i should have made this bigger

I just did a ton of work on the blog theme so it should be a bit easier to navigate! 

  • I made the text on the posts bigger (because lets face it, that was tiny)
  • Took away the magic that made you have to click an arrow just to see the description
  • Took away the extra click you had to do just to see the navigation links
  • Added links for the forms, documents, and a place for the check-ins when it’s time for that
  • Added neat little icons for the links 
  • Replaced some of the other magic that was bothering me

None of this goes for mobile because that’s a whole other mess that I have zero control of :’ )

Older brother Namjoon+ rest of BTS scolds you PT.9

BTS x Reader

Genre: Angst

Namjoon’s Sister AU

[PT.1] [PT.2] [PT.3][PT.4] [PT.5] [PT.6] [PT.7] [PT.8] [PT.9] [PT.10] [PT.11] [PT.12] [PT.13] [PT.14:END] [PT.14 Alternative]


Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

I heard a thump and my first reaction was to, of course, look up. I saw Y/N lying there on the floor, only a foot away from where I was sat. I don’t think I’ve ever got up so quickly in my life. I rushed straight to her side and picked her up in an instant. I felt how damp her clothes were, and also how warm her body was in my arms. She had a fever, she must have caught a cold from being out in the rain.

I opened the door to her apartment and carried her in, through the doors of her room and placed her on top of her bed. She was completely soaked from head to toe, and I couldn’t have her sleep in that. But I couldn’t possibly change her clothes for her. I knew Y/N’s neighbour was a middle aged lady, so I decided to knock on her door and ask if she could change Y/N, and she was more than happy to help.

After she had left I walked into Y/N’s room and saw that she was sleeping peacefully, but her lips were pale and her face was completely drained of colour. I walked out of the room and got a wet towel, wringing it out I walked back into her room and placed it on her forehead. Somewhat hoping for a miracle that it helps. I felt horrid, I did this to her. All of this is my fault, she’s sick because of me. If only I did better, then non of this would have happened, right? I should have protected her like I knew she would have wanted me to. I know she wants us all to, but we didn’t. At first, we were all so close, we took care of her and she took care of us, she always smiled. But as time went by and the fame got bigger, the more distant to her we all became. We didn’t even know that she was suffering, and we did nothing to help but instead we made it worse for her. Much worse. I felt guilty as I took one last look at her and left her room, leaving the door ajar.

I walked into her kitchen, it’s been a while since I’ve stopped by and actually visited her. Everything was placed neatly, so tidy and clean as usual. Until I started to rummage through her refrigerator and cupboards, looking for ingredients to make her something to eat for when she wakes up. I’m a horrible cook, I already knew that but I was always told to take medication with food and Y/N has to take medication so for her sake, I will attempt at cooking at try not to burn the whole apartment complex down.

Y/N’s p.o.v

I was woken up by the sounds of crashing and banging in my kitchen. I opened my eyes and saw that the room was still spinning. I realised that there was a wet towel on my forehead, I was no longer in my wet clothes and I was tucked into bed. Who in the world changed me out of my clothes? My head was still hurting, to the point I had no strength. There could be a pervert or a thief in my house right now and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, and it scared me to know that someone was in my house right now and I was completely weak. 

When I gathered up enough strength, I slowly got up. Holding a pair of sharp tweezers I made my way towards the kitchen. I saw the back of someone wearing a black hoodie, some blue ripped jeans and white socks. He was holding a knife and was hammering it against my countertop. 

“Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?” I shouted, holding my tweezers out in front of me, as if they could do any damage. By the time I could get close enough to jab the person with my tweezers, they could have thrown the knife at me. 

The man turned around still holding the knife in his hand. I was shocked to see the person standing in front of me. “Joonie?”


Who thought it was someone else? lolol ~ PT.10 anyone?

THE PHANTOM MENACE SENTENCE STARTERS

  • “ i have a bad feeling about this. ”
  • “ i don’t sense anything. ”
  • “ the negotiations will be short. ”
  • “ offhand, i’d say this mission is past the negotiation stage. ”
  • “ you were right about one thing, ____ , the negotiations were short. ”
  • “ at last we’re getting results. ”
  • “ again you come before me, ____. ”
  • “ you will not be pleased when you hear what i have to say, ____. ”
  • “ we will see. ”
  • “ we must continue to rely on negotiation. ”
  • “ how can we negotiate ?
  • “ we must defend ourselves. ”
  • “ this is a dangerous situation, _____. ”
  • “ i will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war. ”
  • “ that won’t be necessary. ”
  • “ you hear that ? that is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way. ”
  • “ we must warn them !
  • “ thank you for your help. ”
  • “ there’s always a bigger fish. ”
  • “ relax. ”
  • “ you overdid it. ”
  • “ this is not good !
  • “ drop your weapons !
  • “ i said: drop your weapons !
  • “ i will not co-operate. ”
  • “ in time, their suffering will persuade you to our point of view. ”
  • “ your negotiations seem to have failed, _____. ”
  • “ the negotiations never took place. ”
  • “ that won’t be a problem. ”
  • “ under the circumstances, i suggest you come to ____ with me. ”
  • “ my place is with my people. ”
  • “ they will kill you if you stay. ”
  • “ either choice presents great risk to all of us. ”
  • “ i’ll take care of that. ”
  • “ it’s risky, but there’s no alternative. ”
  • “ we should not have made this bargain. ”
  • “ you must trust my judgment, ____. ”
  • “ how did you end up here with us ?
  • “ i feel it also, ____. ”
  • “ this is not a good idea. stay close to me. ”
  • “ are you an angel ?
  • “ how do you know so much ?
  • “ this is a strange world to me. ”
  • “ yeah, it’d be a pity if you had to pay for me. ”
  • “ fear attracts the fearful. ”
  • “ what if it is true, and the people are dying ?
  • “ the biggest problem in the universe is that no one helps each other. ”
  • “ you assume too much. ”
  • “ ____ will not approve.”
  • “ ____ doesn’t need to know. ”
  • “ well, i don’t approve. ”
  • “ i will watch over him/her/them. you have my word. ”
  • “ will you be alright ?
  • “ he/she/they was/were in my life for such a short time.,, ”
  • “ will i ever see you again ?
  • “ what does your heart tell you ?
  • “ be brave, and don’t look back. ”
  • “ it’ll bring you good fortune. ”
  • “ what options do we have ?
  • “ i wish i had your confidence in this, ____. ”
  • “ i will not defer !
  • “ i will do what i must. ”
  • “ i sense much fear in you. ”
  • “ please, ____, stay here, where it’s safe. ”
  • “ ____ is dangerous. they all sense it. why can’t you ?
  • “ i promise you, i will not let that happen. ”
  • “ i’m not sure what you hope to accomplish by this. ”
  • “ i am sorry for my deception, but under the circumstances it has become necessary to protect myself. ”
  • “ if we do not act quickly, all will be lost forever. ”
  • “ i ask you to help us. no, i beg you to help us. ”
  • “ be patient. let them make the first move. ”
  • “ it is so good to see you again. ”
  • “ it’s good to be home. ”
Rearranging Myself For Comfort

So I’ve been getting a lot of people asking a variety of questions over the last few weeks; I’ve posted some on here and others have been direct messages. A lot of them, while different, all seem to follow a theme; tell me if you can spot it:

- ‘What would you recommend when going out dressed up?’

- ‘Everything is uncomfortable, what should I wear?’

- ‘Should approach my partner/friends about crossdressing?’

Spotted it yet? All of these questions are, at their basic form, about being comfortable as a crossdresser.

During every crossdresser’s life, they’re going to fell uncomfortable; this could be either physically, mentally, or both. I’ve felt it, you’ve probably felt it, everyone feels it.

Is it because crossdressing is something that’s seen as unnatural? As though you’re doing something taboo or forbidden?

Nah.

Let’s be realistic for a second here. We’re living in an age where fashion saw the boundaries of ‘normality’ and waved while they went sprinting right past; a man in a dress, no matter how feminine or masculine they look, is nothing surprising any more.

I’m gonna try not to sound like a bitch here, but it’s not them, it’s you.

So Why Am I Uncomfortable When Dressing Up?

1. Because That Dress Ain’t Right On You

I’ve said this so many times before, but I’m gaining hundreds of followers every week so I’ll say it again for all you newcomers (Hi there by the way).

Dress for your body, not what you want your body to be.

Dresses aren’t magical; they don’t just magically give you curves and hide your shoulders. If you’re going to wear a tight dress that starts just above the cleavage and stops just under the hips, you better make sure you’ve got the body to support it (go look at @abbycatsuk, she’s a perfect example of how this look can be pulled off).

Certain looks (like the short, tight dress one) is such a hard look for crossdressers; even experienced gurls, myself included, have difficulty making it work. It isn’t because you’re not good at crossdressing, it’s because these dresses aren’t made for everyone. There are a lot of actual girls out there that would struggle to wear something like that.

Instead, you should wear something that compliments your body type. @isabelladecarrington has made several great posts about this and, quite frankly, puts it much better than I could. It’s worth reading her work if you want to know how you can dress for a more feminine figure.

If you’re after the TL;DR version, don’t wear something short that will cling to your body unless you’re 100% confident it will work. Instead, try a skater dress, I’m yet to meet a gurl who doesn’t look natural in one.

2. Because you’re hiding something.

I’ve struggled a lot with this. Not just with my current partner but previous girlfriends and even friends. Hiding as a crossdresser, for some people, isn’t a choice but a necessity. However, for others, we hide it simply because we’re nervous of the reactions from those close to us.

When I told my friends I knew there wouldn’t be a negative reaction. I realised later that I struggled to tell them because I had made it into a big deal in my head.

This made me extremely uncomfortable. Any time we met where fashion or makeup was talked about, I felt like I couldn’t join in because I would out myself. At the same time I wanted my friends to know, but I felt I couldn’t tell them only because I had kept it hidden.

It felt like a bigger problem than it should have been because I had kept it a secret for so long…

Unsurprisingly, there’s an easy way around this.

If you feel uncomfortable around people because they don’t you crossdress, just tell them.

So many people don’t really care about it these days. In fact, in a lot of circles, it’s finally getting accepted as something that is simply a hobby, no different to collecting stamps or gardening.

The benefit to this; my friends ask me about Jess all the time. I get asked on a regular basis whether I’ll be going to social events as Jess or not, and sometimes Jess has even been requested to make an appearance.

This might not be a problem if you crossdress as a fetish, but for those of you who feel crossdressing is a part of who you are, it’s certainly worth a try. Worse case scenario, you find out who your real friends are.

3. Because you think people are staring at you.

Let me tell you about the first time I went out as Jess. I was wearing 6-inch platform heels and towered over practically everything and everyone in London (I was asked to change the batteries on Big Ben, I politely declined). I like to think that everything else looked on-point, but being that tall made me stand out.

I got a lot of stares from people when I first left the car, especially from an elderly drunken gentleman who couldn’t figure out if I was a man or an Amazonian. I had a few wolf-whistles and several sexual comments (probably out of jest, but I’ll take it regardless).

After a couple of minutes, I completely forgot I was even wearing a dress.

Confidence can really help here, and I can’t express how much better it was to be surrounded by friends at this point, but after not very long I stopped thinking about everyone else and just how happy I was to be out. People might have still been staring, but I was no longer caring.

The upside of this is that I only got compliments, not insults (to my face at least). Several people came to tell me about how they loved my outfit, some asked about my heeled boots and several people were shocked when they heard my voice and had simply assumed I was just hella tall.

The thing is, the people who don’t like it won’t make themselves known. The people who like/love it will go out of their way to let you know. The first step is the hardest, the rest is just a cat-walk.


Yeah… I’ve gone and dragged this on again haven’t I. 

For those of you who are curious, I’m still contemplating starting the Crossdressing Magazine. I didn’t get as many responses as I wanted but it’s clear that it’s something many of you are interested in.

Regardless, here’s a picture for those of you had the patience to read through this essay of a post (much appreciated).

Yep, those are the tower boots.

I’m going to post a photoset of this outfit tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Until then, thanks for reading! I hope this has helped a few of you.

If it has, make sure you reblog for your followers too!

- Jessica Blaise x x

bad | 03

 He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by sugutie

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: romance, smutish, fluff

WORDS: 2 856

WARNINGS: badboy!jungkook, cussing, mature

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08coming soon ↠ 

A/N: I enjoy writing this, so the fact that you guys like it makes me so happy. thank you to everyone who sent a nice message, it means so much

Keep reading

Build-A-Daddy

or “the college au where lily is a single mom struggling with finishing school and raising a child, and james discovers he quite likes babysitting” (AO3)

(p.s.: thank you to @gxldentrio for being a lovely beta reader!)


Chapter: ½

She’s just another face in the crowd.

But she stands out.

She’s battling her way through the waves of I’m late-s, I should have gone to bed earlier-s and Why haven’t I started that bloody paper yet-s entangling themselves in people’s legs. They trip, but she bears on.

Her hair is made of flames; they lick their way through the sea of people, turning them to ashes, burning a path for her - James is entranced. Her brow is furrowed with decision, and she doesn’t hesitate to nudge someone out of her way with her shoulder, or to make herself bigger with the size of her backpack which looks like it could make her topple over. She parts the flood with sheer determination in her eyes.

She’s unstoppable.

“Hey!”

He goes unnoticed.

Keep reading

Imagine Steve catching you sneaking off

Requested by @netflixa with the prompts: “Can I ask you why you wanna push your luck? ‘Cause that’s what you’re doing,” &  “Not that my choices are any of your business, but I’ve turned over a new leaf.” Tags under the cut. 

“Can I ask you why you wanna push your luck? ‘Cause that’s what you’re doing,” the familiar voice coming from behind you hit a nerve and you sighed to calm yourself down.

Spinning around, you holster your katana and smiled at Captain America himself, “Not that my choices are any of your business, but I’ve turned over a new leaf.”

“A new leaf, huh?” Steve smirked skeptically and strolled right up to you. “Is that why you’re leaving in the middle of the night?”

“You caught me,” you retorted with false innocence.

Steve’s smile faded and actual concern fell upon his face, “Come on, Y/N. What are you doing?”

Pulling down your black hood, you shrugged. “I’m trying to make things right, I’m going to help my friend.”

“We’re your friends,” his hand reached over and landed on your shoulder; the warmth killed you.

“You of all people should understand the position I am in,” you scoffed and looked down at your watch. He was expecting you soon. “I have to go, he needs my help.”

“Murdock is a big boy, we have bigger things to fight,” his own words made him wince, because Steve knew what you were feeling.

“You sound like Tony,” you remarked with a tiny bit of disgust. “I fucked up and ran from my problems, leaving Matt to deal with the aftermath. I left Hell’s Kitchen and became an Avenger.”

Steve removed his hand and looked toward the door, “You’re going to get hurt.”

“I always do,” you chuckled. “Jesus, Steve. We’re all fighting the same battle here, you do see that right?”

“Yeah,” Steve’s voice was filled with remorse. “I get it, do what you have to.”

“But?” You asked with suspicion.

Steve stepped toward you, lifting his palm to your face. His blue eyes soften and a small sad smile appeared on his face. “Come back to me, in one piece.”

You grinned and clutched the front of his shirt, pulling him down to your lips. He kissed you gently, wrapping his arms around your waist. You groaned into his mouth and tugged at his blond locks.

“I have to go,” you whispered in between kisses, slowly breaking your lips from his.

“Yeah,” he managed a tight smile and cleared his throat. “Don’t get yourself killed.”

“Well, I have something to come back to now,” you patted Steve’s chest and winked at him.

He watched you walk toward the door and he couldn’t do it. There was no way he was going to let you walk out of that door alone, so he called out your name. When you turned to see what he wanted, he was already in front of you. “Give me a minute, let me go suit up.”

Laughing, you followed him out the door. “Oh, Matt’s gonna love this.”

Keep reading

New Exerpt

I was confident that Bill would be great at parenting. His father died before Bill was born; he knew how lucky he was to have this chance that his own father never had. Still, a lot of men are thrilled to be dads but not so thrilled about all the work that a child requires. The writer Katha Pollitt has observed how even the most egalitarian relationships can contort under the strain of child rearing, and all of a sudden the mom is expected to do everything, while the dad pitches in here and there. She calls it becoming “gender Republicans”—a nifty phrase, if perhaps a little unfair to all the feminist Republicans out there, who really do exist.
I knew that I had enough energy and devotion for two, if it turned out that Bill wasn’t a co-equal in the child-raising department. But I really hoped that wouldn’t happen. Our marriage had always been a true partnership. Though he was governor and then president—jobs that would seem to “beat” a lot of others, if you were the kind of person who ranked jobs like that—my career was important to me, too. So was my time and, more broadly, my identity. I couldn’t wait to become a mother, but I didn’t want to lose everything else about myself in the becoming. I was counting on my husband not just to respect that but also to join me in guarding against it.
So it was a wonderful thing when Chelsea arrived, and Bill dove into parenting with characteristic gusto. We went to the hospital with Bill clutching the materials from the Lamaze classes we had attended together. When it turned out that Chelsea was breech, he fought to be in the operating room with me and hold my hand during the C-section. Being governor came in handy when he asked to be the first father ever permitted by that hospital to do so. After we brought her home, he handled countless midnight feedings and diaper changes. We took turns making sure the parade of family and friends who wanted to spend time with Chelsea were looked after. As our daughter grew up, we both read her good-night stories. We both got to know her teachers and coaches. Even when Bill became president, he rearranged his schedule as much as he could to have dinner with us nearly every night that he was in Washington. And when he was somewhere else in the world, he’d call Chelsea to talk about her day and go over her homework with her.
Our daughter adored her father more and more. As she entered adolescence, I wondered if that would change at all. I remembered how my own dad and I grew somewhat distant from each other once I became a teenager. I provoked him with a lot of fiery political arguments. He was at a loss to navigate the occasionally stormy seas of teenage girlhood. Would that happen with Chelsea and Bill? As it turned out, no. He lived for their debates; the fiercer the better. He didn’t leave me to deal with the “girl stuff”: heartache, self-esteem, safety. He was right there with us.
Did I handle more of the family responsibilities, especially while Bill was president? Of course. This was something we’d talked through before he ran, and I was more than up for it. But I never felt like I was alone in the work of raising our wonderful daughter. And I know a lot of wives of busy men who would say otherwise. Bill wanted to be a great president, but that wouldn’t have mattered to him if he wasn’t also a great dad.
Every time I see the two of them laugh over some private joke that only they know … every time I overhear a conversation between them, two lightning-quick minds testing each other … every time I see him look at her with love and devotion … I’m reminded again that I chose exactly the right person to have a family with.
My marriage to Bill Clinton was the most consequential decision of my life. I said no the first two times he asked me. But the third time, I said yes. And I’d do it again.
I hesitated because I wasn’t quite prepared for marriage. I hadn’t figured out what I wanted my future to be yet. And I knew that by marrying Bill, I would be running straight into a future far more momentous than any other I’d likely know. He was the most intense, brilliant, charismatic person I had ever met. He dreamed big. I, on the other hand, was practical and cautious. I knew that marrying him would be like hitching a ride on a comet. It took me a little while to get brave enough to take the leap.
We’ve been married since 1975. We’ve had many, many more happy days than sad or angry ones. I know some people wonder why we’re still together. I heard it again in the 2016 campaign: that “we must have an arrangement” (we do; it’s called a marriage); that I helped him become president and then stayed so he could help me become president (no); that we lead completely separate lives, and it’s just a marriage on paper now (he is reading this over my shoulder in our kitchen with our dogs underfoot, and in a minute he will reorganize our bookshelves for the millionth time, which means I will not be able to find any of my books, and once I learn the new system, he’ll just redo it again, but I don’t mind because he really loves to organize those bookshelves).
I don’t believe our marriage is anyone’s business. Public people should be allowed to have private lives, too. But I know that a lot of people are genuinely interested. Maybe you’re flat-out perplexed. Maybe you want to know how this works because you are married and would like it to last 40 years or longer, and you’re looking for perspective. I certainly can’t fault you on that.
I don’t want to delve into all the details, because I really do want to hold on to what’s left of my privacy as much as I can. But I will say this: Bill has been an extraordinary father to our beloved daughter and an exuberant, hands-on grandfather to our two grandchildren. I look at Chelsea and Charlotte and Aidan and I think, We did this. That’s a big deal.
He has been my partner in life and my greatest champion. He never once asked me to put my career on hold for his. He never once suggested that maybe I shouldn’t compete for anything—in work or politics—because it would interfere with his life or ambitions. There were stretches of time in which my husband’s job was unquestionably more important than mine, and he still didn’t play that card. I have never felt like anything but an equal. Bill is completely unbothered by having an ambitious, opinionated, occasionally pushy wife. In fact, he loves me for it.
Long before I thought of running for public office, he was saying, “You should do it. You’d be great at it. I’d love to vote for you.” He helped me believe in this bigger version of myself. Bill was a devoted son-in-law and always made my parents feel welcome in our home. Toward the end of my mother’s life, when I wanted her to move into our house in Washington, he said yes without hesitation. Though I expected nothing less, this meant the world to me. I know so many women who are married to men who—though they have their good qualities—can be sullen, moody, irritated at small requests, and generally disappointed with everyone and everything. Bill Clinton is the opposite. He has a temper, but he’s never mean. And he’s funny, friendly, unflappable in the face of mishaps and inconveniences, and easily delighted by the world—remember those balloons at the convention? He is fabulous company.
We’ve certainly had dark days in our marriage. You know all about them—and please consider for a moment what it would be like for the whole world to know about the worst moments in your relationship. There were times that I was deeply unsure about whether our marriage could or should survive. But on those days, I asked myself the questions that mattered most to me: Do I still love him? And can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself— twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes. So I kept going.
On our first date, we went to the Yale University Art Gallery to see a Mark Rothko exhibit. The building was closed, but Bill talked our way in. When I think about that afternoon—seeing the art, hearing the stillness all around us, giddy about this person whom I had just met but somehow knew would change my life—it still feels magical, and I feel happy and lucky all over again.
I still think he’s one of the most handsome men I’ve ever known. I’m proud of him: proud of his vast intellect, his big heart, the contributions he has made to the world. I love him with my whole heart. That’s more than enough to build a life on.
The morning after the election, Bill and I both wore purple. It was a nod to bipartisanship (blue plus red equals purple). The night before, I had hoped to thank the country wearing white—the color of the suffragettes—while standing on a stage cut into the shape of the United States under a vast glass ceiling. Instead, the white suit stayed in the garment bag.
After I delivered my concession speech, I hugged as many people in the ballroom as possible—lots of old friends and devoted campaign staffers, many of their faces wet with tears. I was dry-eyed and felt calm and clear. My job was to smile, be strong for everyone, and show America that life went on and our republic would endure. A life spent in the public eye has given me lots of practice at that. I wear my composure like a suit of armor, for better or worse. In some ways, it felt like I had been training for this latest feat of self-control for decades.
After delivering hugs and smiling so long and hard that my face ached, I asked my senior team to go back to our headquarters in Brooklyn and make sure everyone was OK. One final wave to the crowd, and Bill and I got into the backseat of a Secret Service van and were driven away.
I could finally let my smile drain away. We were mostly quiet. Every few minutes, Bill would repeat what he had been saying all morning: “I’m so proud of you.” To that he now added, “That was a great speech. History will remember it.”
I loved him for saying it, but I didn’t have much to say in return. I felt completely and totally depleted. And I knew things would feel worse before they started feeling better.
It takes about an hour to drive from Manhattan to our home in Chappaqua. I absolutely love our old house. It’s cozy, colorful, full of art, and every surface is covered with photos of the people I love best in the world. That day, the sight of our front gate was pure relief to me. All I wanted to do was get inside, change into comfy clothes, and maybe not answer the phone ever again.
I’ll confess that I don’t remember much about the rest of that day. I put on yoga pants and a fleece. Our two sweet dogs followed me from room to room, and at one point, I took them outside and just breathed the cold, rainy air. The question blaring in my head was “How did this happen?” Fortunately, I had the good sense to realize that diving into a campaign postmortem right then would be about the worst thing I could do to myself.
Losing is hard for everyone, but losing a race you thought you would win is devastating. I remember when Bill lost his reelection as governor of Arkansas in 1980. He was so distraught at the outcome that I had to go to the hotel where the election-night party was held to speak to his supporters on his behalf. For a good while afterward, he was so depressed that he practically couldn’t get off the floor. That’s not me. I keep going. I also stew and ruminate. I run through the tape over and over, identifying every mistake—especially those made by me. When I feel wronged, I get mad, and then I think about how to fight back.
On that first day, I just felt tired and empty. The reckoning was still to come.
At some point, we ate dinner. We FaceTimed with our grandchildren, two-year-old Charlotte and her baby brother, Aidan, born in June 2016. I was reassured to see their mom. I knew Chelsea was hurting for me, which in turn hurt to think about, but those kids are an instant mood boost for all of us. We quietly drank them in, that day and every day after. After sleeping hardly at all the night before, I climbed into our bed at midday for a nice, long nap. I also went to bed early that night and slept in the next morning. I could finally do that.
I avoided the phone and email that first day. I suspected, correctly, that I was receiving a virtual avalanche of messages, and I couldn’t quite handle it—couldn’t handle everyone’s kindness and sorrow, their bewilderment and their theories for where and why we had fallen short. Eventually, I’d dive in. But for now, Bill and I kept the rest of the world out. I was grateful for the one billionth time that I had a husband who was good company not just in happy times but sad ones as well.

Forgive or Forget II

Forgive or Forget II
[Having lunch with an old friend│Simon D&Christian Yu]

◇ Forgive or Forget I

Christian remembered watching you as you left the party. The obvious hurt, etched on your face as you got into the car with Kiseok. He felt so helpless. It was pretty obvious to anyone with eyes what was happening, but Kiseok was still trying to cover his tracks. 

He couldn’t even pretend he was any better since it wasn’t like he didn’t have an ulterior motive. You were beautiful, fun, and he wished more than anything that he got your number that night…

It took you a few days to finally forgive Kiseok about his little antics at the event. But much like any other time, he charmed his way out of sleeping on the couch and back into your heart. You pouted as Kiseok clipped on a new charm onto your bracelet. “Don’t be mad Jagiya…” he nuzzled your cheek, lacing his fingers with yours. “You know you’re my girl right?” he whispered lowly in that voice you loved. 

“I know…” you groaned looking at the little star charm on your bracelet. “Why do you only ever give me a charm after we fight? It’s never on an anniversary or something.”

“Because” he pecked your jaw. “We have more fights than we have had anniversaries and I like to spoil my girl.” he grinned against your skin. “Do you like it?”

“Shut up” you groaned, trying to not smile at that smug grin of his. He ran his hand up your thigh, giving it a little squeeze but you swatted him away. “I’m still not ok. That girl….she wanted you.”

“And? Does that mean I want her? I can’t help what other people want. But I can help what I want.” he smiled, caressing our chin and giving you a little peck. “The only thing I ever want.” kiss. “My one and only.” kiss. “You got that?”

“Yeah….I know…But still, I don’t like it…I hate it…why’d you have to let her touch you like that…?” you sighed looking away, pulling back just slightly.

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I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you

For @nerdyadventures Happy birthday my friend, I’m 10 days late and I made you beta this but this is for you and for keeping up with my texts all the time and humoring me and texting me back. You’re wonderful and I can’t it to be January so we can hang out in Disneyland.

This is the start of a hopefully 3 part story. I hope you guys like it.


Piper was applying lipstick to her lips while Sally and Hazel worked on her hair but Annabeth was hardly paying attention to them, her brain kept thinking about what was about to happen… in less than an hour she would stop being Annabeth Chase and she would become Annabeth Jackson. In less than an hour, she would be marrying the love of her life. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep the butterflies in her belly at bay.

It had been so long since Percy had caused her butterflies but it wasn’t a bad thing, after all, they had been together for almost eight years and known each other for eleven. Percy didn’t give her butterflies anymore but he gave her a feeling of safety, love, home, happiness and that was better than any butterfly. She felt weirdly calm, she never thought this was how she would be feeling moments away from her wedding, like any bride she had her bridezilla moments but they didn’t last long, not when they usually ended in Percy’s arms, his voice soothing the stress away, joking how they could elope in any moment, how the only thing that matters was their love.      

“You look beautiful, honey.” Sally’s voice brought her back from her thoughts, her future mother-in-law had tears in her eyes. Annabeth looked at her reflection in the mirror, two beautiful braids worked as a headband and they ended in a messy bun with small white flowers braided into it, Piper had given her a beautiful but minimal makeover, hints of gold framed her eyelids, her lips had a peachy color on them and her cheeks were covered in light pinks and she looked, well, she looked like the blushing bride she wasn’t. “But you are missing something.”

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Electric Souls

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary : Peter Parker and (y/n) have been best friends since, well forever. And it’s no secret that (y/n) has been harboring the stupidest crush on him. And besides, he never really noticed her. Not like she wanted him to. Because he only seemed to have eyes for Liz Allen. 

A/N: I’ve been imaging this for a while so I hope to make it a series. Enjoy! Also, if there’s any flashbacks they’ll be in italics. And this will be in first person POV but will occasionally switch to third person

Warnings: light swearing, probably some angst, mentions of bullying, really long

    Chocolate eyes. Adorable curly hair. Faint freckles. The absolute cutest smile. Yep, that was Peter Parker. He was my best friend. And sadly, I’m sure that’s all he’d ever be to me. Honestly, I really needed to get over him. I just need to value the friendship we have, not ruin it because I have these dumb ass feelings. That’s what Michelle told me anyways. I should probably listen to her more often, she gives good advice. 

   “(Y/N)!” I turned my attention to Ned, who was running down the hall to me. He stopped for a moment once he reached me, catching his breath. “I got a new lego set! Doctor Who. 21,304 pieces.” I watched as he spoke excitedly, finding his smile contagious. 

    “Ned, I love Doctor Who, but you know I’m the absolute worst  at building these things.” He nodded with a sigh. 

   “I know, last time you got so frustrated you let yourself collapse onto the deathstar.” I scrunched my nose at the memory. Him and Peter had thought it was hilarious except for the fact that the deathstar we had spent hours putting together was now destroyed in a heap beneath me. I, on the other hand thought it was just painful. 

    “Oh no, her nose is scrunched. What are we talking about?” Peter seemed to have come up from nowhere. I jumped, my heart practically doing a somersault. “Aw,” he laughed, “Did I scare you?” I put my hand over my chest. 

    “Jesus Parker, I swear you come out of nowhere.” He just laughed, his face scrunching up in that adorable way that it always does. Then he turned back to Ned.

    “So what are we talking about?” 

    “The time (y/n) collapsed onto the deathstar,” I dragged a hand over my face as Ned excitedly went over the memory with Peter. Peter started laughing so much he almost snorted. I noted the looks our classmates gave us as they passed us down the hall. It’s not that it bothered me, at this point I was quite used to it. Our small friend group had never been popular, much less fit in. Most of the time I considered us the outcasts of Midtown. It only made sense with all the remarks and looks we received from everyone else in the school.

    “Pete it wasn’t that funny,” I rolled my eyes at his incessant giggling but couldn’t help but laugh myself. He gave me another bright-eyed smile. 

   “Oh it was that funny.” Ned gave a nod to support his statement. I rolled my eyes at the both of them before lightly punching each of their shoulders. 

    “I hate you guys.” Peter opened his mouth to reply, but the chime of the bell cut him off. I grabbed the books I needed from my locker and left waving and giving the boys a beautiful view of my middle finger. 

   The rest of the day wasn’t so bad. All I had to do was avoid people like Flash and Liz. It wasn’t that Liz was rude or anything like that. She was actually really nice. It was just that, well, she was all Peter ever seemed to talk or think about. And as selfish as this is, I just can’t bear to be around the girl who Peter dreams about loving. 

    “Earth to (y/n),” I shifted my gaze up to Michelle, who pulled me out of my reverie. She squinted her eyes at me, lowering her book. 

    “Sorry I-”

    “Was thinking about Peter again?” I froze as she finished my sentence. She raised her eyebrows at me. 

    “I- I was not-” She gave me another look and I sighed. “Alright. I was.” I let my head fall down onto the math book that I was supposed to be reading. Michelle sighed herself. She was probably disappointed in me. She probably saw me as a project. Something to work on and fix. Her goal was to get me completely over Peter. And I understood why too. 

    “Alright listen here. You’re going to focus now. No stupid boys. Just Math. Okay?” I gave her a nod, she was right after all. I really needed to focus on the important things. Like my schoolwork. And not like Peter Parker. 

    Peter blew a puff of air out as he looked up at the clock. Just fifteen minutes left. He tapped his pencil before lazily continuing to scribble notes of what his teacher was blabbing on about. He desperately wanted to get out of class. He couldn’t wait to talk to (y/n). She was always there to listen to him about anything. She was amazing really. Constantly there for him no matter what. She even listened to him go on and on about Liz. But he couldn’t help notice than whenever he did, her usual bright eyes seemed to sink into a sadder darker shade. But why would she be sad about it? Was she jealous of Liz? No, that’d make no sense. He let out another sigh, letting his gaze shift back to the clock. Five minutes left. 

    There was only five minutes left now before we were free to go home. And then once we got home we’d have another 3 hours worth of schoolwork to do. Fun. After those final painful minutes of note taking, the bell rang. I couldn’t have packed up my bag fast enough. 

     “Woah there (y/n) slow down,” I slowed my pace so Michelle could catch up with me. I shook my head and let out a breath that I didn’t know I had been holding. 

    “Sorry I just- I just needed to get out of there. I’ve had enough time in this prison for today.” Michelle raised her eyebrows into a surprised expression. 

    “I thought you loved school.” She was right, yet again. While most people complained, I never really minded school or having to sit in class to learn stuff. If there was anything that bothered me, it’d have to be the homework. Because when you have hours of work to do after school, there’s hardly any time to actually live

    “You’re right, It’s just been a long day I guess. I just need to-”

    “(y/n)!” Michelle and I turned at the sudden voice that interrupted my sentence. We were met by the sight of Peter running toward us frantically. Once he reached us he took one deep breath before speaking again. “Hey um I wanted to talk to (y/n) about some stuff.” He scratched the back of his neck with a nervous look. Michelle looked at Peter for a second, only making him fidget more. 

    “Yeah, alright.” She gave me a small pat on the shoulder before walking off in the other direction. Peter gave me a nervous smile. 

    “Sorry about her,” I shrugged and Peter just laughed. “So, what did you want to talk to me about, Pete?” 

    “Oh yeah, so I um…. Iaskedlizouttohomecomingandshesaidyes,” I blinked, trying to figure out what in the hell Peter had just said.

    “Alright, so let’s try saying that one more time. But this time, let’s try and say it so I can actually comprehend it.” He let out another nervous laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh along with him, leaning my head on his arm. 

   “So,” he took a deep breath, “I asked Liz out to homecoming and she said yes.” I froze then, unable to make my feet take any more steps. I could practically feel my heart tear again. It seemed like a new tear appeared each time he spoke of his affection for this girl to me. I lifted my head from his shoulder. He looked at me, awaiting any kind of response. I couldn’t help but notice how he bit his lip in anticipation, it only made the pit I was feeling inside me bigger and darker. 

    “That’s… great Peter. That’s really great. I’m happy for you.” I tried to pull my lips up into a smile for him. “Now I, I should get home.Goodbye Peter.”    

—  

    Peter watched as she left. He couldn’t help but feel a sort of emptiness where she had her head resting on his shoulder. The sad smile that she had given him was replaying in his mind. Why was she so suddenly sad and broken looking? And why did she have such an unbelievably strong effect on him?  

    “What did you tell her?” He jumped at the sudden sound of Michelle’s voice. She was standing next to him. Now he understood what (y/n) meant whenever she jumped at his presence. 

    “What?”

    “What did you say to her? Se looked upset.” Michelle looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. 

    “I told her I’m taking Liz to homecoming. That’s all.” Michelle gave him a sad look before resting a hand on his shoulder. 

    “Poor Peter. You never see what’s right in front of you do you?” And with that, she walked off. He thought about that statement for a long time. He never saw what’s right in front of him? What did that have to do with anything? It probably didn’t occur to him until he was sitting on top of a rooftop, just finishing his run for the day as Queens’ one and only Spider-man. 

    “Hey Happy, It’s Peter,” He spoke into the phone, his legs dangling over the roof, “I stopped a robbery today. I also stopped a guy from getting mugged. And I- I realized I’ve been in love with the wrong girl this whole time..”


A/N: Well it’s not fantastic but I hope you guys like it. If it’s popular enough maybe I’ll write more :) Also, check out my Wattpad : @ sociopathhh 

Kitty King // T’Challa x Reader (drabble)

Pairing: T’Challa x Reader
Warning: MAXIMUM FLUFF, Soft!T’Challa because why the f not
Word Count: 500

Anonymous asked: T'Challa fluff where the reader is really sick and gets all clingy and never wants him to leave and he just stays and takes care of her like the cute kitty king he is

A/N: I mixed quite a few common Kenyan Sheng/Slang words and Swahili here since Wakandan is a fictional language that I don’t speak. ALSO HELLO HI HOW ARE YOU (this is one of the first requests I didn’t totally go overboard on)

Originally posted by somanygorgeousmen

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Okay wait but can I address something about this real quick? Like this was the very last we saw of Lars, and I couldn’t help but notice the way he is positioned. I get it’s supposed to be for Steven to be able to reach his head, but this is different than the way he is posed now. This is more like a knight bowing to his king/queen. This raises some questions for myself, such as if Lars will be somehow eternally tied to Steven the same way Lion sort of was for Rose? Will he serve in some big final battle alongside (i hope so)? I mean honestly who knows when we will ever find out what happens to this sweet cinnamon roll, but I just thought it was interesting how Lars made such a big effort to bow down to Steven instead of just bending forward like he did the first time. It can obviously be noted that Lars will have a much bigger impact on the series than he already did before, but it might be in an unexpected way of sorts. Since Lars doesn’t need to eat, will he be able to live for as long as a gem, or at least as long as Lion? He should be able to have the same or similar powers, maybe even the portal thing as well. Or maybe he will have his own special power. After all, just like Steven was the first and only of his kind, Lion is the only prior knowledge we have to go back on for Lars. Either way I’m super excited and I hope that Lars can kick more butt in the future and hopefully find a way to help Steven and the Crystal Gems. Also can we talk about those Off Colors though? so wonderful.

Anime/Manga Shoutouts

Originally posted by mobpsycho100

Mob Psycho 100 - Very nice animation, likable and somewhat down to Earth protagonist, interesting characters all around. The protagonist reminds me a bit of Haruka from Free! and Kuroko. Fun fact: This is made by the creator of One Punch Man. Shoutout to the animation in the opening. Definitely should have won an award. 12 episodes. Hoping for a sequel anime. It has an ongoing manga but..the art for that…isn’t the best…Yeah. I personally find it hard to read because of the art alone. Everything else is fine. But those shaky lines….I wish the fanbase was bigger :/

Pandora Hearts - Great story telling, all of the plot twists will blow your mind, very nice artwork, an emotion experience that made me cry many times, especially during the finale (and not just because it was ending). Will forever recommend to anyone and everyone. Similar to Black Butler. It has 104 chapters and finished in March 2015. Has an anime adaptation, but it ends in filler, doesn’t cover a lot of the bigger twists later on and is quite old at this point. 

Originally posted by shiromahou

AKB0048- Think Love Live but more dramatic, in space, battle lolis and with more plot. It’s quite similar to Pretty Rhythm in how there is an plot, the main characters have emotional distress for good reasons plus switches to 3D animation aren’t that jarring. 

The Monogatari Series- My current craze. Definitely not for anime newcomers. Follows and deconstructs the harem anime elements at the same time. The harem is very subtle. Excellent character development (Shoutout to Senjougahara), great visuals (SPECIAL shoutout to Kizumonogatari. Holy hell, the quality is almost too HD for my eyes), interesting story arcs and great characters (10/10 lolis). Has quite a bit of talking, so if you enjoy action 24/7 like shounen, this is not the series for you. The timeline can get quite confusing, but its best just to watch the seasons in airing order. This is SHAFT’s passion project, so prepare for some mind screwy visuals at points. Has some very Japanese puns and wordplay. Quite a bit of gore occasionally. The main character has had his asskicked by almost every girl in that image above and more. 

From the New World (Shin Sekai Yori)- This anime is…an experience. This is that one hidden gem. It has various psychological elements that are very well done and leave a sense of eeriness and mystery throughout. Oh, and prepare to question your own morality and humanity afterwards. Basically, humans have evolved to the point of having mind powers like being able to move things with their minds and lighting them on fire with a thought. The main character has just come of age for her powers and in placed in a class to learn more about them/how to control them/learning in general. However, she experiences things that make her question the present and past of her people and humanity that her village has kept secret. But the truth is much darker and morbid than expected. This anime follows the characters from 12 years old to about 26 years old. A very good 25 episodes. Do not take this series lightly. 

Kyokai no Kanata (Beyond the Boundary)- One of my top anime of all time and one of the only ones I will always be okay with rewatching. Great story telling, beautiful art and animation (bless kyoani), interesting characters (mostly) and a good balance of light hearted stuff and emotional backstory/plot. There’s a romantic subplot-ish, but its kinda like plot with romantic overtones? idk how to describe it exactly. Has 12 episodes and one movie sequel that everyone should absolutely see and watch the scene after the credits.

Durarara- I could watch it again. VERY big and diverse cast of characters. It’s very easy to lose track of who’s who in the first few episodes. All of them are interesting and have some depth, though. There’s not really a definite main character for this, honestly. The perspective switches quite a bit. Very good story arcs and characters (and development). The animation can get a big dodgy at times, but for the most part, it’s alright. Definitely gets an upgrade in the sequels. This might just be the example of Supernatural Things in Daily Life genre. Plus gangs. Has a second season that’s broken into cours: Duarara!!X2 Sho/Ten/Ketsu. Has a sequel as a light novel series only (Durarara!! SH). Shoutout to Mikado for having the most badass protagonist character development I’ve seen in a long while. 

2

“Why are we fighting about this now?” Harry asked and sat up. He ran a hand through his hair and Sophia could tell he was as frustrated as she was.

“I don’t know,” Sophia said. “Maybe we should just go to sleep and talk about it tomorrow.”

“I think we should talk about it now. It’s not good to go to bed angry,” Harry said, his voice small.

“I’m not angry, I’m just… a little pissed off.”

“That’s the same thing.”

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So my lock screen collage was much better well received than I was expecting so, since so many of you liked it and since it is a certain Mr. Scientia’s birthday ‘today’ (an hour off in my timezone but its the 7th elsewhere in the world rn so who the fuck cares  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I am sharing my non-lock screened version for all of y’all because everyone needs a beautiful phone to wake up to in the morning. 

Tumblr is probably going to bollocks up the picture so here is an imgur link to it.  It was made for iPhone 7 plus resolution (1080x1920) so it should scale to any other size nicely.  

Since it didn’t take half as long as I expected I am also tempted to do one for my ipad so they can match once I have had the chance to get onto my platstation and rummage for even more screenshots for the bigger size (ahahaha i say this like I might not have enough ahahahahahaha I have enough to sink the titanic all over again….) If I do you can be sure I will share that as well o/

How to take care of your spirit companion?

@starryskywitch asked: “In a recent ask you mentioned that spirits need to eat, could you explain how that works? And also maybe the basics of taking care of a spirit if you’d be so kind? C: “


I’ve been meaning to write a post on this for a long time. Then I saw someone did it already xD http://magic-for-the-masses.tumblr.com/post/160143675923/do-you-know-of-any-guids-for-taking-care-of-your  ( @magic-for-the-masses ) But I still decided to go ahead and write my own.


I think a good way to look at this is by taking into account the pyramid of needs. By the way, I’m no psychologist, so I don’t know if this is severely outdated or not, but I think it’s a good basis. (For further reading into this, you can look up Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.)


So the base is physiological needs. Food, water, warmth, rest. Or in the case of your spirit, whatever they need to drink/eat so they don’t starve, whatever weather and environment they need (if any is fine, okay. Mr.Dragon doesn’t *need* a lava river, but he’s definitely happy in one.), and time to rest. (I go deeper on what they eat here: http://thedragonscholar.tumblr.com/post/161007882706/what-do-spirits-eat-upg )


But then you think “But Scholar! I *have* to build wards around me and my companion for them to be safe! That’s vital!” And yes, but not physiological. Apparently this person first stated there are basic needs, and then made subdivisions. The wards fall into safety needs. A secured astral place, or well, your own home, with wards and barriers around it. The security of knowing they won’t be eaten up by a bigger, badder spirit at any moment. Even if you’re not into witchcraft, you should learn methods of spiritual/psychic protection, in order to take better care of your spirits. (Stating this since I usually see spiritual protection being talked about in the context of witchcraft.)


After that there come the psychological needs: first, feeling loved and like you belong. Then, the self esteem.


If you’re skilled at spirit communication, and a demonstrative person, you’ll make them feel loved easily, if you actually like them. If you have trouble showing love, or communicating with spirits, someways to show them they’re loved are:

-Offerings, in every shape or form.

-Daydreaming about them. Thinking about them. Seeing something and go ‘I bet Betsy would like this.’ They can feel it. They know.

-If you have an altar dedicated to them, or part of an altar, keep it clean, neat, re-design it, play with it… It’s a space in your life you’ve dedicated to them. By taking care of it, you’re taking care of them.


Then, the self esteem. Feelings of accomplishment and prestige. For the accomplishment thing, it’s good to ‘assign them tasks’, or ask them for help with certain stuff. X spirit will act as your body guard. Y spirit will help you with your self esteem and pick cute outfits. J spirit will give your food extra flavor and help maintain a clean house. They get to do stuff with you and for you, and get praised in return (you should praise and thank them!), making them feel accomplished.


For the prestige thing… I’m not sure if what I’m thinking of falls in this category. In other pyramids, I’ve seen clothes and shelter listed in the basic needs. And it’s somewhat true. Clothes and shelter makes it so a person doesn’t die of hypothermia, for example. But just really basic sheltering and clothing fulfills that need. IMO, clothes and shelter give them prestige… In their own eyes. Those are things that can elevate their self esteem. A big house filled with toys made my kid spirits really happy. Changing their old, outdated clothes for new, modern clothes (and leather jackets!) makes them feel badass, and good about themselves. Even my cat spirit asked for clothes (and we designed it from scratch and came up with the most disgusting piece of cat clothing ever and we destroyed it and swore to never do that again).


The peak of the pyramid is about self actualization and self fulfillment, including creative endeavors.


Some of my spirit companions, after watching me doing it for so long, got into tabletop roleplaying xD It’s a creative endeavor that makes them really happy. I just leave RPG books on my altar, and Mr.GuardianAngel learns the game and acts as the dungeon master for the other spirits. I wanted to tell this because it’s very endearing <3 And so you remember the spirits actually go and do things in their own.


But some ways you can directly involve yourself in fulfilling these last needs are:

-Watch informative videos and documentaries with them, on themes of their interest. For some time Mr.Dragon got really curious about how other humans were, and we watched videos of people reading their old diaries for like a week.

-If you write or draw, tell them they can influence your creation, and let them create with you.

-If they feel like they can write/draw on their own, let them, and show interest when they show it to you. My companions tell me about the stories they write/roleplay through tarot cards. I just pull all the cards I feel I need and through reading them I get to know the story.

-If you astral travel, travel with them to locations neither of you know (with safety measures please!) so you can learn together.


To anyone who has read this far, thanks for reading. I hope this is useful for you.