Mass Effect: Loyalty Missions
Shepard: Are we all ready to go guys?
Legion: Geth consensus…beep boop.. please save us.
Kasumi: I need to dress you up, break into a mansion and steal something for me.
Shepard: ….Okay, oddly specific but okay.
Jacob: I have daddy issues.
Tali: Don’t we all?
Shepard: Okay, so Tali, you’re daddy issues too? *scribbles on notepad*
Tali: Oh yeah and can we reclaim my homeworld too?
Shepard: *facepalms, writes it down*
Wrex: Cure my people’s thousand year old disease.
Shepard: that might be hard but okkkayyyy.
Garrus: Help me wipe out three gangs and one lone guy.
Shepard: Do you think he’s even alive in this reaper shit show?
Shepard: Okay, do you know where he is?
Garrus: Idk, my heart will guide me
Shepard: Ugh! Okay. *writes it down*
Ashley: I’m dead.
Shepard: Oh! Oops sorry about that!
Ashley: It’s cool.
Liara: I need to become the shadow broker!
Shepard: Liara, do you NEED to become the shadow broker or do you just WANT to become the shadow broker?
Shepard: Okay, fine.
Mordin: Help me find my student? Also seashells?
Vega: Help me think of a sweet N7 tattoo design?
Shepard: FINALLY! NOW THAT SOUNDS MANAGEABLE! Who’s next?
Grunt: I just hit puberty.
Shepard:……………………….oookkkkaaayyy not sure I can help with that.
Miranda: Help me hide my kidnapped sister?
Shepard: Wait ……What?!
Joker: Get rid of this ship cancer.
*EDI walks in a game later with her sexy robot body*
Joker: Nevermind. I’m good!
Jack: I want to go blow some shit up.
Shepard: What kind of shit?
Thane: Help me stop my son from making the mistakes I did.
Shepard: Thane, teens are teens, they gotta make there own mistakes.
Thane: At his age I became an assassin.
Shepard: *writing rapidly* Oh, yep, nope, might wanna stop that.
Samara: Help me kill my daughters?
Shepard: WHAT? OMG THIS IS TOO MUCH! I SWEAR if one more person asks me to do something I will light the citadel on FIRE!
*Kaidan walks in*
Shepard: AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! END WORLD HUNGER?
Kaidan: *In small scared voice.* I made you cookies shaped like hearts.
Shepard: *hugs him* THANK YOU GOD!