i should be doing homework but all I want to do is sleep

I mentioned Pride and Prejudice fanfiction, and that made me go back through my old fanfiction.net account and check out my old favorites, and that made me want to make a rec post, so here we are. All of these are complete, because I wouldn’t do you wrong like that ;) 

Lola’s Pride and Prejudice Fanfiction Rec Masterpost

In no particular order, *** = favorites

***A Searing Acquaintance - THE FAVORITE OF ALL FAVORITES. This one absolutely deserves to be first on the list. IT. IS. INCREDIBLE. It’s a modern au, I don’t even want to describe it because you should just go read it yourself. I was following this one as it was being published, and it is straight up beautiful. Will definitely make you cry. It’s amazing. Rated M - 148,000 words

Lizzy Bennet and the Pompous Prat - P&P Hogwarts au!!! Pretty good. Rated T - 108,000 words

Symposium - Modern coffee shop au of sorts. Darcy works in publishing. It’s worth a read. Could have used more making out though, if I’m being honest. Rated T - 69,000 words

Obsidian - P&P beauty and the beast au!!! It’s been a long time since I read it, but I remember it being good. Rated T - 62,000 words

It Only Stands to Reason - Regency era au where Mr. Bennet was in the navy, so Lizzy and Jane have different upbringings from most ladies. But they move to Derbyshire, and well, feelings ensue. Rated T - 100,000 words

***A Rush of Blackbirds - A Regency era au that will give you massive feels. Seriously, so many feels. Just read it it’s good. Rated T - 77,000 words

***When He Comes Back - P&P World War II au short fic!!! Darcy and Elizabeth meet because of Jane and Bingley, spend the summer arguing, and then Darcy expresses his feelings right before they leave for the war. Lizzy figures herself out while he’s gone and hopes he doesn’t die before he can come back. It’s g o r g e o u s. Rated T - 15,000 words. 

***Closer - Don’t even talk to me about this fic, I could live in this universe forever. Modern au where Elizabeth is the principal ballerina for a company in New York, Darcy is a doctor, her leg gets injured in a snow storm and he does his best to fix it, but it destroys her ballet career. Seriously beautiful, amazing, wonderful. Did I mention Darcy is british? So you can imagine him with a hot accent. Rated T - 137,000 words, also has a companion piece called The Space Between with some deleted scenes. 

Marry in Haste Version 1 - Regency era au where Elizabeth was in an abusive marriage with a wealthy earl before she met Darcy. Her husband is dead now but she has trust issues, obvi. Really great fic. Rated T - 56,000 words

Marry in Haste Version 2 - The author wrote a second version of the same fic!! This one is built on the same premise as the first, except that Elizabeth’s husband is still alive, so she’s trapped in a terrible marriage when she meets Darcy. Our wonderful hero figures out the situation when he sees bruises on Elizabeth, and offers sanctuary for her in his home. This one is a lot more action-packed than the first, complete with duels and everything. I recommend both!! (This one also deserves a trigger warning for rape/abuse, but the author does a super good job of letting you know when those scenes are going to happen so you can avoid them if you like.) Rated M - 98,000 words

***Shine - The first full-length P&P fic I ever read! Modern au where Elizabeth meets Darcy the summer before she starts college, they have abrasive feelings that result in tension, and she doesn’t realize he goes to her university until she shows up on her first day. Turns out he’s a super hot lacrosse player, and he’s way different than who she thought he was. Seriously great fic with some nice making out and discussions of Darcy’s abs. Rated T - 110,000 words. 

i’m trying to write a song about sandra bland but its so hard and all of my words feel inadequate or something and i have so much homework to do but i can’t get up the motivation to read or type anything of academic significance and i’m bored and lonely but at the same time i don’t want anyone to come over i want to be alone and i don’t know why i keep smoking cigs because they make me feel lightheaded and dumb and byron is sick and i’m doing it any way 

and i’m so exhausted physically and mentally and my birthday was so underwhelming but when is it not? and like at least i didn’t have a panic attack i’m just writing here and now because i don’t have to worry about composition or run on sentences and maybe i should just go to sleep and worry about it tomorrow. but its not even 7pm i either won’t be able to fall asleep or i’ll feel like fucking dumbass for going to bed that early.

anyway i sent sam some snapchats sans makeup and he said that i looked “different in a good way” well i hope that’s a good thing because i should not be in a relationship with someone who has never seen my naked face. it feels more vulnerable than my naked body i think