i should write a fic about my headcanons but i'd just sit there crying so~

Random Pezberry Thought of the Day #52

In the worlds where Rachel actually was pregnant:

Santana stepped up. She took Rachel to the doctor, getting the best referral from her father, and helped the younger woman organize all the supplements and supplies, clearing out space in the loft and getting Kurt to give up half of his closet space. She held Rachel after phone calls with her fathers, not brave enough to tell them yet, and then held her hand when she did the first time they came up to visit, backing her up when she refused their suggestion of her coming back home with them. She helped talk Rachel through deciding whether or not to inform the other parent, having first already helped her decide if she wanted to take a DNA test, and then held her when Finn died before she had had the chance to tell him. She helped with morning sickness and dragged herself out of bed in the middle of the nights for weird cravings - complaining all the way, but she did it, making use of her acerbic tongue to get things fast and perfect. She helped Rachel during her shifts at the diner, keeping the most rowdy customers away, and covering for her when exhaustion started setting in. She tagged along when Rachel went to NYADA to explain the situation, not allowing Cassandra to bully her already stressed out, terrified friend for ‘letting herself ruin her future’, and held Rachel that night and the next day as well. She helped, sometimes not without losing her patience, or getting fed up, but she always came back, Rachel’s favorite tea in hand and another book for expecting mothers for their overflowing bookcase. She helped shop for beds and strollers and breast pumps, always an inappropriate comment on her tongue, making Rachel crack up and feel just a little bit more prepared and like ‘everything’s gonna be okay’. She talked with Rachel, talked about everything and her experience with her mother’s and cousins’ and sister-in-law’s pregnancies, and how it was going to be hard but Rachel was going to make it, and there’d be a new Broadway lovin’ mini-munchkin runnin’ around before she knew it, around to accompany Rachel to all the red carpet events and award shows she’d still have because this wasn’t going to derail her dreams - just postpone them. She massaged Rachel when she needed it, and even sometimes when she didn’t, always in exchange for some of Rachel’s amazing vegan lemon bread, and was often around for cuddling on the couch or sitting far, far away because Rachel was getting overheated, damp towels pushed into Rachel’s hands before she even opened her mouth to ask for them. Santana was there, like she said she would be, always checking in on the evenings Rachel told her to go out and have fun - have “Santana time”, and face timed when she had to go home to Lima for a week, coming back with the softest stuffed bear Rachel had ever seen to put in the designated nursery area. She helped practice getting Rachel to the hospital, and went to Lamaze classes with her, even when Rachel decided on ungodly hours of the morning weekend ones, complaining and dragging herself, but going. She wasn’t always perfect, and she wasn’t always kind, but she did more than Rachel ever would have thought.

And in some universes, Rachel fell in love with her for it. In some universes, she said something. In some universes, she didn’t. And in some universes, it isn’t until after the baby is born does Rachel, watching Santana hold her child after being in there for the birth, ask Santana if she wants to raise it together, with her, as a family. And in some of those universes, smiling and settling Baby Berry into Rachel’s arms, adjusting the blankets around them, Santana says, weren’t they already?

But in my favorite universes, it’s in the middle of three am cryings and disgusting diaper changes, barely any sleep and round the clock schedules for Rachel, Santana, and Kurt, that Rachel, exhausted and getting ready to pull Santana down for a nap with her, stops and turns to her friend, asking her if she feels how everything’s changed - between them, for them - and, maybe, she would like to explore that with her. And in those same universes, Santana, groaning and falling into bed, barely waiting for Rachel to join her to spoon her and pull the covers up around the both of them, mumbles, already falling asleep, that it’s way past time for beauty sleep, Baby Berry has too powerful lungs, and she’ll kiss her when they wake up.