i should leave you

anonymous asked:

What do you think of this new "cringe culture is mean, stop making fun of (demographic tumblr worships)" trend?

I think as a general rule you should leave people minding their own business alone even if they’re really embarrassing, but it’s totally fine to mock people who start shit then expect the people they took shots at not to fire back

I leave you with a song I just decided is totally a Reyder song:


Codes - Perish


Oh no, I should be leaving or at least believing
I believe that I want to believe in something
Oh no, I should leave you, but instead I can’t leave you alone
Are we talking in love
Or just talking in code?

Don’t tell me ‘bout my heart,
[I know] it beats out of time
But I’ll give you a head start on decoding this head of mine
I said peace to my peace of mind
When I made peace with that fact that I
Am going to love you till the day I die
Then I’ll rest in pieces, pieces of you and I

Oh no, don’t think that I haven’t already figured you out
Your head’s become my house
Boy you’re talking so loud, but ain’t opened your mouth
Oh no, I can’t shake off this chip on my shoulder
Guess that I’m getting older
But if you come closer, I’ll surrender composure
Oh no, I should leave you, but instead I can’t leave you alone
Are we talking in love
Or just talking in code?

Hey, you all! Since last week, I have been thinking that perhaps the content of @llljacobfrye4lifelll has been rather very…repetitive and perhaps not everyone’s cup of tea so I was interested in bringing some changes to this blog to maintain it clean and entertaining for you all, my followers. So I ask this of you,
-Is the blog okay?
-Should I leave it as it is?
-Do you like all I post?
-Should I post more often?
-What should I take off?
-What should I add?
LEAVE ME REPLIES ONLY!
Just a heads up, I can work on edits, drawings, and wallpapers for the time being but your opinion to me means a lot so do let me know what can I do to make YOU like this blog better b/c thx to you all I have gotten this far and I will see all I can do make any adjustments! 😄
REBLOG THIS POST! THX! 😊
@thepandadrawer, @hoodedcanine, @nacre-spring, @thank-god-its-fryeday, @stories-of-an-assassin, and to all other JF lovers!

I’m already in love with this game. It hits real hard as a young adult. Mae is a fantastic protagonist.

december 31st, 2015, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time. you were talking to a girl and i could tell that you were capturing her with every syllable that left your mouth. and i knew why: you were beautiful and bright, and i was drawn to you even then, like the planets are drawn to the sun.

december 31st, 2015, 11:58 pm: we met standing in line for the bathroom. you introduced yourself, and asked for my name, smiling when i gave it. “lovely,” you murmured, and repeated it a few more times, rolling the letters around in your mouth like a new food.

january 1st, 2016, 12:05 am: i could still feel you on me, your lips, minutes, hours, months later. the clock had struck midnight and you just grabbed me, didn’t ask if it was okay until it was over. you were laughing, brushing it off, all teeth and well-kissed lips, but i knew i saw you blushing. 

january 21st, 2016, 1:12 pm: you got my number through the mutual friend that threw the party. i still don’t know how you got my address. i didn’t remember telling you. you couldn’t tell me, either.

february 14th, 2016, 9:12 pm: you took me out to dinner and bought me chocolate and roses. it was all so cliche, and i loved every second of it. when you kissed me good night, i swore i could feel the rest of my life, pressed right up against my lips.

february 26th, 2016, 11:33 pm: we made it official. i remember how you asked me, how shy you got, like you didn’t know what the answer would be.

march 17th, 2016, 5:43 pm: we spent the day at the saint patrick’s day parade, and you filled yourself with beer and kissed me hard against the bar bathroom door. i drove you home and that was the first time you told me you loved me.

march 18th, 2016, 9:24 am: you called me and told me you loved me again. “i want to make sure that you know i still mean it when i’m sober,” you said.

march 24th, 2016, 1:09 pm: i met your parents at easter brunch. you had demanded i come with you, and i was glad i did. your mother was kind and beautiful, and your father was warm and handsome, just like i knew they’d be. after we’d eaten, your mother got me alone. “he’s never brought a girl home before,” she told me, “normally he isn’t very open about who he’s dating. but you, you’re different. don’t read into this, but i think he may really think you’re special.”

april 12th, 2016, 8:31 pm: you saw me naked for the first time, and you kissed every inch of my skin. i’d never felt that much love from anybody before that night, and i haven’t since. not even you could replicate those few hours.

may 5th, 2016, 4:57 pm: we fought for the first time. i ran into my ex at the grocery store and wanted to chat for a few minutes. you didn’t. when we got in the car, you told me that if i was still in love with somebody else i could just leave, and i told you that you should trust me and not be so insecure about our relationship. we screamed the whole way home and you slammed the car door when i dropped you off. i almost crashed three times on the drive home.

may 6th, 2016, 8:03 am: you came by with flowers and breakfast. “I’m sorry,” you told me, “you just mean so much to me, and the thought of you ever being anyone else’s makes me sick.” i smiled, “but you don’t have to worry about that now. i’m yours.”

june 16th, 2016, 10:51 pm: for my birthday you took me out to dinner and gave me a beautiful necklace with a silver chain and pearl pendant. we drank expensive wine and stumbled back to my place and fucked. i had never been fucked before, not like this. i woke up the next morning with bite marks on my neck and hickeys all the way down my stomach, but you were gone. “had to run,” you’d written on a post it note, “i love you.”

june 18th, 2016, 2: 41 pm: i hadn’t seen you since my birthday and you weren’t picking up when i’d call.

june 19th, 2016, 3:13 am: “ had to run,” the post it note had said. maybe you were running from me. i couldn’t tell if it was the 3 am darkness talking or the part of me that already knew.

july 1st, 2016, 4:01 am: i looked over at you, sleeping in the darkness beside me. when we were together, things felt perfectly normal. but now, i could feel the shifts. “are we falling apart?” i whispered to you, and although i hadn’t expected an answer, the silence broke my heart all the same.

july 4th, 2016, 6:47 pm: we were at a barbecue and i saw you across the crowd, talking to a girl. i saw the way she was drinking up every word that escaped from between your lips, and that’s when i knew. that’s when i knew you weren’t mine anymore.
july 21st, 2016, 7:08 pm: i brought it up to you. “i think we’re starting to grow apart,” i said, “there’s a distance between us that wasn’t here before.” you reassured me that it was all in my head, but i didn’t hear it in your voice. i didn’t see it in your eyes. you knew it was there, too, but unlike me, you weren’t trying to do anything to stop it.

august 10th, 2016, 11:37 pm: i lay awake and thought about what your mother said, all these months later. “don’t read into this.” but of course i did. i couldn’t help myself. fuck, i loved you so much.
august 15th, 2016, 1:12 pm: you invited me over and i discovered that the key you’d given me no longer worked. “i had the locks changed,” you said, “i’ll get you a new one.” it was a lie, and i knew it. you didn’t get me a new key.

september 8th, 2016, 2:00 pm: i caught you cheating. in a desperate attempt to revive the romance we’d had at the beginning of our relationship, i bought dinner and brought it to your place. when you finally opened the door, i saw it written all over your face; the way your eyes widened, the way your jaw dropped, the way your cheeks drained of color. i heard it in the stammer of your voice, the sharp intake of your breath, the grinding of your teeth. when the girl walked up behind you, half naked, asking who it was at the door, i already knew. “how could you?” i whispered, and you just opened and closed your mouth. the girl pieced it together and started screaming. she hadn’t known. i left the food at the doorstep.

september 10th, 2016, 1:49 am: you never called after that, never came by, never reached out, but it wasn’t like we’d needed to confirm anything. i knew it was over, but it took every ounce of willpower i had not to go back to your place and find out why, why everything.

september 27th, 2016, 6:20 pm: i kept finding myself huddled in a ball; in my bedroom, in my kitchen, in my shower. not crying, or yelling. just huddled, clutching my body close to myself, staring. still not understanding.

october 31st 2016, 9:01 pm: i spent halloween haunted by the ghost of you. your face was around every corner. i could still feel your touch trickling down my spine. that night, i lost it. the anger surged through the sadness and bubbled to the surface. i screamed until my throat was raw, screamed at nothing, about nothing, for no reason other than i was too full.

november 10th, 2016, 2:17 am: you called me when you were drunk and i answered. i listened to you ramble, vomiting up apology after apology. near the end, you told me you loved me. “call me tomorrow when you’re sober if you still love me,” i said.  you didn’t. 

november 25th, 2016, 7:15 pm: i went out on a date with somebody new. they didn’t pull me in like you did, but for a few hours, i forgot about you and i felt okay. i drank myself to sleep that night so i wouldn’t have to think about you. the next morning, the hangover hurt more than you did. it was a start.

december 24th, 2016, 8:12 pm: i was spending christmas with my family, and i was doing great until my aunt asked about you. i told her you cheated, but i was doing okay, and then i excused myself and threw up the appetizers into the toilet. i called you then, and when you picked up, i let out a sob. “you ruined me, you fuck,” i croaked, “and you can’t even apologize. not when you’re sober, at least.” there were a few seconds of silence, and then you hung up. i still hope that it ruined your christmas.

december 31st, 2016, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time in months across the crowd. it made me sick to know that even after all that had happened, you were still the most beautiful person in the room to me.

december 31st, 2016, 11:55 pm: you found me in the kitchen. “i wanted to tell you i’m sorry,” you yelled over the music, “and i miss you.” and in those final moments of the year, i thought about it. i thought about letting you back in. the countdown started, and you moved closer to me. and i.. i pushed you away. i turned away from you and said, “no. i can’t.” and i walked out of the room.

january 1st, 2017, 12:05 am: i have forgotten how you felt against me, your lips. and for the first time, i am finally okay with that.

—  a year in review -c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)
2

a soft and beautiful man and the sharp asshole that lives in his house

You know, whenever I try to walk away from you, it feels like I’m walking away from the rightest wrong thing there ever was. We’re like the sea and the shore, darling: destined to forever be entwined, but never really together. For you are the waves that will continue to embrace me, and yet I know that you will always destroy my little sandcastles, all the same. You’ll keep running, you’ll keep hurting, you’ll keep betraying my

We often hear that age-old cliché: “How can something so wrong feel so right?” I can’t answer that. All I know is that there are a million reasons why I should leave you, and yet I never could. Because I’ve never needed a single reason to love you. I just do.

—  highfalutinman  - Unspoken Conversations
2

He can’t be edgy all the time though, right..? 

the-word-weaver-of-the-faeries  asked:

“i just want to help you relax.” Cassian and Elain?

concept subconsciously stolen (with permission) from @pterodactylichexameter‘s nessian masterpiece. 

Cassian, lounging idly on a chair in front of the fire in the main lounge area of the House of Wind, yelps in sudden shock as he feels something cold press against his wings. 

After the…incident at Hybern instinct has him tucking them tight against his body, crouching into a defensive position, whirling to find- Elain. Elain tutting and frowning at him as she nudges him back, with surprising strength, to sit on the couch, easily overbalancing while he’s caught off guard with the sheer shock of finding her there. 

“Look at the mess you’ve made,” she huffs as she idly hooks a finger underneath the talon at the crest of his wing and tugs, opening it up as casually as though it’s a lady’s parasol. 

“Elain-” he croaks, not entirely sure how or why this is happening, just knowing he needs to stop it before things get…decidedly uncomfortable for them both. 

“Hush,” Elain cautions him, the soft word somehow so subtly threatening he finds himself obeying it without thought. “It needs to be done,” she says firmly, another dollop of the cold…something splattering against his open wing. “There’s no use being a baby about it.” 

With that she sets to rubbing what he now recognises as the salve the healers have provided for his still raw and tender wings in with gentle, careful circular motions that have him melting into the couch. Oh Cauldron fuck me sideways, thinks with a groan. This is not the way he pictured leaving this world for whatever’s beyond. Mostly that image involves Nesta and a fair amount of lube. It does not involve him imploding as he tries to contain himself and not destroy Elain’s innocence. Whether he succeeds and the resulting stroke kills him, or he fails and Nesta slaughters him the outcome is depressingly similar. 

“Elain, really,” he begins hoarsely, shifting before her and trying to politely squirm out of her reach. “You don’t have to do this, honestly, I’ll just get-” 

“There’s no-one else here,” Elain tells him brightly, “They’re all…Away somewhere.” She says vaguely, voice trailing off as though she’s going to tell him where they all are, exactly, and why none of them are sparing him this horrible fate, then she shrugs and decides against it, returning to his wings instead. Cassian clenches a hand into a fist and tries to force himself to resist but Cauldron boil him, she’s entirely too good at this. 

“But you’ve been so good to me, Cassian,” she goes on, her voice so earnest and sweet that he can’t bring himself to tell her what a terrible mistake she’s made. It’ll just have to be something they laugh about a century on at parties…Or a secret that he takes to his grave for fear of Nesta. More likely the latter. “I just want to help you relax! This salve is very important for your wings healing properly…”

She continues babbling on, listing the various ways it’s good for his health, missing the biggest reason that it’s very much not. Cauldron boil him, how can no-one have told her about Illyrian wings and how sensitive they are? No…No he understands. How could anyone destroy sweet, gentle Elain’s innocence that way? Impossible. Impossible for him, too, even as he feels his cock starting to respond to her attentions. 

Cassian becomes aware, dimly, in the back of his mind still connected to this unfortunate reality, not imagining what the afterworld looks like, that Elain has stopped prattling. “Are you alright, Cassian?” She asks, concerned, peering at him over his shoulder. 

“Fine!” he yelps, not particularly needing that part of his anatomy to give him away at the moment when he’s trying so hard not to ruin her. It’ll be fine. He can just…Just get through this, it won’t take long, the salve will be on his wings, her innocence will remain intact, and he’ll have to go and spend some quality time alone in the shower with the water so cold ice crystals are practically forming in it. 

“Alright, just, tell me if it hurts, okay?” she tells him, still sounding worried, bless her. 

Then she moves on to the other wing. Cassian beings praying to the Cauldron, the Mother, whatever else might be listening, to give him strength. 

Elain, apparently considering it her duty to apply the salve to his wings and distract him from what she seems to think is a rather harrowing process (it is, just not for the reasons she assumes) and so she starts talking about Nesta. Thoughts of her don’t entirely help matters, not least because he starts picturing her hands on his wings, applying his daily salve…Images of her hands on other places intrude unhelpfully as well. 

He clears his throat pointedly, “Why don’t we- Why don’t we talk about something else, Elain?” he rasps out. 

“Oh dear,” she says, and he can picture that sweet little face falling, her hands pausing on his wings. He isn’t sure if that’s a mercy, giving him some recovery time, or curse, prolonging his torment. “Are the two of you fighting again?” she asks sadly. 

“Mm, something like that,” he mutters noncommittally. 

Fighting. Fucking. Same difference, really. 

“Is that why she left with Mor this morning?” Elain asks conspiratorially, “So that she wouldn’t have to do this for you?” She taps gently on his wing  to indicate her meaning and Cassian wonders how it’s possibly for someone to go through so much of life so utterly oblivious to this aspect of it. 

“I doubt that,” he says sardonically, before he can stop himself. Fortunately, Elain misses the little flick of sarcasm on the end of his words and simply returns to her task. 

Dutifully she switches the topic away from Nesta and starts chattering about her garden instead. Cassian is very fond of Elain, and very fond of the garden she’s impulsively started on top of the House of Wind but Cauldron boil him…Her talk about daisies and dandelions and how she’s amazed Mor hasn’t learned the difference between weeds and flowers, which is the reason she’s now banned from said garden, really isn’t distracting enough to take his mind off his current predicament. 

Finally, he can’t take it anymore, she’s so close, but unfortunately so is he, and he can’t stop himself from biting out roughly, “Elain, stop, please.” 

She does at once, nearly dropping the little tub of salve in her surprise at his sudden outburst. “But I’m nearly finished-” So am I- “You can’t hold on just a little-” she breaks off, apparently noticing him trembling and gasps, hurrying around to the front of the sofa, her mouth covered by her hands. “Cassian, I’m sorry!” she gushes, “I didn’t realise it was hurting so badly. Nesta does this for you every morning and, well, she sometimes isn’t the gentlest person in the world-” No, she’s not, and Cass loves every second of that…Not that he’ll tell Elain. Having her think she might have hurt him isn’t ideal but..It’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative. And so he lets her babble to her heart’s content until- “I just wanted to- Oh.” 

Cassian makes himself take a little more notice of her then and realises that her eyes have managed to fix between his legs, wide and shocked. Despite his best efforts at hiding it, there’s really no question that she’s finally noticed the full effects of her good deed. 

Her hands fall slowly away from her mouth and he really does wish she’d stop staring. Then she meets his eyes instead and he decides he’d much rather have them returned to where they were, thank you. “Mor,” she swallows and continues, sounding a little faint, “Mor told me Illyrian wings were sensitive but I…I thought. Oh, Cauldron.” 

Clearing his throat and trying to maintain a little dignity, which seems to dictate that he remain seated for the time being, Cassian says, “It’s really not a problem, Elain, you didn’t know, you were just trying to help.” 

“Even so, I, I-” she’s slowly flushing a deeper and deeper shade of red and Cassian thinks that if that continues he might have to summon a healer to come and check on her. “Is there anything….I can do to…help?” she asks delicately. 

Cassian can’t help the bark of laughter that tears out of him. She’s just so earnest and sweet in wanting to assist him with his current predicament. He does force himself to bite his tongue and stop himself winking at her and making some comment loaded with innuendo, which he would to anyone else that managed to find themselves in this current situation. Not Elain though. 

For her he just reaches out and gently pats her hand, eyes twinkling, “I’m sure I’ll be alright,” he tells her with a faint smirk, “Maybe just…Give me a few minutes?” 

“Of course,” Elain yelps, abandoning the salve on the table in front of him as she makes, what’s clearly a very welcome retreat across the room. 

He leans forward and picks up the glass of water he hadn’t dared touch while she’d been dutifully rubbing salve into his wings and takes a small sip, settling back to wait for himself to calm down, glad that the House is empty save him and Elain. 

At the doorway however, she pauses. He’s about to turn around and ask her what the matter is but then Elain says, an oddly sly note in her voice, “So…This is why Nesta helps you with your salve every morning.” 

Cassian chokes on his water. 

I worked as a cinematographer for five years. An old friend asked me to “help” him for a few days with a music video he was directing. On the first day of filming, he revealed that: a) I was the only person he hired, b) he doesn’t own any cameras, and c) he has no knowledge of operating any filmmaking cameras. 

During the filming, he kept brushing off my advice and gave me vague instructions. A few hours later, we took a break.

Me: Do you have anything to eat?

Client: No, I’m not really hungry. Were you working on an empty stomach all along? Dude, you should learn to carry your own snacks. I do that all the time. It’d be good for you.

We were filming at a remote cabin by the lake with no cell reception, so I couldn’t get food. He gave me some of his snacks and told me I eat a lot. After he kept me working much longer than he promised, I told him that I need to leave and pick up the filming the next day. 

Client: You have to go now? I guess that’s fine. But you don’t need your camera until tomorrow, right? You should leave it here. I want to walk around and experiment how my locations will look. I also need to practice filming.

Me: No, I have to take it with me.

Client: Okay, fine. Wow, I guess you’re really attached to your camera! 

He had a way of suggesting my needs were personal faults. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I asked to be paid, and he responded “I guess some people are just caught in the rat race, man!”

Heaven In This Bed

Bitty gasps when he sees it.

It’s loud enough that Jack drops Bitty’s overnight bag at his feet.

“This bed,” Bitty says and Jack scoffs.

“You scared me. I thought it was something serious.”

Bitty twists towards him from where he’s standing at the end of the bed.

“It is. I am serious about this bed,” he says before he starfishes across the mattress and buries his head in the pillows. “It’s heaven.”

“It’s alright.”

“Alright?” Bitty looks at him through one eye and Jack shrugs.

He bought the first one he tired. It was comfortable and the salesman said it would be good for his back. He didn’t give it much thought.

“This is the most comfortable bed I have ever been in. Certainly the biggest.”

He stretches his arms out to his sides. They don’t quite reach the edge but the movement does pull his shirt tight across his shoulders and Jack is suddenly a lot more interested in this.

Bitty sighs happily then rolls over into his back and looks up at Jack who’s standing between his feet.

“Should I leave you and the bed alone?”

Bitty flexes his wrists then arches his back and sits up. He hooks his fingers in the belt loops of Jack’s jeans and tugs.

“Not alone.”

It’s one more tug and Jack carefully topples over and onto his boyfriend.

Bitty kisses him and slips his hands beneath Jack’s t-shirt.

Jack’s not expecting it when Bitty hooks a leg over his thigh and flips them. He straddles his hips and smiles down at him.

“We couldn’t do that in my bed at the Haus. You would’ve fallen right out,” he says and when Jack rolls his eyes Bitty presses down harder with his hands on his shoulders. “How can you be so blasé about this bed?”

“I don’t know.” He runs his hands up Bitty’s thighs and holds them tight around his hips then drags them back down again. “I like it a lot more now.”

Bitty grins down at him and dips in for another kiss.

[muffled ‘dream weaver’ playing in the background]

I tore myself out of my own mother’s womb.
There was no other way to arrive in this world.
A terrified midwife named me Monster
and left me in the pine woods with only the moon.
My mother’s blood dripped from my treed head.

In a dream my mother came to me and said
if I was to survive
I must find joy within my own wild self.

When I awoke I was alone in solitude’s blue woods.

          *  *  *

A woman found me and took me to her mountain home
high at the end of an abandoned logging road.
We spent long winter evenings by the fire;
I sat at the hearth as she read aloud myths of the Greeks
while the woodstove roared behind me.
She sometimes paused to watch the wall of shadows
cast by my antlers. The shadows danced
across the entire room like an oak’s wind-shaken branches.

          *  *  *

The woman was worried when I would not wear dresses.
I walked naked through the woods.
She hung the wash from my head
on hot summer days when I sat in the sun to read.
The woman grew worried when I would not shed
my crown with the seasons as the whitetails did.
“But I am not a whitetail,” I said.

          *  *  *

When I became a woman
in the summer of my fifteenth year,
I found myself
suddenly changed in the mirror.
My many-pronged crown had grown
into a wildness all its own;
highly stylized, the bright
anarchic antlers were majestic to my eye.

The woman saw me and smiled. “What you are I cannot say,
but nature has created you.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

When night came it brought a full moon.
I walked through the woods to the lake
and knelt in the cool grass on its bank.
I saw my reflection on the water,
I touched my face.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

—  the girl with antlers, ansel elkins

I’m sorry if I am not shouting with excitement over things right now.

Louis’ team is doing nothing to promote him. Yayyyy! I’m so happy. Woo-hoo!

Harry’s team is doing nothing at all. Woo-hooo! This is the best! Yip-yip!

Oh look another stunt to go along with all the other stunts. HELL YEAH! I AM LIVING! THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS!

Better? 

If I complain, I obviously hate Harry and Louis. Right?! It has nothing to do with the fact that I actually adore them and want what is best for them. Nope not at all.

I was reading this great fic by @aroaceteddy and I was very inspired so I just had to draw something for it!! 

Also I 100% accept Evan getting Connor’s signature on his cast as a tattoo as cannon now