i should probably maybe go to sleep

OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*
Tom helping you study:

-Coming home after a long day and knowing you need to study but wanting so badly to avoid it once you walk in the door and see Tom’s face

-“Alright sooo, I got some of that cheese you like, and some bubbly, I thought we could catch up on House of Cards? Or whatever you want to watch sweetheart, doesn’t bother me.”

-Just feeling really sad and disheartened because you know you can’t and him picking up on it straight away

-“What’s wrong darling? I’m sorry, we don’t have to do that, we could go out or something? I just thought you might like to have a night in.”

-“It’s not that, I just really need to study for this exam tomorrow and I’d love to do all that but I’m gonna fail if I don’t study, Tom I’m sorry I jus-”

-Tom steadying you with his hands on your shoulders, putting his hand on your cheek and bending down to look in your eyes to reassure you

-“Hey, hey now. Love, your studies are important, you know that, I know that, don’t you dare be sorry about it. Now I don’t know how much help I can be, but what if I be your study buddy? I’ll help you in any way you need me to.”

-“You’d do that?”

-“Only for you my love.”

-Both of you sitting on the ground with your legs crossed, your books and notes spread out on the coffee table with your laptop, and he’s just staring at your notes in awe of how much you take on

-“You just tell me what you’d like me to do and I’ll do it. No questions asked.”

-“That’s very ballsy of you Tom.”

-Getting him to highlight certain words in a word passage for you and him not knowing what colour you’d prefer

-“Okay so you’ve got pink, orange, yellow or green here, which should I use love?”

-“It doesn’t really matter Tommy.”

-“You wore green knickers yesterday, so I’ll use green.”

-“TOM”

-Just KNOWING Tom has so many questions about the depths of what you’re studying because he’s a curious little puppy but he holds them back because he doesn’t want to distract you

-“You have lovely handwriting darling.”

-“Thank you Tommy.”

-Tom rubbing your back while he waits for you to give him something to do

-“Tommmmm”

-“Yes love, what can I do??”

-“Could you maybe make me a snack?”

-“Crackers? And that cheese I got for you?”

-“Yes pleaseeee”

-“I’m on it.”

- Tom wanting to feed you the cheese and crackers so you ‘don’t have to waste your study time picking it up yourself’

-“Tom I can feed myself, you don’t have to do that.”

-“But I’m helpingggg”

-“Okay okay, fine”

-Getting him to quiz you and him being so serious about it, covering the back of the page with his hand so you can’t peep through

-“Are you gonna have a buzzer?”

-“No Tom, I don’t need a buzzer, I’m the only person answering.”

-“But it’s a quiz show.”

-“It’s a quiz for study, not a quiz show Tommy.”

-“…….it’s a quiz show and your buzzer is ‘ribbit’.”

-Watching some recorded lessons on your laptop and Tom watching with you even though he clearly finds it boring af

“Tom you don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to.”

“No no I want to, this is great.”

“Mhm.”

-Struggling to read your notes because you left your glasses upstairs and Tom knowing exactly what’s up

-So he goes upstairs and grabs them for you but you’re too focused to notice

-He comes up behind you and slides them on your face, and it’s the littlest gesture but you’re so so grateful

-“You need to wear them darling, your eyes are probably sore enough as it is”

-“I love you Thomas”

-“I love you too.”

-Tom looking through the novel you’re studying and reading all your annotations because he just loves to see your thoughts written down

- Starting to feel really sleepy and Tom noticing your eyes drooping

-“How’re you going love? Maybe you should head off to bed soon”

-“I’m almost done, I just need to go through this last few notes and summarise them, would you make me a coffee please?”

-“No love, it’s bloody 12am. You can have tea, coffee will have you wired and you still need to sleep.”

-“Thank you for making my good choices for me”

-“That’s what I’m here for”

-Finally finishing up and just collapsing back into the gap between where his arm is holding his also very tired body up and his torso, his hand resting gently on your hip giving it a tap

-“Alright, time for bed I think.”

-Tom helping you to bed, and letting you wear his lucky socks, the fluffy blue ones with clouds on them

-“I always wear them to my auditions, you can wear them tonight to give you luck for your exam tomorrow”

- Thinking it’s a little ridiculous, but his sweet soft boy face is utterly serious

-“I’d be honoured to wear your lucky socks. They have been washed though right?”

-“I think so.”

-Tom slipping into bed beside you pulling you into his embrace, one arm under you neck, the other curled around your waist

-“Alright love, one last question. Buzzers ready. Who’s the best Spider-Man?”

-“Ribbit. You are, you idiot”

-“That’s what I like to hear.” 

.

.

.

.


Some of my friends are currently doing their exams (they know who they are), and I’m very proud of them and I think they deserve Tom as a study buddy highkey (not to mention all the goodness in the world), I know I would have fucking loved him as a study buddy when I was at school. S/o to anyone currently doing exams/hardcore studying! Get that education xxx

3

Hey remember when it was revealed that you and Zen actually had plans to get married but his parents still haven’t learned to accept him?

Well do you remember how apologetic he was about not being able to marry you because he just wants you to be happy, but his need for his parents’ approval even after all these years is stopping him?

He’s so sure about how much he loves you but somehow even with you in his life he still can’t get a completely happy ending because of his parents.

He probably lays awake in the dead of the night sometimes, looks at you sleeping next to him, and wonders if he should just let you go because you deserve better, because you deserve to be able to get married, you deserve for your future children to have caring and supportive grandparents… and he can’t give you any of that.

Maybe your happiness lies somewhere else and he’s just holding you back.

Maybe he deserves to be alone.

Who was the first to fall in love
  • Bokuaka: everybody thinks that it was Bokuto, but it was really Akaashi
  • Kagehina: obviously Kageyama like look at him so sweet so gay
  • Iwaoi: Oikawa!!! Those arms are supafine, iwa
  • Kiyoyachi: I think it's kind of said in the thing that Yachi thought Kiyoko was hot immediately, and Yachi saw Kiyoko first? Maybe???
  • Ukatake: Ukai thought Takeda was amazing, then Takeda saw the beauty that was Ukai
  • Kuroken: Kuroo was following Kenma around for ages, in love, before Kenma realized that he actually liked the nerdy, fabuloso, wonderful boy
  • Tsukiyama: I would really like it to be Tsukki, but probably it was Yams
  • Asanoya: Nishinoya
Days of the week: Wednesday (smut)

Words: 2252 of pure smut. Kinda fluff in the final

Warning: Smut

Reader x Hoseok

Days of the week l Monday - Jin l Tuesday - Yoongi l Wednesday: Hoseok l Thursday - Namjoon l Friday - Jimin

Masterlist here


Originally posted by vexedmikxyla

“I would love to stay” you said.

You weren’t expecting that you would be tired enough not to go home. You didn’t know you would be tired enough for them not to let you go home. You also didn’t know you would have the nicest morning of your entire life.


  “Jagi? Wake up” a sweet voice called you. You murmured a “No” and turned around to let the couch’s pillow swallow your face. Not that they hadn’t invited you to sleep on their beds, but you denied. You wouldn’t sleep if you had gone, and not that it would be actually a problem, but you were really tired. You needed to sleep a little. Your half-awake mind told you to wake up. It’s probably morning and you should have breakfast. Maybe they invite you, you thought.

“Come on, Jagi. It’s time for breakfeasteu” the voice said and you immediately recognized. Hobi. His accent, ah…

“Hum… I think I should go home” you murmured. You looked at him and he smiled at you, and you immediately covered yourself. Oh ma fucking God I just woke up I must be horrible.

 “Why are you hiding?” he asked and tried to uncover you.

“Oh my God, don’t look at me” you said.

“Why not?”

 “I just woke up, you can’t see my face like this” you said. He laughed and uncovered you.

“Stop it. You’re beautiful. Come on, have a… breakfasteu with us” he said, “If you need a minute, the bathroom is over there”

 You stood up quickly, trying to hide your face, and before you could run to the bathroom, he pulled your arm, making you face him.

 “If you are so insecure about yourself, maybe I’ll have to take Namjoon’s turn and show you how beautiful you are” he said and your heart stopped. Oh, my… He was going to…? Take Namjoon’s turn?

“Huh… I… Maybe…” you tried to say something in answer but no words came out. Your cheeks were getting even pinker and your legs weaker.

“It’s ok. I need to wake up my hyungs” he said and let you go.

 You ran to the bathroom and locked the door. You looked yourself on the mirror. Oh my God. What am I doing? I am getting fucked by… 7 guys. I am at their home, being feed, being used. Is this right? I should probably stop…  What if they think I am a slut? And what is gonna happen when all this is over? Shit. All this can’t be happening. This is so… urgh! Ok. Take it easy. You can do it, Y/N, you thought. You washed your face – at least you wouldn’t look like a zombie – and walked out of the bathroom. The moment you got out of there you crashed onto Jimin, who did hold you.

“Hey.  Good morning” he said, giving you his eye-smile, “I’m sorry”

“No, my fault. Morning, Oppa” you said and his smile got bigger when you called him Oppa.

“Are you having breakfast with us?” he asked, his voice sound kinda hopeful.

“Yeah, Hobi invited me, I hope its fine”

“Yeah. Come on. Let’s go”


 The breakfast was going absolutely great. The boys talked about their tour, they played with each other, occasionally playing with you, trying to bring you into the conversation, but all you could do was watch them. Cheesus, they were completely beautiful. They were really a family; all that they showed up in their Bangtan Bombs was real. No one was talking about that thing till Hoseok brought this up.

  “Huh, Namjoon hyung” he called. Namjoon looked at him. “I know today is your day, but, huh… I was wondering if we could switch our days. Like, I could take Y/N today instead of you” he asked. You thought that would bring a discussion or something, but Namjoon just said an “ok” and nodded. Oh…

Why was Hobi so anxious? Would he really “show you how beautiful you were”?

Now you were getting anxious. It was 9 a.m. and you were thinking about sex, God. No, Y/N, have your breakfast in peace. You didn’t notice you were red and tightening your thighs till Hoseok, who was beside you, squeezed it.

“You are all red. Is you ok?” he asked.

“It’s ‘are you’, Hope” Namjoon corrected. Ah, these boys

 “I am fine” you lied. You weren’t fine. You wanted him. One of them. Now.

“I think she is not telling us the truth” Yoongi said. You gave him a devious look, telling him not to say anything. “Ah, I know this look. I know very well…” he said and you blushed even more.

“Huh. I am fine.” You said, now your voice was trembling because everybody on that table was scanning you.

“Maybe you should take her to your room and ask her again, hyung.” Taehyung said.

“I think so” Hobi said and stood up. “Milady?” he said and offered you his hand. Of course you wanted to go with him, but that was so embarrassing! Everybody was looking at you, Jesus. Everybody knew you were going to fuck. Everybody knew you had fucked the night before… And the night before the night before. Shit.

  You followed him toward the door you had been with Jin. You looked at the bed you both had used and sighed, the memories coming to your mind. He locked the door and turned to look at you, who were sat on the bed.

“Are you okay?” he asked and sat beside you. You hadn’t noticed yourself before he said that. Your face was serious. Too serious for someone who was about to fuck. You decided to be honest with him.

 “I was wondering if…” you said, looking down, “If this we are doing is right. I am getting fucked by you all. 7 people. I mean…It’s a little much. I don’t want you to think that I am a slut or something. I would never do that with someone else, I’m doing it with you guys because as a fan, I love you all so much and it’s hard not to say ye-“you said but he cut you.

“Hey, hey. Calm down. Breathe and relax. We would never think this about you, we are not assholes. We might be jokers but not assholes. Besides, sex is natural, and if you wanna have sex with someone, than have it” he said simply, never leaving your stare. You just nodded. “I still have to prove something…” he stated and got closer to you. He took your head between his hands and leaned in, pecking your lips. Then, he pulled away to watch you.

 You smiled at him and kissed him by yourself. He smiled into the kiss, one of his hands going down to hold your hips. He licked on your bottom lip and you let his tongue explore your mouth, letting him control the kiss as well. He sucked your tongue, making you whimper.

 He put his hand under your shirt and on your back, finding the opening of your bra. He opened it and started to take off your shirt. You pulled away, but only long enough for him to take off your shirt and bra then kissed him again. Hobi’s kiss was soft but needy, different from Yoongi’s. You enjoyed the kiss as long as you could, till you started to take off his shirt too. He let you, and when you saw his abs you whimpered.

  “Oh my God” you whispered, touching his chest. He smiled at you and pushed you to your back softly, making you lay. He was now between your legs and kissing your neck, you weren’t sure if it would leave marks but you didn’t give a shit.

“Your boobs are perfect” he said and traveled down, sucking your collarbones and then your nipple, “perfect to suck and play with”. Even his dirty talk was cute. But still got you crazy. He was massaging your other boob, never leaving your skin. You closed your eyes, feeling him as much as you could, your hands entangling on his hair.

 He started to kiss you again, this time his hand playing with the zipper of your shorts. Your tongues were dancing against each other, the kiss getting deep. You decided to move, letting one of your hands go down and touch his crescent erection. Once you touched it, he groaned, caressing himself against your hand.

“Shiteu” he groaned. You started squeezing it slightly, teasingly. He noticed it and pulled away from you, sitting on his ankles taking off his clothes completely. His dick was bigger than Jin’s and Suga’s and you couldn’t help but wide your eyes. His head was dripping pre-cum and you just wanted to lick this off.

“See what you did to me?” he said and started pumping himself. Moans started to come out of his mouth, he let his head fall back in pleasure as you watched him masturbate himself. Little bastard. You wanted to do that. You should be doing that. Seeing his eyes were closed, you stood up and kneeled in front of him. Before he could even open his eyes, you put your mouth around his tip, licking the salty liquid off it. He looked at you in surprise.

“Hum…” he moaned and took a fistful of your hair, controlling your speed. You started to test your gag reflex, taking him more and more. You used one of your hands to massage his balls, and he tightened his grip on your hair, moving you faster, making you gag a little.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the warm liquid in your mouth.

“Oh, shit, Y/N. I think it’s my turn, right? I’ll show you how beautiful you are” he said and laid down. He tapped his lap, “Fucking ride me” he said.

You almost ran, straddling his lap. You lowered yourself slowly, and once you adjusted, you started moving. You were slowly at first, testing the sensation, feeling his dick stretching you. His finger added pressure on your clit, and you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore.

You moved up and down fast, roughly, your skin slapping against his violently, the sound mixing with your moans and his. He pulled you down, and you took the chance to kiss him, sucking and biting his bottom lip.

“Fuck…Y/N, you’re wonderful-ah” he groaned. Shit. He was stretching you real good; he was hitting the perfect spots. His hands found your butt and he slapped it, the pain turning into pleasure quickly.

 “Oh my God, Hobi” you moaned out and realized where you were. You weren’t at home and the others were outside there. Probably hearing you both. You stopped moving for a second, getting embarrassed.

“What? What?” he said, breathing heavily.

 “We are being loud” you stated.

“So?”

 “I dunno, shouldn’t we- ah!” you tried to say but he moved his hip up, thrusting into you hard, making you jump. That was enough to shut you up.

 You kept moving, the sounds getting louder and the pleasure getting bigger and bigger inside you both.

“You are a fucking kitten for my cock, don’t you” he whispered on your ear. That was enough.

You tightened yourself around him, your walls warming his dick, tightening around him. He squeezed your butt harshly as he came, releasing all inside you before you could cum.

“You…” he said, breathing, “you didn’t…” he tried to say and you signaled a “no”.

In one fast movement, he stood up and pushed you down, opened your legs and introduced three fingers inside you suddenly. You almost yelled. He started pumping them in and out in an impossibly fast pace, his fingertips hitting your g-spot every time. He introduced a fourth, while the other hand of his played with your clit, and you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore. You cummed, the hot liquid coming out of you violently.

 Fucking hell. What was that?

“Join me for a shower?” he said. You nodded.

You followed him towards the bathroom. He turned the water on, and once your bodies were already wet, he started washing you softly. His touch was so soft it sent you shiver.

Once you were done, you started drying yourselves and he looked for something on his locker. Then, he offered you a hoodie, sweatshirts and one of – probably his – his boxers.  You looked at him.

“N-no, I can’t accept it. I can wear my clothes” you said.

“Please. Just take it”. He said.

The biggest challenge now was to get out of there. You wouldn’t be able to look into the boys’ faces. They had heard you fucking, hard. Yoongi would probably make one of his cocky comments. Oh…

“Let’s go?” Hoseok said and took your hand. You smiled at him and walked out.

“Had fun?” Namjoon asked.

You got red by the moment the guys looked at you. You murmured a yes.

 “I gotta, hum… I gotta go back to my dorm, my roommate is probably wondering where the hell I am, so…” you said, “Hobi, I’ll bring these tomorrow, ok?” you said.

“Just keep it” He answered.

“Ok, huh… I’ll go” you said and hugged each of them, but when Namjoon’s turn came out, he pulled you closer, not letting you go and whispered loud enough only for you to hear:

 “I hope you aren’t too tired, because tomorrow is my turn and then you’ll see what is like to be really fucked” he said.


A/N: I got you all, huh? Namjoon’s turn is the next one

Don’t Look Back (ACOTAR AU) - Masterlist

It’s senior year and everyone is fighting battles they do not want to face. Toxic relationships, conservative parents and alcohol are a bad mix. Quite frankly a recipe for disaster.

Originally posted by destructive-fidelity

Part 1 -  “It’s okay, I stare at you on a daily basis, so it’s only fair.”


Part 2 - “Mum, please tell him to stop.”

“Why should I? I love hearing about my future daughter in law.”


Part 3 - “Wow, you don’t have guests often, do you?” 

“Not special ones.”


Part 4 -  “You know you’re screwed when your 14 year old sister is giving you romantic advice.”


Part 5 -  “I’m sure sleeping is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing during P.E.”


Part 6 -  “This is probably the closest to getting laid that you will have in a long time, mate.”


Part 7 -  “And you just asked Feyre to marry you.”

“She said maybe.”


 Part 8 “Because they’re not going to beat the shit out of Tamlin. We’re not savages, Lucien, we don’t resort to violence. Although I would like to break his face repeatedly, I tend to do it in my imagination - helps me sleep at night.”


Part 9 The air was thick with tension, unspoken words lingered on tightly closed lips.


Part 10 “…I think that everything slows when you laugh because it makes me want to savour the sound. You are like a burning supernova because you inject more light in the world every time I see you. You are explosive and consuming and …I think you’re spectacular Feyre Archeron.”

“No wonder you’re good at poetry.”


Part 11 -  He had basically just confessed his love to Feyre in front of his entire family yet Feyre seemed to remain completely unaware that it wasn’t part of the act. Fuck his life.


Part 12 -   “Well isn’t this just the perfect fucking family reunion.”


Part 13 (NSFW) - Lucien looked up to find a very oversized Shaggy and a rather uncomfortable looking Scooby Doo.

“Am I high?”


Part 14 “You’re a stupid prick. Why didn’t you fight back?”

“Your freckles are adorable, especially up close.”


Part 15 (NSFW) - “Ah fuck this is so embarrassing.”

“Why?” 

“Because I can barely control myself when you touch me.” 


Part 16 -  “Feyre, whatever is in this damn box, I will love it because it came from you.”

“Even if it’s something gross like a dying pigeon?” 

“Even then.”…”Please tell me it’s not a dying pigeon.”


Part 17 - “How do you go from smooth, witty, insufferable prick to a flushing teenage boy in a matter of seconds?”

“Maybe, Feyre Archeron, it is because I am both of those things.”


Part 18 (NSFW) - “What are we?” 

“I don’t know. What do two kids in love normally do in the films?”

“Well Romeo and Juliet committed suicide, Jack died for Rose on the tit-“

“I said normally, you idiot.”


Part 19Feyre was the type of girlfriend that called him to just rant about something insignificant, to be constantly holding his hand, to blush when he kissed her openly in public. Then she was also the type to have his cock in her mouth while he was driving - well, stuck in traffic on a dark winters rush hour.


Part 20 (FINAL)“I really, really love you.”

“That’s convenient.” 

“It is, isn’t it?” 

Just realized something. The whole Lars/Sadie relationship thing isn’t going to work out once Lars returns to Earth.

Now that Lars is a pink zombie, he is presumably going to be stuck as a teenager for the rest of his existence. In all likelihood, that’s going to be a lot longer than the typical human lifespan.

Sadie, on the other hand, is going to continue to age and grow. At best,they can maybe keep the relationship going for a few years. It’s unlikely, however, that Sadie is going to be in her 30s married to someone who looks like they’re still a teenager.

Then again, there are humans that date gems in this universe, so I suppose it’s possible.

Even then, though, Lars is going to have to watch Sadie, the Cool Kids, his parents, and everyone he knows age and inevitably die, at which point he may expect Steven to Pink-zombify all of them. That could be one hell of an awkward conversation that could potentially start a zombie apocalypse.

I should probably get some sleep now.

handgranade-punksprinkleddonuts  asked:

alllright! RFA+V and Saeran finding out that MC doesn't/don't really look after themselves that much? (sometimes skips meals bc they ate too much junk food, they don't have a consistent sleep schedule -me rn since i'm sending this at 2 am and I have school tomorrow lol-, "MC, when was the last time you took a bath? "lol idk")

Yoosung

  • constantly trying MC to get their life in order even tho his life is the same
  • he hates it when he asks MC when was the last time they slept healthily and they reply with “when was the last time you did huh”
  • honestly,,, he really can’t critique because he truly is living that Broke College Student Lifestyle 
  • he’ll try to help MC and himself? like MC will send him a message at 3am after eating a week old frozen pizza and he’ll freak out and tell them to go to sleep even though he is awake at 3am and probably just ate a whole bowl of leftover pasta without sauce or something
  • he’s so. consistent. with. his. “did you eat?” messages. it’s like he has them scheduled or queued or something

Jaehee

  • much like Yoosung, she’s trying to make MC get their life together even though hers is a trashcan fire rolling down a hill at ten miles per hour
  • an actual argument she had one time was whether she or MC was doing better because MC hadn’t eaten dinner but she had half a cup of coffee and they were discussing who should be telling who to take care
  • once she has more free time, though, she’s always trying to help MC
  • sometimes she goes over and helps them clean the place because knows MC sometimes just. has no energy to
  • she’s really surprised MC manages party-organizing and living like this at the same time? she must help?
  • sometimes she buys convenience store meals and goes to eat them with MC because even though it’s not the peak of healthy foods, it’s better than eating too many burger king hashbrowns and then skipping a meal because you can still taste those little potato fuckers in your throat

Zen

  • local man who basically lives on beer and whatever-food tries to help partner with equally messy life
  • he doesn’t go to sleep too early, but he starts to. why? because he hopes that if he keeps sending MC “goodnight!” and “good morning” it might just help them? 
  • ok he knows it probably won’t but at least it will be a reminder to MC that it’s already past 10 and maybe they should think about sleeping
  • and even if he’s not the healthies eater HE’S NEVER GOING TO STOP WITH THE “DID YOU EAT YET” MESSAGES WHAT THE HELL AFTER EVERY MEAL TIME THEY COME IN LIKE CLOCKWORK PLEASE CHILL ZEN

Jumin

  • ok no not really but
  • HE’S SO SHOCKED
  • this pretty boy may not sleep much but he doesn’t even know what chicken nuggets are so he’s not familiar with the “oh god I ate so much fucking french fries i literally can’t eat anything else today” feel MC has got going on
  • like……. no please he loves MC too much to see them live like this,…
  • sends over food to MC’s place so they have something real to eat and don’t end up going to kfc at 2 am to buy some chicken popcorn and can instead reheat some delicious meal
  • also he constantly reminds MC to bathe and sleep because he just. he just wants MC to live better please

707

  • ha ha ha ha same
  • doesn’t. even try to help MC
  • he knows. he knows no ammount of messages will help or anything
  • why? 
  • buddy pal friend he’s living off chips and soda and sometimes goes for at least three days without sleeping and he can probably count the amount of times he bathed in the last two weeks in one hand
  • he wants to help MC so bad,,, but he’s scared his messages will come off as annoying so he just sends in jokes vaguely relating to the “good night/ have you eaten/did you take a bath” vibe and hopes MC can figure out the meme’s hidden meaning

V

  • he just worries
  • whenever MC says something like “i cant eat dinner i ate the biggest fucking taco i’ve seen” he worries a lot
  • it’s in his nature to worry quite a bit, but when it’s someone so close to him he worries even more
  • still, he’s also super considerate and makes sure MC never feels guilty when he tells them?
  • he likes to invite MC out to eat to nice little cafes because that means MC gets to go outside, get fresh air, eat ok and spend time with him
  • best boy

Saeran

  • in an odd twist of events, it’s MC who begins to help him
  • sometimes, he forgot to eat meals because he was too distracted, or sometimes he couldn’t sleep at all. some days he just felt too tired to take a bath or pour himself some cereal
  • and MC knew how that felt, but like helll they’d let Saeran go on like that when they could help
  • it was… odd at first. asking saeran if he was feeling ok in the mornings, reminding him to eat and bathe- reminding him to do stuff they weren’t really doing- and seeing him actually appreciate it under his huffy facade
  • eventually, it became mutual messaging and reminding when saeran found out MC was doing pretty much the same things they were trying to help him fix
Some More Maybe Not As Common Sicknarios

- You bump into me while at the dealer’s room of a con, and wow you look really pale! Let’s get you out of here!

- I work in a pharmacy and I’m about to close when you come stumbling in, and no, no! It’s really fine! I can stay open to get your prescription processed. You should probably sit down while you wait.

- We regularly game online together, and wow! You sound terrible! What are you even doing on?? You need sleep!

- You are the lifeguard at our local beach, and no! No let me go save the drowning kid because you look like you are about to pass out!

- I’m too drunk to drive, and you’re my taxi driver, and woah! Are you okay!? Should you even be driving like this!?

- I suck at math and you are my tutor, and wow when’s the last time you slept!? Is that a fever!? How are we supposed to work through equations when you are this sick!?

- You’re my college professor, and this is probably inappropriate but can I get you a tea? Some tissues? You look very sick….

Mistake

Remus x reader

Warnings: Angst I guess dude. Swearing. Always coming at you unedited.

“Remus. Fuck fuck fuck,” You panted, trying to catch your breath.

Blood was pounding in your ears. The darkness made it impossible to see anything in front yourself. A distant howl forced you to run on.

It wouldn’t be long until Remus would catch up. Running away from a werewolf is impossible, especially when it knew your scent so well.

“God fuck,” you whispered to yourself, “Since when do you forget to take your wolfsbane.”

Suddenly the wolf cut you off. He bared his teeth at you, growling his threat.

“Remus, love,” you pleaded, hoping beyond hope to bring back his human side, “This isn’t you. You’re the man I love, come back to me.”

Instead the wolf advanced quickly, claws scratching at your skin. Screams pierced the night, as you struggled against the wolf’s attack. As the attack progressed, you found it impossible to hold on to your consciousness.

It seemed to take forever for the beast to be satisfied with the pain it caused before it left. You’re body felt like lead and the pain was unbearable. Whimpers escaped as you thought about the pain and what Remus would do when he realized what was done while he was the beast. It was too much and your mind just let go.

-

“YN!”

You felt someone shaking you. /No no, stop it hurts./

“Please, YN, answer me. Please? Love, I need you,” you heard a man crying as he pleaded.

Who was that? Wait…Remus! It had to be!

You opened your eyes, the sun blinding you momentarily. “Re-Remus,” you managed a small, tired smile.

“Love, love, I’m so sorry. I understand if you can’t forgive me,” he cried, pulling you onto his lap, “I could never forgive myself.”

A couple of tears escaped as you started to feel the pain in your body. “Re? It’s not your fault. You weren’t you…. C-can we please go home?”

“Of course it’s my fault, darling,” he rose up with you in his arms, “I didn’t take my wolfsbane. How could I be so stupid and forget?”

“It was a mistake. C'mon love, I’m okay,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Be hap-”

“You want me to be happy?” He asked anger clouding his eyes, “How the hell so you expect me to feel happy after what I did? In control or not. I did this!”

You hid your face between his neck and shoulder. “I’m sorry…”

“And now you’re apologizing to me…” he shook his head, “It’s not right.”

The two of you spent the next couple of hours in silence. Remus spent the better part of the walk in self pity. You had forgiven him, even during the attack. Taking a small peek at him, you checked his own damages from the transformation. He looked pale and ill, more so than usual, a new scar joined the ones on his face.

You wiggled out of his arms, ignoring his complaints. “We’re two streets down,” you held his hand as you limped along, “Anyhow you’re in bad shape too.”

“Love please? As you said, it’s not that far from home and I want to see what happened to your leg before you start walking on it.”

“It’s just a sprain, nothing more,” you winced as you accidentally let your weight on the injured ankle, “I can take it. It’s not as bad as it probably looks.”

He rolled his eyes and started walking off alone towards home. “Since you don’t need me, I’ll just make my way home alone.”

“Love you, too, Remus,” you sighed, completely tired of the situation.

“You shouldn’t.” He left, his strides quickly creating distance between the two of you.

Even though the house wasn’t far off it took you at least thirty minutes to get there. Your ankle felt as if it was on fire. Not to mention your body felt absolutely disgusting.

Once inside you went to the bathroom to clean off the dirt and dried blood, hissing as the water pelted your cuts. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you stepped out of the shower. Maybe a bit of rest would help the both of you.

“Hey, Rem, let’s get some sleep. We’ll feel better. Maybe some chocolate too?” You asked, walking into the room. Taking notice of the suit case on the bed you raised your brows, “What the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like, YN,” he sighed, packing in more clothes, “I’m not staying with you.”

“W-what?” Your vision blurred, “Remus John Lupin, you’re not going anywhere-” he moved past you at the door way, “Why should I be punished for your mistake?”

“If I do it once, more probable than not it will happen again,” he shoved a book into his bag, “Hell be damned if I allow it to happen again.”

Your anger took over. “Fine! Leave, run away from your problems! Here I have a couple of books for you to read! They all leave in these too,” you screamed as you started throwing books at him.

The two of you stayed there for a minute. You shocked and afraid. Remus angry and remorseful. Slowly, Remus sank on to his knees, resting his head on your stomach as he attempted to calm. You stroked his cheek, wishing for him to change his mind.

He stood, wiping tears from his eyes, “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go..”

He pressed a kiss to your cheek before picking up his bag and leaving.

Originally posted by mmoony

Maybe I am nice - Montgomery de la Cruz ( part 1/?)

a/n: I would love to make a new Montgomery series since I didn’t really liked my previous one, let me know what you think about it and if I should continue. I really love all the feedback you guys give me! Every reaction makes my heart melt. I love you all so much! 

word count:  777

Enjoy!xxx

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You put on your sneakers and left your house. It was another party at Bryce’s house, like every Saturday and you never skipped any. You loved the atmosphere there, all the jocks being hyped about winning their game and everybody loosened up a little. You walked to the pool house and fixed yourself a drink before you decided to join a couple boys in the sofa including your best friend, Jeff Atkins. You never understood how the two of you became friends, he was so kind and sweet and you were, let’s say, the opposite of that. It was like Jeff was the only one who could see through your façade, he understood you had enough pain in your life to build 5 walls around you. He understood without you even telling him.

“Well look who we have here, the one and only Atkins.” You said while sitting in an empty spot next to Montgomery de la Cruz. Jeff sat at a table together with some other jocks like Zach Dempsey, Justin Foley and the others. You liked his friends but you didn’t really knew them, you heard some things about them like you heard things about everyone, some things better than the others but they seemed okay. You interfered in their conversation pretty quickly and had a lot of fun. You got some more drinks, you felt pretty comfortable next to Montgomery. Out of the blue you got in a conversation with him alone, ignoring the others around you. During all the talking Jeff had already left, he asked if  you were joining since you planned on sleeping at his place but you liked someone’s company a little too much. Montgomery seemed way less superficial than you thought he was. He told you about why baseball meant so much for him and what his future plans were. You didn’t notice that the others around you went outside. The two of you were lost in each others stories. You kept fixing each other drinks and you started to feel a little drunk.

“I really like this but after all the drinks I really need to go to the bathroom.” You tried to stand up but stumbled a little.

“Are you okay?” Montgomery stood up and gave you a shoulder to lean on.

“Why are you so nice Montgomery?” You asked in a very sincere tone. The only times you saw him, he was pushing other kids against lockers or fighting. You never saw him being nice but it gave you a good feeling.

“Maybe I am nice.” He laughed “We should probably get you home, where are you sleeping?” he asked.

“I was going to spend the night at Jeff’s but since I stayed with someone else when he left I don’t know.”  You laughed, you knew Jeff was going to interrogate you for 10 hours tomorrow.

“You’re staying at my place let’s go.” He said before he made you jump on his back and walked home with you like that. You laid your head on his shoulder. What was happening? Where was your hard façade.

“You know I really liked the talking y/n.”

“Me too Montgomery, but now I’m starting to get very sleepy. This movement makes me pretty calm, or maybe yeah you know, it’s you.” What are you saying? You should tape your mouth shut you stupid idiot. You knew him for 5 hours. What was your problem?

He dropped you at his front door. Let you walk in before and closing the door behind you. Only now you felt how drunk you were. You tried to walk to the couch but walking in a straight line was hard.

“Wowowow racing machine, you’re sleeping in my bed. I’ll crash on the couch.”

“Why don’t you join me? But don’t get your hopes up high de la cruz.” You laughed, not that you were in a state to do something but you made sure he knew.

“If you don’t mind? And I would never take advantage of a drunk girl.” He helped you up the stairs, gave you a large shirt of his and let you alone in his room to change. You already laid down under the sheets when he came back in. He climbed over you and laid down next to you. You were drowning into sleep when you heard Montgomery whisper.

“I wish I met you before y/n, maybe then I would have been a better person, I know it sounds weird but I got a good feeling about you..” you turned around seeing a shocked expression on his face. He probably thought you were sleeping already.

“I wish I met you earlier too.” Letting out a soft, drunk, giggle before finally falling asleep.  

Let me know what you think and thanks for reading! xxx

EXO Reaction to their S/O being a light sleeper

XOXO, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol:

*Always turns the alarm off so you don’t wake up and have a little bit more of sleep* “She barely slept three hours… she’ll thank me later…”

Kris:

“Oh no.. please don’t tell me I woke you up… I’m sorry baobei, I thought you weren’t home yet…” *He’s always a mess, but he worries* “Come… I’ll make you some tea”

Sehun:

*Never falls asleep until you have fallen asleep* “If she wakes up… I’ll just help her fall asleep again. I don’t want her to be up at night and alone. That’s what I’m here for…”

Tao:

*He has this theory that he sleeps for you both. But at least you won’t have to worry that he’ll wake you up”

Kai:

*Probably won’t  notice because baby is always sleeping and never knows what happens around him xD*

Xiumin:

*Every time you wake up he prepares you a special choco to help you sleep* “Here jagi, it’s ready. I hope you like it”

Baekhyun:

“I’ll give you my plushie so you cuddle him until you fall asleep… it…always…works…” *Just by holding he’s already falling sleep xD*

Luhan:

*Every time he accidentally wakes you up* “It wasn’t me! I didn’t do anything! …do you want me to sing you a lullaby?”

Chen:

*Always trying to be careful and not make any noise when he knows you are sleeping* “Shoot… I think I’ll sleep on the couch.. don’t want to wake her up when I lay on the bed”

Kyungsoo:

*He lays next to you, just watching you and singing-whispering knowing it always helps you to fall asleep*

Lay:

*He is really worried about your sleeping habits* “Baobei I think we should go see a doctor. It’s probably nothing serious but maybe he will give you something to help you sleep a little bit more… you look so tired”

Suho:

“You know…. it might help a little if we go to the spa and relax! Always helps me to sleep”

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

Behind The Album - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 6)

Originally posted by inkedcross

Part 5 

“Don’t you even fucking think about it,” you said pointing to your boyfriend. 

“What?” He asked innocently. 

“You know exactly what. Just because this camera is waterproof doesn’t fucking mean you can just push me off this board and into the ocean,” you said. “Besides I’m working remember? We’re supposed to be professional.” 

“You say that yet it’s hard to be professional when you’re wearing that,” he said. 

“Cause I’m gonna wear actual clothes while I’m in the ocean, yeah that sounds like a good idea,” you said. “Maybe you should learn how to control yourself.” 

“You’re just so… fucking hot,” he smirked. 

“You do realize I’m recording, right?” You said. “I’m going to have a lot of editing to do.” 

He laughed pushing himself back up on the board. “We’ll just keep it for  ourselves.”

You rolled your eyes. “Anyway, go back to acting like I’m not here, so I can actually use this footage.” 

“You’re so bossy,” he smirked. “It’s actually a bit of a turn on.” 

“Again? Really, if you keep talking, I’m adding this in and everyone will see,” you smirked. 

“You wouldn’t,” he said looking over at you. 

“Oh, I would,” you smirked kicking the board and causing him to fall off. 

**

Harry’s album was officially complete. He finally felt good with everything and in honor to celebrate, you all were going to have a listening party at the house. He got a chef to cook an amazing full-on Jamaican spread for dinner and you all gathered around with some drinks to listen to it after dinner. 

“Um, before we give this thing a listen, I just wanted to say a few things first,” he coughed. “I want to thank all of you for being here and putting your own lives on pause for over two months, so that I- we could make something I’m extremely proud of. The time I’ve spent here has been some of the greatest memories and best times of my life and you all are apart of that, so thank you.” 

“Thanks, buddy,” Jeff said. “Although, I’m sure Y/N has more do with that, then any of us,” he joked. 

He laughed. “She’s definitely part of it,” he smiled down at you. 

You gave him a quick kiss before he went over and pressed play. You cuddled up with Harry as you all sat around listening to it. Every so often, you’d look up and see the biggest, widest smile across Harry’s face. A part of you wanted to grab your camera and record this special moment, but you didn’t want to become Y/N, Harry Styles’ Videographer, you wanted to be Harry Styles’ girlfriend in that moment, so you stayed put and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

After the listening party, you all went your separate ways for the evening leaving you and Harry in the living room. 

“So, uh, what did you think?” He asked looking over at you. 

“Honestly?” You asked. 

“Honestly,” he nodded. 

“I… loved it,” you smiled. “It’s definitely you and you looked so happy listening to it. I’m really proud of you.” 

“Thank you,” he smiled putting his forehead against yours. “I’m really proud of it and I love it, so knowing that other people feel the same, is a great feeling to have.” 

“What would you have done if I told you I didn’t like it,” you giggled. 

“I would have been a little upset, but you’re allowed to have your own opinion and to be honest when I started making this album, I knew I wanted to make an album for myself, yeah, I want others to like and enjoy it too, but the only person I really care about liking it, is me,” he said. 

“You’re right, that’s all that should matter,” you nodded. “I think most of the time artists are trying too hard to make music that other people will like and lose who they are and what they want to be in the process.” 

“Yeah, I mean, there were times I felt like I was expected to make music that would sell, but I’m proud of all the music I’ve ever done,” he said. 

“And that’s great,” you smiled. 

He smiled laying his head on your shoulder. “You know I meant what I said about you being part of it of the reason why I had such a great time here,” he said. 

“Well, I’d hope so,” you giggled. “Or else I’d feel a little bad about myself,” you joked. 

“While we’re in London, I’d love for you to meet my family…” he whispered. “But I’d understand if you weren’t comfortable with that yet.” 

“Oh, wow,” you said. “I mean, yeah, I’d love to meet them.” 

“Really?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” you laughed. “But you know this means you’re going to have to meet mine soon as well.” 

“Yeah, I know,” he said. “Your Dad isn’t like one of those “No one is good enough for my daughter” dads is he?” 

“He’s a Dad, isn’t he? That characteristic pretty much goes hand in hand,” you laughed. 

“Well, that’s bloody wonderful,” he joked. 

“He’d only be a bit scary at first,” you said. “Then once he gets to know you, he’ll let up on the scariness.” 

He laughed. “I hope so,” he said. 

You giggled as he ran his hand up your legs. It was moments like this that made you feel giddy and the butterflies in your stomach. 

“It’s getting late, we should probably get to the room,” you whispered. “But I don’t want to move…” 

“We can just sleep out there,” he smiled pulling a blanket over the two of you. 

“Just don’t snore in my ear, and we’ll be good,” you giggled. 

“One day you’re going to miss my snoring, Y/N,” he mumbled. 

“Eh, maybe, maybe not,” you smirked. 

He rolled his eyes kissing your head before you both cuddled up against each other some more and fell asleep. 

**

Fast forward a few days later, you were now in London with Harry. You had planned on staying in a hotel, but Harry insisted on you staying with him. You asked him if he was sure since you two had only been together for a short while, but he said it was no different than living together in Jamaica and he pointed out that most nights you’d probably end up in his bed anyway. 

While that may have been true, staying with him in his house felt more…more… intimate than the house in Jamaica. The beach house wasn’t his and there were others staying in the same house, but now, you would be in Harry’s house, the one he owned, decorated, lived in, etc and it would just be the two of you. 

It felt as if your relationship was taking a huge step, not that you minded or anything, but now that you two were in the “real world” you two were going to have to figure out to separate your business relationship from your actual relationship. It also meant that you two would have to keep your relationship as private as you could. 

Which you didn’t mind because you didn’t want millions of people in your relationship, but you were worried how it might look knowing that you technically worked for him. 

Harry was taking a shower before meeting up with some of his London crew friends later in the day. You were cooking breakfast and had music playing away on your iPod. Since you knew Harry was still upstairs, you got lost in the song as you dance and sang your heart out as you cooked the omelet in the pan. 

Harry heard the music as he started down the stairs. He also heard something else and he realized it was you, singing. He had never heard you sing before and his eyes widened as he listened. You were really good especially when you hit the high note towards the end of the song. 

Harry was completely in awe of you as he watched you. When the song ended, you put the now fully cooked omelet on a plate and turned to put it on the bar, when you saw Harry standing there looking at you. 

“Uh… how long have you been there?” You asked. 

“A bit,” he smirked. 

“How much did you see?” You groaned as your cheeks flushed red.

“Enough to know that my girlfriend has been hiding a fucking damn good talent from me,” he said. 

You groaned. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” you said. 

“And why the fuck not?” He asked. “You sounded amazing.” 

“I was singing along to a song, it’s like Karaoke… anyone that isn’t tone deaf can do that,” you said. 

“Baby, I’ve been to karaoke plenty of times and none of them sounded like that,” he said. 

“That’s because 99.9% of the time it’s because they’re drunk,” you laughed. 

“No, but seriously, why didn’t you tell you could sing?” He asked. 

“Because it’s not that big of a deal,” you shrugged. 

“It is it me,” he said. “I want to know about all of your talents or anything about you really.” 

“Well, now you know,” you laughed. “But don’t get to use it because it’s not happening again anytime soon.” 

“That’s not fair,” he groaned. 

“I hate to break it to you, babe, but you’re the singer in this relationship, not me,” you pointed out.

“Maybe professionally… but damn, you’re definitely a singer too,” he said. 

You rolled your eyes. “Just eat your damn eggs before they get cold,” you laughed. 

“Yes, Ma’am,” he joked. 

**

About two hours later, Harry was getting dressed to head out to meet everyone. 

“You sure you don’t want to go?” He asked pulling a shirt over his head. 

“Yeah, I should get some work done,” you said. “Because we both know I haven’t done any since we got here.” 

“It’s not my fault,” he defended. 

“Really? Cause I seem to remember any time I was staring at my laptop trying to work, you got needy because I was ignoring you and then you got handsy,” you laughed. 

“Yeah, well can you blame me?” He smirked. 

You rolled your eyes. “You do realize the work I’m trying to finish is for you, right? So, like the more you distract me the longer this shit is going to take to get done,” you laughed. 

“Good thing there isn’t a time stamp for this shit to be done,” he smirked. 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” You laughed. 

“Trying to get me out of my own house?” He gasped. 

“Yep, now, go, or I will go back to my original plan of staying at a hotel,” you said. 

“Like hell you are,” he mumbled with a pout. 

You laughed. “Look, while you’re out with your friends this afternoon, I’ll be able to get tons of work done, which means I’ll be all yours tonight,” you smiled. “And we can do whatever you want.” 

“Whatever?” He smirked raising an eyebrow. 

“Within reason,” you laughed. 

He laughed. “I’ll see you later, baby. Call me if you need anything or if you change your mind about coming out,” he said. 

You nodded giving him a kiss before he grabbed his things and headed out the door. As soon as he was gone, you set up your laptop and other equipment up. While everything was loading up, you grabbed yourself a snack and drink before setting up at your makeshift desk. 

Harry shut the door behind him and got into his Range Rover before backing out of his driveway. He put the car in drive before driving down the street on his way to the meeting place he would meet his friends at, completely unaware of the mysterious black car following behind him the entire way. 

**Let me know what you think and anything you want me to add into the story! :) 

Also, I’m going to Ed Sheeran’s 2nd Nashville show tonight so this will be my only update for today/this weekend. If I have time I’ll post something tomorrow, but it depends on how I feel and getting other things done! :) 

Calming Touch ♡

Based on this request 

It started out slowly, the nightmares only came a couple times a month, but then it was happening every night and the only thing that would make you feel safe was his arms around your waist and his breath on your neck.

Word Count: 2,723
Genre: Fluff. I feel like it’s a drabble but it’s probably not? lmao

Keep reading

Office Hours (M)

Originally posted by suga-com

requested || by the one and only @chimcharms (SURPRISE BIBI ILY)

genre: sinful smut / oral 

characters: Park Jimin

word count: 8853 (IDFK)

CEO!Jimin / Boss!Jimin. Need I say more?

a/n: I’m finally back guys! Woah I haven’t written a full length scenario in years almost a month… Not gonna lie, I seriously thought of naming this Redemption 2.0 AHA >:) I haven’t written smut of any form in SO long, please forgive me if this is terrible!

Keep reading

The First Year. {Elriel}

Warning: Major fluff ahead.

Originally posted by joyeuxno-el

Azriel wasn’t late. Elain was simply early.

She sat on her couch, in which she had bought at a thrift store for thirty bucks because of its vintage floral print, staring at the clock above the fireplace and clicking her wedges against the soft, shag rug. Her studio apartment was small, but nothing beat the view of the city from her floor-length windows. It was all she needed: a bed to sleep on, a fridge to cool her leftovers, and the Velaris skyline greeting her every morning as she sipped her coffee from her ancient couch in Azriel’s oversized t-shirt.

He had asked her, more than once, why she loved to sleep in it so much. He’d left it bunched up in the corner after their first time, leaving later the next day to go home and change for work in the button-down he had worn over the navy-blue v-neck that had a hole under one of the arms, and near the hem. 

It’s so old, he would laugh. I’ve had that since high school. It’s ripped and-

And it’s yours, Elain would argue. It makes me feel like you’re here with me at night, even when you can’t be.

And when I am here? You still wear it.

She would grin, wrapping her arms around his neck. Because I know you think I’m sexy in your clothes.

It was true. He had never denied it.

Now, she was dressed in something far more appropriate for the evening, at least for the start of it. 

Azriel had mentioned the week before that he was preparing a surprise for their one-year anniversary, and then presented her with a gift: a new dress. It was a light mauve, and nearly reached her knees, the thin straps and plunging neckline giving Azriel, and whoever else stopped to admire, the perfect view of her shoulders and chest. 

Elain wasn’t sure why she was nervous, she knew Azriel better than anyone, and he she. Perhaps it was because she had never had a relationship last even a year, and although she was sure Azriel was her forever, the thought was still daunting.

She didn’t want to mess it up. She didn’t want to curse it.

The doorbell rang, causing Elain to jump to her feet, and smooth out her skirt, before rushing to the door. The knob was already twisting, though, and Azriel appeared before her.

He froze, a small smile appearing on his lips once he saw her. “You look beautiful.

”The blood rushed to her cheeks, and she was amazed that he still gave her that feeling.

“Thank you. You do too.”

It was then that she noticed the bags in his hands, and when she gave him a pointed look, his smile only widened. “I told you that I was planning a surprise.” 

He shut the door behind him, and kicked off his sneakers by the welcome mat, and the small, black and white striped kitten that was sleeping on top of it. “You should probably tell Petunia that if she keeps sleeping behind the door, she’s going to get stepped on.”

Elain glanced adoringly at the three-month-old kitten she and Azriel had adopted the month before. “Why don’t you tell her?”

Azriel chuckled as he set the totes on the kitchen counter and began emptying its contents. “We all know Nia does not listen to me. Scratch me? Maybe. Sits outside of the shower meowing at an obnoxious volume until I get out? Absolutely. But, listens? Unfortunately, not.”

Elain giggled as she followed her boyfriend into the kitchen. “A surprise, then?”

“Ah, yes.” He paused, and Elain admired how handsome he looked in his royal-blue button down. He pulled a bouquet of tulips out from inside one of the totes he liked to use at the farmer’s market, and offered them to her with a tentative smile. Once she had bashfully accepted them, and given him a gentle kiss on his cheek, he continued, “I am going to make you dinner. And, if it’s edible, we will eat it.”

Another laugh escaped Elain, as she sought out a vase for her gift. After finding the glass vase that had belonged to her mother, and filling it with water, she placed it in the center of her kitchen table. “That sounds perfect…..However, why the dress, then? Couldn’t I have worn my sweat pants?”

Azriel watched her as she laughed, as she threw her long, dark curls over her shoulder and leaned against the opposite side of the island. “Yes, you could have. You still can, if you’d like. You just never buy anything for yourself. I only wanted you to feel beautiful.”

Elain narrowed her eyes, and wondered how she got so lucky. People, it seemed, rarely found someone that made them feel invincible, and loved, and worthy of something greater than an ordinary life. Azriel gave her that, and loved her for who she was.

He lived to make her feel beautiful.

He blinked, as she continued to stare. “What?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head, as pride and love and pure adoration filled her soul. “Can I help with anything?”

“No,” he said, and pointed his finger at her for emphasis. “You will relax, and let me do the cooking.”

“Fine,” she agreed, not complaining in the slightest. “Az?”

“Yes?” he asked, over his shoulder, as he threw a bunch of spaghetti noodles into a pot filled with water.

“Stove isn’t on.”

He paused. “……I knew that.”

“Mhmmm,” she teased, before throwing off her heels and making herself comfortable on the couch with Petunia.  

After nearly an hour of pots and pans rattling against the counter, and each other, and a few choice curse words from Azriel, he had placed a blanket on the rug in front of her fireplace and set two plates of spaghetti, with a side of garlic bread, gently in the middle. After pouring two glasses of wine, and placing them strategically on the brick of the fireplace, he started a fire.

As he sat down opposite of Elain, and rubbed his hands together in preparation, he said, “The sauce was one of mom’s recipes. Hopefully I remembered it correctly. If not…..Well, we can order Chinese.”

Elain grinned as she took in a mouthful, and closed her eyes at the sweet, savory flavor that coated her tongue. “Mmmmm. Your mother would be proud.”

After a soft crimson brushed along his cheekbones, he dug in. They ate in a comfortable silence, Elain laughing only when Petunia would hiss at Azriel to stop brushing his hand along her thigh.

Before she could remember how they got there, they were lying on the blanket, two bottles of wine down, stomachs full, and sharing memories of their first year together.

Elain glanced up from where she’d laid her head against his chest, and smiled. “When did you realize that you loved me?”

Azriel lifted his brows, a sparkle igniting in his deep, hazel eyes. “The day I ran into you in the hallway, and instead of screaming at me for not paying attention, you busted out laughing because I had jelly from my donut smeared across my cheek.” 

Elain’s eyebrows scrunched together. “That’s the day we met.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “it was. That was the moment that I realized I never wanted to have a day go by without hearing the sound of your laughter.”

Maybe it was the wine, but Elain’s eyes grew misty. “You knew you loved me then?”

“Yes,” he said, again, fully confident. “I knew that I could fall madly in love you with you someday. I knew that you were perfect, in a completely imperfect way, and I could not wait to get to know you. I knew that I wanted, needed, to know you. And, even knowing that then, you have shocked me with how amazing you are, Elain.”

She shook her head, grabbing his chin and pulling it down so that their eyes met. “I love you.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips before pulling her on top of him. “I love you, too.”

And as the sun set behind Velaris’ skyline just outside her windows, and as Azriel ignored the infuriated sounds that came from the kitten as he made love to his girl on the blanket in front of the fireplace, all seemed as close to perfect as life and love could get as year one came to a close, and year two began. 

anonymous asked:

msr 16 or 148?

Dear anon, I ended up using both! It also got long… I’ve been informed the “read more” doesn’t work on mobile so sorry for the insanely long post

16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.” 148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

The first time happens after Donnie Pfaster.

Scully tells Mulder to take her home, please, and without a word he leads her away from the scene, away from the horrors. In the car, he watches her carefully at every turn he makes. They arrive at the motel in silence and she knows this isn’t home, and she knows they won’t get to go home tonight, but she lets him take him inside his room.

“You can have the bed. I'll…” He never finishes his sentence; not that Scully is listening to him anyway. She curls on the bed, tries to make herself so small, so tiny that no one can ever find her here. She winces when the abrasion on her chin comes in contact with the oh so soft pillow. Her eyes close, but the tears find a way through, tainting the white pillowcase.

“Scully, I know you don’t want - how about you take a shower? Maybe I could have a doctor come here and-

“No. Not tonight, Mulder. I promise I’ll get checked out tomorrow. I promise. I’m fine.” She doesn’t lift her head, refuses to look at him; she is done with him pitying her. All she wants now, all she needs, is sleep.

“Shower?” His voice is closer now, but she can’t tell where he is; he is close, and she wants him to be close, as long as she doesn’t have to look directly at him. With her eyes closed, she can almost feel his arms around her still. His hands on her, just holding her to him, being there for her. But he wasn’t there before. Before. The water. In the bathtub.

“No shower.”

“All right.” His voice is a soft sound; so gentle that she is not sure she’s still awake. Silence fills the room and she listens to her own heartbeat, strong and certain; it’s everything she doesn’t feel right now. There’s another sound chiming in; Mulder. A soft rustling tells her that he’s trying to get comfortable somewhere around here. She is not going to ask him to join her in bed. Not this time. So she listens to his tiny noises creating a lullaby that rocks her gently into sleep.

The dream explodes in vivid colors, blinding her, gagging her.

“Breathe, Scully.”

The words reach her, somewhere, but she can’t get away. She’s running, she’s trying, but the hands are around her throat; they’re grabbing at her, closing in around her throat, choking her, and she can’t even scream.

“Just breathe.”

She takes a deep breath and the hands disappear. Her feet stop moving; no more running. Half-conscious, Scully realizes this is a dream. None of this is real. Not the hands around her throat, not the voice. Mulder, she thinks. Even in my dreams, he is right here by my side.

“That’s right, Scully. Just keep breathing.” The voice sounds so real that she almost wonders. Almost. She feels soft warm lips on her cheek, gently kissing her, and she breathes. She just breathes in and out. The lips descend again, on her lips this time, and now she knows this has to be a dream. It has to be.

“Just keep breathing. I’ll be here.”

When it happens again, Scully has already convinced herself that the first time was a dream. The days after the Donnie Pfaster case are hazy at best and the memory of him, of what happened or didn’t happen, in the motel room are pushed aside when Melissa is killed.

Scully wants to go home, just go home, and they won’t let her. Her apartment is still a crime scene. But she can’t face her mother, who pleads with her daughter to leave her alone, please Dana, and Mulder won’t let her go to a hotel. Alone. Without a word she sits in his car and when he gets in it, he stares at her. No words leave his mouth as his eyes plead with her loudly to please, please look at him. She doesn’t.

The car makes a clicking noise, sounds as tired as Scully feels. Any other day she might have told him to have it checked out. Not tonight. Tonight there is nothing to say. Mulder’s hand lands on the small of her back, some things refusing to ever be affected by tragedy, and leads her down the hall to his apartment. She slips through the door before him and settles herself on his couch. The leather, smelling of him, feels familiar and she closes her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath.

Mulder lingers between the rooms for a moment, decides to leave the lights off, and finally joins her on the couch.

“You should have let me go to a hotel,” Scully says and her voice sounds hollow, “There’s no space for two people here.”

“You take the couch,” Mulder gets up again, takes off his jacket, and sits at his desk, “I’m not tired.”

“Mulder, you’re still in recovery and-”

“No, Scully. I’m fine,” he almost spits the words out and she startles, “You take the couch, you sleep. I’ll be fine. I have a bedroom, you know.” She doesn’t know and in the dim light, she can’t tell if he’s lying. He probably is and maybe she should care. She just doesn’t.

Scully takes the neatly folded blanket from the back of the couch and wraps it around her. She turns away from Mulder, facing the wall, but feels him all around her. He’s in the leather, in the blanket and he’s keeping her safe; despite her not wanting him to. Scully closes her eyes tentatively; what is she going to see there in the darkness of her own thoughts? But it’s just blackness, so she leaves them shut and waits for sleep to take her.

When they were little girls Melissa taught her to even out her breathing so it seemed like she was asleep when she wasn’t. Back then it came in handy when their parents checked on them late at night. They’d pretend to be asleep and as soon as the air was clear, they could go back to whispering secrets or reading. As they grew older, Melissa stopped doing it. Instead, she would stare their parents straight in the eye, explaining that she was old enough to stay up. Little Dana was never brave enough.

And she isn’t brave enough today either.

She evens out her breath, tears falling silently, remembering a sister she will never see again. Mulder’s chair squeaks and then nothing; afraid he might have woken her up again, he waits. Scully wills herself to keep breathing deeply. It works. She feels Mulder move, and then he’s there. Leaning over her. She can do this, she reminds herself. If he knows that she’s only pretending, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he tightens the blanket around her. He still hovers over her, as if trying to decide on something. Then he leans down, kisses her temple, her nose and finally his lips graze hers. There’s a faint memory; how can she remember the feel of his mouth when he’s never kissed her before? Just as quickly, he is gone again. In the distance a door clicks.

There’s no way she can pretend this is just a dream.

They never talk about it, of course. Both have signed this unwritten agreement that prevents them from mentioning any of this. Lingering hugs are shoved aside just like almost kisses; just a spur of the moment thing. Nothing to see here, no, this never happened.  

Mulder visits her in the hospital after she points a gun on him, thinking he was in cohorts with the Cancerman. It’s long after visiting hours, but to Mulder that’s no reason to stay away. Scully wakes almost, expecting a nurse, but her eyes immediately close again when she sees him. He stands next to her and gently brushes a strand of stray hair away. Scully knows she should say something, stop this. But the truth is she craves his kiss; craves his touch on her. The moment stretches on and on and on. Scully feels sleep tug at her heavily and finally it wins out, captures her. She dreams of Mulder kissing her softly. In the morning she can’t recall if he ever did, or if he just made sure she was safe.

Scully slips in and out of sleep without control, without any agenda. Her body fights the aggressive invader and it is getting weaker, the illness taking the upper hand. She doesn’t expect Mulder to be in her room in the middle of the night. Crying. He’s crying and her heart, what is left of it, is breaking for him. With him. Scully wants to take his hand in hers and tell him it will be all right. There is no strength left in her and she falls asleep to the sound of his quiet, lonely sobs. She knows he kisses her; she feels it in her soul, feels how it kindles her flame. Even if only for a short moment.

Mulder kisses her cheek one night when she falls asleep on his couch after her vacation to Maine. Alone. Not a vacation either. She’s exhausted, but she’s missed Mulder (she doesn’t tell him that) and she so she lets him order take out. He tells her about possessed dolls and how he can find books about this phenomenon if she’s interested. All she’s interested in right now is being here with him, close to him. His words follow her into her dream for a while before it all gets quiet.

“I missed you.” Dream or reality. A kiss on the cheek. One day, she knows, this will have to end. Not tonight, though, as sleep carries her away again.

Mulder kisses her neck when they’re stuck sharing a bed in Kroner, Kansas. They’re posing as a married couple in Arcadia, California and Mulder sneaks into her bedroom, kissing her knuckles; caressing them one by one with his lips. By the time Christmas comes around, she thinks they might be ready. She thinks this might be it. They almost kill each other, so maybe not. Not quite yet.

It happens in New York.

She should be dead. People keep telling her that she should not be alive and she nods, staring into the other direction. The implications too heavy to face here, now. Mulder flies out to visit her (another reminder how close she’s gotten, once again) and hardly ever leaves her bedside.

“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.” They’re sharing her jello, because Mulder looks like he hasn’t eaten (or slept) in days and Scully is beginning to get sick of it already.

“I can kick his ass myself, thank you.”

“Not right now you can’t. I’ll do it, Scully. Just say the word.”

He calls her mother for her, explains everything. When she wakes up he’s staring at her, his eyes heavy with worry, but also with love. She smiles back at him, silently thanking him for being there. For doing it all for her.

He makes his move the third night she’s there. The nurses are well acquainted with him now; they know they can tell him to leave, but he’ll be back as soon as they turn their backs on him. So they no longer try and just greet him, smile even. Mulder is, after all, quite charming if he wants to be. Scully, too, is used to him being there day and night. She tells him to get some sleep from time to time, just leave her alone for a while, but he is adamant about staying.

“You only get into trouble when I’m not around.”

It’s late when Scully feels tiredness wash over her. She yawns and Mulder looks up from the book he’s reading.

“Do you want me to turn off the lights?”

“No, I don’t mind. Good night, Mulder.”

“Good night, Scully.”

For a while, he reads. Scully hears him turn pages every once in a while. She’s tired, but she just can’t sleep. She’s never been a good patient, and all she wants is to go home and sleep in her own bed. Her thoughts distract her for a moment. The book is closed softly and something about this feels different than all the other times. Mulder appears beside her, his body radiating warmth, and when he leans down she can smell his scent. So much Mulder. He kisses her eyelids softly and then brushes her lips. She almost responds; almost opens her mouth to him. But before she can react at all, he is leaving again, and this time it’s not enough.

“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

She hears his sharp intake of breath. Scully sits up and bed and watches him, frozen to the spot at the end of her bed. His shoulders slump and he shoots her a lopsided grin that turns into a sad smile.

“You never let me take care of you when you’re awake.”

“You never asked.”

“Are you sure, Scully? All those times you threw your ‘I’m fine’ line at me. I know you don’t want me to see you as weak. Scully, I’ve never considered you weak. Not once. And I never will. You’re the strongest person I know. I just wish sometimes… that you’d let me be there for you. I never planned to kiss you like this. Wait, you knew about this?”

“I might have been awake once or twice.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mulder sits down on her bed carefully. She takes her hand in his, feeling confident now.

“I didn’t want you to stop.” She admits, her eyes meeting his.

“So we could have been doing this for real?” His grin is back and now she’s wearing a matching one.

“There’s still time.”

“Scully, can I kiss you?”

“You never asked before.” She tells him, leaning forward slightly and taking the decision from him. She knows the feeling of his soft lips already; it’s nothing compared to the feel of his tongue sliding into her mouth, meeting hers for the first time.

If this is a dream, she doesn’t want to wake up ever again.

Yoongi Scenario: You Make Me Real.

Request: Hey :) I’d like to request a scenario with ghost Yoongi (got inspired by the photoshoot he had with RapMon in Chicago :B) in wich reader (who can see spirits since forever) meets him when she moves to a new house. At first she thinks he’s just a creepy neighbour who spies her, but then she realizes he was a ghost without memories of his past life. You can go from here n.n please make it fluffy ❤

Genre: Fluff / Drama.


It was after all the moving and unpacking was done that you saw him. For the most part of the day you had felt the hairs on the back of your neck raise with that particular feeling, you were being watched. 

You could always know when you were, and this new house was certainly giving you mixed vibes. It was beautiful and classic, but it was also old, with a lot of details, more often than not a lot of details meant a lot of secrets. For someone who could see ghosts you were always aware of such things, you could sense it somehow, you knew in this house there was something off.

Arranging two frame pictures on the wall of you and your friends back in your old town you saw something reflect on the glass. A chill went down your neck and you turned to see there was no one there. Shaking your head you thought you must be anticipating the whole thing, sometimes you did that so ghosts wouldn’t startle you that much, although you had to admit a lot of them were pretty creepy.

You stared at the frames, thinking that you were already missing your friends, thinking if whataspp was enough to keep you close, or to help with it. Then you felt it again only that this time your heart was racing and you were flicking your gaze around the room trying to spot who was watching you.

-No need to be shy, ok? I will not cast you out if that’s what you are afraid- you said out loud for the ghost to hear. Through time you had learned most of them were afraid of being set aside of their own space, it was almost as big as the desire most of them felt to transcend. -It’s all ok, I’m not a threat-

There was no answer so you sighed and then from the corner of your eyes you thought you saw something moving, only that this time it was outside your house. You went to the window and there he was, not a ghost, but a guy standing on the sidewalk. Maybe a neighbor? A creepy one that was, and here you were thinking ill of the dead. The living could be just or even more mortifying. He was young around your age, blond almost white hair and very pale skin, you couldn’t tell that much about his features, he seemed handsome but with the serious almost angry expression you couldn’t say he was. Either way seeing him gave you even more chills than the ghost that was around your room.

You thought of your new neighbor as weird but then something else happened and it was then when you decided he was plain creepy.

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