i slayed a dragon

Dragon: “HALT TRAVELER! THIS BRIDGE IS UNDER MY CONTROL! PAY THE TOLL OR CROSS THIS RIVER ELSEWHERE!”

Knight: “Nay foul beast! These are the lands of men! I shall pay no such toll, and what’s more I shall slay you rid this land of your tyranny!”

Dragon: “TYRANNY!? FOOLISH MAN! THIS BRIDGE IS OVER A HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND IN DIRE NEED OF REPAIRS! THE STONES ARE ERODING AND THERE ARE TERMITES IN THE WOOD!”

Knight: “… what?”

Dragon: “I GIVE THIS BRIDGE ANOTHER FIVE YEARS BEFORE IT COLLAPSES! I’D RATHER AVOID THAT AND PREVENT SOME POOR HUMAN FROM GETTING HURT!

Knight: ”…“

Dragon: "THE TOLL IS TEN GOLD PIECES.”

Knight: “… Okay.”

Dragon: “ALSO, DOWN THE ROAD, A FRIEND OF MINE IS RAISING FUNDS TO FIX A FARMER’S ROOF! IF YOU COULD ASSIST THEM AS WELL WE’D BE VERY GRATEFUL!”

the art of slaying dragons

“Cooking is at once child’s play and adult joy. And cooking done with care is an act of love.”
― Craig Claiborne

Nalu | Chef/RivalsToLovers AU
part 1/? 

words: 1475
rated: M
read: all

I can’t even believe it myself, but I am… back?! And it feels great. :’) I know I haven’t written in ages but I hope you haven’t forgotten me entirely my pals my buddies my frends… and this time around I’m writing about one of the great loves of my life: food. ;) Well, maybe not only about food. But there will be food. Yum.

 Cooking, despite what some might try to tell you, is an art.

It is art, and it is magic. There is art in an idea, in the careful execution, in the swirls and patterns of thoughtful arrangement on a simple plate. There is magic in old, scribbled recipes that endure time, in the love you pour into your creations, in that first bite. It is in the smiles of the people who taste your food, in the way they come to know you without ever having met you, because you took a part of your soul and held it to their lips.

The art of cooking—

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Resisting the urge to hurl her pen against the next wall, Lucy Heartfilia leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Maybe this was why she had not become a food critic in the end. As much as she loved writing, it did not come easy to her. It was hard. What she could do, however – what she had taught herself to do with passion and endurance – was to create dishes that spoke for her. Or at least she hoped that was what she did. Some days, she didn’t know anymore.

Maybe this wasn’t the best time in her life to be writing an article for a renowned food magazine, when she wasn’t even sure if she deserved to be in it. With a heavy sigh, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and tried to focus on the task at hand.

But she did not finish it that night, or the night after.


“Chef, appetizer for table six is ready to go.”

“Thanks, Cana. Gajeel, ready to go on the main?”

“Aye.”

“Cana, send it out. Gajeel, start in five. I want this energy to continue, alright team?”

“Yes, Chef!”

Lucy was in her element. She was in control. Everything happening was happening as it should; the magic (as she liked to call it) was flowing splendidly tonight. Yesterday’s doubts were still in the back of her mind, the anxiety over that new restaurant across the street a thorn in her side, but for tonight she pushed it all away. This year, she reassured herself, would be the year she would finally earn her first michelin star.

There was no one who could do it like Lucy Heartfilia. No restaurant that could rival The Fairy’s Tail, not in this street or this city or the entire fucking country. She had to believe this.

“Chef. Chef! Lucy!”

Blinking away her stupor, Lucy gave a start. She found herself confronted with the stern face of her head waitress, Aquarius. She swallowed. The scowl on her face bode nothing well.

“The guest at table seven asked to speak to you.”

All that Lucy heard in her tone and bearing was ‘What did you do wrong now, silly girl?’ but she merely nodded and skidded away from the woman’s likely wrath. Lucy might be her boss, but god, could Aquarius still be scary after all these years.

Scary, too, was the prospect of meeting that guest. It didn’t help that Aquarius had not hinted at the nature of the request. Would she be met with a complaint or a compliment?

Pondering this simple yet nerve-wrecking question, she made her way through the kitchen doors and out into the dining area, into her restaurant. For Lucy, it was the kitchen which felt most like home: this was where she lived as much as she worked. But here, amidst neatly decked tables and careful arrangements, amidst the sound of conversation, softly clinking cutlery and low laughter, here was where the soul of her restaurant lay. It felt good to remember that from time to time. Here, what she did felt easy and joyful and right. The blood, sweat and tears that had brought her to this point lay behind her, forgotten easily in the face of what her work could accomplish. Steaming plates, inviting dishes, colourful details… it all looked so simple, despite the hours of thought so many people had put into it. Her food brought people together; it made them smile.

And that was all she had ever wanted, in a way.

The table she was headed for was one of the small ones close to the wall, with the soft emerald cushions. There was only one person sitting there, comfortably lodged between table and wall, looking entirely at peace with the world. Some of the tension dropped off Lucy’s shoulders. His eyes moved and caught her approaching, and the smile that spread across his face lit up his eyes in a way that was, she found, entirely pleasant. A very good, content smile.

Her initial impression, however, was quickly redacted when she arrived at the table and he opened his mouth. 

Keep reading

The Steadfast Decision

Few years ago, me and few friends are playing D&D like nerds. Friend likes to play a Dwarf Mage, just for reference.

Stereotypical Dragon Encounter 2803

Me: You find yourself faced with a terrible beast! A dragon of all things, the creature which has brought a scourge upon these lands.
Friend: *super heroic voice* I shall lay that dragon!
Me: *Obviously confused* You mean, Slay right?
Friend: Did I stutter Dungeon Dick? ROLL THE DICE, MAN!!
Side note: He got the highest charisma roll I’ve seen during a seduction, 36, which means he actually did get in the dragon’s pants, due to it only getting a 34 intelligence check, and thanks to a bit of luck the whole party got a fire resistance buff for the following encounters.

Today, my name fits comfortably in my own mouth.
No metaphors needed. I am the brightest thing in
every room. I am both the prince and the princess.
I slay the dragon while wearing pink. I am the
goddess. There is no shame in the blood between
my legs. Leave rain water and lotus flowers at my
altar. Watch as I rise from the lake, demand the
blood of men as a sacrifice. A woman’s mythology
is riddled with stories of her own throat being
slashed, her heart on a silver platter. Today, I
am asking for gold. I am sparing myself. I am
the one left standing at the end of this story,
dagger still in hand. I am the lioness. The
combination of women’s past – Medusa,
Joan of Arc, Hecate, witches burned at the
stake. I’ve got their blood in my veins. I
know how to start a riot. My voice is only
heard when it’s a battle cry. The revolution
was birthed from my womb. Eve was
abandoned for choosing to see the
world, and I’m continuing the legacy.
—  Legacy, Angelea Lowes
2

Queen Anora Theirin (née Mac Tir)

We have been given the gift of freedom by our forbearers. Let us not squander it.

anonymous asked:

inquisition companions react to finding out the inquisitor (who always covers their face) is actually the hero of ferelden? (Plus warden Alistair and Morrigan pls?)

Morrigan: She knew instantly, of course. It was the walk, the bearing, the weight on their shoulders and the pride that kept them tall. And their eyes. Those eyes, peeking out from behind their mask, would likely haunt her for the rest of her life, for one reason or another. “I’ll keep your secret, old friend, if you truly do not wish these others to know,” she tells them when she announces that she’s to join the Inquisition. If Romanced: “Ah, my love, how difficult it will be to keep your secret when we shall be sharing a bed. I will not be moved from this. We shall be a family once more, and that’s final. Now, take off that ridiculous mask and kiss me.”

Warden Alistair: Inwardly: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Okay, don’t panic. It’s only your damned commander here. No need to panic. Or say anything dumb. “Heeeeeeeyyyy there!” Damn it! If Romanced: Well, if the way they steal into shadowed corners frequently isn’t enough to give the Warden away, nothing will. But by the Maker, he will spend time with his lover! They’re out here risking their life against impossible odds, as usual, and he doesn’t even get to stay by their side for the duration! Necking in the corner is the least of their worries at this point.

Bonus King Alistair: Yeah, he really didn’t have time to notice. There were more pressing matters to deal with. If Romanced: “Keep that beautiful face covered, love. Your identity is a vulnerable point, as much as I hate that. Our enemies would use you to hurt me and use me to hurt you. If I can’t be here with you, at least you can try to stay safe.”

Leliana: She knew immediately when they were found in the Temple of Sacred Ashes, but she didn’t know what to do with the information. She kept it to herself, allowing Cassandra and the others to think whatever they wanted to think until she had the opportunity to speak to them alone. “Why are you here, what happened?” she asks them. Though their answers are far from satisfactory, she’s willing to trust that her old friend would never have done what they are accused of. If Romanced: “My love, we must stop meeting like this,” she giggles to them even though they’re shackled in a cell. She’s cleared the room to speak to them, ostensibly to question the prisoner. She grins at them, completely certain in her belief that they are innocent, that something else is at work, and she’s simply grateful to be back with her lover even under such circumstances.

Cassandra: She’s suspicious, especially with how careful Leliana is being around them. She wonders why they insist on the mask upon having their hands unbound, but allows it anyway. She has her suspicions about who they are but keep them to herself. When she finally knows for certain, she’s more confused than anything else. “Why not simply tell us who you are?” she asks. “It would have helped remove suspicion from you to know that you were the one who ended the Blight!” If Romanced: “You didn’t trust me with this?” she asks them, a bit hurt. “You are a great hero, someone I admired before we even met. And I treated you so poorly when we met. Knowing this would have saved us both a lot of trouble.”

Cullen: Though the last time he saw the Warden was in the midst of his torture, he remembers them as clear as day. He knows who it is that stands before him on the battlefield, masked and cloaked though they are. He could never forget. He would rather forget. If Romanced: “I knew it was you from the first moment I saw you, mask and all,” he confesses, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to thank you, to ask your forgiveness for what happened the last time we saw each other, but I realized that you must be hiding for a reason so I stayed quiet. I’ve kept your secret, and I will continue to do so if that is your wish.”

Solas: He knows the name, he knows the title, he knows the significance of their actions, but he doesn’t know them. He recognizes them as he studies the Anchor, but it seems to him that their identity doesn’t particularly matter. He keeps it to himself more out of indifference than any desire to keep their secret. Whatever they seek by hiding won’t affect his plans at all, so it doesn’t matter. If Romanced: “I knew. I’ve seen your face in the Fade more than enough to recognize you, but I saw no reason to reveal this information. We were both under enough suspicion as it was without adding to it unnecessarily.”

Sera: She didn’t know. She had no idea. She thinks it’s kind of cool and she’s impressed that they were able to keep the secret so long. “If you’re that good at hiding yourself, think you’ll be that good at pranks?” If Romanced: “So you were a hero even before all this Coriffyshite? Wow, you’re even bigger than I thought. Famouser. More famous. Oh, you know what I mean. Now give me a kiss, you big hero.”

Blackwall: He’s taken entirely by surprise, and one of his first thoughts once the shock wears off is why they didn’t out him as not being a Warden. He’s too afraid to ask, of course. It’s humbling, though, to be in their presence, to know them so well and work together as they do. If Romanced: Again, he wonders why they didn’t tell everyone he wasn’t a Warden, but he figures that someday he’ll work up the courage to ask. “I’m sort of honored that you would want me, after everything, out of everyone. You could have just about anything or anyone you want, but I’m so glad it’s me.”

Vivienne: She didn’t know enough about the Hero of Ferelden to pick them out of a crowd, but the mask made her suspicious since they clearly weren’t Orlesian and it wasn’t decorative like hers; it was a mask to hide behind, not a mask to show off. She tried many times to parse their secret, to discover what lay under that mask. She had a feeling it was important and a good thing to know, but after a while she decided to let it be. If they wanted to tell her the truth, then they would, but all she was doing was exhausting herself. When she finally does find out, she’s more delighted than anything else and congratulates them on their ability to keep their identity secret for so long.

Dorian: Honestly, it wasn’t his business and he didn’t really care to find out why they always wore a mask. When he does find out, he thinks it’s all a marvelous joke and spends quite a long time trying to figure out what everyone would think if they found out. If Romanced: “Well, that’s… oddly intimidating, now that I think of it. You defeated an archdemon. Oh, amatus, and now you have to face another one? One that is controlled by an evil, ancient magister, no less? Don’t worry, I’ll be right beside you the whole time.”

Iron Bull: He had his suspicions. He’s not Ben-Hassrath for nothing, after all. But he kept his thoughts to himself and went along as if everything were just peachy. When the truth is finally revealed to him, he claps them on the shoulder. “No wonder you’re so good at slaying dragons!” If Romanced: “Yeah, I know. Thanks for trusting me with it, though. It’s okay, kadan. I’ve got your back.”

Varric: He didn’t know until they told him. “Look at that! I get to fight alongside both big heroes of the age!” he cries. “This is so going in my book. It’s way too interesting not to.”

Cole: He knew. Of course he knew. “Yes, tainted blood, aching heart, you’ve seen so much death, lost so much of yourself. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll try to help.”

Josephine: She didn’t know, didn’t guess. She knew there was something worth hiding under there, of course, but she didn’t expect this. She wonders what the secret will do to the Inquisition, if it should be revealed or not. She leaves the decision up to them, but worries about the consequences if the secret is discovered by their enemies or accidentally revealed by their allies. If Romanced: “Oh, my love, why didn’t you tell me? This changes nothing about my feelings for you, of course, but I wish I had known!”

Fairy Tale Starters
  • "You're a wolf!"
  • "Here's an apple for you, dear."
  • "I feel like I've slept a hundred years."
  • "I'm just a humble woodsman."
  • "I see you, little princess."
  • "Mother will take good care of you."
  • "You're a fairy?"
  • "There's no such thing as magic."
  • "A talking animal?!"
  • "I need no prince."
  • "You want me to slay a dragon?"
  • "Do not stray from the path."
  • "My stepmother is evil."
  • "I have something you might need..."
  • "Stay on the path."
  • "I just wanted to go to the ball."
  • "I need to breathe."
  • "Hide in here."
  • "You're special..."
  • "I'm going and you can't stop me."
  • "Are you coming with me or not?"
  • "A witch is trying to kill you."
  • "You're the one I've been looking for!"
  • "This place is magical."
  • "I hate this dress."
  • "I will lock you away forever!"
  • "Here there be dragons."
  • "They will be looking for me."
  • "You can't keep me here!"
  • "You look delicious."
  • "Bless you, my child."
  • "Are you a princess?"
  • "I've come to save you."
  • "I don't want your help."
  • "Where are you off to?"
  • "Get away from me!"
  • "Mine now."
  • "Be careful of that."
  • "Are you a prince?"
  • "You'll not win."
  • "I will take all from you."
  • "My parents are gone."
  • "Are you going to eat me?"
  • "I cannot sleep."
  • "You can trust me."

I am a woman and I am composed of wings.
I am the open wound, never not bleeding.
My body is field and meadow and valley,
all the dips and shifts of womanhood. All
the ways I’ve managed to land on my feet.
Palms open. Metaphorical and all these
fault lines. Abstract art. The best line in
the poem, but never the full piece.

I am a woman and I am dissected into
useful bits and pieces. Scraped and
scarred, and still on my feet. In the
midst of the revolution. Blood between
my legs. Blood in my mouth from a
bitten tongue. Blood as my war paint. 

I am a woman and I am living proof of
fairy tales. Of witchcraft. I am magic and
light and clawing my way out of this tower.
I am conjuring fire between my hands. I am
slaying my own dragon. I am both a princess
and a sword. You will name kingdoms after
me, and I will name ruins after you. 

I am a woman and I am still on my feet.
This is my greatest act of rebellion.

—  Rock, Paper, Girl, Angelea Lowes
all these poems about people leaving and not one
about how I convinced myself to stay.
I know what you want to hear-
that I slayed the dragon and swallowed my demons
and laughed in the face of my nightmares
and lived happily ever after-
but the truth is much more ordinary.
the truth is I breathe through the pain
even on the days it whistles between my ribs
on every inhale and every exhale
and I celebrate like hell on the days it doesn’t make a sound.
—  Fortesa Latifi - the d word is the elephant in the room
Small Talk

This is a b-day present for @sncwbaz (go wish her a happy birthday!)

In which Simon texts the wrong number

(set in the summer before Carry On)

Italics is Baz

Bold is Simon

(Bc = because)

(Idc = I don’t care)

Can u believe it?

They were holding hands, P!

Sorry, who is this?

Oh shit, sorry. Wrong number

Not a problem.

Do u ever wonder why things happen to u? And why u have to take responsibility of things that are beyond your control or knowledge?

Why are you still texting me? And yes. On a regular basis.

Bc Im bored

Why are u replying?

What happened to P? Ignored you?

Busy w/ her boyfriend

U didnt answer my question

I guess because I’m a disappointment to myself.

What? Why? 4 texting an interesting stranger?

For wasting my time. Come on, interesting?

I slayed a dragon once

I didnt want 2, but I guess thats sth unusual

Uhm. Sure. A. Dragon.

Interesting.

Told ya :)

What else?

Mmm…

Once I ate 30 scones in a row

and I puked them 30 s later

THAT’S DISGUSTING.

Your turn. Tell me sth about u

I’m a vampire.

Hahahaha, nice 1

Tho u kno, they do exist

I know. I am one.

WICKED. So, u kill ppl?

No. I’m not a murderer.

Srry g2g

Care homes suck, they wont let me use my phone :(

Oh. That’s sad.

Bye!

Morning vampy!

Call me that again and I swear I’ll kill you with my own fangs.

Touchy, arent we?

Don’t get into trouble for texting me.

Concerned?

No way. Just wouldn’t like you to blame me if you got grounded or something.

Im grounded 24/7 so no worries

Impressive.

Yeah

Cant wait to start school next week

Me too, actually.

We must b like the only 2 teenagers on earth willing 2 go 2 school

Why are you guessing I’m a teenager? I could be a teacher.

Shit. True

Are u?

No, silly. I’m in A-level.

Omfg me 2

Do u live in England?

Hampshire.

Cool! I live in London

Star Wars or LOTR?

Why do I have to choose?

Lets ask random questions 2 kno each other better!

Okay. Lord of the Rings, then.

Rembrandt or Van Gogh?

Idc?

Day or night?

Night.

Coffee or tea?

Tea. W/ scones.

Outside or inside person?

Definitely inside.

Basketball or football?

Football. But Im not v good

Rain or sun?

Snow.

Do you spit or swallow? (gum)

This question is disturbing

You said RANDOM. And I’m disturbed.

Im still not answering

Bummer.

U kno what? U really wanna kno sth abot me?

Yes.

My girlfriend just left me

BY TEXT

And I dont even care

Sorry about your girlfriend

Well dont b. I have much more fun texting u

Anyway, g2g

Text u later

Until later, then.

alkdlskajdfkl

Wow. Eloquent.

Whuts goin on on taht baeutiful miiind?

Im on ur magickal mysstery riiied

Are you drunk? Did you just quote John Legend?

Funny spelling of MAGICKAL, though.

I leik u sooooo much.

I’m flattered, but sorry. I’m hopelessly in love with my roommate, actually.

And you don’t even know my gender.

Fcuk taths tru

I didtn think abot it

You didn’t think?!

Deos it mutter?

Heeeeey

Answeeeer mee!!1!

R u madd?

I suppose it doesn’t matter. But there’s still my roommate. So, sorry.

I’m a boy, by the way.

its ok

im a bloke 2

i wish my roommate were liek u

my roommate is irky af n sooo posh n strong n graceful n ruthless n tall n smart n bloody perfect u dont understend

That’s a lot of adjectives.

Are you sure you don’t like them?

No I haet him!

Sure…

n he hats me 2

he pushed me down the stiars!

Go to sleep.

ok ill do it only bc u tell me 2

Good night.

niiiiite ily!! ilysm

Hey, srry about yesterday!

I was pretty pissed…

Yeah

But don’t worry. I understand.

So, I was thinking… would u like 2 meet?

I kno it sounds weird but I really like u and it would b great if we could, u kno, talk face 2 face?

Well, sounds nice. What do you suggest?

Theres this b-day party 2nite at a friend’s of mine from school. Her name is Anna, shes pretty rad

Anyway, is the only day im allowed to go out

I’ve got permission from the Queen

The party starts at 7

Okay, send me the directions and I’ll be there.

(You’re lucky I love driving)

ill wear worn out jeans n a red jumper

Good. I’ll wear a dark green suit.

See you then.

See u later

Too many people wearing a red jumper.

Wait ill go to the entrance

FUCK

Fuck, fuck, FUCK. MY ROOMMATE IS HERE.

Uhm…

Baz?

Snow?

Fuck

Baz wait! Dont go

Pls come back

Stay

PLEASE

Fine.

Soooo

About u being hopelessly in love w/ ur awesome roommate?

I’m pretty sure I didn’t use the word “awesome”.

Glad u stayed yesterday?

Very.

Glad u kissed me?

YOU kissed ME, Snow.

I rlly want it to b monday already, so we can b 2gether again

Just because we snogged doesn’t mean we are TOGETHER

I want 2 try

Im terrible at this

But

Yes, fine.

Okay.

Yes, what?

You can be my terrible boyfriend.

!!!

:)

:))))

I have 2 go get everything ready

Cant wait 4 monday!!

See you on Monday, love.

<3

;*


-FIN-

Ari: Hope you like this! <3 </p>

I also posted it on AO3, here’s the link.

I wanna believe that TWOTL’s ending was just a hella drunk hallucination.

Like,they ain’t even fighting eachother. Will’s in the bushes,punching a tree. Hannibal’s just wandering around the property piss drunk. All that ‘blood’ we saw was just wine their drunk asses have been spilling everywhere.

The fall? (Well,I think the actual house they used isn’t near a cliff) I’m going with the idea that there was no cliff. They fell into a puddle.

That “it’s beautiful” moment they had? I mean in reality they just two hella drunk dudes hugging and grunting at eachother. Like they so wasted every word is coming out slurred.

What about them slaying Red Dragon? I don’t know. They’re drunk. Probably fighting that tree.

Season 4 is gonna open with Will and Hannibal waking up with the worst hangover.

Originally posted by helloyangmal