i should stop typing here and just publish this

discarded power upgrade ideas for Dishonored 2
  • Aided Blink - Knees playing up? Feeling your age? Can’t climb those ledges on those daily parkour workouts? With Aided Blink you’ll automatically always land on the top of any ledge you select!
  • Windslap - Does your three-year-old look sad because their paper windmill isn’t turning? Perhaps you want to keep your newborn amused when you have to be cooking in the next room? Windslap creates a super-light blast of wind that is guaranteed to briefly activate a wind chime or turn on the light in the next room! Comes in three colours. 
  • Severely decrease spyglass magnification - never mind reaching for your reading spectacles! With this new ability you’ll be able to read the mail without asking the servants to bring it around the coffee table! (Actual spyglass not included.)
  • Push - always sick of your plants being nibbled by rats and cats? Perhaps your neighbour sometimes nicks a bottle of milk from your front door on weekends when they think you’re not looking! Then Push is the power for you! Give those pesky individuals a slight nudge which is almost definitely too soft to be blamed on you, but is probably noticeable enough to make them stop doing it! Works through glass windows so you don’t even have to get up from the couch.
  • Near Reach - does it always seem like the TV remote is slightly too far away? Grab objects between two feet and five feet away with Near Reach! Caution: Not recommended for use on containers of whale oil
  • Shadow Baby - always have that one annoying relative who’s constantly dissatisfied with your lemon meringue? How about that manager at work seems to time yon on your lunch breaks? Maybe you should try Shadow Baby! It transforms any adult into a shadow for five seconds, long enough to escape scrutiny for those precious moments of me-time! (Warning: does not work with fluorescent lights, incandescent lights, or indeed any type of artificial lights. Sorry, we don’t know why. Larry, make sure to edit out this part when we publish the ad for power upgrades, I’m just making a mental note here so I can balance out the text spacing on the poster. And btw Larry stop using Push on my Sokolov figurine, I know it’s you, no-one else in this department has an office in that direction down the hall and little Sokolov is always face down in my coffee when I come back from lunch