i should just shut up and watch this right

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.

“it’s for children, what are you expecting?? stop criticizing it!!”

yeah, you’re right. my bad. because children obviously can’t be non-white, children obviously can’t be anything other than straight, children obviously can’t be victims of abuse or be mentally ill, children obviously can’t be trans, children obviously can’t be fat. we don’t want children to see themselves portrayed positively in the media because who knows what that’ll do to their self-worth am i right?? we’re all greedy sjws who want all the representation tailored for us and only us. you’re right we should all just shut up  

What The Family Doesn’t Know

Pairing: Jason Todd X Reader + Batfam

Words: 825+

Request:  Could you write a story where Jason and his S/O live together but the S/O hasn’t met the batfamily (they don’t know about the S/O) and one day the batboys come over to discuss something with Jason but he’s asleep and the S/O is up and Jason wakes up to all of them talking and having fun

Warnings: light cussing?

You and Jason had been together for a year and a half. You had been living together for around six months. Over that year and a half, you had yet to meet any of Jason’s family. This wasn’t because Jason didn’t want you to, but because you didn’t want to. The Wayne’s were pretty much royalty in Gotham, so you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t live up to the picture everyone had of someone who would be dating a Wayne. Although you had never met the others, Jason has told you enough stories that you felt like you knew them quite well.

Jason had gotten back later than normal last night, meaning you were the only one up at the moment. You were reading one of your favorite books when there was a couple of rasps at your apartment door. Placing the book on the table, you went to open the door. Three boys, that you recognized as Jason’s brothers, were on the other side of the door. You could see them trying to figure out who you were, but before you could say anything, Damian spoke.

“You must be one of Jason’s many nighttime companions.”

Dick quickly nudged the youngest boy, signaling him to shut up. Damian just looked at him with an unamused look.

“I apologize on his behalf,” Dick spoke after he finished glaring at the boy.

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anonymous asked:

Since i wasn't feeling good today, I had a thought.. What IF one of the children gets sick ? Like imagine Aizawa trying to separete the sick one from the healty ones and then getting a panic attack when another gets ill. Jest imagine(And can i have a hug ? Please?)

Aaaah, I’m so sorry to hear that, anon! First of all, have the biggest hug I can offer!

Then, if you’re looking for “The-children-are-sick-and-Aizawa-cares-a-whole-lot”-fics, then there is this wonderful piece of fiction that izuqu wrote some time ago right here: 

Click the link

Just in case you need more of that cuteness.

And now, here we go!

(It’s slightly rushed, I only have a bit more than half an hour break, so I’m sorry if the quality lacks a bit! *bows*)

_____________________________________________________________

It had started off with a sneeze, loud and surprising.

Aizawa blinked one eye open almost instantly, shifting slightly where he was lying on the ground, wrapped in his sleeping bag, to gaze over at the living room couch. There, Uraraka was taking a tissue from Tsuyu with a sniffled “Thanks”, tooting into it.

“Uraraka-san, are you alright?” Iida asked, immediately at the girl’s side before Aizawa could even move to stand up.

“I’m fine, I’m fine! Just my nose is a bit itchy!” The girl hurried to reassure, even though her voice was nasally and hoarse. Her face was slightly red and she sneezed again before she could even finish her sentence…

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Different Opinions

A/N : Hey I am so sorry for the delay. I have been really sick and catching up on work has been utter hell. Anyway i really enjoyed righting this fic and hopefully you will like it to. It is way longer than intended. Also, I am willing to write smut the ask just didn’t request it so i decided to leave it out. If you want some smut or smutty sequels to any of my works just let me know in the asks boxes and I will get right on that.

Title : Different Opinions

Rating: teen (bordering mature)

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Plus Sized Reader

Warnings: Insecurities, body insecurites, making out,  references to sex

WordCount: 2158

@mehrmonga

*Readers POV*

‘Wow she was really skinny. Like, REALLY skinny.’ I thought as I smiled at the girl in front of me. I tried not to think about my weight a lot but there were moments like these where it was hard for me to ignore. I work as a stage hand on the Hamilton cast set and a lot of people were back stage. Daveed had come by with the date he had brought to watch him perform and asked if I could keep her company while he greeted fans and celebrities. I said yes without really thinking. Just like that I was stuck practically babysitting my crushes date. Damn it. She was still talking as I just continued nodding my head and making coffee for Lin. Daveed had left 15 minutes ago and this girls just could not seem to shut up. Right now she is currently talking about her work out routine before I heard one sentence stick out.

“Maybe you should try it. It’s a great fat burning workout.” She said continuing on in her chipper voice.

“Yeah maybe I should try it.” I said trying to match her enthusiasm. I was trying to look for a new workout or diet but they never seemed to work. God I felt fat standing next to this girl. I have a tendency to compare myself to other people and this girl was no exception. She was a slim fit beauty with beautiful blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

“OMGGGG we should work out together. I have been looking for a gym buddy.” She squealed and handed me her phone to put my number in. I really didn’t want this girl to have my number in fear that she would continuously call me and ramble like she had been.

“Actually, Y/N has to finish the coffee and take it around to the cast.” I heard a familiar voice say behind me. I turned around and smiled at Lin who was speaking to the blonde behind me. What was her name again?

“Oh yeah sorry. I was just saying …” She continued on and Lin looked at me like she had lost her mind. I just sent him a small sad smile and went back to making the coffee. I almost tipped over a cup trying to hold in my laughter because Lin was delicately trying to extract himself from the conversation and failing miserably. I finally took pity on him and stepped in.

“Hey do you want to help me take the coffee to the cast. I need some help and I want to hear more about your special workout.” I said raising the pitch of my voice and putting an extremely fake smile on my face. She bought it. Lin looked at me like I had grown two heads.

“Omg yes of course. So it’s so important to stretch first, so I will do this stretch with my leg where I . . .” She started up again and picked up two of the coffees as she focused her attention fully on me. I gave her my fake smile and nodded along with whatever she was saying. I turned and handed Lin his coffee. He gave me a grateful and pitying look as he took it from my hand. I turned and began walking to Anthony’s dressing room with the blonde following behind me going on about the importance of free weights. It was going to be a long night.


*Daveed’s Pov*

“She was a nightmare Diggs.” Oak laughed at me. I smiled laughed and rolled my eyes at him. “I am serious man you should apologize to Y/N she was a pro at handling her.” He turned to look at Y/N sitting next to him. “How did you handle her for a whole hour? I had a headache after the five minutes it took for you hand me my coffee.”

“I just blocked her out most of the time. She wants me to go with the gym with her. Like I need to go to the gym and lose some weight but I really don’t need that blonde with me.” Y/N laughed.  I smiled but was slightly confused. She didn’t need to lose weight. “However, I can’t say she was a nightmare. She was gorgeous.”

“So she was still a nightmare, a pretty nightmare.” Oak laughed as he slung his arm around the back of the coach and started playing with Y/N’s hair. I felt a little jealous of the closeness but brushed it off just like any other time.

“A gorgeous nightmare.” Y/N corrected. “And I hate to say it but that’s called a girlfriend Oaky.” Oak groaned and dropped his head back on the coach mumbling something about staying single forever

“You’re gorgeous and you’re not a nightmare.” I said with a smirk. Her cheeks flushed. Nailed it.

“Maybe that’s why I am not a girlfriend to anyone then. I mean why would anyone choose me when they could have a petite bombshell like her.” Y/N laughed. “Anyway I got to go check on how the costume department is coming along with some of its repairs.” She stood up and walked out of the room as Oak called after her saying that she should come back as soon as possible. Almost everyone was in the break room at this point and I moved to pull out my phone.

“Is nobody going to comment on the train wreck that was Daveed trying to be smooth?” Anthony said loudly as he looked up from his phone with a smirk.

“I know and then the flat out rejection. That had to hurt Diggs.” Jasmine laughed from across the room.

“She was soooooo wrong about everything,” I said.

“How? I mean she was right the girl you brought was gorgeous and petite that seems to be your type man.” Lin replied to me as he sat down on the arm rest next to me and sipped at his coffee.

“Because she is the most amazing girl I know. She has no right to talk about herself like that. I would have preferred her being my date last night.” I mumbled as my cheeks flushed.

Oak looked over at me shocked. “Oh my God that’s why you were glaring at me when I put my arm around her. Damn man.”I groaned.

“Don’t turn this into a thing guys.”

“OHHHHH we are so going to make it a thing.” Jasmine smiled as she pranced out of the room.


*Readers POV*

“I got your magenta jacket Daveed!” I called as I knocked on the door. I heard a muffled ‘come in’ and walked in to find Rafa sitting on the coach.

“Daveed ran out to get food but he should be back in a bit.” He said and looked up from his phone and proceeded to glance at me up and down before grinning. “Though I got to admit it might be fun to have you to myself for a while.” I flushed crimson and decided not to reply as I walked across the room and reached up to hang the coat. I had worn my shortest pair of shorts today since it was getting warm in the city. I had also worn a black tank top with the plan to wear a shirt over it before realizing I need to do laundry. I felt to chubby for my outfit but really had no choice but to leave the house or risk being late. “You just going to stop talking to me baby? I thought we were friends.” I heard him pout behind. I let out chuckle.

“Yeah we are friends Rafa. How ya been?” I asked while turning around. His face lit up like a Christmas tree and he patted the coach with enthusiasm for me to sit. As soon as I sat down he launched into stories of his newest recordings and how he had started working out even more to buff him up for performances. I nodded along. I didn’t mind his continuous talking unlike the blonde I had to babysit.

“That’s awesome Rafa. I am glad everything has been going well.” He nodded his head enthusiastically

“So what have you been up to? You know, besides keeping my main bro on top of his game.” He asked.

“I have been busy running around the theater like all the time. I am actually trying this new diet too. It really sucks but it’s got to happen you know?” I replied

“Why do you need a diet?”

“Come one Rafa I hate my weight and you can’t act like you haven’t noticed that all the girls in the show are skinnier than me.” I huffed. I was kind of annoyed. I knew I was a different weight than most of the people who worked on set. I would of killed for Renee’s waist and Jasmines thighs.

“You aren’t fat if that what your trying to say Y/N.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, he is fucking right Y/N.” I heard a voice growl from the doorway before looking up to find Daveed with two bags of food in his hand. I just shrugged my shoulders.

“I guess some people just have different opinions.” I supplied while I stood up moved around the Daveed. I was half way out the door when I remembered my reason for coming to the room. “Oh and I got your fixed coat on the rack for you.”


“GODAMMIT LIN YOU CAN NOT HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT!!!” I heard Anthony shout down the hall.

“DAMN RIGHT I DO!!!!” Lin screamed back.

“What are they fighting about?” I asked Jasmine as I ducked under a flying pillow.

“Which star wars movie is better?” she replied before slipping into her room to avoid yet another flying pillow.

I began laughing as I dodged my way through with a cup of coffee for Jonathan before quickly realizing I would not make it through the war zone without spilling it. I quickly ducked into a random dressing room as my only option. It was after the show so most people were packing up or hanging around with each other. I turned around a realized it was Daveed’s room and he was still packing up. When he looked up he saw me and smiled.

“There is all out war going on in the hallway. Do you mind if I wait for a cease fire in here?” I laughed with a huff and held up the steaming hot beverage.

“Sure set the caffine down and rest a while.”

“I feel like a glorified intern running around with coffee everywhere. Though the running is probably good for me.”

“Nah its important to be lazy. Set standards low.”

I laughed and looked up at him with a smile as I sat on the coach and pulled out my phone. After a few minutes I felt a shift in the coach and looked up to find Daveed sitting with one leg up on the coach facing me. I smiled at him and received a smile back. “Do you always look this beautiful or just today? Got to admit, I am liking the shorts.” he said poking my thigh a little. I rolled my eyes at him quite deliberately and went back to typing on my phone. Suddenly a hand pushed the phone out of my hand and on to the floor. A hand was placed on my upper thigh and I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. Startled, I looked to the side and saw Daveed was a lot closer than expected, like presidential election polls close.

“D-Daveed-” I barley stuttered out before his lips were on mine and I was shifting further into his arms. His grip tighten on my thigh as I trailed my tongue across his lower lip. My hands moved to curl into his hair and pull slightly. He growled into the kiss and forced my lips open to explore my mouth. I moaned into his mouth before he pull off breathing heavily and grabbed the back of my head, pulling it to the side so he could bury his face in my neck to lick and suck at the skin.

“I really hate when you do that.” He mumbled while he continued his ministrations. “I hate when you act like my comments are anything but genuine.” He started trailing his hand up and down my thigh. “Tonight with your permission I am going to run my hands over your body and show you just how much I love every single inch of it.” He brought his head up and looked in my eyes seeking my permission. I nodded my head slightly blown away and immediately his hands were all over me. “Come on.” He said choosing to grab my hips at last and pull me off the coach. “We are catching a cab. Jonathan can go get a new coffee.”

BTS as Things that people have said in my classroom.

Jin: I can’t fucking believe that they took away my candybar, maybe I should avenge my Snickers but then again I like not being expelled

Suga: no, I was not asleep Mrs. Blanco, I was simply reflecting on the topic you gave us, on the floor, with my eyes closed, and while snoring

Rap Mon: shut the fuck up Omi, I am the real Slim Shady, you’re just jealous

J-Hope: bitch you wanna go? You, me, chicken dance competition, right now!

Jimin: don’t look at her ass, look at mine, it’s bigger for a reason, so it can take up more of your peripheral vision.

V: does the sun spin?

Jungkook: LET’S WATCH THE BEE MOVIE NEXT CLASS IT HAS TO DO WITH SCIENCE, MRS. HERNANDEZ!!! POLLINATION, PHOTOSYNTHESIS! Yeah I know we’re studying physics, your point?

Sweet Dreams (Chapter One)

He sat cradled by two loving arms, his head on her chest listening to the soft thrum of her heartbeat. The first woman he’d ever loved. She sang a soft, gentle song. He never knew of the meaning but it was their song. The one she’d sing to him when he was feeling discouraged. His hands wrapped tight under his body as his mother patted his back and soothed him with her soft voice.

She bathed him in love and the song went in time with her heartbeat. The one he’d connected to in the womb with his sister. There was something about sleeping on his mother’s chest that calmed him and put him right to sleep. It was there he’d like to stay for the rest of his life.

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lines in make happy that made me cry

“we all deserve love, even on the days when we aren’t our best”

“i had a privileged life, and i got lucky, and i’m unhappy”

“if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.”

“i don’t go to the gym because i’m self conscious about my body, but i’m self conscious about my body because i don’t go to the gym.”

“part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you.”

“i don’t think that i can handle this right now”

“come watch the skinny kid when a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself”

“i know i’m not a doctor, i’m a pussy, i put on a silly show. i should probably just shut up and do my job so here i go.”

“you can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme, and it they still don’t understand you, then you run it one more time.”

“thank you, goodnight, i hope you’re happy.”

“on a scale from one to zero, are you happy?”

“what the fuck kind of question is am i happy?”

“i really wanna try to get happy. and i think that i could get it if i didn’t always panic every time i’m unhappy.”

“oh god my dad was right.”

“so if you know or ever knew how to be happy, on a scale of one to two now, are you happy?”

“you’re everything you hated, are you happy?”

“hey look ma, i made it, are you happy?”

feel free to add on

Chapter Six: Tuesday’s Child
Happy Mother’s Day!

I’ve had this chapter written and ready to post for a while … and then I realized I could post it on Mother’s Day! What’s Mother’s Day without a good birth scene? I’ve watched WAY too many seasons of Call the Midwife for the stereotypical hysterical-screaming/ jump-cut editing crap, so this turned out kind of long.

I could be persuaded to write Jamie’s perspective as well, if there’s an interest. ;)

Monday, November 22nd, 1543; Beauly, Scotland.
Claire.

Mid-day.

Jamie entered the room with our lunch and a cheery greeting. I arched my aching back as I reached my arms over my head and stretched in the large, feather bed. I mumbled something in reply, not fully awake yet from my third nap of the day.

At least, I thought it was the third. I wasn’t entirely sure if I fully woke up from the second. I certainly hadn’t left the bed between naps two and three.

The muscles of my abdomen cramped and a wave of nausea rolled over me. I had been having false contractions for a while now, but something had been off all day today.

This growing feeling of discomfort urged me to speak.

“Are you within the castle this afternoon?” I asked, trying to sound normal.

Jamie’s back was to me as he placed the tray on the table and began to set up our meal. “Nae, back to the stables wi’ me as soon as we’re done eatin’. Shall I bring ye anything special from the kitchens for dinner?”

Damn.

If the Laird had needed him within the castle, I could easily send for him if these mixed signals turned into anything of substance, but he was entirely too far out of reach in the stables.

I wasn’t sure how to ask him to stay without triggering some sort of childbirth panic alarm in my husband. Jamie had been hypersensitive to me this last week, ready to spring into action as soon as I gave the signal. If this wasn’t the beginning of my labor, I’d have a hovering husband and, quite possibly, an entire castle waiting for something to happen.

“I really wish you wouldn’t,” I sighed, while trying to think of a way to phrase ‘I think I’m in labor’ without actually saying ‘I’m in labor.’

“No’ hungry?” He turned, giving me a concerned look. “Ye should eat somethin’, mo nighean donn, or the bairn will complain, aye?”

The cramp strengthened, edging its way towards my lower back.

My voice shook as the feeling of discomfort within me inched closer and closer to pain. “I don’t think he’ll complain, he seems to be packing his bags at the moment.”

Jamie’s eyes grew large as understanding took hold. He stared at me, his mouth opening and closing silently like a fish out of water.

When he did find his voice, it was a good octave or two above normal. “Sh-should I fetch the midwife?”

“No!” I all but shouted. The last thing I needed right now was that decrepit old woman watching my every move.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I curled my legs up as far as they would go and pulled the blankets tighter around me. I heard him cross the room and kneel down on the floor beside me. His hand trembled as he tucked a curl behind my ear. Cracking my eyelids open just a little, I could see the panic in Jamie’s eyes. His chest heaved as he tried to remain calm.

“I think I’m having contractions, but I’m not really sure.” I whispered and brought my hand to his.

He leaned close, his nose brushing against mine, asking “Wha’ can I do, Claire?”

“Will you hold me?” All I wanted was to lay here and shut out the world, to feel his arms around me and take strength from his presence.

He crawled around me, easing himself into bed. I could feel every ounce of tension leave me as his body curled around mine. His arms, now steady and sure, gathered me close and I melted into him.

Dusk.

“You’re pacing, Jamie.”

“Hmm?” He turned to me, mind somewhere else. “Oh, aye. I suppose tha’ I am.”

I hid a smile. My contractions were more than fifteen minutes apart and the pain was still manageable, but Jamie was coming apart at the seams.

His eyes refocused on the present and he grinned sheepishly at me. “Am I botherin’ ye, mo nighean donn? Should I pace in the other room?”

“If you so much as touch that door handle, James Fraser…” I threatened, not entirely sure what I would do.

The smile broadened as he held up his hands surrender. “I willna.”

A spasm began and I realized we hadn’t really talked about his part in these proceedings.

“Promise?” I begged.

“I promise I willna leave until ye tell me to.” He vowed as he bent forward to kiss me. “An’ even then, the midwife will have to tear me away from yer side.”

The idea of giving birth without him in the room had never crossed my mind. Even in my time, husbands rarely attended the births of their children and I expected it was even more rare in the sixteenth century.

“You won’t really leave, will you?” I asked, dodging his caress. ”I need you to stay with me.”

He looked entirely skeptical, “Ye willna want me here when–”

“I’m can’t do this alone, Jamie, not again. I can’t – I won’t – do this without you.” Cutting him off, I grabbed hold of him, desperate to make him understand. “Please don’t ask me to.”

“If that is what ye wish, mo chridhe, nothing on this earth will move me.” He assured me, his face held a hint of doubt that I would really still want him at my side a few hours from now.

I let him kiss me then, his touch full of support.

We would do this as we did everything: together.

Around midnight.

“What are we at now?” I asked as a contraction gained momentum, trying to breath normally. They were in a definite pattern, each one a little closer to and stronger than the last.

Jamie checked the small pocket watch that miraculously had been in his sporran when we went thru the stones. “Tha’ was ten minutes between,” he answered as I gripped the back of a chair.

Swaying my hips slowly side to side, I tried to find relief from the pain. Jamie came up behind me and started to massage the spasming muscles of my lower back.

“Mmm,” I encouraged him. “Right there.”

The baby shifted suddenly and I desperately reached behind me for my husbands hands. I half pulled him in front of me, half turned turned towards him and buried my face in his chest.

“Jesus H Roosevelt Fucking Christ, this bloody hurts.” I groaned.

Jamie’s head lowered to mine, gently kissing the top of my head. “I’m sending for the midwife after this one is done, mo nighean donn.”

I nodded but didn’t speak.

We began to sway again, Jamie half singing, half speaking a sort of lullaby to me in Gaelic.

“Jamie?” I interrupted. “I love you, but you are a terrible singer.”

About 4:00 am

“Damn,” I muttered as a stream of amniotic fluid ran down my legs. “Here we go.”

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Here, Always

Pairing: Young!Sirius Black X Reader

Prompt: Life hasn’t always been easy for Sirius, but you always thought he knew how to handle it. After all, he’s always so upbeat and energetic all the time. How do you deal with finding out that he isn’t always smiling?

A/N: Panic attacks suck and it’s not an inconvenience to anyone if you have one. Remember to breathe and I hope you guys all have a good day. I’m not a hundred percent certain if what I wrote here is completely inoffensive or accurate, and I apologize if I made any errors. I also changed the plot slightly from the original request. Thanks for understanding.
      I decided to try writing something a bit angsty, so tell me if I’m any good at it please. I’m experimenting with new styles of writing, so please bear with me if the usual nice reader-insert fluff isn’t as prevalent as it used to be. Feel free to throw new ideas at me and I really would appreciate some feedback on my writing! Thank you all so much, again. 

Warnings: Panic attacks, anxiety, overall feelings of negativity.

Originally posted by sensuous

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Of Paparazzi and Succulents

Summary: Actor!Dan is running away from a mob of fans when he runs into a flower shop. There, he meets a quirky florist who has an absurd liking towards succulents, seeming to think they have feelings of their own.
Word Count: 10,927
Warnings: Mobbing fans, anxiety attack, swearing, sexuality denial
A/N: Special thanks to @humhallephan and @moondaniel for giving me editing tips, you guys are awesome! This was originally a prompt from an anon so I hope you guys like it!

Read it on AO3

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Dan knew it was a bad idea to go outside. He knew exactly what would happen when he went out (he could hear the squeals and screams even now), but he did it anyways. All he wanted to do was to go to store to grab some more dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, but of course, he couldn’t enjoy the everyday luxury of going out to the store.

As soon as he stepped out of his flat, a hush fell over the street and he sucked his breath in, waiting to see what would happen. Then, not even two minutes later, he was being pushed, screamed at, and had sobbing girls crying into his shoulder.

And all he had wanted was some damned dinosaur nuggets.

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Ugh this has been sitting on my computer for more than a month. Take it, just take it!


Bucky: Did she just slap you?!
Steve: [silently watches the angry nurse march away]
Bucky: Who is she?
Steve: [absently, as he studies the new surroundings] Darcy. Foster’s assistant.
Bucky: Why is she here?
Steve: How would I know, Buck?
Bucky: Why did she slap you?

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anonymous asked:

could i hace a jimon drabble maybe about simon being a daylighter????

ok this has been in my inbox for so long im so sorry allksls but i want to start writing again so here u go (also its rly bad i apologise) 

His arms instinctively came up to cover his face as the curtains were drawn open.  He felt the sun’s rays brush over his skin and waiting for the burning sensation that was never coming.  Slowly lowering his arms, he realised he was safe.  It had been a week and Simon still wasn’t used to the fact that the sun wouldn’t hurt him anymore.  Even though he had only been a vampire for a couple of weeks, he had become resigned to the fact that he wouldn’t see the sun again, wouldn’t live a normal life again, and now that he could, he wasn’t ready.

He looked out the window at the early morning sun, watched some birds fly across the sky.  He looked down at the street seeing early morning people going about their daily business, people who would never know the emotions he was feeling right now.  Simon had never taken in the beauty of the sun before, had always take it for granted and gone about with his daily business.  But not anymore.  Now, every morning he did this.  He stood in front of the window, gazing out at the sun as if he’d never seen it before. Taking in everything he could as though he was suddenly going to turn back into a vampire again.  Well, a normal vampire.  Instead of whatever the hell he was.

He felt arms wrap around his waist and instinctively relaxed into the feeling of a body against his back. Soft lips ghosted across his neck as Jace mumbled a good morning to him, squeezing him harder for a second before letting go.  Simon smiled harder as Jace spun him round so they were face to face and softly connected their lips.  The kiss only lasted a second and before Simon was ready Jace was pulling back complaining about morning breath.

“Were you staring out the window again?” Jace asked, a teasing tone to his voice.  Simon blushed and looked away not knowing how to explain his feelings to seeing the sun again.

“I just, though, you know, that I’d never see the sun again.  You never really know what you have until it’s gone.” Simon blushed harder realising how cheesy he sounded, cursing himself for even uttering that comment. He looked over at Jace and was surprised to see a soft smile directed his way, instead of the teasing looks he usually got. He opened his mouth to either ask what Jace was smiling at, or to explain what he meant, Simon wasn’t quite sure yet, but Jace beat him to it.

“I keep forgetting, that you weren’t able to see the sun for, what was it, two weeks?” Simon nodded but said nothing, waiting for Jace to continue, but Jace didn’t.  He slowly, as if he didn’t want to startle Simon, edged across the carpet towards him, before they were close enough that Simon could kiss him if he wanted to.  Jace’s arms came up to wrap Simon in a hug and Simon relaxed into it.

“It must have been terrible, not being able to see the sun,” Simon hummed in agreement, enjoying the way Jace’s voice reverberated around his body.  They parted slightly, enough so they could see each other’s faces but not so far that they were no longer touching. “I’m sorry if I keep teasing you about seeing the sun – “

“No, it’s fine,” Simon cut him off, but Jace shook his head, shutting him up.

“No, it’s not fine, I have no idea what you’re feeling right now and I should be happy for you instead of teasing you.” Simon snorted, looking down at their feet. “What?” Jace asked, not knowing what he’s said to bring on this reaction.  Simon looked back up at him grinning.

“Sorry Jace, but the day you stop teasing me is the day hell freezes over.  It’s just not realistic.” Jace rolled his eyes, grinning, and let Simon go before walking towards the door of the room.

“Come on, we’re having breakfast outside today” Simon smiled, watching his boyfriend leave before turning his gaze to the window once more.  He might not be used to being able to stand in the sun yet, but he knew with Jace’s help, he would get there.

Jealousy X men Pref.

featuring : Kurt, Raven, Pietro and Scott

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BonRin Week Day 1: Rivalry

Hi, everyone! I’m so excited to be participating in BonRin Week this year! I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Four Verses

“I would like everyone to begin memorizing the first four verses of Psalms. Please be ready to be tested over them by this Friday.” Yukio said.

Bon snorted. “Okumura? Learn an aria? That idiot couldn’t learn four words, and he definitely couldn’t learn four verses.”

“Oi! Don’t talk crap, you jerk! I bet I could learn the first ten lines!” Rin shouted.

“Bullshit! You couldn’t learn that in a month!”

“What? You scared I’ll memorize it faster?”

“Like hell you will!”

Yukio sighed as he watched the two boys argue. He was fairly certain Rin couldn’t memorize the aria, and he hadn’t been expecting him to. Making Rin read and speak in front of the class would be cruel and unusual punishment as it stood; his dyslexia often made it too hard and the added pressure of classmates made it twice as difficult. Yet, Yukio decided to stir the pot. Maybe a little healthy competition would make Rin more confident in his ability to read and memorize material.

“That’s enough.” Yukio said.

Bon dropped Rin from the chokehold he had him in and trudged back to his desk. Rin rubbed his throat as he settled into his own seat beside Shiemi, who smiled at him.

“Normally, I wouldn’t encourage this behavior. Exorcists must work as a team, building each other up and tackling problems together. However, other exorcists are also your rivals. They are supposed to push you to overcome obstacles. So, in order for you two,” Yukio gestured to Bon and Rin, “to become better, I am giving you a challenge.”

“Ah, cool! Let’s do it!” Rin exclaimed, eyes wide.

Yukio smiled. “You will both learn the first ten lines of the aria. Whoever can present it correctly Friday will have bragging rights indefinitely.”

Rin nodded excitedly, eyes shining. He was going to win. Maybe if learned this chant, he could learn more. He could be an Aria, like Shiro. How cool would that be?

****

As soon as he got back to the dorm, Rin promptly hit the books. Yukio believed he might be able to memorize an aria better than Bon. How could he not be motivated? He stared at the page, trying to make the words stick.

It was only a moment later that they began to swim and twirl, becoming unintelligible gibberish.

Rin growled. This wasn’t fair! Everyone else in the class was good with weapons and smart. They could read without a problem and remember information.

No! Don’t get mad, it only makes it worse. If you calm down, the words won’t get so messy, Rin thought, you can do this. Yukio thinks so. And you need to shove it in Bon’s dumb smug face. . Taking a few deep breaths, Rin began trying to make sense of the words again.

****

“Man, Bon, you’re really into this, huh?” Shima teased.

Bon glared at Shima for a moment from the corner of his eye. “I’m going to beat Okumura by a landslide.”

“Okumura-kun has a lot of trouble with this kind of thing. You could learn that by tomorrow. There’s no reason to be worried.” Konekomaru said.

“I’m not gonna underestimate him. He’s an opponent. I can’t be lazy.”

“Okumura-kun can barely read.”

Bon turned to Konekomaru, frowning. “Don’t make fun of him for that.”

“I-I wasn’t. Sorry.”

Bon closed his book. “It’s fine. I’m going to go to the library to study for a while. I want to have half of it memorized by tonight.”

Shima and Konekomaru watched Bon leaved, sharing a look of confusion. Shima was the first to shrug. Bon had always been rather competitive. Winning was likely the only thing on his mind right now.

****

For the rest of the week, everything was tense. Bon could be seen around campus muttering to himself and scribbling notes, avoiding all contact that might interfere with his memorization. Rin, on the other hand, had his nose buried in a book, his fingers moving along lines of text that were beneath a sheet of transparent blue plastic. When Shiemi had asked him about the plastic, Rin cheerfully said that it made the words a bit easier to read. That was about as much as anyone got out of him the entire week.

When Friday finally rolled around, the showdown was looming like an impending storm. Everyone was awaiting Bon’s inevitable victory. Konekomaru had heard him recite verses one through fifteen without aid the night before. There was no way he would lose.

Yukio had everyone else recite the assigned verses first. It was painstaking; no one cared about memorizing it for themselves. All the attention was focused on Rin and Bon’s battle.

“Let me go first, Yukio!” Rin shouted.

“You’re pretty upbeat for someone who’s never been able to read out of a book.” Kamiki said.

Rin’s smile faltered at the jab, but he quickly put it back in place. He had worked hard. He deserved to have his moment, didn’t he? Yukio gave a soft smile.

“Of course, Rin. Is that okay with you, Suguro?” Yukio asked.

Bon simply nodded. Yukio nodded at Rin. Standing tall, Rin began to speak.

“Blessed is the one how, I mean, who, does not wake…uhm, walk…in pets - wait, no, step - with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners kate…no, take, I - shit!” Rin snapped.

Kamiki snickered from her seat. Rin couldn’t even get through one verse. Yukio shot her a look, but it didn’t get through. She continued to laugh. Rin felt his cheeks heat up, his eyes stinging. He wouldn’t cry. He knew better. He had done this to himself.

“Oi! Shut up, Kamiki! Okumura did a good job!” Bon growled.

“I could barely understand him. You can’t use a broken aria.” Kamiki argued.

“That ain’t his fault!”

“If he can’t even memorize one line, why should he be an exorcist?”

The words were enough. Rin grabbed his sword and walked out of the room. Kamiki was right. What right did he, an idiot who could barely read or spell, have?

“Rin! Come back here!” Yukio called.

“Let him go! He shouldn’t even be here!” Kamiki called.

“Shut up!” Bon yelled, “We aren’t done, Okumura! I didn’t give you all that help just to watch you quit! How are we going to defeat Satan if you walk away?”

Rin felt a smile tug at his cheeks. He hadn’t expected Bon to admit that he had given him help while studying the aria. He turned to look at Bon, seeing the embarrassed look on his face. It seemed that he hadn’t meant to admit it either.

“Get your ass back in here. I need to recite it and beat you.” Bon mumbled.

“Only this time! I’ll win next time!” Rin promised.

Bon smirked. “In your dreams, Okumura.”

Little Talks

A/N: So this is my first actual story that I’m posting here. The idea came to me in class and I couldn’t resist writing a little drabble. Feedback is always appreciated! Let me know if you want to be tagged in any future stories! 

Summary: You have just had a baby. As you’re recovering and catching up on some much-needed rest, Tony has a conversation with your newborn son. 

Word Count: 792


Tony sits by the side of your bed, gazing at you fondly, your newborn son cradled gently in his arms. His face holds a look of pure wonder and adoration. There were times when Tony looked at you – your wedding day, when you told him you were pregnant – when you felt like his gaze held all the love in the world. None of those times could even compare to the love with which he gazes at your son. His strong arms are holding the fragile infant close against his chest, his grip secure and strong, yet so gentle it almost seems hesitant.

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I’ll be There (1/3)

Originally posted by rohgers

Requested: Reader is Tony’s sister and she has feelings for Bucky. But one day, she accidentally discovers that he killed her parents (as in Civil War) and gets very angry and upset and ignores him and he gets really bad about it.

Pairing: Brother Tony X Reader X Bucky
Warnings: This part none


You had never meant to fall in love with Bucky Barnes. From the times you passed in the halls and made awkward eye contact, to laughter filled dinners with the team, you had always felt a connection with Bucky. As months passed, you could feel the tension between you two grow. You were always so nervous to confront him because although you were almost a 100% sure that he liked you back, your track record of past love interests would show otherwise.

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anonymous asked:

did you really think american sniper was a bad movie or was that a joke

OOOOOOooo BOY alright 

american sniper is about Chris Kyle     

Chris Kyle was the most lethal sniper in US history

  • He killed over 160 people singlehandedly
  • In his book, Kyle clearly states that he thought the enemies were savages and despicably evil
  • he thought killing was “fun”
  • “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the Iraqis.”
  • He stated he regrets that he didn’t kill more people
  • Kyle was a hate filled KILLER 
  • “ much of the US right wing appears to have seized upon Sniper with similarly shallow comprehension – treating it with the same unconsidered, rah-rah reverence that they would the national anthem or the flag itself. Only a few weeks into its release, the film has been flattened into a symbol to serve the interests of an ideology that, arguably, runs counter to the ethos of the film itself. ” eastwood let this happen. he painted the film in grey. IT WASNT GREY. ITS WRONG. CHRIS KYLE WAS WRONG. HE SHOULD HAVE PORTRAYED THAT CLEAR AS DAY. HE DECIDED NOT TO.
  • bottomline he killed women, children, and men and is being fucking defended 

this film is making people do this (WARNING:OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE, HATE TOWARDS THE MIDDLE EAST)

clint eastwood

also lazy ass filmmaking 

  • THAT FAKE BABY. I KNOW THIS ISNT IMPORTANT BC THE THINGS ABOVE WHAT IVE SAID. BUT. COMEON. THEY COULDA GOT A REAL BABY. i have a theory tht all the babies they tried to bring on set wouldnt stop crying bc they didnt want to be in this awful eastwood movie so they gave up on using a REAL CHILD.

all this stuff can be googled to support what I’ve said. American Sniper should not win a single thing and Clint should Stop and Go Away. 

******People need to realize that you CAN support your country while thinking critically about its actions and its citizenry