the thing that gets me most abt mcu’s Lie is that,,,, there is 100% a way they could have had steve lie to tony and have it play out in a way that was 12049354859x more impactful and devastating and relevant to their actual character development. bc the way mcu chooses to go abt it, it just makes steve come off as a dick as far as tony is concerned ?? we get no insight into his thought process or his motivations re: tony, all we get is a ‘i’m sorry you were hurt’ letter and Fuck That tbh. if ur going to go this far to hurt someone i want to see actual emotional repercussions and the Guilt play out in real time.
bc it’s not like steve didn’t have His Reasons to lie to tony, i’m never going to deny that, i sympathise w/ his motives. tonys across the multiverse have lied to their steves, or committed sins of omission for a greater purpose, but we always saw how those emotional ramifications fucked them up. we saw the motivation + the aftermath of the Lie, the actual remorse they felt. they chose to do the bad thing and lie, knowing they’d hurt steve, but we always saw them struggling with the choice and Suffering for it. when these two lie to each other, the outcomes of not telling that person in the first place always manifest in much worse, much more volatile and destructive ways.
apart from a less shitty apology letter, mcu’s format doesn’t allow them to pull a ‘confession’ extra where the whole truth comes out and we see how badly steve was effected by What He Did. instead, knowing that they were building up to cw in the first place, mcu should’ve given us a friendship worth breaking apart in the 1st place. like my god, actual screentime or cinematic cues through the screenwriting/blocking/execution of scenes that showed us steve making this choice between honesty + keeping tony in the dark, steve being aware of, for starters, the huge impact the starks’ death had on tony. bc for fuckin real, you can straight-up lie to someone u consider nothing more than a coworker but u can’t then turn around and say ‘u know what i was trying to spare you’ like ???? spare them from what? if you barely knew that person in the first place how can you Possibly claim that you were trying, partly, to protect them too? what the fuq does steve know abt tony stark + his relationship with his parents anyway? was it not in the file he read that SHIELD first gave him in the avengers (2012) that his parents died in a car crash when he was 21;;;;;; is he not aware that tony is literally building and rolling out a multi million dollar technology based on dealing w/ the ptsd + trauma associated w/ that event?????????
tldr this is just me trying to @ myself to be less hypocritical bc the truth + telling the truth when it comes at the cost of huge sacrifice has been a problem for a lot of stevetony iterations and many of those times tony has been the guilty party. but i just fuckin wish mcu had given us a dynamic worth giving a shit abt instead of forcing this ‘i thought i was sparing you even tho we’re barely even friends outside of work’ bullshit at the expense of making their mcu steve rogers come off as completely insensitive, heartless and oblivious to someone he’s supposed to consider a friend + teammate
TBH all tyson really does want is indeed for gabe to dom him silly. he's like leaving the hints all over the place (insert that kim k meme here) and just waiting for gabe to pick them up. gabe probably already has but he keeps on teasing and messing with ty. and it's fucking ty up big time. like IMAGINE
ELINA I’M SCREECHING. I blame you for me falling into the hole that’s Tyson/Gabe when before I’d only ever thought of Dutchy/Gabe. But I can imagine, and I can imagine it so well 👀👀
“It’s been a long time since you’ve felt anything close to warmth, after all.”
“This is why it comes as a big shock, an unexpected surprise, to suddenly feel blazing heat just a small distance ahead.”
“It comes in the form of that excitable middle-schooler from a few months ago.”
“Loud and brazen, rude, are the words you use to describe him as you poke at him with your sharp tongue and smirks, getting off on the wrong foot with him right then and there.”
“You didn’t think you would come to regret as soon as you did, but you are.”
“You slowly start to add to the tags and labels you attach to him the longer to observe him. You do so carefully, but you do it nevertheless. You can’t help it.”
“You feel warm.”
“He is the sun, the light that attracts the moth with never-ending curiosity and failure to realise it will always burn just as it reaches its prize. It never learns from its mistakes and neither do you.”
“You can’t help but watch, can’t help but bask in the heat he directs at you from burning amber.”
“You want, need, him to look at you to feel that rush of pleasurable heat, chasing away the permanent chill inside you. But you can’t get him to, no matter what, so you finish what you started.”
Alright, I told myself going in to FINALLY SEEING HAMILTON that I would keep an eye out for things that struck me/moved me that I didn’t anticipate from listening to the soundtrack so that I could share it with people who couldn’t make it out to Broadway (it’s a fucking ARM AND A LEG, bruh). In no particular order:
1. During the beginning of Farmer Refuted, Mulligan keeps pushing Hamilton forward to say something and Burr keeps pushing Hamilton back and Hamilton is just grinning like an idiot caught in this weird tug-of-war until Lafayette shoves Burr out of the way.
2. When Hamilton starts talking during Farmer Refuted, Samuel Seabury literally hops off his stool, plonks it in front of Hamilton, and gets back on it to keep going until Hamilton jumps onto the stool with him and they try to shove each other off like toddlers.
3. Like me, you probably wondered why King George was onstage during ‘The Reynolds Pamphlet’ - it’s because when he finishes ‘I Know Him’ he literally pulls up a chair and sits on stage to giddily watch America implode like a petty ass bitch.
4. Speaking of King George, when he goes “I’m so blue!” during ‘What Comes Next’ he stomps his foot and the spotlight suddenly turns blue (Rory O’Malley is HILARIOUS, btw - he’s disgusted by everything).
5. The transition between ‘Cabinet Battle #2′ and ‘Washington On Your Side’ has Jefferson glowering alone on stage and Burr slowly emerging from the shadows going “It must be nice–” and Jefferson like jumps and his entire face crumples all ‘the FUCK did you come from??? who are you????’ it was HILLLAAAR.
6. Speaking of ‘Cabinet Battle #2′, the ending conversation between Jefferson and Hamilton was played WAY COLDER than in the cast recording (where it’s more taunting). “Daddy’s calling” was a humorless, ice cold punch to the gut and the exchange was lightning fast (I shipped them in that moment ngl shhhh).
7. Madison’s “France” in ‘Cabinet Battle #2′ is even funnier than it is in the cast recording Oak is a treasure.
8. Phillip dies in slow motion! And it’s not ruinous!!! At all!!!!
9. Lin is fucking losing it onstage as Hamilton when he’s apologizing to Eliza in ‘It’s Quiet Uptown’ and it’s 100X more emotional than the cast recording.
10. LAST BUT NOT LEAST LIKE IF YOU TAKE NOTHING ELSE OUT OF THIS LIST TAKE THIS: DURING ‘WHO LIVES WHO DIES WHO TELLS YOUR STORY’, WHEN EVERYONE IN THE CAST IS LOOKING UP AT THE LIGHTS DURING THAT FINAL HARMONY, LOOK. AT. BURR.
YOU WILL BE TEMPTED TO LOOK AT ELIZA. AT HAMILTON. AT EVERYONE. LOOK. AT. BURR.
EVERYONE ELSE LOOKS WONDROUS, SOLEMN, REFLECTIVE.
REMEMBERING A FRUITFUL LIFE.
BURR IS SOBBING.
FACE LEGIT CRACKED IN ANGUISH.
EYES TO THE SKY, TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE, CRUMPLED IN REGRET.
MY HEART STOPPED.
If I think of anything else I’ll write another one of these up, but basically, it’s every fucking inch as amazing as you hope it’s going to be. I was convinced I’d be let down, tbh - that it’d be less clear, less precise. The sound is crystal clear. The harmonies are glorious. Everyone is note perfect. It’s better, Jesus, it’s better.
Made myself a wishlist. 💕
I added a few things, now I have to weed out the stuff that I know I won’t wear or don’t really need. Kind of defies the purpose of a wishlist? 😅 Oh well… I added mostly stuff from ToonzShop that I plan to buy, their stuff looks absolutely amazing. 😍 They even added my country to the shipping list after I asked them nicely. 🌹
Ngl they are a bit pricey but I think it’s worth it? Still feeling a bit guilty on spending so much money. :/ I mean…their stuff costs around 350kn (including shipping) and most of the nice things I can buy at the stores here cost around 200-300 anyway. Damn the guilt. 😂 I want nice stuff so I’ll get it. I’ve been depriving myself from stuff I really want literally all my life, buying one dress or shirt every two-three months shouldn’t be such a problem…
Oh and that vitamin C candy I bought? Apparently one candy equals the amount of a daily dose. Silly me didn’t read the back of the packaging so I had two and got really nauseous. 😷 They didn’t put any warning labels on the packaging…reminds me of the whole “natural selection” thing. I think I’ve learned my lesson.
Also, I just downloaded Duolingo. They’re finally offering learning Russian! 💕 The only downside? The lessons are in Cyrillic. 😂 I can read most of it, but am not that good yet. The whole point of downloading Duolingo was to take a break from using Memrise. Now I’ll actually have to use both. 😅
I genuinely hope that one day we can play a married couple on screen as I’m convinced it will be really good. We’ve got years of good times behind us, we’ve had loads of arguments, and we’ve never had sex.