Day 1: My room turned into a ocean. I swear I found fishes and sharks swarming into my lungs. Or maybe that was the remains of you trying not to escape but desperately needing to
Day 2: You weren’t at school today and I should’ve been happy, I was more sad
Day 3: I thought I was ready to move on, then I saw you with her.
Day 4: We haven’t spoken in days now. My mind thinks its being shoved off a cliff.
Day 5: I wish it would just hit the bottom
Day 6: This will be the first weekend we dont hang out. I know you’ll be seeing her and I know youll be smiling without me. I’m trying hard to learn how to too
Day 7: I asked you for help on a history assignment and you replied with “Ask Amber im busy”. I texted back: “Tell Emma I said hi”
Day 8: You posted a video with her on the only social media site you have. When I saw it I erupted. I spewed lava every where, oh god its every where
Day 9: My mom made me sleep next to her on the couch. She was afraid I would try and do something like I did two years ago when another guy tore up my heart. I actually had thought about it
Day 10: I slept in your sweatshirt one last time so i can feel myself engulfed in you. I know you wanted them back so I had to feel you and smell you one last time.
Day 11: I gave you all of your stuff back and you thought I looked like a warrior but really I went home and tried getting you out of my bloodstream
Day 12: when will my eyes stop flowing?
Day 13: I snuck out with a boy and smoked weed on his couch. He talked about love and how much it hurt. I only pictured you.
Day 14: I woke up next to that same boy and I woke up screaming. The boy was worried and confused but I knew why I screamed. I imagined you laying with another girl on your couch. I ran out of his house so fast you’d think Id be better at running from you.
Day 15: Its spring break and im with my best friend and your with her and i swear i can feel you tracing her spine the way you used to trace mine
Day 16: I ignored your birthday and it felt worse than the puking i did that night
Day 17: Im treading icy water while you’re swimming away from me, I guess I just hope you’ll loop around and find your way back to the shattered, but still there, us
Day 18: I don’t remember the sound of your voice I don’t remember the color of your eyes I don’t remember your the taste of your lips
Day19: No amount of screaming gets your name out of my head
Day 20: I got on a plane today and when we took off I swear i almost walked to the door and started flying
Day 21: They say it takes 21 days fo break a habit but I think I just manage to fall more in love with a greedy monster
Day 22: I saw you today and wished you a happy late birthday and promised we’d watch the third Hobbit together. I’m beginning to hate myself more
Day 23: Its the end of the month maybe next month won’t be filled with thoughts of you and killing myself. i think im beginning to be over you
Day 24: april fools
Day 25: i think i understand now. when you first told me you loved me your mouth curled up on the edges, two days before you left when i gave my bare self to you your mouth was a straight line when saying i love you
Day 26: if you’re trying to kill me its working
Day 27: i woke up this morning to my blankets and pillows piled in a corner in my room. its something s ghost would do to make his presence known. im haunting myself. or maybe its the ghost of us tsking over my body
Day 28: its almost been a month since you told me it was never me. i almost texted you happy easter but i saw those text messages and just got angry
Day 29: I hate that you act like you didnt break my heart. i hate that you think im fine that im not writing a shit poem sbout your shit personality
Day 30: thirty days since you’ve wanted me. thirty days since i told you i love you. thirty days since you’ve slipped from my fingers. i tried catching you. you’ve been gone far too long. thirty days is too long
Day 31: i had a nightmare last night about you. you told me you loved me and kissed my forehead. i woke up breathing heavily and shaking. i want you out of my life
Day 32: running on no sleep isn’t fun
Day 33: ive been awake for over 50 hours in fear that ill see you in my dreams again. i cant risk that. it hurts so much. get out of my head
Day 34: my mother told me that love will do this. that its cruel and torturous and breaks you into such little pieces not even yourself can pick up all the pieces. you know where they all are, please come back and pick them up
Day 35: i talked to another guy last night we stayed up late and he asked me questions about you. we were sober so it wasn’t easy spitting up vowels and similies and euphemisms explaining the empty feeling in my chest after you left
Day 36: fuck if i stopped seeing you everyday i swear id be over you.
Day 37: my knee didnt touch your leg like it used it i promise i didnt do that fuck
Day 38: you told me that the wrinkles on my leg bothered you when i sat down. thats not what you said when we were trying not to get caught in the back of your car
Day 39: you told me you’d take me to prom and in two days itll just be another day you promised to spend with me. its funny how our plans turned to dust in a matter of seconds after cleaning
Day 40: the thunderstorm of us was inside of you and maybe that why it felt so close. i keep counting the seconds between the boom and light hoping you arent moving away buy i fear that you are already letting others feel your storm. the plants you grew are dying. maybe you should come back to water them
Day 41: ten days since its been a month since you left. i cried at prom because all i could look for in the crowd was you.
Day 42: i got so drunk all i could see was your face. the guy i fucked kept telling me his name wasn’t yours. i just screamed and cried because you’re all i still think about despite your efforts to continue to push me away
Day 43: i should be getting high today but if i do ill just write more and think more about a guy who will never care
Day 44: i think im trying to gain feelings for someone else because it’ll make moving on from you easier. im afraid to write that it hasnt
Day 45: you traces my leg like you used to. it was like dandelion tea. it made my insides fill with happiness. you’re my yellow paint.
Day 46: Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would put happiness inside him. He would consume it everyday in the hopes that it would bring his sadness to rest despite the fact that it could kill him first. i gues you were my yellow paint emphasis on the were. see im not going to write about you anymore, because when i write you down im under the impression that you’ll stay with the words but you don’t. this is the last sentence I’ll ever write about you
Our translator, Anna, got a chance to see Tarjei’s play in Oslo! Her account is below the cut. We want to remind people that this play is an exaggeration of truths in the actor’s lives. Tarjei is playing a ‘douchey’ version of himself etc. We do not know the extent of the truth behind his confessions in the play.
Trigger warnings for mentions of rape, please proceed with caution.
There was something that didn’t feel quite right. You groggily walked out into the living room, blinking twice. It must’ve been the middle of the night or something. Someone was on the couch, what the hell? You approached the figure and then gave a sigh of relief upon recognizing who it was. Tyler was sitting on the couch, looking as if he was staring at nothing, in a daze. He was wearing a black tuxedo, and you assumed he had just gone out with Jenna to a fancy late night dinner or something. Except, he was wearing black, all black. Black suit, black shirt, black tie, even black shoes. It was peculiar, but you decided not to mention it. Instead you studied his face, which looked pale in the darkness of the living room, his lips pressed together deep in thought, eyes focused on something in the distance.
Was he okay? Why was he here? “Tyler?” you wondered, taking a step towards him, deciding to switch on the lights. “Where’s Josh?” He didn’t answer, instead still staring at something, and you tried to follow his gaze, but it only led towards the wall.
“Josh left,” he whispered.
“W-what?” you stammered out, blinking twice at his answer, confused. “Where did he go?”
“Josh left,” he simply repeated.
Silence filled the air, an eerie feeling settling into the atmosphere, the quietness of the room and the oddness of the situation making a chill creep down your spine. You looked around the house, noticing that you were still just wearing the Thrasher hoodie, your face turning red at the fact that you should probably put on underwear, or at least shorts. You tugged down the oversized hoodie a little bit more, at least below your thighs, before clearing your throat, attempting to try and get more information out of him. Everything was just… strange. Not right. You carefully approached Tyler, glancing around the room, catching the feeling that something was terribly wrong. Maybe he was just messing with you. Maybe it was a prank.
You wouldn’t be surprised. Josh and Tyler liked to play a lot of pranks on you and Jenna. Whether it was simply just spooking one of you by jumping out and screaming from behind the door, or creating an elaborate April Fool’s Day scheme, they always enjoyed watching your priceless reactions. You would never forget the time you and Jenna finally decided to get revenge and poured a large bucket of syrup over their heads after a show, screaming “sweet revenge” and watching as they freaked out. And of course, all the whining from Josh when the sticky residue wouldn’t leave his hair, but nonetheless, it was a legendary moment that would always be remembered. Perhaps this was just another prank by the boys, but judging by the silence still settling in the room, and the grave expression on Tyler’s face, you didn’t think it would be a joke. You bit down on your lower lip, hesitant to speak.
“What do you mean Josh left?” you laughed, although it wasn’t funny or amusing at all. You were actually really worried, especially with all that happened last night. Did you upset him?
“He’s gone,” Tyler stated.
“Like gone for a couple hours gone or-” you began but Tyler whipped his head around to glare straight at you.
“Gone for good,” he clarified. “And it’s all because of you.”
“Me?” you swallowed uncomfortably. “What did I do?”
Thoughts raced through your mind faster than you could comprehend. Did you hurt Josh last night? You closed your eyes tight, regretting what you had done. He was so sweet and understanding and even tried to pleasure you and then you just denied him like that. Guilt settled in your stomach, feeling miserable. You should’ve known better than to do that. Especially with how terrible Josh’s anxiety was and all his insecurities. Much less, he would try to blame it on yourself. God, you really fucked up this time. You still decided to ignore your thoughts. Maybe it wasn’t that. Maybe this was something completely different. You mulled over the possibilities. What did you do?
“You know exactly what you did,” Tyler muttered. “And now Josh does too.”
“I d-don’t know what you’re t-talking about,” you shook your head, your heart racing, palms sweaty, knees weak.
“We all know,” he added, eyes still boring into yours.
“All know what?” you asked, playing dumb. There was no way he could’ve figured out.
“You like to talk in your sleep,” he pressed his lips together, as if hesitant to continue. “Or at least that’s what Josh tells me.”
“Did I um, did I say something? Last night?” you raised an eyebrow, trying as hard as possible to keep your voice from wavering. You were nervous as hell.
“You probably wanted Josh to leave,” Tyler scoffed, glaring at you before closing his eyes and lowering his head, reopening them to stare at the floor. “So you could be with Brendon.”
You froze. How did he know? “Tyler-” you began, your voice going out before you could even finish your sentence. What the fuck was going on? What did you say in your sleep? Where was Josh? Why was Tyler even here?
“It’s true,” he stated. “I mean, he fucks you better anyways.”
“That’s not true,” you narrowed your eyes, attempting to fight him, but you couldn’t seem to find validation within your own words.
“It is,” Tyler insisted. “We know because Brendon told us himself.”
“H-he what?” your face fell.
“He told us,” he repeated. “Himself.”
“What the fuck is going on, Tyler?” you demanded, refusing to give in that easily, approaching him with your hands crossed over your chest. “This isn’t funny. I don’t even know a Brendon. What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he responded, still staring at the floor. “You fucked him for months, didn’t tell Josh, then pretended like nothing happened… You know.”
“Where’s Josh?” your asked, your mind spinning. This was crazy. This couldn’t be happening.
“He’s gone!” Tyler finally shouted, getting up from where he was sitting and grabbing you by the shoulders, making your eyes go wide. “And it’s all because of you!”
“T-ty…” you fought to find words but you were terrified, the anger in Tyler’s eyes and the way he clenched onto your shoulders making you paralyzed with fear.
“You had everything, y/n, and you fucking took it for granted,” Tyler growled. “Josh literally did everything for you. He gave you all he had. All tour there were millions of girls going up to him and trying to sleep with him, trying to touch him, trying to kiss him, and he wouldn’t even bat an eye. You know that? Cause he stayed true to you. He really loved you. He cared about you. And he was willing to do anything for you. And here you are, boyfriend off on tour, hoeing around and sleeping with someone else, smoking weed and drinking beer, acting like Josh didn’t even matter.”
“I d-didn’t mean to,” you stammered. “I w-would’ve never-”
“Much less out of all people, it was Brendon fucking Urie,” Tyler scoffed, tightening his grip on your shoulders. “Do you know how many people he’s fucked? Hell, you’re just another slut on his long list of whores to write songs about.”
“Don’t talk about him that way,” you argued, shoving Tyler off of you. “You don’t even know Brendon! He’s not like that!”
“I don’t know Brendon,” Tyler laughed darkly. “Oh I don’t, but you sure do. Don’t you?”
“N-not what I meant,” you tried to argue but Tyler just shook his head.
“God, I swear y/n, you’re just fucking asking for it, aren’t you?” he challenged. “Well guess what? You got it. Josh is gone.”
“You keep saying that!” you screamed. “What the fuck do you mean?”
“He’s dead!” Tyler finally yelled, his voice so loud your entire body was shaking. “He went off and fucking killed himself! Okay? For you! So you could finally be happy!”
“No,” you shook your head, eyes growing soft. “No, no, no that’s not possible-”
“You better bet your ass it is,” Tyler tightened his jaw. “Now go run off to your fuck boy and forget about it.”
“Tyler-” you reached out to touch him as he turned to leave and he slapped you, hard, right across the face. That’s when everything went black, complete black.
You woke up from the dream, breathing heavily, struggling to catch your breath. You felt like your ribs were collapsing in on themselves, and you were covered in sweat, sitting upright. It was just a nightmare, just a dream, it wasn’t real. You clutched your chest, gasping in air, shutting your eyes tight and reopening them, glancing to see if Josh was still laying in the bed beside you. He was there, sitting up now too, staring at you, worried. “A-are you okay?” he wondered. You bit down on your lip and didn’t think twice before crawling into his arms, hugging him super tight, tears falling down your face.
“Oh my god,” you gasped, squeezing him tighter, then pulling away, kissing him on the lips over and over and over again. “Please don’t kill yourself.” You kissed him again, then stared at him, studying his face, his confused and broken expression. “I need you, Josh.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “I love you.”
“Y/n, are you okay?” he asked. “What happened?”
“I had a nightmare,” you whispered. “I thought you were dead and Tyler hit me and you were gone and I didn’t know what was happening and-” You were speaking faster than you could even think and Josh shushed you, caressing your face gently, reassuring you it was okay.
“It’s fine, it’s not real,” he mumbled, hugging you close to his chest. “I’m here now, it’s okay. Everything’s okay.”
“Okay,” you sighed, trying to steady your heartbeat and breathing, clinging onto Josh as if he was the only hope left in the world.
“Come on,” he decided. “I have an idea.”
“What?” you wondered. He lifted you up from the mattress, carrying you in his arms bridal style, and swung his legs off the bed, traveling towards the living room. You kept quiet, instead leaning your head on his chest, snuggling deeper into the fabric of his sweatshirt, closing your eyes. You didn’t know where Josh was taking you, but you heard the door swing open and shut, and then felt him going down several steps. You heard another door swing open, and then crickets, cicadas, and traffic. You fluttered open your eyes, and Josh chuckled, placing a soft kiss to your forehead, then took you over to a bench, sitting down carefully and letting you rest your head on his lap.
“I thought you’d like to relax a little bit, get some fresh air,” he shrugged. “The stars are really pretty out tonight.”
“Yeah, they are,” you sighed, glancing up at them, and then at Josh. You couldn’t afford to lose him. He had done so much for you. And you did really love him.
“Sometimes when I was on tour I’d go out onto the balcony in the middle of the night. I would stare at the stars, underneath the glowing moon, listen to the atmosphere and just think about you, you know?” he sighed. “I don’t imagine I could ever afford to leave you for that long ever again.”
“Yeah…” your voice trailed off. You asked yourself the same question. Hell, you were begging Josh to be gone longer when you were with Brendon. Ugh, there he was again, invading your thoughts, your mind, your everything. It was like he was a drug.
“I know tour ended over a month ago,” he began. “But you’ve felt more distant than ever, y/n. And it scares me so much.”
“It scares me too,” you confessed. “And I don’t know why Josh I’m just-”
“Just tell me. Please,” he pleaded. “I’m so worried about you and I don’t even know what’s going on. It’s like you’re blocking yourself off from the rest of us. And tonight, I just don’t know. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Let me know. I can change, I promise. I’d do anything for you. Understand?”
You took a deep breath, trying to gather yourself. “It’s not you,” you reassured. “I promise Josh. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re everything I could have ever asked for.”
“Then what is it?” he whispered. “Why are you so distant? What’s wrong?”
“It’s me,” you closed your eyes tight, wishing you could just disappear. “I’m the problem.”
request: Idk what kind of cruel person you are but GOD YOU CANT JUST LEAVE THAT STORY LIKE THAT CALUM NEEDS A HUG OH GOD LET ME HUG HIM MY POOR BABY IS GOIN THRU IT
quick note: this is kinda shitty but u asked me to write a second part so i did :) hope it’s not terrible for you PART ONE
Minutes after he read the text his heart was still cracking in new places. Tears streamed down his emotionless face as he stared at the dark screen. What did he say to that? What could he say? Nothing.
He finally got up from the floor a few minutes later, dragging himself to the bathroom. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. Then he took off his sweats and turned on the water. He turned the hot knob on first and added only a little cold before stepping in. Steam rose from the water as it flowed out of the shower head and onto his skin. His skin was reddening by the second but he didn’t mind the heat.
He smelled, he knew that much. He smelled like pot and his breath reeked of beer and his hair was greasy. He scrubbed the oil out of his hair and washed his face with your face wash. He picked up the bottle, staring at it in his palm before uncapping it and squeezing the orange substance out. As he was rinsing it off the thought of you coming to get your things washed over him. It was a huge stab to his heart as he imagined watching your figure pick up the little things like this stupid bottle of face wash and take it away.
He finished washing his body and got out of the shower, feeling a new sense of determination flood his senses. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went to brush the beer breath out of his mouth.
He rushed into the messy bedroom and found some clothes, vowing to clean the room, fuck the whole apartment, later. He was careful to avoid the lamp’s pieces on the floor as he left the room, his phone in his back pocket. He found his car keys and wallet and left the apartment, hurrying down the stairs to get to his parked car.
He sat down in his seat, pulling his phone out and quickly unlocking it. He had no idea where you were but was determined to find you and talk. And so he phoned all your friends asking if they knew where you were. Until he got to Ryan who hesitated telling him until she heard the hoarseness of his voice. “Yeah, she just went down to the beach.” Calum quickly thanked her and hung up, starting his car and backing out of his parking space.
You were alone at the beach and you were aware that you looked uncool but you couldn’t be bothered. You sat in the water in Ryan’s bikini, no phone, no keys, no towel and no shoes. You had a lot to think about, you realized that, but in this moment you were just happy to be sitting in the ocean, under the sun. So of course that came crashing to a stop only ten minutes later.
“Y/n!” You weren’t thinking it was Calum when you heard his voice, but the second time he called your name, this time closer, it hit you. “Y/n,” You looked at him over your shoulder, standing in basketball shorts and a tee and flip flops. You could see his puffy eyes from here.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.” He said as he slipped off his flip flops. He set his phone and keys by his shoes. He walked out to join you, sitting down beside you in the water. You were surprised to find that you weren’t met with the stench of pot. “Are you… sober?” You asked, looking at him confusedly. He looked over at you with eyes of hurt as he nodded. He was hurt that you were so shocked to find him sober rather than high or drunk.
“Oh.” You said before turning away from him.
“Listen, I’m really sorry for the way I’ve been. I’ll throw away all the weed and I’ll get rid of all the beer. I’ll never smoke another joint if that’s what you want. I’ll do anything for you and I hope you know that. I love you so much, Y/n.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.” You muttered. You could see from the corner of your eye that he was staring at the side of your face. But you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him with tears brimming in your eyes.
“I know I’m an asshole and I know that was fucking terrible of me but I’m done with it. I’m done getting high and drunk and living in my own little world. I’m done.” His voice was pleading, filled with so many emotions you couldn’t count them if you tried.
“It’s kind of late for you to be saying this. Where were you two weeks ago when I needed you? Where were you last night?” You looked at him, anger and hurt in your eyes. “I wasn’t thinking straight!” He wasn’t yelling because he didn’t want others to be in this conversation between just the two of you, but he was trying to yell without being loud. He was whisper yelling. “I was high! I was drunk! I’m so sorry!” His voice broke at the last word and his face crinkled as he began to cry. “I know I’m terrible,” His words were muffled as his hung his head in his hands. “I know, Y/n. I’m the worst. I do stupid shit all the time. But you’ve always loved me through it and been there at the end of the day and I guess I just took it for granted.”
“I guess you did.” You said, turning away again. You couldn’t watch him cry. A few moments passed before he dropped his hands and sat up straight again.
“I’m so endlessly sorry.” He whispered. “You were the best thing to happen to me and I’ve gone and fucked that up.” He sniffled as he paused. “You deserve better anyway. You deserve someone who can treat you right and love you with all they have and not fall apart. You need someone not like me at all. So I’ll leave you alone and let you do what you want to do. At least I can do this one thing right for you.” He leaned in and pressed a sad kiss to your cheek, lingering too long, like he wanted you to stop him from leaving.
“I love you,” He whispered, before pulling back and getting up to leave. You heard the jingle of his keys as he picked them up.
“Calum,” You said, but he didn’t respond. You turned around and he was too far to hear you. “Calum!” You called after him, standing up. You began to run after him, calling his name until he heard you and stopped.
“Yeah?” His voice was hopeful as you stood in front of him. You wiped away a tear rolling down his cheek.
“I love you, too. I don’t want anyone else but you. But I need you to promise to do better for me, for you, and for us.” You cupped his cheeks as you stared up at him. He nodded, smiling a little as he laughed from joy.
“Yes, of course. Absolutely.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. “Of course, baby. Anything for you.” He kissed the top of your head as you wound your arms around his torso. “I love you so much, Y/n.” After a few moments like this, he pulled away. “Let’s go get your stuff from Ryan’s and I’ll take you home?”
“I’m warning you,” He said as you two turned to start walking, hands intertwining. “It’s a bit messy. But I’ll clean it all up as soon as we get there.” You looked at each other, smiling and laughing and everything was alright again and it seemed like things were going just a little bit better in the world.
hello there! i somehow managed to trap my character into smoking marijuana and idek know how lmaoo but do you have any writing tips on high to play a character while high on marijuana? thank you!
oH MY GOOSE ! I feel like I’ve waited my entire life for a question like this to happen. Homie, my homie. I have so many tips for you !! I’m gonna tell you everything i know, keep in mind i’m not like an expert but i have smoked for a while and i consider myself pretty knowledgeable but still, this is just my experience. pls forgive me if this doesn’t make too much sense sometimes it’s just hard to put an experience into words ya know ?
KNOW WHAT TF YOU’RE SMOKING !
there are two major strains of weed indica & sativa - there are also hybrids which is just a mix of the two. the kind of weed you’re smoking will 112% affect your high. indica’s tend to be more relaxing, they’re a total body high where as sativas are uplifting they’re more of a cerebral high they’re great for being creative !most people tend to smoke indica’s at night and sativa’s during the day - me included. ( if you wanna know more about different strains & how they grow as well as their effects and benefits watch this video )
WAIT BUT WHAT ABOUT SATIVA EFFECTS !
alright listen when you’re playing a character that’s on a cerebral high you got know that there’s a lot of shit happening in your mind - whenever i smoke sativas i start thinking about every single thing i need to do and i write little to do lists for myself and notes for sober me. these are times when i can draw and write for hours on hours and not get bored of it.
you don’t always feel a high in your body but your thoughts will wander all over the place, listening to music is 100 thousand times better and colors look so beautiful. that math homework you didn’t get before suddenly makes sense & you know exactly what you should write about for your english assignment.
you feel a body high but it’s not as intense as with indica it’s more like a light buzzing the only way i can think to describe it is like you know when you put like a speaker on your chest and you feel the vibration it’s like that but it’s your own personal tune.
a lot of times when i smoke sativa i think of really deep fake rational questions like can a vampire get high, i finally understand why that one friend i didn’t understand did this one thing they did, just random connections of things clicking in my mind.
i also tend to just blurt out the first thing that comes through my mind without really thinking about it.
munnnchies !! they’re apart of any high tbh the need to feed becomes very intense.
DON’T FREAKING SKIP INDICA !
india highs are different in the sense that they’re an entire body high. i always feel sort of in a fog when i smoke indicas but my body feels so good like i don’t usually have any aches and pains - so so good if you’re on your period omg take a bath and smoke some indica then curl up with a heating pad & nap yas its amaze.
keep in mind indicas are downers so they make you a bit more lazy and sometimes - depends on the person they can make you very very sleepy
i don’t usually talk as much during these high in fact it’s kind of hard for me to focus on what’s happening long enough to respond to a convo even if i wanted to
if i ever get anxious on weed it’s usually an indica, i tend to feel uneasy in a new situation or if i’m around people i don’t know too well so i defs wouldn’t recommend putting your muse in a social setting if they’re smoking indica especially not for the first time. i mean unless you want them to feel like a super awkward turtle, like the entire world is coming after them and that evERYONE knows that they’re high bc clearly it’s written on their forehead.
can’t forget the munchies man, even as i’m laying in bed barely keeping my eyes open i’ll be stuffing an oreo in my mouth.
HOW ARE YOU GETTING LIT ?
there are a couple ways to smoke either you can roll roll a joint or a blunt ( you’d use papers for joints they’re legit just thin pieces of paper & swishers or backwoods or any other tobacco/cigar type wrap you use for blunts ) you can smoke out of a pipe of some sort ( pipes are legit what you’re thinking they are they’re tubes with a little bowl piece to burn the weed and another where you inhale - pipes can be made into cute little designs i had an adorable elephant pipe his name was fredrickson #ripfreddy. there are also bongs which are long tubular pipes ( not for beginners but you can google pics of how they work ) if you’re a real pro you can make a pipe or a bong outta anything really starbursts, apples, soda bottles, pens - damn near anything. there’s also vaping, sometimes you buy a big vape machine or a small pen and smoke straight thc. there are also dabs which is smoking tbh in it’s oil form but that’s for another post. hit me back if you wanna know about dabs i’ll explain it to ya !
WELL WHAT IF I DON’T EVEN WANNA SMOKE IT?
good question ! if you don’t wanna smoke or if your lungs aren’t too hot or whatever the case may be don’t worry homie you can still be a bonafide stoner. that’s what edibles are for ! edibles are just what they sound like it’s edible marijuana, aka cookies, cakes, brownies, suckers, caramels, rice crispy treats you name it ! if you can bake it, you can put weed in it. all you do is bake the cannabis until it’s dry and crumbly and then mix in water oil and butter and voilA you’ve got canabutter. you can use this butter to bake legit anything you want but it’s usually very strong. like half a brownie will knock you on your ass. edibles are not for beginners although some people think it’s funny to sneak an unsuspecting babe an edible.
WELL WHAT’S IT’S LIKE TO BE HIGH ON AN EDIBLE ?
straight up edibles are not really like weed, they are but they’re not because they’re much, much, much more intense
everything seems like such an amazing idea, adventures are usually a musT - pokemon go is an edible’s best friend i tell ya oH and puppies. play with a puppy when hella high it’ll change your life
honestly whenever i eat an edible i feel like i’m walking on a cloud legit nothing could ever get me down i’m so happy i could practically be funsine bear
foOD IS MY BEST FRIEND. EDIBLES MAKE ME SO. HUNGRY. i get munchies whenever i smoke but an edible ? oh no if i’ve had one of those i can clear my entire fridge of food i feel famished
i’m usually only super hype and up for about 4 hour as soon as i start to come down i come to a screeching halt *crying as i lay down in the sand* i wanna take a nap, im gonna take a nap right here.
depending on how strong the edible is and how many i ate - dude if they’re hella good you cant even taste the weed and eat wAY too many and you go to sleep and wake up high it’s terrible but amazing.
CAN’T FORGET THE COME DOWN !
lucky for your bae marijuana’s come down is pretty chill most of the time i just get very, very sleepy and sometimes you just gotta give into the sleep and when you wake up sometimes i’ll feel refreshed and so ready to tackle the day/night sometimes not so much. if i smoked a lot before i go to bed i’ll wake up very groggy and almost hungover. like bright lights suck ass and my brain takes a million and one years to finally start up.
annnd yeah holy moly…….. this got hella long but yeah that’s all that’s coming to mind rn i hope this helps you out sugarbooger and if you have anymore questions hit me up i could talk about this all day.
(WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION WRITE IN COMMENTS HERE OR BY REBLOG) So after reading a lot of articles and seeing yt videos about it there are speculations on top’s punishment after apparently smoking marijuana so one of the things is extra military duty (it happened to Psy years back) and after doing my research it might be the most possible scenario since he’s a celebrity and he’s in military if not this then he might go to jail which has a lot less possibility since let me tell you G Dragon was caught smoking marijuana few years back and he didn’t go to jail I just think he might do extra year or two in military and a lot of people belive soo too because in Korea normal people that aren’t a celebrity are going to jail for marijuana and BTW trainee who was in his apartment apparently smoking wasn’t suppose to be there trainees are not suppose to spend time with higher class in the same entertainment company so she break two rules one meeting up in his apartment so with someone who is at a lot higher level and smoke weed with him from what I read and hear from doing this she ruined her chances in entertainment career BTW what the Fuck was she doing there besides smoking weed with top?! Okey so my last word is for me he didn’t do anything wrong he smoked something that is not hurting anyone, marijuana is healthy it’s more of a medicine but that’s my opinion I don’t see top in any other way then what I saw him as before he still really handsome artsy guy that I fell in love in the first place like I said he didn’t kill anyone to be judged this much I’m just waiting for more updates on this situation besides that it’s old news since it happened normally couple months ago someone just wants to bring dark clouds at YG basically… What do you think write comments or your thoughts by Reblog this I’m curious about your opinion I’m still YG hardcore Stan
So, as a preface to this, I would like to clarify; there are like, three basic types of high school au.
The cheesy 90’s movie type, with stereotypical groupings (I.E, theres the jock, and the Nerd, and the goths, ect.)
The Normal type, which is literally just the characters/people in a high school setting. Nothing special, but still enjoyable.
And then. There is the angst type. Family issues, reckless behavior, mental issues, found family/breakfast club-esque situation.
Take one look at the links I provided in the last post about it and guess which one I went with. (I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort found family shit dON’T JUDGE ME) I should point out, none of this is supposed to reflect the crew’s actual situations growing up. I know for the most part their families are great and cool people and I don’t mean any disrespect to them by writing this!! Just imagine that any and all family members are basically OC’s.
Also I sort of thought all of this up through short pieces of self-indulgent writing so this is all sort of based around a fic??? So any situational bits like that you can change or ignore if you want. I aint some gatekeeper my dudes.
ANYWAYS, with disclaimers and such out of the way, headcanons??? Headcanons
(Put under a read more because this is gonna be long af)
“ So, how’s it feel to be old? ”
“ How does it feel to be a smart ass? ”
“ Why are you here? ”
“ Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much. ”
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about. ”
“ That’s not you? Like I said, no one is looking for you. ”
“ Look, I don’t know what you think you’re doing here. ”
“ I’m thinking…maybe you and I could partner up. ”
“ That’s right. Either that…or I turn you in. ”
“ Did you learn nothing from my chemistry class? ”
“ No. You flunked me, remember? ”
“ The shit you cook is shit. ”
“ I’m just saying that’s something I need to know about. ”
“ After we finish cleaning up this mess, we will go our separate ways. ”
“ Are you smoking weed? Oh my God! Wait a minute, is that my weed? ”
“ What the hell, man? Make yourself at home, why don’t you? ”
“ So what did you end up buying? ”
“ God. I don’t suppose you could kiss my ass? ”
“ I mean, I don’t know. I kind of like it. ”
“ I just…haven’t quite been myself lately. ”
“ So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. ”
“ Will you please, just once, get off my ass, you know? ”
“ You said you were just doing some ride-along! ”
“ I didn’t ask for any of this! How am I supposed to live here now, huh? ”
“ My whole house smells like toe cheese and dry cleaning. ”
“ You know, you keep telling me that I don’t have it in me. ”
“ But you gotta convince me and you’re going nowhere until you do. ”
“ Whatever, man. I just want to go home. ”
“ I don’t know. Just…doesn’t it seem like…something’s missing? ”
“ You can’t be serious. What the hell are you doing here? ”
“ Who sent you? You wearing a wire? You setting me up? ”
“ I wanted to tell you how much everybody digs that meth we cooked. ”
“ Can I call them and tell them you’ll start next week? ”
“ I just think that we need to…discuss it a little more, that’s all. ”
“ Yo, why would you want this lame-ass job anyway? ”
“ No matter what happens, no more bloodshed. No violence. ”
“ Oh man! Fifty G’s? How you figure that? ”
“ Like they don’t already know that? Are you saying they’re stupid? ”
“ Like I ain’t got the goddamn sense to speak for myself! Is that it? ”
“ No, I am just trying to understand how this works! ”
“ Did I not already tell you how moronic that was? ”
“ No, please, no! God, please, no! Oh God, I don’t wanna die! ”
“ We tried to poison you because you are an insane. ”
“ Well, which supermarket? Is it like a big one? Like a chain? ”
“ You? No. Only shooting that you do is into a Kleenex. ”
“ So what’re you saying? Like, I shot someone with, like, a gun? ”
“ I don’t know, sweetheart. But please, turn your life around. ”
“ What part of “no contact” didn’t you understand? “
” You know why you don’t know? Because you don’t think! “
” Your half? There is no your half of the money! “
” You’re gonna beat your homies to death when they “dis” you? “
” I mean, the point here is to make money, right? ”
“ I beg your pardon? This is a partnership, remember? ”
“ What happened? Because this isn’t you. ”
“ What? That can’t be how you see it. ”
“ You are always the picture of innocence. ”
“ You have a good rest of your life, kid. ”
“ If I have to guess, I’d say that’s Spanish for asshole. ”
“ Then lift your shirt. Show me you’re not wearing a wire. ”
“ I just–I just need you to prove it, you know? ”
“ Go over there and punch that dude right in the face. ”
“ Uh, if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he’s, like, obligated to tell you. ”
Oh man, someone reminded me of some bullshit I had repressed because I was too busy being pissed about the healthcare law.
These stories about Mikey Cyrus going clean and sober; I’m going to leave the commentary about the racial aspects of it to other people whose lane it actually is. But, OMG, the way the coverage has treated her and her “recovery” and the way she talks about it makes me want to punch everyone.
A (incomplete probably) list of my issue:
(1) They’re talking about her stopping smoking weed as though she was shooting up heroin literally on the Judge’s Chair on The Voice. Like, obviously I don’t know the full extent of her drinking problem or how much weed she was smoking, but she was clearly incredibly high functioning. Can we not talk about this like Lindsay Lohan or Lamar Odom sobering up and going clean (two names I have picked randomly out of my memories of “celebrities who have had dramatic issues with drugs, alcohol, and mental health in recent years”)?
(2) Despite the fact that the news stories are covering it as though she was snorting coke off Blake Sheldon’s ass on national television, the way Miley talks about it seems so freaking dismissive of the experiences of people actually struggling with addiction. Her quotes were like “it’s been so fucking easy actually; I love feeling clear headed for the first time in forever” and “I just feel so much more in touch with myself spiritually,” and so on and so forth. Like, I’m absolutely fine with her saying “hey so I decided to stop smoking weed because it wasn’t making me feel good anymore” but don’t try to get attention both on the one hand for going clean and sober but then on the other hand talk about it like it is this cake-walk that is just so easy for you because you’re in such a better place now (does the better place involve a Hemsworth dick? Because, let’s be honest, the better place involves a Hemsworth dick.)
(3) When she gave the big interview that came out about this, she told them she had been clean and sober for THREE fucking WEEKS. Again, bully for you, but it all just feels so performative. Frankly, just as her trip to the high-side also always felt pretty performative, this recapturing of her sweet and innocent (and white, LBR) feels incredibly performative too.
(4) The three weeks thing also bugs me because it goes against all common sense for good public relations strategy if you are *actually* an addict in recovery. Generally, celebrities in recovery are more like pregnant women, you wait as long as possible to make any announcements about it (if you make any at all) because the risk of relapse is real and once TMZ gets wind that a celebrity is an addict or in recovery, their goal in life will be catching you when you relapse. Because they are assholes. Paparazzi will not only stalk the shit out of you and harass you, they may very well try to stress you enough or trick you into relapse so they can get the “money” shot. And the public will eat it up.
Honestly, the whole thing feels like she gave an interview and got the cover of a magazine (one I’ve never heard of, but still) and got breathless articles on Buzzfeed and shit like that for announcing that she gave up caffeine for Lent or something.
All of this should be read with the understanding that I absolutely acknowledge that alcoholism is a serious disease and that, while I think “addiction” to pot is less of a thing, I absolutely think there are people who abuse it. I don’t know if Miley is one of those people, but every one of my bullshit detectors is going off with this. Because I just cannot imagine a publicist recommending to someone with a serious addiction problem that they handle it this way. And nothing in Miley’s career suggests that she would just go off and do this on her own; her career has always been well managed and strategic (even when it seemed a bit more like “strategery” rather than actual strategy, like when she humped a creepy, older, married man on national television.)
Anyway, so there’s a slim chance that this is just Miley being Miley but I find it much more likely that she has decided she wants to shed the weird mixture of flower-power wild-child white girl who thinks she’s down with black people because she twerked once and is doing so by performing the “I’m going clean and sober” act so people will be just.so.relieved that little sweet Miley has been saved from the big bad world and now they can listen to her cover of Jolene without having to feel like they are associating themselves with “those sorts of behaviors.”
And I don’t quite know where my strong feelings on this come from, but as a chronic pain patient who is constantly treated like an addict because of the medication I need and a human being worried about the opioid crisis, this kind of blasé and almost condescending approach to “recovery” kind of offends me. … Or apparently really offends me, considering how long this post has gotten.
I'd never been brave enough to try weed before I read your blog and I've literally just done it for the first time and I'm so glad I did? I feel more relaxed than I have in months and the guy that shared 2 blunts with me was so nice and we had a really good talk, it was the least terrifying socialising has felt EVER. So I guess I just wanna say thank you. I know it probably isn't your main motive to give advice about weed but thanks for being so open about a pretty great thing <3
aw! i’m so glad that it was a good experience for you. smoking definitely helps me feel less anxious and more relaxed in social situations too!! and just in general of course. it also really really helps with depression and stress and is pretty much the only thing that eases my insomnia up a bit.
i think there’s obviously a big stigma against weed (and it still hasn’t been legalized in most places), at least where i grew up, which is what kept me from really exploring it until i moved to LA. here it’s medically legal and so commonplace and people aren’t weird about it, which made me feel more okay with the idea of it. if you’re open-minded and in a situation where you feel safe and comfortable, it can be rly great, and nothing negative is going to come out of it as long as you don’t get carried away and let it get in the way of other things in your life haha
1. If their eyes ever falter as you walk into a room, walk away. You may not believe it, but you deserve to be reflected in their irises.
2. If you’re sitting in your bed with their voice echoing in your head, using your sheets to wipe your nose, and can think of sixteen reasons to go and one to stay, you should go. You will find someone better for you, I promise.
3. If you go into it hoping you can get them to smoke less weed or stop saying ‘fuck’ so damn much, don’t go further. Old habits die hard, if at all; make sure you can live with their quirks.
4. If they hold their glass of vodka closer than your waist, let them go. You do not deserve to come in second to their vices.
5. If they pinch your love handles and tell you your curls look better straightened, leave. The way you were created deserves to be adored.
6. Know you are worth millions of atoms, of stardust and spiraling staircases of double helixes, and do not accept anything less than love.
you are worthy: things i wish i had known when i met you // a.s.m
Hey there. I wanted to ask for the experience of other trans guys about smoking weed after top surgery? I know I have to quit before and I'm going to, by the after the procedure I'd really like to celebrate. My doctor is trying to tell me I can't for over a month but that's inconsistent with what I've read online and he didn't even give me a reason why I shouldn't when I asked for one
I would say he is correct. Length of time Im not certain though. Its not so much what it is (as it can have therapeutic benefits post op) but the way in which you use it. Its the smoking part thats the problem. Its not a guarantee you would experience any problems but it does increase the risk of it. Its worth not compromising your results. You definately shouldnt before, but after you should still be more careful as well in terms of healing and potential complications
I have a post on this in the drafts I havent queued yet, but from the link in it from topsurgery.net regarding smoking it:
‘No smoking! Vape it or bake it Like tobacco smoke, there is carbon monoxide in marijuana
smoke. Carbon monoxide decreases the oxygen carrying capacity of
hemoglobin in the blood, and like vasoconstriction, increases the risk of decreased blood flow and tissue death, as well as delayed wound healing and more scarring.
In DI, this can present itself as compromised or completely lost nipple grafts.
Also, smokers have a more reactive airway (coughing, wheezing,
shortness of breath) which can cause serious breathing problems during
and after surgery. For example, marijuana smokers are more likely than
non-smokers to be on a ventilator longer and have a higher risk of developing pneumonia after surgery. Lastly, the act of coughing itself
can lead to internal bleeding after surgery that can cause hematomas
and other complications
If you’re consuming weed after surgery, be sure to continue to avoid
smoking it for the same reasons as before surgery: risk of decreased
blood flow and tissue death, delayed wound healing, and more scarring
and coughing potential.’
When in doubt I think its better to be safe than sorry. How it heals in the early days is the most important and can affect its overall outcome. The results are forever, abstaining isnt. You can of course still celebrate it though but try to keep that part for later. Its no guarantee of any problems arising but when risks are increased you should limit them as best you can. It does have pros therapeutically but also the risk of problems as well. This is what Im finding about it anyway, you may have read something different. Some people will ignore the advice and do so anyway hence you will likely find people say they did and it was fine. They did take that risk though and it happened to work for them. It is still a risk.
If you wanted to anyway thats entirely up to you but I would suggest waiting at least a little while
If anyone has any experience with this feel free to add it. You can always find mixed results online so hearing others experiences can help
what were the boys opinion on weed?? did they ever smoke together, and if they did smoke, who smoked more??
They liked to smoke weed and they did it if/when they could. But during 1998, they couldn’t do it much, if at all, being in the diversion program. They got alcohol and drug tested regularly. They weren’t pot heads by any means. Mm..I couldn’t really say that one smoked it more than the other..probably about equal as it would be something that’d do together. Dylan probably got more of a buzz than Eric though because he actually inhaled intentionally. I can see Eric not wanting to go all the way with it just like with cigarette smoking. Rebby didn’t like to lose too much control. See more here.,
Disclaimer: The content you are about to read is based off of a first hand encounter with Jon Walker himself in the Cairo House in west Chicago, Illinois. The following facts presented are from direct conversation with Walker himself, solely based on memory because no notes were taken at the time of conversation. However, everything was recorded right after the event. The facts presented in the first seven paragraphs are 100% UNBIASED, followed by in depth analysis and commentary.
Hi, I just wanted to talk to somebody bc I'm going nuts.I feel so much impotence.1) He was dumb and reckless for smoking in Oct being so close to enlisting, what he was thinking!?.2) It was just fucking weed (in Oct!) for fuck's sake. People are judging him for this shit!? 3)But, legally, It is a serious issue in K and I'm dead worried about him and, on top of that, the K-showbiz will try to destroy him. He must be suffering so much I hope he has his loved ones by his side. It breaks my heart.
right!? like come on seunghyun that was such a dumb move for smoking so close to ur enlistment the hell were you thinkin guy? i’m just so sick with worry. i too understand it’s weed and it’s not a big deal to a lot of people but in korea they don’t see it that way :/ i’m so worried about his mental state. I’m happy he has people by his side who can help and support him but, I just hope he’s dealing with all this well. ugh 😔