The Adventures of Sutha, the Half-Orc Bard
A little context: my little brother DMs and 3 of 4 of my campaigns I’ve played are with him. Our dad and step mom expressed interest in trying D&D, so he and I gave them the introduction to playing. I have an undying love for Druids, but I decided to try something new this time. Insert my pure-shenanigans character, Sutha the Half-Orc Barbarian. Low intelligence, lower wisdom, high charisma and constitution. My proposal of this character was “They love music, but are not the greatest player. For whatever reason though, people love it.” Cue our introduction:
DM: So, you are all in a tavern in the evening. Why has each of your characters chosen to be there, and what are they doing?
Dad (the blue dragonborn ranger): I’m looking for someone. I am sitting in a dark corner watching everyone.
Stepmom (elf druid with the sage background): I’m in the city looking for knowledge, and stop by the tavern. I settle at the bar.
Me: I am of course, standing on a table, playing a song on my harp, singing along– I should mention, Sutha cannot sing– and when i finish each song, I down a pint of ale, and begin anew. There is a steadily growing pile of empty tankards around my feet.
DM: How big are you? How much do they weigh?
Me: uhhh… 200lbs, and 6ft 7.
DM: Roll to see if the table holds your weight.
*rolls a 17*
DM: Well, okay then. It is rocking back and forth a lot, but seems to be holding. Roll constitution to see how well you hold your liquor.
*rolls a 15+ 3*
DM: Theres a dozen or so tankards at your feet, and you’re slightly buzzed, but otherwise are fine.
I’m trying to let our parents take it upon themselves to push the introductions, let them find reasons for us to all interact, encouraging them to start roleplaying. I’m using my ridiculous character to make them laugh and get rid of any nervousness. It’s going slowly, my step mom is very quiet, but my dads getting right into character and playing around with voices. Finally, after about 5 minutes of awkward bumbling, I decide to try and give them an opening.
Me: At this point, my table breaks under me.
DM: *Smiling* roll dex saving throw.
Me: * rolls 18+3*
We all laugh.
DM: the table splits clean down the middle, the tankards land all upright, and you land on your feet on top of them.
Me: I look down in shock, and then cheer loudly over the hushed silence, arms raised in the air. I down another pint and start a new song.
Eventually the DM intervened, inserting an NPC who drags us on a quest. I tried, anyways.