i shall eat you

The signs as Code MENT quotes

Aries: You think that’s bad. Mine died by eating its own babies. That’s not FOOD, Tamagotchi! That’s just not FOOD!

Taurus: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!

Gemini: Not this time, Anime Batman! This time, I shall defeat you!

Cancer: That was not eating. I’ve seen eating; what you did in there was pure chaos!

Leo: Nunnally! WE HAVE TO KILL THE TOOTH FAIRY!

Virgo: I can live entirely on a diet of crayons and lighter fluid!

Libra: Eh, she stopped with the whole white clothes thing. Now she looks like a cross between a French Maid and a Vietnamese hooker.

Scorpio: You’re so Caucasian your hair is white!

Sagittarius: Your fucking moral compass is a roulette wheel!

Capricorn: I LIKE SALAD FORKS!!!

Aquarius: Now I don’t know who’s bringing lunch tomorrow, so everyone cover yourself in oil, I’m gonna light this match, and whoever’s the last person to burn wins.

Pisces: Have you ever seen a British person? I haven’t, so therefore, they don’t exist.

threrian--sunblade  asked:

"Y-you work your self, too hard my L ... Lord." Walking into the office, Threrian carried a large tray with various over sized dishes on it. "I hope you don't m-mind, but i took liberty of the kitchens here. F-for starters I made you some duck spring rolls. Since you haven't eaten for two days i made you some lamb stew with steamed buns. and a raspberry trifle for desert. Please, don't argue as the head of our family. You have too keep up your strength which you can't do on an empty stomach."

.|| @threrian–sunblade ||

The paladin looked at what could’ve been caled a feast, and stood up from the chair, leaving his half-written reports the way they were.

“That is more then a single person can eat, I think. Your kindess is appriciated. Shall you accompany me to the dining room?”

“And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.”
‭‭Joel‬ ‭2:25-26‬

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harryshumjr: 🎉THANK YOU! 1 Million Instagram followers!🎉 I shall celebrate by eating 1 million marshmallows in 1 million minutes. Starting….

Come home to me, Mother -
come make a home in my bones,
so that your wisdom passes to me
as I eat your flesh.
You gave birth to me and I
have watched you become a Crone,
‘fore long you shall have withered away
and I will eat your heart.
Soon it will be my turn, Mother,
my daughter will make an abode in me,
and then she shall eat me,
and I and you will be in her bones too.
—  c.k. | In Our Bones

Eat of the Forbidden Fruit
and ye shall be as Gods!
Eat and ye shall be Wise! 
Said the Serpent to the Maid…

Said the Maid to the Man,
Said the Man to his Son,
Said the Son to his Wife…

And so said They,
from generation to generation,
til all Their Kindred knew the Secret.

And so, Beloved, must I say unto you:
Eat and ye shall be Wise

—  One: The Grimoire of the Golden Toad
What’s up with “shall” and “will”?

Shall we begin?

The traditional rule in standard British English is that shall is used with first-person pronouns (I, we) to form the future tense, while will is used with second and third person forms (you, he, she, it, they):

  • I shall call you later tonight. 📞
  • We shall be waiting; please don’t be late.
  • They will not be in stock if you wait too long.

But when it comes to expressing a strong determination to do something, it’s the other way around: will is used with the first person, and shall with the second and third:

  • I will not eat green eggs and ham!
  • You shall eat it, Sam-I-Am! 🍽

In American English, “shall is virtually interchangeable with “will,” except in asking questions (see below).

Therefore, all of the following sentences are correct:

  • She called to say that she will be late.
  • I shall play the role of Hamlet.
  • Melanie will bring doughnuts for the entire class. 🍩
  • Soon, they will heed Gandalf’s warning.

However, “shall” and ”will” are NOT interchangeable when it comes to questions.

We use “will” in the following types of questions:

  • Will the test be difficult?
  • Will you marry me? 💍
  • Will you be sad when we’re gone?

💁We use “shall” in questions that involve “I” and “we”:

  • Shall I bring you a cup of tea? 🍵
  • Where shall we go next weekend?
  • Shall we dance?

I’ve been wanting to get back to my old self for the longest time, but now I know what I must do. 

Going to marathon teen titans.

Any good links?

STORY TIME.

Okay so I live in England. I was out walking around town one day and I saw this little cute restaurant at the end of the street named Boston Tea Party. I immediately began laughing and my friends stopped me. “What is it? What’s funny?” I pointed to the restaurant name. They stared at it and then back at me with a ‘what the hell?’ look on their face.

Me: “Boston tea party. You know, the boston tea party! You know what that is, right?”

Friends: “No???”

I didn’t really expect them to know that much of American history but

So I described what the boston tea party was. So they’re like “Oh okay… So why is it funny?”

WHY IS IT FUNNY??? WE THREW YOUR TEA IN THE HARBOR AND YOU NAME A TEA SHOP AFTER IT? DID THEY KNOW WHAT IT WAS WHEN THEY NAMED IT THAT OR DID THEY JUST THINK IT SOUNDED NICE?

So whenever I pass it in the street I turn to my friends and with a blank face say, “I’m gonna throw their tea in the river.”

And what everyone didn’t know was that I was serious. I planned to sneak in, or if I couldn’t, apply as an employee and get in that way. I was legit going to steal all the tea and dump it in the River Avon.

So to start my mission I did what anyone would do: Google.

Google… enlightened me. I learned it was not a tea shop and was actually an american style diner. They don’t even serve tea. “Oh,” I said. “…That makes more sense.”

I WAS PREPARED TO COMMIT A CRIME JUST BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT’D BE FUNNY. I could just imagine it. Getting deported and sent back to America. And when all my america friends asked me worriedly, “What? You got deported?! Why?!” I can explain the situation. And I just know I would be everyone’s hero. I know it. I would add it to my list of life achievements. Everyone would love me. My high school US teacher would put up a picture of me in his classroom. Everything would be perfect.

so the moral of this story is…

DON’T LET ME GO OUTSIDE.