i should starve again


I’ll finish these sketches tomorrow.
Have these for now, because I’m tired.
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I should draw Don’t Starve a bit more.
Cause I didn’t for quite a good while now.


Ok so I felt the need to share this to create some balance and de-pedestal myself a bit. I am 1000000000 percent supportive of loving your bod and rocking what you have and owning it, but that doesn’t mean I am somehow immune to the struggles of not loving what you see in the mirror. I recently feel like I have gained a bit of weight, which makes sense because I don’t exercise at all and I eat like Culkin in home alone, Shia in disturbia, ect. You get the point. in the past two weeks I’ve had a really hard time getting dressed. The majority of my pants I cant squeeze into, and the ones I can I feel like am a sausagey to the max. My immdiete thought when I realized I was not in a shape I am usually comfortable with was ‘hmmm maybe I should start starving myself again’ I quickly banished that thought because 1, I have the tools to. and 2, because it’s so much work and effort and I wasn’t willing to give that energy. I spoke to my therapist and my mom and that helped ease those nasty thoughts and I am going to look for a new exercise thing to put into my routine. But still for the time being I am struggling. but this morning I woke up I didn’t put on baggy pants and a sweatshirt, leggings and a large tshirt, masking and hiding my shape. I put on tight ass mom jeans where I feel pretty dang sausagey and a bright marigold fluffy top and even though I am 60 percent secure and comfortable I am doing this so my insecurities don’t take over my life. I am trying to practice what I preach. I wanted to write all of this becuase some people have reached out saying I say so many strong things about women and they wish they were as strong as me. I am not as strong as Buuski. Buuski is the super power woman and I am tallulah. I have weak moments but I try to remeber what she has said. Ok anyway thank you if you have taken the time to read this whole thing. Happy Saturday!