i simply cannot with this man

anonymous asked:

dis is a very random question but would you concider doing a live stream or something? idk man like say hey and read aloud a story of yours or something? that would be freaking awesome and i would be down for that xx

This is indeed a very strange question, haha but like I don’t think so. I would first of all have to show you my ugly face and girl trust me, you wouldn’t like that. Secondly, I’d actually have to speak english which I simply cannot do. You wouldn’t be able to understand what I was saying ahha :D

When insults had class



These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, Sir,“ said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” - Oscar
Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend…. if you have one.”
(George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill)
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second  …. if there is
one."  (Winston Churchill, in response.)

"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” -
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” -
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” -
Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

Truth: Arrow 5x20 Review (Underneath)

Arrow isn’t a perfect television show. To be fair, I don’t know one that is, but I never needed Arrow to be perfect.  All I need from Arrow is a good story.  My frustrations with Oliver and Felicity’s break up, and the Baby Mama storyline, aren’t a secret. I found their break up to be wildly problematic on multiple levels. However, the one caveat I always held to was if Arrow can piece together some interesting character growth for Oliver and Felicity it would go a long way of easing my ruffled feathers. We’ve been dealing with the ramifications of Oliver’s lie about William since 4x08. That’s 35 episodes. We’ve waited a long time for Oliver and Felicity’s individual arcs to come to fruition.

The wait was worth it. At least for me.

Our perceptions of “good story” vary as widely as our perceptions of “perfect” but “Underneath” is a good story for me.  It’s almost perfect. 35 episodes. This road was long. It was hard but, in the end, I feel like I understand. It connects all the dots that need to be connected (and some I didn’t expect) while delivering some real character development that feels earned.

In the midst of the crazy world of arrows, masks, Mirakuru soldiers, 15 different canaries and Barry Allen resides the relationships between Oliver and Felicity

and Original Team Arrow. 

These characters, and the love they have for one another, is the sanity in all the madness. It’s the real in the fiction. Oliver, Felicity and Diggle are the beating heart of Arrow for a reason. The love we have for these characters is the reason we watch and “Underneath” returns Arrow to center. It focuses on the love stories that made us fall in love with the show. In particularly, it brings Oliver and Felicity’s individual arcs to fruition and FINALLY merges their roads into one again.

Trust. Honesty. Forgiveness. Compassion. Humility. These aren’t always popular concepts in our society, but they are the building blocks to any relationship. You lose one, the whole house can come down on you. Love feels like it has its own inertia, like it chooses you and not the other way around. And maybe that’s true. Maybe we can’t choose who we love.  However, we can choose how we love.

If you are either Team Felicity or Team Oliver in the break-up- Baby-Mama-drama then there’s probably things about “Underneath” you didn’t like. As for me, I believe there are things both Oliver and Felicity need to learn from the breakup and “Underneath” addresses those things. But more than anything, I am ready for Arrow to rebuild what they broke. I am ready for Arrow to fix it. Are you?

Buckle up. This is, by far, my longest review. We’re going all the way back to the pilot and discuss about five different episodes. This took me about 22 hours to write. No need to comment on how long it is. I am well are.

Let’s dig in…

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Songs To Numb Your Mind With (PLAYLIST)

Because it is so good to be half-conscious and half-confused on a Sunday evening. Here’s my list of extraordinarily brain-stoning music pieces - sort of.

(unfortunately embedded video is only available to first five songs. This nevertheless means the rest are inferior to my view. Youtube links are still available to click on the title.)

Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

No questions, no surprises.

Hyukoh - Mer

Nobody cares what in the world Oh Hyuk is singing because it’s sounds just sooo good.

Jeff Buckley - Opened Once

Not to mention that his voice is always silky and captivating.

The Black Skirts - Everything

This almost makes you wish you were in love.

Copeland - Kite

Don’t we all wish we were a child?

Porcupine Tree - Lazarus

Simply haunting.

Beck - Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime

Just the right consistency to follow you wandering aimlessly in town

Between the Buried and Me - Mirrors

There’s a reason why I ship them for 10 years. Their jazzy pieces are always effective. And this is only the beginning.

Copeland - Hold Nothing Back

Yes, I already mentioned the band. However I can’t just simply pass this on.

Steven Wilson - Deform to Form a Star

8 minutes, and not a single second to waste.

Donny Hathaway - Sack Full of Dreams

Not his original song, but I cannot imagine any version better than this.

Maxwell - This Woman’s Work

Get prepared.

Damien Rice - Amie

Does it come from an ethereal otherly world?

Between the Buried and Me - Laser Speed

Mentioned them twice because they deserve it.

Kate Bush - The Man With The Child In His Eyes

The original soundtrack of pitch-dark bedroom filled with nostalgia.

Radiohead - No Surprises

Because I cannot finish the list without mentioning any song from Radiohead.

god bless the internet

Okay 20 odd years ago i was oddly terrified of home economics classes because:

a. can’t cook

b. can’t sew/embroider

c. can’t crochet

d. can’t household worth a damn

The teachers back in grade school tended to assume we were taught crochet and sewing basics by our respective mamas and grandmamas and kinda zipped us along in class.  I didn’t learn how to properly operate an old school non-electric sewing machine until high school, because FINALLY there was one student to a sewing machine, so I could figure it out and realize “WELL SHIT SON I CAN MAKE MYSELF NICE THINGS AND I LIKE IT.”

(I made myself a quilted bag.  It lasted all four years of high school.)

Also, there was the whole uncomfortable subtext of “YOU WILL BE A FAILBOAT AS A WOMAN AND A WIFE AND MOTHER IF YOU CANNOT HOUSEHOLD” which gets my gander up because FUCK THAT NOISE, WHY AREN’T YOU TEACHING THIS SHIT TO BOYS TOO? I WAS NOT BORN TO BE THEIR FUCKING MAIDS. 

(Obviously, I more or less got through this because actually, man or no man, knowing how to household ARE USEFUL SURVIVAL SKILLS THAT ANY PERSON SHOULD KNOW - SO MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN SANDWICH AND SEW YOUR OWN DAMN BUTTONS.)

But now it’s not about being a “proper lady” - it’s simply knowing how to make things with your own hands, using string and needle and hook and yarn and creating pretty things that you can admire, use or both.  It’s knowing that you created an actual work of art with needle and thread - and embroidery/cross-stitching is an art form, even if you’re following counted cross stitch patterns.  THAT SHIT IS HARD AND TAKES PATIENCE AND CARE AND CRAFT, OKAY?

It’s finally picking up that crochet hook and yarn and relearning an old skill and learning new tricks along the way and making something pretty and useful knowing that it’s not about grades, it’s the satisfaction of having made something pretty and useful. 

And God bless the internet because I can quietly lurk on youtube and watch tutorial videos and figure stuff out.  God bless the Internet because I no longer feel like my clumsy, idiot nine year old self who couldn’t seem to follow along Teacher’s apparently simple and easy instructions, who kept being told that my stitches were “too tight” and who was made to feel like I’d be a failure at life if I couldn’t pass this “simple” class. 

Now when I feel the need to “unplug” from Real Life, I can just grab my craft bag of threads, needles, yarn and hooks and choose whether I’ll make myself a doily or continue my current cross stitch project. 

Beauty and the Beast AU

I really liked the idea of doing a Carry On Beauty and the Beast AU after seeing the movie. After seeing @ace-artemis-fanartist do this AMAZING fanart AU version I decided to go for it! Let me know if your interested in this becoming chaptered :) The next chapters are available here: 2 3

Simon

The castle loomed darkly against the grey sky, a shadowy figure in the crisp wilderness. Simon shivered lightly in the cold weather, rubbing his arms against the wind. He wasn’t sure why he had come here; it wasn’t like he actually owed his father anything. But he had tracked him to this desolate place and felt the familiar need to keep his father close to him.

His footsteps crunching in the snow were the only audible sound. The place was incredibly eerie, even if it was beautiful. He had no idea what his father was doing in a place like this or why he hadn’t reached out to him. But it seemed dangerous; Simon’s magic swirled close to the surface of his skin.

As he reached the doorway he paused. Something told him that once he entered this place he would not come back the same. If he wanted to, he could walk away, let his father conduct his strange business in this creepy castle, and return to life in the village. Agatha was waiting for him there with a thousand promises in her brown eyes. There were a million reasons for him to walk away.

He took a deep breath and pushed the heavy doors open. His heart beat rapidly as he waited for something to jump out at him. As the seconds ticked by though, he noticed that the entryway was empty. With a frown, he stepped through the threshold. 

The room was dank, as if it hadn’t seen sunlight in many years. As he stepped further into the castle he noticed a large sitting area to his left. Seemingly on its own accord, the fireplace lit up with bright orange flames. Simon jumped back a step and put his hand over the hilt of his sword. But nobody attacked him from behind the large fireplace. 

Simon had been raised around magic his whole life, loved it even, yet he felt there was something wrong about this place. It was as if the castle dripped in something heavy, a kind of twisted magic hung in the air. 

“Look Niall! I told you he would come!” He heard someone hiss behind him.

Simon froze, trying to appear as if he hadn’t heard the voice.

“Oh, shut up Dev!” Another voice whispered.

Simon whipped around, sure that he would discover who was speaking and found himself utterly confused. Behind him, on the stairs, lay a clock and candelabra, as if left there by mistake. 

“What in Merlin…” Simon muttered.

The place was starting creep him out. Figuring it would be useful in the dark space, Simon picked up the candelabra and started up the grand staircase. The castle was obviously quite large and, in its own eerie way, very grand; but Simon could not understand what it was doing in the middle of the woods. Had his father, deluded by his own power, built a castle in forested isolation to pretend to be king? Simon had to admit that it was not that big of a stretch for his father. It didn’t, however, explain the strange whispering. Or the dark magic.

He found a corridor off to his left and walked up the stone steps, knowing that his father had a tendency to seek high ground. Eventually it became clear that he was in the dungeons of the castle, something that would normally cause him to go back to the main staircase. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was getting closer to his father with every step. Eventually he turned a corner and found the one cell that wasn’t empty in the vast tower.

In the corner his father lay balled up, his green cloak stained by the water dripping from the stone ceiling. Simon drew in an audible breath. Stirred by the noise, David Snow turned and looked at his son, his eyes blank. Then he jumped out of his slumped position and threw himself at the bars.

“Oh my son! My son! Thank Merlin you’ve found me!”

“Father…what happened to you?”

His father’s eyes shifted to look behind him.

“I was looking for something in the woods…I got lost. Eventually I found this place and decided to rest here for a bit. But Simon, my boy, there’s something terrible in this place.”

Simon glanced around him.

“Yeah I know. I can feel the dark magic here.”

“No!” His father yelled, grabbing Simon’s jacket through the bars, “You don’t understand! There’s a thing here, an evil creature! He’s the one who locked me up!”

Simon wondered if his father had hit his head.

“I’m sure he was a horrible man if he could do something like this to you father, but let’s not get carried away.”

His father’s eyes widened and his face went white. Weakly, he let go of Simon and backed away from him, his eyes focused on something behind Simon. His legs began to shake.

“Not a man…” His father trailed off.

Simon felt a chill run down his spine.

“A beast.”

Simon whipped around and came face to face with his father’s captor. He was taller than Simon, enough so to loom over him. His skin was as grey as the sky outside the castle, and his eyes were the same color, if not a little stormier. His hair was jet black and wild about his face, as if he hadn’t cut it in years. All of this, strange as it was, was still human enough. 

But the fangs, the horrible, sharp fangs that protruded from his dark red lips were undoubtedly beastly.  His expression matched the cruelness of his appearance, a mask of pure and utter rage. 

Simon did not know what to call this person, as he somehow had ascertained the creature in front of him was indeed a person. His sword was already drawn, but he had the sinking feeling it would do little against the menacing man in front of him.

“You dare take up a sword against me? In my own home?” The man hissed.

Simon swallowed loudly.

“I-I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that you…well, you surprised me.”

The man studied him.

“Well?”

“Well what?” Simon said.

“Well why haven’t you put your sword down yet? Seeing as you only drew out of bewilderment.” 

Simon deliberated. Putting down the sword meant relinquishing his best weapon and left him vulnerable. But keeping it drawn would likely make the man attack. Slowly he sheathed his sword. 

“There,” Simon said.

The man sneered.

“What are you doing in my castle? I don’t like trespassers.”

Simon clenched his jaw.

“I wasn’t trying to trespass. My father went missing a few days ago and I tracked him here. I didn’t realize the castle was occupied by you.”

The man snarled loudly.

“So you’re the son of this disgusting excuse of a man?”

Simon growled back at him.

“How dare you talk about my father like that!” Simon yelled.

The man threw him up onto the bars in a rush, barely exerting himself. Simon had been right to assume that the man was unnaturally strong. He felt his breath rush out of him against the force of the blow. 

“Your father tried to slit my throat in my sleep.”

Simon wanted to deny it, to say his father would never be capable of such a thing, but he knew that he couldn’t. Unfortunately, Simon could very well imagine his father doing just that sort of thing. The man waited for Simon to defend his father and when it was clear he wouldn’t, set Simon down.

“Simon,” His father whimpered, “He’s a monster! I only thought I was doing the right thing!”

The man laughed darkly.

“Is that so? Is stuffing your bag with dozens of my possessions doing the right thing?”

Simon looked down. His father was not a good man, Simon knew this already, but he was the only family he had left. Whether he liked it or not, he would need to break his father out of the castle.

In a flash Simon had his wand out and pointed at the monstrous man’s throat. He was prepared to say a spell when the man laughed raucously. Simon paused, his mouth hanging open in confusion.

“Going to cast a spell are you? I don’t think you’ll have much luck with that.”

Simon realized that although he could feel his magic, he couldn’t tap into it.

“Why…what’s wrong with this place?

The man pulled back his upper lip to expose more of his fangs. It was truly a terrible sight, an image that made fear run up the length of Simon’s body.

“It’s cursed. Like me.”

“What are you?” Simon whispered. 

Something flitted across the man’s expression, too quick for Simon to decipher. As quickly as it had come, the look left the man’s expression and was replaced by cold disinterest.

“Enough questions. Your father will spend the rest of his life rotting in this cell; I don’t care what you think about it. He committed treason as far as I’m concerned. “

Simon sagged in defeat. The smart move would be to respectfully apologize on behalf of his father and to leave. It was in his best interest to leave his father, and this mysterious man, behind him forever. After all, his father had committed horrible crimes; he deserved to be here.

“I know,” Simon started, “That what my father did was despicable.”

His father moaned weakly in his cell.

“But,” Simon continued, through gritted teeth, “I cannot simply leave him here. I have no hope of beating you in a fight without my magic and I don’t wish for my family name to cause any more violence in your home.”

The man frowned.

“And so?”

“And so…” Simon trailed off, “Punish me instead.”

The man’s eyes widened. From behind him he could hear his father shrieking with happiness. Simon closed his eyes, trying to quell the pain in his chest. 

“You would take your father’s place?”

Simon felt his father grab his leg through the bars. He was kissing Simon’s calf.

“Thank you my son. Oh. Bless you. I won’t forget this.”

Simon’s throat hurt.

“Yes, I will take his place.”

The man pointed in disgust to his father, who was crying in happiness on his hands and knees.

“You would sacrifice your entire life? For a coward like this?”

“Enough questions,” Simon threw the man’s earlier words back at him, “Just let him go and do what you want with me.”

The man glared at him for a minute, as if he was unwilling to accept Simon’s offer. Eventually though, he pushed Simon aside and unlocked the cell door. His father sprang out and ran down the stairs, without a backwards glance at Simon. 

“I’ll come back for you Simon! I swear it,” He heard his father shout out from below.

Simon knew it was a lie. He knew that unless he found some way to escape on his own that he would be stuck here until he died. David Snow was not a good man but he was an even worse father.

The man allowed Simon the dignity of entering the cell on his own as opposed to throwing him in. Keeping eye contact with him, the man closed and locked the cell door.

“Your father is a selfish and cruel man. But you…”

Simon waited for him to continue. With a shake of his head, the man turned away and began to walk down the stone stairway.

“You are a fool.”

With that, the man walked away, leaving Simon completely alone. Sighing, Simon slid down to the floor. He wished he could say that the man was a monster, that he had forced Simon’s hand and treated his father unfairly. But the truth was cruel, and Simon had to bite his lip to stop himself from screaming.

The truth was that his father had deserved what he got.

And the beast had been right; Simon Snow was the biggest fool of all.

Memoirs of the Broken People

Originally posted by nctuhohahyes

Pairing: JaehyunX Reader

Genre: Soulmate Au/Angst/Fluff/Historical

Summary: History used to be your favorite class of the day. Used to. But that was before the visions, the lashing out and the incredible, undeniable heartache that erupted every day. History was Jaehyun’s least favorite class too. 

Author’s note: Goddamn, where have I been? IT’S BEEN FOREVER! How are all of you? I’m back from hell and better than ever! Jkjk, anyways, I’ve been super obsessed with NCT lately, especially Taeyong, so ironically I write about Jaehyun apparently??? Anyways! Requests are open still, but I can’t promise I’ll get it done super fast since I’m on vacation. Anywho, Enjoy this piece of shit I just wrote!

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No Strings Attached: Pt. 3

Pairing: Kol x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2173

PART ONE | PART TWO


The cab ride to the Mikaelson Compound felt terribly long. You had the need to just blow up Kol’s phone with calls and texts. But, you knew better that he would only ignore them so instead, you held back.

You gazed out the window and started slightly shaking your right leg from being so impatient to arrive at your destination already. We’re you really in danger or is it possible that Kol got jealous? Surely enough, you won’t stop until your question gets answered.

Finally after what felt like forever, you have arrived. You paid the cab driver with cash, letting him keep the rest of your change as you rushed out. Thank goodness Hope was spending the night at Hayley and Jackson’s apartment because you planned on raising hell once you got inside.

“Kol!” You shouted as you marched inside the compound. “Kol effing Mikaelson!”

Klaus and Elijah just happened to be sitting at the table exchanging words while drinking scotch. “Oh, hey guys.” You greeted, then went back to using your eyes to scan around the compound. “I know you can hear me!”

Just as you grabbed onto the railing to walk upstairs, Klaus stops you to get a word in. “And may I ask what my little brother did this time? It seems that bloke has a habit of getting himself into a mess.” If you had eyes in the back of your head, you would be able to see the amused look Klaus has on his face. The tone in his voice says it all.

“Long story, Klaus.” You weren’t in the mood to vent.

“I assume you’ve been drinking, miss Y/N? I can smell the alcohol in your breath from here.” Elijah said.

“Yup. Your sisters too.” You continued to make your way up the stairs without caring if Klaus and Elijah wanted to add on or not, you needed to speak with Kol.

After looking in room after room, you found Kol hanging out on the patio taking his time drinking out of a blood bag.

“Okay so you’re playing the ignoring game now?I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.” You spat, stopping just a few feet behind him crossing your arms in front of you.

Kol sighed before speaking. “You don’t give up do you?” He turned to face you, setting the now empty blood bag on the nearby table.

You made no answer. “Fine.” Kol sassed then continued, “Well go on, let’s have a seat.” He pointed over at the bed since his bedroom didn’t have any chairs or couches available to sit on. You swallowed, then followed through, perching yourself at the edge of his bed as Kol did too.

“Okay, so?” You questioned, keeping your eyes on him.

“I suppose, seeing you with that vile man made me uneasy. I wanted to snap his neck the moment I saw him speak to you. But seeing as Marcel has these rules, I simply cannot.” Kol said.

“First of all, that man was very polite to me. And secondly, how in the world did it make you feel so uncomfortable that you just had to ruin our night out?” You asked, fixing him with a stare as you await your answer.

“I’m aware that we had these bloody rules about not allowing ourselves to feel feelings for each other. I mentally punish myself for it everyday.”

“Um what?”

Kol took a deep breath. “I, Kol Mikaelson, have unintentionally fallen for my…fuck buddy.” He admitted while forcing a smile.

You stifled a laugh and fell silent for just a moment. If you could, you’d pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming. How in the hell did you get so lucky?

“My apologies, darling. I know this is uncomfortable for you since it’s obvious you’re to trying to move forward with your life and all.” Kol stood up off the bed, he frowned, feeling embarrassed because he assumed you don’t feel the same way he does. “You asked, so I answered.”

“Oh no no no. I’m just processing this right now. Sit back down.” You patted your hand next to you on the firm mattress. “So when I told you yesterday that I wanted to start dating again. I actually don’t.”

Not a word came out of Kol. He just sat there trying to read your facial expressions.

“I ended up having feelings for you too, but since we made that stupid vow, I thought you followed it.” You confessed.

“Why not bother telling me, Y/N?” Kol questioned, resting his hand on top of yours.

“I could say the same to you, Kol.” You blurted, then softened your tone of voice. “But I hate rejection, so, I figured if I just distanced myself, the feelings would go away, you know?”

“I understand, love. Well since that’s all in order, what shall we do?” Kol quickly lightened the mood. He can’t ever be in his feelings for too long or else he’d go crazy.

You stretched, then made yourself comfortable on the bed by resting your head on the pillow. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

Even though Kol ruined your planned night out, you couldn’t help but get over it, especially since he looks so hot in his button up and you were still a little buzzed. Laying in his bed gave you dirty thoughts of all the sex you had with him. You flirted with the idea of Kol being on top of you right now. And of course, since you were his play thing for those last couple of months, you knew exactly how to get him in the mood.

You brushed your hair with your fingers to one side and teasingly bit your bottom lip, hoping it wouldn’t look too obvious that you’re trying.

“You’re a daft one, Y/N.” Kol chuckled, then crawled over to place himself on top of you. He planted his lips on yours which led to a hot and steamy kiss. You started to wrap your legs around his waist until all of a sudden, he stops and pulls back, giving you a devilish grin.

“Um, what’s wrong?” You questioned.

“Sorry, but that’s all you get, love.” Kol made known with that grin plastered all over his face.

“You’re annoying.” You scoffed and moved him off of you so that you can sit up on the bed.

“Oh don’t be so cross with me. Now that we both fancy each other on a deeper level, you’re going to have to work for it, darling.”

At first you didn’t understand, but you realized that Kol did have a point. “Yup, you’re right. So how do we approach this then?”

Kol took a second to think about it and then an imaginary light bulb appeared over his head. “I have a thought. How about I take you on a date or two and we move from there?”

“I’d love that.” The smile on your face could be seen from a mile away. You leaned over to give Kol a kiss on the cheek. “Pick me up tomorrow night at 7:00.”

“Brilliant.” Kol agreed.

You left the room so that you could end your night with Kol at that. Waking downstairs, you can still see Klaus and Elijah in the same spot. “Great.” You mouthed to yourself.

“Where’s Kol? Ah, let me guess. You rid of him with that dagger?” Klaus implied, taking a sip of his bourbon. Elijah just sat there and decided to mind his own business this time by keeping his opinions to himself.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” You joked, then walked out the front so that you could wait outside for your cab. There was no way you were going to wait in the middle of the compound for your cab with Klaus. You were tired and just wanted to go home and get some rest.

As you were waiting, you thought about how excited you are to go on your first date with Kol. You mentally crossed your fingers hoping that this leads to something amazing.

(The First Date…)

You never thought of Kol being the romantic type. Who can blame you though because you were so used to being his booty call that being viewed as something much more will take some getting used to.

The night sky was pitch black as the time is a quarter to 9. Kol told you to dress up and have you meet him at his house. Arriving there, there was a stranger on the driveway dressed in a suit who had special instructions on where you to lead you. You figured Kol had compelled this man.

The man led you towards the backyard in a path that led to the trees which had beautiful lights and lanterns wrapped around and hanging. The end of the path brought you to a table meant for two with high end looking plates and utensils. The table was also minimally decorate with well lit candle and rose in the center of the table. The best part about it, is seeing Kol sitting at the table waiting especially for you.

“Hello, darling. You made it.” Kol smiled, then he got up to pull your chair out for you.

“I mean of course. But oh wow. You did all of this?” You sat down, still looking around amazed with everything.

“I may or may not have compelled someone to help me.”

“Of course you did.” You rolled your eyes at him playfully.

It didn’t take long for the compelled butler (as you call him) to bring out a cart filled with 3 course meals. “Not too shabby.” You commented.

After lots of food and laughter, the night ended successfully. Kol walked you to the car and innocently planted a kiss on the forehead. Butterflies took over your stomach on your drive home and you laid in bed with a gigantic smile on your face.

(Several Dates Later…)

It has been almost a month now that you and Kol had agreed on this whole ‘dating’ thing. To the fortune of both of you, everything has been going great and you were just dying to have sex with him already. You were hoping he was thinking the same thing too.

Today is your day off, so you decided to invite yourself over to the Mikaelson Compound to hang out with Kol. The plan was to watch a couple of movies and maybe even spend some time with Hope if she isn’t with her mom and Jackson. Today would also be the first time that the both of you had alone time in his room since this all started since Kol’s been really strict on taking you out on dates only.

Walking in, you see Rebekah playing with Hope. Kol was just hanging out on the chair scrolling through his phone. It looked as if he was doing it to kill time as he waited on you. “Hey guys.” You announced.

“Hi, Y/N.” Rebekah greeted you, then went back to smothering Hope in kisses.

After Kol heard your name, he looked up and put his phone in his pocket. “Ah, darling. It’s about time you arrived.” Kol stated, greeting you with a hug and a long kiss on the lips.

“Oh you two lovebirds.” Rebekah stopped to compliment.

“So, I brought my favorite Tim Burton movies that we can watch.” You said to Kol, pulling the movies out of your bag for Kol to see, then put it back inside. You would love to give Hope some of your attention, but whenever Rebekah is here, she always tends to hog her.

“Whatever you like.” Kol said while looking at you with loving eyes.

Of course movie time meant cuddling in Kol’s bed under the warm blanket. 30 minutes into the movie, Kol had his hand over your thigh. It wasn’t long until the temptation got to him which led him to slowly traveling his hand high towards your core. Since you’re the one that’s probably wanted it more than him, you were more than happy to allow Kol to do whatever he wanted to you.

You started breathing heavily and let out light moans while he slowly rubbed his fingers in circles through your panties. One thing led to another and the next thing you know, the both of you were ripping each others clothes off.

Before getting too aggressive, Kol stopped himself so that he can take his time with you. This was a first considering when you two were friends with benefits, you were practically attacking each other. But this moment, at this pace was a euphoric experience.

You’ve never made love to anyone like you’ve done with him and you have the confidence to say that he’s the best you ever had, enough to put you to sleep. As Kol was spooning you while you were asleep, he made sure to kiss you goodnight. “So much for finishing this movie, love.” He whispered in your ear.


TAGS:  @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @mikealsonlover @belalugosisdead@allison-rosewood-maximoff @lauren-novak @i-just-feel-gr3at @secondstartotheright-imagines @originalbish98 @creamcheese29 @averyamyers @akhcsol @wrtrsblck @originallov3lylexuss

The Road to Redemption: Arrow 5x11 Review (Second Chances)

Arrow introduced Tina Boland tonight, the new BC, and while we didn’t hit a lot of thematic new ground with her character, they set up an interesting juxtaposition between her, Oliver, Felicity and the road one takes to redemption.

My reference to the three characters in no  way means that I see a love triangle. Sometimes I’m gonna have to write their names all together in a sentence. 

Let’s dig in…

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Why don't you wanna be a girl anymore?

Sometimes when I tell people I identify as trans they ask questions like “why don’t you wanna be a girl anymore” or say things like “oh I understand I hate periods too” and even sometimes they say “sometimes I don’t like my boobs either, they get in the way”. I never knew how to reply to these questions and comments, I understand that when people are trying to understand someone they try very hard to relate. Its a huge factor in learning, if you can make connections between something you already know and something new you are succefully learning. I just recently realized why I never knew how to respond, and while I knew people were just trying to relate and understand it always made me feel worse and frustrated, like someone saying the sky is green when you’ve told them hundreds of times that it is blue. The reason this is so frustrating is because I don’t want to not be a girl anymore, because I’ve never been a girl. I’m not going to go through this transition to become a boy, I’m going to go through the transition process because I am a boy who unfortunately grew breasts and has a vagina. And that’s why its so frustrating when people talk about my transition as if it is me changing who I am as a person, and its not like that at all. I have never been a girl, I’ve just had to be presented as one because of my body. I don’t want to be a boy, I am a boy and I want everyone, including myself, to see me that way. I don’t have the answers to why my mind, energy, and soul don’t match my body, it probably has something to do with genetics, all I know is I’m not simply inconvenienced by periods, boobs, and estrogen I am psychologically damaged by them. And if any cis gendered male randomly started having periods everyone would tell him to immediately seek medical attention. I understand that this this is a confusing topic for cis people because they simply cannot relate, there is nothing in them that is similar to my situation, this isn’t something you can learn, it’s just something to accept. I love being a boy, but I hate the body I have to do it in, so I will do whatever I need to do to be able to love myself in all aspects including physically. I am and have always been a boy.

Dust to Dust - flinthamilton reincarnation AU

History professor and author, Thomas Harper comes across an interesting document concerning Captain Flint while conducting research for his latest book about the untold stories of queer pirates. For some reason he cannot simply let it go, and decides to research it further only to find that his research starts creeping into his mysterious dreams of a beautiful redheaded man named James.

Fic coming soon. 

NO WORRIES [BARRY ALLEN]

request: “Barry Imagine where reader is Barry’s gf and goes to the family Christmas party and meets Team Flash for the first time? thanks for taking requests!!!!!!!” — by anon

a/n: sure sure, i hope you like this one! 😊 oh and i made this imagine take place in season 3 just to let anyone know lol

Masterlist + Request here!

Barry had been trying hard not to laugh at how rattled and nervous you seemed as he drove all the way to Joe West’s household. You were looking back at the window, counting each tree that you passed by to calm your nerves, and your knee was frankly bouncing up and down too much.

“Y/N.” He called your attention, placing a gentle hand on your mentioned knee with a smirk on his face. “If you don’t stop doing that, you might actually find yourself flying out of this car.” he teased, in which you rolled your eyes and slapped his hand.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t even notice that I was doing it.” you let out a shaky laugh.

Barry frowned slightly at the way your voice shook, knowing that you were getting nervous once again for what was installed for you tonight.

You were going to spend your Christmas Eve with Barry for the first time, but that wasn’t the reason why your head seemed to be all over the place, but it was because you were also going to spend it with his family as well with Team Flash, as Barry had already confessed that he was indeed the red speedster protecting Central City.

You feel his thumb rub comforting circles on the back of your hand and although you appreciated it so much, you were still goddamn anxious.

“They’re not going to hate you.” he reminded you just as he stopped the engine and parked the car in front of the house.

You sighed, “I hope they won’t.”

“They won’t.” Barry repeated, removing your seatbelts for you. “I’m sure of it. And even if they did, which they wouldn’t, I’d still be with you. We can be like Romeo and Juliet or something.” he teased, making you laugh.

“You should really win a noble prize for doing amazing pep talks, Barry Allen.” you teased back and he grinned, leaning in to give you a swift kiss of assurance.

“I’m serious, though. Don’t worry much. They’re going to absolutely love you.” Barry said before going out of the car to rush towards the other side, opening the door for you like the true gentleman he was.

You smiled at his words, “Thanks, Bare. I needed that.” you kissed his cheek.

The two of you headed to the front door. You were pleased to meet Iris first, since she was the one who answered it for you, and was surprised when she suddenly pulled you in a tight hug when you were just about to extend your hand out.

“It’s good to finally meet you, Y/N!” Iris grinned as she lets you go. “I’ve been looking forward to this night ever since Barry told me you were coming and I must say, the pictures that he showed me doesn’t do you any justice.”

You blushed at her words and Barry silently groaned.

“Okay, Iris, you don’t want to scare her off.” he said which made you shake your head.

“No, it’s fine.” You told him. “Actually, I could say the same to you, Iris. You are far more beautiful than what I imagined you to be.”

Iris smirked, “I like you already, Y/N.” she laughed. “Anyway, come inside, both of you. Dad’s in the kitchen, serving Grandma Esther’s famous eggnog.”

You raised your eyebrows just as Iris gently grabs your wrist, dragging you inside while you look at Barry, watching him shrug and smile.

“Dad!” she called the attention of a familiar looking man you once saw inside the precinct when you visited Barry once. “This is Y/N, she’s Barry’s special girl.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Detective West.” you shook his hand.

Barry abruptly cleared his throat beside you, “You know, Iris, from what I remember, it is supposed to be my job to introduce my girlfriend to the family and not yours.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle because of what he said, feeling a light weight on your shoulders and realizing that it was only his arm.

“Well, you were too slow so I had to take the matter to my own hands.”

“Please, I’m called the fastest man alive for a reason.” Barry bragged.

Joe West sighed and locked his eyes with yours, “Kids. They will always be kids.” he sent you a gentle smile. “Want some eggnog? It’s a famous recipe and you cannot simply leave this place before you try one.”

“Then count me in.” you smiled back.

Just as you were about to grab the cup between his hands, someone beat you to it and immediately place his lips on it to take a sip, causing Joe to quite hardly slap the person’s arm.

“Cisco, that was supposed to be for Y/N.” he scolded.

The boy widened his eyes, “Y/N?” he glanced sideways and saw you. “As in the girl who Barry cannot stop talking about and gush about for the past weeks? That Y/N?”

“Yes, Cisco, thanks for giving me away.” Barry answered for you instead.

You laughed, “Francisco Ramon, I assume?”

“Franchesco as I like to call him.” a middle aged man interrupted you, shaking your hand then. “I’m Harrison Wells 3.0, also known as H.R., also known as the better and handsomest of all the Harrison Wells.” he grinned.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” you returned the gesture.

Barry was delighted to see that everybody was welcoming you with open arms. Caitlin had soon walked over and introduced herself along with Julian Albert, whom you already knew because you visited Barry’s lab a lot, and Wally West who was also very happy to meet you. He knew your course when you were back in college had something to do with the track he was pursuing as well, and that made the two of you click almost instantly.

After what seemed like hours of talking with every single one in the room, whether it be about you, about them, about your relationship with Barry, the thought of them ever hating you quickly vanished as the night dawned deeper. You felt ridiculous for ever thinking such thoughts and had the urge to apologize for thinking that way.

The door closed just as the both of you said your goodbyes, walking hand in hand towards the car that has been waiting patiently at the sidewalk.

“Come on, I know you’ve been dying to say it.” You said, stopping at the pavement to talk to him before you got inside the vehicle.

Barry arched an eyebrow, “What are you talking about?” he questioned but it was obvious he did.

“Okay, I might have been overreacting a little bit about what they would think of me. I’m just honestly relieved that they didn’t pull a ‘if you hurt Barry, I’ll hurt you’ kind of talk.” you joked.

“I told you so.” he finally said which made you snort. “And they know you wouldn’t hurt me. You love me too much, right?” he teased, wrapping his arms around your body.

“Wow, someone’s a little too confident.”

“What, is it not true?” he taunted.

You raised your hands up in surrender, “Hey, I neither denied nor confirmed the statement.”

“Ouch.” he touched his chest where his heart was dramatically and the both of you laughed. Barry then grinned and got something from his pocket, “Which reminds me …” he dangled a mistletoe on top of your heads. “You know the drill.”

You chuckled, “If you wanted to kiss me, all you had to do was ask.”

The two of you leaned towards each other and kissed, your hands travelling through his hair while his own squeezed you waist tightly. Before things can get heated of course, you heard Cisco’s shout from the household, you pulling away to look.

“Ha! Told you he would pull that stunt with Y/N. Where’s my money, Caitlin?”

You laughed at what you heard, Barry’s eyes rolling while his cheeks flush and in that moment, you knew this wasn’t going to be the last time you’ll be hearing from Cisco or the rest of Team Flash for that matter.

Convo inspired by this post.

[08:24:12] @gallusrostromegalus: gigglesnort
[08:24:32] @gallusrostromegalus: I can kind of see han and chewie being on Hondo’s crew for a while tho?


[08:24:46] @jhaernyl: Until they double cross him?
[08:24:48] @jhaernyl​: Han being Han


[08:25:25] @gallusrostromegalus: look, everyone involved double, triple and quintuple crossed eachother.
[08:25:39] @gallusrostromegalus: except for chewie who was not present to restore order


[08:26:41] @jhaernyl​: ‘So I’m doublecrossing Hondo for his vice, but I’m also doublecrossing the vice to Hondo or is that a triple cross? And then there’s the fact that I’m doublecrossing both of them, or is triple-crossing the vice and quadruple-crossing Hondo?, to the guy who is going to get me out of here.’
[08:26:53] @jhaernyl​: Maybe that’s why Hondo is on Tattooine and Han is nowhere in sight.
[08:27:02] @jhaernyl​: Hondo came to see if Han was hanging around and Han ghosted.


[08:28:42] @gallusrostromegalus: Obi-wan walks in to han and hondo trying to murder eachother with broken bottles while chewie tried to hold them apart and is about to tell luke they’re in the wrong bar when chewie yells something to the effect of 'YOU OWE ME JEDI"


[08:28:54] @jhaernyl​: Ha
[08:29:01] @jhaernyl​: And then Hondo turns because 'Jedi? What Jedi?’
[08:29:03] @jhaernyl​: And 'KENOBI!’


[08:29:29] @gallusrostromegalus: obi-wan fffffffffffffffFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK  hi chewie how u?


[08:29:55] @jhaernyl​: Hondo preventing Obi-Wan from dying on the Death Star
[08:30:14 | Edited 08:30:39] @jhaernyl​: Because 'You haven’t paid me yet. Bad for business Kenobi, if my clients think they can get out of a debt by dying at the hands of the Empire.’


[08:30:35] @gallusrostromegalus : so that he may give it an outrageous paint job and go joyriding in it?
[08:30:41] @gallusrostromegalus : PFFFT


[08:30:51] @jhaernyl​: Vader: Hondo? YOU TOOK UP WITH HONDO ?


[08:31:11] @gallusrostromegalus: i think obi-wan will let him have a personal party moon if he de-comissions the lazer.
[08:31:49] @gallusrostromegalus: I’M SORRY ANAKIN ARE YOU TRYING TO GUILT ME FOR TAKING UP WITH DUPLICIOUS WRINKLY SACKS BECAUSE IF THAT’S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY-


[08:32:15 | Edited 08:33:25] @jhaernyl​: Luke and Hondo tug Obi-Wan in the Falcon before he can finish that.
[08:32:29] @jhaernyl​: Because of course Hondo leveraged Han’s owing him to get the Falcon in on the action.
[08:32:42] @jhaernyl​: 'This will pay off your debt. Well. Most of your debt. Let’s say a part.’
[08:33:34] @jhaernyl​ : Leia all 'Oh General Kenobi, good. Finally someone with some sense.“
[08:33:40] @jhaernyl​ : Obi-Wan looks at her bemusedly. No one has accused him to have any sense in him for decades.


[08:33:48] @gallusrostromegalus: no leia. no.
[08:34:06] @gallusrostromegalus: obi-wan hasn’t had sense since puberty


[08:34:27] @jhaernyl​: She grew up with Bail’s stories about General Kenobi and Bail tended to skip over the more 'death defying stunts’ parts of it.
[08:34:32] @jhaernyl​: Because he didn’t want Leia to get ideas.
[08:34:48] @jhaernyl​: Also unsaid, the 'the man won’t say he’s hurt no matter if he’s dying in your arms’ parts.
[08:35:12] @jhaernyl​: Hondo is somewhere going 'Oh yes, sense. That’s definitely something Kenobi has in spades.’
[08:35:24] @jhaernyl​: Which cues Han in on the fact that Obi-Wan has no sense at all.
[08:35:32] @jhaernyl​: Not that Luke or Leia believe Han.


[08:36:03] @gallusrostromegalus: (it’s 2:30 am and i should go to bed but YES)


[08:36:10 | Edited 08:38:44] @jhaernyl​: Leia simply cannot believe that such a devastatingly effective general could ever be anything less than fully knowing what he’s doing and absolutely practical, so it’s of course all just a tactic.
[08:36:16] @jhaernyl​: Kenobi is misdirecting.
[08:36:18] @jhaernyl​: It’s genius.
[08:36:25] @jhaernyl​: Leia has found a new role model.
[08:36:42] @jhaernyl​: Luke just thinks Ben is his beloved Master and there is no getting through to him.
[08:36:47] @jhaernyl​: Of course Ben knows what he’s doing.
[08:36:52] @jhaernyl​: Look how he and Leia are getting on!
[08:37:12] @jhaernyl​: 'That is not what I’d call praise, kid.’

For Closure, Carl Grimes.

A/N: After all of the amazing feedback I got on my first Carl imagine I decided to write this one last week. It isn’t as log as the other one but is still pretty lengthy. I hope you guys like it as much as the last one.

Summary: The reader and Carl have been close ever since they were at the Prison and now are much older. Starting of in the middle of the Negan line-up scene, the two are sent through a roller-coaster of their own emotions. From being left devastated from the incident from the line-up and their fear of getting closer with one another this covers the vulnerabilities tied into caring about someone else in a world with such high stakes.

Word Count: 16,354

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Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella Sentence Starters

Feel free to adjust pronouns.

“The fields are aglow in autumn yellow.”
“You will dream about the view.”
“It makes you wish that the world could be as lovely as it looks.”
“Me, who am I?”
“I’m/They’re a bum who wants to do what’s right…but often does what’s wrong.”
“I’m/They’re a kid who’s voice is way off key, but loves to sing a song.”
“They dream like a lion but wake up like a lamb.”
“Slayer of dragons! Pitiless to ogres! Destroyer of griffins and giants!”
“He’s our hero!”
“Such perfection!”
“What’s the use of self-reflection?
"What a guy!”
“He’s a plain and simple complicated fascinating guy!”
“I’m as mild and as meek as a mouse.”
“When I hear a command I obey.”
“I can be whatever I want to be.”
“I’m a young Norwegian princess.”
“I’m an heiress who has always had her silk made.”
“I’m a girl men go mad for!”
“Love’s a game I can play!”
“Just as long as I say in my own little corner.”
“It’s a dangerous kind of sport and yet it’s fun!”
“Please don’t say my whole name!”
“Now is the time to act.”
“No other time will do!”
“Live and play your part.”
“Don’t give away your heart.”
“Don’t take what the world gives you.”
“Yesterday has gone.”
“Tomorrow is a guess.”
“The Prince is giving a ball!”
“That means ANYONE can be the Queen!”
“So will he want a taller girl? Or a stronger girl? Or a smaller girl?”
“I wish I were a bolder girl.”
“I wish I were a younger girl.”
“I wish I were an older girl.”
“I’ve wished a lot of things I don’t wish anymore.”
“Now I wish a lot of things I’ve never wished before.”
“I wish I were invited to the Prince’s Royal Palace ball!”
“The color on their faces is a sort of sour apple green.”
“I am coy and flirtatious!”
“Fol-de-rol and fiddledy-dee.”
“All the wishes in the world are poppycock and twaddle!”
“Are you mocking me with your gibberish?”
“All dreamers in all the world are dizzy in the noodle.”
“So what if I do have a dream to see the Prince again?”
“Exactly.  And then to have him fall in love with you.”
“No one will fall in love with me.”
“Why do you come to visit me tonight?”
“I am being foolish.”
“Then be foolish with me. What would you dream of?”
“Right here. There’s an invitation.”
“Don’t wait for everything to be perfect, just go!”
“Now, what else would you dream of?”
“Oh how silly.  I’d be the envy of all.”
“Why, in order to do that, you would have to be a fairy godmother.”
“Are you really my fairy godmother?”
“Actually, I’m everyone’s fairy godmother.”
“But you’re the only one who’s given me charity.”
“The world is full of zanies and fools.”
“It’s the most beautiful gown in all the land!”
“Ten minutes ago, I saw you.”
“I looked up when you came through the door.”
“My head started reeling!”
“You gave me the feeling the room had no ceiling or floor.”
“I wanted to ring out the bells.”
“I have found her!”
“I may never come down to earth again!”
“Why would a fellow want a girl like her?”
“Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer a solid girl like me?”
“With very little trouble, I could break her little arm!”
“So why is the fellow going crazy?”
“What’s the matter with the man?”
“ I like the way he really holds a room.”
“How do I make him see I’m special?”
“I’ve got the patience of a perfect saint.”
“I’m in a mess.”
“Loosen my dress.”
“Help me I’m starting to faint!”
“There are reports along the eastern road of a golden carriage.”
“And this I cannot explain – it simply flew into the mist!”
“Impossible, I know.”
“Then we shall do the impossible!”
“Ten minutes ago…we were dancing.”
“She vanished like a phantom in the night.”
“You’re the girl of my dreams.”
“That’s it! That’s the one! After her!!”
“He was tall, very tall.”
“She talks as if she knows.”
“How would you know that this is so?”
“I do no more than guess.”
“He is more than a prince. He’s an ace!”
“He can turn a girl to gravy!”
“I can imagine it, and I have no imagination.”
“I am throwing caution to the wind! I am imagining it as well!”
“Imagine what that girl would be feeling when dancing with the Prince!”
“A finer night you know you’ll never see.”
“Darling, I love you!”
“All your life you’ll dream of this.”
“Okay, but it’s not going to be good.”
“Are you sure you can keep my secret?”
“May we both find our loves.”
“I wake in the loneliness of sunrise.”
“Will my love come home to me.”
“And of course – I want to keep an eye on what women are there!”
“Breaking through the darkness.”
“Someone wants you.”
“There is music in you.”
“Now you can do whatever you want to do.”
“You will sing your whole life through.”
“Do I love you because you’re beautiful?”
“Or are you beautiful because I love you?”
“Are you the sweet invention of a lover’s dream?”
“Is that the last eligible lady in the kingdom?”
“Everyone truly has tried on the slipper?”
“I haven’t tried on the slipper.”
“The shoe fits!”
“I love you so much, I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh. Well. Is marriage still on the table?”
“Yes. YES. OH MY – YES!!”
“You have to marry me. I mean, will you marry me?”
“I will marry you.”
“What a lucky girl/guy, got your girl/guy!”
“Love is the song that you’ll sing your whole life through.”

On the day I was born, there was a storm;
I came into this world amid blood and wind,
Tumultuous waves of salt and seas of pain,
To hear the first words from my mother:
Thank God it’s a girl.

It’s a girl…
Barely a breath breathed and I am marked,
Known for the parts between my legs
That will dictate my femininity
For the rest of my childhood.


“But why can’t I be a boy?”
An innocent question for a six year old, right?
So why did it earn me a kick in the teeth,
A disdainful glare that stabbed me over and again,
Like Norman Bates’ kitchen knife,
As I recanted the question
And locked it up for a later date.


But it didn’t stay locked.
The question kept creeping through,
Five year down the road, then ten.
“Why can’t I be a boy?”
Restless nights of dreaming I was “him,”
Turned into days of acting the part,
As simple as the name
Written in sharpie on a paper coffee cup.
“It’s Émile. E-M-I-L-E
Yeah, like Emilie but the male variant.”
And sipping my latte, the one with my name on it,
I told myself that I must be a boy on the inside.

I was given a word for it eventually.
Transgender.
And oh god how that terrified me!
It sounded like transvestite and those were evil,
As per the words of the harpie
Who came into my room each morning,
Even before I was dressed,
To ridicule and tell me how disappointed she was in me,
But thank God I had been born a girl!

And so I fought it.
Good god, I really fought myself
Just to make her proud,
To be the pretty daughter she wanted,
With sweet smiles and demure blush,
Ready to serve the man of her choosing,
All the while knowing it was a fabrication,
Trying to lock away the feelings of masculinity
Until my wrists bled and my teeth ached
From saying the lies over and over,
My clenched jaw claiming womanhood
As the man raged and tore at the bars,
Screaming, “This is not who you are!”

Mama, I tried so hard to make you happy!
But here I am with my Iscariot heart
That’s made you weep and despise me,
Made me your crown of thorns.
I am not and never was your little girl,
But I am your son who longs for you!
I am not anathema, nor damned,
Simply a man who is tired,
Who cannot pretend to be what he is not.


On the day I was born, I was labelled
With a bright red “F” on a sheet of paper,
That would seek to define me from cradle to grave.
But when I die, it will be etched in stone:
“Here lies he who was husband, father, and a good man.”
May it be a memorial for the ages,
The public knowledge that I am a man.
And this ending to the game will stand the test of time:
That rock finally beat paper.

To Build a Home (3/3)

He throws the note into the sea and she waits until she stops in a house that was once home. 

Rating: M

Part One: Here.  | Part Two: Here

Read on ff.net here

It happens like this:

Nemo does indeed find a seller of kraken blood and Killian did have enough gold hidden in various compartments on his person to purchase it. Legally. Sort of.

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I’ve Already Got Your Heart. (Darkiplier X Reader)

Originally posted by rubies-and-oaktrees

((What is up everyone, @roseandarkholm here and this is my first upload on my Side Blog! I’d like to thank @justwritingscibbles for their lovely work and inspiring me to make this Blog and its content! I might tag you in my other works if you don’t mind I’m unsure yet but I hope you enjoy the story even if it is a bit short~.))


     When had this started?
     Why had this started?
     What had you done?
     Well the answer to those questions was only known to one Man, Entity really, and whom would never give you a straight answer should you ever ask. If you had the chance to ask. It started out as small things, things you didn’t really notice would happen they were so small, a shadow moving against a wall. A figure that didn’t quite fit in with the crowd but one that got swallowed up by the Sea of people when you tried to seek it out. Static even when an electronic device wasn’t on. Missing objects you’d go crazy trying to find suddenly showing up in the most obvious of places. Things you found yourself longing for would show up on your bed placed out neatly. Your life had turned into a Stalker Mystery though oddly enough you didn’t feel scared even though you knew in this type of situation the victim should be terrified. Yet you weren’t. If anything you looked forward to the little changes in your life; almost like an Angel was watching over you. Then again it could just be someone you knew messing with you.
     Oh how wrong you were to think that.
     So laughably wrong.
     You wouldn’t even notice the type of hell you were in because he didn’t want you to.
     He wanted you to be happy. Depend on him. Seek him out even though he was slowly poisoning you into being the obedient little pet he so deeply craved.
     Oh and how willingly you fell into his trap~.
     You didn’t even see the danger you were in! Such a stupid little creature, humans never were smart when it came to avoiding his type of skill and manipulation so he didn’t really find it all to shocking. What he did find shocking how ever was you. You alone had captivated his thoughts in the otherwise angry void of darkness that had encased his soul, if he had ever had one, and brought a type of light he never knew. You who’s smile could easily turn his raging thoughts into a calm stream that only flowed in one direction. A laugh so beautiful it put any music to shame with how the sound carried and how care free it seemed to be.
     Oh he’d have you. Someway he’d have you as his and his alone.
     Dark had been going about his little plan for Months. Slowly weaving himself into your thoughts, your curiosity, your life, until it seemed he had always been there. A shadow ever looming over you as you went about your day seemingly unaware of the being you had managed to capture the attention of. And you weren’t. Not unless he wanted you to know his presence. Dark had been playing this game so long he couldn’t even remember a time when he hadn’t been the King of what some had taken to calling Cat and Mouse. Today was the day you’d see him, he would make sure of it. Nothing would take his opportunity away from him and no-one would get on his way.
     Watching you had become something of the norm for him, as time passed Dark had memorized your entire life schedule and knew when and where to attack.      Entering your home you sat the bag down that had seemed to grow heavier at the sudden realization of being home you locked the door behind you before sighing. That had been a long day but one you needed to get done and over with in order to move on with your life. Just as you were about to move something stopped you. Your home was…cold. Had it always been this dark? Reaching for the light switch and flicking it a couple of times things seemed to only get worse as the lights above refused to turn on as if scared to do their job. Scoffing with a roll of your eyes you made your way through the darkened, silent halls each sound somehow magnified and so much louder than they usually would seem. “Get it together. It was just a long day.” You muttered to yourself as you neared the sanctuary of your room. Grasping the frozen doorknob your body refused to move as if an invisible wall was stopping you from moving past the point in time you found yourself stuck in. Shaking your head and forcing yourself to open the door you stepped into your room but everything stopped as you saw the figure near your window.
     A tall, dark figure that was barely visible against the shadows that seemed to swirl around your room looked out the window with his hands clasped behind his back unmoving as the door slammed behind you causing you to jump. “There’s no need to be afraid.” The stranger in the suit spoke as he moved his head to the side for a moment as if stretching before standing still once more, “I’m not going to harm you my dear.”
     This was wrong. Who was he and how did he get in your house?! Was he why the lights weren’t working? Looking around your body tensing as static filled your ears once more everything seemed to vanish from sight except for him and that deep darkness edging ever closer to you. “Wh-who are you? H-how did you get in my house?” You attempted a demand hoping that the waver of your voice wouldn’t show just how horrified you truly were.
     A low rumble came from the mans chest, something resembling a chuckle but it was to sweet to be any kind of good in this situation, as he turned to face you. “My dear haven’t you notice everything that’s been happening~? The missing objects you yearned for showing up? What you couldn’t have appearing?” The sweet voice was clearly hiding a deep underlying rage as he spoke, “I thought it would seem obvious who I am. Clearly you need help remembering though. Not your fault, after all Humans are so easily forgetful. I am your everything (Name)~.” The man growled as his form seemed to twitch and shift in ways no Human was able to. It was almost as if he was a Video glitching. His form broke from the calm to something clearly growling with rage seemingly ready to pounce on you causing you some sort of harm before returning to the eery calm it had been only Seconds ago.
     "I-I’m sorry but I…would remember meeting someone like…you.“ You tried to calm the situation though as much as you tried to remain in some sort of self control your feet refused to move from their spot no matter how desperately you tried to force them to take a step away from the Man who’s eyes burned into your very soul, "L-look I-”
     "Yet you clearly don’t! I’ve been there for you when you had no one! I alone have been the one to make you smile when you were in tears! Silently helping you move through this life ad doing everything I can to make you happy! I can give you anything you could ever want yet you can’t even remember I’m the one keeping your life how you want it!“ He snapped before taking a deep breath and fixing his already perfect suit, ”I’ve been here for so long- waiting for the right moment to show myself to you my dear, sweet (Name) yet the moment never seemed right. Until now. You see something about you has captivated my attention. You’ve somehow managed to drill your way into my thoughts and as hard as I try you simply wont leave me be. You see (Name)…I’ve been searching. Searching for someone that will do as I say. Be by my side- my Queen if you will.“ The Man explained while slowly stalking toward you as if he was a predator about to kill its prey.
     "None I’ve encountered in my many Years of existence has quite had that…something…you do. No sound has sounded quite as lovely as your laugh. No smile as bright. No (Color) Eyes so captivating. There is something about you my dear that I simply cannot let pass me by. Something that I cannot allow anyone else to have. You may call my Dark if you’d like, though there are many other things I would gladly answer to but those are for a different time. Now let’s focus on the present shall we love?” Dark hummed low as he stopped in front of you a light Grey, icy hand reaching up to brush its knuckles across your cheek, “We are going to have a long talk. One where I will be explaining the rules of what is and isn’t to be done. What’s about  to happen will undoubtably change your life love but don’t worry. No harm will come to you as long as you do as I say and follow the rules.” Bringing his free hand to your hip Dark pulled you close and pressed your bodies together while the other wormed its way into your (Color) hair and gripped it gently yet firmly.
     "While you might not know it yet my dear I’ve already got your Heart in the palm my hand. Oh, we’re going to be so happy together (Name). Forever.“ Dark growled meaningly while smile he gave you was one that let you know exactly what kind of situation you were in.
     And there was nothing you could do to escape.
     Dark always got what he wanted no matter how long it took he worked and planed and in the end what ever seemed to be just out of reach was soon wrapped around his finger.
     You, (Name), were no different.
     You’re his now and forever more…well…that is until you step out of line.
     ”Just do as I say (Name), and you’ll never have to worry about anything ever again.“ Dark purred in a sweet tone just before hungrily capturing your lips in a kiss.