i shouldn't be laughing at this as hard as i am

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.
Not good enough

Prompt: “Do you have any idea how many people are dead because I wasn’t clever enough, wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough?”

word count: 1260

warnings: angst

Originally posted by hardyness

Being Peter Parker best friend wasn’t an easy task. The boy was the most unselfish, caring and intelligent person you have met, however he was also the most oblivious one. He didn’t seem to notice how you were totally in love with him and had been for a couple of months now. The only person who knew was Aunt May, who insisted you told him about your feelings since he probably felt the same way.

“ I just know it Y/n! Can’t you trust me on this one?” you remember  May saying  as she tried to convince you of asking Peter out.

You wanted to, you really wanted to believe her, however you knew that was impossible, so you just keep on pretending that everything was fine and there were strictly platonic feelings. Although it was really hard for you, specially as you were heading to Peter’s to watch a movie together. The sort of things a couple will do in a date. Except you weren’t a couple, and it wasn’t a date.

Whatever, you were settled for pinning after Peter in silence.


Peter was supposed to be home after the Stark internship, however he wasn’t there yet. As you waited for the boy to arrive you lied on Peter’s bed and closed your eyes for just a moment.

After what felt like minutes later but was probably hours you heard some shuffling around, excited to see Peter again you lifted the covers but instead of finding your best friend you saw spiderman crawling down from the ceiling.

As you realized that his back was facing you, you quietly got out of bed and stood behind him, trying to be as quiet and quick as possible. You lifted your right arm above his head and pulled his mask to you, revealing a brunette haired boy in front of you.

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, it couldn’t be true.

“Pe-Peter? Is that you?” you stuttered, trying to calm yourself down

“What are you doing here?” His voice was low and it sounded kind of, angry? He still wasn’t facing you even though all you wanted was to see his eyes.

“I was waiting for you! How long has this been going on?” Despite your words Peter was still facing the wall “ Look at me Peter!”

He finally turned around but he kept his eyes locked to the ground as he said

“You were never supposed to find out, now that you know you can’t be here; you have to go!”

Why on earth wouldn’t he want her to know? They were best friends, they were supposed to tell each other everything!

“Why didn’t you want me of know? Do you not trust me anymore?”

His eyes locked at you with a glint of confusion and hurt. Of course he trusted you, but he had to protect you. He approached you and grabbed your shoulders as he said

“I do trust you, God Y/n I trust you more than I trust myself, but- but is not is safe for you! And I never wanted you to know who I am”

“Peter are you kidding? You are a freaking superhero! You have saved so many people! Why wouldn’t you tell me?!”

This was too much. Peter couldn’t stand there while you praised him for such things. Had he saved people? yes, but he had also let so many people down. So many people he couldn’t stop or save. It was just a matter of time before someone figured out his feelings for you and tried to hurt you. He didn’t deserve your love let alone your friendship. He didn’t deserve you.

“ I’m not as good as you think I am.”As you looked into your eyes you could see how fragile and weak this boy really was, how much he was hurting.

“Peter I know you. You are the same guy who helps old ladies find their way to the subway, the kind of person to help a little girl get her cat back from a tree, you helped me so much when I lost my father, with or without the mask you are still that guy”

“All I ever wanted was to protect you and Aunt May, I couldn’t bare to lose any of you! You have to stay away from me or they’ll come to get you!”

“Peter before I knew about you being spider man I could have gotten killed as well and it didn’t happen! And anyways, who is them?”

Was Peter in any sort of danger? Is that why he wanted you away?

Up to this point you have both tried to keep your voices down, however as the argument got more heated you started to raise your voices as well.

“Do you know how many people want me dead? They will do anything to get to me! Including hurting you!”

“Why would they hurt me?!”

“Because I love you! I love you more than anything! And if anything happens to you because of me, because of who I am I wouldn’t forgive myself!”

Peter gasped in horror as he realized what he had just said. He couldn’t believe he had said that out loud and neither could you. Did he really meant it?

He tried to push you away and turn around but you cupped his face before he could do so. You stared into his eyes and tried to show him how much he meant to you, how much you cared for him.

“Pete, I love you so much, I have loved you for a while now”

You brought you face close to him ready to kiss him until he mumbled under his breath.

“You shouldn't”

“Mmmh?” What was Peter saying?

“You shouldn’t love me, I’m not good for you” He tried to push you away one more time as he said, “Do you have any idea how many people are dead because I wasn’t clever enough, wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough?”

It finally hit you. Peter felt so guilty over so many things that weren’t his fault. He was still punishing himself for deaths and accidents that weren’t him to blame.

“Peter you are the best person I know. You are the only one who knows all my fears, what makes me laugh and what will make me cry. You know exactly what to say and do to make me happy. And all those deaths, they are not your fault Peter! You are not a bad person, if anything you are the most noble and brave guy I know”

You approached him once again, this time holding him near to you as you hugged him. You lifted your face to see he’s already staring at you. There was truly nobody else who could make you as happy as he did.

You stared at his lips as both of you got closer, closing the distance between you. Finally after what felt like an eternity his lips touched yours, colliding into a sweet kiss that you’ve both been waiting since a long time ago. You grabbed the back of his head and pulled his hair as he brought you even closer. After a few moments you both pulled away trying to calm down your breathing, your forehead touching with his.

When you finally opened you eyes and saw his you felt safer than anywhere else, You both knew this was exactly where you belonged. In the arms of each other.

“Peter, there is no one else I rather be with”

Will You Fake Date Me? (Jimin Fluffy Imagine)
  • Y/N sits on the couch enjoying a delicious bowl of popcorn. Her eyes are glued to the screen where a scary movie plays. Y/N's eyes widen in anticipation, her mouth ajar. She lifts a handful of popcorn to her mouth when-
  • JIMIN: Y/N!
  • Jimin barges through her front door. His small figure is illuminated by the moon of the dark night.
  • Y/N: AHHHHH!
  • By pure reflex, and not a hint of maliciousness, Y/N flings the tin bowl of popcorn at Jimin, showering her living room in kernels and nailing Jimin in the head.
  • JIMIN: OW! Y/N! What the hell?
  • Jimin massages the blow to his head.
  • Y/N: Jimin, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
  • JIMIN: Yeah, I'm fine.
  • After hearing this, Y/N proceeds to smack Jimin upside the head.
  • JIMIN: OW!?
  • Y/N: That was for scaring me. How did you even get in here?
  • Jimin plops himself down on the couch with a sour expression and his hands rubbing the spot on his head that had received yet another blow.
  • JIMIN: The door was unlocked. You know for someone who watches a bunch of thriller movies, you really don't take all the necessary precautions.
  • Y/N sits beside him and pauses the movie.
  • Y/N: Why are you here? Shouldn't you be on a date with 'Super hot as fuck' Irene.
  • Y/N tries to pull off her best imitation of Jimin when she says, "Super hot as fuck" but her voice comes out a lot deeper than his.
  • JIMIN: Why don't we just call her 'Super hot bitch' 'cuz it turns she only asked me to come out to make Taehyung jealous.
  • Y/N: Seriously?
  • JIMIN: Yes seriously. I just can't believe I thought she actually wanted to go out with me. You know to actually date me.
  • Y/N pauses. She doesn't really know what to say in this situation. She's used to always being the one sulking and Jimin cheering her up.
  • JIMIN: Okay you can stop with the pity stares. I'll live.
  • Y/N: You came to the right place Jimin. My shoulders aren't as sturdy as Jin's but they are here for your tears.
  • Jimin bursts out laughing. Y/N flings kernels of popcorn on the couch at him.
  • JIMIN: That was terrible. Thank you.
  • Jimin sighs.
  • JIMIN: As much as I'd like to stop holding back my tears, I came here on strict business.
  • Y/N raises her eyebrow.
  • Y/N: I'm all ears Agent Chim.
  • JIMIN: I want you to fake date me.
  • Y/N pauses.
  • Y/N: If this were a movie, this would be the perfect moment for a spit take.
  • JIMIN: Y/N, I'm serious.
  • Y/N: You're joking.
  • JIMIN: I just said 'I'm serious'
  • Y/N: That's insane. Friends don't just fake date each other.
  • JIMIN: How would we know? To us it wouldn't be fake dating.
  • Y/N: Jimin, shut up. No way, I am not fake dating you.
  • JIMIN: Please, Y/N, I need your help.
  • Jimin grabs Y/N's hand in his. He tilts his head and pouts his lips. Y/N shakes her head at him.
  • Y/N: Why? Why would we even need to do this?
  • JIMIN: I want Irene to want me. I want her to see what she could have had. What we could have been.
  • Y/N frowns and pulls her fingers away from Jimin's
  • Y/N: Why do you like her so much?
  • JIMIN: What do you mean?
  • Y/N: What's so great about her? I mean yeah she's pretty and all but so are lots of girls. What's so different about her?
  • Jimin pauses. You can tell he's thinking pretty hard about this. He slumps back on the couch and stares into his lap.
  • JIMIN: Honestly I have no idea.
  • Y/N: See? You want to do all this for a girl you don't even really like.
  • JIMIN: I do like her. I just don't know what I like about her.
  • Y/N huffs and the two sit awkwardly in silence on the couch for a moment. A few times Jimin starts his sentence to name something he likes about Irene but then falls back into thought. Eventually Y/N breaks the silence and says.
  • Y/N: You know, if you had just asked me to go on a date with you, I would have said yes.
  • JIMIN: You mean like a real date?
  • Y/N: Yeah, a real date. I kinda get how you felt earlier about Irene using you to get to Taehyung now. And its not your fault. I should of told you earlier Jimin. I like you.
  • Jimin's eyes are wide. He stares at Y/N who is looking down into her lap awaiting for his response. Eventually she breaks the silence again.
  • Y/N: You're my best friend Jimin and I would do anything to help you but fake dating you would be so much harder for me than you think because that's probably the closest we would ever get to becoming more than friends.
  • Y/N gets up off the couch and slowly makes her way to the landing of the stairs.
  • Y/N: It's late. I'm going to bed. You can let yourself out. Goodnight Jimin.
  • Y/N reaches the first step of the stairs when Jimin calls-
  • JIMIN: Wait!
  • Y/N stops at the step and turns around to face Jimin.
  • JIMIN: When you asked me what I liked about Irene, I couldn't think of anything. But when you said what you said right now, I asked myself what I liked about you, and there were so so many reasons Y/N. I like everything about you. Even the annoying things aren't that annoying. Y/N, I think I like you too.
  • A/N:
  • Hello! This is my first time writing an imagine in screenplay format. I tried to incorporate both into one and this is what we got. I really hope you guys liked this because this was a lot of fun to write. Also to the Anon who requested this, I'm sure this wasn't what you imagined but I hope you liked it all the same. Thanks for all the support guys! Thanks @limseoyeon
  • ~Armygirl
Jon Snow’s Top 10 Lies

1. He lied so he wouldn’t have to hang out with his friends: 

“My lord, will you sup with us? Owen, shove over and make room for Jon.”
Jon wanted nothing more. No, he had to tell himself, those days are gone. The realization twisted in his belly like a knife. They had chosen him to rule. The Wall was his, and their lives were his as well. A lord may love the men that he commands, he could hear his lord father saying, but he cannot be a friend to them. One day he may need to sit in judgment on them, or send them forth to die. “Another day,” the lord commander lied. “Edd, best see to your own supper. I have work to finish.”

2. He lied to his best friend about why his girlfriend was crying:

“I will.” Sam sounded relieved. “My lord, if I might ask … I saw Gilly leaving. She was almost crying.”
“Val sent her to plead for Mance again,” Jon lied, and they talked for a while of Mance and Stannis and Melisandre of Asshai, until the raven ate the last corn kernel and screamed, “Blood.”
“I am sending Gilly away,” Jon said. “Her and the boy. We will need to find another wet nurse for his milk brother.”

3. He lied to the wildlings about the defenses at the Wall:

After each day’s march the Magnar summoned him to ask shrewd sharp questions about Castle Black, its garrison and defenses. Jon lied where he dared and feigned ignorance a few times, but Grigg the Goat and Errok listened as well, and they knew enough to make Jon careful. Too blatant a lie would betray him. But the truth was terrible. Castle Black had no defenses, but for the Wall itself.

4. He lied to Mance about his loyalties and lied about belonging to Ygritte:

“Ygritte stepped in front of Jon. “You can’t kill a man for lying to protect them as was his brothers.”
“They are still his brothers,” declared Styr.
“They’re not,” insisted Ygritte. “He never killed me, like they told him. And he slew the Halfhand, we all saw.”
Jon’s breath misted the air. If I lie to him, he’ll know. He looked Mance Rayder in the eyes, opened and closed his burned hand. “I wear the cloak you gave me, Your Grace.”
“A sheepskin cloak!” said Ygritte. “And there’s many a night we dance beneath it, too!”
Jarl laughed, and even Harma Dogshead smirked. “Is that the way of it, Jon Snow?” asked Mance Rayder, mildly. “Her and you?”
It was easy to lose your way beyond the Wall. Jon did not know that he could tell honor from shame anymore, or right from wrong. Father forgive me. “Yes,” he said.

5. He lied to Mance about how many men were at the Fist:

“The question is, how many?”
Jon’s face was throbbing, the snow kept coming down, and it was hard to think. You must not balk, whatever is asked of you, Qhorin had told him. The words stuck in his throat, but he made himself say, “There were three hundred of us.”
“Us?” Mance said sharply.
“Them. Three hundred of them.” Whatever is asked, the Halfhand said. So why do I feel so craven? “Two hundred from Castle Black, and one hundred from the Shadow Tower.”
“There’s a truer song than the one you sang in my tent.” Mance looked to Harma Dogshead. “How many horses have we found?”
“More’n a hundred,” that huge woman replied, “less than two. There’s more dead to the east, under the snow, hard t’ know how many.” Behind her stood her banner bearer, holding a pole with a dog’s head on it, fresh enough to still be leaking blood.
“You should never have lied to me, Jon Snow,” said Mance.
“I … I know that.” What could he say?”

6. He lied about his reasons to avoid fucking Ygritte:

“Do you mislike the girl?” Tormund asked him as they passed another twenty mammoths, these bearing wildlings in tall wooden towers instead of giants.
“No, but I … ” What can I say that he will believe? “I am still too young to wed.”

7. He lied by sin of omission to Ygritte:

“When Mance hears how you did for Halfhand, he’ll take you quick enough,” she told him.
“Take me for what?”
The girl laughed scornfully. “For one o’ us. D’ya think you’re the first crow ever flew down off the Wall? In your hearts you all want to fly free.”
“And when I’m free,” he said slowly, “will I be free to go?”
“Sure you will.” She had a warm smile, despite her crooked teeth. “And we’ll be free to kill you. It’s dangerous being free, but most come to like the taste o’ it.” She put her gloved hand on his leg, just above the knee. “You’ll see.”
I will, thought Jon. I will see, and hear, and learn, and when I have I will carry the word back to the Wall. The wildlings had taken him for an oathbreaker, but in his heart he was still a man of the Night’s Watch.

8. He lied to his girlfriend and pretended to be hers forever and ever:

You’re mine,” she whispered. “Mine, as I’m yours. And if we die, we die. All men must die, Jon Snow. But first we’ll live.”
“Yes.” His voice was thick. “First we’ll live.”

She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

9. He didn’t tell his friends that they would all probably be dead soon:

Every day he spent among the wildlings made what he had to do that much harder. He was going to have to find some way to betray these men, and when he did they would die. He did not want their friendship, any more than he wanted Ygritte’s love…The worst of the lot was Del, a horsefaced youth near Jon’s own age, who would talk dreamily of this wildling girl he meant to steal. “She’s lucky, like your Ygritte. She’s kissed by fire.” Jon had to bite his tongue. He didn’t want to know about Del’s girl or Bodger’s mother, the place by the sea that Henk the Helm came from, how Grigg yearned to visit the green men on the Isle of Faces, or the time a moose had chased Toefinger up a tree. 

10. He lied to his best friend, for the second time, about the fucked up shit he did to his girlfriend:

“She nursed them both and loved them both,” said Aemon, “but not alike. No mother loves all her children the same, not even the Mother Above. Gilly did not leave the child willingly, I am certain. What threats the Lord Commander made, what promises, I can only guess … but threats and promises there surely were.”
No. No, that’s wrong. Jon would never …”
“Jon would never. Lord Snow did.
Sometimes there is no happy choice, Sam, only one less grievous than the others.”

If (Modern) Jamie and Claire could text: Target Tampon Run Edition (for @anoutlandishidea)
  • Jamie: have a question
  • Claire: have an answer
  • Claire: probably
  • Jamie: ye always do
  • Jamie: what are yr thoughts on menstrual cups?
  • Claire: P(T*&T(^R*&#TRP*&#TGPR:IWEHFVFOC*&I
  • Claire: _DYING_
  • Jamie: it's a simple question ssnch
  • Jamie: for or against?
  • Jamie: waiting...
  • Claire: sry
  • Claire: i'm laugh n so hard cant tpe
  • Jamie : i have full faith in ye
  • Claire: okay okay
  • Claire: um...well...
  • Claire: What is...'never used one but they seem practical enough?'
  • Claire: I guess?
  • Jamie: good, i agree, thanks MND,
  • Jamie: see ye in a bit
  • Jamie: huh? i AM going to be home shortly
  • Claire: oh, come ON
  • Claire: you can't just drop a menstrual bomb and then saunter off without another word!
  • Jamie: I'm in the Target, lots to buy
  • Jamie: well ye start your courses tomorrow, aye?
  • CLaire: (I shouldn't be surprised but damn me, it gets me every time)
  • Jamie: aye
  • Jamie: 10:47 am. Be ready
  • Claire: JHRCCCCC, like a weatherman
  • Jamie: but anyhow, we'll be leaving for Auntie Jocasta's camper Gathering-stravanza in the morning
  • Jamie: and as it'll be Monday before we return
  • Jamie: it seemed wise to stock up
  • Claire: you are absurd
  • Claire: and a very useful man to have around
  • Claire: thank you, darling
  • Claire: ...but wait, what's the cup business?
  • Jamie: WELL, YE SEE
  • Claire: oh lord
  • Jamie: since Brianna AND Lizzie AND Marsali have all been in the house these last few days
  • Jamie: i'm expecting somewhat of a collective epidemic
  • Jamie: so, I thought it best to be prepared for an outbreak, since we'll be out in the mountains
  • Claire: supremely practical
  • Jamie: but tampons are j(*(&^(*^%(&^$(&(*_)*ing expensive
  • Jamie: and buying enough for four grown women was just more than i could bear
  • Jamie: and so the wee cup seemed an ingenious solution.
  • Jamie: so i've got four in the cart
  • Jamie: all set
  • Jamie: ?
  • Jamie: Why?
  • Jamie: makes sense, aye?
  • Claire: wel
  • Claire: YES
  • Jamie: so....?
  • Claire: I will pay GOOD MONEY
  • Claire: for the pleasure of watching you explaining to YOUR DAUGHTERS why EXACTLY you were thinking about their menstrual health economies
  • Claire: I will pay DOUBLE to see you actually explain the FUNCTION
  • Claire: poor lizzie probably would FAINT from shock
  • Jamie: they're smart lasses, they dinna need an explanation. I"ll just leave them out for them
  • Claire: [o4htnpqeubrg[q9834htbpqieybgriaeurj
  • Jamie: ye're laughing now
  • Jamie: but i'll be keeping a ledger of the savings over time
  • Claire: No no no non orijgnpqeirg
  • Jamie: and we'll just see, wont we?
  • Claire: JAMIE
  • Jamie: oh,wait...
  • Jamie: son of a BANNOCK
  • Claire: what?
  • Jamie: I canna get these
  • Claire: WHAT??
  • Claire: NO!! YOU CAn'T BACK OUT NOW!!!
  • Claire: (honestly dying over here)(screenshotting this to everyone i know)
  • Jamie: because I've just looked at the product name and it's called
  • Jamie: ughjjih it just makes me want to gag
  • Claire: what?
  • Claire: Pussy Pot?
  • Claire: Blood Bucket?
  • Jamie: dinna be crass
  • Claire: oh, so you're grossed out because it uses anatomical terms??
  • Claire: Jamie, 'VAGINA' is a perfectly natural
  • Jamie: HUSH
  • Jamie: I'm fashed because it's called a
  • Jamie: 'Diva Cup'
  • Claire: ....so?
  • Jamie: SO??
  • Jamie: that's the most patronizing garbage of a name i've ever heard!
  • Jamie: why does a practical contraption for managing a woman's courses need to be loaded wi' the implication of being SASSY and OVERBEARING and such?
  • Jamie: it's most often used in a sexist, disparaging context to criticize strong women
  • Jamie: and so to put it on a useful product such as this is just
  • Jamie: eirjngpqirbg
  • Jamie: it's revolting
  • Claire: I ....
  • Claire: have never loved you more than I do right now.
  • Claire: How about we order a generic brand on Amazon?
  • Jamie: they have other brands?
  • Claire: yep!
  • Claire: whole selection of NONPATRONIZING VAGINA VASES
  • Jamie: see, I kent you were a practical woman, too, ssnch
  • Jamie: I'll start the spreadsheet when i get home
  • Claire: i don't doubt you will
“Vulture”, Kisses Drabbles #4

As requested by awesome @jenahid , with the prompt:

Do you remember that one afternoon in crazy excess
I saw you jealous imagining offenses,
I held you in my arms… a kiss vibrated,
and what did you see after…? Blood on my lips.
I taught you to kiss: the cold kisses
of impassible heart of rock,
I taught you to kiss with my kisses
invented by me, for your lips.

I couldn’t do this prompt justice with a drabble, so you get a 1700+ word fic instead :)

Hermione liked to think she wasn’t the jealous type, but it was times like these that reminded her she wasn’t above such base feelings. More than that, times like this reminded her that love and insecurity couldn’t be swayed away by logic alone.

Damn the Auror Department. Damn the officers that thought an inter-departmental luncheon would further unify the ministry. Damn that beautiful brunette that looked at Ron with scarlet-laden eyes and, above all, damn the ginger man she loved that wasn’t doing enough to keep her at bay.

The first time Hermione had seen those greedy eyes set on Ron she hadn’t thought much about it. Ron had grown up to be a handsome man and, objectively, she could understand any woman who stared at him a tad too long. But soon she had realised that the woman was often around them, circling them like a vulture. Ron appeared blissfully unaware. Hermione, on the other hand…

Hermione had gotten more and more hyperalert, keeping tabs on her and her advances. At one point, she had casually waved at them, and the way he raised his eyebrows in recognition, smiled, and waved back told her they knew each other. All in all, she had managed to find Ron by himself three times in as many hours. When Ron had offered to go get drinks for them, Hermione knew there would be a fourth time.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How about some h/c for Itachi, Deidara, Madara and Kakashi and how they would react to their bored s/o just dropping the sappiest/shittiest pick-up lines on them? Also it might be a bit late, but I think it's fine to be gender-specific with certain things (like nsfw or pregnancy). Otherwise it really is difficult to write. I think specifying gender in such cases shouldn't be a problem. First and most important it's your blog and you should have fun with it and your writing!!


  • “Is your name Google? Because you’re the answer everything I’m searching for.” 
  • He stares at his s/o and blinks a few times. 
  • “Y/N, that was the worse line ever, you should know it takes more than that to seduce me.” 
  • Itachi does crack a smile after speaking though, shaking his head. 


  • “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.” 
  • He doesn’t really pay attention to it tbh he’s a little distracted with his art.
  • “Oh, yeah? Well I could be from Tennessee.”  
  • He is no help to relieve your boredom, ever 


  • “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all of my prayers.” 
  • It doesn’t work on him at all, he thinks he is God’s gift to the world smh,
  • “I would hope so, I am a gift Y/N” He is so smug 
  • No pick up lines work on him so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


  • “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.” 
  • Kakashi laughs so hard oh my god. Shitty lines work on him though.
  • “You’re so cute Y/N, and that was a good one, I should of used it on you when we met.” 
  • He kisses you as a reward for making him laugh.
Random HC #19 (Continuation of #4 - #18)


The ship has stopped.
At first, Robbie didn’t notice, because he’s still busy crying and screaming in terror and agony. But when he takes another, weak, stuttering breath in, he notices, that it’s not moving anymore. Maybe there’s just no more wind to toss the airship around like a ball, the kids use to kick around all day? He forces himself to focus on the movements that don’t come from his own trembling body. No, it’s definitely not moving anymore. So… Did it land? And if, where? …Should he strain himself to get up and check? Probably… But does it really matter? Isn’t he dying, anyway? He feels like he is… With another whimper, he cracks his eyes open. It’s still dark… Or rather dark again? For how long has he been lying here on the floor, anyway? Hours? Days? …He really can’t tell… And he can neither tell whether he needs seconds or minutes to gather enough strength to roll onto his back with a loud whine.
Step one.
He takes a shallow breath in and pushes himself to sit up.
Step two.
At once, he feels sick and dizzy again and his arms, that keep him upright are shaking violently. His mouth opens on its own account, but nothing comes out. Another tear runs down his cheek. He knows it’s useless to call for Sportacus. He isn’t here. He won’t come to his rescue. Not this time. Not ever again…
Then he startles at a strange noise, coming from the door. His heart sinks and beats faster with the slightest spark of hope at the same time. Maybe…Sportacus just wanted to scare him, to teach him a lesson and therefore sent the ship off for a little while, before it returned on its own again? And now, he’s…
The door opens. “LIGHTS!”
Robbie feels his heart skip a beat and squeezes his eyes shut with a painful yelp at the sudden, stinging brightness, invading them now. That’s not Sportacus’ voice! He’s sick and dizzy, beyond limits, but he would recognize the hero’s voice in every condition, as long as his mind is functioning more or less normal. That voice now was far too rough and hard and mean and…cold… “There he is! Get him to the judge, at once! The elders want his case closed tonight!” Strong arms grab Robbie’s and pull him on his legs, even before the villain gets the meaning of these words. He cries out in pain at the sudden movement and forces his eyes open. His vision is blurry for a few seconds, but then he recognizes a face of an old man… No… Not just any face… A painful sharp sting rushes through his chest when realization hits him and he gasps out “…Nine…”
“Hello, Robbie. Didn’t expect to meet me again, did you?!” the gleeful sneer on Nine’s lips is still the same, Robbie knew and feared as a kid. “…W-Why…”
“We send somebody to get you. You’re too dangerous for your town to let us allow you to stay there any longer. Ten took longer than we expected him to, but in the end, he obviously caught and sent you here. Now you’re going to be punished. After our judge has seen you, of course. But that’s only a matter of…”
“NO!” Robbie feels the pain in his stomach and chest becoming worse again, but he instinctively tries to struggle against the strong grips of the two guards restraining him “No! Sportacus didn’t send me here! He assured me he never would! He stayed in LazyTown because he knew he couldn’t return without me! You’re lying!!”
“He eventually realized his mistake. That’s why you’re here now,” Nine laughs out “Did you ACTUALLY believe that he CARED?! That ANYBODY cares about someone like YOU?! You’re nothing but a failure and a villain! A bad one, even! No one in LazyTown will miss you! Take him away.”
“…No…” Robbie feels his strength fading completely now and once the guards loosen their grip on him the tiniest bit, he drops down on his knees and buries his face in his hands, sobbing lowly “No… Sportacus wouldn’t do that! He just… He wouldn’t! You’re lying! He…” when he feels his cold hands touching his hot cheeks, he suddenly remembers the way, Sportacus held his hand. “…He…wanted me to…become healthy again… He…held my hand and tried to soothe me. He… He CARES!” he swallows hard and raises his eyes again, trying to steady his breathing while giving Nine the most determined stare, he manages despite his pain and fear “…And he did NOT send me here! He PROMISED me to not leave me alone! I don’t know what happened and why I’m here, but…”
“He doesn’t care about you!”
“Yes, he DOES! This isn’t… This isn’t REAL!” he clenches his hands into fists and closes his eyes, trying to focus on what he knows CERTAINLY is real and what he remembers BEFORE he woke up here all alone. He was changing clothes… Sportacus wanted him to wear something more comfortable… One of his…pajamas… And he…had already changed his pants when he suddenly…felt incredibly sick and then…nothing… “…I…know what’s going on…” he breathes in “…It’s only a dream…”
“Robbie Rotten. You will be sentenced, no matter what! Take him away!”
Robbie feels the hands on his arms again and cries out at the touch, but he whimpers lowly to remind himself “It’s a nightmare! I’m just dreaming! No one is going to hurt me! I-I’m with Sportacus! He MUST be here! Please! Please…”
The two hands on his arms move to wrap around his chest from behind now. Gently. Robbie feels as if the last bit of strength is drained from him, his eyes fall shut and he knows that he would fall forward if it wasn’t for these gentle, warm hands…
They’re carefully massaging his abdomen and chest now - skin on skin. He’s just wearing pyjamas…
And there’s a voice.
A warm, gentle, soothing but clearly afraid voice “…Robbie… Please… Wake up…”
He slowly opens his eyes. He’s still in the airship. But not on the ground anymore. A low whimper escapes him when he takes a labored breath in “…Sportacus…”
“I’m here, Robbie. Please, I don’t know whether you can hear me, but..”
“Sportacus,” it takes a lot of energy, he isn’t even sure he has, but he moves his head a little to be able to look up and into these blue, exhausted, incredibly worried but now also confused and even slightly relieved eyes “…Sportacus… You…didn’t leave me…alone in here… Did you?…”
“Robbie! You’re back!” the hero turns pale as ash for a moment, but then he appears to start crying and laughing at the same time and he tightens his hug around the villain, nuzzling his face against Robbie’s cheek, almost sobbing “No! I didn’t! And I never would! Oh, Robbie! You… What happened? What… You’ve been hallucinating for four hours! I thought…” he breaks up into another sob.
Robbie nods weakly “…Yeah… Me too…” he feels Sportacus’ hands that are holding on to his own, tightly but carefully and squeezes them probably barely noticeably. But Sportacus does notice. And he returns the squeeze, whispering once more “…I didn’t leave you…”
“…I know… You…care…” the villain manages a weak smile, knowing that the hero is going to sense this, since he’s still pressing their cheeks together “…And that knowledge…is what just kept me alive, I guess…” he thinks he’s too weakened to blush meanwhile, and his face still is heated up with fever, anyway, so he can as well be honest now “…Sportacus… I was so scared. I… I thought you left me in the airship and sent it off to your people and…everything hurt… But when Nine came to take me to their judge, he told me that you…don’t care about me and then I…realized that this wasn’t real and…managed to wake up again…” Robbie is crying again now at the memory of this. But he’s not entirely sure whether it’s not a little bit out of relief, as well. A few seconds pass. Sportacus doesn’t say anything, he just gently rubs small circles in the back of Robbie’s hands. “…I shouldn’t have told you any of that… I knew that it would scare you… But I…” the hero swallows hard “…I wouldn’t have thought that it would cause you to have such horrible hallucinations… I’m so sorry, Robbie! That’s all my fault! I…”
“No. It is not,” Robbie turns his face away, so he loses the contact with the hero’s cheek and more tears stream down his face “It’s my fault. I… I’m a mess!”
“What?! No! Robbie…”
“Yes, I AM! And you know it! You care for me, yes. You pity me, because I can’t get anything right! I even nearly die because of stupid hallucinations, caused by stupid fever, caused by my stupid inability to take care of myself!” he withdraws his hands and brings them up to cover his face, wishing for nothing more than to disappear and not bother the hero anymore, but can’t possibly strain himself with any other movements than this one, he sobs breathlessly “…Just take me home and leave me be! Nine was right, I am no good! You do care about me, but this is WRONG! You shouldn’t… And I shouldn’t let you… I deserve…”
“Robbie!” interrupts Sportacus suddenly firmly, one hand gently covering the villain’s mouth now and he takes a deep breath, before he continues softly “…Please, listen closely now… Nine was NOT right. You are not ‘bad’! And you DON’t deserve whatever my people would do to you! And…” his hand moves from Robbie’s mouth to his forehead and he gently brushes some sweaty hair out of his face, before feeling the hot skin once more “…you’re SICK. You need rest. You need care. You need…” hesitatingly, the hero leans closer again and places a very soft, very short kiss on Robbie’s temple “…love.” Robbie winces at the kiss, but tries to wrap his mind around the strange new feeling, at once. Sportacus gives him time to progress this, gently starting to run his hands over the other’s arms again, trying to soothe him. Suddenly, but not entirely unexpected, Robbie bursts out into new tears and violent sobs, chest spasming with the effort to take in enough air, and he tries to double over again. But Sportacus doesn’t let him. Instead, he gently guides his body, until the villain is lying on his side now, his upper body completely rested on the hero’s chest. “…Shush… It’s okay, Robbie. Everything will be all right again, soon, I promise! Just breathe. In and out. Nobody will be able to hurt you again. In no way. I’m here. I will protect you. Even from yourself, if necessary… You are no mess, Robbie. You are wonderful, just the way you are. And I will prove it to you, if you just let me… Please… Don’t give up now…” The villain doesn’t think, he just buries his face against Sportacus strong, muscular, but yet soft neck and whimpers lowly “…Is this real now?…”
“Yes,” the hero gently caresses his head and cheek with one hand and his back with the other, murmuring lowly and encouragingly, but with a thick lump in his throat “Yes, it is…”

fieryangelsintheatmosphere  asked:

Imagine for yourself, Sasuke forcing the warlords to have a sleepover while the MC is away. There, they recommence the Blusher games... Also, Remember to take care of yourself! You're wonderful and amazing and I'd be sad and worried if you got sick. ~😇 Bonus: "Sasuke, I leave for a week and THIS is what I come back to? Aren't you the astrophysicist? I shouldn't have to babysit you!" Bonus 2: The other warlords keep doing the Blusher games and at the start of a new year they restart counting.

Oh my God, Angie, this is amazing XD I love your brain so much for coming up with these things! 😇

I’m not going to make a proper mini-imagine out of this since I’ve got a ton of other stuff to do right now, but holy God, this would be so funny. Thank you so much for sending this in, you beautiful human <3

I can imagine the MC being so pissed because she just wanted to come back to peace and normality, but instead, she returns to this…

  • Yukimura and Ieyasu are being pretty much chased and harassed everywhere they go in Azuchi Castle.
  • Shingen and Mitsuhide have got their pervy faces on with the opposite force’s warlord.
  • Nobunaga and Kenshin are probably trying to kill each other.
  • Sasuke is fighting Hideyoshi because he’s going to slaughter Kenshin.
  • Mitsunari is trying and failing to keep things peaceful.
  • Kennyo’s lurking and waiting for the opportunity to kill Nobunaga.
  • Masamune is dying because he’s laughing so hard and the look of sheer terror on Yukimura and Ieyasu’s faces.
  • Meanwhile, MC watches on with increasing irritation, until she just loses her shit and basically:
  • She stalks over to Nobunaga and Kenshin, absolutely ruthless and fearless, uncaring of the swords being flung around as the two attempt to slit each other’s throats.
  • She just goes over, roaring, “Oi! Stop fucking fighting right now, both of you! Swing once more and I’m going to take those swords and lop off something you’ll miss dearly!”
  • They both stop…
  • … shooketh.
  • And then she grabs Nobunaga by the ear, yanking him to the side of the room and then all but throwing him down, snapping, “Sit. Do not dare move.”
  • Kenshin’s smirking and basically sparkling bc oft his bae’s dominating his enemy-
  • Oh, wait.
  • She grabs his ear and drags him to the other side of the room, doing the same and glowering at him. “Sit. Stay. Move and I’ll kill you.”
  • She then proceeds to literally chop Hideyoshi and Sasuke in the throats, shoving them to the floor by their respective lords.
  • She grabs Masamune by the back of his collar while he’s choking on laughter, launching him at Hideyoshi and causing him to end up laid across his lap like a child about to be scolded.
  • She just looks at Mitsunari. He smiles nervously, sitting down in a second next to Hideyoshi.
  • She turns to Kennyo in the corner, growling, “You shouldn’t even be here, but for fuck’s sake, just sit next to Sasuke and be quiet. Start anything, and I’m taking that spear of yours and shoving it up your arse. I’ll take Mike, as well.”
  • He’s never taken an order so willingly in his life.
  • She stalks into the corridor, hearing the sound of pounding footsteps through the castle. She groans.
  • They’re sprinting through the castle to her so fast they’re blurs.
  • Ieyasu and Yukimura barrel toward her, the other two pursuing, and they bolt over to her. She nudges them into the room, waiting out in the hallway as Shingen and Mitsuhide bolt toward her.
  • They get close. Then shit happens.
  • Shingen reaches her first.
  • Her leg whips around, shin colliding with his crotch. He collapses to the floor with a howl of agony, doubled over.
  • Mitsuhide slows, hesitating, but he’s not fast enough.
  • She swings her leg around again, and he’s able to dance back and dodge it.
  • But then her foot shoots out once more, kicking him flat in the dick.
  • He’s down. He’s also very, very slightly turned on, but that’s beside the point.
  • She’s livid.
  • There’s a hysterical cackle from the railing. Motonari is chilling there for some reason, howling at everything going on.
  • She sends him a withering look, pointing to the Uesugi-Takeda Forces. “Sit the fuck down before I push you off that railing and break your neck.”
  • He slides on over and chills next to Kennyo, downing some rum from the bottle in his hands.
  • The MC gets Hideyoshi and Yukimura to drag Mitsuhide and Shingen over to their sides, then slams the door shut, crossing her arms and turning to them all.
  • “What in the name of holy fuck do all of you think you’re doing, in my goddamn castle?! Sasuke, I leave for a week and THIS is what I come back to? Aren’t you the astrophysicist? I shouldn’t have to babysit you!”
  • Cue twelve warlords trying to apologise/explain/complain/cry their way out of a scolding.
  • They’re all punished thoroughly, put it that way, meaning:
    • Hideyoshi isn’t allowed to help Nobunaga for a week.
    • Ieyasu isn’t allowed to have spice for a week.
    • Kennyo isn’t allowed to go near animals for a week.
    • Kenshin isn’t allowed to kill or fight anyone for a week.
    • Masamune isn’t allowed to cook for a week.
    • Mitsuhide isn’t allowed to torture for a week.
    • Mitsunari isn’t allowed to read for a week.
    • Motonari isn’t allowed to drink alcohol for a week.
    • Nobunaga isn’t allowed to play Go for a week.
    • Sasuke isn’t allowed to do anything wormhole or ninja-related for a week.
    • Shingen isn’t allowed to speak to any women for a week.
    • Yukimura isn’t allowed to go on walks with Masamura for a week.
A's Graduation III
  • So we went outside and she gave me a little box but she told me to open it later, I told her she should open her present later too. We talked a lot so this is a resume and what I remember and think it's relevant.
  • A: Alright, you are just trying to play mysterious but I already know it's a book
  • Me: *laughs*
  • A: But yeah, I wanted to talk to you before I gave you that because I need to clarify some things and not make it weird which is very hard
  • Me: Don't worry Alien, it would be very hard to make it weirder
  • A: Yeah, I just wanted to let you know you are really important to me. Not just a important teacher
  • Me: You are important to me too, I see you more as a friend than a former student
  • A: I just *long pause* we should keep in touch
  • Me: *laughs* of course alien, you are not getting rid of me that easily
  • A: *smiles* yeah, I don't want to be creepy but I kinda wonder if you weren't my teacher we could have gotten along even better
  • Me: *laughs* perhaps but we do get along pretty great
  • A: I guess, but *shrugs*
  • Me: Alien, don't worry about what could have been. We are friends and we still have a ton of time to keep getting to know eachother you know?
  • A: *smiles* thanks, for everything. Now I am just thinking of saying stupid shit and I shouldn't
  • Me: We should get back inside
  • A: I mean we had some tequila before getting here and I am feeling it now
  • Me: Oh, yeah you probably shouldn't have. How bad do you think you are?
  • A: Just dizzy, I am fully aware of what I am saying but I also feel a lot braver than I should
  • Me: Let's get you some water
  • A: But I also might not get another chance
  • Me: Is everyone else okay?
  • A: Yeah, it's just me. I got too excited and D kept telling me I should tell you and I kept drinking
  • Me: Yeah, I bet. We should get you inside, who is coming for you?
  • A: my sister, she knows I was going to drink
  • Me: Good, let's go
  • A: Thank you
  • Me: You are welcome, I really care for you and you are also very important for me
  • A: I mean thank you for pretending you don't know what I mean
  • Me: *smiles* Anytime, let's go eat some cake
  • A: *smiles* I am dying to eat some cake
  • And then we went inside and had a great time and then she left
fibro!tsuna and coping of pain
  • tsuna: i have.. fibro,,
  • tsuna: basically Pain
  • therapist: i'm very sorry to hear that.
  • therapist: let's try meditation. it will help you block out the sensation of pain.
  • tsuna: will it let me blacklist my entire body
  • ...
  • hand: *blocked*
  • foot: *blocked*
  • 3 sq in piece of skin on right thigh: *blocked*
  • tsuna: you're all blocked
  • tsuna: none of you are free from sin.
  • tsuna: or pain.
  • reborn: too bad real life doesn't work that way
  • tsuna: you're blocked too.
  • ...
  • tsuna: *leg starts spasming*
  • tsuna: excuse me teacher my leg is dying i need to take a walk
  • teacher: ..shouldn't you usually rest if your leg is, um. dying?
  • tsuna, already packing up: look buddy i don't know what kind of Normal World you live in but in My world when My limbs start dying i Take A Walk
  • tsuna: bye
  • gokudera: *leaves with him. makes 'i'm watching you' gesture at teacher.*
  • yamamoto: *haha water triiiibe*
  • teacher:
  • teacher: they're not coming back are they
  • teacher: it's barely noon,,
  • ...
  • tsuna: let's play a game!
  • tsuna: it's called 'guess my pain levels'
  • tsuna: pick any number from 1-100
  • gokudera: juudaime that's kind of a, uh.. dark game to play
  • tsuna: nonsense, it distracts me from eternal death
  • yamamoto: i love guessing games!
  • yamamoto: 87
  • tsuna:
  • tsuna:
  • tsuna:
  • gokudera: you sonnuva- I DIDN'T GET A TURN I WAS GONNA GUESS THAT
  • yamamoto: haha! luckyyyyy
  • yamamoto: what do those numbers stand for anyway?
  • tsuna: how many specific points of my body are currently vying for my attention by telling me they're each undergoing the slowest most painful form of necrosis ever known to mankind
  • gokudera: oxidation?
  • tsuna: oxi-wha--
  • tsuna: i hate you all
  • ...
  • tsuna: okay but tell me
  • tsuna: how exactly does that possession thing work
  • mukuro: why are you.. asking...
  • lancia: don't remember much of it. i think it makes you black out the entire time.
  • tsuna: sounds convenient
  • tusna: i have Chronic Pain And Fatigue though.
  • lancia: ..he won't feel it? probably.
  • tsuna: alright. here's the thing.
  • tsuna: my attendance is horrible
  • tsuna: mukuro i need you to go to school for me for a few days
  • tsuna: also please adhere to this very strict sleep schedule or i s2g if you overwork my body i will find a way to transfer all the accumulated pain onto your body
  • mukuro: do i get a choice in this?
  • tsuna: are you throwing away your Get Out Of Jail Free For A Few Days card?
  • mukuro: you drive a hard bargain, vongola
  • lancia: i can't believe it
  • lancia: you've given him conflicting emotions
  • lancia: truly you are a miracle worker, sawada tsunayoshi
  • tsuna: the only miracle i wanna work is on me
  • ...
  • mukuro, in tsuna's body: kufufufu...
  • tsuna, in their mind: Stop Laughing
  • mukuro: what
  • mukuro: you're supposed to be asleep!
  • mukuro: my possession should be suppressing your conscious mind!
  • tsuna: if i can wake up from feeling like i've taken a hammer to the better part of my sternum, i can wake up from you being a creepy dick in my body
  • tsuna: Cease And Desist
  • ...
  • mukuro, in tsuna's body: yamamoto-kun, how does my hair look?
  • yamamoto: *squints for a heckuva long time*
  • yamamoto: ..looks the same to me, haha. did you do something new to it?
  • mukuro: just a small addition.. is it not noticeable? i thought it was quite clever.
  • yamamoto: ???
  • mukuro: *tries to indicate the pineapple tuft hidden among tsuna's already tufty hair*
  • yamamoto: i don't see anything??
  • mukuro:
  • mukuro: what a waste of effort.
  • ...
  • mukuro, in his own mind: get out
  • tsuna, in mukuro's body: no
  • tsuna: it's cold and wet and i am restful
  • tsuna: i have slept so much. not a single headache.
  • tsuna: kinda hard to breathe but i'm not too surprised by that
  • mukuro: the week is over and so is our deal
  • mukuro: i pranced around in your body, freaked some people out, made gokudera question his sanity
  • mukuro: your bully may have a crush on my laugh
  • tsuna: ?? which one
  • mukuro: the loud one with the sword
  • tsuna: that's a little disturbing. i'll try not to laugh like you then.
  • mukuro: ...so
  • tsuna: *whining* five more minuuutteesss
  • ...
  • tsuna: aaannnnddd now we're back to pain. pain, pain, pain. 24/7 pain. i didn't miss you. i mean, i kinda did. it's really numb without you. felt weird.
  • tsuna: kinda like i wasn't really there
  • reborn:
  • tsuna: well, it was good while it lasted
  • reborn: maybe warn me next time before i shoot mukuro dead and you with him
  • tsuna: wow that's a little drastic just because i let a known criminal who tried to kill me walk around in my body for a week.
  • reborn: your self-preservation instincts can be really ludicrously terrible sometimes you know
  • tsuna: look me in the eyes and tell me you've never wanted to be free of your own body before
  • reborn:
  • reborn: shut up and go back to sleep
His Hair: Part 2

Agh, thank you guys so much for the kind words. I’ve been smiling idiotically at my screen all evening and then I hurried to write this part for you (and because I love writing Lin too much, lol send help).
You two really helped when you shared this little story, so thank you c:

The second time you noticed, the two of you were…well was freaking out over lyrics in your apartment considered “hanging out?”


You nearly jumped at the dramatic groan from Lin, and turned just in time to see him flopping his head to the back of the couch with hands over his face. His ever-present laptop was settled on his lap and you could glimpse writing scrawled across the screen. You grimaced sympathetically. “You all right?”

A muffled “mmph” was all you received and he didn’t budge.

From your place next to your coffeemaker, you pulled a soft smile and went back to stirring cream into your mug. You loved your coffeemaker, honestly. You probably wouldn’t have survived the late dance practices without it. Not to mention that it was now coming in handy because Lin-Manuel Miranda (dear god) was in your apartment with a serious need of caffeine.

“Being a genius is hard,” Lin complained, with enough sarcasm to let you know he was kidding.

You snorted and rolled your eyes, even though he couldn’t see you from the couch. “Hey, genius,” you called, “want coffee or what?”

“Please?” he asked, twisting on the couch to send you an imploring smile. His eyes went all soft when he smiled and a strand of hair had drifted down into his face.

Okay, THAT was doing dangerous things to your heart rate, so you’d better stop looking at him. “Coming, Your Highness,” you teased. Scooping up the two mugs, you made your way around the couch to him.

“‘Your Highness?’” he echoed with a raised brow, as he accepted the mug from you. “I’m hardly acting that obnoxious, am I?”

You sent him a flat look and he glared back at you. “Right, (Y/N) thinks I’m obnoxious,” he remarked with a rough sigh. “This day actually got worse.”

“Hey!” you protested, sitting down next to him and batting him on the shoulder. “You can’t be mad at me, I made you coffee.”

Huffing out half a laugh, he took a long sip of said coffee. “I can’t be mad at you, can I? Damn.” He shook his head and leaned forward to set the mug on the coffee table in front of the couch. Then he fell back against the cushions again, letting out a long breath. His gaze landed on his laptop screen again.

Sobering a little, you brought your mug up to your lips. “Still having trouble?”

“Yeah. I just…want it to turn out right, you know?”

“I get it.” You fell silent, watching him think, fingers tapping out some rhythm on his knee. Bending forward, you placed your mug next to his and laced your fingers together on your crossed legs. “You know it’s already amazing, right?” you asked, suddenly feeling a burst of your shyness. It always seemed to surface around him at some point. “I mean…it’s great, probably because you’re great, and um.” He was watching you with this almost-smile playing on his lips and you felt your ears starting to burn. “….yeah.”

You had to look away, because you were sure you were about to start blushing ferociously any minute. But you heard him chuckle, a warm sound vibrating in his chest, and a quiet, “thanks, (Y/N).”

“No problem.” Glancing up again, you fell back into your usual habit of watching him work: eyes lingering on the movement of his fingers over the keyboard and up to the rolled-up sleeves of his hoodie. Then higher, over the arc of his neck and to his hair bundled into a messy bun. It looked like it’d be soft to the touch and your stomach twisted. You were starting to get an unhealthy habit of ogling his hair lately. A strand had fallen free and hung in his face; he was too focused to brush it away.

Without thinking, you reached out and caught it on the edge of your fingers. “Here, you gotta—” You were smoothing it back behind his ear before you realized what exactly you’d just done and then you froze. His eyes were on yours, a flicker of surprised delight in them as your fingers trembled a millimeter from his hair. You swallowed hard, not daring to move. “Oh. Uh. I…” His gaze flitted down to your mouth, then away, almost guilty for having done so in the first place. But that glance was all it took for you to apparently become a whole lot braver.

You darted forward and touched your lips to his.

It was light, and innocent, a quick intake of breath coming from him and a shaky sigh coming from you. It was the first kiss you’d ever had and would become the shortest; you pulled back immediately, face turning every shade of red. “God, crap, I’m sorry,” you babbled. “I shouldn't—”

“Yes, you should,” he mumbled, and he caught your mouth with his again.

You were drowning so fast, you were sure that wasn’t a good sign; you were already in too deep. But Lin had brought his hand up to your cheek now, holding you gently. And he kissed like he sang, deeply and like it was all he ever needed. You closed your eyes and leaned into it, let it deepen. Your hand was moving on its own now, tracing his jawline. Then your fingertips speared into his hair, freed it from its tie, and you didn’t think when you twisted your fingers in it. It was as soft as you’d imagined and the way you combed your fingers through it brought a tiny sound out of Lin’s throat. Your heartbeat leapt, a grin curling your lips, and you swore you wanted to hear that sound every day.

It was you who broke it, mainly because you couldn’t stop smiling. When Lin saw it, he grinned too, that grin like a struck match, and rested his forehead against yours.

“I guess I am a genius if I figured out how to make you fall for me.”
“Oh, shut up.”

Take a bite of my heart tonight

No one asked for this song fic, but it has been on my mind, so here I am, writing it out!  I lack self restrain, I’m sorry But anyway here’s even more Villain!Deku, because why not? Should I do this for other characters too?

Inspired by the song animals (in minor key) by Chase Holfelder, hope you guys enjoy! Just a heads up, it’s under the cut because it might be mildly violent..

dt: @shoutos-fringe just because

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Young Idol [1]


You where in the usual place, with the usual friends, drinking the usual drink  you always drunk. Man high school sucked, you thought, even if it was your last year there you still couldn’t wait to get out of that fucking place and start actually living your life. It’s not the absolute useless assignments that you always had to have ready by Friday that made you hate it so much, god forbid for all you knew these were the best part of your high school life, the fucking annoying thing was the people there. You never really hanged out with people from your high school, you only had friends from unis(universities). They seemed more mature to you and plus their lives were actually interesting unlike from all the people that attended your school.

“What’s up with you today kiddo?” Yura teased you because she saw you thinking to yourself. ‘Kiddo’ is your nickname there, you don’t necessarily like it but you got used to it eventually.

“Its really nothing..” you said drinking the last sip from your drink. ”I should go get another one” you said and went off.

You sat down at a bench a little outside the club you were in wanting to think to yourself some more with no interruptions. You always planned what you were going to do after high school ended. Although  you weren’t an angel or a proper kid you always wanted to attend a very good university - you might not seem like it but you study a lot and you are a smart kid, you always do assignments and get good grades just because you wanted to do something with your life after you graduate- 

Your thoughts stormed off when you saw a male figure sitting down on the bench next to you. ‘Great, just fucking great. Can’t I even get  some privacy around here?’ you thought to yourself. The dude was drunk but you could tell he could get it together - impressing-. He didn’t act drunk it was just this smell of  alcohol showering you even though you weren’t that close to each other. To be honest, he looked a little lost.

“Everything okay?” you said and you saw him jumping a little at your voice. ‘Don’t fucking tell me he’s so drunk that he didn’t even notice me’ you thought

“Sorry, I uhm..” his eyes met yours, and even though there was little light you could still see them sparkling “I’m sorry..I didn’t see you there..” he said moving his head downwards, now looking at the ground. 

‘Fuck his proportions look flawless’ you thought inspecting every inch of his face. But, why does he look so familiar? Could he had come to this club before? I mean, its a fancy club and it attracts some pretty fancy people, but he is not.. just fancy. You couldn’t really describe it but there was something more to him.

“Seeing something you like?” he said and his cockiness caught you of guard. He was a lost puppy just a second ago..

“Not much but, have we met before? You look really familiar..” you said and obviously your question seemed like something he didn’t  get that often.

“You, you don’t know who I am?” damn, he sure is full of himself. He did look genuinely surprised though..

“Ugh I don’t know.. should I?” he seemed intimidated by your answer. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, Wow that’s a first, you almost always can read through people like they are an open book, but he looked like he had sealed the pages.

“No.. no you shouldn't” he gave you a smirk that could kill. ”You know, I’m not usually like this. I mean I don’t get drunk or come to clubs for that say” he paused looking at your  face slowly coming towards your eyes. “ People like you would consider me a ‘bore’ “

 “People like me?” you questioned

“Yes you know, people that have friends and can go out and have fun, drinking talking going outside without any trouble” he said

Without any trouble? Well yes that was part true. Your parents weren’t exactly happy for you going out like this, not knowing your friends. But your good grades made up for it. You weren’t a bad kid nor would you ever be influenced by things people would do, and your parents knew that.. they were just a bit cautious and you couldn’t blame them, they were your parents after all.

“Without any trouble?” you questioned chuckling. “ What exactly could put you into trouble? You look a little too old to be schooled over”

“Its… the job I do. Lets say that it doesn’t allow me to go out.” he said

“Well I see you out right now..how come you can now?”

“I wore this” he pulled a face mask out of his jacket’s pocket “Not a lot of people can recognize me if I have this and a hoodie covering my face..and its not fun to wear them so I just decide to hang indoors, if you could call it like that.”

You started putting the pieces together. He was obviously someone famous, that’s why you felt like you knew him. But did that change how you saw him? Not at all.. you weren’t like that. People were people no matter what.

“So it’s indeed that hard to be famous huh?” you chuckled and he laughed along knowing that you were on to him.

“You have no idea..” he smiled at you. His smile was beautiful, nothing like his smirk before, his smile was kind of dreamy.

“So what are you doing this late in a dark alley outside a club mister Famous?” you asked jokingly

“Well I’m pretty happy because I found what I was looking for” he paused after he saw the expression you made. This wasn’t what you singed up for. You didn’t want to be part of his ‘I’m a famous fuckboy’ game. “For gods sake I didn’t mean it like that” he smiled “ I wanted to find someone apart from my band members to talk to. To not know and for him to not know me, but its kind off hard if you're like me..”

You knew how he felt even thought you weren’t famous. You were willing to hear everything he had to say and let him get things out of his chest. This had nothing to do with the fact that he was famous, that was just you being you.

“Well, I’m all ears” you said

“How can I be sure that you are not a sesang that is going to post everything about this conversation on twitter? Or even worse, a reporter?” you laughed when you heard that. You got up “Fine i’ll just leave then” you joked. He reached for your hand pulling you back down next to him this time a little closer. “ No, please stay..” he said

“Alright. Start quickly thought.. my friends will be worried, if they start searching for me and find me I can not assure you that they will not recognize you”

With that he started telling you everything with some jokes in between to shimmer down the atmosphere. He told you how he was really stressed about their upcoming comeback, about all the new promotions that they would have and how they didn’t got a proper break. He told you how much he missed his parents and how sad he was to not get to spend new years eve with them. He ended with the thing that has had him depressed for a long time now, his grandma. He loved her a lot and he misses her even more. He didn’t go into much detail about that though you couldn’t blame him, he was a stranger to you after all.

“Wow that felt better than I thought” he said and grabbed your palm. “Thank you..really”

He was a great guy, you could tell. His love and respect  for his loved ones effected you.

“But hey I never asked” he smiled at you “ what’s your name?”

“Oh its Y/N, how about you?”

“It’s really, really nice to meet you Y/N” he smiled while getting up bringing you up with him. He gave you a very quick and innocent kiss on the cheek witch felt like heaven. He then went to a black car parked a little farther from where you were standing. He opened the door and looked at you, the light now was enough to see his face a little better. His eyes.. hell those eyes..

“I’m Taehyung, Kim Taehyung”

Beautiful Tomorrow | Hyungwon

Originally posted by kittyminhyuk

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Hyungwon x Reader

Note: I usually write gender and race neutral but as this was specifically requested with the word 누나 I wrote accordingly. Also, you asked for them to fall for each other… I may have taken this a bit literally.


“I don’t know what you want me to do, Hyungwon, you did this to yourself.”

“Noona, come on. Please. Help me.”

“I don’t think you deserve it.”

“I’m seriously stuck, Y/N. You’re being unreasonable.”

“And whose fault is that?”

You watched Hyungwon’s eyes screw shut as he let out a heavy breath. He was holding onto the sides of the bucket you had challenged him to fit into (although he had succeeded in fitting his butt inside the bucket, he couldn’t get it out) and obviously doing his best not to snap at you.

“If you say it’s my fault for daring you to do it then you’re wrong.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be older and more mature than I am?”

“Older, yes. More mature, absolutely not.”

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