i ship it like no one's business

2

participating in RFVF17 & femslash february at the same time its called multitasking get with it!

Do what you want 'cause a pirate is....nervermind

Context:
We were playing a homebrew campaign (I was the Dm), the party (a warlock, a gunslinger/rogue, a paladin, and a mage) were hired to defend the merchant ship convoy.
After a quite intense naval battle they managed to defeat the pirates.
One more thing: The group split into two bands. The lawful and the trickster duo.

After the battle, the rogue and the paladin talked.

Paladin (of the God of Revenge and Justice):
Allright. I understand you want more gold from the merchants for your sevices. I also understand, yet I reeeeeaaallly dislike it, you are looting anyone’s corpse who dare to attack us. You want ridicously large amount wealth ‘cause you want to spend your old days busy in an alchemist lab. Got it. It is reasonable, you like eliminate your enemies from afar with your daggers or arrows. Also, I’m not making fun of - like the others - your bad habbit of shooting anything down that goes up.
However…I still have a thing that bothers me.

Gunslinger/rogue:
Tell me, my friend, Knight of Revenge!

Paladin:
Why?! Why did you?! For the sake of the snake-haired, damn-cursed, smutty-ass bitch goddess…
HAVE TO. STEAL. A PIRATE SHIP?!?!?

Note:
The paladin never ever failed to keep his composure, but in this moment.

Breakfast (Peter Quill x Reader)

Warnings: fluffy fluffy fluffy. Mentions of sex.
Paring: Peter Quill x Reader

You woke up in your bed to find that Peter wasn’t there. This wasn’t a shock to you. Honestly, it was more of a shock he spent the night in your room than anything else.

You two had this thing. You were friends, you were partners.. you were the freaking Guardians of the Galaxy. But there was this thing. This unspoken thing.

One night on the ship, you both were stressed. So much was going on, and you both started drinking. The next thing you know, you were kissing. Then, the next thing you know, you were in Peter’s bed.

Afterwards, you immediately freaked out thinking it would be so awkward and weird between you two now. But it wasn’t. It was literally like nothing had happened. And you were so thankful. You thought that would be it. But then, it happened again. And again. And again… Now it was just this thing that happened that you didn’t talk about. And you tried your best not to think about. But most of the time, you did.

Last night was a little different. Peter was being very generous to you in many ways. He had been nicer to you lately. He was never mean, but you felt he was complimenting you more. You noticed that night when he came to your room, he wasn’t focused on his needs. He made it clear he wanted you to feel good. You laid down afterwards and you were so tired. You just shut your eyes, ready for sleep. But you never heard Peter get up. Instead, he moved closer to you which made you open your eyes.

He was staring right at you. “Can I…” he said, trailing off. You looked at him, urging him to go on. “Can I stay tonight?”

You nodded, closing your eyes again. “It’s fine, Peter. I don’t care if you stay.” You say nonchalantly.

You assumed he was just comfortable and that he didn’t want to leave. Plus, it wasn’t that late, so maybe he was worried one of the team would see him leaving your room. But he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest.

Is Peter Quill cuddling right now? You have to be dreaming.

You just sat there with your eyes open and you knew your heart must be racing. You eventually fell asleep, very confused. But you decided to just go with it.

But now, here you are, in your bed alone and still bare from the night before. You get up and find Peter’s shirt from the night before on the floor. You stare at it a moment before deciding to throw it on. You grab some panties and head out in search of breakfast.

You stop by and press play on Peter’s awesome mix as you head to the kitchen.

The all so familiar beat sounded through the speaker, making you smile. This one was your favorite.

You nodded along and kind of danced your way to the kitchen. The beginning was slow, but the beat had picked up now. “Hell.. hell..” you sang, smiling. “What’s the matter with your mind and your sign and a ohhh..”

You began making some bacon and the song went on finally coming to your favorite part. “Cause you’re fine and you’re mine and you look so divine… come and get your love… come and get your loveee…”

You were really just enjoying this song and really jamming out. You go to check on your bacon, then someone slips their arms around your waist from behind your back, making you instinctively push them off and slam them into the fridge putting your spatula up to their neck. Your eyes soften as you realize who it is.

“Peter?” You ask.

He just starts laughing at you. You shove him and got back to your bacon. He’s still laughing. “What?!” You finally yell.

“What? Nothing,” he says, throwing his hands up in defense. “I was just wondering how you kill someone with a spatula. You gonna flip me with that thing?”

You roll your eyes, but then you realize something. You slam the spatula down and look over to him. “How long were you standing there watching me?”

He smirked. “Long enough. You’re a great dancer.”

You blush and get your bacon out of the skillet, putting it on a plate. You try to focus on the food in front of you instead of looking at Peter.

He comes over behind you and wraps his arms around your waist like before. He sways with you to the music. He leans down and whispers in your ear, “is that my shirt?”

You blush again, knowing he must think that you’re obsessed with him. Or crazy. He’s never going to want to…

Your thoughts were cut off by him turning you the face him. He tips your chin up to make you look at him. “You look beautiful.” He says, barely above a whisper. “Much better in it than I do.”

The song changed. It was now Strange Magic. He put his hands on your waist and pulled you away from the counter. You put one hand on his shoulder and grabbed his other hand. The two of you danced around and he just looked into your eyes. He pulled your hand up and spun you around and pulled you back into him. You literally felt like the breath was kicked out of you as you looked at him.

“And you say you’re not a dancer.” He whispered.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you, Quill.”

He smirked down at you. “With your spatula?” He said.

You pushed him, making him laugh more. You rolled your eyes and pulled out of his arms entirely. You go over and grab your plate of food and go sit at the table. You grab some orange juice and start eating. Peter comes over and sits down next to you. He’s looking on his tablet at the news you assumed.

You finished your breakfast and leaned back in your chair, looking over at Peter. You wondered where he went that morning. You wanted to ask, but you didn’t want to pry. You didn’t want to come off as “that girl”. You know… the clingy ones. The two of you weren’t even a couple. You were just friends… that danced in the kitchen while you have no pants on… that admire each other.. that have sex…

“Where did you run off to this morning?” You blurt out suddenly, surprising yourself and Peter.

He looked a little dumbfounded. Like he wasn’t expecting you to ask. “I just had some things to do around the ship. I got up when I usually do.” He said, simply.

You knew that was true. He was always busy at work.

“So, when are we going to talk about the fact that we’re more than friends?” You ask, wondering to yourself where this is coming from. You never reached out on such a limb before.

He literally spit out his coffee and dropped his tablet on the table, looking over at you. “Are we doing this? Talking about this?”

“Yep.”

“Okay… here we go,” he says. “The night that I kissed you… we both were so stressed out because of the whole Ego situation. It just kind of happened and it was a blur.”

You nod to him, urging him to continue.

“I just wasn’t expecting it to be anything more than two friends who got a little drunk and made a mistake. I wasn’t expecting it to happen again… and again… and ag-”

You reach over and punch his arm. He smirked at you. “You just kept begging for more.” You said.

“Oh, me? I was begging? What about you?” He says. “Oh, Peter! Please, I need you inside of me!” He continued in a high pitch moany voice.

You deadpanned him. “The night in the cockpit.” You said, simply.

He stopped smiling, and just looked over at you. “That’s cold.” He said.

“Y/N, I need you. I need to not think for a few minutes. All I want to think about is us for a few minutes.” You say in a deep voice.

He just looked down and you wondered if you said something that offended him.

“I used you.” He said.

“What?” You say, furrowing your eyebrows.

“I was selfish and used you not to think about my problems.”

“I used you too.” You said. He looked up at you. “I didn’t want to think about my issues either. I loved how I could just lose myself in you.”

You each just stare at each other for a moment. Peter finally gets up and pulls you out of your chair. He looks down at you in an adoring way. You tried to keep your breathing steady. He began to lean in and your heart set on fire. You had kissed plenty of times. But suddenly it felt so different.

His lips brushed against yours and you almost let out a gasp. You reached up and destroyed the small gap between your lips. The kiss was soft, and slow. It wasn’t sexual at all. It was sweet.

He pulled away and let his head rest on your forehead. “This is more than friendship.” He said.

“Yes.” You said.

“This is also… more than just sex.” He said.

This was not something you had imagined hearing. You smiled up at him. “Yes… it is.”

anonymous asked:

Can you do pynch for the ship thing please <3

YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I CAN 

(god FINALLY)

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

I mean. Adam doesn’t usually get hurt by ronan so much as he gets annoyed. disappointed. pissed. He never lets ronan’s venom actually get to his veins, he’s too busy telling him how unnecessary the flash of fang is. ronan on the other hand. like. he’s easy to hurt. adam would never in his life want to hurt ronan (it’s his honest to god nightmare) but I think ronan works himself into such a despair at the smallest jealousies and perceived injustices that adam could make one careless comment and ronan would fixate on it

who is emotionally stronger?

ohhhh adam. it’s adam. He’s been dragging so much emotional rubble for so long that he’s built up a tolerance. strong is like The Most adam adjective that I can think of. ronan never had to get to adam’s level of detachment and dissociation bc the first 15 years of his life were gorgeous and easy, and he’s still growing into his protective shell. Adam had to be born in his

who is physically stronger?

it’s ronan tbH he has the upper body strength of a boxer and the broad shoulders of a lynch (but also adam has clever hands and muscular thighs from years of biking everywhere and he can handle himself)

who is more likely to break a bone? 

ouch. They’re both capital R Reckless when they’re together and they have some brutal years under their belts. adam has some poorly set knobbly fingers and ronan has an old snapped clavicle that took forever to heal and constantly bruised knuckles so like. idk. In the future, when adam parrish has escaped from his childhood prison, I’d like to think that they both get ugly minor injuries from doing joyful ramp and dolly and shopping cart type activities only

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

surprisingly difficult question to answer bc I mean. It’s ronan. but is it? he systematically winds people up and adam is so deeply irritated by him that he straight up walks away, but also adam can be ice cold?? it’s so easy to get to ronan. They both fumble and call each other mean names when they want to compliment each other it’s a big mess

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

holy shit would you believe neither??? the most stubborn humans on this earth!! record holders!! we got some emotional repression folks! hooooo boy

adam never starts arguments for no reason so he’s always thinking it through and coming to the conclusion that he’s in the right?? surprise he ain’t apologizing

meanwhile ronan can’t stop being cruel even though he knows it’s hurting people, it’s this vicious self-protective instinct that hurts so good and so wrong. and then his pride gets in the way once he’s cooled down. but he will come to st agnes on his knees and grab adam’s hand and try to make it clear that he’d step on his own pride on the way to adam’s door

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

sad & unfortunate :(( adam treats ronan’s solely bc ronan doesn’t know how the fuck to treat an injury and also ‘none of them wanted to hurt adam parrish’, so ronan’s got his stupid pointless anger related scrapes and adam’s got his anti-bacterial gel and they are a dream team

who is in constant need of comfort? 

neither of them come out on top here man. They’ve had some shared harrowing experiences, and some separate trauma that they’re trying to tell each other about (if their stories could just stop. sticking. when they try to say them out loud). in v different ways, neither of their families are families. Ronan doesn’t let himself fall asleep, and he doesn’t let himself go through things, and the repression starts to calcify into cruelty like it did right after his father died. adam can’t stop thinking about gansey on the roadside, and he can’t be touched some days, most days. he can’t stop swimming or he’ll die. He can’t keep swimming or he’ll die. The gangsey is a critical support system made of so many weak beams

who gets more jealous? 

are u fucking serious,,, it’s both of them pal. remember when every combination of his friends that didn’t include him made adam like. sick with jealousy. remember when ronan saw gansey talking on the phone with adam and wanted to put his hand through a wall. or when adam brought blue along on their quest and he spouted nasty shit the whole day. they both deeply want each others attention and they don’t seem to realize that they already have it? always?

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

ohh god. oh man. oh boy. Here’s the thing. adam’s gonna walk away from ronan, but he’s not gonna walk OUT on him. he’s going to walk away because he’s not on a leash, he’s gonna spread those beautiful fucking self-made wings. And ronan is too!! in his own time he’s gonna build his own spaces that aren’t the barns and he’s going to realize what home means to him and they’re both gonna walk out the door and back but never close it behind them

who will propose? 

a controversial topic! I’m on team adam for this one pals. I was on team ‘adam’s gonna kiss ronan first’ for a while before trk like a FOOL and I realized the error of my ways bc ronan is physical as fuck! and a risk-taker! of course he kissed adam smh. But a proposal? That’s a contract. That’s a speech. That’s a chess move. Ronan wouldn’t corner adam like that. Adam knows how ronan feels and more importantly he knows how HE feels himself, and I think one day ten years into their relationship the practicalities are gonna beckon and he’s gonna look ronan in the back of the head while he’s sleeping and roll over into the curve of his spine and tell him he wants a ring on his finger 

who has the most difficult parents?

omg… fuck off

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

tactile bastards! both of them! ronan especially wants adam’s hands…., any which way he can get them. I mean. He will kiss adam’s hands when they’re at dinner at nino’s and he’ll hook their fingers together even for the 20 second walk from the BMW to monmouth’s front door like he LIVES FOR IT (adam feels nervy and exhilarated every time it’s gay)

who comes up for the other all the time? 

i mean they’re always together so they don’t really bring each other up. if they’re not together they’re with gansey/blue/henry or even fox way babes/vancouver crowd etc and those ppl get real tired of it real quick. adam usually keeps his ronan related musings to himself though like he has self-control unlike… R.N.L. himself

who hogs the blankets? 

ronan does tbh adam has never hogged anything in his life and ronan is a shit

who gets more sad? 

an unfair Q, man. They’ve both had a super rough time, especially right post-trk?? those few months are hard. Ronan cries a lot. Adam gets numb and far away a lot. They have a lot to be sad about. (But more to be happy about. They made it. They honestly just stare at each other and laugh breathlessly and touch foreheads and hands and scars and can’t believe their luck)

who is better at cheering the other up? 

I sorta said this with ronsey but I think ronan is THE BEST at doing dumb shit to take his mind off of things. Like all that stuff about making adam quiet and turning off the lists and anxieties in his head so that they can do smth mindless and dangerous? yeah that. memes and songs and poor decisions. depression whom?

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this never happens wtf they’re not really ‘playful slappers’ HOWEVER adam will glare at ronan so hard that it probably feels like a slap

who is more streetwise?

it reeeeally depends on your definition of streetwise?? Like if we’re talking survival it’s unquestionably adam. He can fix your car and bandage your wounds and figure out your taxes and make himself invisible and blend his accent into whoever’s around him. He’s wicked sharp and fast on his feet. But i mean. he can’t quite drive stick. and he wouldn’t be caught dead in the sort of underground that ronan ends up in. ronan is streetwise in terms of the actual street, and he knows the most brutal avenues a person can end up on, the real life nightmares that feel closest to the ones in his head. Ronan is smart enough to navigate the chaos, but adam is smart enough to avoid it altogether

who is more wise?

adam. easily. ronan is intelligent and instinctive and talented (or adam wouldn’t get him as well as he does) but adam is a genius and that look behind his eyes….. he’s lived about 1 billion times more than he should’ve by age 19

who’s the shyest? 

neither of them are shy exactly they’re just buried under 9 surface level personalities that you have to crack open with your bare fuckin hands

but if you met either of them in the hallowed halls of aglionby you would think adam was shy and ronan was a rampant fuckwad so based on appearance?? adam. he keeps his head down.

who boasts about the other more? 

as soon as adam is officially his bf ronan takes a ten year long victory lap he’s so embarrassing

who sits on who’s lap?

y’all. we all know ronan sits in adam’s. it’s a fact of life. he probably had a sexy dream about it when he was 17 and took his morning shower in holy water

p3/p5 family au info thing

first and foremost, i’d just like to reiterate that this is an au so i can do whatever i want with it, don’t go militant on me for having fun pls thanks 

alright so i woke up with like 409386093 asks about the parents dying [niijima parents’ death isn’t a spoiler but there are p3p spoilers in here so watch out :0….]  and i suppose this is needed shdfjfgkhfjal i’m laughing so hard- so the range of questions i got are “YOU’RE GOING TO KILL THEM OFF?” “THEY’RE GOING TO DIE” “THIS MEANS THEY’RE DEAD” and

OKAY SO, i originally made this au so i can have them both alive and happy so, it doesn’t really follow p5verse that much. i didn’t really think too deep about this au to ponder about how they’ll die because i just really wanted to have an akiham family to play with LOL (i like to call this branch “please save me from p3p depression”)

however, after some development with friends, it got a little bit more angsty and this is where it starts to follow p5verse more. so back to the original p5 plot: yes, both parents will die like how p5 has told. (i call this branch “Depression Setting In” GKSGLSKG:AL;)

so basically:

  • first branch = lighthearted; “No Angst Allowed, Good Time Only”
  • second branch = angsty, bittersweet; “lms if u love eating shit and dying”

i like both branches tho so i will most likely draw for both sometimes! mostly just the first branch tho bc i wanna run away from depression pls so i apologize in advance if i ever confuse you all with that HAHA so you can interpret my drawings with whichever branch you prefer: if you love being in post-p3p/p5 canon denial bliss or eating shit and dying, it’s up to you my dude

for the second branch, to answer the questions:
1) “how will hamuko die?”

Keep reading

Dorianmance Week 2017

When? February 20-26

Event tag? #Dorianmance Week

Many of you expressed interest in participating so why not bring some more Dorian love to everyone’s dash? Always wanted to write that one-shot? Draw a comic? Write down all the romantic headcanons?

Now it’s your chance! The rules are simple: create something for your Dorianmancing Inquisitor for the week: be it fanart, fanfic, video edit, screencaps or headcanon. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Hard Hitter – switch themes between angst, fluff, humor, bittersweet, smut. Make us feel things.

Customized – come up with few AUs during the week. Vampires? Hipsters? Gladiators? Go nuts!

Forever Marked – explore your post-Trespasser headcanons.

Synergized – team up with other Dorianmancers. Art trade? Fic swap? Collaborations are beautiful things.

People Person – You haven’t romanced Dorian but still want to participate? Create something for a friend who did! Ask a Dorianmancer about their ship!


We are all busy people - besides it’s not quantity that matters but quality. Even one post is a great contribution!

For those who like to challenge themselves. Set your goal and post fresh content every day for the week. Flood the tags with your Dorianmancing OC!


Happy creating, guys! (:

3

STONY! 💖“You look straight ahead; I’m going to give you a smooch.”😘

Hey guys! Sorry for being disappeared so long. I am very busy now because of many new jobs. However I still have drawn the fan art which I like the most in my spare time.

Does anyone ship Stony?

You have sent me very many messages. Thank you so much. But I can’t reply to every single one now. For anyone who needs my authorization to share my pictures in the other websites, here’s my answer:

Everyone is welcomed to repost of these pictures but please indicate the source and author.

Thank you and have a great day! : )

Hail Stony! 💕

————

My twitter:https://twitter.com/RDJlock

anonymous asked:

do you have aus where Killian is Emma teacher/professor?

hold me in this wild, wild, world by @themmaswan [one night stand with the teacher which leads to some delicious bedsharing. i rec it a lot and you’ll see why]

Ship It by @lifeinahole27 [henry ships his teachers and vice versa. there’s a sequel and it’s steamy as hell. i have an unhealthy obsession with this two shot. hope there’s more someday]

The Busy & The Tired by @blessed-but-distressed [ Emma is a long-term high school sub and Killian offers to give her pointers. She declines, but realizes she needs it like 5 min. Into her first class]

Canon In D Major by @i-know-how-you-kiss [‘Hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my child’s teacher’ told in a sexy, delightful way. there’s a smut outtake too. liz, you’re a gift]

I don’t usually do this by @emmaofmisthaven (my title)

We Got Us by @lifeinahole27 (professor x teacher. their professions don’t play a role in the story, but read it and you’ll thank me)

Impression Soleil Levant by @princess-emma-of-misthaven 

Something There by onceuponacaptainswan  

“Sleepy”

I actually finished this quite a few days ago but I’ve been busy all of yesterday and the day before, birthday party shit, y'know.

Either way I’m very proud of this one, I could have done better with the anatomy tho… but I like the colors u w u

I also did sparklies in the lighting :3

But eyy nova back at it again with the mattord drawings! … yep. I’m someone’s inspiration! 😅

!!Do NOT use my art in any way, shape, or form without my permission! Please and thank you!!

As we get closer to season two, I feel like it’s important to make this one small reminder:

Kat and Dom are not dating. They are not in love. They are good friends. Kat is engaged. I don’t know what Dom’s doing with her dating life and quite frankly it’s none of my business. They are not a couple in real life.

You can love the relationship (the friendship) that they do have. I certainly do. Hell, if you want to privately, jokingly, “ship” them, I really don’t care. Go ahead. But don’t make posts about how “in love” they are, don’t say that Kat should leave her fiance for Dom, and for the love of all that is good in this world, do not ever send them comments about how they should date or questions about whether they are.

3

Please share this post.

https://m.facebook.com/shadyfoxlamps/

Shady Fox Lamps

My personal home business.

I make very high quality lamps from liquor bottles and marble stone bases. Hand made out of Kansas City. within the US shipping only for now. I can do PayPal and locally card through Square.

I’m a white passing Native American/ Irish/ Scandinavian mixed race girl. My direct grandparents were full and half blooded native so I’m not one of those white girls claiming 1/26th cherokee princess in their left pinky toe crap. From what I can actually get from my autistic birth mother is we are Blackfoot and Sioux. I myself am also autistic, transgender or I guess more appropriately a two spirit? Idk. I’m a girl with extra bits. I’m mentally ill, and physically disabled. I have ehlers-danlos syndrome. I’m a partial wheelchair user. Constant cane user. I served an honorable 5 years In The us navy doing humanitarian aid missions. I was in Haiti for 2.5 months. Ptsd from that. And from a friend in my unit committing suicide and another dying during deployment. I’m self harmful. Other than this lamp biz i have no other job. I’m living on disability. Hahaha. Trying to live off that. I need this business to take off. I’m trying to get a business degree from a community college starting this fall semester.

Please help my business, please share this post. Check out my page on Facebook, like it/share it. Please help a struggling blob survive.

My biggest problem with this series is something a lot of the fans, especially the girls, agree with. Whether or not we ship the same things.

You know, how girls are treated in this series. They’re not as smart as the men, they’re not as strong as the men, they’re too sensitive, they’re too bitchy, their boobs aren’t big enough, their boobs are too big, they cry too much, they don’t cry enough, they’re too slutty, they’re too boring, the only girls that get attention are those whose lives revolve around men, I could go on and on about the complaints people have.

But I’m going to talk about one girl specifically, Hinata.

I don’t like her character, and for reasons not a lot of people talk about. And no, it’s not because I don’t ship NaruHina. We all know she’s the most popular Naruto girl. And yes, she is kind, shy, some fans say she is beautiful [though no one in the series or databooks actually says it], some say she is strong [though she’s never won a fight that wasn’t added in or expanded by Studio Pierrot] and she’s very agreeable. So why don’t I like her?

Because she fits the bill of the sexist man’s perfect woman. Here’s a clip from American Psycho, directed by Mary Harron, for reference

Really this entire clip can be applied not just to the entire Naruto series, but the Anime and Manga business as a whole. But for my point, I’m going to point out one quote specifically,

“A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and will essentially keep her dumb fucking mouth shut.”

And look at the youtube comments below if you think men don’t think like this.

For those of you thinking, “No, she’s a good person!” She’s not a person, she’s a fictional character created by a man who paired her with another character based off of himself. If you don’t agree that she fits the bill…

…We’ve got Hinata with the huge rack that has been pointed out more than once in the series [chick with a little hard body]. Her entire character revolves around wanting to be with Naruto and wanting to do what he wants to do [who will satisfy all sexual demands], but of course she’s not going to just throw herself at him because oh gosh that would be inappropriate [without being too slutty about things], and she’s oh so shy so she won’t speak her mind whenever Naruto’s being dumb or unreasonable [and will essentially keep her dumb fucking mouth shut].

Yes, she does fit the bill.

Kishimoto is not kind to women in fiction, never has been. Even to Hinata, everyone’s favorite “Byakugan Princess” [because being the oldest girl in a family makes you a princess apparently]. Even since the beginning, with Sakura, Kishimoto created her to act like a “real girl” and not just what men want women to be like. You know what else he claimed he first made Sakura to be? Unlikable.

Despite how great of a person people claim she is, Hinata was not spared by Kishimoto’s sexism. She simply bothers me because she is not a good person, she is the direct result of misogyny.

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Never Make Deals with Mermaids

a.k.a. Gabie’s Obligatory Mermaid/Pirate AU feat. Adrienette!

inspired bc i wanted a mermaid au where mermaids were badass, bloodthirsty, and had a certified license to kill. it was supposed to be a one-shot, but let’s ignore that bit for now.

i know that there are a million and one pirate/mermaid au’s but i’d appreciate some likes/reblogs/comments if you happen to read on! :) at the rate this is going, this is gonna be a beast of a fic. 

[Next: Chapter 2]

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: Never Make Deals with Mermaids

Summary: The only reason Adrien came up with such an elaborate trap for a mermaid was to sell her on the market, rake in some gold, and get a new ship to help him carry out some business. Simple as that.

The plan wasn’t for this mermaid to attack his crew, hold him at sword point, and steal his maps for some ridiculous mission involving magical stones, egomaniacal pirates, and a plot to stop the end of the world.

This beautifully dangerous creature was certainly going to be the end of him.


Chapter 1: Capturing a Mermaid


“Adrien, let me be the first to say that I still think this is a ridiculously stupid idea.”

Adrien pulled the flask out of his coat and pulled the cork out with his teeth. “Aw, come on, Nino. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“My sense of adventure is perfectly intact, thank you very much,” Nino frowned. “So is my sense of self preservation. This is a suicide mission, you idiot!”

“It’s only a suicide mission if I screw it up. And for your information, I’ve thought this out meticulously. It’ll work. Besides, I know you’re secretly hoping that we pull this off. You know how much we need the money.”

Nino sighed as Adrien shed his captain’s hat and his coat and draped them in Nino’s arms. “There are other ways to fund a journey to the Eastern Seas, you know. It doesn’t have to include chasing after a fairytale.”

“It’s not a fairytale,” Adrien insisted, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it over Nino’s head. “I’ve done my research. Went to a library and everything.”

“Yeah! You did research! Based on the drunken ramblings of past sailors! That hardly counts. You’re putting your life on the line for this.“

“You worry too much, buddy. I’ve got this under control.” Adrien turned around to the rest of his crew and held up the knife he kept strapped to his thigh. “Alright gentlemen, listen up! There are rumors of mermaids in this part of the sea, so we’ve got one chance to do this right.” He pointed the knife at Kim. “Are the nets ready?”

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