Hey! My name is Al and I need some help. I’m currently enrolled in community college for the fall semester and am waiting helplessly for the government to process my pell grant. In the mean time I’m stuck without money until late September.
Now normally this wouldn’t be an issue but my classes start in early August and I am without a way of getting to school, a laptop to do my classwork on, and basic school supplies/clothes for the new year. I would get a job, but I have POTS and a series of mental illnesses. POTS renders me fairly bedridden for a lot of the time since my heart beats too rapidly when I am on my feet and/or my blood pressure drops too low and I begin to lose my vision.
Unfortunately, this leads to me asking tumblr for some monetary help. I really, really need a computer and to get one means spending money I don’t have. If you could help out that would be amazing. If not I understand.
I can offer a myriad of witchy services (pendulum readings, sigils, spells, energy work, etc) as a thank you for anyone that helps me. I also am a traditional artist and can draw you something in return.
Here are all of my ways of donation:
Amazon wishlist: (full of school related things) https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3DCEUFDFD9BJB/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_an_wl_o_JGPuzb6C22RJ9
Amazon email: alkellenberger (@) gmail .com
Thanks for taking the time to read this! ❤
CW: class privilege and shame and stuff, vague generic related badbrains, rich people complaining about their problems, beating around the bush regarding the concept of deserving
I’ve read a lot of humor around upper-middle-class Asian American experiences that I have found highly relatable over the years. One Indian comedian jokes about having an expensive wood table with disposable takeout napkins on top. An article talks about spending more on gifts they bring to family abroad then they ever spend on Christmas or birthdays. I remember having to argue with my parents every time I wanted a new toy, but being given a laptop in middle school. Having money was more about quality than abundance.
Because of this, I never realized how weird my mindset around money is. Buying fast food feels bad, but jeans that cost over $30 feel expensive. Nevermind the fact that a two person meal may cost as much, but not last as long. The first time I bought ice cream from an ice cream truck, I felt shame, not because I had given in, but because I knew we had much better ice cream at home.
I knew this because that’s what my parents told me every time I asked if I could.
In high school, I had a class project with a friend who lived on the other side of town. When I went to visit her, I noticed the lawn was dry and unkempt, the house was messy, and they wore shoes inside. It didn’t look like something out of a catalog, it looked lived in. Home.
I never felt that in the house I grew up in.
There is a weird kind of signalling going on here, where we don’t spend money on creature comforts. My clothes and sheets were cheap and my collection of stuffed animals entirely consisted of gifts from people unsure of what else to buy for a girl who didn’t like pink. But we had a Mercedes in the garage, marble counter tops, and land in India. I remember being told we didn’t have enough money for a toy I wanted because it was over $50, and pointing out in return that we had a Timeshare.
Somewhere, buried deep in my brain, is the idea that I shouldn’t spend money on things I enjoy because it is wrong. There is also the idea that I shouldn’t buy things of “low quality”. I can’t take my family friends to my favorite taqueria. When planning my wedding, having friends help out was like saying you didn’t have enough money to get a “real” person to do it. And even though I shouldn’t buy expensive clothing, god forbid I get anything secondhand.
I don’t actually endorse these thoughts. Over the years I have gotten much better at not judging others for these things (I’d like to say I don’t do that at all, but that might be naive of me; I almost certainly have blind spots here). It’s harder to deal with this when it comes to myself. I have to budget, not so I don’t spend too much, but so that I know it’s okay to spend money on myself. I still ask my husband for permission when I want to make a large purchase (not because I am supposed to, but because getting explicit permission quiets these thoughts). But I also ask him for forgiveness when I eat fast food. I also ask if it’s okay to give things away instead of sell them, or throw away something broken instead of holding on to it in the hopes that I can fix it someday.
I don’t know what this all adds up to. Both my parents grew up lower class than I, so maybe that’s part it. But we don’t often talk about class when it comes to badbrains, and I imagine that as much as class affects the way we view others, it also heavily affects the ways we think of ourselves.
want to try your hand at dex/kent? i think i've started writing two separate thing where they hook up just because it entertains me
I LOVE IT. I’m working on a bunch of rarepair actual fics which have quickly devolved into Dex/Everyone because I have a problem. But I’ve gotten like five requests for this specific pairing so it’s obviously what the fandom needs. My fics take forever though, so in the meantime I’m gonna do a short run down.
SO they meet at Epikegster 2014. Kent is mingling around before he and Jack…go upstairs. So he’s slightly distracted because he’s here for a mission, but there’s so many attractive people here dear god what is with this school. he meets Dex and they get a picture, and maybe Kent drops some bad pickup line, and Dex does not recognize it as such and just laughs.
On the way out, after his blowup with Jack, Kent is stalking through the party, doing his best not to just shove everyone out of the way and he bumps into Dex again. Dex tries to say something and Kent’s judgement is off and it’s a bad choice but look he’s had a long day, so he grabs this 6′2″ player by the collar of his flannel and drags him down to his level and Dex thinks he’s about to get punched until Kent whispers something filthy in his ear and Dex is too startled to stop him from taking his phone and putting his number in it.
“I’m only in town for tonight so decide quick.”
And that is how awkward, stuttering and still half in the closet Dex ends up as the rebound hookup for a NHL super-star in a hotel that costs more money a night that Dex has ever seen in his life.
It’s the most reckless thing Dex has ever done in his life. It is no where near the most ridiculous thing Kent has ever done.
Dex thinks that’s the end of it, just the most ridiculous secret he can possibly think of, until he gets a text from Kent the day of an Aces @ Bruins game, offering him suite tickets for the game and a really nice hotel to stay in afterwards if he wants. With Kent.
Dex still wears his Bruins jersey anyway.
So whenever the Aces are playing someone a reasonable drive away, Kent texts Dex and Dex makes some excuse to his roommate and watches the game from a private box and then spends the night with Kent. More than once Kent has tried to encourage him to accept the plane tickets he has bought to come see a Vegas home game, and Dex has always refused.
They’re not dating. They both maintain that pretty hard. They’re just sleeping together, and watching all of each other’s games, and texting a lot, and talking really late into the night and sharing stories from their childhoods. “Oh no I think he’s my boyfriend” - both of them.
Kent is a big fan of buying people things, he fucking loves to spend money, so slowly but surly Dex gets new skates, a new laptop, half a new wardrobe, a better phone, and anything that needs fixed on his car is suddenly paid for. And that’s just the stuff he had to concede on.
“Sick skates man!” “Yeah, where are you getting all of this shit man? You gotta a sugar daddy.” Dex externally - “Haha shut-up man!” Dex internally - “Oh my god what the fuck I have a sugar daddy.”
Kent has a lot to say, and Dex is a good listener, but Kent is very able to shut the fuck up when Dex actually has something to say. He just…has to learn some patience. Like a lot of patience. Dex does not open up easily.
Dex hates cats and Kent hates dogs. They both very slowly and begrudgingly become the type of people who love both.