i speak according to the book

Don’t Objectify Me!

Summery: Based on this Sinful Sunday Ask

Triggers: Smutty smut, Angry bucky, Dom(ish)!bucky (wasn’t my intention but it happened) Unprotected sex (Before you tap it, wrap it), Masturbation

Word Count: 1600+

A/N: I don’t wanna go to college tomorrow, also the inventor of coursework needs to fight me.

Masterlist

Originally posted by coporolight

‘Do you not fucking speak english?!’ You screamed over at Bucky. The two of you were meant to meet for dinner at one of your favourite restaurants after you had finished work. You booked a table there for 6, giving you enough time to get home and change before you got there.

‘Yes, I speak over 30 languages’ Bucky yelled back at you, taking off the gym clothes he wore to meet Steve earlier that day. According to your boyfriend you had said seven so he thought he could finish at the gym at 6;30 giving him half an hour to get ready. Only when he got home you sitting on the bed, all dressed up and fuming from having to wait for him.

‘Ok. I’ll say what I said to you yesterday is Spanish. Seis!’ your hair was pinned back and styled so you took it out, facing the mirror but you could still see his reflection.

‘You said seven!’ He was now taking off his hoodie and shirt. You were so mad at him but he looked so good.

‘I said six!’

‘No, you didn’t’

‘Why would I book a table at six then tell you seven? What, you think I want to spend quality time with my glass of fucking water’ you finally turned to look him in the eye, but he couldn’t look at you. For a second you weren’t sure if he was angry or upset. But then you heard the metallic whirring of his arm, it was very distinctive when he was angry 

‘I’m not doing this right now’ He turned away from you, his hands in the air. Then stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind him.

‘Good. Fuck off then’

Keep reading

Sir

Group/Member: BTS/Jungkook

Words: 978

Genre: Full on smut, do not read if you are pure, dom!Jungkook, teacher!Jungkook, student!reader

Summary: Y/N gets caught talking in class

Request: anonymous

A/N: The 2nd smut I’ve written that was requested rather than me just adding it in because I felt like it! I hope you enjoy, and don’t hesitate to tell me if I need to fix anything! ~Admin Unnie

Originally posted by purelyjimin

“Why is he so attractive?” I turn to look at my best friend who was looking at our college professor. Now he wasn’t the typical, old professor. He’s working part time with the school while he goes through grad school, so he’s very close to our age. So it’s not weird that she’s ogling him.

“Why aren’t you paying attention in class?” I ask her. “Is your plan to fail this class so you have to take it again next semester?”

“Yes.” She says, no hint of a joke on her face.

“What if he’s not teaching this class next semester?”

“Ms. Y/L/N! Why are you talking during my class?” I look up and meet Mr. Jeon’s gaze. “Well, according to the clock, it’s time for you guys to go anyway. Ms. Y/L/N, if you could stay after class so I can speak with you.”

I took my time putting my books away as my classmates rushed to leave. “You are so lucky to get to stay after with him. I’m so envious.” My best friend says as she left the room.

“Care to explain why you were talking during my class?” Mr. Jeon asks as I walked up to his desk.

“I was answering y/bf/n’s question, sir.” I answer as I lean against the wooden surface.

“And may I ask what was so important that you had to answer it right then?”

“She wanted to know why you were so attractive.” I say, not bothering to lie or beat around the bush.

“And what did you tell her?” He asks while smirking at me, leaning closer.

“Well I definitely didn’t tell her why I find you attractive.” I look up at him innocently.

He smirks again and walks over to the door. “It’s a very good thing neither you nor I have a class right now.”

“And why is that?” I ask just as he turns the lock.

“Because I believe a punishment is in order.” That’s right, I’m fucking my professor.

Keep reading

Alec and his 'biphobia'

I’m writing this essay because I’ve seen countless amounts of people (whether they’ve read the books or not) accuse Alec of being biphobic in City of Fallen Angels. I say City of Fallen Angels because there are no other incidents in these books that could be confused with biphobia. 

While I was reading through this particular passage myself, I found Alec to be rude and crass—not unusual for an 18 year old—but I didn’t really understand why people accused him of being a biphobe. I was reading this book over and over to try and gain some insight into this fact, and it hit me why I found this so weird, because 

a) I don’t think Magnus would stay with someone that despises bisexual people, regardless of how much he loves Alec, and 

b) the supposed biphobia comes out of nowhere, the disappears into nowhere.* 

But I still didn’t understand why Alec would say these particular things, when it clicked. 

Before you all riot and accuse me of being biphobic myself—an impossible feat, I assure you—or just making excuses for Alec, I just want to lay out the scene before I get into the analysis. 

Magnus and Alec have been away for a 7 week romantic vacation for half the book, so we don’t really know what went on or what happened between them in this space of time.** According to the book itself, they have just come from Vienna and an opera that they were supposed to see together, when Magnus gets a text message/fire message/call or whatever from the Institute or Conclave, that Camille, a rouge vampire, has been captured and is being held in the Sanctuary, and will only speak to Magnus. We don’t know whether he knows then that she’ll only speak to him, or he finds out later on, when Mayrse explains it to him. Regardless, he knows that Camille is being held in the Institute, and whisks back home with Alec immediately. Magnus, of course, knows who Camille is, and understands why she won’t talk to anyone else. Alec, on the other hand, doesn’t know who this random vampire is until Magnus says it himself, all the way back in the Sanctuary. To Alec, it seems as if Magnus has cut short their vacation together to interrogate a random vampire.

 (A quick note before I start explaining everything—I’m not going against Magnus in any way, I’m just trying to explain what this must have looked like on Alec’s behalf.

Before Magnus and Alec started dating openly, they most likely didn’t talk about anything to do with Magnus’s past, merely because they didn’t have to time on their short dates, or because Magnus narrowly avoided the topic, and Alec, who hasn’t dated anyone before and doesn’t know how it works, is none the wiser. However, on their 7 week vacation, in which they spend every moment with each other, Magnus can’t really avoid talking about his past sneakily, and Alec is bound to have noticed something off about this, but probably doesn’t comment, because a) we know he bottles things up— as seen in CoLS—and b) he probably doesn’t want to fight during their vacation. Also, in Alec’s own words, (CoLS), Magnus is good at changing topics and avoiding them. Alec most likely has frustration mounting with Magnus, as he won’t tell Alec anything about himself, but of course, like Alec always does, he keeps this all corked up until the bottle explodes. 

I’m not condoning these actions, and Alec and Magnus should have both definitely talked about their problems together, but they don’t. And that’s the whole point of the next book, and the break up. Their relationship is meant to have problems. That’s the plot line of the second half of TMI. The whole point of this is that they talk everything over with each other, and become more trusting of one another, and become a healthy couple again.

Back to my original point, Alec doesn’t know why Magnus has cut their vacation short, as he says himself—“I really don’t see what any of this has to do with us,” Alec said. “So you caught a vampire who was up to something nasty. Aren’t they always?”—so when he finds out that Magnus has cut their time together short because of his ex-girlfriend and wanting to talk to her, he’s understandably upset, after all the avoiding of this topic. Also, before the rest find out what Camille has to do with Magnus, a ‘sort of energy crackles in between them’ when they first make direct eye contact—which everyone in the room notices—and Magnus gives a ‘wistful smile’ towards Camille, which also doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone. Magnus then reveals that Camille was his girlfriend, blah blah blah, and everyone is astonished, including Alec. 

Magnus then says ’I’ve been alive for hundreds of years. I’ve been with men, been with women—with faeries and with vampires, even a djinn or two.” Judging by the way Alec reacts, this is probably the most he’s heard about Magnus’s past relationships—and it’s in a public setting, with Magnus’s ex, Simon, and Alec’s mother, who looks ’mildly horrified’ after Magnus says this. Not very good for the bottle (the metaphor for Alec’s feelings). 

 Magnus and Alec then have a conversation about this, which again, is probably the most Alec has heard of this topic, and wants answers desperately.

 “How many other people?” Alec asked. “Roughly.” 


Magnus shook his head. “I can’t count, and it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how I feel about you.”


“More than a hundred?” Alec asked. Magnus looked blank. “Two hundred?”


“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation now,” Magnus said to no one in particular. 

Simon was inclined to agree, and wished they weren’t having it in front of him. 
“Why so many?” Alec’s blue eyes were very bright in the dimness. Simon couldn’t tell if he was angry. He didn’t sound angry, just very intense, but Alec was a shut-down person, and perhaps this was as angry as he ever got. “Do you get bored with people fast?”


“I live forever,” Magnus said quietly. “But not everyone does.” 
Alec looked as if someone had hit him. “So you just stay with them as long as they live, and then you find someone else?” - City of Fallen Angels. 

 Now, when reading this particular excerpt, it’s very important to remember:


a) Alec is an 18 year old Shadowhunter that has no concept of living forever, and has no insight into the topic of immortality. 


b) Again, this is probably the most Magnus has ever said on the topic of his immortality and his relationships, and he’s only saying it now because the topic can’t be avoided now, as they’re in a room with Magnus’s ex.  

Alec was behaving a little rude and invasive, but that’s kind of the way he is. He’s an canonically honest and blunt character, and hiding things doesn’t really sit well with him at all. We saw how he was when he was hiding his secret from everyone, and to quote Clary Fairchild: 

“[Alec] was a jerk [when I first met him], but he wasn’t a jerk because he was a bad guy. He was a jerk because he was unhappy, and he felt like he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t”. 

Obviously, secrecy doesn’t sit well with him, so Magnus hiding all these things from him will understandably make him more than a little mad.** 

The scene then changes to Jace and Clary, and then back to Camille and Magnus. While we know—the readers and the people in the conversation that takes place—that Magnus loves Alec for who he is etc etc—Alec doesn’t. We can see the facial expressions written on the page, and the tone of the way things are said. However. Alec has been listening outside the door to this entire conversation, judging by the way he acts afterwards, and things he says afterwards, and listening to Camille has obviously struck a bad chord with him. (Camille is a ‘master of manipulation’, remember?) The way Alec acts at the engagement party is because of a few things in this conversation. I’m going to list some quotes, but hopefully I won’t need to spell out how these words felt to Alec, without hearing the way things are said properly, or seeing either Magnus or Camille’s face. I’m going to bold some sentences that may have affected Alec in a particular way.

“I’ve missed you, Magnus,” she said. 

 “I have heard things about you Magnus, I have heard that you are under the wing of the Shadowhunters these days. I had heard that you have won the love of one of them. That boy you were just talking to, I imagine. But then your tastes were always diverse.” 

“But we had all of eternity,” she protested. “You must have known I would come back to you—” 

“If you want me to speak for them to you,” Magnus said, “you have to tell me at least some small thing. A show of good faith.” 
She smiled brilliantly. “I knew you would speak to them for me, Magnus. I knew the past was not entirely dead for you.”
“Consider it undead if you like,” Magnus said. 

 “…[she murmured, her eyes half-lidded] Come here, Magnus. Come close to me.” [Magnus stands ‘close enough to touch her’] Remember, Remember London? The parties at de Quincey’s? Remember Will Herondale? I know you do. That boy of yours, that Lightwood. They even look alike.” “Do they?” Magnus said, as if he had never thought about it. 
“Pretty boys have always been your undoing,” she said. “But what can some mortal child give you? Ten years, twenty, before Dissolution begins to claim him. Forty years, fifty, before death takes him. I can give you all of eternity.” 

 (I know Magnus says something that kinda contradicts what she has said about Alec, but it doesn’t matter. Camille, master of manipulation, has planted the seed in Alec’s mind that will grow. — this is also shown in CoLS. And I realise this was murmured, but Alec has clearly heard it, due to what he says later, so he must have activated his listening rune.) 

 “The Institute door opened, and Mayrse stood in the doorway, outlines by the witchlight behind her. Beside her was Alec, his arms crosed over his chest. Magnus wondered if Alec had heard any of the conversation between him and Camille through the door—surely not?”

And also we have to take in the fact that when Mayrse and Alec opened the door, Magnus was sitting very close to Camille, with his hand on her cheek.

So we can sum up this conversation with:


a) Camille and her words have gotten under Alec’s skin
, 

b) He’s now starting to doubt himself and his relationship with Magnus—a factor in his lashing out later on 


c) Magnus still hasn’t explained to Alec any of this clearly, which is making him feel confused about a lot of things. 

 And so we get to the engagement party, where Alec and Magnus fight. This is the part with the supposed biphobic remark. There are no other instances where Alec’s words can be confused with biphobia. Alec is clearly upset, by his body language, “Alec, his arms crossed over his chest, was staring ferociously into the distance.” There’s then a long pause, and Magnus asks Jordan about his Praetor Lupus badge, and talks about someone from his past openly, something that he probably shouldn’t have done, in the state that Alec was in. Alec then asks, “Did you sleep with him too?” In an obviously rude way. 

This isn’t right at all, and Alec shouldn’t have bottled up all his emotions until they exploded like this, but that’s the part of his character that gets developed over time, so he’s not like this anymore. 

 I’m not condoning what Alec has just said at all, I think it was crass and embarrassing, but it wasn’t biphobia. He’s hurt about the whole Camille discussion from earlier, and the fact that Magnus hasn’t told him anything from his past, and everything else, so he makes a rude and hurtful remark. He’s bottled up all these emotions all this time that we’re threatening to spill over, and now they’ve exploded in an ugly way.

 Alec then says—when Magnus reacts—“Well, I don’t know anything about your past, do I? You won’t tell me anything, you just say it doesn’t matter.” A point worth noting for readers.

 Right. Before I get into this bit, I want to make something very clear. I don’t believe Alec was biphobic in the books, and I understand that a few of the things he said here do cross over with biphobic micro-aggressions, but it had nothing to do with the fact that Magnus was bi. It had everything to do with the fact that he knew nothing of Magnus’s romantic past. He makes these remarks with that in mind, not the fact that he hates Magnus because he secretly hates bi people.*** 

 This particular post caught my eye one day, and it really explains my feelings on this matter.

 It reads: “Alec’s actions towards the Magnus/Camille thing never came about from “biphobia”. It came from insecurity which Alec was in the right to have. It has nothing to do with the fact that Magnus was bi, it had to do with the whole fact that Alec knew next to nothing about Magnus’s romantic past. Something that Camille took advantage of and preyed on Alec. Alec made a mistake, but guess what he learned from it, Magnus forgave him and that was that.” 

 Moving onto what Alec actually says: I’ve taken a photograph of the page so you guys don’t accuse me of lying or whatever, and so you can have the full context. 

Read ahead, bearing all what I’ve said above in mind. 

 As I said before, if you take it out of context, it sounds as if Alec is being biphobic. So if you haven’t read the books (i have no idea why you’re blatantly accusing things if you haven’t read them) PLEASE READ THIS! IF YOU TAKE IT OUT OF CONTEXT, IT SOUNDS AS IF ALEC IS BEING BIPHOBIC, BUT HE IS NOT.**** HE’S MAKING A DIG AT THE FACT THAT MAGNUS HAS TOLD HIM NOTHING OF HIS ROMANTIC PAST, AND THAT CAMILLE HAS JUST TURNED UP. 

 He was also making an indirect comment about Camille; “Or there are plenty of pretty girls here[…]” Alec has noticed that Camille is quite beautiful, (insert quote here) and the way she and Magnus were acting before most likely made him feel uncomfortable. 

 A later conversation shows that Alec was lashing out because he felt trivial, and he didn’t like thinking Magnus was ‘only with me because I look like some dead guy you like.’ Obviously the conversation upset him, because of the topic of him and looking like Will and the over-exaggeration that Camille made suggesting that Magnus had a more intimate relationship with Will, (which Magnus doesn’t deny, even at this point, which was a bit of a mistake.) 

 Magnus says here: “And yes, [Will] did look like you, but you’re not anything like him. Jace is much more the way Will was, in personality at least—and my relationship with you is nothing like the one I had with Will.” The only problem here is, Magnus isn’t being specific.**** ’My relationship with you is nothing like the one I had with Will,“ that could mean anything to Alec, who knows nothing about his relationship with Will, other than what Camille implied. It could mean Magnus was together with Will, but he didn’t love him as much as Alec, it could mean that Magnus’s relationship with Will was more significant, Alec doesn’t know. 

They then say this: 

 In which Magnus is still skirting around the subject, and this is obviously playing into Alec’s doubts. They then talk about immortality, which is a master post for another day, but the point is, Alec still hasn’t gotten a straight answer.

It’s mentioned later that Alec is ’still sunk in a gloom about Magnus’ etc etc, and he comes across Camille when he’s separated from Magnus and gone to rescue Simon. 

 Alec is still insecure about what Camille said, so he thinks stuff like; 

The last thing he wanted was to look like a fool in front of Magnus’s ex-girlfriend,“ 

 ”She was very beautiful.” (connecting to my point about the ‘pretty girl’ thing that Alec said to Magnus earlier) 

Alec wondered if she had once looked at Magnus like this.“ 

 And then he asks about Will, ’The words came out abruptly, unexpectedly, and much to his horror’ and Camille plays on his doubts. 

(This leads onto the next book, which I may discuss on another day, but not now.) 

 Then Alec has a discussion with Magnus, later when he’s out of danger. Alec tries to bring the subject up again, and then Magnus finally addresses it, but he says things in a vague way that don’t really help events into the next book, and then they kiss and that’s the end of their input in this book. 

 This leads onto CoLS and the whole immortality thing and whatnot, but the point is that they didn’t really confront their fears, Alec didn’t really mention his doubts and insecurities, Magnus didn’t say anything more about his past, and this is obviously unhealthy, and leads to problems in the next book. But the relationship isn’t supposed to be perfect. It’s meant have problems. The whole point of these two problems in the books was that then Magnus and Alec spend time apart, Magnus realises that he’s fucked up and made the relationship not so good, Alec realises that he fucked up and made the relationship not so good, then they finally talk properly at the end of CoHF and lead a happy, healthy relationship after that, and tell each other everything. 

They learnt. They made mistakes, and learnt from them, and developed their characters and relationship.

 tl;dr, Alec’s a jealous, insecure guy, Alec bottled things up and eventually lashed out, Magnus should’ve reassured him and told him more, Alec wasn’t biphobic.

At least, that’s the impression that I and many others got. If you have a different view, please feel free to tell me! (If it’s backed up by support and quotes from the books you’ve obviously read lol

* This was what really got me thinking. Alec hadn’t shown any problems with Magnus being bi before or after this book, so why would he become suddenly biphobic for a day?

** Of course, we’ll learn so much more about why Magnus didn’t tell Alec and Alec’s suspicions on their vacations in LBW, so I may come back to this later.

*** Like i said before, I think Magnus would have definitely either left Alec before they got very romantically entangled, or at least sat down and talked to him, if Alec was actually biphobic. 

**** Honesty, it makes me really sad to see people hate on the books when 

a) they haven’t read them

b) they take things completely out of context. 

***** Again, I’M NOT HATING ON MAGNUS. I’M TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY ALEC THOUGHT/DID WHAT HE DID, AND TO GET PEOPLE TO SEE THINGS FROM HIS POV. 

Full House (Young Sirius x Reader)

Pairing: Young Sirius x Reader

Requested: Yes.

Summary: After not being able to find any quiet place to read, y/n heads into the Gryffindor common room in hopes of finding someplace to read.

Rating: Mid-Fluff.

Warnings: Sirius being dramatic, confessions of love, mild language.

A/n: This is my first time writing for Sirius, so I hope it’s good!

Title: Full House

 

You sigh, grabbing your book close to your chest as you walk rapidly out of the library. After you’d picked out your book you had hoped the library would be quiet enough to sit down and read for a while, but the sound of kids walking around, whispering to each other, closing books, taking books off shelves- it was too loud for your liking.

It doesn’t take you long to find yourself in the Gryffindor common room. The first thing that strikes you is the odd lack of noise. It was almost unsettling how quiet it was; there was almost always some sort of ruckus going on. The next thing that hits you is a crumpled piece of parchment. Literally. It bounces off your forehead and falls to the ground with a soft whoosh. Your grip tightens around the book as your eyes scan the room madly, finally settling on a group of boys lounging on the couch.

Well, one boy is lounging, while the others are trying to take up the least amount of space as possible. “Y/n, sorry! Didn’t see you there.” Sirius exclaims, a look of shock barley masking the teasing glint in his eyes. You roll your eyes as a small smile stretches across your face, and head over to the couch. As you get closer to them, you can see that Sirius has obviously made himself comfortable, taking up more than half of the couch, while poor Remus is sitting smashed against the armrest. You glance around to find a spot to sit down and join your friends, but you soon realize there is nowhere to sit. James occupies the lone chair just to the left of the couch, and his face is buried in a book as he stays strangely silent.

“Y/n!” Remus exclaims, smiling brightly at you. “What brings you here?”

“I was trying to find a quiet place to read.” You say, smiling softly. “Which I didn’t expect to be here.” You murmur. “Is there some sort of trick you boys have got planned that I don’t know about?” You grin cheekily. “Is that why everyone’s so deathly quiet?” Out of the corner of your eyes you can see James stiffen slightly and move his face closer to his book while Remus blanches.

“A prank?” Remus laughs and waves his hand in the air. “Oh, no. Not at all. It must just not be a very busy day.”

“Remus…” You start.

“People must be tired.”

“Remus, the common room’s full. In fact, there’s nowhere to sit.” You sigh slightly and glance down at your book.

“Y/n, are you needing a seat?” Sirius asks, shifting on the couch slightly. Your eyes meet his, and you nod wordlessly. “You could always sit with me,” he drawls, “why don’t you come sit on my lap and read your book?” The words leave his lips effortlessly, and James shakes slightly in his seat. Your cheeks turn bright red, but you simply raise an eyebrow at him. You move forward wordlessly, holding in your laughter at the way his eyes widen slightly. However, before you reach Sirius you turn and sit down on Remus’ lap. You open your book rather quickly, ignoring the chuckle coming from James’ direction.

“Y-y/n!” Remus exclaims. You lift the book up slightly to cover your face, peering at Remus somewhat discreetly.

“Remmy, please.” You whisper so that only he can hear you, meeting his gaze and glancing at Sirius quickly. Remus’ eyes light up as he understands what you’re doing, and he shrugs. You turn your attention back to your book and begin to read.

Because of this, you don’t notice Sirius’ face turning a bright shade of red as he stares at his friend, mouth agape. His fist clenches slightly.

“I- I cannot believe this.” He grumbles. “I set up this whole thing! I got everyone I could to come here, we’ve been here hours, just waiting for you to walk in! I’ve made them stay in the seats, making sure there was no room for anyone! A few Sixth years came in wanting to sit down- I almost lost my life!” Sirius’ voice takes on a dramatic tone as Y/n looks over at him in puzzlement. “I- I know I’m not good at this stuff, but I never thought this would happen.”

“What? Sirius, what are you-”

“You’ve fallen for Remus! All I was trying to do was get your attention on me, hell, maybe get you to sit with me! I would’ve moved over, y/n! Bloody hell! I would’ve moved over.” You stare at him and tilt your head. “Oh, Merlin. How can you not understand this?” Sirius stands up, dragging his hand down his face. “I love you Y/n.” Your eyes widen at his confession, and you practically fall out of Remus’ lap.

“W-what?” You manage to stammer, staring up at him with wide eyes. As you stand up fully, the book falls out of your lap and to the floor. “What did you say?” You lower your voice to a whisper, trying to hide the smile that’s pulling at your lips.

“You heard me. I said I love you.” Sirius repeats, meeting your gaze. Now his eyes fill with confusion as you step forward. “But you obviously fancy Remus, so I don’t know why I’m bothering with this confessio-” You cut off his sentence when you practically tackle him. Your arms wrap around him quickly as a you giggly softly.

“Sirius- come on, don’t be silly.” His arms hang at his sides as his face heats up slightly.

“What?”

You pull away and meet his gaze. “Do you think I’d actually sit on Remus’ lap if I fancied him?” Sirius begins to speak, but before you can you sit down next to Remus and pat the cushion next to you. “Now that you’re done being an asshole, there’s room for both of us.” You smile up at him, and at this moment James erupts in a fit of laughter, slamming his book shut and basically throwing it away from him.

“How did you- ever- think that was going to work mate?’ He asks, struggling to speak as he laughs loudly, doubling over in his seat and clutching at his stomach.

“Oh, shove it, James!” Sirius huffs, plopping down on the seat next to you. “I knew exactly what was going to happen. Everything went according to plan,” he murmurs, slinging an arm over your shoulders. You roll your eyes slightly, deciding not to say anything else as you rest your head on his shoulder.

Not as daunting as it seems! There are four ways to change a verb from its infinitive form into the past tense, depending on the subject of the sentence.

Sample verb: РАБОТАТЬ - to work. Take only the stem, РАБОТА, and add the ending according to the gender of the noun that is the subject of the sentence.

Pronouns that go with each ending.

To say ‘I worked’ or ‘you worked’, the ending you use depends on your own gender, and the gender of the person you’re speaking to. A girl talking to her dad will say, ‘Я работала и ты работал - мы работали.’ (‘I worked and you worked - we worked.’)

More examples!

1. Анна раньше так не думала. - Anna had never thought so before.

2. Вчера он читал книгу. - Yesterday he read a book.

3. Я не знала, что у него есть брат! - I did not know that he had a brother! (In this case, the speaker is a woman.)

4. Студенты изучали музыку. - Students studied music.

That’s all! Happy studying!

Things I’ve Heard The Waynes (and co.) Say

Bruce (over the phone): No, Damian, just - [sighs] - yes, I understand that he touched your cat without permission, but that doesn’t mean you can strangle him -


Tim: I only got, like, three hours of sleep last night.
Conner: Tim, that’s really not healthy -
Tim: I was just too busy to sleep, you know? I reordered everything I own according to color, then I learnt the Russian alphabet -
Conner: Tim.
Tim: - and then I started learning Russian, too, because I’d already learnt the alphabet, but I had this sudden idea for this incredible book, so I had to start writing it immediately - 
Conner: Tim.


Bruce: Hey, Tim, can you stay out of trouble for a bit? I have to quickly head out.
Tim: I guess - what’s up?
Bruce (sighs, rubs his temples): Damian tried to insult a school teacher but picked the one who also speaks Arabic.


Damian (to an office worker who accidentally stepped in his way): Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.
Tim: I didn’t know you knew that meme.
Damian: What’s a meme?


Bruce: Who ate the last donut?
Dick (muffled voice, powdered sugar all over his face): Not me


Dick: Tim, when was the last time you got a full night’s sleep?
Tim (starting to back away): Well, uh, the thing is I have a lot of stuff to do in my life, and, well -
Dick: Tim, you aren’t answering the question.
Tim (backing away faster): No, but I’ve got it all worked out, see, and I know how much sleep I should be getting, and I have this sleep schedule worked out for when I need to sleep -
Dick: Tim, answer the question.
Tim: [turns and runs]


Cass: Have you seen Damian?
Tim: Uh, no, but I don’t, like, keep track of him or anything. Why?
Cass: He ate the last piece of pizza this morning, so I have to kill him.
Damian (muffled, from somewhere nearby): That was my pizza, Cain!

Why I ship Jonsa - Reason #2

This is part of a series of my three top reasons why I believe Jonsa will be endgame (even after season 7). If you like, you can read the first reason here.

Reason #2: The Outline

Ah, the infamous outline.

I not sure whether I am actually glad that it was published or not. This fascinating little piece of meta-text – of George R.R. Martin talking about his own book and plot and characters back in 1993 –  is just as enlightening as it is deceiving. However, try as I want, I could not dismiss it as a beguiling piece of information and the more I thought on it, the more it became one of my Jonsa reasons.

Keep reading

Suppressed Ambitions ( Draco M. x Reader)

 Description: Draco and Reader are partnered up in potions class, Draco and Reader have obvious crushes on each other, but neither of them notice the other feels the same way until an encounter at a party later that week.

Warnings: None- well cursing

Requested

Word Count: 1,261


Potions, one of Draco’s favorite classes, the reason why was because he simply enjoyed the subject, unlike many of his peers who hated Snape.

Today was different though, she was in his class today. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) of ( Y/H), not that he had a problem with her- well in a certain way he did.

The problem he had was loving her laugh and smile, being able to watch her simply read a book for hours on end, listening to her voice when she answered questions- her.

No, he wasn’t in love, but he was falling pretty damn hard.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You said in your tags that magnus bane isn't his birth name? I haven't read the books so I had no idea. Do you know what his birth name was?

We don’t know what his birth name was; according to the books, many warlocks choose their own surname or both first and last because they don’t often feel as if they belong to their human parents or family. It’s why their names tend to speak of loss, like, well, Loss but also Fell and Fade

Magnus intriguingly chose Magnus Bane which speaks of destruction instead and this is actually unusual. It says a lot about how he sees himself after what happened in his childhood, and about how he’s come to define himself. From his conversation with Simon in one of the short stories, it’s clear he considers this his only name, or the only name that matters. What his parents chose to call him as a boy is something he’s firmly left behind in the past and he tends to never acknowledge it.

UPDATED 3.0 with MORE PROOF:“I’ll come back for you, sweetheart” - Who Said It and When?

I know I already posted a couple of pages of the TFA novel, but I want to focus on the following facts:

  • That the lines “Stay here. I’ll come back for you.” and “I’ll come back, sweetheart. I promise.” were spoken NOT in Jakku, but in a snowy forest, presumably Starkiller Base, and spoken by a voice that was CALM, KIND and EERILY familiar, from BEHIND Rey
  • That Rey then TURNED AROUND and searched for the source of the voice, and ended up running into Kylo Ren

So this got me thinking, and I might be doing a bit of reaching here, that the voice was not a member of her family. But rather, it was KYLO REN.

She heard a voice speak those words behind her. She turns around and finds Kylo Ren.

POINTS TO PONDER:

UPDATED: Pablo Hidalgo himself has said that the line was spoken by a MAN’S VOICE. Note that he mentioned a MAN, not a boy.

You can read the twitter post here. Read his interactions with other users there as well, it’s pretty interesting. 

Also, the use of the term ‘sweetheart’. While this is not uncommon, it’s a term Han often used on his wife Leia, and it could be something that Ben/Kylo picked up on.

Now, while it can be taken as more evidence of Ben Solo being the one or at least one of the people who left Rey in Jakku (and I do have a theory about it which is my current favorite theory), what if this wasn’t a vision of the past?

Remember that the Force Vision Rey saw is a mixture of several different things: past, present and future events.

So what if Kylo Ren actually speaks those words to her, not in the past, but in the far future? Perhaps by the end of Episode VIII or even sometime in Episode IX? 

Much as I still love the idea of Ben leaving her in Jakku and saying those words, I’m seeing that there’s a lot more sense for these words to be spoken in the future and why they weren’t included in the movie’s Force vision.

In that same twitter exchange with Pablo H. about the voice in Rey’s vision, one user pointed out that it couldn’t have been any of Rey’s family, because according to the book “Rey’s Story”, she has no memory of her family. She does however have a memory of Kylo Ren’s voice especially after her encounters with him in Starkiller Base. One particular passage strikes a chord:

This is the same book, the junior novelization, in which Kylo’s voice was soft, described as though he cared. In the force vision, the man’s voice was described again as calm, kind, eerily familiar. I just can’t help but make the connection.

Now I’m having a head canon wherein there’s one dangerous mission or another, or they’re infiltrating Snoke’s castle or whatever, then Kylo turns to Rey and says “Stay here. I’ll come back for you.” Her eyes widen as she remembers him speaking those words in her Force vision, and she starts to protest, but he kisses her silent, pulls back and says, “I’ll come back, sweetheart. I promise.”

*is dead*

UPDATE: 06/25/16

I just recently did a follow up video for this theory due to recent information that has been brought to my attention by @ mrsariayoureakiller

If you haven’t seen the previous theory, please click on the link in the video above. In a nutshell, that theory posits that the voice which said “Stay here. I’ll come back for you.” and “I’ll come back sweetheart, I promise.” was either Ben Solo in the past after leaving Rey in Jakku, or it is a future event, in which Kylo Ren will say that to Rey perhaps during a mission to infiltrate Snoke’s castle. Again, I highly encourage you to check out that theory so you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, mrsariayoureakiller has brought up further proof that may drive home the fact that it will definitely be Kylo Ren who will be saying these two lines to Rey in the future. The proof is found in both the Junior and Adult Novelization.

Here is the passage from page 35 of the junior novelization:

Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise.

“Yes, I’m here, I’m here!” Rey shouted. Her eyes popped open and she looked around the walker. BB-8’s dome lights glowed on low illumination. The doors were shut. Nothing in her home was out of place.

As always, there was no figure to the voice.

She’d been haunted by a dream. Or a nightmare. At this point in her life, she couldn’t decide what it was. All she knew was the voice came and went as it pleased, sometimes staying absent for months. But when she least expected it, the voice would return, never leaving her alone permanently. Never.

Now let’s compare it to page 178 of the adult novelization:

Turning to run in the other direction, she caught herself just in time as a shuttle touched down nearby. Without the slightest hesitation, the cloaked figure of Kylo Ren emerged and strode forward to join the battle. A stunned Rey could only track him with her eyes. She had seen this man before, in a daydream. In a nightmare.

In regards to the novels, Pablo Hidalgo of the Lucasfilm group has already stated that the printed materials like the junior and adult novelization are considered canon, with some scenes available only in one or the other. With these two being canon, it is very interesting that Kylo Ren is described in much the same way as the voice that had been haunting Rey both in dreams and in nightmares.

Again, I highly encourage you to check out the first theory I put out for this one, as well as my other theory, which posits that Rey was left in Jakku by both Ben and Luke. Any initial questions you may have should be answered in those two videos. 

Thanks again to @mrsariayoureakiller for bringing this awesome tidbit to my attention because it’s an intersting addition to the mounting evidence that the lives of Kylo Ren and Rey are far more intertwined than we realize.

Rogue Fantasy: an anaysis and overview

So for my second term of high school (I do clonlara school, basically an online high school) I decided to give in to nerdery and do a summary on the Rogue Fantasy subgenre. I know, I know, it’s crazy. But here it is.

*Deep breath*

~Rogue fantasy~


Introduction and general overview


Fantasy is an incredibly rich genre, but since it’s birth, it has grown enormously, new subgenres evolving seemingly endlessly. Fantasy as we know is fiction whith otherworldly, unnatural and/or magic elements incorporated to the story and world.


To name a few genres;

There’s High Fantasy & Epic Fantasy – great stories that take place in entirely fictional universes, often letting the reader follow several protagonists’ points of view.

There’s Urban Fantasy, which is fantasy themes applied to an urban, often steampunk setting.

There’s ‘Grimdark’ where the name almost speaks for itself, dark worlds filled with evil and disaster, where the morality of the characters are in most cases questionable.


I’ve recently been reading a lot of Rogue fantasy. Like the name suggests, it’s subgenre about thieves and rogues, where the criminal aspects are key to the story.

However, I’ve had a hard time defining the genre. The books I’ve read during my work with this genre have all fit into different subgenres according to other readers, and because of that, I’ve been able to see connections between different subgenres.


For example, I read a series called the Gentlemen Bastards Sequence – a story of thieves and conmen in a world which is not entirely dissimilar from our own rennaisance world. Someone classified those books as Grimdark fantasy. I read another book, a classic, the Princess Bride, just to realize that this book is more of a 'Swashbuckler’ fantasy novel. Swashbuckler fantasy is mainly about heroism in a world full of adventure, with swordfighting and pirates and whatnot. And then I realized that I could absolutely fit the Gentlemen Bastards books into the Swashbuckler genre as well as the Grimdark genre. And so on.


I think that this particular genre, although it’s a very popular one – with thieves more or less dominating the Young Adult section of fantasy – is rather 'unclassified’. Or maybe that’s the wrong word. Rather that the books can fit into several genres, which would make more sense.


For example, I could see the book 'The Princess Bride’ as a rogue fantasy book because it shares the Swashbuckling action and adventure that many other 'rogue’ fantasy books I’ve read have. I think it’s very important to realize that when talking about different Fantasy genres, it’s often a personal case of classifying it.

1: The Rogue


If I had to name one thing that makes Rogue fantasy Rogue fantasy – it would of course be the rogue herself. But there isn’t just one rogue – there are different kinds. Especially in this genre, the types of rogues are many. I’ve made a list where I describe the different kinds of rogues I’ve found in fantasy fiction.


First off, the word 'Rogue’ means 'An unprincipled, deceitful, and unreliable person; a scoundrel or rascal’.


This means that a rogue doesn’t have to be a thief although most of us probably think of an assassin when we hear the word rogue (courtesy of World of Warcraft) but that’s only one of the many things a rogue can be.



The different kinds of Rogues


The first thing that springs to mind when we think of Rogues is probably the Thief.


The Thief

There are many kinds of thieves just as there are many kinds of rogues, but a thief is always a person who steals, if not, they’d be called something else. The thief could be anything from a professional housebreaking burglar to a lowly orphan pickpocket to a corrupt politician working to fill his coffers on the work of others, But in the end, it’s still a thief we talk about. The fantasy thief we get to follow is often an orphan, either working alone, a miserable soul alone in a dangerous adult world, or they could be a member of a gang, where the orphan works together with others. Often, these gangs have distinct hierarchies where the bigger, tougher orphans keep the younger ones at bay with violence and threats, with the younger ones doing the hard work just to have their stolen goods confiscated by the ones higher up in the ladder. But a Thief can also be adult, of course. Then we’re looking at burglars and pickpockets who could either have grown up doing their job, or have become thieves as a result of for example poverty or bankrupcy. In the end, anyone could be a thief, if there are no other choices.


The Assassin

Another of the most well-known types of Rogues is the Assassin. Just like the case with thieves, there are numerous forms of Assassins; From the lowlife cutthroat waiting in the alley for someone to kill and rob to the professional hired killer that hunts down people in exchange for payment. The typical fantasy Assassin doesn’t usually hold any personal grudge against her target – she simply kills because whoever paid her told her to. For this, the assassin has to be cynical and resistant to emotion. The idea of killing anyone – young or old, king or peasant – has to be acceptable for the ideal assassin. The Assassin is known to work alone. She rarely have friends or close contacts, maybe because she has a habit of not trusting anyone she’s not threatening with a dagger. However, assassin guilds are not entirely uncommon in the world of organized crime. An important thing to remember is that not every assassin is a specialist trained to kill kings and politicians, quite the opposite actually. Being a professional assassin takes a lot of practise and a good pinch of skill, so simple cutthroats and stranglers are common in gangs, working along with burglars or other thieves to achieve a common goal: money.


The Bandit

A disclaimer: When I say bandit, I don’t mean the same kind of criminal as the Thief. The bandit, to me, is a criminal with an adventurous spirit. Think Robin hood, or Captain Jack Sparrow, for example. The Bandit usually has slightly better morals than the thief or the assassin, but that doesn’t mean they are kind members of society. Bandits steal and pillage too. But the bandit is in some occassions almost a folk hero. He steals from the rich and (sometimes) gives to the poor. There are many kinds of bandits. There’s the forest bandit, working in gangs together, robbing kings and dukes and then withdrawing to the safety of the deep forest, there’s the heroic but scumbag-ish pirate, who is the most 'evil’ kind of bandit, there’s the highwayman – an almost ghostlike bandit who appears out of thin air on the roadside to rob you of your belongings. There’s the steampunk freebooter, much like a pirate, often a member of an often dysfunctional criminal gang dedicated to adventure and treasure-seeking.

To summarize the bandit;

Where the thief does it because she has no other choice, the Bandit does it just because she can.


The Trickster

This is a tricky one. See what I did there? No, but seriously, this is where the lines start to get blurry. From the corrupt aristocrat to the orphan street actor, the Trickster is a thief who swindles others. Also often called a conman, this is one of the more interesting types of thieves according to me because it involves so much play. The Trickster carefully plans his jobs, wether they involve the swindling of a wealthy aristocrat or a simple street con. The Trickster is often a richer kind of thief, who can afford costumes and disguises which he or she can use in their jobs. Example: The Gentlemen Bastards book series is about a gang of tricksters. The first book involves them playing a heist against a rich nobleman, seamlessly weaving a totally fake story to get his attention, and then, spinning the web even wider, they begin hauling off bags of money right in front of their eyes. The Trickster often enjoys his job. A personality trait common to many tricksters is good charisma. The Trickster can convince and bluff anyone with a little time and perhaps just a little bit of luck, wether it be that rich, influental lady down in the Ballroom or the paranoid duke in his well-guarded office.


The Bruiser


This is another kind of weird type of rogue because the Bruiser is often not just a bruiser. A Bruiser is a strong person who has experience with weapons and can handle themselves well in a fight. For example, the Bruiser might be a war veteran or ex-guardsman. The Bruiser is a teamplayer, definitely. She is very important in a gang of Rogues. A Bruiser can rough people up while the Thieves empty their treasury, or if something goes wrong in a job, one can always rely on the Bruiser to be there with either her fist, swords, or in Jean Tannen’s case – his two hatchets. But as I said, the Bruiser must not be limited to just fighting and brawling, in many cases, a Bruiser is skilled in the arts of stealth and pickpocking as well

~The Rogue Character~


In Rogue fantasy, the main ”element” is the character, without doubt. What I mean with this is, in for example, Epic fantasy or High fantasy, the world is the focus. Worldbuilding is key. But Rogue Fantasy involves getting personal with the characters. Very personal.


The rogue is a lawless person, who steals money or valuable property from others for their own gain. The morals of a rogue are always a relevant topic in Rogue Fantasy. What separates a heroic ”steal from the rich – give to the poor”-bandit from a lowly murder? Both are criminals, right?


For a rogue fantasy story to be interesting and enjoyable to read, the rogue character has to have some human side that can be understood by the reader. This can and will of course vary from reader to reader. I’ve seen reviews of books with ”evil” characters where I really don’t agree at all – and vice versa. It’s a tricky thing to know who’s going to enjoy the book and who’s going to disagree with the mission of the main characters. Sometimes one can both enjoy the book and also disagree with the characters mission, as I said, it’s a very personal thing.


Gender equality


This is also something that varies from author to author. But the Rogue fantasy books that I have read have actually surprised me. I would have loved to see even more female main/important characters but I will have to give this genre a pass on the gender equality test. Sexism was actually very sparse in the books I read, even Goldman’s 'The Princess Bride’ from the 1970’s, which did include some sexism, but that was in the 70’s and from what I’ve seen and read, Rogue fantasy and Fantasy in general has more or less grown past sexism. But again, this varies. Not all authors are the same of have the same views on society, but I’m very happy to see that the authors I picked for this analysis haven’t dissapointed me.


The Female Rogue


I’m only doing this paragraph because even though the sexism I found while reading was sparse, it existed. I’m writing this to sum up all the positive depictions of female rogues I got while reading.

The female rogue is every bit as skilled as the male one. There is no difference between the sexes. I’ve met tall, brutal killers and short sneaky assassins among the women in Rogue Fantasy stories. Just like their male counterparts. Badass female rogues are very common in todays Rogue Fantasy, which I think is epic.

One of the main characters in Scott Lynch’s 'Republic of Thieves’ is Sabetha Belacoros, a total criminal expert and con artist mastermind.

In 'Red Seas over Red Skies’, in the same book series, we meet the ruthless and widely feared pirate Drakasha, ruler of the Sea of Brass, and her swashbuckling sidekick Ezri.

In Brandon Sanderson’s 'The Final Empire’ (Mistborn series), there’s Vin, the assassin/crook who uses ancient metallurgic magic to gain superhuman powers as she helps ignite the flames of revolution in an autocratic country.

In 'Retribution Falls’ by Chris Wooding, we meet all sorts of steampunk pirate women. There’s the navigator Jez who is hiding a secret which has kept her running across the country for many many years. Most notable character in this entire book: Trinicka Dracken. Bounty hunter. Captain of a huge airship. Cold-blooded traitor and killer. Former lover of the main character. A great character!

Another character, this one from a non-Rogue Fantasy novel is the debt collector Devi from The Name of the Wind. She’s definitely malicious and tricky enough to earn an honorable mention in this list.



2: The Goal


Crooks want money. That’s common knowledge. Often, the goal of the Rogues in a story is a pile of gold, but like most fantasy heroes through ages of epic stories, many Rogues seek adventure. This is especially seen in Swashbuckler fantasy, closely related to Rogue fantasy.

But that adventure is often achieved on the road to that big pile of gold.


Most thieves become thieves because of two reasons: 1), They have no choice, or 2), they have a great greed for wealth and power, and achieving it the lawful way is too hard and takes too much time. To complete this goal of wealth and/or power (the two often come together), some things are essential. Brains are the number one components in the plan, second come nimble fingers for picking locks and cutting purses, muscles for breaking open doors and immobilizing guards and also, very important, cunning. The rogue must be able to think quickly, and act quicker. She needs to be able to make important decisions quickly and under pressure if the situation comes to that.


That’s why it’s important to the rogue to either be all of this things herself if she works alone, or assemble a trustworthy and qualified gang where everyone is assigned their role. Both work. Both have their pros and cons.


Back to the goal.


In many rogue fantasy books, the goal is achieved and the rogues live happily ever after (until someone catches them and they meet a swift end at the edge of an axe or a not so swift one at the end of a noose) but sometimes that goal can be quite nasty to reach. It may take a few books (or seven, as Scott Lynch allegedly plans for his Gentlemen Bastards) but at least in most completed Rogue Fantasy book that I have read, the main characters reach their goal and all is well. It takes a lot to write a story where the main characters fail their goal and still have readers praising the book.

3: The World


Just because I stated above that Rogue fantasy is built on character development doesn’t mean that the world is less important. For the story to be interesting and believable, the world has to be as well.


Rogue fantasy is incredibly adaptive. It can take place in an urban setting. It can be set in High Fantasy worlds like for example ”The Way of Shadows” by Brent Weeks. It can be set in a world historically similar to ours, like in ”The Lies of Locke Lamora” by Scott Lynch, where the world is similar to our own Rennaisance Venice.


I like to think that while High Fantasy worlds are vast and with many different countries and provinces, Rogue fantasy worlds are often smaller and more focused on a few places, usually. Of course, there are exceptions but the Rogue fantasy books that have really stood out to me and been the most enjoyable have been that way.


The rogue fantasy world is often somewhat evil. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but it certainly often has a dark undertone. I think it is there to amplify the dark theme of Rogues and crime, and Victorian Steampunk is a classic theme for these stories.

For example, not that the Sherlock Holmes stories are thief stories – it’s the other way around, but they’re criminal stories set in a kind of dark Victorian england. That kind of world is perfect for rogue fantasy, as seen in the video game Dishonored, where one plays an assassin in a huge steampunk city.


But as I said, High Fantasy worlds suit Rogue Fantasy perfectly. This is seen in Swashbuckler fantasy stories for example, like ”The Princess Bride” and even sometimes, although the world is darker and grimier, in Brandon Sanderson’s ”The Final Empire”.


The world plays a great role in Rogue Fantasy. The character is the main element, while in High Fantasy, the worldbuilding is key, more often than not. But for the story to be alive and functioning, emulating a living society where the Rogues do their play, the world has to be seamless. Who lives in that huge city where the thieves roam at night? Who’s that baker and what’s he hiding in his basement? That rich aristocrat in the fancier neighbourhood, I heard he’s got a stash of gems that could easily be lifted with a little tricking. People play huge roles in fantasy stories. Where they would usually be more ”good” in stories like ”The Hobbit”, they might be more cynical, ”evil” or otherwise wicked in some way. This is especially seen in the High Fantasy series ”A world of Ice and Fire”. That kind of world, like in Martin’s novels, fit Rogue Fantasy extremely well.


A hostile world is a perfect environment for Rogues.


The world has to be functioning like our own in order to achieve as good a story as possible. I’m not saying everyone has to do that, I’ve read stories where the world isn’t really that well-crafted and unique but the story hasn’t suffered from it at all.


Other than those few points like darker undertone and ”strange” people, a Rogue Fantasy world could be just like any other fantasy world.


Summary: Rogues are awesome and Rogue fantasy is the best thing for rainy days, best enjoyed with chocolate and a cup of tea. (based on personal experience)

Sentence Meme: 102 Jack O’Neill Quotes

Some will be more easily applicable than others.

  • Unless he can survive a tactical nuclear warhead blown up in his face, positive.
  • Permission to beat the crap out of this man?
  • Oh, I adore you already.
  • Well i’m going to end up there some day, might as well check out the place
  • Never run with scissors.
  • I’ll tell you what. You look around and I’ll tell you if you’re getting warmer or colder, alright?
  • Talk about falling upwards.
  • Hey, come on! That salsa’s still good!
  • You know… I’d like to take this opportunity to say… that this is a very poorly designed bomb and I think we should say something to somebody when we get back.
  • If someone comes in here, you just bite him in the hand.
  • Yeah. Moonshine. As in booze. What are you teaching these kids?
  • Though a candle burn’s in my house no one’s home.
  • Dogs are my favourite people.
  • Yeah. I’m so proud.
  • It’s all fun and games ‘til someone breaks a nail.
  • There’s still something about you that puts me off my food.
  • Of course i dare mock you.
  • I could NEVER relive that again! Could you?
  • That’s gotta be a record.
  • Hot chocolate? Are you kidding?
  • And that information could save your life one day.
  • Well, they say the first one’s always the hardest.
  • I ask you… What could possibly be in my eye that would explain this?
  • Ah…yes…it all makes sense now!
  • But in the unlikely event you don’t fail miserably, you’re fired.
  • Something exploded.
  • For the record, I don’t care.
  • …I care
  • That just has a nice ring to it.
  • It’s my side arm, I swear!
  • Now see, I assume we still speak the same language, mostly.
  • Well I like to close my eyes and think of England.
  • It’s about flocking and togetherness.
  • I see you’re on that famous beer and mustard diet.
  • You’d think getting blasted out of orbit would have slowed the guy down.
  • For cryin’ out loud!
  • Well I was planning to retire, but man is that overrated.
  • Don’t judge a book by its cover.
  • No, but he plays one on T.V.
  • Holy Frozen Bad-guys!
  • Well I certainly understand what you’re talking about.
  • According to my calculations we are roughly in the middle of nowhere. Give or take.
  • Well, you know, it’s not like we don’t have everything totally under control here…
  • Damn… that was close!
  • I hope you diplomatically told him where to shove it.
  • Oh, I’ve already begun. This is the infamous tuna torture.
  • What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushin’ up daisies here and there?
  • I’ve found that sticking your fingers in your ears and humming loudly solves a whole slew of problems.
  •  What could I possibly say after that? Back at ya.
  • Yeah, is that cinnamon?
  • Well, spank me rosy.
  • Apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger.
  • Oh, there’s not a chance in hell.
  • I forgot to tape the Simpsons!
  • Where’s the fanfare?
  • Hey, if you’d been listening, you’d know that Nintendos pass through everything.
  • What, you’re suddenly stumped?
  • He’s lost a few pounds…
  • Yes, you are what you eat.
  • You’re a friend of mine. Last year, you died.
  • Do you people practice being vague?
  • I’m gonna go eat some cake.
  • Somebody’s gotta teach that guy how to die.
  • ..and yet honesty IS the best policy.
  • Over my rotting corpse.
  • Well you do have a penchant for pulling brilliant ideas out of your butt - head. Out of your head, when we need them.
  • You and I are the only ones here. Trust me, the only thing you have to be afraid of around here is me.
  • All I’m sayin’, just for the record, this is the wackiest plan we’ve ever come up with.
  • I’ve seen this movie. It hits Paris.
  • I only understand about one percent of what she says half the time.
  • I would never say anything like that.
  • That is just wrong on so many levels..
  • Have you ever TRIED to find the bathroom in a pyramid?
  • If I have to say ‘what’ one more time, heads are gonna roll!
  • I think you suffered enough. Hell, I even got to shoot you.
  • Where I come from that’s called beatin’ the crap out of each other.
  • Y'know, I’ve already done that 'freezing to death’ thing, and it’s just not as enjoyable as it sounds.
  • Well, fancy that. We’re famous.
  • Qu'est-ce que c'est?
  • Sex, drugs, and rock and roll?
  • So it’s possible there’s an alternate version of myself out there that actually understands what the hell you’re talkin’ about?
  • I can be as diplomatic and open-minded as anyone.
  • I’m still pretty sure I’ll say: 'Bite Me’.
  • We came to Earth to hide among your people a long, long time ago.
  • You may have come to the right place.
  • Wasn’t I just killed? Killed as in… dead? Well, this is a surprise then.
  • She, uh, she tried to seduce me…
  • Hey! I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I just woke up, haven’t had coffee, let alone a pee in seven days…
  • I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills.
  • You know me, I’m a huge fan of subtlety, but that’s downright encrypted!
  • You want sarcasm? Nice to meet you.
  • He really didn’t say anything but I could tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he cocked his head and sort of raised his eyebrow.
  • No one will know. We won’t tell.
  • Never, in the history of boredom, has anyone been as bored as I am, right now.
  • You ended a sentence with a preposition, bastard!
  • And? But? So? Therefore?
  • Which brings to mind an obvious question: How could you marry such a loser?
  • Actually, that overwhelming desire to shoot you has come back.
  • Oh, I’m [name], all right. That’s the one thing in this conversation I’m sure of.
  • You’re like, what… 140?
  • No, my leg’s definitely broken.
  • If I ever get the urge to help anybody again, feel free to give me a swift kick.
on near’s handwriting

(a mix of personal headcanon and interpretation of the picture below, based on some research I recently did.)

Near’s handwriting is gracious, quite feminine: a neat cursive which tends to slant to the right [1]; its size can be considered small, a characteristic that may be related to his introspective, focused nature. His loops are close (meaning the upstroke nearly overlaps the downstroke) for both the ‘l (el)’ and the ‘e’, possibly revealing some tension that doesn’t get an outlet, trouble in fully expressing emotions, and a certain amount of skepticism [2]. Spacing between letters doesn’t seem to be too broad (look at how the ‘e’ and the ‘a’ in dear almost blend together), which is associated to a certain codependency. Rounded letters are commonly associated to intuition, artistic abilities (do I need to remind you how this boy crafted finger puppets, built complex tarot cards structures and miniatures with his dice, and so on) and creativity (his values according the guide book are 10/10). 

Something that catches the eye is the upward curl in the letter ‘o’, said to be a sign of both secrecy and cautious attitude.

More into headcanon territory, I’d be inclined to think his ‘i’ is dotted close to the stem, which speaks about a detail-oriented mind. He generally won’t apply much pressure on paper, it could sway from moderate (a sign of balanced commitment) to soft (a sign of introversion and also sensitivity – remember this key word from the character’s profile in How To Read?); he’s quite slow in his hand’s movements (methodical and critical thought), and mindful of each letter so he’ll trace them back a couple of times again after writing.

So, what do you think? All of these features pretty much remind us of Near, don’t they? I wouldn’t be surprised if the creators actually did some research into the possible connection between personality traits and handwriting too, and I like to believe what I just described aren’t mere coincidences. You’ll find further notes below!


[1] funnily enough, in graphology a writing slanting to the right is typical of someone ‘sociable and open to the world’, which is definitely  not  the way Near is. That being said, just two words aren’t enough for us to define a complete picture of Near’s handwriting, and slanting to the right may be, again, only a slight tendency. It could also be worth considering what we’re analysing right here (a ‘message’ to ‘dear Mello’); although not everyone agrees on the matter, some studies claim that handwriting may slightly change according to current mood and/or circumstance, so we might interpret this as Near’s way to try and open up/reach the addressee (Mello) in this particular circumstance – but, it may be too much of a stretch, so for now I’ll just leave it here.

[2] This does ring a bell, ‘cause I’ve always seen Near as someone who, overtime, learnt not to idolise people (while still obviously admiring them, and caring about them); also, his views about ‘God’ and some form of ‘Absolute Truth’ so to say, sounded clearly skeptical to me.

anonymous asked:

gonna need to hear Accent Rant Part II: Featuring** Draco Malfoy (**STARRING)

ACCENT RANT PART II: DRACO MALFOY AND OTHER ASSORTED UPPER CLASS TWITS OF THE YEAR 

so you know whenever you watch a film set in England any time between the 1880s and the 1930s there’s always that one posh cock who says something rude and classist and demoralising to The Hero™ while wearing a dinner jacket and everyone TITTERS into their champagne flutes and you know, as you stare murderously at his perfectly parted hair, that he’s going to get his Comeuppance SOMEHOW, even if you have to drag YOURSELF through the celluloid to PUNCH HIM ON HIS ARISTOCRATIC NOSE?

Draco Malfoy sounds like that guy. 

just for example: Benedict ‘bite it… you have to bite it’ Cumberbatch in Atonement, Rupert Everett in pretty much anything, Jude Law as Bosie in Wilde, Achievable Goals Please Jeff in Pride, the classically handsome but predictably shitty one in Kingsman: The Secret Service, Colin Firth in the 1995 Pride and Prejudice (some of these examples don’t fit the bill re: horrid rich dude in a movie, but all of them fit the bill re: horrid rich accent in a movie, so whatever, sorry about it, Colin), every single person in The Riot Club, Jason Isaacs in Peter Pan, JASON ISAACS IN HARRY POTTER, which I will bring up again IN A JIFFY, any Conservative politician in any film – not to mention a great swathe of Tory politicians in real life, but ESPECIALLY Boris Johnson. 

actually, Boris Johnson is probably the best example, mainly for entertaining Parallel Life reasons (PLUS someone actually wrote him as Draco’s uncle/Minister for Magic in a fic once, which I would have found absolutely hilarious if I hadn’t read it the week after Brexit) – him or David Cameron, though I do like to think that Draco Malfoy is more of an Alarmingly Blond, Deceptively Intelligent Career Politician Cultivates Reputation As Eccentric sort of person than a Fucks Dead Pig Mouths sort of person, but then Boris Johnson is at least partly responsible for Brexit, so which is worse, really?

A N Y W A Y, if Draco Malfoy wasn’t a wizard, he’d have gone to Eton, gone to Oxbridge, and then taken up his father’s seat in the House of Lords because you can fucking bet the Muggle Malfoys would be hereditary peers or whatever. he would have only shown up for the votes on, like, rich people taxes, and spent the rest of his time as a member of the Right Honourable the Lords Spiritual and Temporal of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland fucking about and driving all the Lib Dems absolutely crackers.*

*can I just say right now that my political knowledge is extremely lacking, so if this paragraph reads like gobbledegook that’s because it probs is. 

in fact, all the shit I said about Justin Finch-Fletchley’s non-magic AU life? that would be Draco Malfoy’s non-magic AU life, except, unlike Justin, the magical version of Draco Malfoy’s life doesn’t have him ironically located at the bottom of the wizarding and wizard high school hierarchy. Draco Malfoy is the direct wizarding equivalent of Justin Finch-Fletchley’s non-magic AU life. like, canonically. the Malfoys are so rich they don’t work, they have a big, old mansion in Wiltshire, they’re OBSESSED with their own ancestry, and Lucius Malfoy throws money at the government and subsequently has the Minister’s ear despite a) not working at the Ministry, b) having little-to-no background in politics at all, and c) being a pretty much proven baddy. 

and, I mean, if Draco Malfoy isn’t the sort of person who would join a prestigious university drinking club whose Join Our Prestigious University Drinking Club hazing involves burning a £50 note in front of a homeless person, then who would? The Bullingdon Club is basically Young Death Eaters Assoc. (for the record, Draco is the one who’d write the tell-all memoir years later when all his old club chums are in positions of power in the government, Theodore Nott would be the one who rattled a dead pig and then became Prime Minister. I would also like to issue an apology for ever implying that Justin Finch-Fletchley would stoop so low as to shag deceased livestock. he seems like a nice enough chap.) 

anyway. Draco Malfoy is these levels of posh, is what I’m saying. Eton-Oxbridge-Westminster posh. Monty Python’s Upper Class Twit of the Year posh. ALSO, all of this + unnaturally blond hair Draco Malfoy is Magic Boris Johnson. (or maybe Lucius Malfoy is Magic Boris Johnson, in which case Voldemort is Nigel Farage and the war is Brexit. I’m living an AU where Harry decided to stay dead and Voldemort won. ha ha.) 

so yes, posh voice like Boris Johnson.

which begs the question: in a film series in which a good 90% of the characters speak Received Pronunciation English with a Definitive Upper Class Lilt regardless of how they should sound according to the book or, like, the laws of school catchment areas, WHY does DRACO MALFOY not sound POSH ENOUGH? HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO DROP THE BALL ON THIS??? why does Hermione Granger, muggleborn daughter of – I assume – middle class dentists, sound like the fourth Crawley sister, while Draco ‘my father bought seven state-of-the-art, outrageously expensive broomsticks just so I, a 12-year-old, would be accepted onto my school house team’ Malfoy sounds like he’s hanging out in the food court of the Croydon Ikea?

don’t get me wrong, I love Tom Felton. Young Me was utterly enamoured by the slicked back hair and the smirking, and he will always have a place in my heart for being so delighted by Drarry and taking the Lauren Lopez thing so fantastically and for reblogging that gay wizard app tweet. BUT DRACO MALFOY ISN’T POSH ENOUGH. NONE OF THE YOUNG SLYTHERIN DEATH EATER SPAWN, I.E. FUTURE BULLINGDON CLUB WANKERS, ARE POSH ENOUGH. IT IS INCENSING. (I have theories about why, and by ‘theories’ I mean one single theory which is absolutely correct, to do with accent and class and stereotyping and blah blah not Harry Potter-related things blah.) 

at least they managed it for Lucius. Jason Isaac’s intense, hissy poshness gives me LIFE. every time he says anything CUTTING (or what is considered cutting by these PG films) I’m low key like ‘…yesss.’ there’s no way that a snakes-head-cane-concealing-weapon-wielding, ponytailed, hanging-out-at-Downing-Street-whispering-things-to-the-PM-even-though-I’m-independently-wealthy-and-have-no-business-here MOTHERFUCKER would let his ONLY SON AND HEIR sound like anything less than someone who’d been frogmarched to young adulthood by twelve governesses with a silver spoon lodged firmly in every orifice and given elocution lessons from BIRTH. I mean

the only person – THE ONLY PERSON – in the Slytherin Squad who doesn’t let me down is THE OG PANSY PARKO in Prisoner of Azkaban. she has one line and she absolutely nails it. the upper-class drawl. the tone of utter boredom. the way she makes ‘Draco’ seem like a perfectly natural name the way few of the other characters manage. I can hear it, in my head, clear as a bell, like she’s right here in my room with me. “Does it hurt terribly, Draco?” incredible. living art. give Genevieve Gaunt and her strangely on-point name a fucking Oscar. she is the posh we need to see in Slytherin house! the posh to which all others should aspire!! why wasn’t Genevieve Gaunt and her all-girls-independent-boarding-school-sexy-ambiguously-gay-bully drawl cast as Draco Malfoy?!?!?!

it’s only now that I’ve gotten to the end of this long, Boris Johnson-centric tirade on Draco Malfoy’s poshness that I’ve realised his TRUE Muggle equivalent is Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh: incredibly posh, tactful as a brick, quite racist, which you can blame on upbringing, and someone somewhere will eventually start a religious sect believing he’s a divine being. I mean… it’s obvious. Prince Draco. Draco Malfoybatten. it’s all making SENSE!

for the record: Sirius Black also has this accent. carry on.

Turtle mission

anon ask: can I request your again Emma’s kid and you have major social anxiety and only talk with your close family. You kept it a secret for awhile but eventually your mother finds out and helps you get out of your shell

WARNING: MENTION OF SOCIAL ANXIETY , MENTION OF PANIC ATTACK

this end up being a little about Bella x reader , sorry I couldn’t help it , I just thought that it was cute <3

Masterlist / Prompt List / Fandom List / Ask me anything!



“Hey, kid!” Your mother Emma, came to your room with a box on her hands. “I bought some donuts! Thought it may cheer you up” She said, giving you a little smile and a kiss on your forehead. She had been so sweet and patience with you these few days, all since you told her about your problem. Social Anxiety.


“Come on Y/N, it’s going to be fun!” for the 10th time, your mother was trying to convince you to go to this party, and parties involve talking and interacting with a lot of people that you don’t know, and that’s something you can do without being the idiot self that you are. Every time you started talking to someone you just want to run away, you blush, you stutter, you want to die right there or just tell the person to fuck off and leave you alone in your beautiful personal bubble, and lets not talk about the zoo that habits in your stomach, or when you start to loose your oxygen, that’s when you run away from the situation really fast. This are little symptoms that you mother or brother don’t see, cause they are too busy fighting against magic things according to save Storybrook, and you? Well, you are in the library, hiding from anyone that’s not your family, you feel safe there. Bella sometimes tries to make some conversation, but she had taken the conclusion that you’re too shy to speak, so she leaves a few notes here and there recommending you new books to read, and even though you wanted to thank her for that kind gesture you couldn’t formulate a single word.

Keep reading

Bookmas Series: 13th December 2016
A review by Emily Pite


Through the Language Glass - Guy Deutscher (Non-Fiction)

Rating: 8/10

The book begins by discussing the issue of colour and how the writer Homer saw the sea as “wine dark” and sheep with “violet wool”, this intriguing observation of colour in Ancient Greece is presented by Guy Deutscher as he explains William Gladstone’s argument (the politician and a linguist on the side) that our ability to see colour has developed from a limited palette. Deutscher explains why there is such a difference in colour then compared to now (spoiler alert: it’s not because our sight got better). Deutscher poses three main questions in his book: Does language reflect the culture of a society? Do we perceive the world different because of our first language? And can different languages lead their speakers to different thoughts?

I enjoyed the book as it posed interesting questions and made me consider certainties that I had always presumed to be evident. With easy to follow explanations of topics that would otherwise only make sense to a linguist this book gives full answers with examples of languages from French to Higi (a language where there is no reference to time). However the book is frustrating as the questions posed are enticing but he mocks the theories that suggest the world changes according to what language you speak even though the title suggests there may be an explanation within the book as to why it ‘Looks Different in Other Languages’.

It was the killing blow...

Scenario: The group is fighting a giant visceral mass of cloned versions of our characters fused into one unholy beast, rightfully called ‘The Cronenberg’, due to a mad scientist wanting to clone deadly warriors and use them for profit. Needless to say, it back fired horribly. 

Any-who, the group of one dragonborn(Sylvara), wood-elf(Jun), halfling(Melch),and homebrew-clown-monster(Vuuvie) are beating the tar out of this creature as it then begins a charge at the group (which it did not have enough movement to finish on the first turn). So everyone was distancing themselves from the creature as well as they possibly could to fire arrows while Vuuvie, like the little meat-shield he is, stands on the front-line to try and do what he can. This is what followed:

DM (OOC): “Okay, the Cronenberg is charging, what do you do?”

Sylvara (OOC): “Attack it with arrows.”

//They deal a good chunk of damage.//

Jun (OOC): “Arrows.”

//Also deals a great deal of damage.//

DM (OOC): “Melch is still cowering in fear, so it is Vuuvie’s turn.”

Melch (OOC): "Damn…“

Vuuvie (OOC): “Okay, Vuuvie uses Dissonant Whisper on the Cronenberg.”

DM (OOC): “Okay.”

Vuuvie (OOC): “Seemingly out of thin air, A large book falls into his hands. The thickness of the tome only seems to assure that the content inside must be powerful. Little does everyone know that this book was filled with atrocities from across the multi-verse. All unsuitable for any ears, and cursed to bring torture and torment to all those that will have the chance to lament for their sense of hearing.”

//The DM is wondering where I am going with this.//

Vuuvie (OOC): “Vuuvie flips through the pages and speaks in dark utterances toward the Cronenberg.”

Vuuvie: “According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way for a bee to fly. It’s wings are too small to get its fat body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.-”

//The beast killed itself out of pure misery.//