i shall live by forgetting myself

One widely publicized incident during the American Civil War was is attributed to a Union soldier as related to Brig. Gen. A. L. Long of the Confederacy and Brigadier General Marcus Wright of the Federal Army,

I was at the Battle of Gettysburg myself, and an incident occurred there which largely changed my views of the Southern people. I had been a most bitter anti-South man, and fought and cursed the Confederacy desperately. I could see nothing good in any of them. The lost day of the fight I was badly wounded. A ball shattered my left leg. I lay on the ground not far from Cemetery Ridge, and as Gen. Lee ordered his retreat he and his officers rode near me.

As they came along I recognized him, and, though faint from exposure and loss of blood, I raised up my hands, looked Lee in the face, and shouted as loud as I could, ‘Hurrah for the Union!’ The general heard me, looked, stopped his horse, dismounted, and came toward me. I must confess that I at first thought he mean’t to kill me. But as he came up he looked at me with such a sad expression on his face that all fear left me, and I wondered what he was about. He extended his hand to me, grasping mine firmly, and looking right into my eyes said, ‘My son, I hope you will soon be well.’

If I live a thousand years I shall never forget the expression on Lee’s face. There he was defeated, retiring from the field that had cost him and his cause almost their last hope, and yet he stopped to say words like those to a wounded soldier of the opposition who had taunted him as he passed by! As soon as the general had left me I cried myself to sleep there upon the bloody ground.”

Source: My Brother’s Keeper; Union and Confederate Acts of Mercy During the Civil War.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I hope your day is going well so far. Can I request something for Damian sneaking into his older batsis' room when he can't sleep?

It’s been alright so far! Thank you! I hope your day is going well / will go well! Thank you for requesting! Hope this is alright for you! 

Damian has tried counting sheep and even reading through a couple of historical journals to try and lull himself to sleep but to no avail, he laid on the bed, eyes still wide awake. He had tossed and turned for a good few minutes before promptly throwing the covers off of his body.

“TT.” He sat up and looked around the bedroom. Damian does not even know how long he had been trying to fall asleep but he also knows that it’s probably nearing 3AM right about now.

He briefly contemplated the decision he is about to make before getting off the bed. He padded to the door and quietly closed the bedroom door behind him. Walking through the hallways at night used to be something he looked forward to because of the lack of people but nowadays, it just seemed rather empty, lonely even. He frowned as he took the familiar walk to his sister’s bedroom.

Damian isn’t sure you are still awake at this moment. Normally you would be, Damian supposes, but considering the fact that lately it seemed as if you had been putting in a lot of hours at work, you probably wouldn’t be awake either. He shifted. “TT.” Maybe he should just go back to his own bedroom?

The moment he reached your door, he lets his hand rest on the doorknob, questioning whether or not he should disturb you. He could just sneak in, stay beside you and leave right before you wake up for your morning shift. Damian is torn between wanting to sneak in and leaving – you did seem a little bit worn out earlier when he went to talk to you before he had left for patrol with father.

Damian dropped his hand from the doorknob and is about to turn away to head downstairs when the door opened. You stood there, looking at him sleepily. “Hey Damian.” Your voice is heavy, laced with sleep. You let out a small yawn. “I figured it would be you.” You open the door wider. “Come on.”

Damian frowns. He was sure he had been quiet enough and he knew he barely made any noise when he had approached your door earlier.

Seeing the confused look on Damian’s face, you let out a soft chuckle, pulling him inside. “You tend to forget that I live with a bunch of detectives and trained vigilantes. I have come to pick up some tricks for myself too.” You were not about to tell Damian that you are aware of how he would sometimes sneak in to your bedroom – you knew your little brother would just be super embarrassed afterwards. That shall be a secret you will carry to your grave.

“TT.” Damian walks over to the unoccupied side of your bed before making himself very comfortable.

“How was your patrol?” You ask, padding back to your bed. You got under the covers and threw them over Damian too. He turns to his side so that he can face you. “Alfred did not wake me up so I assumed none of you came home too injured.”

Damian shakes his head. “TT.” He is starting to feel his eyelids getting heavier. “Todd got grazed by a bullet but it was nothing too life threatening.” His voice is getting softer and heavier. “What about you? How was your day, big sister?”

You smile, turning to properly look at your little brother. You could see him struggling to keep his eyes open so you decided to entertain his question. “It was super tiring but I managed to help a lot of people today. A little girl even shared her apple juice with me because I fixed up her hand. Poor girl broke it when she fell off a trampoline.”

Your explanation fell upon deaf ears and instead is greeted with a light snore. You giggle to yourself when Damian twitches slightly before moving closer to you. You tuck the covers up to his chin before pressing your lips on his forehead.

“Sleep well, my little brother.”

book starters [11]

                                  ( LEO TOLSTOY ) ( ANNA KARENINA )

  1. “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
  2. “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”
  3. “There are as many minds as there are heads.”
  4. “There are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.”
  5. “Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels?”
  6. “Be bad, but at least don’t be a liar, a deceiver!”
  7. “Anything is better than lies and deceit!”
  8. “It’s much better to do good in a way that no one knows anything about it.”
  9. “If you love me as you say you do, make it so that I am at peace.”
  10. “I don’t want to prove anything, I just want to live.”
  11. “It’s hard to love a woman and do anything.”
  12. “The law of loving others could not be discovered by reason, because it is unreasonable.”
  13. “Love those who hate you.”
  14. “Not one word, not one gesture of yours shall I, could I, ever forget.”
  15. “I’m like a starving man who has been given food.”
  16. “There are no conditions to which a person cannot grow accustomed.”
  17. “Enough or not – it will have to do.”
  18. “I ask one thing: I ask the right to hope and suffer as I do now.”
  19. “Whether we shall be the happiest or the wretchedest of people–that’s in your hands.”
  20. “I don’t allow myself to doubt myself even for a moment.”
  21. “There can be no peace for us, only misery.”
  22. “The pleasure lies not in discovering truth, but in searching for it.”
  23. “One must live for the needs of the day, in other words, become oblivious.”
  24. “We are all created to be miserable.”
  25. “When one sees the truth, what is one to do?”
  26. “You’re not going to get away with it.”
  27. “Where love ends, hate begins.”
  28. “I’m afraid I’m becoming ridiculous.”
  29. “Command me to disappear, and I disappear.” 
  30. “You shall not see me if my presence is distasteful to you.”
  31. “I can’t think of you and myself apart.”
  32. “Whomever the gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad.”
  33. “They ought to find out how to vaccinate for love, like smallpox.”
  34. “It is terrible but true.”
  35. “When you understand that you will die tomorrow, if not today, and nothing will be left, then everything is so unimportant.”
  36. “What’s all this arguing? No one ever convinces anyone else.”
  37. “I didn’t know you were going.”
  38. “Ideas, work - it’s all dust and ashes.”
  39. “I have nothing but you, remember that.”
  40. “Where am I?”
  41. “There is something in me, hateful, repulsive.”
  42. “I don’t get on with other people.”
  43. “No, I have no pride. If I had any pride, I should not have put myself in such a position.”
  44. “It means such a great deal to me, far more than you can understand.”
  45. “You have conquered me, and I am yours.”
  46. “If you could ever forget and forgive what happened.”
  47. “I have never ceased to love you.”
  48. “It is as if all that was good in me has hidden itself, and only what is horrid remains.”
  49. “That only shows you have no heart.”
  50. “I hate them all, and you, and myself.”
  51. “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.”
  52. “It’s all the same to me.”
  53. “I don’t imagine that I shan’t appreciate your choice.”
  54. “What shall we drink?”
  55. “I’m not living, I’m waiting for a solution.”
  56. “If one loves anyone, one loves the whole person, just as they are and not as one would like them to be.”
  57. “The one sure and never-failing resource —-; slander.”
  58. “If I succeed not, still I will have known happiness.”
  59. “I must ask what it is you want of me.”
  60. “I want love, and there is none.”

“I fell in and out of love as fast as you could bat an eyelid. My first blighted love affair occurred during this year too. If I live to be a hundred I shall always sympathize with sixteen-year-olds and their first unrequited loves. Because never, anytime after, does hope so die in the human breast as it does at this age. For my own affair I felt as if I wanted to die, and then I was afraid I might. It took several years before I could forget entirely the injustice I felt had been meted out of me.”

“I graduated with the class of ‘20. A sweet girl graduate (at least I liked to think of myself in those terms.) I was seventeen and willing to set the world on fire. Ambition ran so high in my mind that I all but choked on it. I really didn’t know quite what I wanted to make my life work, but I was willing to try everything.”

“Can anyone jot down a chronological order of their life and not finish without tears? Why do I at this moment feel lonely and let down? I really do not know. It seems as if, in writing these pages I have brushed closely to those who are gone from me. Lovable ghosts they are and very near right now. Will I ever seem that way to all of you?”

- from my great-grandmother’s memoir, written in 1945, addressed to her three children

Somedays I forget that you are gone,
the ghost of you is so alive it nearly breathes,
I take pictures of flowers for you and photograph
every dog and cat I meet.
I tell my neighbours about your eyes,
and my colleagues about how we met.
Yet I can never quite finish
the story.

Somedays I forget you aren’t coming back,
it’s been 394 days since you left.
The socially acceptable mourning period
has long since come to an end.
But I can’t seem to shake my need.
My need for you is ever lasting
no matter who may need you now.

Somedays I lie to myself.
Lay in bed and remember how it felt
to have your arms draped around me
your hair splattered across my neck
and your steady breaths
acting as the only lullaby I shall ever
Pretending that tomorrow I’ll wake up beside you
and all this pain will be over.

Most days I live in a fog castle
Forbidding myself from remembering
yet still incapable of forgetting.
I build the walls around my being
so tall, so wide, so thick, so sturdy
I almost convince myself this time
you won’t get through.
But your ghost always seems to seep
back in.

These days I’m a bit of a ghost myself
My skin is grey and blue
my veins forest green
and my eyes as purple as the bruises
I could have sworn appeared the day
you left.
To think,
you may haunt me but I’m the one
who’s dying.

—  The ghosts and those they haunt (emf)

theyaminebula  asked:

Father/daughter Vader and Leia #18 or #19 (whichever you feel up to)

(19: things you said when we were the happiest we ever were)

She knows her father’s wrong.

It took a long time to reconcile her heart and her head, to remember morality over loyalty; she spent a lot of nights as a kid trying to toe the line of black and white, to mix the paint enough that she’d finally see the shades of gray. It was hard; she cried and yelled and screamed, raging against her own blood and the galaxy she never chose to live in. She knows her father’s wrong.

It’s always there, like some thunderous cloud - it’s sewn in Vader’s breath. The constant litany of oxygen, of crimes. Just like her father could escape the infinity of his breath, Leia could escape the endlessness of the corpses in his wake. They could forget. 

“It’s not so bad,” Leia said. Vader was inspecting her swollen hand, the stiffness of the metal limbs belying warm concern. “You should see the other guy.”

“Do not give me pitiful excuses for injuring yourself,” Vader said. “Would you like to visit the doctor, or shall I splint this myself?”

Leia rolled her eyes. “It’s not pitiful! And… should I trust you?”

“My daughter,” Vader said, clearly exasperated, “I have done much worse than break my hand.”

“Fine,” she said. Peace like this was hard won - she’d take what she could get.

Vader led her to the workshop table, still holding her swollen hand, and a medical kit floated out of the cabinet. “Would you like to explain how you injured yourself this time, my child?”

Leia bit her lip. This was a little embarrassing. “You know Antonio, right?”

“No,” Vader said, delicately taking her hand. “I will try to be gentle. Be prepared.”

“We know what happens when you try gentle - ouch - Antonio Motti Junior, the - “

“Oh,” Vader said. “Motti’s son.”

“Yeah,” Leia said. “He - he kept trying to tell me the Force isn’t real, and that you were a liar. That you were just a droid. But you’re not, and I may have - lost it.”

Her father wasn’t a droid. He was many things, but he wasn’t a droid.

“Give young Antonio some credit,” Vader said, “he was sixty percent correct.”

Leia giggled, despite herself. 

Vader tended to her hand, and they fell into companionable silence - Vader radiated pride through the Force, which she sheepishly accepted. She knew it would turn to betrayal the next time she tried to convince him of the Emperor’s corruption.

Teen Wolf Finale Game Plan:
  1. Ignore all the PR for tonight’s episode.

  2. Fail miserably at #1 and get shitfaced to forget.

  3. Form the biggest prayer circle for Derek. LONG LIVE THE KING!!

  4. Sob uncontrollably starting 5 minutes prior to Teen Wolf airing.

  5. Continue sobbing through Wolf Watch because, hi..Hobrien is on it. *crosses fingers & contorts body into a pretzel in hopes of a repeat of this*

  6. Drown myself in Sterek fics until June 2015. 

*Alpha Group Hug* to everyone watching tonight. Together we shall find a way to survive. <33