your phone again. The place where you were smelled like fried food and strawberry milkshake, your best friend Mina was playing a game on her phone as she drank her iced peach tea down, the music playing in the background was some Halsey thing that you already heard, but weren’t quite sure of the title. The light in that cafe were neon pinkish and everything felt kind of fake, from the plants to the smiles on the waitresses faces.

If you just stop for a second❞ Mina mumbled taking her eyes away from her cellphone and looking at you. You snapped your head at her, taking your eyes from your phone too and giving her an exasperated expression.

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