i shouldnt have started this

had a Good Talk with @wittyy-name today and got this Hot Tip™ for writing: make a goddamn conspiracy board. all i need now is some string and blurry photos of bigfoot. this is what writing is actually like. it’s all connected. cant u see

what you’re looking at up there is the plot of deepest shade – every event, flashback, meeting, and conversation that i know Needs To Happen so far. i’m hoping to find and patch holes so that i can write and share the best possible version of this fic with you all. it’s becoming my BFF (Big Fucking Fic) and writing it is going to be like birthing a child. i have never undertaken anything of this scope before, and i’m both excited and terrified. i’m hoping to have this bitch finished before season 3.

i hope u will all enjoy this self indulgent monster of a fic as it’s released, and humor me whining about it, and talK TO ME about it if you want!!! and thanks again wittyy, your secret ninja techniques are worKING. *rolls up sleeves* let’s go ny’all

the signs as shit my parents have sent me
  • aries: im cross, very cross, and a bit constipated, that poo made my eyes water
  • taurus: really, night night, someone has to sleep with your mum....
  • gemini: i leave you with a happy mental image, no wait, ill send an actual meme in about 3 hours, just need the head torch, the action cam and a fluffy toy ....
  • cancer: Whoops it sent the punch - how does this technology shit work again
  • leo: beware the daddywocky...
  • virgo: Why relevance matter? - in a boxtrolls paradigm anything goes
  • libra: Naturally, I'm a vert calming influence. Unless Tim places toilet paper .... and lights the tenth sheet .....
  • scorpio: theres nothing wrong with masturbation,,, its sex with someone you love
  • sagittarius: Yes. But Huge Jackman. I would
  • capricorn: due to the gravitatronic effect of mass on the space time continuum strange local dilation effects can occur resulting in the apparent rapid passage of time to the outside observer while your father remains 25
  • aquarius: its too long for harry,,, but too short for dick
  • pisces: I'm down with the meme kids me, coolly kicking back .....

kata-chan  asked:

I'm a poor student that can't afford the smut doujins :( cheer me up plzz

Lol ok so there’s this part in the doujin that takes place right after the war and they’ve decided to start dating but it’s only been a week. He’s in the hospital and she’s taking care of him, all very sweet, etc.

Well she winds up cheerily busting the door open to give him a checkup and accidentally walks in on him jerking off. She turns beet red/has a meltdown “ohhh my goddd ohh I’m so sorry i should have knocked askshalaljkdjaj youre a boy you have needs i didn’t realize you’d be alsjskakska !!!! I mean, i can, i can heLp yOu if you want- !” To which he just awkwardly sits there, staring out the window with his dick in his hand, she turns even more red, starts freaking out again “I SHOULDNT HAVE MADE THAT STUPID JOKE, it was a JoKe, agghhh I’m sorry!! I should have knocked first-”


“I’ll leave and come back later, I-”

“..lend me a hand”

anonymous asked:

mom... im starting to have feelings for someone i shouldnt... god she's making me FEEL again. ive only ever felt like this for one other person, and it ended so bad it took me 3 years to cut her out of my life.... i cant tell my real mom this so i only have you, my internet mom... side note, love u, and glad u doin great.

if i were your mom i’d go full FBI mode. catch me collecting evidence for and against whether this person is worth giving a shot. catch me interrogating her with a big ass lamp melting her face off with the full force of the sun . but i can’t and i have no good advice either so i feel a bit helpless

but if it’s any consolation, i think we’ve all been there and understand your fear, so don’t be afraid to let it all out. we’re here to listen. or in my case, try to ease your concerns with bad humor (me as a therapist: pulls out memes to lighten the mood)

The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone. She was very old, though she did not know it, and she was no longer the careless color of sea foam, but rather the color of snow falling on a moonlit night. But her eyes were still clear and unwearied, and she still moved like a shadow on the sea.
—  Chapter 1, The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

don’t think about Danse being a dad or you’ll cry


You owe me. You’ve made yourself essential to me. You’ve given me something else to, to be.