i sound shit at the start but i get better i swear

A thing I will never properly write:

His sophomore year, Bitty starts vanishing from 6-9 every Wednesday night and comes back to the Haus looking really happy. Jack notices (of course he does) and awkwardly brings it up (on one of their not dates for coffee) and it turns out Bitty is going to one of the school’s (many, many) LGBTQAI+ group meetings and is like “PLEASE do not tell the boys about this, let me have this one thing” so Jack is like “of course” and totally doesn’t notice how even more people are waving to Bitty when they walk to class, or how Bitty seems to be getting even MORE texts, like, all the time. 

(He definitely doesn’t hear Bitty arriving home verrrrry late one night and ending up humming all smiley to himself while he cooks breakfast the next morning, a hickey not quite hidden by his collar.)

ANYWAY. 

One Saturday night Jack gets a phone call, and it’s Bitty, and he sounds furious and wants to know if Jack can please pick him up RIGHT NOW, so Jack goes to get him.

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Modern Day Hogwarts!AU

Originally posted by rose-wexsley

  • Oh my GOD being a Witch/Wizard in the 2010-2017 era would be so much fucking fun I swear I’ve never wanted to be a modern witch more than I do now
  •  Imagine every Friday night to celebrate the weekend, whatever year you’re in has a battle of the bands tradition, where everyone gathers in the Hufflepuff common room to rock tf out.
  • Pureblood student’s learning muggle music and instruments and LOVING it.
  • Every person in the year having mad hangovers the next day, and being dragged to the Quidditch pitch. All of the older students who attended the battle the previous night would all be dying, some of them even conjuring their own potions in an attempt to stop their hangovers.
  • FUCKING FIRST/SECOND YEARS DABBING 
  • “10 points to Ravenclaw” *AGGRESSIVELY DABS* 
  • If you weren’t in Hufflepuff yourself, the Hufflepuffs would be so fucking annoying. In EVERY SINGLE HOUSE EVENT they would all be chanting this song. (Even better if there was a Hufflepuff vs Slytherin Quidditch match and all the fucking Hufflepuff’s start shrieking the snake part)
  • I’m convinced there would be a Wizarding equivalent to social media apps like vine, instagram etc. Imagine the fucking vines that would be made through the school year im dyigreqdasiuf
  • Some Ravenclaw students using the room of requirement as a gym, because they know not only the importance of a healthy mind, but a healthy body too. Some Gryffindor students tagging along too when they notice what they’re up to, interested in muggle ‘leg day’, as they call it.
  • Piercing’s getting banned but most students being like lol fuck ya, wearing nose rings, septums etc all the time without fail.
  • Skater kids would enchant their skateboards to be able to hover, riding them in the corridor to their classes. Some teachers like Professor Longbottom would let it slide, others such as Filch wouldn’t be as forgiving.
  • Voldemort would become a meme.
  • He would definitely be a meme oh my god I am CONVINCED of this
  • In the History of Magic studies, the selected teacher would be expressing how dangerous and fearful the Dark Lord had once looked, one of the Slytherin students yelling out, ‘He doesn’t even have a bloody nose?! Dark Lord my arse.”
  • Muggle born students would take their pureblood friends to Muggle music festivals like Glastonbury and Reading Leeds, and they would go OFF. 
  • Wizards/Witches enchanting their camping tents so it’s like a small cabin, so it wasn’t uncomfortable to sleep in after a long day of seeing all the bands.
  • Kids who stay over the Christmas holidays would so stay up and play beer pong for New Years- all the Ravenclaws using advanced magic to cheat.
  • In Charms class, the students in their last year would do the mannequin challenge, making objects levitate while someone records it all.
  • Gryffindor students being annoying little fucks and trying to see how many teachers they could get to dab over the year. This turns into an annual house event for students, Slytherin always winning.
  • For Halloween all the older students enchanting their image to look like professors, which may become problematic through the day.
  • Hufflepuffs coming to class stoned, but never get told off for it. Sure, the odd point or two will be taken away if it’s that obvious, but those little shits always get away with it. Bonus points because their common room is so close to the kitchen.
  • If you haven’t heard this song before, I believe the Gryffindor would change the lyrics to “Gryffindor sound, we aint fucken around, fuck our classes man so we keep it underground, cause potions each day got me feeling like shit but it’s all worth while when the weekend hits.”
  • Slytherin students playing odds on, getting their Gryffindor mates to jump into the black lake to see the giant squid. 
  • Muggle borns taking their pureblood friends to rugby/hockey/soccer games, and them not having a fucking clue what’s going on.
  • KIDS IN THE CHOIR USING THEIR FUCKING FROG’S TO DO DUBSTEP AND TRAP BEATS FUCK 
  • Students using Snapchat to record small snippets of Mandrakes screaming then slow it down- Professor Longbottom finds this hillarious.

    FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LET ME SEE WHAT YA’LL GOT
bad | 06

he was the cliché bad boy. he was the guy you couldn’t stand. he was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. he was a brat. you had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by jjks

TITLE: bad | 06

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader (ft. kim taehyung)

GENRE: future smut, romance, fluff, angst(?), badboy!au

WORDS: 5 125

WARNINGS: mature themes, language

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon ↠ 

A/N: here IT IS! for all you children who are waiting for smut, do not worry, I know. just be patient ;) remember, everything happens for a reason. don’t kill me for this.

masterlist

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Massages

4.2k of smut, I’m not even sorry

‘OUCH! Stop, st- STOP IT PANSY! Argh, fuck, I think I broke a rib.’ Draco sat down on his bed, a painful expression on his face which was paler than usual.

‘You’re an ungrateful bastard’ Pansy flopped beside him, pouting ‘the whole Slytherin house knows I’m the best on giving massage’

‘Well, I better look for someone from other houses then’ Draco made another pained expression as he got up. ‘I can’t, I can’t walk. Argh, fuck!’ He laid down slowly. Pansy only stared at him from the door, the look on her a face a mixture of pity and remorse.

‘I’ll get someone. Even though you were a little bitch just now.’ She glared at him before leaving.

It’d started three days before then. He was getting ready on Wednesday morning to practice quidditch. Everything was fine when he bent down to tie his shoelaces, but the second he straightened his back an acute pain hit him on his hips. It’d gotten worse the past two days to the point now he couldn’t even sit properly without feeling it.

He laid there, thinking maybe he would have to look for Madam Pomfrey after all. But fuck, those potions always messed up with his stomach, he’d do anything to avoid taking them even if it meant asking for someone he didn’t know to give him a massage. Pansy had told him she knew what she was doing but at the end it’d only worsened it.

***

'It’s for a friend, you see. He’s in a lot of pain at the moment and I was hoping you knew someone good on giving massages’ Pansy flopped down on a chair at the eighth year common room.

'Well,’ Hermione started, closing her arithmancy book. 'I do, but… who exactly is this friend of yours?’ She gave Pansy a look that could be translated as 'Are-we-talking-about-who-i-think-we-are-talking-about?’

'Draco’ Pansy sighed, predicting the other’s answer. 'But… I swear he’ll behave. And you owe me this one, right? After I brought you those French hair products’ Pansy smirked.

'You really are a Slytherin’ Hermione sighed 'but they were actually amazing. I’ll help you with this one but I can’t guarantee it’ll go well.’

Pansy gave her a quick hug, grinning. 'Who is it then?’

'Harry’ Hermione murmured to herself.

Pansy gasped and then laughed until tears were streaming down her face.

'Holy. Shit. Are you sure he’ll want to do it?’

Hermione gave her a little smile.

'He owes he a favor’

Pansy’s giggling was catching the attention of everyone around them.

'Who’s the Slytherin one now?’

***

'Tell me how amazing I am’

The girl bursted inside his dorm an hour after she’d left to find Draco in the same position.

'You found someone?’ He got up, regretting the decision immediately. 'Ah, shit! Are they outside? Please tell me they’re outside’

'They’ll be here in ten’ Pany sat by his side and poked his cheek 'go on, tell me how amazing I am’

'You’re amazing’ he grunted. When he looked at his friend, though, she wasn’t paying attention, busy with a little pink bag Draco hadn’t noticed she’d brought before. 'What-’

'Oils. For the massage’ she smirked and Draco felt blood going to his cheeks.

'There’s no need for that’

'They have properties. They could help’ she started to take the little flasks with different colors out of the bag and pile them on Draco’s bed.

A light knock on the door told them Pansy’s friends had arrived.

'C'mon in!’

'I just don’t understand why… No. No fucking way.’

'Harry, please, Pansy said-’

'What the actual fuck, Pansy!’ Draco started talking at the same time Hermione tried to stop Harry from leaving the room. 'This is… ah, shit shit- ARGH!’ Draco’s attempt to get up brought back the striking pain on his lower back and he felt his knees failing. The next second he was tumbling to the ground with a loud thud. Tears came uninvited to his eyes and he bit his lips as hard as he could to stop from screaming.

Draco didn’t look up to see who it was that was trying to help him get up. A firm hand went on the underside of his thigh as the other grabbed his shoulder firmly, pushing him to his feet just long enough for him to get to his bed. When he collapsed on his bed, flushed cheeks and tears still streaming down his face, everything he could think about was that maybe his time had come. Die would be better than suffer so much humiliation in front of Saint Potter, who was panting by his side.

Harry stared down at the boy in front of him, Malfoy’s face twisted in an ugly expression. It was like he was trying to sneer at Harry but the pain was too much even for that. Harry sighed and turned to see he was left alone in the room with an incapacitated Malfoy. Well, shit, that was just great. Why couldn’t people just leave him alone? Peace, it was all he was asking for after everything. But, oh no, he had to have asked Hermione for help with his potions homework the week before, and now he owed her this. Harry wouldn’t have denied giving a massage to any of his friends if they’d asked him. He’d helped Hermione, Ginny and even Luna in the past. But Malfoy? Give Malfoy a massage, after everything, almost sounded funny.

Except it wasn’t because Harry had a hero complex and he knew Malfoy wouldn’t ask for such a thing if he wasn’t desperate. It wasn’t even Malfoy who came looking for Hermione, it was Pansy, which meant he probably was in a lot of pain. He couldn’t walk, from what Harry could see.

Small flasks caught his attention, all of them pilled up beside Malfoy.

'What’s this?’ He grabbed one and put it against the light. The liquid inside was thicker than water.

'Oils. Pansy brought them. She said they could help. Not like you need to know this anyway since you won’t use them.’ Malfoy spoke through gritted teeth, facing the wall opposite to where Harry stood. So he was expecting him to leave, that cocky bastard.

'Take off your shirt then’ Harry levitated all the tiny flasks to the ground and picked up one randomly. When he opened it the smell of cinnamon filled the room. Malfoy stared at him like he’d gone insane.

'What do you think you’re doing?’ he asked slowly.

'Well, maybe a massage since that’s what Hermione asked me to do and I can’t have a fucking moment of peace in this castle. And since you seem to be unable to even walk I advise you shut the fuck up and take off your shirt so I can see what’s wrong and finish in time for dinner’ Harry looked up to find Malfoy gaping at him.

'Do you even-’

'Yes, I do know how to do it, you prick. And I’m using this one, so take off your shirt’ Harry signaled to the open flask in his hands as he sat down on the far end of the bed.

He didn’t quite know how the oil would help since he’d never used them when he gave massages before. He liked the smell of it, that was all.

Malfoy struggled to sit down. He undid his tie, opened every button and started to take it off, really slowly trying not to move too much, wincing everytime he did. He folded his shirt and put it on the chair beside the bed. Harry couldn’t help staring at the huge scars on his chest he knew he was responsible for. Guilt settled on his stomach as he tore his gaze away.

'Lay down on your stomach’ Harry got up and sat beside Malfoy’s body as close as he could without brushing their thighs. It was ridiculous, he knew, since he would be touching him quite soon. Malfoy did as he was told and stilled, realising what that meant.

And what it meant was that, like that, he was completely vulnerable. He turned his face to Potter’s side and searched the other boy’s face for any sign of danger but all he could see was a frown as Harry dripped the oil in his fingers. Draco felt his cheeks heat up for some reason he didn’t understand.

'I’m going to start’ Potter’s voice was low when he spoke. Before Draco could say anything Potter’s hands were on his shoulders, placed at the same distance from the centre of his back. They were warmer than Draco’s skin, soft and sticky with oil. His breath got stuck on his throat  when Potter squeezed and, even though his lower back still hurt, Draco felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. He exaled, relaxing into the matress.

Harry maintained the rhythm for a while, squeazing and releasing Malfoy’s shoulders, his thumbs pressing small circles on the other’s neck as he did. Harry, then, started to let his hands go lower, maintaining the pressing of his thumbs as he did until he reached the high of Malfoy’s kidneys. He stopped there to smear his hands with more oil.

'Where did the pain start?’ Harry found his voice was hoarse when he spoke.

'Hm… my hips’ Malfoy sounded sleepy when he spoke. He was so relaxed Harry had to hold back a giggle. He must really be great at giving massage if it meant even Malfoy was enjoying it.

He stopped shortly.

'Your hips?’ Shit, he wasn’t expecting that. 'Er… okay. I’ll- I’ll need you to lower you trousers a bit.  

'What?’ Draco opened his eyes, snapping out of his daze. What did Potter just say?

'So I can reach your hips. I can’t do much with them in the way’ he said slowly, almost like he expected Draco to start yelling at him.

'So you want me to take off my pants?’ Draco couldn’s believe what the fuck was going on.

'No! Just- Just open it, okay? I can do the rest…’ Draco stopped for a second. He reached for his buttons, opened them and laid down again. He turned his face the other way since he was pretty sure he was blushing. Shit, Potter better know what he was doing.

Harry exhaled gradually. He most definitely didn’t know what he was doing. Well, he did, but he shouldn         ’t be doing this. He should’ve stopped, told Malfoy to go look for Pomfrey and got out of there.

Instead he placed his hands on Malfoy’s lower back again. He rubbed his thumbs in circles there, with less pressure this time, and started to press lower as he did. He reached his trousers but since the buttons were open it hang loose on Malfoy’s hips. Harry let his thumbs go under the waist and Malfoy froze.

Harry exhaled again. 'This will probably hurt but if it doesn’t work I’ll know what I have to do, okay?’ He pulled his trousers lower until he could see the other’s boxers. They were black, just like his trousers. Harry could see the fine blond hair that covered his lower back was up.

'Just don’t break my bones’ His tone was sarcastic.

Harry had his weigh on one knee which was pressed against the matress, both hands on Malfoy’s hips.

'Inhale’ Harry instructed. 'Hold’ Malfoy did as he was told.

'Exhale’ he pushed all his weight on his hands as quickly as he could. Malfoy screamed and Harry cursed. They were panting, Malfoy still too shocked to say anything.

'It won’t work, not like this’ Harry got off the bed to take off his shoes. When he looked back Malfoy was staring at him with a strange expression on his face, fear mixed with something else. Was it anticipation?

'This will work’ Harry got on the bed again and before malfoy could say anything he passed one of his legs over the blond’s body, straddling him. Harry sat on Malfoys thighs, trapping him so he couldn’t turn around.

'WHAT THE FUCK, POTTER?’ Malfoy tried to free himself but Harry pinned both Draco’s hands above his head in a strong grip.

'I’m telling you this will work! Stop fidgeting and shut up!’

But focusing on Potter’s words was hard since all he could sense was the warmth and pressure on his thighs, so close to his ass. He’d never felt anything like that before, something disturbingly intimate and his whole body was reacting as if it was. He closed his eyes, cursing inside his head as blood rushed into his cock. Fuck fuck fuck, this wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be…

'Inhale’ Potter’s words resonated closer to his ear than before. He shivered, inhaling as deep as he could. 'You need to relax’ Potter’s voice came out hoarse, his thumbs still tracing circles on his hips. Draco shuddered but felt his shoulders lose tension again.

'Inhale’, Harry repetead. 'Hold’ And Draco did.

Potter shifted on his thighs and Draco almost forgot what he was supposed to do.

'Exhale’ he did it again, placing all his weight in his hands, his thighs pressing hard against Malfoy’s as he did. A loud crack made Harry smile and Draco scream.

And then Malfoy let out a loud moan and Harry lost his train of thought.

Suddenly all the blood in his brain was going down, making his pants too tight. His ears felt like they were full of water when he heard Malfoy hum against the pillow.

'It worked’ Draco breathed, lifting his hips a bit to check if the pain was still there. The motion caused his ass to rub against something hard.

Draco gasped.

Harry moaned low.

Draco’s hips rose up again, higher, rubbing harder against what he knew was Potter and fuck, he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. And then Potter pressed down, literally pressed against Draco’s ass so he could feel it, the whole length even through the fabric. Potter was hard, really hard and Draco felt his own cock twitching at that.

Draco moaned, the sound ringing in Harry’s ears. He should go, he knew he should, but Malfoy was panting, and lifting that roundy ass for him, to rub against him, and Harry saw his face when he turned his head to the side. His cheeks were flushed and lips parted.

Harry pressed again, leaning forward until his mouth was just above Malfoy’s left ear.

'Do you want me to go?’ He needed to be sure, to be certain he wasn’t imagining all that.

Malfoy gasped, his eyes tightly shut. 'No’ He lifted his arm, grabbing Harry’s thigh and craving his nails on it. Harry bit his earlobe, went for his jaw and started sucking there.

Draco’s cock was throbbing beneath him, so hard he was sure he might faint any second.

The next minute the pressure against his ass was gone making a small cry escape his lips. Fuck fuck, Potter must have come to his senses before he did…

His pants were suddenly yanked down to his knees, his boxers with them. The sudden movement ccreating friction against his cock, now leaking on the matress. Draco was sure he couldn’t blush any harder but it didn’t stop him from moaning when hands grabbed his arse cheeks. How come he didn’t know he could get pleasure from there? Potter’s hands were everywhere, squeezing, pinching, scratching the soft skin.

Harry opened his cheeks, exposing his hole and run his thumb there tentatively.

'Ah- ha fuck…’ Draco buried his face in the pillow again. This wasn’t right, this was so fucking wrong, what was he doing moaning for…

'I wanna eat you up’ Harry didn’t mean to let the words escape his lips. His gaze was fixed on Malfoy’s pink hole and when it contracted under his thumb the thought of licking there, fucking him with his tongue, assaulted his mind immediately. Malfoy shivered under him.

'Wh-What are you saying?’ the tips of his ears were even redder from where Harry could see them.

Harry got off of Malfoy’s thighs and pushed them apart. He grabbed Malfoy’s hips again, pulling his ass up a bit. He could see the blond’s cock was hard and swollen, rubbing against the matress. Harry got on his elbows, squeezed Draco’s arse again and bit the already marked skin.

Draco gasped, his head jerking to the side so he could get a glimpse of Potter between his legs. Potter was sucking him at the spot he’d bitten before, his hands massaging the place where his thighs met his ass. He run his fingers there, grabbed his arse cheeks and pulled them apart. Draco drew a sharp breath.

He could hear Harry fidgeting with his own pants followed by the sound of clothes hitting the ground. Draco waved his hand towards the door, a click signalling it was now locked. He couldn’t even begin to think what would happen if anyone decided to come in.

Draco felt something wet, warm and firm press against his hole.

'Fuck fuck, you can’t- ah… ahhhh P-Potter this is…’ he gave a choking moan when Harry began to lick him relentlessly, his own moans reverberating in Draco’s skin.

Harry licked, savoured until his tongue got past the tight ring, and then he was fucking Draco, fucking him with wet and hot thrusts of his tongue. Draco kept pushing  back, gasping as he did, completely out of control.

Harry had never done that before but the sencond he laid eyes on Draco’s ass, naked before him all he could thing about was opening him, filing him up to get all those delicious sounds out of him.

Draco moaned, and moaned, louder each time. The words that came out of his mouth were incoherent, interrupted by sharp intakes of air.

'Yes… This- fuck Potter… I-deep-deeper’

Deeper, he wanted it deeper. Harry grasped the tiny flask he’d left on the ground and smeared his fingers with the oil again. He retreated his tongue earning a whimper from Malfoy that turned into a sob the second Harry’s middle finger replaced his tongue, getting in smoothly. Draco gasped, shivering uncontrollably and Harry just stayed there, mouth hanging open at the view. His finger disappeared and reappeared, Malfoy sucking him in while rutting against the matress. Harry curled his finger experimentally getting Malfoy to jolt and scream, throwing his head back. Harry caressed his thigh marked with purple bruises, another finger going inside his hole. The blond hissed but didn’t tell Harry to stop so he thrusted them to the base.

Draco’s brain was shutting down. The lewd sounds filling the room paired with the smell of cinnamon overstimulating his whole body. He wanted more heat, more pressure, more skin against his but the words kept getting lost in his throat everytime he tried to voice his needs. And Potter, fuck, he knew what to do with his hands, with his mouth. That fucking tongue worked like magic inside him. Potter was moving his fingers inside him in a way Draco didn’t even know was possible, scissoring them, thrusting them to the base.

The fingers were suddenly gone. Draco inhalled sharply but before he could complain Potter grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. He laid there on his back, legs spread open, cock dripping with pre come. And Harry stared him down, took in every inch of his light skin shamelessly. Draco felt exposed even though they were both naked. His hole twitched, stretched and leaking all the oil Potter had rubbed inside him and Potter stared. He fucking stared, jerking himself as he did.

Draco grabbed his own cock and began to do the same. It was unfair, having to do it all by himself after all Potter did, that bastard. The gesture caught the Golden Boys’s attention, though, and Draco smirked.

'i want,’ Harry bent down, their chests flushed against each other, his mouth whispering in Draco’s lips. 'I want to put it in you’ he sucked Draco’s lower lip. Holy fuck, he was on the edge already. Potter moved his lips to Draco’s ear and shifted, the head of his cock now poking Draco’s entrance. Draco felt it tingle as Potter cast a protective spell. 'I want to fill you up’ he whispered against his ear.

'Fuck, fuck…’

'Has anyone ever done that?’ he nuzzled Draco’s temple, his glans rubbing against his hole. 'I’m going to take you’ Harry hold his cock steadily as he pushed an inch, stretching Malfoy for him. The blond was panting on his cheek, small sobs inbetween gasps for air.

Harry’s ability to dirty talk, even as his own mind wasn’t working properly was something he didn’t know he could do. He was blushing, panting, but the possessivness he felt made him talk. Malfoy was his, all his, he just never thought that that anger, the rush of adrenaline he felt every time they were close could be hiding something else. He always thought Malfoy was his to take down, to fight against. But he also was his to consume, to bury himself into.

Harry thrust slowly, taking in the tightness, the heat engulfing him. Malfoy was fisting his cock under him, eyes tightly shut and mouth hanging open. Harry stopped Malfoy’s hand with his own and, with a tight grip, trapped them both above his head. Malfoy opened his eyes, his grey irisis thin rings around blown pupils.

'Touch my cock’ he whispered against Harry’s lips, more a command than a pleading. Harry smashed their mouths together instead, refusing to let go of his grip. Draco shivered under him, opened his mouth, let Potter invade his mouth with that tongue. Fuck, that tongue that’d fucked him just minutes ago. And Harry kissed him, his cock deep buried to the hilt inside him. He was full, so fucking full he felt his whole body collapse when Potter started to pull back.

He thrust again, the friction, the pressure, sending shocks of pleasure to Draco’s cock, up his spine, everywhere. Through half opened eyes Draco saw Harry gazing at him, his glasses gone, his lips red, parted as puffs of air escaped them. Harry thrust hard when he realized Draco was staring back. His complex changed immediately.

'I-yes fuck ahh-ah…’ Draco’s whole body was trembling, his ass thrusting back against Harry’s cock, trying to get him to go deeper.

Harry released Draco’s hands, grabbed his thighs instead and lifted them, shoving in until his fingers were numb from the tight grip. He’d leave marks there, crimson lines, and the thought made him moan. Harry bent down again, his mouth reaching Draco’s neck. He sucked him there while he fucked hard and fast. Draco fisted his cock with one hand while the other scratched Harry’s back repeatedly.

His moans were louder now, loud enough Harry was sure people could hear them from outside the dorm. Draco didn’t seem to care, or even realize he was making those sounds.

The next moment Draco was contracting around him, trembling violently and coming on their stomachs. The pressure was enough to send Harry over the edge, his thrusts erratic as he came deep inside Draco.

Draco moaned again when he felt something hot filling him up, Harry’s last thrusts too much to handle.

Harry flopped beside him, his limbs drained of strengh.

'Merlin’ he whispered to himself.

'Yeah’

'That was…’

'Yeah’

They didn’t speak for the next couple of minutes. When Harry got up to leave, though, Draco reached for his arm.

'You could… we- uh… we could…’

Harry kissed him softly, almost clumsily before speaking 'Yeah, I- I’d like that’

***

Draco sat down that evening with Pansy and Blaise at their common room to warm themselves in front of the fire. He couldn’t help wincing a bit when he did.

'What’s wrong? I thought Potter had fixed you back’

Draco felt his face flushing immediately.

'He did! I just…’

'I’m sure he did. Just remember to go somewhere else with thicker walls next time you call him to fix your back’ Blaise didn’t even care to lift his eyes from the book he had in hands.

His cheeks were in flames and the expression on Pansy’s face wasn’t helping.

‘You owe me two favours now!’ She smirked, leaning against the couch like she’d won a bet.

‘What- Why two?’ Draco shifted and winced again at the new burning ache.

‘Because,’ She stuck up a finger like she needed to count all the favours Draco owned her. ‘I found someone to fix your back’ She lifted another finger. ‘And,’

Right that second Potter walked through the portrait followed by Granger and Weasley. He spotted Draco immediately and, well wasn’t that great, strode towards him, leaving Weasley with a confused look and Granger with a knowing one. He glanced at Pancy and saw her waving at the Gryffindor girl. Fucking amazing.

‘Hey,’ Potter stood awkwardly there before sitting on the arm of Draco’s chair. Draco knew his cheeks were already flushed but when Potter bent down and whispered in his ear he was sure he probably looked like a tomatoe. ‘Fancy a game of Wizard’s chess later?’

Pansy was shaking trying to keep herself from bursting out laughing.

‘Your dorm?’ Draco found himself playing with the hem of Potter’s hoody. The bastard blushed at Draco’s words, but nodded with a smile on his face.

He’d barely turned his back when Draco heard Pansy’s voice loud and clear.

‘And, I got you a cute boyfriend. Two favours!’

***

Ao3 

A very long time ago @jennthereaper and @simplyn2deep both sent me this prompt, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long, but the other day I was finally inspired to take a stab at it. I hope you enjoy!

From The Way You Said “I Love You” 

#26 Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

Stiles shakes his head stiffly.

The Stiles on the floor is still pleading with him around tears, but the noises of his despair are starting to fade, as if Derek were now hearing him from a distance. Even his heartbeat, a sound that Derek has been clinging to as an anchor for what feels like forever, begins to disappear.

Derek swallows and steels himself against feeling anything more than determination to get through this newest mess.

“What now?” he asks, tone clinical and firm.

Stiles answers him in a similar tone, his expression betraying nothing about what’s going on in his own head. A far cry from the Stiles that Derek first met a couple years ago, terrified and mouthy and young. “Now you wake up.”

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Y’all know my obsession with mer!Stiles but what about professional merman!Stiles and single dad!Derek whose little girl is obsessed with mermaids?

Derek understands it’s probably not healthy to try indulge all of his daughter’s impossible wishes, but she rarely asks for anything and if she wants a mermaid for her 6th birthday he’s going to find a way to make it happen.

Enter Stiles - professional merman. Derek isn’t exactly sure if a dude is quite what his daughter wants in a mermaid but between not wanting to ruin the surprise and the fact she pretty much squeals MERMAID!! MERMAID!! MERMAID!! when she sees anything that even slightly resembles a fish, he thinks a guy will be fine. 

Derek is expecting…well, he’s not actually sure what he’s expecting. Do professional mermaids grow up wanting to be professional mermaids or does the job just come with a particular…lifestyle, like surfers and lifeguards and people way too obsessed with Disney? Whoever Derek is expecting to show up at his door though, it certainly isn’t someone who greets him by saying, “holy shit, you’re gorgeous” followed by “wait, I mean…holy shit you’re gorgeous.” Derek hasn’t felt his cheeks turn red since he was fifteen, which is why he’s totally not to blame when all he manages to say in return is, “do you come with your own tail?”

“Why, you planning on supplying one for me, big guy? I do have my own tail but if kitting me out in a different one is something you’re into….” he winks, like he was fucking born to, and for a moment Derek is kind of terrified he’s accidentally hired a hooker who thinks Derek has a weird mermaid fetish. 

“Um…no….that’s….okay.” He swears he used to have better game than this. Not that he’s trying to flirt with Stiles. He hired him for his daughter’s birthday party, for fuck’s sake. There are rules. He’s almost certain. 

“Great, well, if you could just lead me to the pool….” Stiles squints. “You….do have a pool, right? Once someone hired me to sit in a bathtub all day and while you might think getting paid to sit around in bathtub all day is the world’s best job, believe me when I say it’s not.”

Half an hour later, Derek blushes again - this is really getting out of hand - when Stiles knocks on his back door, panting, “okay, so, I know my website says professional and please trust me when I say I am but…could you help me get my tail on? Usually I have my buddy Scott to help me set up but it’s his anniversary today and, well,” he shrugs. Derek doesn’t stop blushing for the rest of the day, in fact. Especially during lunch when the kids go inside to watch The Little Mermaid and Stiles flops up onto the pool side, the moles scattered all down his neck and chest doing funny things to Derek under the glare of the sun. Not even the way Stiles’ nose starts to burn puts him off. All it does is force Derek outside, awkwardly standing over Stiles, shyly holding out some sunscreen. 

It doesn’t help that Stiles is perfect with the kids, either. No question is too silly for him and he even manages to coax his daughter’s friend Isaac to the edge of the pool even though Isaac is frightened of mermaids and the only reason he came today is because his daughter promised to hold his hand all day and protect him (which Derek noted fondly Isaac couldn’t stop talking about all week, according to his older brother).

The real problem starts, however, when his daughter asks Stiles if he will fall in love with her daddy because her daddy deserves true love because he’s he bestest daddy in the whole world and mermaids always always make sure when they fall in love it’s the “big explody” kind of love, right? You’re not an evil mermaid, are you Stiles? You won’t try to drown my daddy if he kisses you, will you? 

No, sweetheart, I won’t drown your daddy if he tries to kiss me.” He looks over at Derek, waggling his eyebrows. Derek, god help him, has never been so endeared in his life. 

See, daddy,” his daughter yells, putting her hands on her hips. “I told you.”

Stiles bites down on a laugh and Derek crosses his arms, raises an eyebrow at her. “Lacy, what have I told you about trying to set daddy up with strangers?”

“But Stiles isn’t a stranger, daddy. He’s got a tail.” 

Derek sighs, leading Lacy into the house. “I’m sure Stiles already has a lovely mer…person waiting for him at home.”

“You won’t ever find love if you don’t take a chance, daddy,” Lacy pouts, sounding scarily like Erica whenever they get onto the topic of his love life (which is horribly frequent these days).

“Yeah,” Stiles call after them, “take a chance, daddy! I promise, we merfolk don’t bite.” He pauses. “Much.” He winks and Derek blushes for probably the 100th time that day.

He hates everything.

Except, he really doesn’t because after putting Lacy to bed, he comes back down stairs to find Stiles’ number on the envelope of cash he had left out for Stiles to take. 

We merfolk don’t have use for money but if you want to buy me dinner some time, we do like to eat.

P.S. Curly fries are optional but highly encouraged.

P.P.S. If you bring me this money instead of curly fries, this relationship is not going to work. 

(Spoiler alert: Derek doesn’t bring Stiles his money. Instead he puts it in a box, still inside the envelope, which neither of them touch until Stiles proposes five years later when they use it to buy celebratory engagement pizza and that fancy ice cream that Lacy loves so much - which she henceforth insists on calling “finally ice cream” because, well…..finally.)

Mine

Originally posted by worldstyles

REQUEST: Jealous Harry smut

HARRY’S TEXTS // (Y/N)’S TEXTS

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i like you (this is a problem)

“Here’s the thing-” Lily said, marching into the pub and pulling out a stool.


“We’re closed.” James interrupted without looking up from wiping down the bar.

“I want a dog.” Lily barrelled on without hearing him. “But my landlord doesn’t allow pets so I was wondering-“

“I’m not getting a fucking dog for you.” James said firmly.

Lily blinked at him. “I was going to ask if you thought it was morally wrong to raise it in my air-vent.” There was a silence. James was caught between hoping she wasn’t serious and knowing that she was. “Your idea seems better.” Lily admitted.

“Really. Talk me through that, is it because there is no animal abuse involved?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of then you’d have to clean up the poo, but the no animal abuse is also good.”


“Y’know” Sirius was lying on top of the bar, waving around a beer and staring at the ceiling. Nobody looked up. “I always thought once we owned a bar we would spend a solid 60% percent of our time drunk, and that hasn’t happened.” 

Remus, still wiping down tables, said “I shudder to think what you’d be like on your own.”

“Since we bought the bar we spend more time drunk than we used to?” Peter consoled, baffled.

Sirius sat up. “I would say we spent about 15% percent of our time drunk before the bar, and after the bar we spend about 25%. That is an increase of only ten percent.”

“Where are you pulling these numbers from?” Lily asked while holding the ladder for James, who was avoiding the dishwasher by pretending to fix the squeaky window.

“On top of being an excellent barman I double as a statistician.”

“You are neither of those things.” Remus said. Sirius glared.

“Fuck you Moony. At school you were always saying I didn’t do enough math, and here I am, doing math, and you’re abusing me.”

Remus threw a dishtowel at him and gestured to the kitchen. “Go unstack the dishwasher.”

“Fantastic.” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “This is what I get for my brief foray into math. Insulted and unloading dishes.” He jumped off the bar and mockingly gave Remus’ back the finger. James laughed.


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zimbits au wherein a run in with the lax bros leads to a run in with jack

Eric’s walking down the street, latte in one hand and phone in the other, only a very little bit lost on his spontaneous scenic detour to the library. He’s halfway through composing a tweet when several air-horns blast in his direction at once.

He swears, jumps about a mile out of his skin, and drops both his coffee and his phone.

The coffee, sadly, goes up before it comes down, and manages to splash all over his front before spilling across his shoes too. He quickly retrieves his phone from the pavement before it’s similarly attacked by the travelling coffee, and checks it over for damage. He sighs out when he sees it’s only a little scratched on the side of the case, and presses a palm to his chest to try and calm the furious beating of his heart.

He looks over to the house across the way, out of which several, men—actually, boys, Eric’s going to call them after that stunt—are laughing at him, and high-fiving each other. Eric flushes and screws his lips together, telling himself not to cry in front of them, not to give them the satisfaction.

“Hey! Dickfaces!”

Eric looks behind him to see a moustached man flipping the bird to the boys in the house across the street.

“Fuck off to your basement of inadequacy and wine coolers, you absolute shitfuckers.”

The boys don’t take his advice, but rather, blast their air-horns again which causes Eric to hunch up his shoulders.

“Hey, brah, you alright?” The man walks up to Eric and looks him over. “Shit, dude. They got you good.”

Eric sighs out, trying to keep his composure. “It’s alright. Thanks for telling them off.”

“Fucking LAX bros. I live for telling them off. Come on inside and I’ll help you clean up.”

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anonymous asked:

Can you write about lance (from voltron) getting angry? like snaping, because I feel like we haven't seen lance truly angry yet, all the times we have seen him mad, but it seemed more agitated to me, and so I would love it if you wrote about lance snapping, just him being so sick of everything and someone makes a bad comment at the wrong time and he just snaps and he is terrifying, please? (p.s can it be super angst?)

Sorry if this is quite what you wanted, but here you go anon!

I image Lance as someone who would let himself get beat up but would kick someone’s ass if they dared to touch his friend, as well as being quietly intimidating since he often is loud and the contrast shows how serious he’s being.

Warning for some light swearing!

Lance made his way towards the kitchen, he was up a bit earlier than usual, though not overly so. He had gotten enough scoldings from Allura to know he needed to get his shit together. He often feels like he’s holding back the team and he is willing to make double the effort to become useful.

As he approached the entrance to the kitchen, he heard the muffled sounds of his teammates talking. Hoping Hunk was working his magic and preparing something other than the bland food goo, he sped up a tad. His fantasies of Hunk’s cooking ended abruptly when he got close enough to clearly make out what one of the voices was saying

“-know he’s trying, but he has to step it up! He’s lagging behind all of us.” He heard Shiro say

Lance stopped in his tracks. Shiro, Lance’s hero, just openly spoke about some of Lance’s biggest insecurities.

He spun around to go back to his room, however, dozens of cheesy soap operas and cliché scenes of drama being started from someone misinterpreting, mishearing, or misunderstanding made him stay.

He pressed his back against the wall, and he slid down it until he was sitting. He was a couple feet away from the doorway so while he could make out what his team was saying, he still had time to react and get up if he heard footsteps.

“I say we make him train more,” was Keith’s less than helpful input in lance’s opinion. He has trained a lot on his own, but he just wasn’t improving fast enough.

“Guys, Lance tries really hard, lay off a little,” Lance appreciated Hunk’s support and confidence in him, though it didn’t make Shiro and Keith’s comments sting any less

“Hunk, we know you’re the closest to Lance, but doesn’t that make your opinion a little more biased?”

“Lance isn’t at the same level as us, and he needs to get there.”

Hunk desperately tried to defend him but Lance knew it was a lost cause at this point, the more he listened to, the more he got frustrated. He contemplated getting up and leaving to calm himself down in his room now that he knew this wasn’t a misinterpretation; he was the subject of the conversation, more specifically, his inadequacy.

“Shouldn’t you get back to cooking or something? Shiro and I were discussing this and you kind of butted in,” Lance snapped to attention at that comment, did Keith seriously just say that?

Before Lance even processed what he was doing, he stormed into the kitchen, walked up into Keith’s startled face, his own looking furious, “What the hell did you just say?” his tone was even in a terrifying way

Keith seemed to understand it was a rhetorical question, Shiro seemed unnerved by Lance’s uncharacteristically serious tone.

“Lance, it was nothing-”

“That’s bull, Hunk, and you know it. That was entirely uncalled for.” Lance turned back towards the other two presences in the room, “Listen and listen well. If you even breathe another word that belittles, demeans, puts down, or even suggests Hunk did anything wrong when he hasn’t done a damn thing, then you’d better hope and pray I am as far behind in training as you suggest I am.” His tone was chilling, his eyes locked onto Keith’s, his icy glare effectively putting out the fire in Keith’s.

Keith soon snapped out of it and seemed to contemplate something before speaking, “So are you saying that if we insult Hunk you’ll be more motivated to train harder?” that was the wrong thing to say.

The ice in Lance’s gaze melted, being replaced with a fire that could burn anyone it was directed at, “If you dare to suggest what I think you are, my position on the team will not be your main concern.” his voice had started low, rising with every word, “Are we clear?” his words were short and tight, intimidating everyone in the room.

Nods from both Shiro and Keith were enough for Lance, he wasn’t going to let it go right away but he knew they understood.

“Alright, good,” Lance questioned if he should address what had spurred Hunk being dismissed and decided he would if only a little.

Lance locked eyes with Keith “What you say cuts deep,” he glanced at Shiro “Both of you. I looked up to you both, but I can take it. I know my faults, I know where I need improvement, and Hunk’s right, I do try…”

Lance’s voice had gotten soft as it trailed off, his eye’s having found themselves trained on the floor directly in front of his feet, he could feel the pitying gaze of the other three “All you are doing is vocalizing thoughts I’ve had a thousand times over,” Lance shook himself out of it and looked up again, Shiro and Keith stood in front of him ”but what I can’t take is you putting down my best friend when he has done nothing wrong.”

Lance had just about burned out, getting angry was exhausting. He was done with being frustrated for today, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, initially heading back to his room before opting to go to the only place he knew he couldn’t be disturbed. Blue.

The Signs As: The Front Bottoms

Aries: The Plan (Fuck Jobs) 
Never underestimate
Poor, hungry and desperate
My body is a temple
How much you think I could get for it?
And I will take cold showers from now on until I learn
That once you fuck the fire all that’s left to do is burn
Baby, burn, baby, burn

Taurus: Everything I Own
It’s reached the point in the night where I need to decide
Whether I’m gonna fall asleep or watch the sunrise
We are both into letting this develop
But the thought of starting over always sounded so much better
But I won’t stop this, and you won’t stop this
It’ll probably go further than either of us wanted
And it all comes down to the fact that I don’t care to
Sacrifice a good time ‘cause someone says I have to

Gemini: More Than It Hurts You
Talk to myself too often trying hard to figure out
Why all these feelings that lie in my stomach
Are always pushing for my mouth
So I will learn to sleep on my chest
And I will learn to let things go
And I will learn to come to terms with the things that I will never know

Cancer: Jim Bogart
I would stop doing all those things the doctor tells me not to do
But I don’t think he understands, I do all of these things for you
And you’ve got gold plastic on your shelf that they gave to everybody else
And you can say it says your name but I don’t think that that would help

Leo: Be Nice To Me
You’re a flashlight in a dark room for the loneliest black-out
You were all that we had left after it all was filtered out
Turn you on in a dark room right before we both pass out
Turn you on when I need you, but the batteries ran out
They ran out

Virgo: Lipstick Covered Magnet
Pretend that this is fake
It helps to kill the pain
All that you want is different
All that you’ll get is same
There’s nothing more to say
I think I’ve said it all
I’m sitting on the edge
I’m waiting for the fall.

Libra: Backflip
One day I will realize I don’t need this because it is just not who I am
Until that day comes, I’ll keep my eyes closed, and I will try to feel all of the effects
Yeah, I will try to feel all of the effects
And now I am talking way too fast and a little bit louder than I should,
Trying to say thank you for understanding my side of the story the best that you could
My side of the story the best that you could
My side of the story the best that you could
The best that you could


Scorpio: Peach
One day you will find someone who will love you like you deserve
But tonight I’m the only one left and I’m betting it’s a fact that you will never learn
Once I sink my teeth, your skin’s not so toughI’ll leave a tiny cut, there’ll be a lot of blood
But once you wipe it up you will feel better about our entire situation


Sagittarius: Boredom Is The Reason I Started Swimming. It’s  Also The Reason I Started Sinking
Keep it simple and honest
Stop crying, you’re an adult
I could stand up, I could man up
It’s just so convenient to be fragile
This pain is constant and sharp
Watching the signals that you send
I wanna feel lethal on the inside
I wanna read American Psycho again

Capricorn: Skeleton
I walk around like a skeleton last night
Confused and alone
Who was I kidding I cant get past you,
You are the cops, you are my student loans
You are a head shaped hole
In a sheet rock wall
You are the pain I feel
You are the stud in the wall
Better than nothing at all


Aquarius: Swear To God The Devil Made Me Do It
I wanna make tear-jerking-shower-curtain-camera’s-running genius
I wanna make them think they’re seeing something they ain’t never seen before
But I am full of shit, I’m a plagiarist
As a liar, I’m a ten
I just want this to mean something to anyone even if they don’t know who I am
I am, I am, I am


Pisces: Just As Big Twice As Swollen
Hey, sweetheart, where’d you get those eyes?
Do you think that I could have a pair?
Love the way that they glaze over
No point in pretending that we care
There are cracks between the concrete that we will all fill up with time
If you wanna move ahead, you will have to leave me behind


It’s A Comfort Thing

Author: @sincerelystiles
Pairing: Dylan x Reader
Word Count: 3,738

Warnings: nsfw aT ALL THIS IS SO SINFUL I’M NOT EVEN SORRY 

A/N: i was gonna keep this fluffy, but we all know it’s pretty impossible for me to not write sin for dylan, so here you go!! also i apologise for how dirty this got. fUCK. and thanks to my bby @sabrinas-wolves for helping me with this and the puthey… and this is dylan pov

listen to this


Originally posted by arkhamcutie


my baby: text me when you’re on your way home so i can start dinner xo

dyl pickle: will do xx

I shove my phone back into my pocket with a smile and rub my hands together eagerly. It had been five months since I’d been home, which also meant five long, agonisingly lonely months since I last saw Y/N. Admittedly, I’d much rather be home with her right now, either fucking the shit out of her, or holding her close to my chest as I wash her hair in the bath tub. She always loved corny shit like that. But unfortunately, I wasn’t. I was in my dressing room, waiting with T-Pose to be interviewed with Ellen DeGeneres.

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1,050!
  1. We are hounds of God.
  2. He slammed on the breaks, his hand slamming across her chest to keep her from smashing forward
  3. This is Marcos, that’s Leo. Don’t trust anybody else in this place, and if you need something from outside, ask them.
  4. Turn your body when you punch, gives it more power.
  5. My apartment isn’t a storage facility, y’know…
  6. His idea of helping is to give you a passport and plane ticket, and tell you to stop bothering him
  7. You think so little of yourself  
  8. I don’t do secrets if they don’t benefit me anyway
  9. “What…? Are you going to jump?”
    “That’s the plan.”
  10. That’s the most sexual handshake I’ve ever seen
  11. You better watch that hand, boy.
  12. “It’s her own fault that she didn’t do anything of herself!”
    “No, it’s not her fault!”
  13. You have no idea how much you put her back.
  14. “I’m thinking of taking my old job back…”
    “Robbing people?”
    “What? No, man…”
  15. God, she’s gonna murder Chloe if she opens her mouth one more time to say something stupid
  16. I don’t care what you did, you understand? It’s not my business in anyway.
  17. Have you worked a day in your life?
  18. “No… Oh my God, tell me you didn’t…”
    “He won’t report it. The man has more warrants than I have family left.”
  19. Get a haircut you little monster.
  20. “Where you going?”
    “I have work. Meet me in library at 2?”
  21. “Are you gonna drink the whole bottle?”
    “Lost the cork, what else I’m supposed to do?”
  22. I had to threaten to kill over half of them for them to come here, but hey, nobody needs to know that
  23. “I’m sorry.”
    “No need to be, sweetheart. Are you still cold?”
  24. Their leader didn’t give much change to mistakes
  25. “Why do you say it like your pain doesn’t matter?”
    “Because at end of the day, somebody has suffered more than me.”
  26. “Are you drunk?”
    “Hardly ever.”
  27. “Why’s Marcus walking like that?”
    “He tried to do a cannonball to inch of snow.”
  28. I don’t know why I’m eating, I’m not even hungry
  29. Are you supposed to bring a present to a funeral?
  30. “How did you started working for Harry?”
    “I ran over him and he offered me a job. Easy.”
  31. Can you blow the candles next time you leave the room?
  32. Why does your voice sound like gravel?
  33. Would such a man pistol whip an eleven-year-old?
  34. You’re not even supposed to drink caffeine.
  35. Were you gonna stab me with a spoon?!
  36. This is wicked magic. It’ll bite your ass faster than you can ever imagine
  37. Is putting me behind bars not enough? You had chain me to a wall too?
  38. Keep him screaming, Nik. I want someone to call the cops
  39. The one time I need it to rain in Portland it doesn’t
  40. I wish to speak with you, my darling.
  41. “You’re gonna die alone!”
    “Everybody dies alone, you fool”
  42. why’s the woman yelling outside
  43. “Is this legal evidence?”
    “You and I have different meaning of legal, counselor”
  44. Did you manage to punch him before he got arrested?
  45. Let’s pretend we didn’t just break about sixteen laws in five seconds
  46. Any change that you can
  47. Oh shit, he’s a big fella, call Emma. I don’t wanna fight him.
  48. You want your kid back? Better confess to murder of that little girl or soon your son goes to fight a big men’s war in Uganda
  49. “Why are you sleeping on the back of the ambulance?”
    “Didn’t find any other place.”
  50. “What did you give to him?”
    “A illegal horse tranquilizer from China. Knocks you out in five minutes. I don’t know how he’s even standing anymore.”
  51. Hey fucker, my porch lights are not on! Fuck off!
  52. You managed to find a only gun store that doesn’t have Chicago’s 78 hour wait?
  53. “It’s not that easy”
    “Well it’s not that complicated either”
  54. I just inhaled chocolate cake. This is the best way to die
  55. I have to wear two sports bras to even think about exercising
  56. Where do you think I do at 2am? Taco bell, bitch
  57. I may not know your name but this won’t be your dying day
  58. The lady of modern day Edinburg pierced the knife through her heart and hoped the spell had worked
  59. That stupid grin on his face is almost enough of a reason to hit him
  60. “I read the police report, you know.”
    “Then you know what happened. So why are you bothering to talk to me?”
  61. Why aren’t they finding anything?
  62. God why the hell I’m so hungry? I haven’t done anything…
  63. “She has about four hours of air left.”
    “Who do you know?”
  64. “Why’s she’s screaming?”
    “Some kind of ritual. I think she’s a witch.”
  65. I got a headache for acting like I actually cared about his options
  66. “Why are you on my couch?”
    “I’m trying to come up with a plan to get your brother out of the trouble with Chinese mafia.”
    “Oh… Well you’re welcome to stay if you like.”
  67. I’ll call him. Let’s hope that he’s still in Barranquilla… And not in a ditch with cocaine blocking his nose.
  68. “He’s still looking for you.”
    “What does that mean? Are you in trouble?”
  69. “There’s dinner in the freezer.”
    “Ice cream is not dinner. But thanks.”
  70. Yes, I will break it, don’t let me touch it
  71. What was I supposed to think, you left giggling out of the room!
  72. I didn’t think I could fuck up so badly. I’m honestly quite amazed of myself.
  73. Don’t make the lie more complicated.
  74. “She had enough evidence to put him to jail for the rest of his life.”
    “Why didn’t she?”
    “I think part of her still believed in family that time.”
  75. I don’t wanna start begging, but I swear to God I will.
  76. How long have you waited to do that?
  77. Happy’s missing three teeth, Kevin has had his face purple for the past two weeks, and Rigg probably has lost half of his intelligence just hanging out with you guys!
  78. You can stop avoiding me, alright? I know what happened, so call me.
  79. I don’t know what your father taught you, but mine taught me how to take a beating.
  80. “You just let her walk out of the front door?!”
    “We didn’t know it was her!”
    “How the hell you didn’t know that! Her face is plastered all over the news!”
  81. “God, I don’t want to talk to you right now”
    “Well you have to. Does your shoulder hurt?”
  82. ”What the hell happened?! I though you promised not to lay a hand on him, no matter what he does!”
    ”Oh shut up. He started waving a knife around, I just made sure he didn’t poke his eye out.”
  83. I don’t know how she’s even moving after that.
  84. Don’t let me slam her face in, because I swear to God I will do it if she keeps talking
  85. “You want my jacket?”
    “This smells like weed, dude.”
    “It’s not my jacket so don’t blame me.”
  86. “Is this stolen?”
    “You want to see a receipt?”
  87. “What… Why are you checking your pulse?”
    “I just wanna make sure that I’m still alive.”
  88. I thought this was supposed to be one of those easy jobs!
  89. Don’t make it obvious that you’re an asshole, put your shirt on.
  90. You put on hell of a fight, I hope you know that.
  91. Do I get a list of rules when I go there or do I just have to be on my good side?
  92. They don’t look so happy… You think we should apologize?
  93. I don’t think you should eat something that has been in your apartment as long as that has.
  94. “Show me,” he whispered, starting to pull down the zipper of her hoodie. “It’s just a bruise…” She tried to push his hand away, but she was backed against the corner and the painkillers had stopped working, so even breathing was painful.
  95. You’re still replying my texts so it can’t be that bad
  96. “You’ve never been a man with few words.”
    “I only need few perfect words.”
    “And what are those?”
    “Marry me.”
  97. Looks like you’ve started finally to listen to me.
  98. I can feel the hair on my ass standing up
  99. I know all your dirty tricks… I know every step before you even take them
    .
    He’s my brother. I’ll always take his side before anybody else’s.
  100. When you decide to come in, there’s pepperoni pizza in the oven
  101. He seems to like avoiding you.
  102. It doesn’t matter how hurt she is, she’ll try to get up and fight. It’s her nature.
  103. I would have come to the wedding but the nurses threated to tie me down to the bed if I even try to rip off the tubes and stuff… but you know, congratulations.
  104. “Now you’re just being mean.”
    “I think the word you’re supposed to use is… a tease.”
  105. Are we just going ignore that the maniac just drank the whole bottle?
  106. She definitely has the balls to do it, no question about it
  107. I got concussion from a door. I ended up at ER, explaining that the door viciously slammed against my face, sounds great doesn’t it
  108. “How did you get mom here?”
    “I gave her two hundred bucks to stay the whole thing.”
    “What?!”
  109. If she starts to poke my chest again, I’ll walk out and leave you there to be tortured
  110. She grew up on lies. Either it was from her mother’s mouth or from the man who she always thought was her father.
  111. “Who long have we known each other?”
    “About fifteen years. Give or take. But that doesn’t mean I trust you.”
  112. Can you pull my shoulder back in?
  113. He’s going to kill you. He’s so going to kill for doing that to her.
  114. You used to be so much better at lying.
  115. Stay down! Don’t get up!
  116. “Do you believe in love with first sight?”
    “I don’t believe in love.”
  117. She had warned him and after he started pounding on Jon the third time, she didn’t think twice for making him bleed.
  118. Touch my brother and I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to move you hands an inch afterwards
  119. I know my limits. I know how much pain I can take before I pass out or can’t move. I know my body.
  120. “Nice underwear,” he pointed out with a smirk, expecting Alex to start pulling her shirt to cover herself, but she surprised him by pulling the top over her head. “Oh wow.”
  121. Are you asking for a permission? Because if so… I might just give you one.
  122. “People might just start to think you’re obsessed with me.”
    “Are expectin’ me to deny it?”
    “I might just have to start calling you my stalker then…”
  123. Prove me wrong then! Prove me that I can trust you, that you won’t fuck me over the second I drop my guard!
  124. “Can you stop sleeping in my bathtub?”
    “Why? Is so much better than the bed you made me sleep.”
  125. Do I need to tell you everything I love about you?
  126. Are you a predator or the prey?
  127. My mom found your bra in my freezer, why the fuck?
  128. I don’t remember if I ate today so… wanna go grab Thai or something?
  129. I told it was faster this way.
  130. I’m not great at driving when someone is trying to kill me!
  131. I’m gonna borrow your suitcase, mate! Your clothes are under the bed if you need them!
  132. This is not a taco. This is just disgusting.
  133. He pointed at me with a tattooed finger. “I’ll call you.” And then he was gone.
  134. “I thought you’d never drop down your guard.”
    “Consider yourself special.”
  135. You’re younger than me and you’re rocking in your rocking chair like old man
  136. “I don’t want fancy dinners or restaurants!”
    “Great, I’ll take you to the fanciest bar I’ve ever been in.”
  137. What was I supposed to do, huh? He punched me first, Bret!
  138. You’ll break your neck eventually by doing that
  139. You were literally falling while you were sleeping
  140. You used to have a longer hair than me, Phil!
  141. You look surprisingly angry while chewing gum
  142. We’re going to try push them back a bit, get Ricky to the truck!
  143. I think I might just kidnap you if you don’t get next week off.
  144. Fucking pew pew motherfucker
  145. My temper tends to land me in trouble more than often.
  146. You wanna know why she did it?
  147. She thought that maybe her nightmares would stop.
  148. You need to tell him. He deserves to know.
  149. “Brock? Where the hell are you going?”
    “Who the fuck does he think he is?!
  150. I learned at very young age that being quiet kept you alive
  151. I’m not that good with people who only disrespect me, I’m sure you understand.
  152. Of course I’m scared
  153. Her body was covered in mostly small scars and burns. The price of stupidity, her nana said. She didn’t care that much, the biggest burns on her back were mostly covered by tattoos, just like the whip scars on her abdomen and upper back.
  154. They should never put the crazy ones in the same room
  155. One thing he would never do was to stay down when somebody said so
  156. The look in his eyes was something raw and too familiar. She saw herself in him, and she hated that more than anything.
  157. They had been lucky that cops hadn’t looked in the back alley when they came to break up the bar fight. They would have had an easy arrest, the four who had started the whole fight inside were slumped in line against the brick wall of the next building.
  158. Kneeling before her were the men that didn’t believe in Gods. Her army.
  159. Just because his back is turned doesn’t mean he can’t hear you.
  160. This world is filled with more terrifying things than death
  161. You are meaningless. We all are. It’s our to change that.
  162. Don’t rely on happy endings
  163. It has been rumored for weeks.
  164. She’s a veteran in this business, she knows how to play.
  165. You’ve a have a gimmick of being a lost cause.
  166. I’d appreciate if you apologized in person
  167. Men starts wars, women end them. That’s just a fact.
  168. Every damn time I talk to you, I’m more convinced that you’re an actual alien
  169. You are just hurting yourself by doing that.
  170. Didn’t you two had enough already!?
  171. “She refused the help of the medics -”
    “And you just let her?!”
    “I didn’t think she could slip out, she couldn’t even walk by herself!”
  172. She hoisted her brother to his feet again, “You need to stop picking fights with them.”
  173. Goddammit, don’t just leave him laying there!
  174. So… this is how she spends her Fridays. Collecting debts for a mob. Nice.
  175. She decided that throwing a toaster at me was the best defense
  176. I mean she slapped him hard enough to break skin
  177. Keith! Stop shooting people in the living room!
  178. “What if I press the big red button? Will I start a war?”
    “That’d flush the toilet.”
  179. Don’t get him all fired up. I’m gonna be the one who has to calm him down afterwards
  180. You have two jobs in this family. To watch that Iain doesn’t do anything that lands him back to prison and that Shawn doesn’t disappear again.
  181. How did we ended up like this? Two against an army of thousands
  182. “Are you a coward?”
    “I’m a survivor.”
  183. Why are drinking milk out of my shot glasses?
  184. “Why is my boyfriend covered in blood?”
    “Why are you not asking him?”
    “Because he’s a lying asshole.”
  185. He cracked his gloved knuckles before knocking on her door
  186. God… stop with the undying love bullshit. Maybe there is some sort of love but nothing lost forever.
  187. “Do you even remember his name?”
    “I know it started with M, I think.”
  188. “I know you ain’t listening anything,” Johnny sat in front of her, tugging her other earbud off.
  189. With cigarette clenched between her lips, she wiped the coffee off her fingers to her ripped jeans
  190. “I don’t take no for answer, so…?”
    “That makes you sound like an asshole, you know that right?”
  191. He couldn’t help but to look at her through the mirror, she was trying her best to wipe off the eyeliner and mascara smeared on her face, she was a mess. But this woman was his mess.
  192. I don’t think it’s wise to look directly to their eyes
  193. Let’s play a game of stupid and a moron
  194. She laid on the hot concrete, blood dripping down her cheeks. Her temper had gotten her into a fight, was that a surprise in anyway?
  195. How far are you willing to go to convince that you’re alright?
  196. I don’t have a bra on, please don’t make me run.
  197. Can you stop smiling when people hurt you? It makes you look like a crazy maniac
  198. Allan lifted Sam with ease up to the table, tangling his fingers in her hair. “You are more stupid than I thought,” he whispered, running both of his hands through her hair.
  199. They watched the man carefully, like he was a time bomb ready to explode
  200. Wake up, kid. I need you to wake up, I can’t carry you if you don’t.
  201. She picked up a man twice her side. That’s power
  202. Didn’t anybody teach you not to taunt a trained MMA fighter
  203. “Your father wouldn’t want this.”
    “He probably doesn’t wanna be death either, so does it really it matter what he would have wanted from me?”
  204. “Are you lying?”
    “Through my teeth.”
  205. You wanna do this here or do we go somewhere were your friends can’t see me murder you?
  206. I’m not sure why you seemingly needed to share your weaknesses to me, but God… You made a huge mistake.
  207. I’m sure that this will backfire on me, but let’s pretend that we don’t know that already
  208. How the hell are you so pale? You live in Florida!
  209. I don’t think they should be here. They just manage to get into trouble.
  210. God that sounded better when I was rehearsing it.
  211. She wanted to forget the shit of a life she had
  212. Would it be such an immensely horrible thing if I just accidentally hit him?
  213. Past is supposed to stay in the past, especially her past.
  214. Just keep him angry. Please do that to me, I want to see him finally explode.
  215. “Pendejo!” Rosa shouted, slamming her hand flat against the table. “You have some serious problems!”
  216. Right information is very important in this line of work, son.
  217. “Fuuuck! We’re so damn late from his bullshit party!”
    “Oh shut up, we are only fashionable late.”
  218. Put your seat belt on. No? I ain’t driving anywhere before you do.
  219. Why the fuck did you bring your kid? I’m not babysitting!
  220. I think my hair is dying
  221. “Where are you?”
    “South of Houston, why?”
    “John left me to fucking Taco Bell, I need a ride.”
  222. My ass has feelings!
  223. If I found drugs on your brother’s room, can I keep it?
  224. Who the fuck put soy in my coffee?!
  225. That is the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever seen.
  226. “I’ve have a vivid imagination.” He purred in her ear.
    “Then you can survive few more days…” she whispered back, pushing him away.
  227. Shit, she’s quicker than I thought…
  228. Cut her loose, her hands are turning gray
  229. You keep avoiding the subject. It a simple question, and I just need an answer.
  230. Ricky had lost his legs in Iraq, but still every time the national anthem came on, he propped himself up a inch or two.
  231. I know you have a high tolerance of pain, but this is ridiculous!
  232. That woman is as crazy as they come.
  233. He hadn’t expected for Mia to lunge forward, every intention to break Seth’s arms. Joe managed to step between them before her fist would bash against the younger man’s face, he had to pick her up from the ground as she almost hit him to face. V
  234. “You can’t handle me,” she purred, her fingers sliding to inside his jacket pocket, with intentions to grab his wallet. Hank was only smiling, grabbing her by the wrist, “Maybe I don’t want to.”
  235. Vinny had told many lies in his life, and only about two out of every fifteen had some truth in them.
  236. She hadn’t even realized she was angry before Tyler wrapped his hand around her lower back, leaning down to ask if she was alright.
  237. Is he old enough to play paintball? Or maybe laser tag?
  238. Alan watched as she wiped the sweat off her face, eyeshadow and eyeliner wiping down to her cheeks. “You enjoy staring at me?”
  239. I don’t think I did anything wrong
  240. He hadn’t seen her smile in the two weeks he had been here, but now that she did, it was one of the prettiest things that he had seen.
  241. Wes had curled himself in the smallest ball that the 6 feet 5 man could
  242. “You’re naked.”
    “Good eye, darling.”
  243. He looked great in the tailored Dolce and Gabbana suit, shame that he would have to die in it
  244. Sometimes the worst decisions lead to best outcomes
  245. ”What counts as medical emergency?”
    “Your whole body is a medical emergency!”
  246. What were you expecting? She’s a kleptomaniac
  247. You can cut off her arms and legs, but she won’t stop.
  248. She had found a perfect place between the top of the lockers and the ceiling, it was great place to sleep.
  249. I think we might just be alright..
  250. She might just be your worst nightmare
  251. Sascha gave a grimacing smile before clearing his throat. “We will consider your offer.”
  252. She circled her hand over the small back of the eight-month old, whose face had turned bright shade of red from endless crying. “Kiddo…”
  253. “Were you trying to break his back?”
    “To be honest I was trying to get him off my ass.”
  254. Sid plucked the cigarette from Colby’s lips, dropping it to the half-full wineglass. “Keep taunting me…” she leaned down to whisper in his ear from behind, “And I’ll make sure that your tongue is cut off.”
  255. Bastian lived on the edge. Quite literally. He lived in rusty van on edge of a cliff, maybe hoping that someday the car would drop to the rocks and he would be inside
  256. Thank God for waterproof makeup….
  257. This is for everybody who never supported me. Because I didn’t need you in the end.
  258. She didn’t want to cry. It wasn’t any more about not wanting show weakness or pride. She just didn’t want to be sad anymore

Big shout out to @ofpoemsandprompts!​

Something Worth While

The Samwell legacy is continued when Jack and Bitty’s son attends Samwell University after a horrible accident, in hopes their son will find something worth while like Jack did all those years ago. A tale of stolen recipes, fire extinguishers, and of course- the SMH feud with the lacrosse team

(Angsty and containing a character with bipolar disorder.)

*******************************

It was a frat house, and not even a good one. It looked about one hundred years old, the steps creaked with the horrifying idea of collapsing under each step, and the yard contained rusty old lawn chairs. Even if Jeremy Zimmermann did go to college, he would definitely not live in a frat house that looks like this.

“You cannot be serious.” Jeremy hisses, hitching his bag higher on his shoulder, but not turning around to face his parents.

“One-hundred percent serious, honey.” His Dad says, and the passive-aggressive southern hitch to his voice makes Jeremy to shut up about his current position.

“Why can’t I just live in a dorm or something?” Jeremy tries a different approach, finally turning around and looking at his Papa, specifically not his other dad. You would think Jack Zimmermann, NHL superstar, would be the hard ass. 

“Because this is better.” His Papa shifts his feet from side to side, looking extremely nervous. Either because his son was about to live in a death trap, or because he would be forced to go to Samwell, Jeremy didn’t know.

“We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think it was best.” His Papa adds, and his hopeful and still worried eyes broke Jeremy’s heart a little than it already has, because he always hated disappointing his parents and goddamn did he screw up this time.

“I’m an adult. You can’t force me to stay here.” Jeremy argues, and he sees his older sister bristle a little from behind their dad.

“You sure ain’t actin’ like an adult, Jeremy.” His Dad pipes in, his voice more firm. “And you’re right, we can’t keep you here. But you told us in the hospital you wanted our help and that you were trying to get better, but you felt alone. And honey, we never wanted you to feel like that. Ever” His Dad takes a deep breath, and his tone holds no malice. Just a tremor of fear for what their son was going through. This was Jack’s idea after all.

Keep reading

A Beautiful Lie

Originally posted by hothothotgg

2,500 Followers Drabble 

Prompt: “Why does everyone think we’re dating?!“

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Requested by: @bringmesomepie56


“Hey Grandma!” Jensen lays his gorgeous, green eyes on his favorite person in the whole world (other than you) at a family get together. He makes a beeline towards her with his best friend close behind.

“There’s my handsome grandson!” Grandma Betty greets with a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

“How’s my adopted grandson?” Betty boasts hugging Jared as best as she can, considering he’s a giant.

“I’m doing awesome! It’s good to see everyone.” Jared answers cheerfully plopping down on a chair at the kitchen table.

Jensen is extremely relieved to be home in Austin, sure he loves his career but the constant travel takes a toll after a while. His mind, body and soul can only take so much wear and tear.

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A Little Hair Pulling Goes a Long Way

Bucky x Reader

WC 1981

Summary You and Bucky are in a relationship and though the sex is wonderful, you want something more.

Warnings SMUT, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP. oh and always pee after sex. It’ll help you avoid UTIs), rough sex, dirty talk, bossy Bucky, hair pulling, ass slapping, swear words, drinking mimosas, Natasha getting hurt, uhhh… I think that’s it?


You were laying in bed, basking in post-coital bliss. Bucky was stroking your cheek with his thumb while his other hand rest lazily on your hip. You couldn’t help but smile up at him, rubbing your nose against his.

He sighed happily, “If I could spend every moment with you, like this, I’d die a happy man,” he declared.

You giggled, smacking him in the chest. “Oh, stop it,” you teased.

Leaning in for a kiss, you were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Bucky, you’ve got two minutes to get your ass out here or I’m coming in there. And I really don’t want to see you or Y/N in your birthday suits!” hollered Steve.

Rolling your eyes, you got up and threw on some clothes. Bucky did the same.

“10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!” The door flew open.

You let out a shriek of surprise. Steve was standing there with his hands covering his eyes. “I warned you guys!”

“Jesus, Steve, what the fuck?” snapped Bucky. “We’re dressed!”

“Oh,” he replied, having the decency to look embarrassed. “Sorry about the door.”

You stood there with your mouth open. “How am I supposed to sleep like that?!”

“Uh…sleep in Bucky’s room until we get back.” He put on his Captain America face, “Bucky, let’s go. The others are waiting.” He began walking away and turned back, sheepishly, “I really am sorry about the door.”

You sighed as Bucky wrapped his arms around you.

“I’ll be back in a few days,” he reminded you, giving you a gentle kiss goodbye.

You entered into your room to pack a bag to take with you. Trudging your way to Bucky’s room, you unpacked and made yourself as comfortable as you could. It was late and you were calling it a night. You snuggled under the blankets and smiled, they smelled like him.

Keep reading

The Girlfriend Tag

Originally posted by arophan

Imagine: You and Dan decide to give the fans what they want, and cute video of the internents favourite couple

A/N: I know this isn’t any thing about marvel but I couldn’t help myself, I’ve been watching all of Dan and hil’s videos and getting so many feelis. I just had to. Also I really should be doinf my German coursework, bit too late, Dan is more important

Warnings: Some swearing, implied smut but just fluff really

Word Count: 1955 (got a little carried away)


“Hello internet” Dan starts off with his iconic opener

“Today, I am joined by the wonderful Y/N, who you may also know as my girlfriend!” He exclaimed, giving out a laugh as your cue to jump into the camera view.

“Hey guys” You giggled, getting comfortable next to Dan

“Now you may be wondering what original video I have for you today, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get more original than this”

“We are doing the girlfriend tag!” You almost shouted, causing Dan to let out a rather loud groan.

“Jeez, lets tone it now my channel isn’t used to your happy attitude just yet” He joked, covering his ears

“Just because you literally only have the feeling of embarrassment, doesn’t mean I can’t be happy” You fire back, sending a smirk in his direction.

“Oh God, too much sass. I want Phil back” Your dork of a boyfriend joked

“Shut up, we kind of have a part of Phil with us now” You explained

“Really how so?” Dan played along

“Well, he did do the questions for us to answer”

“God knows what kind of weird stuff he has put in here; I don’t know if you guys have noticed but Phil is like obsessed with sharing our relationship with others. If he isn’t taking sneaky photos of us and tweeting them, then he is jumping into a room when we are together doing a live stream of us.”

As Dan continued to talk about his best friend, you couldn’t help but admire his perfect features. His big, wide smile that would light up a room. His unusually large dimple that you found so adorable. How he is constantly touching and checking if his hair looks okay, which of course it does. And his dark drowns eyes, that you could stare into for days.

“..Y/n?” You were abruptly ripped out of your thoughts by Dan waving a hand in front of your face

“Sorry” You blushed, red staining your cheeks as you realised Dan caught you staring at him and will most definitely keep this part in his video, because, well let’s face it, a bit of an arse.

“What were you so caught up about?”

“Just admiring the view” You jokingly sent back and big wink. Now it was Dan’s’ turn to blush, whist also letting out a laugh

“That was so cringe, I might just have to take it out of the video.” Dan spoke to the camera; he was definitely not taking that part out.

“Right so to start this video I’m going to put my hand into the hat and pull out a question. The questions are basically letting you guys know even more about our relationship and hopefully teaching us a bit more about each other” Dan explained.

“Ohhhh can I go first?” You excitedly asked. You couldn’t help it, there was something so fun about doing a video with your boyfriend.

“Of course”

You dove your hand into the hat, grabbing the first folded piece of paper you felt and pulled it out.

“Alright it says, ‘Where was our first kiss?’” For the second time you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I’m going to be so red this whole video, reckon you could like put a filter on me to make me look better?” You joked, however it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Dan laughed, before saying

“So do you want to answer or me?”

“You do it” You always loved hearing Dan talk about your relationship

“Alright, I remember it was our second date and we were just hanging in the living room eating pizza talking after just finishing up on the X-box. I was so nervous, just thinking about leaning in and possibly facing rejection and ruining it all. But then you made a joke out about anime and I knew I had to do it before someone else snatched you away” Dan smiled at the memory, you beaming right back at him.

“Then he just leant in and kissed me, obviously I didn’t turn down that face and now here we are two years later” You finished, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the fond memory.

“OK, next question” Dan stuck his hand in the hat rather ungracefully causing a few questions to topple out.

“Shit” he mumbled, throwing back three in the hat and reading out the remaining one on the floor.

“Finish this sentence ‘My girlfriend is a complete…..’” Dan stopped to think for a minute, you couldn’t help but anxiously wait for what he was going to say

“…..twat” He finally spoke. This caused you both to simultaneous burst out into a fit of laughter, clutching your stomach you couldn’t be surprised at what Dan said, it was so him. You knew Dan loved you with everything he had, it was very obvious. You guys didn’t have a mushy gushy relationship, it was more full of lots of jokes and banter, you guys were basically best friends,

“You are such and arse, why am I dating you?” You tried to sound upset, but the smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face gave it all away.

“You loveeeeee me really” He rather obnoxiously sung

“Actually Babe, I’m secretly in love with Phil and I only come round to your house on the chance that I will see my one true love” You lied, not helping but feel a bit weird by saying you like Phil, who was basically like a brother to you.

“That’s just mean, and a little gross” He complained

“Yeah I know; I have no clue why I said it” you giggled

“Right, my turn” You plunged your hand into the hat, pulling one out to read.

“‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ Ohh that’s hard” You thought.

“I know my answer” Dan said confidently

“Really? Alright let’s say our answers on three. One, two, three.”

This caused both of you to say ‘me’ at the same time.

“You’re kidding me right?” You said in disbelief to Dan

“What? Love, I’m always making the decisions”

“Babe, I literally always have to order for us at the cinema because you’re ‘too awkward to talk to new people’”

“Alright, alright I’ll give you that one, no need to share all my secrets on my channel”

Dan took out another piece of paper from the hat, causing yet again one to fall out.

“God, it’s clear to see who the clumsiest one of us is. And that’s hard because I could fall over standing still” You poked out at Dan.
“Leave me alone, you are so mean. So it says, ohhh this is interesting, ‘who is more jealous’?” Dan read.

“Ohhh, that is” You both took a minute to think about it, recalling moments when the other has been jealous. Most of these moments resulting in some seriously fun times together, and just by looking at Dan and the lazy smirk he wore you knew he was thinking about them. You kicked him in the shins, under the view of the camera causing him to jump a little, then answering.

“I feel like you get jealous more often, but it’s not as intense as when I get jealous.”
“Hmmm, yeah I reckon that’s fair to say.” You repeated, it wasn’t hard constantly having beautiful girls running up to your boyfriend, telling him how hot and sometimes the daring ones flirting with him. However, it had happened a few times when we were hanging around with Dan’s friends and one flirts with you, he gets mad.

“We only have a couple questions left” You sadly exclaimed, not wanting this video to be over.

“Let’s hope we haven’t saved the weirdest till last then!” Dan deadpanned

Grabbing one of the last pieces of paper you unfold it and read,

“‘what do I find really fun, that no one else really does?’” You laughed lightly at this weird question, thinking Dan would need a while on this one.

“You watch pimple popping videos” He answered straight away. You sat there with your mouth hanging open, a blush adorned on your cheeks,

“How did you know that? I always try to keep it on the down low” You exclaimed, shocked and slightly embarrassed that he knew

“Sweetheart, we’ve been going out for 2 years, we’ve been living together for 1, there is little that I don’t know about you”

“That’s kind of creepy and really cute at the same time. I knew I chose you for a reason” You hummed

“I’m not some Pokémon woman, don’t objectify me like that” He fired back

“Shut up and read the last question. Because as much as I love doing videos with you I need to cook us dinner, and get it done so it’s ready when Phil comes back from visiting his family.

“Aw look at you, you are literally the only reason we have survived this long. Anyway, here we go and I won’t knock out another question this time.” He took his time in dramatically picking out the question.

“Oh for god’s sake Phil, he’s such a child. It says ‘when did the two of you first sleep together?’”

A deep shade of red engulfs your face and you looked over at Dan with your mouth wide.

“What the hell, he did not just ask that?” You said shocked.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m joking. Lol” Dan admits, handing over the question for you to read aloud.

“It says, ‘Who/When fist said I love You?’ Now that is a cute question” You cooed, recalled that cherished memory that you held very close to your heart.

“Well, I don’t want to spill all the beans about our relationship just yet, so all that you guys will be knowing is that, Y/N said it first. Maybe we can do another gushy relationship story about that some other time. But for now that’s it.” Dan finished off the video and looked at you to continue.

“Thanks guys for watching hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please subscribe and request some more ideas of what we can do next. Byeeee” You finished

“That was so much fun” You turned to Dan, who was already lovingly gazing at you.

“You know I love you right?” He spoke

“Of course, and you know I love you too, so much” You replied inching your face closer to his.

“You know when you told me you loved me, when we were just lying in bed cuddling watching Breaking Bad, I think that that’s the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He confessed. As much as you loved the banter and jokes in this relationship, nothing felt better than Dan confessing his feelings to your, he really did complete you.

“I was so nervous that I had said it too soon, but I’m so glad one of us plucked up the courage to say it” You murmured, now lips a mere centimeter away from each other.

Dan quickly closed the gap between the two of you and soon had his hand on the back of your head pulling you closer. Automatically you brought your hands up to caress his cheeks and you two shared one of the most passionate kisses in your relationship.

Dan gently pushed you back onto the bed and slipped his hand down to your waist, when you suddenly remembered something.

“Dan the camera is still on!”

“Oh fuck yeah, thank God it isn’t a live stream” He jumped up to turn the camera off, leaving it on the side to edit later.

But he only had one thought on his mind now. You. Jumping back next to you on the bed you two finished off what you had started

Conversations you’ll most likely have with Wade Wilson

(A/N): I haven’t written one of these in forever but then I was thinking about it and Wade showed up in my mind so take this lil thing


“(Y/N), I was thinking, what if we made our own chimichangas?” 

“Do I trust you enough in my kitchen to do that?”

~

“If I figured out how to do an upside down Spiderman kiss would you willingly participate?” 

“Wade, the last time you tried you fell and broke your neck, we’re not starting this again,” 

~

“Wade Wilson a sub, huh?” 

“Don’t mock me, I can tell you’re mocking me,” 

~

“(Y/N), my skin hurts, it all hurts,” 

“I’m so sorry Wade, I don’t know- I don’t know what to do to help,” 

~

“I was once told I looked like an avocado had sex with another avocado,” 

“Well…that’s creative…” 

~

“Wade, we’ve been over this, you don’t have to hide behind a mask when you’re around me,” 

“I’m afraid one of these days you’re gonna wake up and realize how much I look like a monster,” 

~

“One of these days I want you to meet Eleanor, I think she’d really like you,” 

~

“I swear to god Wade if I wasn’t dating you you’d be dating Peter,” 

“I don’t think Tony approves of me so I’m going to have to say no to that statement,” 

~

“Aren’t they so beautiful?” 

“Wade, it’s 3 in the morning, who are you talking to?” 

“The readers,” 

“The who?”

“Nothin’, just go back to bed,” 

~

“God bless america!” 

“Wade, you’re canadian, stop with this nonsense,” 

~

“Why do you love me?”

“Because you’re beautiful inside and out, plus, who else is going to put up with my crazy,” 

~

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for-” 

“I look like a volcano exploded on the moon that’s why,” 

~

“Your ass is lookin’ fine today Wade,” 

“Trust me, I know,” 

~

“Wade we have spent almost a grand in mexican food this month,” 

“So I’m guessing that if I asked for tacos tonight you’re gonna say no?”

~

“Oh my god Wade! Don’t ever do that again!” 

“(Y/N), I’m fine, really, It’s just a little scratch,” 

“Wade your arm is actually missing shut the hell up,”

~

“If you ever so casually chop your fingers off again I swear I’m going to withhold sex from you for a week,”

~

“Did you know I love you?”

“Mhm,” 

“The voices in my head love you too,” 

“…Wade what the hell,” 

~

“Wade this is so gross, I can’t do this,” 

“Come on (Y/N) just stitch me up and I’ll be good as new- If you throw up into the gaping hole in my chest I will never forgive you,” 

~

“Wade I feel sick and If you don’t stop trying to pet me with that broom I swear I’m going to rip your hands off,” 

~

“I can’t believe you tried to use a fucking tide pen-” 

“I was young and inexperienced god,” 

~

“I think I got the suit wet with my blood and now I can’t get it off of me and I need help,” 

~

“So I may be a little late tonight, I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’,” 

*Casual sounds of screaming and gunshots in the background*

“Fine but I’m not making your chimichangas so you’re going to have to pick them up,” 

~

“I like you better without the mask,” 

“Do you now?”

“Yeah, You got a pretty nice face,” 

~

“I’ll love you till the end of time,” 

“Well you keep up with all this vigilante shit your time is running out buddy,”

“So…do you love me back or what?”

~

“If I have to come pick you up from a disappointed Fury one more time I may never take you out for food again,” 

~

“We don’t deserve you,” 

“Yeah you do buddy,”